Hey guys! So this used to be 'Charlotte' on the Thor board but I finally got around to changing the name and moving it to the Avengers board. I'm grateful for all of the new readers. I hope you enjoy and I'm looking forward to hearing from you. As usual, I own nothing but Charlotte.
All of us left Stark Tower quickly. I had been sickeningly nervous about the conference and all in all, it had gone very well. They didn't ask me any question that completely threw me for a loop. My breathing was back to a normal speed and I tilted my head down when we walked by the masses of photographers and other people that were still scrambling to see us. Once inside one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s vehicles, I breathed a sigh of relief. It was over. I had gotten through it without puking everywhere.
None of us said much on the way back, other than that there was going to be an Avengers only meeting when we arrived. I expected that that would be a firecracker of an event, given what all of us had discovered the night before. Once back at headquarters, I gave the six of them a nod and I headed to the apartment. Once inside, I got onto one of Tony's many laptops and started playing around on clothing websites.
The invitation to the gala in hand, I searched for dresses that would be considered appropriate for a black-tie affair. Nothing short, of course. Nothing too over the top. I settled on an emerald green floor length silky dress that was one-shouldered. Silk was not a forgiving fabric by nature but it certainly was not skin tight. But it was dark green. It was my go-to color because it matched my eyes but now it sort of went along with Loki. Oh, what the hell is my problem? It's a color. It's not like I'm going to walk out there in matching armor. What would that achieve?
I forced my bangs out of my face as I continued looking, now for the appropriate shoes. Gold would be classy, right? I actually owned gold shoes anyway. Anything to save myself money. Gold and green complimented each other extremely well.
I was still online shopping in the kitchen when I heard the elevator doors open. I was searching through my huge purse for my wallet as Thor walked in, rummaging through the cabinets. I hastily keyed in my information and the card number so that they could charge it and looked at the watch Tony had given me. I was going to get a deal for shopping in this timeframe. As a rule, I generally didn't like online shopping because it sucks away the experience but I was in no way opposed to their deals.
I heard a commotion behind me as I shut down Tony's laptop. "PopTarts are on the top shelf in the cabinet to the left of the sink, Thor," I said. I felt like I had to keep a constant eye on them because Thor would make meals out of boxes of PopTarts. I heard him grumble a response and I quickly looked out into the living room before turning back to Thor. "Can you seriously help me learn how to dance?" I asked quickly. Thor slowly turned to look down at me and he nodded, with a sly grin on his face. "It's not like that!" I laughed a little. I had just bought a dress for the occasion; a dress that would complement Loki's style.
Thor clapped me on the back in a jesting sort of way, laughing about it, and it pushed me forward from sheer force. "Of course I will teach you," he responded.
"That's great," I responded in an almost moan. "But, uh, you mind if we keep this-" I was going to say 'down low' but I never got the chance, not that Thor would've understood the phrase anyway.
"I am going to teach Charlotte to dance, my friends!" Thor boasted loudly before crossing the threshold into the living room. I leaned forward onto the counter, my fists burrowing into my forehead.
"Never mind, just shout it from the rooftops. It's not like it's gonna be embarrassing or anything," I whispered to myself. I gave in and grabbed my huge purse off the counter, along with Tony's laptop. When I walked into the living room, the six of them were sitting around. Thor was stuffing his face with the PopTarts I directed him to, Tony seemed fixated on his fingernails, Steve looked confused and frustrated, Bruce didn't appear like he cared about anything, and Natasha was entertaining Clint's flirting for once. "How was the meeting?" I asked, putting my stuff on a side table and taking a seat beside Steve.
"They didn't take it well," said Tony, "and they tried to deny it up until Steve put one of their prototypes on the table." I felt a smile creep onto my face. I had helped with the prototype. Well, not exactly.
"Did you mention…" I began, hesitantly glancing at Bruce. He shook his head in response. I wanted to know major details on the Winter Soldier but only time would tell on that front. With Loki as the immediate problem, a brainwashed best friend of Captain America would just have to wait. "After that, did they say anything?" Steve shrugged beside me.
"Not anything of value," said Tony. "Just that we shouldn't be snooping and you need to make sure you're not getting into trouble anymore." I rolled my eyes. Me? Get into trouble?
"I take it you told them about what's gonna happen." Natasha seethed across the room and I could practically feel her anger. I didn't know whether that anger was still directed at me or not.
"We're on our own," she said. Oh, that's what had her riled up. We weren't getting backup until the absolute last second. Well, from what I understood, the gala wasn't meant to be a battlefield. We wouldn't need the extra men to begin with and if they were there, they would make Loki's instincts flare up and he might not even show. Even if he did, he'd be more willing to start something if he saw we were on the affront.
"We can come up with a good plan anyway," said Steve. "Hopefully, we won't need it."
That was the end of that. They refused to say anything more on what was going on with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the weapons they had planned on creating with the cube. Maybe they didn't know anything more than what they'd already told me. Whatever the case was, we were all lost when it came to what to do.
As the afternoon grew later and the PopTarts grew shorter, I got Thor to teach me some basic dance steps. I hoped dancing was done in Asgard the same as it was done here. I stood to the side as Thor lifted the coffee table out of the middle of the surrounding couches and put it behind one of them. Lifting things seemed effortless for Thor. His arms barely even strained themselves. It probably would've taken me hours to move the same table across the room.
Thor was still wearing his nice outfit from earlier in the day but had untucked his shirt. I was wearing my golden heels that I planned on wearing to the party. He grinned at me from across the room before we met in the now empty space in the middle of the living room. Thor then commenced into physically moving my arms into the right position and making me stand up properly. I breathed out. I was going to hate this.
After Thor had gotten me into the proper frame (without outright laughing which was commendable), he put one hand on the small of my back and grasped my other one. I reluctantly pressed my free hand onto his back as well. "We must be closer," Thor said in that thunderous voice and he pulled me closer with a force I should've been expecting, but wasn't. I made a noise in response but kept my gaze on my feet. My fingers were tangling into the loose fabric of Thor's shirt and my grip tightened on his hand.
"Just don't let me fall," I said. My gold heels awkwardly rubbed against each other and I think my feet knew that it was impossible for me to get through dancing without tripping at least once. Walking in heels wasn't necessarily the problem because I usually did that at work and I tripped even when I was barefoot. But being in heels and walking in some sort of pattern, with a rhythm, to music? My feet systematically didn't like being on the ground.
"Do you trust me?" Thor said it as a joke and was probably meaning he would do his best to catch me.
"I don't know if I trust you with this," I responded skeptically. I wasn't sure of anyone helping me dance.
Thor laughed in response and I found it rather reassuring. "You must follow me," he said. Good because I certainly doubted that I could lead. Thor went through a few steps and I learned to mimic his feet with my own. All in all, it wasn't bad. I would just have to remember it. At least, I had another day to practice.
My grip on Thor's hand would've been crippling on anyone else's, I was sure, but after all, Thor was Asgardian. When he forced me into a dip, after explaining it was the natural progression of the dance, my feet tangled in each other and I lost balance. I made a noise and dug my nails into Thor's upper arm now that the hold was broken. Thor started laughing again and put me back on my feet.
Tony clapped from the stairwell. I pushed my hair out of my face and shrugged. "Not bad, Princess!" said Tony. "Keep working on it!"
"Thanks," I responded blandly.
"Just do not look at the floor so often," Thor said. I nodded. I felt like I had to to keep myself from falling.
"Well, let's take a break," I said, collapsing onto one of the couches. I took off my gold shoes and sat them to the side of me. They really were great heels. I glanced at the glittering watch on my wrist, the gift from Tony, and noticed that it was later than I thought it would be.
"Can I ask a personal question?" Tony asked, sauntering into the living room to sit by my side. I rolled my eyes when Clint leaned over the back of the couch, clearly wanting the same answer he did.
"If you must ask," I responded. Thor was carefully putting the table back in the middle of the room and I noticed that the other Avengers were entering. Natasha and Bruce got off the elevator but disappeared upstairs and Steve was meandering in the kitchen. I vaguely heard him get out a glass.
"Truth or dare?" asked Clint. I rolled my eyes again.
"Ask whatever it is you wanna know. I will answer without those pretenses." Clint leaned closer and Tony put his arm on the back of my seat on the couch. "There's no need to get cozy," I joked.
"We're just curious about something," Clint said. I put my head to my hand, looking down at my knees.
"Just ask."
"You have to be honest too. Well, we were thinking earlier about all of these conflicted feelings you've been having and we just wanted to know-"
"Did you sleep with Loki or not?" asked Tony. My head shot up out of my hand, I saw Thor grip the arm of the couch he was sitting on, and a glass broke in the kitchen. Great, Steve was hearing this too.
"No," I responded. Tony's face dropped. He'd clearly been wanting some details. "Sorry to disappoint but no. I didn't pop his cherry or anything." Thor looked confused and Clint succumbed to laughter as he jumped over the back of the couch and took my other side.
"He's a virgin?" asked Clint.
"Can't say I'm surprised," said Tony. "The guy is a bit of a freak." I gave Tony a look.
"It's not like that," I said. "I don't know for sure but I just always assumed. He was so eager to try it with me and I guess most guys are like that anyway but I'll never know for sure. I just kind of got the impression that he didn't fit in back there and so he never dated. He was always really resentful of Thor and Jane. I think he didn't think an opportunity would present itself." As a researcher, I did pride myself on being good at reading people. It was the way Loki came off and it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it endeared him to me even more, if that was possible.
"So why didn't you sleep with him?" asked Clint. I shrugged.
"I was really nervous about it most of the time. I'd just sit in my cube at work and I'd think about going home and being with a 'god' and it was just insane. I never really even accepted we were dating because it was so surreal. I was just so excited and nervous all the time." Thor looked like he'd rather be doing anything else other than picturing Loki being with anyone and I felt bad for him. It was awkward for me to talk about too.
"So you never once even saw each other naked?" asked Tony. I shook my head.
"Not fully."
"How fully?" My face was burning red but he wasn't going to let up and I shrugged.
"One day, we were going to… go for it, I guess, and I kinda planned it ahead of time when I was at work that day because Steve was in the cube beside me and it was utter torture and I felt bad about thinking of him like that when I was with someone and I convinced myself to stop being nervous about it. But before anything really happened (I think only our shirts were off since you're so curious, Tony), my phone rang and it was Steve saying Thor had come back. And then Loki and I were just done anyway." I glanced over Tony's shoulder and saw Steve standing in the threshold between the kitchen and the living room. I wanted to jump out of a window. First of all, Steve had never reacted well to talking about sex and with Tony around, we talked about it a lot. But I'm sure this was a new level.
"Man, you were cockblocked!"
"Can we not talk about this anymore? It's really awkward. I'm sure it's awkward for everyone here. Why you would even want to know something like that is beyond me."
"Hey, you know who everyone here has been with. It's not fair."
"Why don't I just send out an email the next time I sleep with someone? I'll give it a 1-10 evaluation." I'm not sure whether any of the four them really understood that I was joking.
The next couple of days passed rather quickly. My dress got delivered and everyone was preparing themselves. Steve suggested we all have stuff in the building should something begin to happen and I agreed with him. Tony set things up in various rooms apparently the morning of the gala. I was being given a S.H.I.E.L.D. bodysuit because according to Phil, I'd "earned it." Finally, I was getting something I deserved.
The night of it, we all gathered in the living room and started talking again. "We have to find the tesseract," said Thor. "There are more of those Chitauri waiting for Loki's command."
"But where is he keeping it?" asked Natasha.
"Well, let's think," said Tony. "He has to have it close because he continually strikes us in a home base. Why? He knows he's got to defeat us to be able to do this at all, doesn't he?"
"I thought the goal was to take us down one-by-one," said Clint.
"Yeah, divide and conquer, that's great but… Loki is a full tilt diva. He wants an audience! He wants to beat us. He wants to be seen doing it."
"That's why he made that speech downtown," said Steve. Tony nodded.
"Oh, he wants it all. He wants flowers and parades and admirers, a huge monument built to the skies with his name on it… Son of a bitch." We all had the same realization that Tony did. Tony's building in New York hadn't been open very long and it was running on clean energy. Tony had built something akin to an arc reactor and it meant that his building had self-sustaining power, therefore, it was all over the news. The biggest improvement on the building was that it had his name emblazoned on it. Loki had even been there before.
"Oh God, it's going to be there tonight," I said. "He wants it there. But why? He'd have to worry about that the entire time. I thought this could be a peace negotiation."
"You had to know that it wouldn't be," said Bruce. "You're not going with him and that was Loki's entire bargain. I swear, that guy's brain is a bag of cats." I'd never heard that expression before but I tucked it away for a rainy day.
"Clint and I can work on finding it," said Natasha. "I'm sure we won't be missed." Thor and I stared between each other. Neither of us knew how to react.
"But what is he going to do with it?" I asked. "Why have it there?"
"The first time those aliens attacked, they were coming out of a portal," said Steve. "The cube opened it." That made a lot of sense, given the tesseract's immense power as an energy source. It could be a doorway and it also explained my theory on Red Skull not being dead, just being shot off into another realm. Of course, the cube opening a portal for the Chitauri made sense. The tesseract's energy was also incased in Loki's scepter. It was all connected. But was he genuinely planning on opening up another portal tonight or tomorrow?
"He'd have to be outside to do that, right?" I asked. They all nodded. "What about your roof or your new balcony, Tony? Could he set something up out there?"
"That would be my first guess. Set it up on the roof and relax on the balcony while a new fleet of those things tears apart New York," Tony responded. I felt like I needed to sit down. Tony had been right. It was a ploy to get us all in the same place and without weapons so that we couldn't save the city. He'd probably take us out.
"Well, he wouldn't have the time, would he?"
"He doesn't need it," said Clint. "S.H.I.E.L.D. has no shortage of enemies. Loki has people who could do it for him." Thor crossed his arms and walked around a bit. He looked a little lost without Mjolnir with him but the hammer was securely in Stark Industries, as were everyone else's weapons of choice. I certainly hoped I had plenty of ammo because I sure as hell wasn't sitting this one out.
"I think our best plan is to just be prepared," said Steve. "Something is obviously going to happen. At least we'll be ready for it." I didn't know how ready I would be.
"I'll have the quinjet on standby," said Clint. "That way Natasha, Steve, and I can get off the ground if need be. We shouldn't take any chances with those airships." Steve nodded while my hands began to shake. Was this really happening?
"That sounds good but shouldn't we be focusing on trying to close the portal if it even opens?" Natasha asked. I held up my hand so that they could give me a minute to figure it out. Thoughts ran through my mind at a mile a minute and finally, they settled on the answer we needed to hear.
"The key to it has got to be his spear," I said. "It's powered by the tesseract. I think that would be our best bet. No normal weapon is going to be able to break through some force field or stop a self-sustaining energy source."
"Charlotte, where have you been hiding all of your brains?" asked Tony. I laughed a little. "You can do it. Get the scepter and close the portal. It shouldn't be hard for you." My mouth dropped open but I didn't say anything when none of the others opposed it. If they wanted to send me to my death then that was fine because trying to separate Loki from that staff would definitely anger him. But then I realized that none of them were opposing the idea because they thought I could do it. They actually had faith in me as an agent.
"It's not gonna be as easy as it sounds but I'll try. I'll have to be with him alone and we might get separated," I said. "It's gonna make him mad when I refuse him and I'm to going to add insult to injury by trying to take the spear. If it looks like it's going downhill, I want out." Thor nodded. He had his own fish to fry with Loki and if it looked like I was in danger, Thor would be my backup. He could be my partner during at least part of the night.
As I got into my dress and donned my gold pumps, I tried to think of any way to avoid a seriously bad confrontation. Who was I kidding? I had to turn down Loki's offer. Even if I didn't, there was no guarantee Loki would back down. He still wanted this place, he had nowhere to go that would accept him, at least not for a while, and I couldn't lie to him. That wouldn't be fair to me or him or any of the other Avengers. I had serious feelings for Steve, feelings that I wish would go elsewhere until I was healthy enough to deal with them. Realistically, there was never a time where I felt mentally prepared enough to deal with romantic feelings for someone.
Loki was going to be angry and he was going to lash out at me. It might, in fact, be dangerous but I had to do it. The six of them were counting on me and I had a good theory on closing the portal, a theory they trusted and one I really believed would work. The pain Loki would be caused would be worth it. The pain I would endure would be worth it. The loss of our relationship could dissolve a planet-wide pandemonium. I didn't want to bite the bullet and lose Loki forever and maybe I wouldn't but the risk was certain and I had to take it.
I descended the stairs after finishing the touches on getting dressed and putting a wire on. I hoped it was indiscreet. I was actually excited about the gala. I loved an excuse to dress up and I was looking forward to seeing everyone else cleaned up too. But the intent of the night eked it's way into every singular good thought I had. I was going to decline a halfassed offer that Loki clearly hadn't thought through. It wasn't my fault that he didn't realize he couldn't take refuge on my couch anymore. In some sickeningly nice part of my mind, I thought of Asgard and how now the potential of me going there was slim. Not that I wanted to see the place that tore Loki apart inside. No doubt that would be his punishment.
The seven of us exchanged pleasantries at how nice the rest of us looked and I felt my heart giving way to tremors when I saw Steve. He looked handsome, as he usually did, but he also looked nervous; nervous to see me, nervous to stand next to me in the elevator, nervous about dancing. I got the feeling that Steve would be more comfortable with the inevitable fight that would happen after the gala than he was with the gala itself.
Once there, I locked myself to Thor and Steve in a desperate attempt to drive off any bad feelings. They were both relatively positive people but tonight, they seemed worse off than I was. Hours passed in quiet. Tony introduced me to a few of his compatriots, all of them saying how regal I looked in emerald. I knew green was my color and I always played to it whenever I could. I downed a martini (even though I wasn't particularly fond of them) at the bar while talking to Bruce. Inevitably, I began to get antsy. My eyes focused on the dance floor, where Clint and Natasha were dancing, and I took to staring at other people. Was Loki even going to show up at this point? It was late, later than a party like this would usually last but it was being thrown by Tony.
I felt a jolt when Thor rubbed against me in a comforting way. When I turned to look at the blonde demigod, I felt my fears begin to subside. "Are you not curious to try your new steps with these good people?" he asked. I knew he was wondering why I hadn't gone dancing.
"I'd rather not die tonight," I responded. Once the words were out of my mouth, I regretted saying them. Thor put a surly hand on my shoulder. We could die tonight. I was especially at risk, what with turning Loki down if he ever decided to grace us with his presence. "But on second thought, it would be nice." Thor grinned in his beautiful way and I had a quick thought of how lucky a woman Jane was.
"Then why are you not dancing?" My eyes locked with Steve's as he was making his way toward us and my hands began to shake.
"I've just been waiting on the right partner." Steve froze in the midst of the room and I swear, he was blushing. We could all hear each other, thanks to our wires and I knew he'd been listening to Thor and I. When Steve looked at me again, I only nodded.
The "right partner" thing stemmed from the multiple times I've read Steve's file and everything it included. His first love, Peggy Carter, and he had had that running line with each other. It felt wrong for me to say it, to take it away from someone who he couldn't be with and never had the chance to, but at the same time, it was true. It felt right for me to say it and I could tell the minute that Steve walked up and offered me his hand, it had been the right thing to say.
Thor had given me a sly grin, the way a big brother would tease a little sister, before I'd followed Steve onto the dance floor. When I got into the hold that Thor had taught me, it felt right to be doing it with Steve. "Did Thor teach you to dance too?" I asked. Steve looked down at me and for once that night, he didn't look terribly nervous.
"He might have," he responded. I broke into a grin and he gave me a laugh that was so genuine, that I wanted to hug him.
"He spent more time with you than he did me," I said, noticing that Steve was obviously a better dancer than I was. Maybe that was an after effect of the serum. You didn't become a human at their physical peak without having some sort of benefits.
I paused for a second, realizing this is something normal people did. Normal people went out and danced. Normal people were teased about having a crush on someone. Normal people were… No, no, there was nothing normal about Tony laying across the bar and trying to convince Bruce to start singing.
I put myself closer to Steve and I looked up at him, trying to gauge whether it was okay to do. He didn't push me away and I felt guilty because I thought that he should. "Why are you so nice to me, Steve?" I asked without thinking. He appeared confused, a line showing between his eyebrows like he was overly stressed by the question. "I don't deserve it," I offered up in explanation. "It's not fair to you, the things I've done."
"You love someone else, none of us can change that." It was an obvious statement and it really was true but I didn't want him to know how deep my feelings were for Loki. I didn't want him to know how deep my feelings were for him. "But you do deserve this." I closed my rouged lips and turned my head to the side, resting it against his chest.
"You're a good man," I said, "and I'm glad I took you on as an assignment." I wondered if one day I would come to regret my involvement with the Avengers but I'd only ever been grateful for it. These were the best friends I'd ever wanted.
I felt Steve breathe out and I moved to look up at him. "I'm glad you did too," he responded. I knew he was too nervous to say anything else because of how Steve got when he was around women but I knew that he meant it all the same. He might've been a different person if Maria Hill had been assigned to him.
"Dammit," I heard Tony say. I dropped my hand from Steve's lower back and turned to look at Thor, whose face who showed every emotion in the book; anger, sadness, and guilt. I closed my eyes tightly for a long moment before turning my head to glance at the entrance. Steve dropped my hand but almost as quickly, I wanted it back. Loki was standing in the doorway, immaculately dressed and staring at Steve and I.
I made a gesture at Steve as Loki approached and I hope he understood that I wanted him to back off and go elsewhere. I didn't want it all to go to hell faster than anticipated and it surely would if the two of them got around to having a conversation.
Loki's eyes glinted with what I assumed was jealousy and his thin lips were pressed together in a tight line. He didn't have the scepter and I felt my nervousness only expand. Where was it? Clint was staring over Natasha's shoulder at me but I didn't make a move to respond to it. When Loki arrived in front of me, I felt smaller than I usually did but I tried not to think about it. "May I have this dance?" he asked, his usual clipped voice sounding husky with some unknown emotion. He extended a pale hand toward me and I took it. He was as cold as I had remembered him being and in fact, the air in the room now seemed to have a hint of coldness.
When I moved to get into a hold with him, I placed my free hand on his shoulder, knowing that that was less casual than if I'd placed it on his lower back. Loki took his time with me or it seemed like he did. His hand moved across my bare shoulder in a way that I thought might be too sensual for him to be doing in public and when he rested his hand on my lower back, he pulled me into him. I averted my gaze the minute we started dancing. This was going to be terrible.
I caught a glimpse of Thor and his eyes looked between Loki and I like he couldn't seem to decide who would be better to look at. "You look beautiful," Loki said. My hand dug into the fabric of his suit and I desperately hoped he didn't take notice of it.
"Thank you," I said. "So do you. You always look beautiful." He was, in a sort of tragic way. I had always felt weird using that adjective to describe a man but nothing else would do someone like Loki justice. I wasn't looking at him but Loki forced me closer to him again and I knew that he appreciated that I was responding. All in all, I would've felt better if I'd had a gun. There was something oddly comforting about having one now that I'd done so much training.
"I hate to spoil your wondrous mood," Loki began, as he curled down towards me, whispering in my ear, "but it seems to me that you are not in one. What is your decision?" I gulped and my grip hardened on his shoulder and his hand.
Tony whispered, "Good luck," and I stared down at the floor.
"I'm sorry," I said, beginning to lift my head. "I'm so sorry for everything but I can't go with you. I can't." I immediately was sorry for looking at him. Our eyes connected and for a second, he had an innocent and childish look on his face, like he was experiencing his first betrayal. I sucked my breath in when I saw it, as it reminded me of things I loved about Loki, and it faded just as fast.
The look on his face conveyed all of his fears confirmed and his grip on me turned fierce and animalistic. I winced. I saw him bare his teeth as his hand raveled in the fabric of my dress and my heart gave way to tremors. Loki broke his gaze on me to scan the room, his emerald eyes looking like they wanted to burn the building to the ground, and I knew he was searching for Steve. "How could you do this? Why?" Loki demanded, his voice turning guttural and I knew I'd lost him. He'd never really loved me, he just wanted attention, but it hurt me to know that I had to do this anyway. "You have signed your planet's death ledger, you impotent girl," he snarled down at me, his eyes searching my face for any sign of weakness and I'm sure I was giving him plenty. I yanked at his grip, trying to pull away, but I couldn't, not with his strength.
"You have to understand why," I said. Normally, I would've made a snide remark about him calling me a girl but in his eyes, and Thor's, I'm sure I was nothing more than one. At any rate, I didn't want to press Loki. This had finally sent him over the edge.
"I should have known better than to waste my time on someone like you. You are careless and a fool and losing you means nothing to me, you sickening mortal." He was lying; I sure hoped he was lying. "But I must thank you for showing me how naïve the humans are." Anger was his primary emotion and he looked like he hated me but he also looked terribly brokenhearted. I defiantly kept my gaze on him.
"Look down on mortals all you want but there is something special about humanity and it's something you'll never have. This realm will never bow to someone like you." Loki pushed me away from him when I hit his final straw. He had a certain pain on his face and it almost made me regret saying it.
"There are no men like me," he said and for a moment, he seemed calm.
"That may be true but men always want what you want, Loki. They never win and neither will you." I think I was beginning to get choked up and I forced myself through it. "You don't have to do this. Give this up and go home." It was my last plea and Loki had to know how desperate it was. His façade crumbled for a second and he wanted to believe me but he snarled again almost as quickly.
"What home is that, Charlotte? You know as well as I that Asgard holds no love for me." I took a second to look behind me and all of the other Avengers had dispersed aside from Steve. I felt calmer just knowing he hadn't abandoned me.
"Maybe they would have if you'd been good. Maybe you're lost now but you weren't always. Everything wicked starts from innocence. And God, I'm sorry for everything you've been through." He gave me a withering look, that spear materializing in his hand and a gold glimmer surrounded him as his armor replaced the suit he'd been wearing.
"You know nothing of pain," he responded, with a sheen to his eyes that I wasn't sure weren't tears. I took off running the minute I saw his intent and he jerked the spear anyway, a blue beam breaking Tony's downstairs bar. The building shook from something that didn't result from Loki's staff and I knew it was the portal. I didn't look back when Steve raced toward and grabbed my hand.
I forced myself to move with extreme difficulty, spurning my beautiful gold pumps and running into the office holding our things with Steve. We turned our backs to each other before rolling up our spandex costumes, mine the blue and gray fitted suit with the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo emblazoned on it. I heard Steve make a noise and I gulped as I zipped up the front of my suit. I strapped on my guns and felt safer for having them so close. Gray boots sat against the wall, waiting for me to pull them on and I did so, clumsily falling over them and catching myself against the wall they'd been sitting near.
"God, I'm gonna get myself killed one day," I shrugged quietly. I turned and looked at Steve, who was looking at me with worry. "But it won't be today." Not today, not for either of us. Steve had yet to pull on his cowl and for that, I was grateful. For all my fake confidence, I wasn't sure that this day wouldn't be the worst yet.
"You shouldn't be here," he said, whispering anxiously as he approached me. I shook my head. I was going to do something right. I was going to close that portal. "Are you sure you don't need backup? I'll stay." I shook my head again. He wasn't endangering himself unnecessarily when he could be helping civilians, his favorite thing. It would be selfish to keep him in this building.
"Go with Natasha and Clint and get airborne. Then you can figure out everything else. I'll go for the cube," I said, the building shaking again. This time I knew it was more of those alien pods. Was I absolutely sure this was a good idea? No, I wasn't. But I didn't want Steve near Loki and I think they both knew that. "You should go now," I said reluctantly. This situation was bigger than anything any one of us had ever dealt with. Steve engulfed my small frame in a hug that broke my heart. It took everything in me not to start shaking in his arms. But he had enough on his plate without adding my emotions to the mix. Too bad they were the only things I acted on.
When Steve began pulling back, I stood as tall as I could make myself (which still wasn't very tall) and grabbed the back of his head in a harsh embrace, crashing both of our lips together. It wasn't the romantic moment either of us deserved but under the circumstances, I wasn't sure either of us cared. My free arm wrapped around his shoulder and he held me in a steadfast way and for a moment, I completely forgot that I could be going to my death. My back pressed against the wall and my feet began to tire of being on their tiptoes but I didn't care. Steve filled me with a warmth and happiness that I had never experienced before and I cursed myself for not giving into this feeling earlier.
My guess is neither of us heard the door open, revealing Tony and Thor. Or we didn't care. Either way, hearing Tony say into his mic, "Barton, you won't believe this! Steve and Charlotte are finally making out!" jerked us out of whatever trance we'd been in. Clint's reaction of cheering made color rise to my cheeks and Thor was grinning in a happy way, like he'd wanted this for both of us. "Well, we'll give you two some time to say goodbye. But Rogers, the quinjet is ready." Steve nodded without returning Tony's gaze.
"Hey, be careful," I said, putting my hands on either side of Steve's face, trying to keep him close to me. I wanted his warmth. "Just please be careful." He smiled in response and all I wanted to tell him was that he shouldn't settle for me.
"You're the one that needs to be careful," he said. I closed the distance between us again and pressed myself as close to him as I could get. Steve was an innocent kisser and maybe I was one too.
The next time someone arrived, I heard it. My instincts flared and so did Steve's. I pushed Steve back at the sight of Loki in the doorway. "Go," I whispered. I didn't know whether Steve responded with a nod or what. My eyes wouldn't leave Loki's face. It was filled with rage and what I could only assume was fear.
Loki magically made his staff appear again, it's blue light glowing in the early morning, along with his helmet. I shuddered unconsciously at the fact that we'd put him on alert. He slowly approached the both of us and finally I broke my staring to glance at Steve. My heart was pounding so loud that I was sure both of them could hear it. "We've got company," Steve said and I knew it was to alert the others. If they checked back in, it didn't register in my mind.
Meanwhile, Loki was switching between looking at the two of us at an alarming rate, as though he couldn't decide who the worst was. I thought about putting my hands up but I had guns strapped to me. Were they the better bet? They wouldn't kill Loki but they might delay him. I saw Steve tense and reach for his shield. Loki didn't prevent him. "I should have realized earlier that this is why you refused," Loki said. He was doing a fairly good job of containing the anger in his voice. Usually, that was the most terrifying thing about him. But his words were directed at me and I began backing away from him in fear as he tilted that scepter near me, almost toward my heart.
"Maybe if you had stopped this earlier," Steve said. "You did this to yourself." Loki turned to him now which was the last thing I wanted. Loki had a manic look on his face and he wanted to hurt Steve because he knew he was right. Steve was backing away now, the spear sending him into overdrive.
"True enough, soldier," Loki said in response. "You have incredible heart." Steve readied himself and I put my hand to one of my loaded handguns. "But unfortunately, I cannot be stopped by the likes of you."
"There is no version of this where you come out on top." Steve wasn't acting nervous but I knew he was and I was utterly frozen. I noticed how close they were to the window and I started.
Loki began grinning. "That is where you are wrong. Before this is over, all of you will kneel to me and oh, what is that Midgardian expression? Nice guys finish last." I moved fast but not fast enough because certainly, neither Steve nor I had foreseen it. Quickly, Loki had hit Steve with armored forearm, sending him crashing out of the window and I screamed.
"No!" I screeched. I heard Natasha in my ear but I couldn't respond. Loki's arm hit my middle harder than I expected when I rushed toward the window to look out. He pulled me back but not before I caught a glimpse of Steve moving off the top of a largely dented car and the destruction from the Chitauri that had already begun. "Dammit!" Loki forced me back again and I didn't resist. Steve was alright, for now.
"Cap, the quinjet! Kent's on her own, like she wanted. Thor look out for her," said Natasha. I didn't respond, silently thankful that I had a loyal partner. I let Loki take my arm, gripping it hard enough to bruise. He didn't deem me good enough for a look and unfortunately, it got to me. This was the stupidest decision on earth.
We went to the top floor, where I was led out onto Tony's balcony. I saw on the roof that the cube was opening a new portal and I held my tongue at the sight of it. Chitauri were pouring out of it and slinking down other buildings in Manhattan. What could stop that? Loki let go of my arm once we were outside. The sun was fully up and I continued to stare at the portal in disbelief. "No," I breathed. That hadn't been all of his army. We'd only seen a fraction of it. His partner must be a powerful guy. "Loki, I am begging you. Please stop this." Loki turned at once, giving me a look that made me feel like Judas.
"It is much too late for that." My eyes clouded over and I felt fear fill me in a way it never had before. For a second, Loki showed a flicker of regret and I wanted to apologize to him.
"It isn't. Please, let's stop this. Give up this poisonous dream. It isn't worth it. Look at what you're doing!" I cried desperately. I heard one of the Avengers say that it was no use but I couldn't help trying. I flinched as the Chitauri poured over a neighboring building and Loki extended his arm toward me, almost like it was a reflex. "Please, do not hurt these people. You can't imagine what that will make you feel." Loki clenched his lips together. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry."
"I will tear this city apart and I will kill those Avengers one by one while you watch and then and only then will I accept your apology. You know nothing of the pain I have felt and I will never be able to make you suffer the way I have. That is the only regret I shall ever hold. But I will give this realm the king it deserves." Emotion filled me and I felt myself begin to cry. He was fully gone. I'd lost him.
"I know you've been hurt before and I never once wanted to cause it. You have to believe me. But hell will freeze over before I let you kill any one of them." I hoped my fear wasn't showing but Loki gave me a seductive smile.
"Oh, you stupid, foolish girl. Your life means nothing to me." I took that newest insult in good form. "But a clean death would suit you ill." I felt my jaw clench and I tried to hold back another set of tears.
"If you do kill me, so be it. I'd rather die than bow to you." He snarled but I heard the quinjet and I sighed when I recognized the familiar whirring of it's engines. But Loki knew what it was too.
"Have some of your so loved allies arrived early?" Loki turned and jerked that scepter, a blue light pulsing out and I didn't think. I ran, grabbing the spear but the blast hit the quinjet anyway and a bad feeling consumed me at physical contact with that thing. It didn't last long as I crashed through the glass fence Tony had surrounding his balcony and my left side tore on a shard as I fell off the roof.
I screamed bloody murder, knowing I was going to die. I reached up in a last attempt to grab the ledge and I was jerked from the thought of imminent death when something grabbed my forearm. I thought my arm was being torn from it's socket and I looked up and saw Loki. I gasped for air and his grip only tightened. I thought he was fracturing bone. I clutched the broken bottom of the fence with my left hand but let go just as quickly from the glass. I looked up into the face of my unlikely rescuer and I gripped his forearm back with both of my hands, practically bending the metal armor. His face showed more concern than I'd ever seen and it was full of unadulterated fear. I gasped again as he pulled me up faster than I expected. I was relieved to not be dangling off the side of a building anymore.
I openly sobbed and moved away from the open edge as fast as I could. Loki moved with me, reluctant to let go of my arm. "Thank you," I said. "Thank you so much. Thank you."
"Kent, you alright?" I heard Clint say. That was the mildest any of them asked. The three of them on the quinjet were alright and they had thought I was for sure dead. But I couldn't respond.
My side was searing with pain and I put pressure to it while staring at Loki. He was awfully close but I was shaking and I didn't want to move away. I couldn't when he looked as relieved as he did. "Really, thank you," I said again. He looked conflicted and then I knew why.
"I am in love with you," he said. My eyes grew larger and I heard mumbled responses through my wire but I couldn't make them out.
"No," I breathed. "No, that's impossible. No." I had no clue it was that severe. I had never known there was a shot in hell for him to care for me the way I did for him. But I didn't get the chance to say anymore before Thor had attacked Loki and tore him away from me.