A/N: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just can't seem to get back on track with regular updates. The subject matter has gotten so heavy for poor Daryl and I want to make it right. This isn't the entirety of the chapter I intended, but I felt the need to get something out there so I broke it up. I needed to get my loyal readers something! Let me know what you think…

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Chapter 38

Daryl splashed the warm water on his face, rubbing it up and down furiously. Carol had insisted the moment he had walked in the house. Sure, there was hot coffee and a BLT waiting for him out in the kitchen, but there was no way to get at it until he'd washed up. Daryl had only stayed chopping wood another ten minutes. He didn't have much choice with Carol peeking out the window every two minutes to check on him, reminding him that he was required inside shortly.

After placing the axe in the shed and piling up the wood that had already been split, Daryl had reluctantly went into the house. He knew it was still at least two hours until Beth was done with school and on her way to him so he might as well go inside and eat. He would be by later this week to finish the rest of the wood, probably even start on the leaves for Tyreese and Carol.

Daryl dried his face on the little purple hand towel in there, wondering slightly if it was only for looking and not touching. His grandmother on his mother's side had something called fancy towels, and Daryl could vaguely remembered being scolded for dirtying one once. This little half bathroom with its little designer soaps and fancy embroidered towels reminded him of that. However, he knew Carol wouldn't be yelling at him for messing her pretty little bathroom up, she wasn't like that.

Just as Daryl exited the bathroom, making his way to the kitchen, his cellphone in his back pocket buzzed. The ringer was still off from when he'd been in court for his brother. Daryl struggled to get it out of his pocket quickly, checking to see who it was.

A text from Beth flashed on his screen. At your house. Left school early. Where are you?

His heart beat redoubled in his chest with an overwhelming mix of excitement and need. Beth.

A weak looking Tyreese and Carol were already seated at the table with his lunch at an open chair. He knew it was a dick move, but there was no way in hell he was staying when Beth was waiting on him.

Be there in ten, he texted back in a flurry of his fingers. He always hated texting, thinking it was better to just call someone and tell them what you wanted to say. None of that gibberish people used of LOL or WTF shit just say what needed to be said and done. People spent too much damn time with their noses in those fancy little screens.

Daryl shoved the phone back into his pocket, clearing his throat as he approached the table. "Uh, I gotta run," he announced lamely with no other excuse. "Sorry."

Carol shot him a narrowed eye look. "Where you runnin' off to in such a hurry after I just made you lunch, mister?"

Daryl rubbed at the back of his neck, a creeping heat flushing up there. "Uh, Beth… she's at my place."

"Oh, well then I suppose that's okay," she returned with a knowing smile.

"Hey, thanks for the help, man. I really appreciate that," offered Tyreese. The large man was still a little pale, his voice low and gravely.

Daryl gave a curt nod. "Be by later this week. I'll finish up and then start on the yard, raking the leaves," he said quickly, edging back to the door. "Eat my lunch then."

Both of his friends couldn't keep him another second if they wanted. Daryl pushed open the door as they called out their good-byes. He knew it was rude, but he couldn't help it. The one person in the world he wanted was waiting on him, for that he couldn't apologize for.

It was a quick drive back to his place, made shorter by the additional pressure applied to his gas petal. Daryl tossed his truck into park, not bothering to put it into the garage. There wasn't much in his garage, he'd mostly just used the space as a workshop when he'd been building Hope's room and had never gotten back in the habit of parking in it yet.

Beth was waiting on him at the top of his stairs, sitting there and looking down at her phone. Her eyes were on him the second Daryl emerged from his truck. Her face brightened at his approach as she stood up. Her hair was half braided, pulled back along the sides; the back was loose waves of blonde that swirled in the October wind.

Daryl locked his eyes with her cornflower blue ones as he made his way up the stairs to her. He couldn't help but wonder at how fast they'd been going, so quick in their relationship over these last few weeks. Sure, they'd known each other since that fateful day over four years ago. Maybe they were just making up for lost time, the reasoning behind how quickly their relationship had developed. In the end, it didn't really fucking matter to him if they were going too fast or too slow, she was there.

"You sounded opposite of what you said on the phone so I left school –"

Beth didn't finish her words. Daryl crashed into her, his lips covering her mouth to stop her voice. It wasn't that he wanted to stop her from talking, it was just the need to be with her was driving him at the moment. Daryl brought his hands up to frame her face. Beth pulled him to her, deepening the kiss, her hands pulling tightly at his shirt. The force of them together ended with her being pressing against the door, enough to vibrate the small frame.

It was breathless minute later when they broke, foreheads pressed together as not to part completely. Daryl rubbed his thumbs against the soft skin at her cheeks. He breathed in deeply, taking her scent in of vanilla and spiced apples. It was what he needed, but yet somehow, not exactly enough.

"Daryl?" Beth questioned with a whispered breath. She wanted to ask more, he could tell she knew something was wrong, something was off. He didn't know if he had the words or the ability to explain it exactly, that off-centered feeling at his center. He certainly didn't know if he could explain that whatever it was suddenly felt righted just being there with her. It was amazing how the clenching in his gut, the tightness in his shoulders, and the uncertainty in his soul were just gone… just gone now that she was with him.

He couldn't seem to find his voice, not just yet. Daryl let his hands fall from her face, tracing the line of her jaw as he did. He placed a hand at her hip and pulled her away from the door gently. The other hand grabbed at his keys. He'd never opened a door so fast in his life. Daryl shoved it open, took her by the hand, and pulled her into the small apartment. Her fingers clasped onto him, her warmth seeping up from his skin to his center. This wasn't over.

Shoes were kicked off in silence. Beth slid out from her grey pea coat, tossing over one of the kitchen chairs. Daryl tried not to stare, he tried so hard but Beth was so fucking beautiful. Her blue eyes burned him as she watched him in return. Her lips were pink and swollen and so inviting. A few sparse strands of her golden hair had escaped from her braid and were framing her face. All Daryl could think of was how messed up it was going to be in a few more minutes time.

Just that thought and the throbbing tightness in his pants made Daryl think he had to back up a step. He knew the healthy route would be to sit down and talk to Beth. He just didn't know how to do that exactly, how to spew out a life that had crippled him, the memories he'd spent the last eighteen years pushing down. Every fiber of his being just wanted to take her, pull her against him again to kiss her deeply, and push everything back down and away.

Daryl drew in a deep breath, stabilizing him. He needed to start somehow, to say something to the woman before him that was looking at him expectantly. Daryl blew out the breath he'd been holding, he might as well start with the first fact.

"Merle got seven to ten years," Daryl uttered in a quiet voice.

He'd heard it said a few times, even he'd spoken Carol the same words. The judge had declared it in court, and Andrea had repeated it to him in their conversation. Yet, each time the sentencing was said it sounded so long and hard and cold to him, and Daryl wasn't even doing the time. He couldn't even imagine what Merle had felt when he'd heard those words said to him. His brother would be well over fifty when he'd finally released a felon who'd done hard time. The world did not gently welcome those types of people back into her fold.

Daryl and Beth had talked about that possibility between them before so she nodded her understanding. "He took the plea," Beth responded softly, her teeth nipping at her lower lip as her hand twisted her bracelets at her wrist.

The sight of her teeth at her lip suddenly made Daryl feel very thirsty. He moved by her to get himself a glass, filling it up with water from the sink. Beth leaned against the counter next to him, saying nothing as he guzzled the water down. Once done, Daryl set the glass down and wiped the back of his hand against his mouth.

Beth was right next to him again, so close. He felt that same sudden urge to be touch her, to feel her against him. It was more than just sexual desire. It was overwhelming but not unwelcomed; Daryl wasn't about to fight it any longer.

Daryl stepped in front of her, his hand going to her hip to keep her place when she started to skirt out of his way. He settled his legs over hers, pinning her against the counter. Beth looked up at him in the small space between them. In her eyes he could see his own need mirrored back him, exposed and restless.

Her small pink tongue flicked out to wet her lower lip. "Daryl," she whispered huskily. His name wasn't quite a question, but more of a plea.

Before Beth could say more, Daryl lowered his mouth to hers for another hard kiss. It wasn't that he wanted to stop her from talking again or to stop himself from thinking at least that was the lie he told himself. He wished he could just go with the healthy option and sit Beth down to talk it all out, he couldn't. He needed this, he needed her.

His bruising kiss pressed to her parted mouth. A soft whimper escaped Beth, one of surprise but also one of desire. Daryl wasn't sure why this need had come over him so strong, overriding his every thought. He didn't really care. He knew he should be gentler, but he wasn't feeling gentle at the moment. His fingers dug into her hips, his body pressing hard against hers. He was being driven by a deep seeded animal need.

They hadn't been like this before. Beth smashed her mouth back against his as the kiss intensified. Her hands gripped the counter behind her, pressing her forward into him. There had been sparks of urgency between them, but nothing as hard and forceful as the need that was compounding between them.

With their mouths melded, Daryl shifted his hands from her hips and quickly under her shirt, along her rib cage. Beth gasped against his mouth as he cupped just under breasts, his thumbs gliding over her peaked nipple just under her laced bra. Her hands left the counter, grasping at his waist and pulling at his jeans. A groan escaped him as her fingers cupped his aching erection.

Their kiss broke as they moved against one another, enjoying the heat between them. Beth looked up at him, a wild look in her hooded blue eyes. She liked this just as much as he wanted this. Daryl lowered his mouth to nip at the tender flesh of her neck, needing to know if he could taste her wildness there. Beth enjoyed his mouth's rough attention, tilting her head to the side to allow him better access.

Daryl pulled at her sweater, shoving it up to expose her creamy breasts. He left the curve of her neck for the top of her breasts, his teeth grazing the rounded tops. Beth continued the left task from Daryl and pulled her sweater off, tossing it to the side before she started to tug at his shirt. Regrettably, to touch more of her skin he needed to expose more of his own so his lips had to leave her as Beth pulled his shirt over his head. A wet red mark on her skin was left behind by his mouth.

There was no moving to the bedroom, just a few mere feet away. No, he wanted her there and now. Once free of his shirt, Beth was already pulling at his pants, her nimble fingers releasing the clasp. Before she completed the task, Daryl gripped her hips and lifted her up to the counter in one swift moment.

Beth was now at a much better position for what he wanted to do. She still had her bra on and in place, a creamy colored one that was mostly lace. Her perk nipples pressed heavily against the fabric, demanding for release. Daryl forced one lacy cup down, his mouth latching on instantly. Beth's hands went to his head, her fingers going to his hair as she pressed him there. A moan of desire ebbed from her parted lips.

Daryl tried to keep his attention on her breast and on her throaty moans, but there was a more urgent need to free her lower half that drove him. His hand soothed the button of her jeans open. Beth lifted her hips to allow him to tug her tight jeans off her slim body. Her teeth nipped at her lower lip as he tossed the jeans and underwear to the floor, watching him with those gorgeous eyes. The light from the afternoon sun coming in from the kitchen window sets her pale skin aglow.

"You good? We good?" He grunted at her, moving one hand to his zipper. It had been weeks since Beth had gone to the doctor. She was on the pill, but that took time to be effective so they had continued to use a condom the few times they'd been together. Those latex bastards were in the other room, and there was no damn way Daryl wanted to stop to get one if he didn't have to.

Her hands were rubbing the tight muscles at his chest as she shifted to the edge of the counter. "Yes, we're good," she murmured against his ear, bringing him in close.

Daryl let his pants shift to low on his hips, a hand bringing his harden cock out. Beth's eyes darkened as she watched him direct himself to her waiting center, pulling at him with an urgency that equaled his own. When his fingers probed between her thighs, Daryl found her hot, soft and honeyed with passion. It was almost more than he could stand. Daryl moved two hands to grip her tightly at her hips and entered her with a single thrust that made her cry out, her head rocking back.

"Beth?" Daryl asked hoarsely, his body rigidly motionless. "Shit, you okay?" He hadn't meant to hurt her.

She brought her head back forward as she rocked against him. "Don't stop," Beth urged as she dug her nails into his flesh. "Don't ever stop."

Daryl groaned and slammed into her again. She was wet, so wet and tight. There was nothing between them this time, not barrier against her snugness grinding against him. The motion elicited a deep, guttural groan of appreciation from Daryl. He pulled back and measured the depths of their passion again with another thrust, followed by another, each more pleasure filled than the previous. Hunger consumed his control with a thousand licking fires as Beth leaned into him, clinging to as he pounded her.

"Next time," Daryl panted huskily, thrusting into her. "Next time I'll be slow. So damned slow."

A sound clawed free from her throat. Her back arched and her hands clenched on his hips as she convulsed in front him. Daryl swallowed her cry with a kiss, his mouth drinking her ecstasy. He kept rocking against her, driving her higher and higher, bringing them close until there was nothing between them but the elemental union of woman and man. With his own husky shout, Daryl poured himself into her, giving himself to her in the truest way he could.

There was a haze that surrounded Daryl, his heart pounding violently in his chest, but he had a calmness at his center. He nuzzled Beth's neck, breathing her in again. She sighed lovingly and allowed her hands to rub small circles against his back over his raised marks. The motion, no matter how loving she had intended, brought him back, brought him out of the distraction that had been the marvelous love making they had just completed.

Daryl drew his head back, looking at the woman before him. She looked back at him openly, a slight smile on her beautiful face. Beth knew he had scars. She'd seen them and hadn't flinched at the sight. Nor had she looked at him with pity but rather with understanding of what scars really were. Scars didn't make the person, they might mar the flesh but they weren't you. Beth hadn't asked him any questions, and Daryl hadn't offered much information beyond a crappy childhood and a bastard of a father. He never wanted to weigh her down with any details, not wanting to darken her world with the horrors he'd experienced. Daryl hadn't wanted to remember them either. Remembering brought a swell of suffering forward, a flinch at a sudden sound or a tremble to his hand at shadows moving behind him.

It was time she knew about the past that haunted him, to understand why in eighteen years Daryl had never once gone back home.

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A/N: Did the smut make up for the long wait between updates? I hope so! On a plus, my troubled chapter writing has extended this story beyond 40 chapters now (way beyond the original 15 I had planned when first coming up with the concept). I have the next three chapters written, just needs a lot of fine tuning. Hang in there with me.