Chapter Thirty Five

Sam stood and watched as a nurse helped Daniel finish getting dressed. He was still weak, but he was being allowed back on light duties, and rest in his on base quarters. It occurred to Sam that there had been a time when she wouldn't have hesitated to walk over and help. She'd offer Daniel her arm while he maneuvered the shirt on over his elbows, but she realized that was actually a long time ago.

Sam mourned for the friendship she'd once shared with him, and found herself wondering at what point she stopped being friends, and just carried on as colleagues, and acquaintances. It had been before his ascension she reasoned, she'd been forced to side with General O'Neill whenever the two men had butted heads, and it just started happening a lot. Then Daniel was gone, not dead gone, that came later, but gone off with other teams, finding his own adventures without them, avoiding the confrontations with the General and consequently cutting himself off from Sam and Teal'c too she supposed.

Moreover, they'd just let it happen, they'd let him go, and suddenly he really was gone. She'd cried for him and moved on, and then he was back and trying so hard just to slip into his place. It hadn't worked, she realized, Daniel had resumed his place on SG-1 but not with the team, he was a smiling stranger that wore Daniel's face. It scared her more than anything that she'd let it stay that way, she'd accepted it for two years, until they'd all decided to abandon the group as a bad deal. Sam almost gasped as she realized that she'd left without saying goodbye to him, without even talking to him, and she had the sneaking suspicion that neither Jack or Teal'c had spoken to Daniel either, and with them all gone, Daniel being who he was had chosen to go to Atlantis, but even that hadn't worked out.

Sam thought of the young man of 10 years ago she'd instantly connected with and couldn't reconcile him with the man she was looking at now. She wondered what had happened to the passion and zest. It seemed to have dimmed in this man now, and she missed it so much.

Sam felt a breeze on her neck and looked around, suddenly she was caught up in a whirlwind, images flashed by her and she watched as an outsider to her life,with the Stargate, starting with her meeting Daniel, and their conversation watched by Jack and Kowalski heads bobbing like the audience at a tennis match. Then they were laughing and joking around the campfire, many campfires and many jokes, many team nights filled with laughter rolled by and, Sam smiled remembering.

Then the scene changed, evolved, a fire enveloped Daniel and he was screaming and she tried to look away, but couldn't, the scene merged into a hallway, a staff-blast wound covered Daniel's chest as he struggled to crawl, or slither on his side, fighting for breath as every inch was covered in agony. A rock fall brought Sam to the mines of Pyrus and Daniel's scream as he was covered in the downfall. 'Why didn't we wait?' was all Sam could think as the picture changed again to a museum and another rock fall and the look of total desolation on Daniel's face as he watched his parents killed over and over again.

Sam watched in horror as Daniel was shot and beaten and zatted, and raped, and killed over and over again. She watched as every time he went back to his office and sat down and got back to work. At first they'd come to roust him out, mostly Jack, but sometimes Sam or Teal'c and then after a while he was just left there, just Daniel working away and leaving only to go on missions.

Then the scene changed again, Daniel was sat alone in a very dark room. Sam could feel the cold it seemed to chill her from the inside out. There was Daniel sat with no shirt on, his back was a mess of welts and blood ran freely from some of the cuts, Sam gasped recognizing the room as one aboard an Ori ship. There was sound now, a chant, "Hallowed are the Ori, Hallowed are the Ori," it repeated and almost became a hum in the background, as Sam became aware of other voices in the room.

One was Adria. "Join me, and be free of pain, set yourself on the path to ascension and you will find a life so wonderful within the light of the Ori."

The other voice was an old man, "Hold," it hissed, "Hold and I will protect the knowledge from her," Merlin, Sam realized whispering in Daniel's head.

She could hear Daniel's thoughts now, and he too was chanting, "They will find me, they will find me, they will find me," Sam had the feeling he'd been doing that awhile, and then his thoughts just suddenly changed it was as if Daniel realized something in the fraction of a second between his chants. The voices didn't change, but something in Daniel must have, because his thoughts became, "Let me die, let me die, let me die." Suddenly the whole room was filled with fire, and Daniel screamed, as he was burned alive.

Sam reached out but found herself stood back in the infirmary Daniel was walking stiffly towards the door. She wanted to call out to him, but she found herself breathless and when she looked back, he was already gone.

Daniel barely glanced at Sam as he walked out of the infirmary, his mind was, as usual, racing with everything around him and nothing in particular, he needed to go mediate before he started hearing or rather seeing other people's thoughts, it was really disconcerting when that happened while he was unprepared, and he certainly didn't want to see what had put that look of utter horror on Sam's face, he wondered absently why she was even in the infirmary at all.

Okay, you've had your lot for today, I'm cutting you off! You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here! lol!

Later, Cynic