Me: You knew this chapter was coming.
Fang: It's kind of a 'duh' moment at this point, Saint.
Me: So...Oh! Let's start with a little warning...
'ANGEL' SPOILER ALERT!
If you haven't read it yet, you do NOT want to go past the dots.
And now, for your viewing pleasure...The dots.
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Me: And that was...The dots!
Crowd: -thunderous applause-
Fang: I do NOT want to know where you got a crowd.
Me: Rented 'em.
Fang: ...From who?
Me: New company that just came out. They make special-order crowds and riots.
Crowd: -glowing happy faces- We love dots...We love dots...
Fang: ...Disturbing.
Me: Yeah, but they were well recommended by this guy, Mark...Right before he blew up.
Fang: That figures.
Me: But anyway, let's start at the beginning and tear this book apart, shall we?
Fang: I'd just like to say something.
Me: Oh, please, go ahead.
Fang: I declare myself non-canon.
Me: ...Ok, my turn. Huh?
Fang: I don't belong in this book series anymore. I don't understand what's going on. I've obviously been with Saint here too long and this other me J.P. has created is just...Not me. What the Hell? It's like, "Dylan, I hate you! Fistpump! Max! I love you and miss you so much that I'm going to be at your throat every other second!"
Me: That's emotions sometimes, Fang. They're unpredictable.
Fang: Which is why I gave up the practice years ago.
Me: -facepalm- Alright, folks, you heard it. Fang here has declared himself non-canon. With the Powers of Fanfiction Invested in Me, Fang, I hereby announce you free of whatever insanity J.P. thinks up next. -thunder booms-
Fang: Thank God.
Me: So...That uhhh...Whoa...
Fang: What?
-more thunder booms-
Me: o_0 I think I just completely freed you from the fictional dimension.
Fang: ...Huh?
Me: Yeah...Whoops. I don't think I'm supposed to do that...Just as much as I'm not supposed to drag you out of the Fictional Dimension in the first place, but hey, I'm a rebel.
Fang: Saint...What did you do?
Me: Good news is...You're free from J.P.'s vicious pen!
Fang: And?
Me: Bad news is, I may have fucked up the time-space continuum. Again. Oh, and caused a rift in dimensional balance.
Fang: ...Great...
Me: Oh well! We have a response to write!
Fang: Yeah, let's ignore impending doom and tear my creator's writing to shreds!
Me: I love it when we put on this fake cheeriness as my minions run panicking around us!
Minions: -running in panic-
Me: Moving on...Let's start at the beginning.
Fang: I believe you said the beginning of this book reminded you of something.
Me: It did. Another book I read once. It had this simple name and a pretty black cover...Anyway, I was able to compare You, Max, and Dylan to three character from this book.
Fang: And who were they?
Me: Well...
Max - Bella
Fang - Edward
Dylan - Jacob
It's freaking New Moon, people!
Fang: Oh, sick. I do NOT sparkle.
Me: Except in Fly By Twilight. :P
Fang: -eyeroll-
Me: It's just so..."Oh, my boyfriend left me...And I'm hanging out with my friend, who's a clown and has a crush on me... -Meanwhile, somewhere far away- Fang: -broods like an emo-"
Fang: Not when I'm hunting down my gang, though
Me: Fang's Gang. (tgypwya and I are lobbying to change it to 'The Fang Bangers') I have to say, I like Ratchet, though...Ratchet. Fang. Star. What's with the noun names, J.P.?
Fang: And Maya?
Me: I like Maya. She's like Max in the old days, before she had to save the world, become famous, start trusting people and trying to be halfway normal, and becoming a whiny ex-girlfriend. Maya is cool for now.
Fang: And...Please, please give your review on Dylan. I love it.
Me: -eyeroll- Ok...Well, I've heard a lot of people say they're starting to like Dylan more. And I can see why. J.P. has done some...Character remodeling on him. Gave him some sarcastic wit. Made him likable, not to mention easier to sympathize with. He's made him a real contender for Max's heart.
But, I still DESPISE him.
He's got some new little quirks thrown in, but his personality is still...Near non-existent. And he STILL hasn't given a real reason for liking Max other than that he has to, doesn't know what else to do. He's programmed to, that's all there is to it. And he's STILL way too much like Justin Bieber. Actually, I'm quite sure J.P. is purposfully modeling him after Bieber because of his popularity with his target audience.
I just...Can't like Dylan. I can't. He pisses me off. I don't know how Max can really be falling for him. I used to think I was a bit like Max, I could make the comparisons. But now, no. Not with this kid. I mean...What happened to Max here? I know if someone shoved some guy under my nose who was programmed to follow me around like a lost puppy and told me I WOULD love him, I would NEVER have the guy. Never. I don't care, my stubbornness wouldn't allow it. Wasn't Max like that once?
I know I sound like some SqueeFan, but, well, I'm still on the side of Fax, of Fang. I never realized what a soft spot I had for the pairing until J.P. ripped it to shreds. Max and Dylan is just...Too perfect. They're so made for each other, perfect for each other, engineered for each other. Max and Fang was a real relationship. A relatable plane of existence. They grew up together, got to know each other well, had their disagreements, their hard times. Max and Fang made sense.
Max and Dylan make no sense. I don't see how any amount of genetic science can make up for what is, well, human.
Isn't that supposed to be a point in your book, J.P.?
Fang: Don't forget my favorite quote.
Me: -sigh- I won't. Ok, so when I originally came up with this rant, it started like this...
"I don't understand how Max can like Dylan over Fang. I just...Can't. Like, Fang could be drowning puppies, and Dylan could be rescuing them, and I'd still like Fang better."
Fang: I can drown puppies, and still win at least one fan over.
Me: ...Don't think about it.
Fang: Because I have such a puppy-drowning fetish.
Me: More like a puppy-shooting fetish.
Fang: :D I love that game...
Me: -eyeroll- Moving on...
Dr. Hans...Is he dead?
Fang: And what aout Jeb and Dr. M?
Me: And Ella?
WAIT!
Almost forgot to say...
Iggy and Ella...FINALLY, IT'S CANON! OFFICIALLY!
Called it. :D
Fang: You and hundreds of other fans.
Me: I still called it.
Fang: Saint...
Me: Ok, ok. So, I'm still up-in-the-air (excuse the pun) about Jeb and Dr. M. Good or evil? Maybe...Neither? Just...In it for the 'greater good'? I have to agree with Max here, "There's nothing more dangerous than someone working for the greater good."
Fang: And what about Ella? Personally, I'm expecting her to show up with wings attached.
Me: Or something...
Fang: Can I comment on something?
Me: What?
Fang: This is such a lovely young adult novel, talking about the two fifteen year olds (One who is, technically, only a months-old clone of a fifteen year old) running off together to do it in a little cabin in the woods and produce babies.
Me: Yeah, folks, you heard it. Max will be featured on the next episode of "16 and Pregnant."
...Fanfiction Idea...
Fang: Please, spare me.
Me: Let's find a new thing to comment on. C3-El-0 and R2-Ig-2. El-droid and Ig-droid. Was that not mildly creeptacular?
Fang: Mildly? More like...WTH?
Me: And...I really hope I wasn't the only one who got a giggle out of what was supposed to be such a serious scene of sticking Iggy in the shower...
Seriously, he's screaming, "You're killing me!" and I cracked up. I'm messed, I know.
Fang: And when he descends from the Heavens to lead his wayward followers?
Me: What a ham.
Fang: -eyeroll- Typical Ig.
Me: Oh! Another comment!
Fang: Yes?
Me: Max and the Flock make the pact to trust no more adults...Couple problems.
1. She also keeps talking about how she and others are growing up. She does realize that one day she, too, may be an adult, right?
2. I feel so unloved...Then again, I don't consider myself an adult, but an oversized child. :P
3. "We don't trust adults, so let's ask our rich adult friend for a ride in his private jet! Yay!"
Maybe it's not that big of a deal, but I'm still pointing it out.
Fang: And so, Max's Flock meets Fang's Gang...Sorry, I mean The Fang Bangers.
Me: -cracks up-
Fang: -eyeroll- Anyway...Could we be anymore hostile? Really? The whole thing was almost ridiculous. "Oh, Fang and Max are mad at each other so we will hate each other, too! Though...We don't exactly know why..."
And I want to know how we managed to hate each other so fast. I've been gone...A couple weeks? Honestly? Yeah, so much for my 'twenty year' plan there! And Max got over me and fell for Dylan that fast? J.P. has a problem with patience, doesn't he?
-cell phones goes off-
Me: HOLD ON!
Fang: What?
Me: Got a text...
Fang: Can't it wait?
Me: It's from my friend, Anthony. It says... o_0
Fang: What?
Me: "Do you wanna see my underwear Herp Derp."
Fang: ...Is he drunk?
Me: Hold on Another text from Andrew, Pooky's owner. Says... "Do you wanna see my underwear?"
...
Fang: It must be a prank.
Me: Heh...Moving on...
Fang: I think our whole meeting could have gone better than that. And the plane ride, too.
Me: By the way, Beth creeps me out. Or...Creeped me out. I can't decide if she survived the explosion or not.
Fang: -shudders- She's just weird...
Me: o_0 OH. MY. GOSH. Messing with people's brains. Sending them images in their head. The Macbook kid. Do we have a contender for...The Voice? Or, at least an idea where The Voice may have come from?
Fang: All things are possible when you let Jimmy P. loose with a pen.
Me: Too true.
Fang: Let's skip to the end here. Angel...
Me: Just as I started to like her again...She goes poof...NOT!
Fang: She's kidnapped and thought to have gone poof.
Me: It was so depressing...And, relatable for me. The beginning of Chapter 79 says it all. "The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on. When you're faced with a tragedy, a loss so huge that you have no idea how you can live through it, somehow, the world keeps turning and seconds keep ticking."
Fang: I know where this is going.
Me: Mom. I just nodded my way through the paragraph. I remember that first week after Mom was gone. The world should have stopped turning. The clocks should have stopped ticking. But they didn't. They kept moving, so I had to. It was weird sometimes. And frustrating when people didn't seem to understand that the very world had changed devastatingly. I had to remember, it was my world that changed, not theirs.
And it just keeps changing...
But, come on, do I have to get all sappy on ya now?
Fang: I don't like how I and my gang left the Flock. I don't think I would have left so fast.
Me: I get it, but I don't. I get that Fang wants to stop the DG for good now that he believes they've killed his little sister figure, but I just don't seem to think he would have left so...Suddenly. You'd think, at a time like this, maybe the Flock would need to be together, even for just a bit longer. There should have been more there, I just feel it.
Fang: There were chunks left out of that piece.
Me: Yeah, a lot of emotion, a lot of coming together and falling apart could have happened there. But J.P. sped through. Actually, he sped through the entire book. I mean, if you think about it. not a lot happened. There were some major events all strung together, but it's the usual bing-bang-boom style he's used in all the other books. And, for once, I'm really annoyed by it. There's so much more he could've written, but chose to speed through and leave out. Quite disappointing.
Fang: Like Chapter 17.
Me: YES! Sorry to scoot back a bit, but I gotta say...I was disappointed when Jeb survived. AND NOT BECAUSE I HATE HIM! I mean...It kind of ruined the moment.
Fang: There was this dramatic "No, Gazzy can't save him! There he goes, yelling his last words and sacrificing himself!"
Me: And you feel terrible for Gazzy. You may even feel a pang for Jeb, depending on your personal feelings for him.
Fang: It's this big, dramatic ball of emotional mush that builds inside you until...Oh, nevermind. He survived. Oh well, no big deal.
Me: It was kind of pointless. It was like J.P. changed his mind last second.
Fang: Which he probably did.
Me: Ok, what else is there to discuss?
Fang: I could quickly remind you of Dylan's 'calming singing power'.
Me: JUSTIN. FREAKING. BIEBER.
Fang: Ok then...What about the claims of Fanfiction Idea Stealing?
Me: I am aware that parts of this could be a bit far-fetched, but I'm going to mention this stuff anyway. The Fang Bangers go to a Comic Con? MangaFlock. Eggy? Avian Flu. Fang's Gang? No Longer Hatchlings. (Maya = Lark. Ratchet = Toby.) Like I said, it's far-fetched, but there are mild comparisons. If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the fics and see what you can figure out for yourself.
Fang: All J.P. needs to do is mention Justin, and you can go on the offensive.
Me: :D Hell yeah...
Fang: So...How about pairings? Hope or no?
Me: Let's start with an easy one. Iggy and Ella. I think there could be hope for these two. I have the funniest feeling we haven't seen the last of Ella. What will happen when she turns up again, no idea.
By the way, another theory. I seriously think J.P. might've just stuck these two together to discourage the Figgy fans. It's a thought, at least.
Fang: Maya and I. Let's face it, it's a distinct possibility. She ISN'T just another Max. But she is a lot like her. The old her. The one I first fell for. I think the pairing's likely...From one end at least. I think I'll end up making a move. Question is...How will Maya react?
(You know...It's kinda weird talking about...Myself...)
Me: Max and Dylan. J.P. is really pushing it. It seems like it will be the pairing that the series ends with. However, maybe I'm just being optimistic, but I don't think this pairing is set in stone yet. I would not completely give up hope on Fax. It could turn around yet, especially if enough fans throw fits...
Fang: And, that leaves us with Fax.
Me: Fang and Max. Is there hope for these two? I sure hope so. There is a LOAD of opposition, and I really think J.P. is trying to get us to let go of the 'Max and Fang' idea. The biggest note was how Dylan and Fang kind of got along near the end. It was a kind of...Acceptance. I think Fax may truly be gone for good. But then again, I've been surprised before. There were a couple little points where I thought maybe, maybe... I can dream, right? And, like I said, J.P. can be quite the sell-out. If enough fans throw fits, Fax may return. I don't know, though. For now, all I can say is...At least it can live on in Fanfiction.
Just one more point.
Fang: What?
Me: Avian Flu, though I have tried to get it to at least kind of follow along with the book, will never switch from Fax to Mylan. Never.
Fang: Good to know.
Me: And now, one final book prediction.
I honestly am thinking J.P. may...End the world. I'm seeing an apocolypse in the last book. I'm seeing destruction. Chaos. I'm seeing the human race being depleted, the mutants slowing taking over, Dr. Xavier adding a couple additions onto his school...
I'm seeing it all go out with a bang.
And it ain't gonna be pretty, folks.
So, to sum it all up, I bet you're wondering...All in all, what did we think?
Fang: Let's start by saying, it was better than The Final Warning.
Me: Fang, everything is better than The Final Warning.
Fang: True.
Me: Well, it wasn't...Horrible. I don't know how to put it. It was both an improvement and a mess. I like it and can't stand it. I think, if J.P. keeps up the work, he may be able to end the series without it being a complete fail. He's just got to stick with an idea rather than jumping around so much.
But... It's just not the old Maximum Ride. It's not the Flock like they used to be. Back when I was fourteen and looking for something to relate to. When I was seventeen and needed that extra shove. Then, there was Maximum Ride. Now... Well, change happens. The series couldn't just go down the same old route forever.
And now, it's ending.
I know there's been debate about the series. I've hung around on both sides of the fence. For a while lately, I was on the side of ending the series. I thought it had gone on too long and J.P. was just writing for the money. And, at times, I still think that. But now, as it really is coming to a close...
I wish it wouldn't.
Less face the facts, people. I've lived and breathed this series for years. I've come to love these characters. Enough to kidnap one, even. This series gave me my start in writing. Because of Maximum Ride, doors have been opened for me that never would have. I've met amazing people merely through being such a part of this fanbase. I don't know what my life would be if I hadn't sat down in Study Hall and written the first chapter of MangaFlock. A lot less interesting, definitely.
The end of the series is the end of an era. It's...Sad. The fanbase will still be here, and Fanfictions will still thrive, I'm sure. But, without a new book in our future...What will happen then?
Besides looking forward to...The movie. (Did anyone else notice that Robert Pattinson's name was mentioned in the book? Honestly, J.P.?)
I don't know. The only thing I can say is that, with every ending, there is usually a new beginning waiting to happen. What will that be? I don't know. For some people, the end of the series may merely mean moving on to the next thing. Or re-reading and writing. But for those of us who have lived and breathed it, those insane few, we've gotta start figuring out where we go from here.
I'm not sure what my next step will be, but, if I may quote a Shania Twain song I love...
It can only go Up from here.
Don't wanna see you go, but it's not forever, not forever.
Even if it was, ya know that I would never let it get me down.
'Cause you're a part of me that makes me better wherever I go
And I will try not to cry, but no one needs to say goodbye.
Fang: So, after that review, we realized that...This isn't much of a poetry corner.
Me: Also, after the seriousness of the last book, combined with my parting final words above..Damn, we need some humor.
Fang: So, we give to you...The return of Poetry.
Second to last ANGEL has been.
Next thing we'll see is The End.
The series will go out, but so will we
With the biggest bang that will ever be!
Me: Let's get some good old fashioned Poetry Corner stuff here!
I think Dylan would be better
If he and Maya were together
Dylan and Maya would make 'Daya'
And would make Mylan Die-a!
Fang: Well, if we're discussing Dill-Weed...
Dylan's face makes me want to gag
I could find more beauty in an old hag
A face that could only be induced by Avian fever
Looks a lot like Justin Bieber.
Spiffy: Let us in on this!
Pooky: Yeah, we haven't made an appearance in a while!
Me: Hop to it, boys!
The good thing Dylan and Max hath wrought
Is a pairing our Lady hath sought.
With Maximum clearly out of the way
We can validate Saint and Fang's wedding day!
Fang: ...Or not.
Me: Guys, leave Fang alone...
Spiffy: Oh, that's it! CODY!
Cody: We're staging an intervention.
Me: Right now?
Pooky: Yes, now. Let's face the facts, you two.
Fang: What facts?
Cody: You asked...
There's more going on than meets the eye
With the magician and the boy in the sky
Out of reach of J.P.'s unscrupulous mind
There's more than an average friendship to find.
Fang: I think I know where this is going...
Me: Me, too... -glares-
Spiffy: You sleep in the same bed!
Pooky: You go everywhere together!
Cody: You have the same interests!
Spiffy: You can finish each other's sentences!
Pooky: You're always in tune with each other'e feelings!
Cody: YOU'RE BRAINWASHED ANDROIDS!
Spiffy and Pooky: -glare-
Cody: Heh...Or, ya know, you're just so danged cute with each other!
Me: -groan-
Fang: -facepalm-
Spiffy: Look, either you guys are totally into each other...
Pooky: Or we're seriously worried about your mental health.
Spiffy: I mean, we are anyway, but this is a whole different level.
Me: ...Are you trying to tell me to...Date Fang?
Pooky: Why not? He's now available. Officially.
Spiffy: And he's, well, always here.
Pooky: I mean, the way you two act, YOU could be HIS 'perfect other half', Saint.
Spiffy: Yes! That's a great idea! Make Saint canon!
Me: ...There is no way I'm supporting that. That would be the single greatest way to look just like Adam, with an ego the size of Alaska.
Pooky: Face it, it fits...
Fang: It does NOT fit! That's like saying Saint is the female form of Dylan.
Me: EW! EW! EW! I AM NOT JUSTINA BIEBER!
Spiffy: Just compare your relationship to Dylan and Max's.
Do you finish each other's sentences? Yes.
Does one of you complain saying he/she dislikes the other? Yes.
But yet, do you still spend insane amounts of time together? Yes.
Does the other use humor and sarcasm to constantly try to get the other's attention, even if it means annoying the other? Yes.
Does that same person openly have a crush on the other? Yes.
Cuddle up to each other for no known reason? Yes.
One has seemed to grow on the other over time? Yes.
Protective of each other? Yes.
Can work together like you're one perfect unit? Yes.
Have had people write Fanfictions about your possible relationship? Yes.
Have a pairing name for your relationship? Yes.
Have-
Fang: WE GET IT!
Me: Still, that doesn't mean a thing. Well, except that I may have found another thing J.P. could possibly rip off from me...
Fang: Ok, so the friendship that Saint and I have has...similarities.
Me: But that doesn't mean I'm his 'perfect other half'.
Fang: And, Hell, even if it did, that wouldn't mean anything.
Me: 'Cause it's not like I'm going to start singing to Fang and sticking rosebuds in his face.
Fang: And I'm not going to be mooning over Saint anytime soon.
Me: Or running off to have babies with him.
Fang: In a cabin.
Me: Or in a box.
Fang: Or with a fox.
Me: Or with a mouse.
Fang: Or in a house.
Me: I would not do him here or there.
Fang: I would not do her anywhere.
Both: We are not perfect matches, Sam I Am...PSYCH!
Spiffy: They just finished each other's sentences and spoke in unison...
Pooky: To prove they're not perfect matches. That worked well...-eyeroll-
Me: Hey, we've known each other a while now. It happens.
Fang: You guys are reading way too much into us...
Me: Trust me, I don't need a relationship intervention, guys.
Spiffy: Hey, Saint, we're just saying. You're not exactly big on the dating scene, so this could be your chance. I mean, it's either this, or you could always do like that anonymous reviewer on Me, Max, and a Dog Kennel said and have Matt's babies.
Fang: o_0
Me: SPIF-
-please stand by-
THIS IS THE POETRY CORNER EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM.
PLEASE, DO NOT BE ALARMED. THERE HAS MERELY BEEN A DISTURBANCE IN THE SYSYEM. THE CAUSE HAS BEEN REPORTED TO BE A COMBINATION OF EXTREMELY VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, LOUD SWEARING, AND A SHORT CIRCUIT ON THE PROCESSING LEVELS OF SAINT'S BRAIN.
PLEASE, STAY SEATED AND REMAIN INDOORS. THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR PANIC. THE SYSTEM OPERATORS WILL HAVE THE CORNER FUNCTIONING SHORTLY. PLEASE STAY TUNED THROUGH THIS SHORT INTERMISSION UNTIL WE CAN SAFELY RETURN TO YOUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING.
-thank you for standing by-
Eliza: Welcome to intermission!
Cody: This is where we OCs hang out while we wait for Saint to need us or something...
Justin: Pretty cool digs we've got, too. Like our slushie machine, for instance.
Otto: But we've got so much more than that, here. While Saint and... -takes a quick look at a security camera monitor- Fang, it seems, team up to make Spiffy wish he'd never been born, we're going to do something that, well, could possibly put us in the same place as old Spif' down there, but is so worth it.
Cody: LEAK QUOTES!
Eliza: Leak quotes from...Well, a whole bunch of yet-to-be-published Saint work. Stories that haven't even been mentioned yet. Maybe even...The Angsty Fic...
-ooos and ahhhs- -les gasps-
Cody: So...Without further adieu...
From the Unpublished 'Celebrity Jeopardy' fic: Cinderella: Oh, I'll choose 'Skype Crew Members' for...400!
Fang: Joyous...
Amanda: -cough-Shameless Plug-cough-
Me: -kicks Amanda-
Fang: This Skype Crew Member is best known as 'The Damn Floridian'.
Harry: -buzzes in- VOLDEMORT!
Fang: Voldemort is not a Skype Crew Member...Nor does he reside in Florida.
Harry: That's what he wants you to think...
From an Unpublished fic merely marked 'Death of Brigid': "I know, I know. Left for our own good, blah, blah, blah. But look at what happens when you go off on your own. You stick bullets in people."
From an Unpublished Chapter of Fang's Journal: "You can too!" I yelled back. I was beginning to get a little upset here. Nervous. "You have to! If you keep me here, it's...It's...Kidnapping! That's what it is! I've been kidnapped!"
"You have not-" She started to say.
"Kidnapping!" I yelled out. "Kidnapper!"
She rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'm a kidnapper. Whatever helps you sleep at night."
From an Unpublished Fic labelled 'Mating Season': "Big Bird could be my daddy."
From the 'Murder Mystery Fic': "Head for the light!"
"Aren't we usually supposed to not 'go towards the light'?"
"I think this is different."
From an Unidentified Oneshot: "Welcome to the Afterlife, Fang, you're dead!"
From the One...The Only...The Angsty Fic: "Hmmmm...Let's see. You've found someone who'll pay big bucks for me? You have deluded yourself into thinking I'll help you with World Domination? You're a harmonica addict and you heard I play well?"
From...A Sequel Coming Soon to a Fanfiction Near You: "So, has she come up with a plan to plug up cow's butts so their farts won't pollute the earth yet?"
Eliza: Oh, we got the word! Intermission is over!
Otto: But thanks for tuning in!
Cody: Catch ya on the flip side!
-Now Back to Our Regular Programming-
Me: -banging head repeatedly against a wall-
Fang: Saint, I don't think that's helping.
Me: You wanna bet? -headwalls-
Fang: Saint...
Me: My OCs are staging interventions. -headwall- Anonymous reviewers are trying to get me knocked up. -headwall- Quotes from my stories are being leaked. -headwall- My most beloved series is coming to a close. -headwall- I have to work in the morning. -headwall- I have homework. -headwall- I think my tonsils are infected. -headwall-
Fang: ...You're kidding me.
Me: Or, I've got mono or something.
Fang: Or...You're cold just isn't completely gone yet.
Me: Hopefully...
Fang: We need to go to bed.
Me: Yeah...
Fang: ...
Me: ...
Fang: Heh...
Me: Yeah...
Fang: Mmhmm...
Me: OK! We've been sleeping in the same overlarge bed for over a year now. We will not start feeling awkward now!
Fang: Right.
Me: None of what they said means, well...
Fang: Anything.
Me: Nothing at all.
Fang: Nada.
Me: Zip.
Fang: Zilch.
-quietly staring at each other-
Me: We're duct taping Spiffy and Pooky's mouths.
Fang: Agreed.
-thunder booms-
Fang: ...That's starting to creep me out.
Me: Yeah...I may have crossed one too many fictional/non-fictional boundaries here...
Fang: Which means?
Me: We...Might have to call Mount Olympus for back-up. And the Cullens. Sparta. Possibly Seba Nile, Officer Morelli, and Lord Elrond, too.
Fang: ...Is freeing me really that bad?
Me: ...Could be. Never really thought about it. I mean, the world didn't implode when I brought you here in the first place, so I figured maybe the Powers That Be didn't care.
Fang: Could you have figured wrong?
Me: It happens now and again, I guess.
-thunder rumbles menacingly-
Me: Let's...Uhhh...Wrap this up so I can cast a protective spell around the house.
Fang: Crap...
R&R?