AN:- In the middle of rewatching all of Castle. i think Shepard is starting to sound like Beckett.

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Eye for an Eye

Since most civilised worlds required for the captain to be present while a ship was docking she found herself sharing the cockpit with Joker again as they flew into the Citadel. It wasn't that she minded, he was good company and focused enough on his work that the jokes weren't constant. But they had been kept in a waiting pattern for nearly a full nine hours, and she had to be present for all of it, just in case someone from Citadel traffic control called.

"I thought docking procedures were dull before," Joker commented for about the twelfth time. "I will never complain about a three hour wait time for a space on Omega."

"Sure you will Joker."

"Well, yeah. But it'll be ironic."

"And what exactly would the difference between ironic complaining and real complaining be?"

"Well you won't be in the cockpit to hear the ironic complaining for one thing."

"And thus the noble pilot Joker neatly avoids another incoming logic missile."

"What I do best."

She grinned and went back to her reading. Being trapped in a seven foot square box for hours on end required a vast array of things to do. Joker had spent most of the time with one ear piece in watching tv shows on one of the screens. She didn't bother to comment on it. Although strictly speaking it was against regs every pilot she knew did it during long wait periods, and particularly with EDI there monitoring incoming transmissions there was no chance of their missing anything.

"Whatcha reading, oh captain my captain?"

"Treasure Island."

"Huh. Never read it myself."

"My father had a copy, back on Mindoir. He used to read it to us when we were little."

"Ah."

She could tell he was curious, but too respectful to outright ask.

"Life on Mindoir was pretty old fashioned," she said, putting the book aside. "Some of the colonies are high tech; others of them are based on old-Earth values. Some people came out to the Rim to get away from what they saw as a human culture getting away from the things that actually mattered, others were there for the adventure or the romance of it all."

"There's nothing romantic about colony life. I should know, my family lives out on Tiptree."

"Well my mother and father liked the idea of living off the sweat of their own backs. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that some of the colonies have very limited resources. So they don't have vids for entertainment, and even if they did most people would be working more often than enjoying it. So my parents had books which they would read to us. Treasure Island was one of those books."

"That's nice."

"It was."

"Still not sure I'd take the old fashioned way of life. I like being able to live and walk around without breaking everything in me."

"Fair point."

The comm. blinked and he leaned in to answer it. After a few seconds of back and forth with the operator he sat back and adjusted their course, bringing them down to the wards.

/|\

The Citadel was just as she remembered it, although the adverts had changed in the time since they last docked. Apparently they were releasing movies about Blasto the Hanar Spectre now. She shook her head at that as she and Garrus made their way through customs. Apparently Garrus felt the same way.

"I thought it might be nice to come back and see how it's changed. But it's just the same."

"No rose tinted glasses for you?"

"Being security here is a terrible job." The scanners didn't pick anything up and they were able to go through. "I'm glad I left."

On the other side Shepard walked up to Captain Bailey's desk. They had already discussed their options for finding Garrus' contact, and despite his protests she had insisted on talking to Bailey first. She had a feeling he would be more than happy to help.

"Commander Shepard, how nice to see you again. What rules can I help you bend this time?"

She grinned at that, wishing it was a little less true. "I'm trying to find a local forger that goes by the name of Fade."

"Yeah, I know him. The alias anyway. He's been a thorn in the Network Division's side for the last year. He works with the Blue Suns."

Perfect. "Where can we find him?"

"Ha, if I knew that he'd be in a cell. Best I can do is put you on the trail." She got the feeling Bailey was glad she had asked. "There's a warehouse in the marketplace. Some of Fade's contacts work out of there. Go ask them some questions, gently of course."

"Why haven't you been able to catch him?"

Bailey shrugged. "Whoever he is he's damn good at avoiding C-Sec. I think someone on the inside's feeding him information. Either that or he's got access to our databases and comm. channels. I don't know which is worse. But you're outside C-Sec, maybe you can nail his ass." And her suspicions were confirmed. No job too dirty for a SPECTRE after all.

She nodded to him and followed Garrus as he led the way down to the warehouse. "I thought you worked the Presidium?" She asked as they passed the street vendors.

"Every cop has to do time in the Wards. Most of the Presidium crime is white collar anyway. But down here in the Wards you can have murders, burglary, mugging. This is where the real work gets done."

The warehouse was all but deserted, and as soon as they walked through the door the few people she pegged as civilians cleared out in a hurry. Two krogans stayed right where they were though, staring her down. She met the aggressive look evenly. They were street heavies, not armoured mercs or battlemasters.

A volus walked out from behind a crate with what she could only describe as a swagger. He stepped in between the krogan and turned to face her."

"Fade?" She kept her tone neutral, just in case. "You're not quite how I imagined you."

"Looks can be deceiving." It was like a poor man's Barla Von. That had been a really connected volus. This guy was playacting at something. "So which one of you wants to disappear?"

"I'd rather see you make someone reappear."

"Ah." Most of the bluster went in the space of a syllable. "That's not the service we provide." And he was already saying 'we' instead of 'I.' She shook her head. Master spy this guy was not.

Garrus pressed. "Make an exception, just this once."

"Damn it, quick." He looked back to the krogan, who drew shotguns. Shepard didn't even bother to draw, fixing the biggest with a stare. "Shoot them, shoot them you lumbering mountains."

"Why don't you two find somewhere else to skulk." Garrus said. It wasn't a question, and they didn't take it as such, lowering their guns and stomping past and out of the warehouse.

The volus huffed. "Just like that? You're not getting paid for this." He turned back to Shepard and Garrus and gave them an apologetic shrug. "What's the point of hiring protection if they won't protect you?"

"We're looking for someone, a client of yours."

"Not mine." He held his hands up and managed to shake his whole body in an emphatic no. "I'm not Fade. I just work for him. Sort of."

I knew it.

Garrus knelt in front of him, still looking just as imposing. "Well then maybe you'd like to tell us where to find him."

"Yes, of course. He's in the Factory District. Works out of the old prefab foundry."

"I know the place."

"Uh, he's got a lot of mercs there." Apparently loyalty wasn't one of this guy's strong suits either. Shepard wondered just who Fade was that he hired such incompetents but stayed ahead of the law. "Blue Suns, Harkin thinks they're protecting him."

Garrus growled, startling the volus. "Harkin."

The name rang a bell for her, but she was more focused on the other issue. "What do the Blue Suns have to do with this?" Bailey had mentioned them working together, but that didn't usually mean an armed guard for a low-level paper-pusher.

"They use his services, to help their people infiltrate businesses and various organisations here on the Citadel."

Garrus stood back up and marched back to her. "Bastard, he's using C-Sec to help those scum."

"No no no, well not really. He got fired from C-Sec a while ago. But he still knows the business." That clicked the name into place for her. Harkin, the first human in C-Sec. Obviously not so necessary after the amount of humans needed to fill the ranks after Sovereign's attack.

"Interesting, but it changes nothing." Garrus looked to her. "We still need to find him before we can get to Sidonis."

"Well let's go pay Harkin a visit."

"We'll need to go to the transit station. I can get us to him from there."

She nodded and was about to leave when the volus spoke up again.

"So I uh, I can go?"

Garrus gave his biggest crocodile grin. "Sure. But if we don't find Harkin we'll be back for you."

"Oh. Good."

As they left Shepard kept an eye on him. He had always been somewhat loose with the rules but it hadn't sounded like an empty threat he just issued. They needed to talk, before he got Sidonis in his sights.

/|\

The factory district was about what she had expected. Big warehouses, dozens of crates stacked all around. A perfect ambush spot or perfect cover for the two of them. Garrus parked the shuttlecab and marched out like he didn't care about the armed Blue Suns mercs coming towards them. Shepard got a hand to her pistol and followed him.

A man came out of the warehouse behind the mercs, examining a data pad and frowning. Garrus tensed when he saw him.

"There he is."

The man looked up and his eyes widened. "Shepard?" The Blue Suns were drawing their guns, but holding fire as they waited for orders. "Don't just stand there, stop them. Stop them!" he turned and sprinted back into the warehouse as Shepard drew and fired in one swift motion, her bullet punching clean through one man's neck joint before she took the second in the flank.

"Run all you want Harkin." Garrus drew his assault rifle and unfolded it. "We'll find you!"

They were two steps behind him when he punched at his datapad and one of the crates opened, revealing half a dozen LOKI mechs. Shepard skidded to cover as Garrus raked assault rifle fire across them. She primed an incendiary charge and lobbed it in, blasting them to bits.

They took off running again, but Harkin had given them the slip. They slowed and started to shift from cover to cover, working together flawlessly to keep the angles covered. There were a few more LOKI mechs that posed no problem to them and they came quickly to another warehouse, exactly the same as the first.

"Harkin's in here somewhere, I can smell him."

She put a hand on Garrus' forearm but he shook her off. "Let's just keep moving."

There were Blue Suns in the second warehouse, backed by mechs, but it was a paltry resistance. It took them less than five minute to cross to where a bridge separated a third warehouse area. Garrus had the same fixed look on his face, but he refused to even look at her as they moved into the area.

A hail of bullets welcomed them and Shepard glanced inside to see a much larger force of Blue Suns being led by a batarian in their commander's stripes. She shook her head and drew the Widow off her back, stepping out and finding him immediately in her scope. She put a bullet through the commander's insignia on his chest and ducked back as he dropped.

Without their commander the Blue Suns were momentarily uncoordinated and between the Anti-Material rifle and Garrus' assault rifle they dropped the entire force in seconds.

"He's gotta have something more up his sleeve," Garrus muttered as they saw a door on the far side of the warehouse. "What the hell is he up to?"

Through the door there was a control room, several computers and shipping manifests on the desks. Shepard opened up the computer and got to work on breaking through the firewalls.

"You worked with Harkin at C-Sec," she said as she worked.

"Yeah. He was a pain in the ass back then too. But I'm in no mood for his games. If he doesn't cooperate I'll beat him within an inch of his life."

She glanced up to see him leaning up against the window. "You seem to be getting tense Garrus."

"Harkin may know why Sidonis wanted to disappear. If so he knows why we're here, and I don't want him tipping Sidonis off." The metal plates in front of the window retracted and she looked up just in time to see a dark shape moving across the space beyond. Garrus ducked for cover. "Did you see that?"

She peered out from behind the computer, pulling her submachine gun. "I saw something."

"He's getting ready for us." Garrus moved to the door, assault rifle in hand. "Come on."

"Garrus wait."

"We really don't have time for this Shepard."

"Make time." She stayed out of sight as she moved over to him. "What are we doing here Garrus?"

"Getting the information out of Harkin."

"You know what I meant Garrus. Is he leaving under his own power?"

"That depends on how quickly he gives up the information. He's a coward Shepard, he'll break easily."

She gritted her teeth and slapped her helmet control, opening the door at the same time. They rolled to cover, Shepard taking in the room as she went. There were LOKI mechs and Blue Suns, but in nowhere near the numbers they had been earlier. She rested her submachine gun on the crate she was ducked behind and opened up, watching the bullets overload the shields. Garrus was waiting for the opening, and took out all the mercs with a single heat sink.

Harkin's voice sounded over the speaker system. "Nice try Garrus. I'm not going away that easy."

She found the window in the opposite wall, Harkin just behind it working some sort of console. Overhead the mechanical rails started moving, half a dozen crates hanging from magnetic clamps. Two other shapes detached and dropped to the floor, denting the metal on impact.

Garrus dropped back to her cover. "Mechs," he snarled.

"We can't take out two mechs, not without help."

"Commander."

"EDI?"

"I have been monitoring your communications and have a suggestion."

The ground shook as the mechs marched in unison towards them. "Let's have it, and quickly."

"The crates above are for transporting CL-20 for use in asteroid belt mining."

"The point EDI."

"Analysis indicates the CL-20 is being hot-stored for transportation."

"Got it." She turned to Garrus. "Explosives in the crates hot-stored." She switched to her rifle and aimed for one of the clamps, putting a round into it.

The crate dropped just behind the mechs, exploding on impact. The fire blast caught her shields as it blew over them, followed swiftly by the shockwave. Her teeth rattled in her head and she fought to get upright again.

One of the mechs was down and sparking, but the second was still standing, one arm hanging loose but the machine gun still blazing. She ducked behind cover again and cycled the action. Before she could find another crate Garrus fired and another massive explosion rippled over them, knocking her down again. The mech was down though, in bits inside a hole in the floor.

Shepard ran for the control room, trusting Garrus to follow. She came through the door with her pistol up and trained on Harkin. He was making for another door on the far side of the room. "You were close," he said. "But not eno-argh!"

Garrus had appeared through the door he wanted to escape through, grabbing Harkin by the neck and slamming him against the wall.

"So Fade," Garrus had a smile on his face, one she had never seen him make before. It looked twisted. "Couldn't make yourself disappear huh?"

To his credit, Harkin didn't flinch. "Come on Garrus, we can work this out. Whaddya need?"

"I'm looking for someone."

Garrus dropped him and holstered his pistol. Harkin brushed himself off and spread his arms. "Well I guess we both have something the other one wants."

Garrus whipped round and slammed his knee up between Harkin's legs. The man made an odd squeaking sound and dropped to the floor, curling into a ball. Shepard lowered her gun as well and stepped over, waiting until he had stopped moaning.

"We're not here to ask favours Harkin."

"You don't say." He crawled up the wall, one hand still covering his groin.

"You helped a friend of mine disappear. I need to find him."

"I might need a little more information than that."

"His name was Sidonis. Turian, came from the-"

"I know who he is. And I'm not telling you squat."

Garrus moved forwards, but stepped back at a look from her. She turned to Harkin and smiled.

"Harkin, this doesn't have to be hard."

"Screw you. I don't give out client information, it's bad for business."

Garrus grabbed him before she could stop him, throwing him to the floor and stepping on him. "You know what else is bad for business?" He sounded calm. Way too calm for what he was doing. "A broken neck."

"All right, all right, get off me."

Garrus didn't move. She stepped forwards and gripped his arm hard. When he looked back his eyes blazed, but he backed down almost at once.

"Terminus really changed you, huh Garrus?" Harkin got back up again, massaging his throat.

"No. But Sidonis." He looked to Shepard, then back again. "Opened my eyes. Now arrange a meeting."

Harkin looked like he might protest more, but Shepard glared at him and he looked to the floor. "I'm going."

As he made the call Shepard kept a close eye on Garrus, who was looking worse and worse.

"Yeah it's me. There's a chance your identity might be compromised." Someone on the other end of the call chattered. "That's why I'm calling. I'm sending an agent. Where do you want to meet?" More chatter. "All right, he'll be there. Don't worry, I got it covered. It's all good." He signed off and turned to the two of them, smiling broadly. "He wants to meet you in front of Orbital Lounge. Middle of the day. So if our business is done, I'll be going."

Garrus had drawn his pistol when Shepard wasn't looking. "I don't think so. You're a criminal now Harkin." He stepped forwards and grabbed Harkin by the lapel.

Harkin sneered at him. "So what? You're just going to kill me? That's not your style Garrus."

"Kill you? No." He stepped back. "But I don't mind slowing you down a little."

He snapped the pistol up, aiming for Harkin's knee. Shepard grabbed his arm and shoved it away, the round going into the wall. "You don't need to shoot him. He won't be able to hide from C-Sec now."

Garrus struggled against her for a moment, then subsided. "I guess it's your lucky day," he said to Harkin.

"Yeah. I hope we can do this again real soon."

She could probably have stopped him. At least afterwards she thought she could have. He stepped past her and slammed his head into Harkin, hard enough to break the skin. Harkin dropped, unconscious.

Garrus turned and walked past her. "I didn't shoot him."

"Let's just get out of here."

"Sidonis better be there, or I'm coming back to finish the job."

/|\

He waited until they were in the shuttle on the way back before he spoke again. "Harkin's a bloody menace. We shouldn't have just let him go, he deserved to be punished."

"Just stop it Garrus."

"Stop, what?"

"This Dirty Harry routine. It's not you."

"What do you want from me Shepard? What would you do if someone betrayed you?"

"I wouldn't let it change me, that's for sure."

"I would've said the same thing before it happened to me."

They had landed now, and he stepped out to survey the layout. "It's not too late," she said, getting out behind him. "You don't have to go through with this."

He wheeled round and glared down at her, "Who's going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't? Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else cares." She held her ground until he backed away a step. "I don't see any other options."

"Let me talk to him."

"Talk all you want but it won't change my mind. I don't care what his reasons were. He screwed us. He deserves to die."

"I understand what you're going through. But do you really want to kill him?" She almost couldn't believe what she was hearing from him.

"I appreciate your concern. But I'm not you."

"But this isn't you either."

"Really? I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this? Why should he go on living while ten good men lie in unmarked graves?" Some of the exhaustion she had seen in him seemed to come back. Before she could say anything he turned away to look at the lounge. "I'm sorry Shepard. Words aren't going to solve this problem. I need to set up. I can get a clear shot from over there."

She felt resolve settling in herself as well. "What do you need me to do?"

"Keep him talking and don't get in my way. I'll let you know when he's in my sights. Give me a signal so I know you're ready and I'll take the shot. You'd better go, he'll be here soon."

She left him up on the walkway as she headed down to the street level. Almost at once her earpiece crackled. "Shepard, can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear."

"All right there he is." She looked to the only turian on the street, sitting on a bench outside. "Wave him over and keep him talking."

She raised a hand and caught Sidonis' attention. "Let's just get this over with."

Guessing roughly what Garrus' line of sight would be she shifted slightly as Sidonis came into view. "You're in my shot, move to the side."

She ignored him. "Listen Sidonis, I'm here to help you."

The turian leaned in close, looking scared. She shifted her head to keep it between Sidonis and Garrus. "Don't ever say that name aloud."

"I'm a friend of Garrus'. He wants you dead, but I'm hoping that's not necessary."

Sidonis stepped back. "Garrus? Is this some kind of joke?"

"Dammit Shepard if he moves I'm taking the shot."

She took a breath and tried to hold Sidonis' eyes. He recognised the sincerity in her eyes. "You're not kidding are you?" He looked around, a little wild-eyed. "Screw this; I'm not sticking around to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems."

He turned to leave and for a moment she realised he was in the line of fire. She stepped close enough that they were practically hugging and hissed into his ear. "Don't move."

He tried to get away but she grabbed his arms. "Get off me."

"I'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head."

His defiance left him and he dropped his head. "Fuck. Look, I didn't want to do it. But I didn't have a choice."

Garrus could clearly hear him over the comm. unit. "Everyone has a choice."

"They got to me, said they'd kill me if I didn't help. What was I supposed to do?" She resisted the urge to tell him he should have resisted. It was too late to change his actions, but she could hope to change Garrus'.

"Let me take the shot Shepard, he's a damn coward."

She tried to ignore the prickling on her neck from where she knew Garrus' crosshairs would be focused. She forced herself to stay calm. "You were just trying to save yourself?"

"I know what I did. I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that." He started to walk, aimlessly. "I wake up every night sick, and sweating. Each of their faces staring at me. Accusing me." He came to a rest against some railings, hanging his head down. "I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days, I just want it to be over."

"Just give me the chance."

She turned and found the glint of his scope. "You've got to let it go Garrus, he's already paying for his crime."

"He hasn't paid enough, he still has his life."

She stepped forward, certain he now had his shot. She just had to hope that Garrus was focusing on her. "Look at him Garrus, he's not alive. There's nothing left to kill."

"My men." She could imagine his face now, and wished she was talking to him properly. "They deserved better."

Sidonis looked over to her. "Tell Garrus…" He dropped his head again. "I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right."

She stared at the glint of the scope, praying. "Just…" The glint disappeared and she breathed again. "Go. Tell him to go."

Trying to calm herself down again she turned to Sidonis. "He's giving you a second chance Sidnois. Don't waste it."

"I'll try." He looked up to where Shepard had been staring. "Garrus, I'll make it up to you somehow." He held out a hand to Shepard. It was shaking badly. "Thank you for talking to him."

She nodded and he turned to walk away, and everything about him looked broken.

Back on the walkway Garrus was sitting by the shuttle, resting his head against his upright rifle.

"I know you wanna talk about this. But I don't. Not yet."

"I know it didn't go the way you planned. But I think it's for the best."

"I'm not so sure."

"Give it time."

"Yeah. Maybe that'll be enough. I wanna know I did the right thing, not for me, but for my men. They deserved to be avenged. But when Sidonis was in my sights I just couldn't do it."

"The lines between good and evil blur when we're looking at people we know." Not that there's any irony in that statement right now.

"Yeah. There was still good in him. I could see it. So much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey. I don't know what to do with grey."

She sat down next to him. "You have got to go with your instincts."

"My instincts are what got me into this mess."

"Don't be too hard on yourself."

He was silent for a little longer, then turned to smile at her. It was weary, but it was real. "Thanks Shepard, for everything. Let's get going, I need some distance from this place."

AN:-Once more I changed some of the lines to better reflect my characterisation of their relationship over the game. Obviously the game has to accommodate both a close relationship and just an acquaintance, which obviously doesn't fit when I'm writing a novel of it.

I quite like writing Shepard and Joker. Especially with new fun-having Shepard. The stuff about Mindoir isn't backed up by canon at all but it's something I've often wondered about. There's lot of specifics about colonies which are never explored, so I'm mostly free to make stuff up. In the previous book I also had Shepard talk about her colony promoting heteronormative values because fertility treatments are expensive so they prefer people to make more generations the old fashioned way. The Treasure Island stuff is partly because I really like Treasure Island, and partly because of a Star Trek novel I have where it plays a part. (the novel is The Pandora Principle by Carolyn Clowes, and it's very good, I recommend it if you can find it)

In the first novelisation my Shepard never spoke to Harkin, thus there's no way to call back. So I made it more of a general knowledge thing. She knows the first human in C-Sec's name, but little else.