Chapter Thirty Eight

And It Feels Like the End

Although Sirius Black could not stop smiling on the way out of the station, by the time Christmas rolled around, the smile seemed to be thrown onto the ground and crumpled up so thoroughly it was rather difficult to find it.

While Remus was fully enjoying the aftereffects of his prank and a delicious Hogwarts dinner, James was playing Quidditch with a couple of his cousins, and Peter was unwrapping presents with his parents and playing with his baby sister, Sirius was at 12 Grimmauld Place, quite possibly one of the worst places to spend Christmas, with the people who were definitely the worst people to spend Christmas with: his family.

As was traditional, Kreacher prepared an enormous and delicious meal. Aunt Druscilla and Uncle Cygnus were invited, as well as Narcissa and Bellatrix. Sirius's blood boiled with anger at the thought that Andromeda's chair would be empty for the first time in ages, as long as he could possibly remember and probably before that.

At ten of seven on December 25th, Sirius was sprawled across his bed, staring blankly at a book that James had sent him for a gift, entitled The Chuddley Cannons – Defeats, Losses, and Everything You'd Want to Know, and Some Things You Wouldn't. It was a very good book, and he was perfectly happy to spend all of Christmas up there.

His plans were foiled.

"Sirius?" Regulus peered into his room. "You have to come down now."

Sirius sighed. "Who says?"

"Mum, Dad, and Kreacher."

Sirius heaved a sigh.

"And you have to put on your good dress robes."

Sirius groaned. "Reeeegggiee..."

Regulus groaned. "Siriii.."

They both sighed.

"Might as well get on with it," said Sirius. He trudged to his closet, put on his best robes, and he and Regulus began walking downstairs to a Dinner of Torture.

–

Sirius was seated at one end of the table, next to his mother and in front of a huge platter of cooked fish. Regulus was seated on the other end, next to his father and in front of a huge platter of chicken.

"Life," muttered Sirius, poking holes in his creamy mashed potatoes, "is not good."

For a few hours, Sirius's parents, aunt, and uncle, while Sirius stabbed at his food, fuming, Regulus fidgeted, and Bellatrix and Narcissa murmured to each other. It was a deeply boring stage in the life of Sirius Orion Black.
The food was good, though.

At about ten o'clock, when a considerable amount of food and wine had been consumed, the conversation turned to – of course – Sirius.

"Regulus is turning out to be a fine boy, Wally," said Aunt Druscilla, setting down a mug of wine. "Yes, a very fine boy indeed...going to be a Slytherin, surely?" She turned sharply to Regulus. "Am I correct?"

"Y-yes, Aunty," squeaked Regulus. Sirius shot him a glare. Regulus gave him an apologetic look.

"Regulus is my heart's apple," announced Sirius's mum, hiccuping. "Now, my other son.." She sent a sharp look at Sirius, who clenched his fists and resisted the urge to upturn his water glass on his mother.

"Sirius is quite a disappointment to us," said Orion coolly, and Sirius was temporarily shocked into silence. His father never spoke.

"That's a bit of an understatement," boasted Walburga. "Sirius is a horrible, ungrateful little ingrate who dared to desert his family and be Sorted into Gryffindor. And do you know who Sirius has been associating with?"

Rage was building in Sirius. He clenched his hands tighter. She's only trying to wind you up, said a voice in his head that sounded remarkably like James. Don't take the bait.

"Who?" asked Aunt Druscilla in a hushed voice.

Sirius's mum looked around impressively at the table for a moment, eyes lingering on Sirius, taking relish in her son's pain the way a mother never, ever should, and finally said, in a voice as if she was uttering a loathed insect – "The Potters."

There was a dead silence at first. Then, as if rehearsed, Narcissa uttered a loud, dramatic gasp. "The Potters! The biggest family of blood traitors since – since – why, they are the biggest family of blood traitors!"

Come, Andromeda, Sirius found himself begging. Come save me.

"Yes," said Walburga solemnly. "I cannot express how depressed I am.."

Come, James. Come, Remus. Come, Peter. Save me. From this madness.

But, of course, it was wishful thinking. No sooner would James, Remus, and Peter come through the door would they be killed, probably. Sirius wouldn't put it past anyone sitting at the table, except possibly Reg.

"Ridiculous," proclaimed Bellatrix. "And, although many do not know this..I happened to be speaking to Slughorn last year and he told me some most curious things.."

The glint in Bellatrix's eye made Sirius feel extremely uneasy. "Bella.." he croaked.

"Oh yes, very curious," went on Bellatrix, as if Sirius had not spoken. "Something concerning you, in fact, Sirius..something you happened to mention to Horace Slughorn around Christmas of last year.."

Sirius thought hard back to last year. Then it hit him.

Are you going home, my lad?
Hogwarts is my home. 12 Grimmauld isn't and never will be.

"Bellatrix – "said Sirius desperately, "Bellatrix, please – "

"And Slughorn told me a most funny thing," said Bellatrix loudly. "He told me that Sirius told him that – "

"Bellatrix!"

"That 12 Grimmauld Place – his home, of course – "

"BELLA! PLEASE!"

"Go on, Bellatrix," said Walburga in a deadly quiet tone of voice.

Bellatrix smiled. "Sirius, apparently, said that 12 Grimmauld Place was not his home, that it never would be, and that Hogwarts was his true home."

Sirius closed his eyes.

"Is this true?" asked Sirius's mum in the same horrible quiet voice. "Did you bring even more shame to the House of Black by telling people that you were unhappy at home?"

Sirius remained silent, his friends' voices echoing in his heads, but he couldn't make out what were saying.

"Sirius..Orion..Black. Answer me."

When she calls you Orion, it doesn't matter, because you're not Sirius Orion Black to us. To us, you're Sirius, the idiot Marauder.

"Yes, Mother dearest, I did. And that was because I was taught, not by you, but by the people I care about, the people who care for me, that lying was wrong." He paused. "Unless we're talking about pranks here. Or homework excuses. Those don't count."

There were ten seconds of silence, and then..

The next few minutes passed in quite a bit of chaos and no one, not even those who, like me, have dedicated themselves to finding out as much about the Marauders as possible and making up what they can't figure out, has been able to work out exactly what went on. There was a considerable amount of yelling from either side of the dinner table, much use of the words blood traitor, mudblood, hate, get out, now, and it ultimately ended...

..with a very large, smelly, not all the way cooked, slimy, cold, fish slapped against Bellatrix Dracina Black's face.

There was another silence, but this one was more shocked than anything else, and it was much longer.

Sirius held the only uncooked fish from the basket in his hand, trembling from head to foot. Practically semi-consciously, he began jotting off a will in his mind.

My socks will all go to Peter, my pranks will all go to James, my books will all go to Moony, the Animgus research I've done so far will also go to James, my room will go to Reggie...

I'm going to DIE.

Well, at least I got to slap Bellatrix with a fish.

For a quarter of second, he let his focus on Bellatrix. She had a wet spot sprawled all the way across her face, and looked absolutely horrified.

I'll die happy, I think.

Walburga Black's face was growing redder and redder, a genuine fury building up before her eyes. But not nearly as furious as the fury in Bellatrix's eyes. And the way she held her wand.

That is not gonna be worth what's coming.

All right. Maybe a little.

A/N: Woo, I'm back! And this includes fish-slapping! :D