Dammit, Season 3! You really are getting experimental, aren't you...
PROLOGUE
As the PA system announced the departure times, I downed the entire bottle in one go. "Wow! This is the most delicious thing I've ever drank. What is it?"
"Orange juice," Officer Amelie said.
"Uh, it's not. I've had orange juice. This stuff that I am about to buy a gallon of is a bajillion times better."
"Non, Monsieur Big, you have had what you ztupid Americanz dizhonestly call orange juice, but iz really zugar water flavored wizz orange zyrup. Zee rest of zee world drinks juice from an orange. What zee fuck iz a 'gallon?'"
"It's like your liter, except 3.78541178 times more enjoyable." I couldn't help but longingly sigh at Amelie's spiteful attitude. I couldn't believe this was finally happening. Just to be sure I wasn't dreaming, I double-checked that my plane ticket back home was still tucked into my pocket. After all this time, the day had finally come. "It's moments like these that I'm gonna miss the most, Amelie. Our cultural disconnect, your stalwart professionalism, and you constantly pretending that you don't like me."
"Zat waz not pretend. You are az zey zay, 'pain in azz', Monsieur Big."
I waited for the punchline. "But...?"
"Non, not pain in butt. Pain in azz. On zree zeparate occazzionz, you nearly cozt me my job. You made me a participant in a murder coverup. And now, you are cozting me my holiday bonuz, zat I am only giving you zo you may leave France and NEVER RETURN!"
The shout of those final words echoed across the airport lobby. Several travelers took a wide detour around us. I stared wide-eyed at Amelie. "But...?"
"But? What iz but? What could zere pozzibly be to but about zee merde you have put me zrough?!"
I waited until her growls stopped being scary. "But... The Oblivio episode was pretty awesome. Wasn't it?"
Her anger stopped. For a brief moment, every hardship was forgotten. Nothing else mattered. It's a funny thing. I came to Paris to find Astruc but in the end he wasn't the one who I was going to remember. Despite the language barriers and the ocean's worth of differences between us, we still had a common ground. Ours was a friendship not based on history or passion or even liking each other. All we had was the common love of a TV show. A smile actually found out it's way to Amelie's face.
"Oui, it waz zee bezt one yet."
We shared a warm connection there. In that time, I wondered about when Miraculous would finally end. Would our friendship end too? If it did, was what we had even worthy of being called a friendship? Really, there are no rules, no set definition, except one. Friendships only end when you choose to end them. I don't think I want to stop being Amelie's friend and, despite her words, I don't think Amelie wants to stop either. We'll just have to see where life takes us.
My flight's gate was called over the speaker. I picked up my suitcase and gave Amelie a nod. "We'll always have Paris."
"Oui, I live here."
"No, Amelie, I mean..." I try to do my best Humphrey Bogart impression. "Here's looking at you, kid, we'll always have Paris." Amelie had no reaction. "Casablanca? It's a famous movie. It's, like, the only reason any American knows Paris exists."
"I zought zey knew Paris az zee place zat zurrendered to zee Nazis occupazion."
"Which was a plot point in Casablanca!"
"Alwayz wiz zee Nazis in your ztupid American moviez! Zere are ozer European zings to make moviez about!"
"Oh yeah, gotta love those period pieces about the spoiled nobility, the next remake of Les Mis, and I just can't wait for that Brexit trilogy!"
"Fuck you, Monsieur Big!"
"Fuck you, Officer Amelie!"
The speaker system made the final call for my flight.
I cleared my throat. "Alright, so, I got your Skype. I'll give you a call when the next Miraculous episode comes out and we'll have a premiere party."
"Oui, cannot wait." She lit up a cigarette, which I don't think was legal, and waved goodbye. With a bittersweet smile, I passed security and headed for my gate. One last time, I looked back. Amelie was still there, still waving, still smoking.
Still my friend.
THE END
Miraculous Headache
Chapter 24: The Calamitous Chloe Catastrophe
By: I Write Big
They say the most important thing after a good night's sleep is a healthy breakfast. Not for Chloe. For her, the most important thing after a good night's beauty sleep is to promptly shame the rest of the world for not being as fabulous as her. That and deciding what to wear. This particular day, following an invigorating morning of cyber-bullying anyone with a figure bigger than size 0, Chloe was having the hardest time choosing which million euro outfit to grace her perfect body.
"This is a complete and utter disaster!" Chloe's cries echoed through her packed to the brim bus-sized walk-in closet. "I have literally NOT A THING to wear! This one is way too pink, those are so last season, those weren't hand-stitched by enough starving third-world children, and these are never in season! I hate all of these!"
Her butler professionally nodded, "Shall I have them donated to the poor, Mademoiselle?"
"Ugh, don't be ridiculous, Jean Claude Van Damme, none of the 'less-desirables' could possibly pull these looks off. Just burn them."
"Very good, Mademoiselle." The butler bowed and took the pile of clothing to the basement incinerator.
"And by the time I get back from school, Jean Snow, there had better be a fifth closet installed. I clearly don't have enough room." Then she spotted a last pair of ugly heels that so needed to be burned. "Ugh! Jean Valjean, you forgot a pair! Useless! Must I do everything?" She was about to stomp after her neglectful butler and give him a piece of her far superior mind when she heard something break in her bathroom.
"Hello?"
There was no response.
Nervously, Chloe crept around the corner and peeked. "Pinkeye bio-terrorist, is that you? I have money. I can pay you to not hurt me. In fact, I know a whole classroom's worth of idiots you could pinkify. If you spare me, I'll give them all to you. Especially Sabrina! That loser sooo has it coming—" A bottle of imported hand cream (lube) flew across the room and smacked her face! Chloe tumbled backwards and cowered as her entire bathroom of very expensive makeup and beauty products was hurled at her! Then her third closet whipped open and out spilled her… toys… They too flew across the room at her! Chloe protected her faultless face from the Ladybug-themed whips, harnesses, and fuzzy handcuffs. She begged for whatever this was to end.
Then the unthinkable happened.
Some unseen force ripped the ugly heels out of her hands and the shoes floated towards her balcony!
"No, wait, come back, shoes! It's not true! I love you!"
The shoes stopped and looked back at her with hope.
"Well, not love love, you're still incredibly ugly." The shoes rolled their eyes and continued floating towards the balcony. Before Chloe could grab them, they flew over the railing and deep into Paris. "No! Don't leave me! Mommy, I'll be good! Please stay, mommikins!" She broke down in hysterical tears.
Her sobs were so great that she didn't notice the flash of a camera coming from nowhere right next to her.
One Teddy Bear Therapy Session Later:
The class worked silently on their tests as Miss Mendeleiev patrolled the room for cheaters. Marinette happened to glance to her right and spotted Chloe practically falling asleep at her desk. "Whoa," she whispered to Alya. "Look at Chloe. She's a complete wreck. Do you think it has something to do with Sabrina being absent since yesterday?"
Alya whispered back, "I think the question you should be asking is: why do we care? It's Chloe."
"Oh yeah, you're right. Nevermind." They both went back to their tests.
"AAH!" The painful scream hurt everybody's ears as Chloe was spun in the air like a sack of potatoes! "Ouch! It's got my hair! Heeeeelp!"
"Chloe!" Miss Mendeleiev scolded the levitating girl. "We're not covering the laws of gravity until next week. Get down from there and finish your science test."
"Something is attacking me! I think it's a ghost!" The girl shouted before whatever was spinning her let go! Chloe body slammed into the chalkboard.
"Ghost? Don't be absurd," the teacher scoffed. "We live in a world of scientific fact, such as Hawking radiation or String Theory or magical superheroes that fight the literal force of evil incarnated in butterfly form. You know, science."
"Then can you science whatever the hell this is away from me?!" Chloe begged before her purse delivered a mean uppercut. The entire class watched in wordless fascination as Chloe was repeatedly beaten by her own bag.
"Twenty euros on the ghost. Any takers?" Alix said.
"You're on!" Kim threw the money on her desk.
Immediately, the class began placing their bets and cheering.
Whatever had Chloe was now using the purse strap as a noose and dragged the gasping for breath blonde to the back of the room. As she started turning blue, every single pencil in the room flew like darts and struck Chloe. "WHAT THE HELL?!" she gurgled.
"It was the ghost," everybody lied.
One particular pencil accidentally hit the unseen assailant, giving Chloe just enough distraction to slip away. She bolted towards the exit, only for the 'ghost' to tackle her from behind and deliver what seemed to be an invisible German Suplex into Miss Mendeleiev's desk! The desk cracked in half, spilling multiple test tubes of what looked like human hair.
"My samples!" The teacher scrambled to grab her precious… collection.
"Giver her the chair!" Nino roared and tossed his seat forward. The ghost caught it and broke the furniture over Chloe's back!
The crowd went wild!
For a second time, Chloe was floated into the air. Only this time, she was fired like a torpedo straight through the classroom door. Before everybody could get up and follow the show, Miss Mendeleiev ordered them to stay and finish their tests.
Everybody groaned.
"Well, you heard the teacher." Marinette shrugged and got to work, perfectly content. Tikki bit her finger. "OW! Okay, fine! Miss M, I'm going to the bathroom, I'm having girl issues." She ran out without waiting for an answer.
Adrien raised his hand and ran out too, "So am I. Oh these menstrual cramps are just killing me!"
"Uh, dude, only girls get those," Plagg pointed out.
"Then why are they called MENstrual cramps?!"
Later, in the Girl's Room:
Marinette reluctantly wandered in, grumbling about not wanting to save Chloe for the thousandth time, only to gasp at the entire set of bathroom stalls that were covered in various Anti-Chloe graffiti. "Holy fuuuuuuuuck… Somebody recently added to the Hate Chloe Wall!"
Tikki tilted her bulbous head in confusion at the school's favorite massive art installation. "How can you tell?"
"Right here, under where I drew Chloe choking on her own stupid ponytail and next to where Miss Bustier drew Chloe as a rat being burned at the stake. This message wasn't here yesterday."
There, written in harsh jagged letters, was the declaration, 'Chloe won't SEE the pain coming...'
Marinette's fingernails clawed across the wall. "That had better not be a pun." Her fury was interrupted by her phone rumbling. In fact, every student and faculty member's phone rang too. They all received the same mass text of pics of Chloe being humiliated and assaulted, including some rather… not so tasteful… candid shots of Chloe.
"WHOA! SCORE!" Kim cheered.
"The hell is she doing to Pinkie Pie?!" Nathaniel blushed.
Down the hall, Miss Bustier stared at her phone. She made sure the coast was clear before slipping into a janitor's closet and locking the door with a lecherous grin.
"I knew Chloe was stuffing her bra," Marinette grumbled. "Guess this is the day I find out who has access to so many nudes of Chloe. Tikki, spots on." In a flourish of red, she transformed into Ladybug.
Later, at the Grand Paris Luxury Hotel:
Mayor Bourgeois addressed the mass of reporters gathered outside. "In addition to making pranks illegal, I am also declaring a state of emergency and allocating all public funds to the search and capture of this criminal. Martial Law is in effect. Anyone found outside after dark will be shot on sight!"
A reporter raised their hand. "Uh, Mister Mayor, is that really necessary? Somebody is just messing with your daughter." A pair of military officers grabbed the reporter's arms and dragged them away to never be seen again.
"Any other questions?" the Mayor asked.
Then Ladybug and Chat Noir landed behind him.
"We're here to help, Mayor," Chat Noir saluted.
"Against our better judgement," Ladybug added.
Later, upstairs:
"She's recovering in here." Bourgeois led the heroes into Chloe's bedroom. The ornate archway that led to her massive bed was decorated with fresh flowers and a metric ton of 'Get Well Soon' balloons. The butler fanned the stricken figure under the sheets with a palm branch while a harp player strummed soothing music in the corner. The Mayor stopped the two from getting any closer and gently called from the archway.
"Chloe my darling, we have some special guests for you."
"LADYBUG!" a voice gushed from behind them. Chloe popped her head out from the couch and dove tackled the polkadotted heroine in a hug. "I knew you'd save me, you know, considering what good friends we are."
As his Lady flailed and slapped Chloe away, Chat Noir eyed the bed. "Wait, then who's in there?"
The butler pulled the sheet aside to reveal a dress. "Mademoiselle's last remaining outfit."
"Don't you dare wrinkle that, Jean-Luc Picard, or I'll have your mustache!" Chloe glowered before going back to taking as many personal-space-violating selfies with Ladybug as she could.
Chat Noir opened all four of Chloe's closets, including the still under construction fifth closet. They were picked clean save for a few hangers. "It's a travesty!" Bourgeois said. "I had to put out an emergency order with Gabriel. Can you imagine my daughter wearing department store rags?"
Ladybug pointed at the bed. "I'm pretty sure I've seen that dress in the discount aisle of Wal-Mart."
Bourgeois covered Ladybug's mouth and spoke loudly. "The very thought of it! She would be paraded through the streets as a middle class! How humiliating!"
Ladybug finally pried herself from both the Mayor and Chloe's clutches and accidentally turned on the home theater sized TV. The screen showed multiple live feeds around the hotel. Both heroes gaped in astonishment.
"Whoa..." Chat Noir whispered.
"Why?!" Ladybug demanded.
"What? There's nothing fun to do around this boring place," Chloe shrugged. "So I had the hotel rigged with cameras to keep an eye on the dozens of booby traps I had installed. Watch this." She grabbed the remote just as a maid walked into one of the shots. Chloe pressed a button and a trapdoor opened under the maid's feet. She plummeted, screaming the entire way.
Chat Noir snickered. "Hehe, booby."
Ladybug took back the remote before more lives were lost. "Okay, Chloe, I know this is a lot to ask, but I need a short list of everybody you've pissed off in the last 24 hours."
Chloe scoffed, "I never piss anybody off! Everybody absolutely loves me. Don't they, Jean Jacket?"
"Like a malignant tumor, Mademoiselle."
"See, I'm malignant. That's high class for adorable."
The crazy part was that Ladybug could tell Chloe seriously believed that. "Then let me rephrase, I need a short list of every single person you had the slightest interaction with in the last 24 hours."
"Yeah, sure, no problem."
20 minutes later, in the lobby:
"That's not gonna help," Chat Noir observed as Ladybug flipped through the hardbound novel of names.
"This has to be the entire population of Paris!" Ladybug tossed the useless book into the fireplace. "Does she spend any waking moment NOT ruining somebody's life?!"
"She does not," the nearby butler said.
"Hey, you're that Mr. Picard guy, right?"
The butler shuddered. "That is not my name. My name is whatever Mademoiselle chooses. Today, I am Jean. Last week, I was Sally. Yesterday, I was Mr. Big Mustachio."
Ladybug and Chat Noir blinked. "...Wha...?"
"It was the name of the part I played while Mademoiselle and Sabrina were playing their traditional game of Ladybug and Chat Noir."
"D'aww, they like to impersonate us and pretend to be superheroes?" Chat Noir cooed.
The butler with no true name stared off into the distance with the look of cold fear usually reserved for the traumatized soldier who had witnessed his comrades being gunned down in the battlefield. "...No..."
Yesterday:
Mr. Big Mustachio fruitlessly tried to remove the glued on groucho glasses and pumped his legs as hard as he could. The elevator was only a couple doors away. The pit he knew the Mademoiselle had installed last month opened before him and he leaped over the chasm. He caught a glimpse of another mustachioed half-rotted skeleton amongst the spikes below but kept running. Next came the swinging axes and the wall of fire. Both easily passed if you knew where to duck, and Mr. Big Mustachio had this entire hotel death trap memorized. His fist punched the elevator call button repeatedly. On the other side, he could hear the machine whirring painfully slow.
"You won't get away this time, Mr. Big Mustachio!"
Several polkadotted ninja stars embedded themselves into the elevator doors around him. He turned to see the Mademoiselle in her heroine outfit, riding Sabrina like a horse. The redhead's black leather spandex served as an excellent saddle.
"Yeah!" Sabrina agreed. "We'll stop you before you curse Paris with heinous mustaches!"
"Ahem!" Chloe scolded.
"Oh! Right! I mean, she will stop you."
"Better." The Mademoiselle fed her steed a carrot and cracked her polkadotted riding crop. The traps separating them shut off. "Charge!" With nothing in their way, Sabrina rushed him at full gallop. The doors dinged open and Mr. Big Mustachio floundered in, pushing the first random floor button he could. The doors slid closed seconds before he was caught but not before a couple polkadotted butcher knives, flaming arrows, and chainsaws flew in and pierced the elevator's wall.
Right Now:
The real Ladybug and Chat Noir stared dumbfoundedly at the shell shocked butler.
"Big Mustachio? Sounds like a hairy situation." Chat Noir grinned.
Ladybug smashed that grin into the front desk. "Continue."
Left Then, at the dining hall:
The bloodied and exhausted Mr. Big Mustachio extinguished his hair and stumbled inside, relieved to see other people. In a public populated space the Mademoiselle would show some restraint if she caught him. Not much but some. He just needed to find the perfect distraction.
He considered using a short oriental man in a red hawaiian shirt who sat at the bar. The old man was several beers in already and was praising the barkeeper for bringing him his next drink. "Thank ya, hic, ya trooly have a pyure heart wordy of da, hic, Turtle Miraculous! Here, uses it wizely to, hic, defeet Nooroo."
"Thanks, buddy, this is a nice bracelet, but I'm gonna need money." The barkeeper rolled their eyes and tossed the worthless jewelry back to the short oriental man.
Mr. Big Mustachio's attention was then caught by a familiar face. In a corner booth, Nadia Chamack was interviewing Jagged Stone! He couldn't have asked for someone better. He casually approached and positioned himself near the booth.
"Now, did I vote in favour of Brexit? Yes, I did," Jagged Stone admitted. "But I never imagined that them bloody wankers would deport me. I didn't think it mattered that me auntie was French."
"In other words, Mr. Stone, you're also a refugee?" Nadia asked with sympathy.
"Not on your life! I'm a rich celebrity and I'm white. This citizenship setback just means I'm taking a holiday. Thinking maybe Rome. Definitely not this shite stain of a city, that's for sure."
Then the Mademoiselle trotted into the room on Sabrina's back. Just as planned, the Mademoiselle spotted Jagged Stone and ran to him like a moth to the flame.
The rockstar noticed her. "Ladybug! Since when were you a blonde?"
The Mademoiselle stuttered a little before launching into her 1,439th lie of the day. "That old hair was so drab. I thought it was about time that the carpet match the drapes. Isn't this color amazing?" She plopped down next to Nadia and looked right into the camera. "I've got a few minutes to spare. I'm sure you'd jump at the chance to interview the one and only Ladybug, who is definitely moi."
In the Present:
Ladybug was starting to freak out. "Chloe pretended to be me for a private interview?!"
"The Mademoiselle pretends to be you for many things. For dinner, her pedicures, her bubble baths. It is her form of idolization."
"No, that's identity theft!"
Chat Noir chimed in while picking bits of desk out of his teeth. "So, uh, when Sabrina was pretending to be me…?"
"Nobody wanted to interview her."
"Dammit."
Out the Past, still in the dining hall:
After bandaging his arrow wounds, Mr. Big Mustachio slowly inched his way towards the exit right next to the short oriental man whose drunkenness had reached the hysterical sobbing stage. "'N she covers me mouth 'n says, 'Tells me whens ya come back!' and she runs away. WAAH! Why, Marianne, why wouldn't ya lemme tells ya ta gimme back me Charizard card? Hic!"
"I think you've had enough," the barkeeper said.
Just as Mr. Big Mustachio was about to make a break for it, he was tackled and ballgagged by leather-clad Sabrina. She dragged the prisoner over to the booth. "Oh Mistress Chloe, I've captured Mr. Big Mustachio."
Immediately, the interview ground to a halt.
"Chloe?" Nadia noted.
"Mistress?" Jagged mumbled.
"Hey, you're not Ladybug! You're a fake!" Nadia j'accused. "Look, these polkadots come right off!"
The Mademoiselle scrambled, "Dah, uh, um, uh, well, how do you know I'm not Ladybug? She's a superhero. Nobody knows her true identity. Maybe I, Chloe Bourgeois, have been Ladybug this entire time."
Everybody blinked.
Then everybody started to laugh.
"Yeah, right, Chloe Bourgeois being a superhero!" Nadia's guffaws turned to tears of joy.
"And I'm the bloody Queen of England!" Jagged added.
"Greetings, Your Majesty." The hammered short oriental man bowed before tumbling off his stool and blacking out with a loud fart.
Completely humiliated, the Mademoiselle stomped away. She stopped only to tear off her mask and chuck it at Sabrina. Actually, she stopped a second time to chuck a chair at Sabrina. Then she stopped a third time to chuck the short oriental man at Sabrina. She actually stopped and chucked quite a lot at Sabrina all the way to her room where Sabrina tried to apologize.
"But, Chloe, how was I supposed to know?"
"Why do you think we have safe words, Sabrina?"
"I didn't hear you say banana."
"You ruined everything! This was was our chance to blackmail Ladybug into a threesome and now, thanks to your brainlessness, it's gone!" The Mademoiselle chucked the last object she had, the polkadotted yo-yo, in Sabrina's face. "Get out! I never want to see you again! Why can't you just disappear? Vanish from this planet why don't ya! Stop existing already! I wish you were invisible! If you were to suddenly become see-through—"
Forward in the present:
"OKAY, I GET IT!" Ladybug shouted.
"Are you sure she said threesome?" Chat Noir clarified.
"The Mademoiselle did not say foursome."
"Dammit."
"While the Mademoiselle and Sabrina do fight a lot—that is the only time when the staff can breathe easy—this was different. The Mademoiselle and Sabrina have yet to engage in the traditional Getting-Back-Together-Handcuffing-to-the-Bed-Game."
Ladybug rubbed her head at the annoyingly obvious answer. "I think we know who's our ghost."
Chloe, who had watched the entire conversation on her giant TV, scoffed. "As if! Sabrina is way too much of a Sub to pull this off. And as for you, Jean Sally Blabbermouth..." She aimed the remote.
Ladybug assured the butler. "Thanks for your help, even if the story was disturbing. I promise we won't let Chloe know you told us." A trapdoor opened under the butler's feet and he plummeted, screaming the entire way. "Nevermind. Time to make a plan. I'm thinking bear traps."
As the duo walked across the lobby, Chat Noir plucked a rose from a nearby vase and presented the flower to her. "Do you think we should have a safe word, LB?"
"We do, it's cucumber sandwich."
"It is? I don't remember agreeing to that."
"And you never will." She dropped the gift in the trash can and kept walking. Then, unseen by both heroes, the same flower floated out of the trash can. It was being held by the invisible hands of Vanisher!
The villain cackled. "And you'll never see me coming, Ladybug."
Hawkmoth quickly reached out to his minion. "No, you fool!"
But it was too late.
Ladybug froze on the spot. Her fists clenched. Her eyes narrowed. Her nostrils flared. The floor around her cracked.
"Somebody punned."
The heroine spun and dove claws first at the airborne rose! The flower dropped to the floor and Ladybug's hands came up empty. Her rage not quelled, Ladybug swung her yo-yo with all her might in a wide circle around her. Every piece of furniture in the lobby was chopped in half!
Chat Noir poked out of the front desk rubble. "Did you get her?"
A broken vase flew across the room and hit his head.
"Nope!" Vanisher said.
Back upstairs:
Chloe watched the battle ensue with this weird stinging sensation in her chest. She waited to see if it was a heart attack. It wasn't. The stinging seemed to come every time Vanisher, or Sabrina, was attacked. What could this possibly mean? Then Chloe remembered overhearing some of the help talk about this... thing. Some crazy thing that Chloe thought they called 'guuuy-elt?'
She googled it.
Guilt [Noun]: A feeling of having done wrong.
Done wrong? Ridiculous! A person like Chloe, who was so perfect, magnificent, and malignant, couldn't do anything wrong. And yet, when she saw Sabrina get clotheslined into the wall, the sting hit full force. Was it possible that she, Chloe Bourgeois, in ignoring and refusing to forgive her friend had been… wrong? Impossible! Clearly, she was feeling guuuy-elty for not going down there and giving Ladybug and Chat Noir the help they obviously needed. The duo would surely lose without her guidance. Chloe aimed the remote at her second closet and the back wall slid open.
Inside was her Ladybug costume.
Downstairs:
Vanisher hanged upside-down from the chandelier in a cocoon of unbreakable thread.
"Huh, didn't think she'd be this easy to defeat, M'Lady."
"Well, yeah, she's just an invisible normal teenager. Her main means of attack was throwing junk at us."
The lobby lights went out! A bright spotlight shined on a polkadotted figure at the top of the staircase! "Fear not, Ladybug and Chat Noir! I am here to save you!" Colorful lights pulsed to the beat of intense music as fireworks popped and a dazzling name written in golden sparkles lowered from the ceiling: 'SUPER CHLOE!'
Ladybug and Chat Noir couldn't look away. "Wow, I've heard of delusions of grandeur but—FUCK!" A stray firework hit the chandelier. The heroes dodged before it and Vanisher crashed to the ground. The invisible villain was instantly lost in the light show.
The lobby lights came back on. "What are you idiots doing!" Chloe scolded. "You let her get away."
"Chloe, this isn't a game! You could seriously get hurt! You need to le—"
Ladybug covered Chat Noir's mouth and tossed her yo-yo up. "Lucky Charm!" Down came a polkadotted bottle of glitter. She chucked the bottle at the ceiling fan. It shattered, raining glitter on everything… including Vanisher! "There she is! Go get her, Chloe!"
"See, Ladybug gets it." The girl who was in over her head spun her cheap, plastic, 'Made in China' yo-yo and jumped into the fray. "You've met your match, VanishERRR!" Chloe's triumphant declaration was ruined by an invisible punch to the stomach. This was followed by an invisible Tombstone Piledriver which promptly led to an invisible Elbow Drop. Dizzy and concussed, Chloe barely got to her feet. "Ish dat all ya got?" Several teeth fell out of her mouth like broken piano keys.
Chat Noir's battle staff extended into the scrap and lifted Chloe to them, out of harm's way.
"Oh, come on, Chat! You ruined it!" Ladybug whined.
"Just get her out of here!" The boy pushed Chloe into her arms and charged the glittery Vanisher.
Begrudgingly, Ladybug dragged Chloe towards the elevator. She made sure the injured girl accidentally smacked her head against several tables. On the way, the blonde seemed to regain some cognizance. "Wha happun? Di' aye win?"
"No, but you'll probably convince yourself that you singlehandedly saved the day later, so don't worry about it."
"Bugaboo!" Chat Noir shouted as he held up the once again easily defeated Vanisher. "Where do you think the Akuma is?"
"I don't know. Try her bag." She dumped Chloe's unresponsive body in the elevator.
"No, wait, Ladybug, the Akuma has to be in the designer pin I got her when we went to that S&M Convention. She wanted the studded corset but I told Sabrina she already had a spiked leather corset back at home—"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS STORY!" Ladybug punched the top floor button and breathed a sigh of relief when she could no longer hear the bitch. Able to actually think again, Ladybug went to the restrained Vanisher and ripped her bag in half. Nothing happened. Then, going against all logic, Ladybug tried Chloe's suggestion. She crushed the pin and out came the black butterfly.
"Huh, would you look at that. For once, Chloe was useful," Ladybug said before she started the de-evilizing process.
Up in Chloe's Room:
Chloe harrumphed at Ladybug. "What do you mean for once? I am always useful. It's everybody else who sucks." Despite her words, helping the heroes had left the girl feeling so… nice. This sense of accomplishment and self-fulfillment felt better than any of the toys daddikins bought for her! If mommikins had seen what her brave baby girl had done, maybe she'd come home. Maybe… This was the beginning of a new chapter in her life. A chapter where, instead of perfecting her already flawless self, Chloe would dedicate the rest of her days to aiding those in need.
On the big TV, Ladybug shrugged. "Too bad I ain't gonna give that bitch any credit."
"WHAT?!" Chloe snarled. "The fuck's the point if nobody knows how absolutely amazing I am! That's it! Forget helping others! Ladybug, I'm through with you!"
Meanwhile:
In a tower hidden somewhere in the city, a great spiral window opened, illuminating the haunting silhouette of a man who was considering an idea he never had before. "Two Akumas in a row? I don't know, that last Akuma left me pretty drained. I'm more of a one-and-done kinda guy. I might not perform as well the second time. Oooh, but just look at her. She is raring to go. Okay, yeah, yeah, let's do this!" Hawkmoth chugged a protein shake, did a couple jumping jacks, and grabbed a butterfly.
Gritting his teeth, he tried to infuse the insect with darkness. It only got about halfway before turning back to white. "Come on, come on, Gabriel, you can do this. Just think about the Miraculous. Ultimate power. Hoo! HOOOO!"
Meanwhile:
Nathalie and Ape-Man sat at their posts in abstract horror as Mr. Agreste's voice carried through the wall. "That's it! Almost! WoowoooWOOOOO! Get in there! Yeah! Just imagine all the things she can do for you! OOH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! HERE IT COMES! IT'S COMING! COOOMING! MMMMM! AAAAAH! FFFFF! OOOOOO! HNNNNNNNG! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAH! Ahhh...ah..."
Silence.
Then they heard the scratch of someone lighting up a smoke followed by a contented sigh, "That was great."
Ape-Man smirked at Nathalie. "Jealous?"
She rolled her eyes. "Jealous? Please! He barely lasted 30 seconds."
Back at the hotel:
Chloe grounded her polkadotted mask under her feet and collapsed in tearful sobs at how nobody would know how brave and incredible she was. The black butterfly fluttered into her room and shattered on her earrings. A pair of fashionably neon-pink butterfly-themed sunglasses appeared on her face and she saw the visage of a silver-masked man. He seemed very satisfied.
"Damn, I did not think I had that in me." Hawkmoth put out his cigarette and looked to Chloe. "You ready to get this party started, Antibug?"
She blankly looked at him before a sinister smile cut across her face. "...hehehehahaaahaaaahhahHAHAAAAHAHAHA!" Bubbling darkness swallowed her and she continued to laugh. Even though miles separated them, Hawkmoth took an instinctive step back in fear. His minions laughed evilly before but those were jokes compared to this. It was the laugh one heard in their darkest nightmares, the laugh they imagined escaped a demon's throat as they tortured those trapped in the vilest pits of hell. Hawkmoth was not ashamed to admit that he wet his pants.
"MUAHAAAAAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The bubbles cleared and the girl had been transformed into an inverted Ladybug. Black spandex, red dots. She smiled with far more fangs than a human mouth should have and peered across the magical divide into Hawkmoth's soul.
"Speak the devil's name and she shall appear."
Hawkmoth whimpered, "...Whuh…?"
Outside:
"Any statement you'd like to make, Ladybug?" A reporter shoved a mic in her mouth.
She spat the thing out and said, "Uh… me and Chat Noir are a team and blah blah blah… stay in school?"
Mayor Bourgeois stepped in. "Martial Law is over. Thanks to Ladybug and Chat Noir, order has been restored."
"So does that mean you're gonna release that first guy you had unjustly arrested an hour ago?" another reporter asked. A pair of military officers grabbed the reporter's arms and dragged them away to never be seen again.
Ladybug's Miraculous started to beep and she was grateful to have an excuse to leave. Before she could, though, a bone chilling laugh echoed from above. All eyes looked to the roof and they saw…
"Oh my Astruc!" Chat Noir gasped. "It's NegaBug!"
"No! I'm—"
"Gubydal!"
"That sounds like something straight out of Lovecraft!"
"Ladybug Black!"
"I'm Antibug, you weeb!"
"Does this mean I can shoot her?" Officer Roger eagerly aimed his pistol.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Roger didn't stop until the third clip was empty but that was only because, somehow, every single bullet missed.
The entire crowd gasped.
Chat Noir stiffened. "How come he couldn't..."
Ladybug went cold. "She has my..."
"That's right, Bugbrain." Antibug jumped off the roof. Inches before she hit the street, the villain impossibly stopped falling and she lightly stepped onto the cobblestone. Antibug stretched her black yo-yo taut. "I've got all of your bullshit luck powers, only I make it sexier."
The people cowered back!
Chat Noir tightly gripped his battle staff!
Ladybug smiled. "Yes. Yes! YEEES! This is the moment I've been dreaming of!" She cracked her knuckles and trembled with excitement. "I am going to enjoy every single second of this! Come to mama!"
The last dot on her earrings disappeared with a loud beeeeep.
"FUCK! Fuck-fuck-fuck! Chat, tag in!" Ladybug darted for a nearby alley.
This left Chat Noir to face Antibug on his own. "Don't worry, citizens, I'll keep you safe." Everyone immediately fled in terror. The villain lifted up a cop car using only her pinky and aimed the vehicle at Chat Noir.
"Here, kitty-kitty, let's play."
"Um… Cucumber sandwich?"
In the alley:
Ladybug hid behind a dumpster seconds before she de-transformed back into Marinette. An exhausted Tikki dropped into her hands and Marinette shouted, "I have never wanted to fight an Akuma more in my entire life! Come on, eat up and let's..." She reached into her purse but found nothing. "WHERE ARE ALL MY COOKIES?!"
Back at School:
The entire class munched on their post-test cookies. A pile of still untouched desserts waited on the table. "These're totally delish! Where'd you get 'em, Alya?" Nino asked.
"Took them from Marinette's purse."
"...You mean Marinette gave them to you from her purse?"
"Nope."
Back in the Alley:
"I don't wanna miss out on the Chloe beating! Tikki, spots on!"
The Kwami's body glowed briefly then loudly sputtered and stalled like an old oily car engine. Tikki slapped her across the face. "Hey! That ain't gonna work. Get a hold of yourself and feed me."
With the impatience of a child on Christmas morning, Marinette burst back into the hotel and scrambled to the kitchen. On the counter was a large platter of chocolate chip cookies! She shoved one into Tikki's arm nubs.
"EAT!"
The Kwami sniffed the food and frowned. "This one is a bit stale. Are there any fresher cookies?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Twenty-Four Rejected Cookies Later, Upstairs:
Marinette made it to the roof with Tikki on her shoulder, eating a cookie at last. The girl peered down in search of the battle, hoping Chat Noir hadn't already wrapped things up. She wasn't disappointed.
Chat Noir had a great bird's eye view of the reporters below as he hanged over the 30th floor balcony edge. He was hogtied to his own battle staff. "These are some impressive knots."
"What can I say, I had a ton of practice with tying up Sabrina," Antibug bragged. The villain stood on the other end of the staff. Her body weight was the only thing keeping Chat Noir from falling to his death. "You, on the other hand, I always heard how much you suck at this, how you're always quickly defeated until Ladybug saves your shapely feline ass, but I never imagined you'd be this easy. You really are a sidekick."
"Not a sidekick! We're a team!" Chat Noir growled and struggled against the unbreakable thread.
"Oh really? Who has the world famous blog? Who has the successful toy line? Who has an entire section of r34 dedicated to her? Nobody cares about Chat Noir! The only thing you're good at is getting mind controlled by Akumas and dying!"
There was no snarky comeback, no clever one-liner, no pun. The cat boy dangled there without a sound.
Hawkmoth muttered, "...You didn't have to be an asshole about it."
"Ladybrat, I know you can hear me! If you don't want to see Chat Noir die again, then come out and give me your Miraculous. I'm gonna count to ten. ONE!"
Marinette's throat went dry. There was a gnawing and twisting in her gut but it wasn't because of the countdown. She found herself unable to tear her sights away from the boy who no longer struggled against his restraints. He only hanged pathetically in his prison, his pointed ears drooping towards the ground. With every inch those ears drooped, that twisting cut deeper. "Wait… am I… am I feeling bad for Chat Noir?"
Tikki shrugged.
"TWO!"
Marinette searched for the right way to describe the alien sensation. "It's this—like a—sort of a… BWUUUEEEGH…?"
Tikki took another bite out of her cookie. "You're a poet, you know that? Sorry, I ain't an expert when it comes to giving a crap about others."
"FOUR! No, wait. THREE!"
"Can you hurry up and finish that cookie, Tikki? I don't wanna face this concept right now."
"This cookie is bigger than my head! And you didn't get me a glass of milk, now did you?"
"FOUR!"
"What's the problem, Marinette? He's still got another life. Just let him die and you can have Chloe to yourself. That's what you want, right?"
"FIVE!"
"Y-Yes, that's… that's exactly what I want!" Marinette said.
"SIX!"
But she didn't believe her own words and neither did Tikki. "Wait, you were serious? You're actually starting to care about—"
"NO!"
"SEVEN!"
"Don't talk crazy! Why would I suddenly, out of nowhere, randomly…"
Then she remembered what Chat Noir said. 'If you ever feel the need to talk to somebody… about your problems, I mean... I'd be happy to listen.'
"This is about practicality!" Marinette shouted as the BWUUUEEEGH got stronger. "Yeah, that's it! He's only got one more spare life! Why use that here? It'd be a waste!"
"EIGHT!"
Tikki slowly chewed her cookie while staring at Marinette's extra wide forced smile. "If you say so."
"NINE!"
Before more holes could be poked in her thin logic, Marinette ran to the other side of the roof.
"TE—"
"Me and Chat Noir are a team and blah blah blah." The familiar voice sounded from the other end of the hotel.
"Ladybug..." Antibug smirked, weighed down the battle staff with a sofa chair, and pursued her target.
With the coast clear, Marinette snuck to the railing and pulled Chat Noir to safety. As she started untying him, Chat Noir looked at her in shock. "Princess?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, don't question why I'm the only person in the evacuated hotel, it's perfectly normal and not suspicious at all that I'm here."
His surprise quickly morphed to a frown. "Figures. I'm so bad at being a hero that the citizens I'm supposed to be protecting need to save me." The thread fell around him, but the freed hero didn't get up. "Antibug's right, you know. I keep trying to deny it but, no matter how hard I try, I keep sucking at this. I'm either captured or possessed or killed within seconds. That's all I'm good for..." His ears drooped again.
"SO?!"
Chat Noir sat up and blinked in astonishment at the snarling girl.
The way he was acting, the whole 'woe is me, I'm a failure' act combined with the damn BWUUUEEEGH was pissing Marinette the hell off. How could he let Antibug bring him down so easily? That was her job! Marinette's temper flared to new heights and she proceeded to lie like there was no tomorrow.
"I can't believe I have to explain this to you, Chat Noir! Do you really not grasp how useful you are?!"
"U-Useful? But I get possessed and—"
"And suddenly Ladybug has to defeat somebody she already knows how to defeat! You getting taken over simplifies everything! And you almost always getting captured? Well, guess what! Now the Akuma has to worry about keeping an eye on a hostage on top of fighting Ladybug! You're the perfect distraction! And the dying? Don't call it that! It's not dying! It's valiantly sacrificing yourself so that the two of you can win together! Most idiots can only sacrifice themselves once, but you've already done it multiple times! Who wouldn't want that power?"
He listened, eyes as wide as the moon, lips slightly parted in a stupor. "But... the Ladyblog—"
"Forget about the blog and the toy line and the porn! You don't need any of that to be great, Chat Noir, because you already are great! I should know because..." Marinette scrunched her eyes and gulped back the bile and made the most terrible mistake of her life.
"I AM YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!"
Her voice carried across Paris like rolling thunder. For a moment, it was as if the world itself had stopped and taken notice. There was a collective gasp from the streets below.
Marinette nearly slapped herself. "Oh Astruc dammit, they got that on camera, didn't they?"
She heard Nadia Chamack proclaim, "Breaking News: Chat Noir actually has a fan and it's Marinette Dupain-Cheng! This has many medical experts asking, 'What the hell is wrong with her?'"
Proud tears brimming, Chat Noir put a hand on the shoulder of the girl who looked like she was about upchuck her lunch onto the streets. "Thank you, Princess."
"Still didn't say you could touch me."
"You'd better get to a safe place." His confidence restored, the cat boy flexed his abs and his pecs and his shapely feline ass before flashing a toothy grin. "This is a job for a hero." He jumped up to the roof.
Alone again, Marinette growled down at Tikki. "Are you done yet?"
"Done? I was ready to go before you untied him."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
On the Roof:
Antibug crushed the phone that had lured her to other side of the hotel with a recording of Ladybug. She turned around to find Chat Noir, out of his restraints and eager to fight.
"Bad kitty. Who let you out?" Antibug shoved both of her fists into the floor and pulled them back. She was now armed with a pair of concrete boxing gloves. "Oh look, you got something on your face. MY FIST!" She dove at him, arm cocked back for a massive punch!
"TIKKI, SPOTS THE FUCK ON!"
A pillar of red energy erupted like a volcano through the floor, directly in Antibug's path! Through the concrete exploded Ladybug who delivered a tooth shattering rising uppercut! The villain tumbled back to her corner of the roof, a little winded and her concrete fists destroyed.
Ladybug stood tall. "Hi there, I got a signed invitation here for Chloe Bourgeois to get her BONY ASS KICKED!"
Antibug popped her jaw back into place. "My ass is malignant, Bugbrain."
Both fired their yo-yos forward! The polkadotted weapons met in the center and clashed again and again! Sparks flew, igniting several fires on the rooftop! Antibug tore the pool's metal railing out and threw it like a javelin! Somehow, a toilet fell from the sky and intercepted the spear! Ladybug ripped several razor-sharp shards of porcelain out of the toilet and chucked them like daggers! Somehow, the powerful porcelain projectiles went off course and all landed a perfect bullseye on a dartboard across the street! Antibug made a molotov cocktail in the roof's bar and lobbed it! Somehow, the explosive safely landed in Ladybug's hand and she pulled out the flaming rag and chugged the vodka!
Chat Noir stepped in. "Stop! That won't work, LB. She has your luck. You can't hit her."
Ladybug finished the bottle, belched, and clenched her fist. "THE HELL I CAN'T!"
The goddesses charged each other, fire roaring in their eyes! They each threw a punch backed by every minute ounce of their super strength!
The fists met...
...and the planet shook.
In an instant, the roof's pool water evaporated! The clouds overhead disintegrated! Several days and nights passed in the blink of an eye as the impact knocked the Earth off its axis! Several countries were decimated as the planet played celestial pinball! The windforce from the collision of the two titans of hatred expanded across Paris like a bomb! Hawkmoth's spiral window was obliterated and what felt like a tornado tore through the hidden tower! Parisians who weren't indoors were flung like ragdolls down the street! The Eiffel Tower was ripped out of the ground and spiraled into the horizon before Big Ben landed in its place! Big Ben took off and the Empire State Building took the spot! Then the Eiffel Tower came back around the globe and landed on top of the Empire State Building!
In the Next Life:
Astruc was glued to the timeline. He was about to shovel another spoonful of Fruity Pebbles into His gaping mouth when He felt a tremor shake the void. The shelf holding His cactus toppled over with a crash. "...Whoa... Eh, I'll get that later." He scooted a couple feet away from the broken pottery and kept watching.
Back on Earth:
After what felt like an eternity, the dust finally settled.
Chat Noir, who had barely managed to cling to the roof railing, opened his eyes. Ladybug and Antibug stood at the center of a smoking crater, their fists still touching.
At the same time, they both dropped to their knees and grabbed their punching hand.
"OWOWOW! Ow, that hurt so bad!"
"Is there still skin underneath? I feel like it peeled off!"
"We are not doing that again!"
"Agreed!"
"Lucky Charm Duel?" Ladybug suggested.
"Lucky Charm Duel," Antibug nodded.
Both polkadotted girls tossed up their yo-yos! Into Ladybug's hands landed a polkadotted bag of marbles. Into Antibug's hands landed the largest most deadly polkadotted war sword in existence that somehow had four bladed edges and spikes and a cute little ladybug keychain!
"Ooh, marbles. I'll trade ya," Antibug offered.
"Wait, really?"
"Nope." The Akuma brought the heavy blade down, cracking the entire hotel in half!
Ladybug was starting to feel a touch intimidated. Chat Noir took a fighting pose next to her. "Alright, LB, you go after her earrings. I'll do what I do best and valiantly sacrifice my 2nd to last life to take the blow."
"No, don't!" Ladybug grabbed him.
"Huh?" Chat Noir blinked.
"Yeah, what he said. Huh?" Antibug agreed.
Ladybug began to panic sweat and jerkily let go of the boy. She had not meant to say that. It just... shoved its way out with a burst of BWUUUEEEGH. "Da, um, uh, I mean, remember how she taunted you earlier? She'll totally see that plan coming a mile away. Yeah, that's the reason. I'M NOT LOSING MY MIND!"
"Then… what do you suggest?"
Ladybug thought hard for a good 2 seconds.
Then she tossed the bag. It split open and the marbles rolled across the roof. Antibug stepped on them, lost her footing, and slipped toward the huge canyon she had carved into the hotel. She teetered on the edge for a few moments. Chat Noir poked her over with his battle staff. Antibug plummeted, screaming the entire way!
SQUISH!
"Ow, my ears!"
A black butterfly fluttered into the open.
"Why does that always work?" Chat Noir wondered.
Ladybug quickly de-evilized the butterfly and cast Miraculous Ladybug.
The Empire State Building and Big Ben were returned home!
The hotel was made whole!
Hawkmoth's destroyed lair was repaired!
Hawkmoth just stood there. "Did I… Did I nearly destroy the world? Note to self: never akumatize Chloe again. Ever."
In a swish of red, Chloe was returned to the roof and transformed back to her bitchy self. "Huh? What am I doing here?" Ladybug came to the girl and glared at her.
"I'm only saying this so you don't go all villain on us again, and I'm not going to say it nicely because I know your ego will take the slightest compliment as the highest praise." She bit her tongue and pushed the disgusting words out like they were pure acid. "Thank you for trying to help fix the problem YOU caused."
Chloe radiated joy. "Well of course I had to step in. It wasn't as if you or Chat Noir could handle things. Who else would put their life at risk like that?"
"Most of the human race. And they wouldn't have made it worse."
Just as predicted, Chloe's ego filtered out the negative parts. "Oh, you flatter moi, Ladybug. I just might reconsider being your most loyal and adoring fan who also happens to dress like you in more intimate situations."
Ladybug shivered in revulsion. "As long as you keep it in the bedroom, I don't care. But if you really are my most loyal and adoring fan, then I hereby order you to apologize to Sabrina. Not pay someone else to say it for you. You have to say it, Chloe."
The girl went pale.
Satisfied, Ladybug turned to her partner. "Chat Noir, I am only going to say this once so listen carefully. I'm serious, these words will never come out of my mouth a second time." The heroine prayed this wouldn't blow up in her face. Normally, she wouldn't do this but she hadn't gotten rid of that BWUUUEEEGH yet. She spoke as slowly and as carefully as she would tread across a minefield. "You are... we make a... I think that you're... I appreciate you."
She expected surprise, a cheesy grin, an awful pun coupled with a groping hand. However, the boy looked back at her with absolutely no reaction. He was as still as a statue.
"Chat, did you hear m—"
Suddenly, a surge of black magic coursed across Chat Noir and he gasped for breath.
Ladybug stared. "Did… you… just… die?"
You—" Gasp. Gasp. "really have a way with words, M'Lady." Gasp. Gasp. "I knew you were a heartstopper, but you didn't have to take it so literally." Gasp. Gasp. "Looks like I'm down to my final life."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
The Next Day, at School:
The air was thick with tension as the class watched Chloe walk to her desk as fearfully as she would walk to her execution.
Alya whispered to Marinette, "What's going on?"
"Get your phone out and livestream to every blog you got. This is going to be historic."
The blonde sat down and folded her arms in her usual 'I'm better than the rest of you' fashion. However, the haughty scowl couldn't hide the way her legs were fidgeting. Next came Sabrina. Her head bowed in shame, she went to the desk that she shared with Chloe but didn't sit. The moments dragged on with neither making a move.
Finally, Sabrina started. "I'm sorry about the—"
"STOP!" Chloe held her chin high, refusing to look at anyone. "We both made mistakes, mostly you. We both said things we shouldn't have, mostly you. So since somebody was wrong—not gonna name names—then somebody has to make things right. You obviously don't have the mental capacity, which leaves it up to moi." Chloe slapped a little piece of metal on the desk and slid it towards Sabrina.
The girl gasped. "But that's your Dom pin!"
"Yeah, well," Chloe shrugged. "I was thinking I could be the bottom for a while. See what the fuss is all about… Mistress."
Every jaw in the room dropped.
Sabrina, beyond happy, clipped on the Dom pin and wrapped Chloe in a powerful hug. "Oh thankyouthankyouthankyou! I promise I'll be gentle!"
"Banana! Banana! BANANA!" Chloe screamed.
"Would you look at that." Adrien beamed with pride. "Chloe figured out how to say sorry."
"A little indirect, but yeah," Nino agreed. "She actually apologized."
"Isn't that a sign of the apocalypse?" Alya asked.
Marinette chuckled. "Hahah, sure, like the world is going to end because Chloe showed humanity. That's silly." The rest of the class joined Marinette in laughter… which slowly died to silent concern as they felt an ominous wind of dire foreshadowing blow through the room.
"It is silly, right, Alix?" Marinette turned to their resident time traveler... but her desk was empty.
"...Alix?"
TO BE CONCLUDED
Some of you might be asking how could I possibly top this? Oh ye of little faith. Do you remember what Alix said so long ago? '...I have been to the series finale and most of you die…'
Come back in two weeks.