Chapter 36 needles

As always thank you for all your kind words and support for the latest updates!

I've reworked this scene a few times and I'm worried if I keep going with it then i will ruin it completely so I am posting it now, I'm its rawness and hoping that it reads ok and you all like it! (esp as I cant make up my mind about it)

i don't own greys...and right now I'm almost happy i don't! besides its only really ellen and patrick i would want to won anyway...and since i have a Patrick Dempsey Robert doll already from enchanted then i think its time Greys marketed their very own Ellen dolls because then i will technically own them both lol

sorry mini ramble!

enjoy!

The gallery was empty aside from Meredith's tiny figure sitting in the centre row, her feet up on the chair in front as she watched Marks surgery in the OR below. Her eyes remained fixed on the Perspex glass before her but she wasn't really taking in any of the procedure Mark was completing…she was simply just waiting for him to be done so she could start the process of including her mom on the clinical trial before she freaked out again and changed her mind.

She had been angry yesterday, to say the least…but Carolyn was right, Derek had meant well in his actions, even if he did go about them the wrong way and when he had shown up at the house she had been incredibly relived to have him back by her side, and her heart had broken just a little bit as she had taken in how upset he was, and if possible she had fallen in love with him even more.

[I]' You wanna know?' he whispered as he responded to her touch and linked his fingers with hers.

'I do.' She nodded as she moved their joined hands towards his chest, placing her free hand over his heart. 'I do because I know I over reacted, and I'm sorry, and I know that in here is a heart of gold and you never meant for things to go this way.'

'Cheesy…for you…I really didn't, I promise you Mer I never meant to hurt you.' He smiled, through his glazed eyes, a stray tear falling down his cheek and resting itself there.

'I know…I knew that at the time too, it was just a lot…you could have spoken to me, you still can. Please…please tell me about the programme.' Meredith encouraged as she freed their hands and ran her thumb across his cheek, drying his tears.

'I didn't want you going through all of this alone. I thought if I got some information together first and found out if your mother was suitable it would be better than giving you false hope when I didn't really know the facts. I wouldn't to give you the full picture.'

'I realise that now…with a little help from your mom. You are lucky, growing up with a mom like you did…my mom was as nurturing as a steak knife and one of the worst things about this Alzheimer's is having to listen to her belittle me all over again, like it wasn't bad enough the first time around! Not to mention the days she doesn't even know who I am anymore and instead shares with me her regrets over ever having a daughter! I know that's selfish and not the point in all of this, but sometimes it's just so hard you know?'

'Yeah, I do know…and I don't want you to have to think about any of that alone. If you visit her and its hell I want you to come home and talk to me about it, or if you can't face it by yourself I want to come with you, hold your hand, support you…a problem shared is a problem halved…'

'Your mom said that!'

'She's a wise woman! And she taught me well' [/I]

'Why aren't you prepping for rounds and stealing all the good cases?' Meredith asked as her attention was drawn to the door as Cristina walked in.

'Well why aren't you prepping for rounds and stealing all the good cases? Cristina replied back as she stood against the window and peered down to see what was keeping Meredith from her job!

'No reason.' Meredith murmured not sounding convincing in the slightest

'No reason huh?' Cristina stated, more than aware that her friend was lying as she sat down next to her.

'I'm waiting for McSteamy.' Meredith whispered even though there was no one else in the room to overhear.

'I'm avoiding Owen.' Cristina offered back, feeling it was only fair to share her own reasons since Meredith had shared hers!

'Why are you avoiding Owen?'

'He thinks I moved in with him! Why are you waiting for McSt…?'

'McSteamy is doing me a favour! He thinks you moved in with him? You're moving out?'

'Wait, why are you calling Mark McSteamy…are you sleeping with him?'

'What? No! Derek asked him to help me out with something.'

'Oh is hot fireman not pleased with your rack and he needs McSteamy to see about boosting what little ya mamma gave ya!'

'There is nothing wrong with my rack! Look in the mirror before you call out mine! Besides Derek is more than happy with what I've got!'

'What then? Because all Mark Sloan knows is breast enhancement and Rhinoplasty and as your nose isn't the one in the relationship that needs straightening I can't begin to understand what Mark can possibly help you with?'

'It's my mother…'

[I] 'So how does all of this even work?' Meredith sighed as she continued to listen to Derek explain his findings so far about the trial.

'First thing they will need is a full family history, so I'm guessing some kind of interview with you to fill them in on what you know, plus tests, they will probably want to take your blood and get a clear picture of who Ellis is before they make a decision on the trial or not.'

'Blood? From me? I hate needles!'

'How can you hate needles, you're a doctor?'

'I like sticking them in other people, doesn't mean I like someone doing it to me in return! How am I even going to get this started without the whole hospital finding out? I don't want pitying, or my mother pitying. The hospital is a gossip paradise!'

'That's where we need Mark; he can take your blood and get a rush on the results, or you could ask Cristina to do that if you needed someone else to talk too? You need people Meredith. Then Mark can speak to the clinical trial team and set up the interview. He is just waiting for the nod from me to start making moves.'

'I…I don't know…I don't want the world finding out I have been lying to everyone.'

'Mark isn't everyone, he's my brother…he's your family…besides we don't even know if she is suitable yet so nobody else would need to know until the results came back anyway, and even then they may have bases in other hospitals in the city, it might not have to be yours.'

'So we need to tell Mark that it isn't your boss' mother with the disease.'

'We do…he can help get the ball moving on this Meredith, if it's what you want?'

'And it could slow down her regression? Give her more good days than bad?'

'that's the hope, it's had positive results in Europe, its new and a risk over here, but sometimes risks are worth taking for the people you love.'

'Yeah…they are.' [/I]

'You didn't do it yet?' Derek gasped as he flew through the door to the exam room that currently housed Meredith and Mark, his cheeks bright pink and his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath after a sudden dash to get to Meredith's side.

'I said I wouldn't start without ya man, relax please! Cardio was always my weakest area I don't want to have to start compressions on you as well as trying to get this one to sit still and brave the needle!' Mark laughed as he allowed Meredith up of the bed so she could move towards Derek.

'You're here?' she smiled as she wrapped her arms around him and ran her fingers along his back as she pulled him in closer. 'I can't believe you're here.'

'You hate needles; I wasn't going to let you go through this by yourself.' He whispered as he bent his head down and captured her lips with his own 'I'm with you every step of the way. I promise you,' he added as he pulled away a little, before wrapping an arm around her waist and guiding her back over towards the bed.

'Thank you for being here for the needles and the blood.' Meredith quietly said as she nuzzled into the side of him as he sat down beside her on the bed, making room for Mark to get to her arm. He pulled her closer again, taking her hands in his as he pulled her closer.

He looked into her grey blue pools with a little apprehension as he took her hands in his, the clamminess of her nerves evident for him to see…and feel 'I promised you.' He whispered as he leant forwards and placed a delicate kiss on the end of her nose.

Meredith squeezed Derek's hand as she looked over towards Mark who was currently reading the information sent by the FDA ensuring he knew exactly how many vials of blood were needed, and which factors they were searching for.

Derek had held her close to him the night before when he had made the call to mark, explaining that it was in facts Meredith's mother who needed his help to get onto the trial and she had shook silently in his arms as he had made mark promise not to share the information with anyone, reminding him it wasn't his story to tell, it was Meredith's whenever she was ready.

Mark had promised of course, he knew the importance of family and wouldn't betray his brothers trust like that, he was more than happy to help and had set to work in making the trial a possibility. He knew a good thing when he saw it and he agreed with his Mom a hundred percent that they were perfect for one another so he would never do anything to jeaposide that, he had a heart no matter what many people thought.

'Okay Grey, you ready for this?' Mark asked as he approached the bed and took in the sight before him.

Meredith and Derek were sat side by side, their bodies touching from their thighs all the way up to their heads, their heads turned in slightly as their foreheads rested against one another's and his left arm was firmly around her back pulling her in even closer to him.

'Thank you for doing this Mark, I hate this part.' She whimpered as Mark took hold of her arm and gently placed the belt around her upper arm to help him to find a vein to draw the blood from, the seconds seeming like hours as Mark pressed her arm trying to encourage a vein to come to the surface.

Her face responded the moment the needle pricked the surface of her skin, and Derek reacted at once by moving his hand in soothing circles around her back as he lifted his head and pressed delicate kisses to her forehead to fill the void his own head had left.

'All done. How's that feel?' He whispered as he watched Mark release the belt and press a cotton wool pad to the sight of the needle. Derek's fingers responded at once and took marks role, holding the cotton firmly in place as he held her close, desperate for her not feel any pain.

'Feels good' she stammered as the pain radiated up her arm and she flinched a little in his grasp.

'Don't believe that Shep, she was a nervous wreck in here, never known a person be able to hide their veins as well as she did! It's an art form.'

'I hate needles.' She mumbled, a tear escaping from her wet pools as the enormity of the situation took hold.

'Hey...It's ok; it's over, no more needles.' He hummed in her ear, as he took her hand in his free one and gave her palm a gentle squeeze.

'I...I know…but it's far from over is it? How long does all this even take?'

'Mark? Derek stated, his eyes pleading with his brother to help calm Meredith's nerves.

'I've put Jane Doe on the bloods and I will run them up there myself and explain I need them back STAT to try and identify a patient, as long as it isn't Kristie on the window I will be fine.'

'Kristie? I thought you liked my sister?'

'I do…I do Mer...a lot…so much…this was before Lexie, when Kristie thought we were dating, but I was…being me…I dated a different girl every night of the week, how was I to know she worked two jobs and would spot me in a restaurant when I had told her I already had plans! Not my fault!'

'If you hurt Lex!'

'I won't I swear, Lexie is… I don't no what Lexie is but I do know it's different to anything I have ever felt before.'

'So we are good as long as it's not an ex conquest of yours.'

'Yes!'

'That doesn't fill me with much hope!'

'Relax Mer; it's going to be fine. Mark will get the results and send them off to the trial and then when we get an answer back we can decide on the logistics of all of this. It's going to be ok.'

'I hope so.'

'I know so!'

'you know you are a little pale their Grey, if I were you I'd go and get a cup of coffee with a few sugars in it or something, don't want you keeling over and ruining all of this yourself, ' Mark explained as he headed out of the door with the vials and information that he needed. 'Shep take care of your woman, I've don't my bit, it's up to you now.'

'You are a little pale Mark's right; we need to get a hot drink inside of you and maybe some food? Did you have breakfast?

'Couldn't eat, butterflies in my stomach or something, I felt sick just thinking about food.'

'That's probably part of the problem! Come on let's grab something quick and go and eat it outside?' he said softly as he stood up and offered her his hand, a gesture she returned at once as she stood shakily from the bed.

'Whoa…I've got ya.' He promised as he steadied her wobble and guided her towards the door, his hand never leaving contact with hers.

'What time have you got to get back to the fire house?' she asked as the pair joined the cafeteria queue, Meredith's eyes growing wide at the chocolate pudding staring at her from the chiller.

'Not till 9 tomorrow, explained I had some family business to attend and the Chief was fine with it…you're really going to eat that for breakfast?' he groaned as he watched her reach for and pick u the chocolate bowl.

'Sugar…I need sugar so yes I'm really going to eat it!'

'Anything else? You need to keep your strength up.' He stated as he picked up two sandwiches from the chiller nearest him, his eyes pleading with Meredith to pick one.

'have they got Turkey?' she smiled as he reached his left hand forward, a proud grin spreading across his face as he had known what she would want without being asked 'but I am eating this pudding first,' she laughed as she pulled off the foil lid and dug in before she had even made it to the cash desk! A move that left Derek shaking his head, laughing at the petite love of his life before him.

She had forgiven him and let him in…they were going to be ok.