Chapter 37
Frank had left earlier that evening and now he was left alone in his room to think as best he could with his mother popping her head in to check that he wasn't crying his eyes out. However hurt Gerard was feeling he was going to refuse to cry; he didn't want to give his father the pleasure of knowing that he'd hurt him as much as he had.
Gerard knew that Frank was right he couldn't do that to his own dad could he? What was worse was that every time he tried to accept his father's apologies he found that he couldn't as daddy dearest always found something to ruin it for him. He didn't want to believe that his dad was a monster, no one wants to believe that their parents are bad and Gerard knew for a fact that his dad wasn't bad at all, fucked up yes, in need of help also yes. But he still loved him. He knew it was weird but it was true he would never stop loving him because although it hurt him when he got beaten up and it probably scarred him deeply for life; he truly believed that some part of his dad was good. He also knew that he was never going to except another apology again. He knew that Frank still loved him and although it was probably a bit off putting knowing what had happened to him; that would wear off. He knew Frank, but then again he didn't. Frank had a whole other side to him, he knew about how Frank and his mother weren't getting on as well as they should and it made Gerard feel as if he was doing something wrong making Frank get into some sort of ongoing argument as well as the fact that he was feeling as if Frank was focusing too much time on him. It was as if Frank was doing all the work and Gerard was just tagging along, he wanted to know more about Frank instead of dating a wonderful personality without a history.
Gerard wanted Frank to be open to him because it made it harder for Gerard to be open, it might have been Frank's previous dating history that made it harder for him to get emotionally attached or it could just be how he was normally towards everyone. But he didn't want to be everyone he wanted to be one of the most important people in his life. However stupid it sounded it was what he wanted, the only worry he had was Franks way o changing his attitude towards things. How he suddenly stopped hating all that was homosexual and started to suddenly try and get him on a date. Thinking of how he had done that made the raven haired boy wish that he had the confidence to do things like that but on the other hand he was never really in the position to start giving strings of gifts in an attempt to get a date. He still felt disgusting and the horrific feeling of his father forcing himself upon him still stayed and the over whelming stench of alcohol hadn't washed out of his skin, he tried to think about a more happy experience instead of what he had faced. When this did work he decided to try and do something else, but when nothing came to mind he decided to ask Mikey. Mikey told him to go away at first until he told him the reason why he had come to him. Mikey couldn't come up with anything and Gerard was left back to the start. He couldn't decide what to think about; Frank or the recent events to do with his dad. In fact he didn't even want to call him dad; it felt like he was betraying himself every time he did so but at the same time he wanted to call him that because he wanted to show that he cared for him. Gerard put his head in his hands and tried to clear his head before lying down and trying to sleep.
The next time Gerard saw Frank was at school, well outside of the school, neither of them knew if they should go in or not. Fortunately or unfortunately for them a teacher spotted them and immediately marched up to them and started a miniature rant about respecting your elders; making Gerard tune out immediately. He started thinking about how stupid that rule was as adults didn't have to respect children; they could yell about all the shit they wanted and get away with it because they were supposed to know better, and admittedly they sometimes did but they also tended to get it wrong. Gerard was soon pulled back into reality when Frank took hold of his hand. He looked at him and soon felt himself lead back to the headmaster's office. They were told to sit down by the teacher who had taken them inside telling them to wait in the seats, much like before except this time neither of them felt tense. Frank because he really could give a flying fuck about what some old man had to say about him speaking up for himself, and Gerard just thought it was a waste of time trying to tell him how awful it was that he had let himself be led astray. He was lucky that neither of them were able to reproduce or one of them would be on constant pregnancy watch. Well at least there was a small plus side to being gay but that was only up to a certain point; the only problem was that if you wanted to have a child. But Gerard didn't want to think about children right now and he certainly didn't want to wait around for some jerk to come in and give a shitty lecture about whatever the hell he felt liked before being told to go back to class like nothing had happened. He knew that they weren't in any sort of trouble seeing as their parents hadn't been told they weren't to come back for a few days; probably meaning that they were being given a another chance. Gerard suddenly didn't want a second chance; he wanted to be told that he wasn't going to get a fresh start. He got up off his seat making Frank jump up with him thinking that something was wrong and Gerard didn't like the fact that Frank only thought he was doing this because there might be some sort of emergency.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Frank asked when he realised that there was no danger.
"Leaving."
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Frank really wasn't sure what his boyfriend was doing.
"I'll explain later" he said grabbing Frank's hand much like all the times Frank had when he had done something daring. He then lead him out the door quickly and ran into the main school area thinking that if they did that then the teachers would go to the entrance and give them a proper chance to escape. The only problem was that getting through the crowd of people was more difficult than expected probably because they were in a hurry.
"Where are you two going?!" a voice boomed. Suddenly every single pupil had moved away from them but for once Gerard wasn't scared.
"Not going to answer? I though not now get back in my office" neither boy moved.
"Frank it's bad enough that you've lead Gerard astray but now you're just hurting him the more you stand here so get in my office now" his voice became desperate as neither boy had moved an inch. But although Gerard wasn't showing it he was pissed. He couldn't believe that someone else had to get the blame for something he had done because they had done a few things before. Suddenly Gerard had an idea, now years of being beating up had come in handy; it had given him the ability to run very fast for short periods of time, although not a very sporty person when it came to running his body had learnt to adapt to these short sprints however bad he felt afterwards. He grabbed Franks hand and sprinted as fast as he could; letting go of his boyfriend after he knew that they were both running. They ran down a flight of stairs and towards a fire exit; opening it, setting off the alarm in the process before running out into the playing fields. Unfortunately they both forgot about the short cut that two teachers had taken to get to them although it wasn't like they could grab them but they knew if they got caught it wouldn't be good. Both boys got as much of their energy as possible to run right across the pitches knocking over cheerleaders and runners as well as two coaches. Gerard feeling extra daring that day stuck his middle finger up at them before running even faster. When Frank noticed this he ran to catch up and soon they had made it behind a sports shed but they weren't clear yet. There was a small gap behind the large row of seats which is where they had to go. There was a wall at the other side and although this wall went all around that side of the field it would make it easier for them to get over without being detected although there was a small gap, around nine meters or so, in which they would be out in the open they just had to get past that as quickly as possible. All they had to do was work on their timing and hop over the wall. They never did go through with this plan and ended up making a mad dash across the area and scrambling over the wall before leaning down against it knowing that they were out of view. The teachers had either given up a long time ago or had to help the injured who had been ploughed down in the process of what could only be described as a mental breakdown on Gerard's behalf. After catching their breath Frank suddenly had to ask.
"Why did we do that?" he panted.
"I wanted to be the one who did something stupid for once" it made it seem like it was obvious.