AN: I wanted to have this posted by my birthday which was on the 30th of October like I do every year but, that obviously didn't happen. Anyway thanks for sharing your location in the world everyone!
Short Stories with Tragic Endings
Kyle and Stan
Kyle
I slowly unlock the door with the extra key Bebe gave me. I don't want to alert her that I'm back. I don't want her to even know I was out. I feel kinda like a teenager who's trying to sneak back into their house undetected by their parents.
Closing the door carefully I let out a soft exhale when the door's been successfully locked without much noise. Halfway turned around I jump in surprise and let out a sharp, "fuck!"
Forcing my heard rate to decrease I flick on the light to the side and eye Bebe warily. "Do you like sneaking up on people?" I ask her as I slide past her to dump my basketball to the side. I hadn't even heard her!
"Sorry," she says softly.
"What's up?" I ask as if I didn't just try and fail to sneak back in her place.
She's quiet for a minute before speaking up. "I can't sleep," she finally says and I turn to face her as I peel off my jacket. It's incredibly hard to look her in the eye right now, but I manage and at once notice she has that dejected look on her face.
"Why, what's the matter?"
"Nothing different from the usual, but…my mom called while you were out."
"…yeah?"
"She and uh, she and Mrs. Marsh were talking earlier today. They want to know why they haven't seen me and Stan lately. I wasn't quite sure what to tell them. It only made me realize that I have a lot of people to tell. All those people we invited to the wedding and stuff…our friends and family."
With a tired sigh I plop down on the couch and Bebe does the same, taking the spot beside me.
"This sucks," she says after a moment.
Surprised by her choice of words I turn to glance at her. She's looking down at her lap before she meets my eyes. "Want to watch a movie?" she asks and I nod slowly. "Any suggestions?"
I glance at Bebe's collection of DVD's. They're all chickish flicks, except for one. I raise an eyebrow before turning back to look at her, "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?"
"I have a soft spot for Sean Connery."
I smile tiredly, "me too."
With that she places it in and we settle further into the couch. As the opening music starts Bebe asks without looking at me, "Where were you anyway?"
"Playing basketball with Stan," I tell her honestly. She doesn't look at me, but she doesn't seem surprised or confused at the idea that Stan and I got together at eleven at night to play basketball. In fact we both remain completely silent throughout the movie and the last thing I remember is the League entering Dorian Gray's house only to be ambushed…
When my internal clock wakes me up I notice a few things at once. That the television is off, that Bebe is gone, and that there's a heavy blanket draped over my body. Before I even get the chance to get my brain to completely wake up my cell rings and I dig it out from my pants pocket. It shouldn't be Chef as I have today off.
"Kyle?"
"Craig," I say back and yawn into the phone. "What's up?"
"I don't work today let's do something that friends are supposed to do outside of work."
I yawn again, "but I don't work today," I state as I lift the covers closer to my neck. It's freezing in here.
"I figured since you answered the phone."
"What I'm getting at is if I don't work today then you must."
"Dude don't you remember? Chef closed up shop for some…voodoo ritual thing he has to go to for his parents' sake."
"Oh," I remember him telling me that a few weeks back but I hadn't really been paying much attention. "His parents are still alive?"
"Yeah, so let's get together. Token can probably ditch work for a few hours too."
"Mhm," I rub my face into the arm of the couch. "Okay," I mumble. "What do you want to do?"
"Token's dad got the new advanced version of the Playstation 56, and some of the tester games. Want to fool around with those?"
"The new PS 56?" My head perks up. "But that's not supposed to be out for two more months."
"That's the perks of being friends with a ridiculously rich person. Be there in an hour okay?"
"I don't know how to get there."
"What do you mean you don't know how to get there?" He chides. "It's the giant house that overlooks the town, you can't miss it. Oh! And while we're all playing videogames you can tell me all about what happened with you and Stan the other day just like you promised! Later Kyle!" He ends our connection and I'm left staring at the phone's flashing minutes before I drop it on the side table perpendicular to the couch.
Stan…
I brush over my lips briefly before dropping my hand back down to its side. I don't want to think about Stan right now. Or Bebe for that matter, or how I'm going to muster up the balls to tell Bebe about me and Stan.
I definitely don't want to tell Craig about it…or Token, but I guess I did tell him I would so I can't really back out of it…or I could…no. Craig would just hound me. It's best to get it over with.
With that resolve I fling off the covers and stand up so I can take a shower and get ready to leave. Heading toward the bathroom my eyes land on a note taped to the wall left by Bebe. It just explains that she's at class and that she'll see me later tonight. Nothing more, but its when I realize that I haven't told her that last night was my last night here. Damnit. There's just too much on my mind right now!
Letting out a frustrated groan to myself I quickly hop in the shower and get ready faster than I ever thought I could. I feel like the faster I get out of here, the faster any thoughts of Bebe and Stan will vanish…at least for a bit of time until I'm confronted with Craig's goddamn nosiness.
When I'm out of the apartment, heading down the main road in South Park I look each and every way for this supposed "obvious" house that belongs to Token's family. I see nothing. Sighing in aggravation I pull the car over and extract my cell from my coat pocket. Deciding I might as well get a few breaths of fresh air I even step out of my car and lean on it as I dial for Craig.
He doesn't pick up and rather than leaving a message I hang up the phone, frowning at it. I don't think I have Token's number…I guess I could call Stan, but no. Bebe's surely busy…maybe Mercedes has his number. As I start to scroll down my contacts list I get the strong feeling that I'm being stared at.
Glancing up from what I was doing I peek around. No one seems to be directly looking at me. Everyone on the street seems to have their own destination in mind, whether they are alone, with associates, or with family members. No one looks to be paying any sort of special attention to me. Shrugging it off as nothing I go back to scrolling down my phone list, but the feeling of being watched never goes away and I stop and pointedly look around again, even twisting my body a little bit.
That's when I see him. Standing a few blocks away, on the other side of the street with one hand holding a Wall Street Journal is Eric Cartman.
It's hard to think that I've actually completely forgotten about him, even being back in South Park. Yes he was mentioned but rarely, and when I think about it I never actually SAW him. Not even when he should have been leaving Kenny's funeral. I had sort of been distracted with the thought of having showed up too late to really focus on who was leaving, then again I would have figured he would have said something to me…maybe he didn't recognize me.
But the way he's looking at me now, he definitely knows who I am. He more or less looks exactly the same, though older of course. The weight he had as a kid seems to have spread somewhat evenly over the rest of his body…but he's still on the fat side.
I wonder if anyone is watching us. We're just staring at each other, barely blinking and I'm not sure what I should do. It's not like I was ever friends with the guy, so there shouldn't be any heartfelt 'where have you been's', at the same time we DID hang out. Friends or not.
From here, he looks to be contemplating the same thing I am. Before I can think of a response, the shrill sound of my phone goes off and I jump before answering it.
"Hey what'd you call me for?" It's Craig, and my eyebrows furrow in annoyance as I glance downward at my shoes.
"You said Token's place would be noticeable. Well I'm downtown and I don't see it at all."
"Really?" he questions, actually sounding surprised.
"Rea-" I glance back toward where Cartman should be standing and stop mid sentence when I see that he's vanished. My eyes roam over the general area, but he's nowhere in sight and I no longer feel like I'm being stared at. I guess he had someplace to be. "Uh, anyway, just give me some normal directions," I finish to Craig.
He rattles off on how to get to Tokens and I head back into my car intent on getting there without any other stops. Though I noticed, as I pull into Tokens circular driveway, that while I had been focused on the road I had been looking out for Cartman. I almost want to cross paths with the guy, but just almost.
I don't see Craig's car anywhere as I park and walk toward the double doors. Knocking I wait patiently and when Token opens the door he looks fairly surprised and confused.
"Hey," he says.
"Hi," I respond and wait for him to invite me in.
"I didn't think you remembered where I lived."
"Craig told me."
He doesn't say anything but he nods, "was there anything in particular you wanted?" he asks as he steps back and allows me to enter his house.
"I thought Craig said to meet here so we could play your PS 56."
"Did he?" I hear Token's dry voice and watches as he closes the door. "He could have told me that."
I hold back a snort of laughter, "you mean he didn't clear it with you first?"
Before he can answer there's a loud and demanding knock on the door Token only just closed. He opens it with a sigh and Craig bounds in with a grin, "hey guys!"
"I was working," his friend says in way of a greeting.
"You probably need the break, and we haven't spent much time with Kyle lately so I invited him over as well."
"…I was working," he repeats as if that answers everything.
"And you probably needed the break," Craig pauses from taking off his jacket. "Right?"
I look over at Token seeing him frown. He doesn't nod in agreement, but he seems to relax and as he closes his front door again I notice Craig beam.
"You guys are an odd pair," I find myself saying. They exchange looks and Token snorts as he looks away while Craig grins and starts heading for a room toward the left.
"I could say that about you and Stan," Token responds as he keeps in step with me and as we follow Craig.
"I could say a lot about you and Stan. But let's start with the obvious. What happened with you two that day you were three hours late to work?"
Any amusement I just had about the two of them vanishes, "I thought we were here to play videogames?"
"That was just a cover up," Craig tells me laughing as he slides into a very long and very expensive looking couch. "Though we can play if you want." He glances over at Token whose arms are crossed as he leans against a column. "Can you get the console for us? I don't know where you keep it."
Token doesn't look happy at the idea of having to go fetch something in his own house but he does so without complaint. Craig watches after him and once it seems as if Token's completely out of earshot he turns back to me.
"You and Stan areokay though right? Nothing like how you guys started out? No fighting or anything right?"
I shake my head and see the instant relief on Craig's face. "Is that what you thought?" I ask.
He nods, "I really didn't want things to go back to how they used to be between you two. It was tense and awkward."
"I'll bet," I say remembering back to those times. Was it really only a few months ago? It seems like years ago.
"Anyway, so what happened?" he prods.
"You don't want to wait for Token?"
"Do you want Token to know; are you that comfortable with him?"
I think about it for a moment. "Not really…but I had been prepared to tell you both. I didn't want to exclude him and…it's not that big of a deal," I mutter the last part to myself.
"I'm sure Stan will indulge Token anyway. Besides he left us without a fuss for a reason, it'll probably take him a nice half hour to find that console even though he knows exactly where it is. So what happened?"
Deciding not to bother with trying to figure out Craig and Token's intricate and complex relationship I take a seat across from Craig, inhale a deep breath and start to tell him.
"Wait-" Craig stops me the second I've told him that Stan and I kissed. I really would have preferred if he had stopped anywhere else but there. "What kind of kiss? There are kisses on the cheek, European kisses, and like…swallowing each other's salvia kisses."
I furrow my brows in slight disgust, "I guess the third one then." I rub a nonexistent itch my shoulder and look away. My skin no longer has that healthy bronze California glow. I know its pale now, which makes my blushes easier to see.
"Whoa," he breathes out and leans back on the couch. "That's intense."
"It was," I murmur.
"Stan just attacked you?"
"He didn't…attack me," I muster out. "He just…"
"Got overly excited?"
"Carried away," I correct him. "But it's not like I wasn't just as eager you know?"
"So," he sits himself back up and fixes a hard stare at me. "What's that mean? What about Bebe, what are Stan and you going to do now? Are you guy's passionately in love or what?"
"We're not passionately in love, don't be so overdramatic."
"Okay, but what about the other questions?"
I bit my lip and try to avoid the intensity of his look, but he keeps staring at me so hard. "Well…we decided together that it'd be worth it to…to maybe explore what we're going through. But…"
"But?" he's practically leaning toward me the way he's absorbing all this.
"But you know how close I am with Bebe."
Craig leans back and gives me a confused look, "so?"
"So? So?! Dude, I can't…not with Bebe's fiancée!"
"Ex-fiancée," he emphasizes. "And Kyle so what?!"
"What do you mean so what?!" What he said makes me angry. "What would you do if you wanted to go out with Token's ex-girlfriend huh? You think you could ruin your friendship with your best friend for something that might not even last a few months?"
"Hm," he takes on a thoughtful look. "That's a good point, but do you really like Stan, if you don't love him?"
I rub my forehead with the palms of my hand before falling back into my own seat and looking up at the ceiling. "Yeah," I say. "Yeah I really like him."
"How much?"
How much? I'm not even sure how much. I just know that all our past animosity is long gone. I know that he makes me laugh, makes me feel comfortable, and that of course he's a brilliant cook. And I could talk about anything with him, from serious topics to the most irrelevant. Everyone who has ever met him, save my old childhood Californian friends, has always liked him. My parents love him, and Ike did too. We were childhood friends, he used to be my best friend, and while that doesn't count for too much now that we're older, it counts for something.
I mean, we're living together. Discovering each other's habits, and occasionally we get annoyed with each other's habits but it's not a big deal because it's him. I even find his lack of style cute and endearing, and I love the way he can give me a lopsided smile and shake his head at me when I've made a flub in the kitchen.
And when he touches me…that entire body part warms up, and I get this tingly sensation in the bottom of my stomach. It feels incredible and I hardly want it to end. When we had our first intense kiss I was slightly thankful that we were already on the floor because there would have been no way I could have held myself up. I know it sounds stupid, but for the first time ever I actually felt that whole 'weak in the knees' expression. It wasn't just lips touching lips, it was so much more than that. I didn't get the fireworks, or the explosions, but it felt right. It felt wonderful, and perfect, and I've never felt that way before. It was as if my system was a huge mess of butterflies and hurricanes. Soft, gentle, and fluttery, but my emotions were raging.
And that was just the kiss.
He's so compassionate, and caring, and his love for Kenny amazes me. I want to be as close to him as Kenny was, even more so. I don't think, I don't hope to ever replace Kenny. But I would love to know that if something were to ever happen to me that Stan would grieve just as hard. I just…I just…it's indescribable.
"I'll take your glassed over eyes as your answer," I hear Craig say and I pop out of my thoughts to look at him sheepishly. "If you like the guy that much, you might as well go for it."
The sinking feeling returns to my stomach, "but Bebe…"
"She'll get over it."
Craig and I look up at the sound of Token's dry voice. He's standing in the entrance to the room holding onto what must be the PS 56.
"How long have you been standing there?" I ask meekly.
"Long enough to see you drift off in your little trance."
"But what if Bebe…" I start again and he cuts me off. Even my own argument is starting to sound dull to my own ears. But I won't go back on asking Bebe's permission, no matter what these guys say. No matter what Stan says, or believes…or even what I personally believe.
"She will get over it Kyle," he says and bends down to set the console on the coffee table, before taking a spot next to Craig. "If Craig did that to me," he glances over at said friend who's studying him carefully. "I'd be pissed, I'd hate him probably…but we're best friends." He looks back over me. "And if he truly and honestly loved-"
"Strong like," I interrupt, feeling my cheeks redden again.
He waves it off and continues, "if he honestly liked her, him, whatever I'd eventually support it. It'd take awhile, but I think I could be fine with it in due time."
"You would?" I ask to reaffirm.
"Eventually, yeah. You have to support the people you care about, even if it hurts you in the end. If Bebe's really your friend she'll want you to be happy right?"
I nod slowly digesting what Token said, "I still want to ask her permission."
"You want to ask her permission?!" Craig almost yells, but Token gives him a look.
"Not something the average person would do," he mutters. "But it's admirable…in a self torturing kind of way. You're a good man Kyle Broflovski," he says smiling. "Now are we going to play a few games or what?" He asks turning his attention back to the console and away from me, which I greatly appreciate. I need the distraction, but as Token hooks things up I see Craig giving me a blank look. But I don't ask him about it, instead I pick up a controller and marvel over the new features of a system yet to be released.
-
"My God, I can't possibly wait two months for this thing to be released," I say as I dodge a hit from Craig. "Token you have to let me borrow this."
"And get sued? No thanks, my dad would kill me. In fact this has to stay between us four," he says and physically jumps back as if the attack is actually coming at him, rather than his character.
"Four?" Craig wonders as his tongue hangs out and as he bends with his controller.
"Stan's played this too," Token mentions and Craig nods his head in acknowledgement. "Fuck, Kyle move out of the fucking way!" Token protests talking more to the game than me.
"If I move, you win and hell if I'm going to let that happen!" I bite back. Just as I make a sharp move I hear the sound of my cell phone going off. "Damn," I swear. "Craig can you get my phone? It's on the couch."
"Me? It's your phone!"
"Yeah, but I'm winning right now and you're losing!"
"We'll just pause the game," Token says and before I can protest, the game freezes and I glare at him. I had just been about to win! "You black asshole," I growl and he only grins at me before hopping over the coffee table to pick up my phone.
"Hello?" he says into it. He pauses as he listens to the other end. "Ah, Stan…yeah Kyle's at my house, so is Craig. Sure, sure," he says before holding it out to me.
"Stan?" I say into the phone once I've secured it in my hands.
"Hey," he says lightly. "I passed by Cherry Kiss and saw that it was closed."
"Yeah, Chef has some family things to take care of today."
"Oh yeah, the voodoo ritual thing?"
I glance at the phone surprised, "yeah…that's what Craig said."
"Happens every year, don't ask. Anyway, what time are you coming home tonight?"
I'm officially tired of blushing today, but what he said sounds so natural and familiar. Like I'm really going home to my-, I stop my train of thought. "Ergh, whenever I guess. I still have to go back to Bebe's…in fact I still have to tell Bebe I'm leaving tonight, but that should be okay. So…maybe around six pm?"
"Six? How about seven instead?"
"Er, okay, but why does it matter?"
"I want to make you a welcome back meal, something you haven't had before."
I want to melt.
"You, you don't have to do that," I stutter out and turn away from Token and Craig's inquisitive faces.
"I want to," I can practically hear him smile into the phone. "I'll make lots too, and lots to choose from."
"But I wasn't gone for that long," I mutter.
"Kyle?"
"Yes?"
"Let me do this for you."
"'Kay," I say back quietly.
"Good, I'll see you at seven pm tonight."
"Right," I say and he disconnects our phone call.
"What did he have to say, you look kind of pale?" Token questions.
"…do you guys maybe want to come over tonight for dinner?" I ask slowly.
Stan
"Mr. Zanadaci, we're out of pickled garlic!" I yell to the side as I continue to slice sheets of egg.
The restaurant is currently a zoo. We have a large order of our most difficult dishes and two people called in sick. Sick my ass. Mr. Zanadaci just grated on their last nerve. Kinda like he is now with me.
"Then make some appear!" he barks back.
This is he first time in quite a few weeks where his presence was actually needed in the kitchen. I've been doing a fairly good job at keeping things running smoothly, or at least I must be as he hasn't said anything to me otherwise.
I stop my slicing and growl down into the counter. Make pickled garlic appear?! Something that specific doesn't just appear!
"Mr-" he cuts me off by throwing me a glare and jutting his head toward the office. That's my cue to get some money, get in my car and go for a treasure hunt. Which at this point I'm more than willing to do before he remembers that he needs my skills and has someone else do it. Anything to get a fucking breather!
I do as I'm told, grab the amount, and leave all while ignoring the envious gazes of my co-workers.
As I hop in my car, chef jacket still on I wonder exactly where I'm going to get pickled garlic. It's not the easiest thing to come by, it's not like pickles. It's a specialty item and Mr. Z always gets them shipped in from some organic market in Denver. But never mind that, I have to find some and some fast. I probably have about an hour before they'll be needed, but as I check out our two local grocery stores and even a mom and pop one that's a block away I start to feel slightly anxious.
This town, does NOT have pickled garlic. Shit.
But seeing as how freaking out changes nothing I try to think. So I can't get pickled garlic, no if ands or buts about that. I'll need an alternative. Either way my boss will be pissed, but once the hype in the restaurant dies down he'll come to his senses and realize that there was nothing I could do about the lack of pickled garlic in our area.
In the meantime I need him to be appreciative later about what I could come up with. Now then…I look around at downtown South Park. What's similar to pickled garlic?
Ugh, I hang my head. Nothing. That's the answer. There is nothing similar. I'm just going to be screwed that's all. This isn't turning out to be one of those good days.
"Stan?"
I almost bite my tongue. This is most definitely not turning out to be one of those good days. I turn around and try not to sigh in exasperation. It's not like it's Bebe's fault that my day is already bad and that the last thing I want to see is her.
"Hi Bebe," I respond and realize that I sound somewhat awkward.
I watch her shift her footing, "what are you doing around here?"
"Work stuff," I say and cringe at the thought. "I'm trying to find pickled garlic, I don't suppose you know where I can find some?"
She shakes her head, "can't you just make some?"
"Not unless you can give me three months," I say somewhat bitterly.
"Oh."
Bebe and I stand across from each other in silence for awhile not looking at each other, but luckily for me I do have an excuse as for why I'll have to cut this uncomfortable meeting short. But before I can say something she beats me to it.
"So how've you been?"
"Huh? Oh…good, I mean…" I sigh. Is she testing me? "I'm fine Bebe, how about you?"
"Alright…" she suddenly narrows her eyes as she looks at me, but it's not out of suspicion. It looks like she's trying to examine something on my face carefully, but her eyes are locked on mine so I can't imagine what she's looking for.
"You look different."
"I do?" I ask confused as I run a hand through my hair, and subconsciously pull on a loose thread from my chef jacket. "I haven't cut my hair or anything…I should look exactly the same from when you saw me last."
"It's not that…it looks kinda like…" she trails off and I see this dawning break onto her face, and it's not a happy dawning. Her shoulders slowly begin to slump and I see…something in her eyes, in her heart, break all over again. You would think I was dumping her again, right this moment the way she's acting.
"Bebe?" I say carefully, wondering if she's okay.
"Oh, sorry," she suddenly says and starts to turn away. "I should let you get back to work…" she casts a glance at the sidewalk. "Bye Stan," she says in such a final voice that I have half a mind to grab her and demand her to explain what suddenly happened in five seconds to make her act like this.
But as much as I would like to stay Bebe's friend in the long run, I don't think it's something she wants. And it might be better to let her go until she's ready to come back to me.
"Uh, see you later Bebe," I say finally. I watch her walk off for awhile, which is probably something I shouldn't do, but just when it seems like she's about to disappear from my sight she turns back around.
"Let's not get married Stan," she calls out and I pale. She's attracted a good portion of downtown, all of whom have more or less known us both since birth. "Not if you don't love me anymore…"
Not knowing what to do, I only nod my head and like that she vanishes and I'm left standing like the guy left at the alter…even if it was my decision to begin with. It's weird, because it was my decision to end us. But having watched her retreating back was sort of like watching a part of myself walk away. It's completely bittersweet, and I really will miss the times I shared with Bebe being the happy, loving couple. Part of me even misses the kids we didn't get to have. But at the same time…
I turn and head back to my car.
If I hadn't lost Bebe, I never would have gained Kyle. And to me, he's worth more. It's as simple as that.
When I roll back into the restaurant, completely empty handed, not having been able to think of anything Mr. Zanadaci looks at me silently for a moment. Instead of lecturing me as I thought he would he only grunts and points to four dishes that that need a look over before they're ready to go onto the floor.
"I never liked pickled garlic anyway," I think I hear him mutter, but it could really be my imagination.
As I look over the four completed dishes, one being rack of lamb, another seared tuna, one a pasta dish, and the last an appetizer I decide that I want to make something incredible for Kyle tonight when he comes back. Obviously he's had some pretty good things from me before, I always go above and beyond what's necessary for dinner. But this is going to be our first dinner together since he's been at Bebe's. And okay, he hasn't been gone long, but this is something I suddenly really want to do.
Remembering Bebe's saddened look I want to end the day with looking at a happy one, and nothing makes Kyle happier, or makes him drool more than something I've made. And I really want to see that, him happy that is. Smiling at the thought I pick at a few things on the plates before giving my nod of approval to a hovering waiter to take away.
I feel slightly nervous at the thought of Kyle and I having dinner together alone since he left. The words romantic dinner date float in my head, but I'm quick to push them aside. It doesn't have to be romantic; it's just about me spending time with Kyle. That's all.
-
At the harsh knock I jump and almost drop the ladle I had been using to stir. Wiping my hands on my pants and I look around at everything in the kitchen to be sure nothing will need my direct attention for the next few minutes as I help Kyle bring in his bags. I assume that's why he didn't let himself in.
I've been working on dinner since I got off of work. Of course I had to get Mr. Zanadaci's permission to leave early, but luckily he seemed too exhausted to question my request and merely waved me off.
Kyle knocks again, this time a bit more impatiently and I hurry a bit more to the door.
"Why didn't you just set your bags dow – what the hell are you guys doing here?" I ask crossly staring at Craig and Token.
"That's not a nice way to greet your friends," Token says as he bypasses me into the apartment. Craig gives me a cheeky grin and follows him. Closing the door slowly behind them I try my best to leave my lip uncurled.
"Fine then," I start tersely. "Hey guys, hope you're doing well, so then why are you in my apartment?"
"We're here for Kyle's homecoming," Craig states as he sits himself down on my couch.
"You're what?" I ask deadpanned.
"He means we're here for the food. Rumor has it you've cooked up a storm this evening and we'd like to be part of it."
"I…don't recall inviting you two," I point out. "And who did you hear those rumors from?"
"From me."
The three of us turn our heads to see Kyle dragging in his bag through the front door.
"Did you knock?" I question as I rush to help him. "And…for someone who was gone only a couple days your bag sure is heavy."
"I'm not really good at the whole packing light thing," he says sheepishly and swats my hand away. "I can carry it fine by myself. If you want to be of help, get that food on the table I'm starving and it all smells incredible. As usual." He says grinning and I frown at him.
"You could have told me you invited them."
"By them, I think he means us," I hear Token say and I choose to ignore him.
"You said you were making more than enough food on the phone…besides we haven't all hung out since…umm…" he struggles to remember.
"The infamous Nuggets game," Craig supplies. "It's been that long since the four of us have been in the same area together."
"Exactly. I thought it'd be fun," Kyle finishes.
Kyle's bangs are blocking his eyes from me as he fumbles around with something on his bag.
"Is that really the reason?" I mutter to him, trying to be sure that Token and Craig don't hear. Though I know their ears must be glued to our conversation since I don't hear them talking.
"One of them, yeah," he responds and brushes his curls from his eyes. He smiles at me. "I'm looking forward to the welcome back meal."
I raise a questionable eyebrow at him, "hmm, I'll get back to it then," I turn to our uninvited yet invited guests. "I guess you guys can stay."
"So charitable as always Staney."
"Do you want to stay or do you want me to throw your ass out?" I bark at Craig.
Both Token and Kyle laugh and I'm startled at the feel of Kyle patting me gently on the back, even going as far as to rub my back in small quick affectionate circles. I glance at him and he seems to have realized what he's been doing and instantly pulls his hand away, blushing furiously.
"Shit," he mutters. "I'm going to go…take my stuff to my room. Craig, help me," he orders rather than asks.
Craig jumps up, obviously surprised from Kyle's tone of voice and does as he says by grabbing his bag and allowing Kyle to lead him to his room.
"I thought he just said he didn't need help," I murmur to myself as I watch the two of them enter Kyle's room. The door shuts behind them and I have half a mind to open it back up.
"Is it odd that they're getting closer?" Token's voice asks and it stops me from barging toward Kyle's room. "I think it is, but then again they do work together. I think those two see more of each other than they do us."
"Probably," I say still eyeing the door.
"Let's go in the kitchen," he says and pushes me slightly in its direction. "Nice," he says appreciatively as he looks around and as I head back to check on the pot I had been stirring earlier.
"What is?"
"The kitchen, the apartment…that window."
"Haven't you been here before?"
"Um…no," he says bluntly. "You two have been pretty good at keeping this little diamond between the two of you."
"Sorry," I say not in the least bit sorry. "Do you want to help me with the finishing touches on the food?" I ask as I open the fridge to look for a certain seasoning.
"Why not, just tell me what to do."
"I don't suppose you know the fine art of chopping vegetables?" I ask as I toss him a bag of carrots.
"It's not rocket science," he answers. "Cutting board?" He asks and I point him in the direction of one. He starts cutting and I eye him ready to reprimand him for his lack of skill, but he surprises me.
"You know what you're doing," I say shocked.
"It's justcutting carrots. Just because my family has money doesn't mean I don't know how to cook you know."
"Hm," I say thoughtfully as I snag a carrot and toss it in my mouth. "Kyle can't boil water, literally. It boiled over and got on everything, and he set a fire in the microwave. For some reason he's completely jinxed in the kitchen."
Token turns his head slightly to glance at me before going back to his carrots, "that so?"
"Yeah, it's seriously cute how helpless he is," I pause in chewing, and Token pauses in cutting.
He suddenly snorts and I realize he's holding back laughter. "Now I see why we were invited."
"What?!"
"Poor Kyle probably didn't want to be jumped by you. He's probably too afraid of being alone with you on his first night back."
"Dude…not funny."
"I think it is. Oh! To completely change the subject, before I forget," he says, his laughter dying immediately. "I don't know why Kyle's decision to not be alone with you reminded me about this but, I've been meaning to call you about it. Anyway, I saw Cartman the other day."
"And?" I question nonchalantly and add a few more seasonings to the pot.
"He's going around asking questions. Turns out he's been doing that ever since Kenny died."
"…questions aboutwhat?" I wonder and turn to stare point blank at Token. "Last I heard he was finally doing what's better for him, keeping his fat nose out of other people's business."
"That's when youlast heard; he's not being so sly anymore."
I tap a few fingers on the counter, "stop beating around the bush Token, what's he asking about?"
"Kenny."
"Alright what's that supposed to mean, what about Kenny?"
"Kyle and I are finished with our heart-to-heart, how about you two?" Craig asks, and both Token and I turn to see Kyle and Craig approaching us. Craig's grinning, and Kyle's looking at him in annoyance.
"Yeah we're done," Token says as he quickly finishes cutting the carrots in clean even strokes.
"We are not done," I growl out softly glaring at him.
"I don't have anything more to say," he says calmly. "That's all I know."
"All you know about what?" Both Craig and Kyle question together looking back and forth at the two of us.
"Never mind," Token says and leans over me to grab a hold of a salad bowl I had previously started filling with vegetables. "Let's eat," he adds as he drops the carrots he had been dealing with into the bowl.
Hanging back I watch as Token sets the bowl on the small yet efficient dining table Kyle and I got over three months ago. He orders to both Craig and Kyle to get the food that I've finished, including the pot that's now just simmering to keep the heat, and a dish that's just now finished from the oven. Token even brushes by me to get some cut up bread and makes sure Craig grabs some drinks from the fridge.
"Ugh, don't you ever drink anything other than root beer?" Craig asks as he bends down to study the interior of the fridge.
"There's tap water if you want," I hear Kyle say and Craig reluctantly agrees to having a pop.
I eye the guys as they plant themselves down at the table. It's square, so there's no head or end of table. Kyle's sitting in his usual seat divvying out the silverware, and by divvying I mean tossing it towards the plates and narrowly avoiding the other guys. Craig's looking back and forth between the bread and the salad. Not doubt trying to decide which can get in his stomach faster, and Token is spreading out a napkin on his lap looking like the over privileged kid he's always been.
When it seems everyone's settled down three pairs of eyes turn to look at me expectantly.
"Well?" Token questions.
"Are you going to just stand there?" Craig asks.
I guess there's no point dwelling on what Token was going to tell me. If there really was anything more, he would have told me, not brushed it aside. It's been months now since Kenny's accident and the fact that Cartman's just now raising his head from the sand doesn't surprise me…but it shouldn't bother me either. There's nothing he can do if he's learned about his will, which no doubt he has. He can't break it, so if that's what he's asking about he's shit out of luck. The best thing to do right now is forget all about him and have, what's no doubt, one of my best dinners, with my friends.
Kyle
"I thought you were going to give Bebe a week before you talked to her about us," he rubs the back of his neck and I play with my flip phone.
"I know. I was, but…" I trail off. I can't say I changed my mind because being back with Stan's got my hormones all over the place. That it's getting too hard to calm myself down and remember why we're not moving along faster. That idealistically the faster I ask Bebe for her permission the faster I can just give in to temptation. "I want to get it over with," I end up saying.
I've only been back in our apartment for two days, but two days has been more than enough for me to be frustrated with the mounting physical frustrations. Being alone with Stan is as bad as I had thought it would be the day he called me about making a huge dinner for me.
I had instantly asked Token and Craig along, hoping it'd quell whatever it was that I might have done had they not been there. And it did work, and Stan was annoyed but accepting, but they couldn't live here with us until I asked Bebe's permission.
I should know, I asked Craig.
I had forced him to help me carrying my things into my room and had quickly demanded he spend the night for a few nights. He laughed, of course, and said a blunt no. We argued about it for awhile before Craig told me that if I didn't let that idea go that he would tell Stan we were even having that conversation. I had grudgingly agreed.
And it hadn't been sobad. But it hasn't been good either. Every time we were in a room together we looked at each other and I know he was finding it as hard as I was to simply not touch the other. The staring, the needing to touch, the pheromones…I'm surprised I lasted two days. I could have given in, I wanted to, but every time I even thought about it Bebe's face would pop into my head. I planned on giving Bebe more time, more time to heal and get over Stan's rejection but…I can't fucking stand it anymore.
"…wait a few more days," he says suddenly.
I look at him surprised. He's not meeting my eye and he's looking off into the distance to avoid my eye.
"Why? You're the one who…I figured you'd prefer if I got it over with."
"I'd prefer if we didn't ask for her permission at all. But I know it's important to you," he rushes out when I scowl slightly. "And it's just…I saw her a couple days back so she might be a little sensitive right now. More so than usual."
"But she'll always be sensitive when it comes to you. Maybe not forever, but probably for a long time. Besides, for some reason I have the courage to tell her right now and seeing as how I don't know when or if I'll get it back I should tell her now."
"…if that's what you want to do."
I nod, "it is." Without another word to each other I dial Bebe's number and Stan watches as I do so. She picks up a little late, probably just before it was about to go to her voicemail.
"I'm so glad you called," she says right off the bat, and I can tell from that short sentence that she's been crying again.
"Bebe, what's wrong?" I ask worriedly.
"It's Stan, I…" she sniffs. "Can you come over right now or are you busy?"
I shake my head slowly, realizing she can't see that. "No, I'm not. In fact I…" I glance at Stan but he's turning away and walking himself over to the couch. "I wanted to get together with you anyway. I have something to tell you."
"Okay," she sucks in a dry sob and it makes me wince. "Let's meet at Stark's Pond. I don't want to be in my apartment."
"Starks…Pond?" That's kind of…public. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, please Kyle?"
"That's fine with me Bebe, I just…wouldn't you rather talk somewhere private if you're upset?"
"Yeah, but I can't think of any other place that isn't filled with memories of me and Stan. He and I hardly went to the pond together so it seems like a good spot. Can you leave now and meet me there?"
"Sure, I'm practically out the door," I say before she sniffs again and thanks me after saying goodbye to me.
I don't move a muscle as I look over to where Stan is. "What did…what did you guys talk about when you met earlier? She seems really upset, she's crying and…what did you two talk about?"
He doesn't say anything for a second and I have half a mind to strangle him for it, but I suddenly realize that I don't want to know. If I know I wont tell Bebe about my situation with Stan and while it's not ideal for me to add to her pain…I can't hold it in anymore now that I've already resolved to tell her today.
"You know what, never mind," I tell him. "I don't want to know, she'll tell me anyway." I take in a deep breathe and try to pretend that I'm not shaking from nervousnes. "Guess I'll get going then."
"Kyle?" He suddenly says and I meet his eyes expectantly. He looks worried, and tired, and anxious, and everything I am. Which is no wonder. Our outcome will all depend on what's going to happen within the next hour. When I come back to face him I'll have Bebe's answer, I'll know what I'll have to do…whether or not I like it.
"I um," he starts before sighing. "I don't know what to say," he says and I swallow a lump in my throat.
"Then I'll see you in a bit," I say and he nods more to himself than me. His dejected blue eyes are the last thing I see before I turn away to leave our apartment and head for Starks Pond.
-
I arrive first and plant myself far off to the side that's a bit more secluded. An area that's away from the children and their play. Bebe arrives, it seems, only a moment later. It would appear that as if seeing me is some sort of trigger for her because at once when we lock eyes hers start to well up and tears fall down her cheeks.
I scoot over to allow her room next to me and without a word she sits herself down so that our shoulders are touching.
"Bebe?" I question softly, curiously.
She seems to be searching for the correct words because more than once her mouth opens before she promptly shuts it. And just when I hear the first syllable of a word form in her mouth, more tears fall from her eyes.
"There's someone else," she finally says. I say nothing in return. "That's probably why he…I never thought he'd…another woman," she breaths out clearly still trying to understand her own words.
"…Is that what he said?"
"No, he never said anything of the sort but…Stan and I ran into each other yesterday. It was…awkward, but I was trying. I asked how he was, and he said he was fine and then I noticed right away because…I know him, so I noticed right away that there was something very different about him. I said so too, and he just looked confused and said everything was pretty much the same with him, so he couldn't have changed and I said…I said, no, there is something different about you. Kyle, he looks…he looks amazing. He was glowing from the inside, something is making him really happy…and it's not me, and I know that look. I know he found someone else…already, its so soon. But the look on his face made me realize that he probably doesn't know how he looks either."
I am so glad Bebe's too focused on what she saw in Stan to pay any attention to me this moment because I can feel my heart hammering against my chest, and I can feel the redness overwhelm my face.
"He never looked the way he does now when he was with me. Never." She presses her back into the bench and I'm relieved that she isn't looking to me for physical comfort. I couldn't hug her right now, I'd feel like too much of a bastard if I tried to comfort her.
I expect her to go on, but she doesn't. She remains silent, looking down, occasionally looking up and across the pond. I watch her tuck a few blonde wavy strands behind her ear. She still looks tired, dejected and sad. She looks sad the most. I look down and twiddle my thumbs, wondering how long we can sit in silence before she asks me what it is I called her for.
"I'm sorry Kyle, you said you had something you wanted to tell me too, what was it?" She asks me finally. I look up and meet her sunken eyes. Even with what she's going through there's still concern in them, concern for me. It only makes me feel worse. I almost want to drop it, and forget about why I asked her out. But when Stan's face flashes in my head, when I see that apprehensive look in his eyes as he watched me leave, I know I need to. Not just for him…but for me too. The way he looked, it was as if he expected me to back out, to choose friendship with Bebe over a relationship with him.
It's rather ironic, because isn't this what he did with choosing Kenny over Bebe? Someone somewhere, is having a laugh at our expense.
"Bebe," I start, stop, and drop my head into my hands.
I can't do it. I can't do this to her, she's been hurt enough.
"Hey what's wrong?" She asks me quietly and I feel as she starts to rub my back gently.
"I like Stan," I blurt out in my hands. Her rubbing of my back doesn't stop.
"I know you do. I know you guys are friends and I don't want you to choose sides," she tells me gently.
"No Bebe," I look up and her hand drops back down to her side as we make eye contact. "I like Stan," I repeat stressing the word so she understands.
She leans back away from me, her eyes furrowing in confusion as she studies me. "And Stan likes me back," I add and grab a hold of both her hands, so she'll stop leaning so far away from me. "I don't want to hurt you Bebe, and I'm so sorry."
"You're the other woman?" She asks wondrously.
"No Bebe, no," I quickly shake my head, even though in a sense I am the other woman.
"…Stan dumped me…for you?"
"Bebe, I said no! When Stan broke up with you it had nothing to do with me at the time. We didn't even realize…what we felt…until later. I promise," I rush out.
She pulls her hands slowly from mine and looks away from me. "Okay, jokes over Kyle. It's not funny."
A shot of pain hits somewhere inside me, "it's not a joke Bebe. I really, he and I…."
"I said jokes OVER Kyle!"
"It isn't a joke!"
"How can it not be?!" She turns back to look at me, her eyes blazing. "When could you two…how…you're both…and you're childhood friends and roommates! You're here because of something that shit faced Kenny set up, you're not…you guys don't…"
"Bebe…" I reach out a hand to touch her shoulder, but she tenses and I pause in my action and drop my hand back to my side. "There's a lot that…that just happened and we're not even sure how."
"Stop saying we're! You and Stan are not a we're, stop speaking for him!"
I clamp my mouth shut and don't say anything. We sit in silence again for awhile, and while I do want to speak I don't dare. I want her to make the next move, luckily she doesn't fail me.
"How long has this…thing supposedly been going on?" her voice sounds mildly bitter, but I ignore it to answer her question.
"We'r- I mean, I'm not entirely sure," I say softly. "There were times when…" I stop when I realize there's no reason to tell her the specifics about anything right now. She just needs to know the raw facts. "I think I've felt something for…at least a month that I can consciously remember."
"…a month?" she says just below a whisper. "Then all that time we spent together…when I was crying to you about Stan, and even asking you to help me get him back…you were happy Stan and I weren't working out? Did you two huddle together and laugh over how I was being played?"
"You're being ridiculous…" I mutter and want to slap myself the second I say that. Good thing Bebe does it for me. It's sharp, hurts, and I didn't see it coming. She's breathing hard, and looking far more angry than sad. Sadness isn't even displayed on her face, just anger and betrayal. The one thing I had been specifically trying to avoid.
"Don't tell me," she starts out. "That I'm being ridiculous when I've just now learned the person who I thought was my friend was fucking around with my fiancée!"
I don't bother to correct her on the fiancée part. "We haven't been "fucking around" behind your back," I do tell her. There might have been a few kisses, but nothing went past that as much as I wanted it to, I made sure it never did. "But I…" her eyes harden at the word 'but'. "I do…really like him Bebe. A lot, but you are my friend and as such…I'm only going to do this with Stan if you're okay with it," I tell her quietly. "Only if you say I can, only if I can have your permission."
"Then no," she answers passively, staring hard at me. "I'm not okay with it, so you can't."
I feel a catch in my throat, and my hands go dry.
"Do you still really want to have my permission after hearing my answer?" Bebe asks, and I nod slowly.
"Yes, and I understand…" I whisper out, looking back down at my hands. "And I won't."
I hear her stand, but I don't bother to look up. I can feel her looking at me but she doesn't say anything and I hear her footsteps walk away from me without Bebe saying a word to me. Which is fine since I can't think of anything else to say anyway.
When I return home I find myself standing outside of the door. I'm trying to think of what to tell Stan when I see him. Taking a deep breath and deciding to wing it I open the door and walk in. Stan was probably sitting watching television, but as I walk in he jumps from the couch and flicks off the screen.
I close the door slowly behind me and look at his anxious face. He takes a hesitant step toward me and I hold out my hand to stop him, before he hugs me, or kisses me. I can't tell what he was planning.
"She said no," I tell him softly, idly fingering the part of my cheek where Bebe's slap hurt the most.
"Which means what for you and me?" He asks, but from the look on his face I feel like he already knows. But of course he knows, so I wonder why he asked it.
"That means no for us too."
"Kyle-"
"She's my best friend Stan. I finally after eleven years can call someone that..." I smirk tiredly. "Hypothetically Stan, if you had to pick Kenny or me, and you couldn't have us both, who would you pick?" I'm about to bypass Stan and head for my room when he grabs my elbow, forcing me to look back at him.
"You of course! Kenny would understand and if he didn't…I'd make him."
I give him a pained expression before pulling my elbow from him and retreating to my room. A few moments later as I begin to tell myself that I had to know this was coming, I hear the sound of him leaving through the front door.
And then once he's left I fall face first into my bed and start to tell myself that I'm stupid for wanting permission from someone who will never give it.
-FG
AN: I finally got around to doing what I was probably going to do anyway, XD. I am going to write the side story to this one on who killed Kenny. I was hounded by enough of you to convince me to write it, which made me laugh. It's called A Foreseeable Death, and it's already posted for those who are curious about Ken's passing. My lips are sealed tight on who killed Kenny and why, and they intend to stay that way. :)