November of 1945

Living on a ship gave you a lot of time to get your shit together. I'll admit, the first week I carried on like I had while on missions. Filling my days and nights with research and planning, doing anything and everything I could to keep my mind off of the uncertainty of the future. Once that week was up thought, I found myself burning out. The ship was only so big, there was only so much room, there was only so many people, and there were far too many hours in the day. In the end I was camping out on the bridge to watch the search equipment, taking the 'a watched pot doesn't boil' saying to a whole new level. It wasn't till Howard got me reminiscing did I realize what I needed to do.

The week Steve and I spent in New York for our honeymoon mostly consisted of him showing me his life in Brooklyn. The art store on the corner where all the employees knew his name and squirreled away things that they thought he might like. The diner by the shipyards that he and Buck would meet for meals after long shifts. The Irish-Catholic church his family had always considered a second home, the community going out of their way to look after Sarah and Steve when Grant Rogers died. After he showed me the little apartment he grew up and then the apartment he had shared with Buck, he took me to the cemetery. With two bundles of flowers in hand I met my in-laws. While their plots were in a beautiful spot it had shocked me when I saw the white wooden crosses that served as their grave markers. I had asked Steve about while we were leaving, and he had admitted that they had never had the money to afford anything nicer. In that moment I knew what I had to do. With Howard's help I was able to purchase a rather large slab of Connemara marble from Ireland. It took months to for it to reach the states and by the time it did everything else had fallen apart. A warehouse in Queens had been its home till now. Despite my dislike for it, I had to thank my military training for getting this done without losing my mind. Everything was coordinated over the phone and through the mail, a process that look a maddeningly long amount of time, but when it was over I couldn't have been happier. The green marble had been carefully carved into two Irish crosses, the basses displaying their names, who they were to people, their ranks, and the words 'Together In The Stars'. I had wrestled with that part, about whether or not I had the right to add something personal like that, but the story Steve had told me about his mother's belief in the stars had spurred me on. They mailed me pictures once the stones were in place and promised to take extra care with the grave maintenance.

Winifred and Rebecca Barnes had taken a special place in my heart, just like Bucky had. Though I had only met them both once, the pair happily attending the wedding, the night spent in their company had the same effect on me as Buck had. The strength of Winifred's spine had been the first thing that impressed me, having spent the majority of Rebecca's life as a widowed mother, she knew how to survive in a world that didn't want her to. The absolute sweetheart that was Becky Barnes was anther testament to Winifred. Much like Sarah Rogers, Winifred Barnes had earned respect and love, and who was I to deny her them? I was ashamed when I realized that I had forgotten them in my grief. Ashamed that I hadn't thought about what others had lost too. A little brainstorming and some help from Howard, I was able to do what I thought was right. The Barnes' lived in a two-story brownstone in a slightly better part of Brooklyn. George Barnes had been better off than most after the depression and managed to keep a hold of the family house. When he died Bucky split his time between school and the docks, working his ass off to help his Ma put food on the table. When he graduated high school he didn't go to college like he had originally planned, instead, he took as much work at the docks and the metals factory as he could. When he joined the military all his wages went back to them. With him gone, there was a struggle. Paying off the mortgage was easy enough, as was setting up the college fund for Becky, both explained in the letter I sent to Winifred. By the time it would get to her it would be well past the point of her being able to no accept it. Sure, it was a little underhanded of me to do it that way, but I knew she'd never accept it if I asked. It was the monthly allowance that was going to be tricky. Again, I applied some underhanded tactics and included in the letter that I had promised Buck to look after his family. It wasn't a complete lie since I had made that promise, it had just been to myself and not to Bucky. It took several correspondences between the two of us before she would accept it all, telling me that there would always be a place in the family for me when I needed it. I wasn't a bit afraid to tell her that I already did.

Howard had to stop me when I tried to buy Steve and Buck's apartment building.

September of 1945

"Please tell me you're not buying a hospital."

Having heard his heavy footsteps coming down the hallway, I wasn't startled by his sudden appearance. "Don't worry, I'm not buying a hospital," I reassured, shuffling the papers around before finding the one with the proposal and holding it out to him. "I'm building one."

Howard took the folder and actually took the time to read it over. "The Sarah Rogers Memorial Hospital?" he asked with a pointed look. "You can't be serious, El."

I frowned up at him. "What? I thought it was a good name. Isn't that what you're supposed to do when it's dedicated to someone?"

"Yeah, that's what you do, but this stupid, El."

"It's not stupid, Howard, the hospital Sarah used to work at was shut down due to city budget cuts. My plan is a privatized hospital, in Brooklyn, with a free clinic attached."

Howard's face twisted into something close to disgust. "That's..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "El, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but this is a bad idea."

"Care to explain why?" I pressed, doing my best not to take it the wrong way.

"Hospitals are great if you want to make money," he started, dropping his gaze back to the proposal, "but that's not what you're trying to do. A free clinic would only work if you were making money in the other parts of the hospital, which you're not going to do because I know you. You're a bleeding heart, you won't make anybody pay, which means you're going to have to foot the bill and- again, don't take this the wrong way- but you're not that well off."

It was at that moment that I realized how little Howard knew about my family. "Howie, the Howlett's were landowners, and when I saw landowners I mean they owned most of Alberta and Northwestern Territories in Canada. My grandfather ran a successful fur trapping company thanks to land rights and good rapport with the local natives. My father continued to run the business while also branching off into railroads, both building said railroads and selling off the land they ran through. When my father died my mother continued it with help from the board. When she died the board took over, all reporting to a lawyer I hired to make sure they keep the families interest in mind. After the Civil War we branched out into lumber, setting up a mill and several logging camps. We practically supplied all the wood that rebuilt the U.S. During prohibition my brothers' and I help fund various bootleg operations, not to mention all the work I did with Al Capone. I even managed to avoid the stock market crash."

His shocked expression spurred me on."

"So yes, Howlett Corporations is going to open a privatized hospital with a free clinic. There's also going to be a Rogers Crisis Center and several Bucky Barnes Scholarships to NYU. There's also going to e a facility, kind of like a rehabilitation center, for people who suffer from Shell Shock or other injuries sustained during combat, but that one is for me."

He floundered for a moment as he struggled to think of something to say. "You-you're," he cut off with a frustrated sigh. "What the fuck, El?"

I let out a small laugh and snatched the proposal from his hand. "You never asked and I never told," I mused, "but come on, Howie, didn't you think it was weird that your anonymous investor would donate after we'd talk about one of your new projects?"

"That was you?!"

"Howlett Corporations is very interested is seeing where Stark Industries leads the world," I answered with a proud smile. "You've been a great bet so far. Keep up the great work."

"What. The. Fuck."

"Howard-"

"How have I never heard about his before?" he demanded, his hands flailing dramatically. "Why doesn't everybody know about this?"

I sighed and gave him a sympathetic smile. "You and Steve are the only people outside of the company that knows."

That seemed to stop his meltdown. "Really?"

"Really."

Howard shifted his stance as he thought that through. "How did he take it?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "He asked if that meant he was my trophy wife."

A snort of laughter left him, and all animosity left his face. "Of course he would ask that," he mused, shaking his head. "El, this is ridiculous."

"No, what's ridiculous is that I haven't done anything with it till now," I denied, tossing the proposal back onto the desk and looking over all the other papers. "Always thinking about the family and nobody else. There were so many times I could have helped, but never did."

Howard considered me for a moment before cocking a half smile. "Steve really softened ya up, didn't he?"

"Like butter," I admitted. "Listening to what he and Buck went through just to make it by. I mean, sure, my family has had their own hardships. We didn't have anything till out mouth died, but we were better off than some. I should have known better."

He came around to perch on the edge of my chair, his arm wrapping around my shoulders to pull me into him. "You're doing more than I'll ever do in my entire life," he teased. "Well, doing more than I'll ever do outside of guilt or expectation. I'm not a naturally selfless person, El, you know that."

"You look after the people you care about," I reminded him, letting my head drop back against his shoulder. "As long as you keep doing that then nothing else matters."

"You're one of the few," he muttered as he leaned down to kiss the top of my head. "Speaking of family, have you heard anything from your brothers?"

All feeling of contentment and peace I felt before vanished almost instantly. "No, but I wasn't really expecting to. Where I sent them doesn't exactly have a post office on every corner."

He nodded in understanding. "But you think they'll find him? Eventually?"

"I really fucking hope so," I sighed, slumping further into his side. "I've been looking into some search and recovery teams just in case."

"I know I've said this before, and I really hate repeating it, but Zola was right. All the research and tests we did for Barnes before..." he trailed off with a sigh. "Well, they back up what he said. There is a very high percentage rate of him having survived the fall."

"I know. I've been over the figures more times than you have. He might have survived and then wandered off for help, or he might have died and is now buried in several feet of snow. Either way, it's going to be a fucking nightmare to find him. I mean, I really hope that he got up and wandered off but..."

Howard nudged me out of my thoughts and offered a bright smile. "Come on, El, you don't believe he's gone. You wouldn't have packed his things with Steve's if you did."

I let out a shaky breath and allowed myself to fully lean into him, all but laying across his lap. "I want my fellas back, Howie," I mumbled, silently damning myself when I felt the tears prickle.

"I know, sweetheart," he soothed, running a hand down my back. "We won't stop looking till we find them."

A hum of agreement left me before I straightened myself up, rubbing the wetness from my eyes as I did. "I never cried before I met y'all. It's fucking ridiculous."

"That's because you never had anything to cry over before," he sighed. "You never let yourself have one."

I let out a scoff. "I don't think the pot has any right to call the kettle black."

He held his free hand up in defense. "That's fair, that's fair," he allowed before clearing his throat. "So, back to what I originally came here for, do you want to come see what I found?"

I perked up at that slightly, cocking an eyebrow. "You found something?"

He nodded. "I did, but it's-it's not part of the plane or such, but it is something."

Swallowing down my hope, I have him my own nod. "At least it's something, right? Let's go see."

Howard hopped down from the chair and headed towards the door, holding it open for me with a flourish.

It had taken the crew only a few days to realize that maybe confining Howard Stark to a moderately small space was a bad idea. Between his experiments and eccentric personality, he was a ticking time bomb for everybody who wasn't used to him. When it came down to it, I was the only person who could stand to be around him 24/7. Due to this a ship meeting was held, and while none of us wanted to banish Howard to the bowls of the ship, it was decided that his personal lab would be moved there. Of course, Howard slept and ate in his lab, so in a way, we did banish him. Not that he'd ever notice. It took a total of ten minutes to get from my room to his lab, the walk always quiet due to the walls echoing like a warehouse despite the close quarters. It could be nerve wracking at times and I was always surprised when Howard didn't crack under it.

"Now, like I said, it's not part of the plane or anything but-" he broke off as he punching his pass-code into the keypad beside the door.

I smiled softly at his back. "It's okay, Howie. At least it's something."

He nodded to himself and shoved open the door.

I didn't have to step into the room to see what Howard had found, the blue luminescent glow of it filling the darkened lab. It took me a long moment to move again, but when I did it was without hesitation. Since all the research we had on the Tesseract had been collected by Hydra it was all in German, and while we did have translators, it had been decided that I would be the one to do it. Having worked with Erskine and Howard over the past years I had been able to make sense of the research, making notes of my own as I went. By the end of it, I had a laundry list of questions and experiments that I never expected to be fulfilled. All I had been able to do was research the myth side of it all, the side that Johann Schmidt believed so heavily in and was right to. With Johann's collection of research and my own, I couldn't help but believe it all as well. In all honestly, who was I to deny it? I was a Mutant. I wasn't supposed to be real either but here I am. And there was the Tesseract.

"Son of a bitch."

"I know," Howard agreed, saddling up to me. "It was just sitting there by itself. No wreckage. No nothing."

"Where?"

"A few clicks back," he answered as he gestured vaguely over his shoulder. "It's all been recorded on the maps and such, so we're focusing on that part of the grid. Hopefully, this is a sign that we're close to something."

"Holy shit, Howie."

"I know," he repeated. "I almost didn't believe it when I saw it. I didn't want to come to get you till I was sure it was the real thing."

"It's the real thing," I agreed as I stepped closer, raising my hand to hover over the cube. The pulsating energy that rolled off the object would have been nauseating if I wasn't still in shock at seeing the damned thing in person. "This is fucking ridiculous."

"Yes it is."

"I never thought we'd find this. I-I thought we'd find Steve or at least some of the plane, but never this," I said, letting my hand drop back to my side. "I made plans for this thing. You-you saw my notes, but now..." I trailed off, "but now all I want is to send the fucking thing back to Asgard."

"I know, El, I know. As soon as I figure out how to do that, we'll do that but till then," he started, stepping away to grab the notebook resting on one of the other tables, "I want to start some of the experiments you thought of."

I couldn't help but eye him warily. "Howie, no offense, but the last time you touched something that came from the Tesseract you blew the lab up."

"I blew part of the lab up," he defended as he riffled through the papers. "Listen, El, I don't expect you to help me with it all, but I want to do this while we have it. If Johann's and your research is right then this thing could power the entire U.S...indefinitely. Do you know what that would mean?"

"It would mean that we wouldn't be sending it back to Asgard. We're not keeping it any longer that we have to, Howard," I told him, snatching my notebook out of his hands. "But I do think that we should learn as much from it as we can."

A small glimmer of hope returned to his eyes. "So you'll help me with it?"

"They're my ideas, aren't they? Besides, what else am I going to do?"

"Open a hospital apparently," he scoffed before shaking his head. "I love you, Eleanor, and I promise this isn't going to be forever. We're going to find Steve, we're going to find Barnes, we're going to send this thing back where it came from, and we're all going to live happily ever after. Okay?"

A soft laugh left me and I moved over to pull him into a hug. "I love you too, Howard," I said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "Can we start the science shit tomorrow? This is a lot to wrap my head around."

That earned a heartfelt laugh from him. "Okay, science shit starts tomorrow," he agreed. "How about we get something to eat? I know I haven't eaten and if I haven't eaten then you haven't eaten, cause you're usually the one who feeds me."

"Ugh, I knew I was forgetting something," I groaned as I pulled back from him. "Sorry, Howie, I'll take better care of you tomorrow."

"You'll be with me all day, you own't have a choice," he quipped with a wink. "C'mon, let's go."

I nodded and turned to throw the notebook back onto the table he'd gotten it from, when one of the folders caught my eye. "Why do you..." I trailed off, setting the notebook aside and pulling the file towards me. "Where did you get his?"

"Hmm? Oh, it was with all of Dr. Erskine's research," Howard answered. "I thought you put it there?"

I shook my head as I lifted the front cover, my breath catching in my throat when I saw the picture paper-clipped to the front page. "Oh God," I let out, pulling it free as gently as I could.

Howard leaned over my shoulder and scrutinized the photo. "I forgot how small he was."

"I didn't."

"Well, you married the guy, I should hope not."

I smiled softly as I raised the picture Steve's smiling face staring up at me. "You know, I don't regret much, but I do regret not spending more time with him before the procedure," I admitted, running her fingers over his blonde hair. "I loved him then. I didn't know it at the time, but I did, and...God, Howie, he could have used that love. There were so many times I could have snuck off with him. Lord knows I wanted to but..."

"It wasn't the right time?"

I shook my head.

"El, things like this happen for a reason. The fact alone that you two found each other again after that first time is mind-blowing," he stated, once again wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "You are going to find him again because that's the way the universe works, and when you do you can tell him all about your regret, okay? In the meantime, let's get some food, okay?"

"Okay," I relented, pressing the picture close to my chest. "Okay, let's do that."

December of 1945

Having drowned the first time I saw it, I held a respectful amount of fear for the ocean. Victor had thrown me in as a joke, conveniently forgetting that none of us were particularly strong swimmers. I hadn't even had enough time to resurface before an undercurrent caught hold of me and dragged me off, fighting against something that couldn't be fought. My only saving grace was that my body had floated face up, keeping me from having to drawn all over again upon reanimation. Out at sea, there is no instinctual sense of direction, no landmarks, and back then I hadn't really given a shit about stars. In the end, I had to rely on my brothers to find me, the two dimwits having stolen a rowboat to come after me. Two days of dehydration, hunger, and sunstroke healed in the twelve-hour boat ride back to land. The memories of churning water and an endless black stayed with me, stopping me from ever seriously considering taking up swimming as a hobby. Though that didn't stop me from drowning a handful of times since then, Morte always a little more sympathetic in those instances.

I often found myself wondering if Steve would hold the same fear. If he too would wake from nightmares of smothering water and maddening silence.

"Eleanor!"

I startled violently and pushed away from the window, spinning around to find Howard standing a few feet away. "Jesus Christ, Howard. Don't do that."

He held a hand up in defense. "I've been calling your name for a while, El, but you weren't hearing me."

I thought on that for a moment before glancing back out the window. "I'm sorry. I guess I drifted farther than I thought."

"That's okay, sweetheart," he reassured, offering me a sympathetic smile. "Where did you go?"

"No place I wanted to be," I sighed, turning completely away from the window and stepping over to him. "Did you need me for something?"

The look he gave me wasn't one of relief, but it wasn't one of worry either. "No-well, I need you but not for something- I mean, I have something for you- so I guess I do need you for Something- capital S, you know, because I can't tell you what the Something is because that would ruin the surprise."

Now it was my time to give him a look. "Is it a good Something?"

He nodded and rocked back on his heels. "Yes-well, I hope so- I won't know till I give it to you."

"So it's a present?"

"I forgot your birthday. I'm sorry."

"No you-" I cut myself off as I realized the date I had been writing on the reports. "It's December."

"Uh-huh."

"I forgot my own birthday."

"To be fair so did everyone else."

"Huh," I muttered, wishing I was more surprised by that. "Well shit. So it's a birthday present?"

He nodded again and produced what he had been holding behind his back. A small box wrapped in what looked to be an old memo. "They don't have much in the way of gift wrap on this boat. You should have seen some of the looks I got when I asked. "

I smiled at the thought and reached out to take it from him. "Thank you, Howie."

"Go on and open it."

Tearing into the paper I lifted the lid of the box underneath, pausing when I saw what it held.

The locket was no bigger than a quarter, the silver shining in the bright sunlight. Adored on the front was a bejeweled replica of Steve's shield, the various stones making up the well-known pattern.

Howard cleared his throat and shuffled a little bit closer. "I-I know you don't really do gemstones, but I thought you'd make an exception for this. They're, uh, sapphires, rubies, and the star is a diamond."

"Howie, you didn't have to do that," I told him, brushing a finger over the stones before pulling it free of the box, setting the wrapping on the table. "Really, you didn't have to do that."

His head tilted tot he side. "Yes, I did. I designed a handful without the stones and none of them looked right. So yes, I had to use the stones. Now go ahead and open it."

I pulled in a steady breath and slipped my nail between the seal. It popped open without trouble and I was greeted with the faces of Steve and Bucky. The breath I had taken caught in my throat and it took conscious effort not to drop the locket.

"I hope you don't mind that I used that picture of Steve. I tracked down the negative so we can make copies, but I thought it would mean more if I didn't use the pictures from after Rebirth."

I nodded absently and shifted my gaze to the picture of Bucky. "Wh-where did you get the one of Buck? That's not from his file."

"No, it's from when that camera crew that followed us around," he explained. "I think the photographer had a cursh on Barnes because most of the pictures he held on to were of him. I got the negatives for those of him too. I'm having copies made for you."

I swallowed hard as I smiled, seeing those two together again getting to me more than I thought it would.

"I know it's not the as as if actually having them back but I thought-"

"Howie," I interrupted, closing the space between us to wrap my arms around him. "I have nev-" I cut off when my voice wavered. "Thank you."

"Of course, El," he said as he returned the hug, kissing my cheek. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it," I corrected with a sniff. "Will you put it on me before I start crying again?"

He pulled back and offered me a kind smile. "Turn around, sweetheart," he instructed, taking hold of the locket chain.

I pivoted on my heels and gathered my hair up, a tear streaking down my cheek when I felt the locket rest against my skin. I let out a harsh breath when he clasped it and stepped back, spinning me back around to get a look.

"It looks beautiful, El," he praised, brushing a finger against my cheek to rub the tear away. "There's, uh, there's a bit more to it, but I don't want to upset you."

I let out a scoff. "Please, I've been on the verge of tears for months now," I dismissed. "What is it?"

"Well," he started with a sigh, "I know that Steve told you that he got your wedding rings from Ireland, but that wasn't entirely true. He, uh, he had me shave some of the Vibranium off his shield. I made your wedding rings out of Vibranium from his shield."

I blinked against the onslaught of emotions that came, more tears joining the first as I realized that I had more of him than I thought I had. I ran my thumb over the face of my wedding ring, the hands, heart and crown now more familiar.

"I didn't use all of it for your rings so..." he trialed off, eyeing the tears warily. "So I made the locket."

My hand flew up to press over it. "It's really his shield?" I asked with a weak voice.

He nodded. "It's really his shield."

A keening noise left me but I reined it in fairly quickly with a sharp breath. "Jesus."

"Steve wanted something that would last," he explained. "He said that he didn't like the idea of replacing wedding rings. Didn't want to have to do that down the line."

"I'm always surprised when he things of things like that," I admitted, fidgeting with my ring. "Lord knows I never do."

"You are more of a in-the-moment kind of gal," Howard agreed. "I suppose when you live as long as you do, planning for the future kind of becomes redundant."

"Steve has a big future planned," I mused.

"Well, he is just starting his ridiculously long life, we can't blame him for being excited," he teased lightly. "Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing what he does."

I flashed him a shaky smile. "So am I."

I agonized over how to end this chapter so I just decided to keep it short and sweet. I hope you guys like this, there was a lot I wanted to include to kind of tie up some lose ends. I also wanted to throw some more information in there about the Howlett family, so that kind of came out of left field.

I am currently working on the first part of X-Men: First Class, but as you may know there is a 15 year gap between First Avenger and First Class, so I plan on adding in a lot of flashbacks for those years. If there's something you're curious about or if there's something you'd like to see, just shoot me a review and I'll try to work it in.

Also, I've gotten a few reviews from a Guest who is interested in taking over my original Forever Vigilant story. Since this story is technically a rewrite of that one, with a few more movie inclusions and character developments, I've been toying with the idea of taking the old one down. I have no intention of giving it to anyone else to continue so there really isn't a point in keeping it up. Let me know what you think.

And last but not least, I'd like to thank Christmas95 for playing Beta for this chapter and for listening to me ramble. (I promise to reply to your email soon)

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