A/n: Here, I've used the Force as kind of an afterlife. That's sort of the way that I've always thought about it, although it technically isn't canon.

Also, this is a landmark chapter for two reasons: Firstly, this is the first time that I actually mention Luke and Leia by name. Yes, I'm surprised too at the fact I wrote 35 other chapters, and I never used their names.

Second, the sixth person to review will give me my two hundredth review for this story! Really makes you want to press the button at the end…

On a semi-related note, thanks to everyone who has reviewed up to this point!

Italics usually mean thoughts, unless used in dialogue.

"I blame you, Obi-Wan Kenobi!"

Landing in the Realms of the Force was disorienting, at best, and it usually required several rounds of "I'm a Force-Ghost?! Seriously?!" "Yes! You're seriously a Force Ghost!" before one could completely regain their bearings.

Obi-Wan was different. He had known for many years about just what went on after you died, mostly due to the long nights when the Tatooine Sand Weasels' howling kept him awake, and Qui-Gon's ghost had insomnia. He actually knew more about what happened than those who were already dead, his former Master had gone into so much detail! Not that he particularly wanted to.

Scrambling awkwardly to his feet, the former Jedi Master observed that he had landed in the Classic Beauties section of the Realms, which, in short, consisted of a rather large Beautiful Field Background Commonly used on Calendars!

(It was actually just a large, empty room.)

He sighed, and turned to Padme. "What did I do?"

Her glare was sister to Hoth. "It's what you didn't do."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. Women. Always hinting, never saying. "And what did I not do?"

Her frown made him wonder if she knew what he was thinking. "You never told Luke that he had a sister."

So? "I also never told him that Darth Vader fathered him. You aren't complaining about that."

Padme gave an indignant huff. "That would be too hard for him to deal with. Refusing to tell him details like that was a good idea." She opened her mouth as if to say something else when Qui-Gon materialized.

"Obi-Wan! I thought I felt a disturbance in the Force! I was just walking, and then there was this little groundquake! Did I ever tell you that's what Force disturbances feel like here?"

That's right… I'll be stuck with him forever now… He forced a smile. "Yes, Master. You mentioned it once or twice." Ten times and counting.

"Oh, okay. What are we talking about?"

Obi-Wan was pondering the merits of saying 'lost loves', as he knew that to be a taboo topic with his once-Master, but Padme broke in. "I'm telling Obi-Wan all of the things he did wrong."

Qui-Gon's dark eyes lit up. "Are you going first? Because I have a lot of things. I could be a while…"

Naboo's one-time queen glared at him. "I'm first."

She turned to face Obi-Wan, who cowered at the blaster bolts she was shooting with her brown eyes. "I wanted my children to grow up together. I wanted them to have the same wonderful experiences with their siblings that I did."

With narrowed eyes, her face gained an oddly bat-like quality. "Tell me, Master Kenobi. What did I get?"

He swallowed nervously. "Well, Luke and Leia seem to get along… neither of them were dead the last I checked, and that typically implies that they haven't killed each other."

That appeared not to be the answer she was searching for. "Incest! I got two incestuous children! Twins, Obi-Wan! They're twins!" She huffed and turned away from him, her outburst over.

"Just how were they incestuous?"

She raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "You mean you don't know? You didn't feel the tension slowly rise as Luke longed for a woman over the long Tatooine days?" Her voice rose slightly. "You never felt Leia's longing through the Force as she wished for a life-mate? You didn't know about their huge kriffing kiss?!"

He gulped. Oh. "No, I'm afraid that I didn't."

She was yelling several impolite things regarding anatomically impossible actions when something occurred to him. "Why are you even here? You weren't Force-sensitive…"

Padme gave him a 'What-Kind-Of-An-Idiot are you?' copyrighted (©) look. "Luke and Leia were! I carried them around for, what, nine months?"

She then resumed screaming at him.

Ever the peace-keeper, Qui-Gon was quick to offer a solution. "Padme, calm down. Obi-Wan, stop being so calm. It's time for me to tell you all of the things I secretly blame you for! Number one: My death. Number two: Tahl's death. Number three: Remember that dead guy that turned up in the Temple? We all know it was Yoda, but guess who I blame?"

A/n, V.2: 23 hours and thirty-nine minutes until I see Fleetwood Mac! Free Bird! Never break the Chain!