Technically speaking, Tonks was supposed to be on guard duty. And she was, really. She'd done a few different perimeter checks, strengthened all of the security charms, and gone through her Auror Bodyguard Checklist. All was fine. Which was why she was up here now, playing Exploding Snap with Hermione and Ginny. She'd noticed that the two girls had been a bit downtrodden lately - mostly because Harry and Ron were off in Auror training and not very good at writing. But she knew it was more than that. The two girls had gone back to Hogwarts following the War, and she knew the place didn't feel the same anymore. Anything she could do to distract them over the winter break, she was up for it.

"Are they at least giving you a bit of independence?" she asked as they explained their new routine at school.

"I think they're trying," Ginny said. "With the internship program and everything."

"What's that?" Tonks asked, as her card exploded.

"Oh, you get to shadow a teacher or someone in the local wizarding community. Seamus is following the local broom dealer."

"And you two?"

"I'm shadowing McGonagall," Hermione said. "And Ginny's with Sprout. Well, was…."

"Couldn't take looking after the kids," Ginny said. "I switched over to Hooch. Guarding flying lessons and refereeing Quidditch is way better than repotting Mandrakes."

Tonks flinched.

Both girls looked at her. It was definitely a flinch - she'd dropped half of her cards.

"Er...um...that sounds lovely. Deal again, Ginny."

"Oh no…" Ginny said. "What the hell was that? What's your deal with Mandrakes?"

Tonks's hair turned fire engine red. "Okay...I'll tell you. But not a word to anyone about this - not Harry, or Ron, or especially Molly. Charlie already knows and that's bad enough."

"Secret's safe with us," Ginny promised.

"Okay," Tonks said, hair still burning red. "It was my seventh year. I had a bit of a reputation as a womanizer. Not like, an asshole womanizer - it was my I-Like-Turning-Straight-Girls phase."

Both girls sniggered, but Tonks continued.

"So I'm at breakfast one morning, and a seventh-year Slytherin called Clytemnestra comes walking up to me. Passes me a note to meet her in the greenhouses later. So I sneak out after curfew and meet her. We...um…"

Now Ginny and Hermione was about to bust a stitch from holding in their laughter. Both could guess where this was going, but they wanted to hear Tonks explain it.

"So we get down to business. And...erm…"

"Oh, god, TONKS!" Cly yelled, thrashing backwards on the greenhouse table.

Tonks, knees digging into the dirt, was feeling pretty smug about getting the normally stoic Slytherin to actually scream her name, when she heard a crash.

Suddenly, Cly wasn't the only one screaming. The pots she'd knocked over had Mandrakes inside - the second years had just repotted them that day. The cry of three Mandrakes filled the air.

Tonks swooned.

"I woke up in the hospital with McGonagall, Hooch, Sprout, and Pomfrey glaring at me," she said. "Detention for the rest of the term, and I had to put in double time cleaning the greenhouses."

Ginny and Hermione were in stitches.

"Wait...wait…" Ginny gasped. "How...why does my brother know?"

"Because Sprout got there first and did damage control. He'd been helping Hagrid with some animals, and overheard them talking the next day. He had a lot of jokes for me when he came to visit the hospital wing. Moral of the story, girls? Always check your surroundings for potential unintentional alarms."