A/N: I apologize in advance for this long a/n.
First of all, I don't say it enough but thank you to my prereaders, you guys are awesome. And if you haven't already check out secamimom's story Healing the Divide.
Secondly, these next chapters are going to jump in time quite a bit. It's not because I'm trying to skip through everything, its just how I've always planned on it. And plus it'd be pretty monotonous otherwise so I'm highlighting mostly important events.
Thirdly, Code of Conduct was featured on a great blog for Twilight Fanfic reccs, so I'd love for you to check it out and give your support to them. It's a great site with a great review and even an interview with me. Thanks Mr. Green ; ) picffcorner(dot)blogspot(dot)com(slash)2010(slash)04(slash)mr-green-gets-code-of-conduct-with(dot)html
Lastly, I have been busy working on some blogs for my upcoming projects so if you want a little taste of what's next for me check out The Mat blog at www(dot)thematfanfiction(dot)blogspot(dot)com and an exclusive teaser from my brand new story Game, Set, Match at www(dot)gamesetmatchfanfiction(dot)blogspot(dot)com
Edward
My entire body was exhausted, so much so that I valued every minute of sleep I could get. Needless to say I was less than thrilled when I heard someone call my name, interrupting my nap.
"Cullen!"
I clenched my eyes tight and cursed silently under my breath.
"Cullen where are you?!" He called again.
"Fuck can't I get a decent nap in without someone bothering me?" I shot up out of my cot and looked around. Jimmy, another lieutenant in my unit, poked his head inside the room. I glared at him and shook my head. "What?"
"You have some mail." He held up an envelope and my mood instantly lightened. Mail was probably the one thing that I wouldn't mind interrupting my nap. Mail meant that I got a little piece of at least one of the two most important women in my life. I got a letter from Esme yesterday so my gut told me it was from Bella.
I ran my fingers through my hair and jumped up, leaping across the room with a goofy smile on my face.
"Sorry Jimmy I'm just…it's been a long couple of days." I slapped his shoulder apologetically.
"No problem. I know how you feel." He smiled and gave me some privacy, knowing I wanted to be alone with her. I sat back down on my cot and leaned against the wall, letting my head lull back. My finger ran across the top of the envelope, anxious to get inside.
I pulled out the pages and pages of paper, smiling even more when I saw her handwriting.
Edward,
It's strange to think it's already the middle of February and you've been gone from me for so long. I received your second letter the day after Christmas and it couldn't have been a better belated present. Charlie bought me a brand new laptop. I finally have a webcam so next time you have access to the computer there we can try and chat. I can't wait to see your face, just to know that you're all right. Charlie really loved your gift, even though he protested that a new television was way too expensive. Carlisle and Esme brought it over Christmas morning and ended up staying for lunch. They seem to be doing well. Esme and I have dinner once a week and always seem to end up talking about you. She misses you and Emmett a lot but Rosalie and I try to keep her occupied as much as possible.
We went over to Jacob and Billy's for New Years. Charlie actually brought a date, can you believe it? I was convinced that my father was going to be a lifelong bachelor but he never ceases to surprise me. Sue is really nice, but I just never expected it. Jacob and I had to look away at midnight just in case they decided to kiss. By the way, thank you, for Jacob. He stopped by the day after you left to "check on me" on your orders. Thank you for understanding our friendship. He's been amazing these last couple of months. Alice and Rosalie are always there if I need them, but sometimes I need some time away from all the girly things. He wanted me to tell you hello and that you better come back or else he was going to try and win me back. I told him it would never happen and I'd cut his balls off if he ever tried anything.
I started school again. I hate it…again. But I'm doing fairly well. Charlie keeps pressuring me to apply for college, but something doesn't feel right. I know there are a few that have late application deadlines but I just can't pull myself to fill anything out. It's not that I'm lazy or want to become a professional couch potato after I graduate, but something about college just doesn't feel like me. Who knows, maybe I'll just go for a year until I find my calling, whatever that may be. Alice has decided to go fashion school. I always knew she would and she definitely has the talent for it, its just going to be hard to be away from her.
I started taking a boxing class at the local gym, so the next time I see you I'll be just as buff as you. It's an introductory class and they're amazed at how quickly I'm catching on. They have no idea I had my own personal trainer for a few months and I love looking like the honors student.
People are already talking about prom and it makes me want to vomit and punch them in the face. It's the week before graduation and Alice already wants to go dress shopping. I told her I'm not going, but she refuses to let me sit out on "a high school girl's right of passage" or something. There's no way I could stand all that without you. Maybe I'll get dressed up anyway and send you a picture.
Jasper is shipping out soon. I don't know where he's going or if he'll be where you are but I hope he is. Look after him for Alice, she's been worrying herself sick about him.
I wish I had more to write, but I've run out of words so I'll leave you with this. I think of you every moment and pray that you are safe. I feel like a part of my heart is missing and I know it's because its with you, wherever you are. Just know that I love you and that I'm missing you like crazy baby. And if you get this before then, Happy Valentine's Day.
Bella
I smiled at the small heart drawn next to her name and read through her words again, laughing a little under my breath when I read the date on the calendar. February 14th. Valentine's Day. I felt like so many things were happening for her and I was missing them. I felt so distant from her life, almost like I was looking at it through a snow globe or something. It was moments like these that kept me going, moments where for one day I felt like I was there. I smiled and pinned her letter up on the wall, next to her first one and her and Charlie's Christmas card.
There was soft knock on the door and Emmett peaked his head in. "Hey can I come in or are you still spending some time with Bella?"
"No come in." I waved him inside.
"So how are you feeling?"
"I'm still exhausted."
"I hear they've had you on guard shifts all week. That's brutal man."
I nodded and lay back down on my cot. Emmett did the same on the cot beside me.
"Have you heard from Rose?"
"Yeah I got a letter from her about a week ago I think…" He laughed happily under his breath.
"We're so whipped man. I feel like I'm on cloud nine right now."
"Yep." He stared up at the ceiling.
The door suddenly opened and Captain Yorkie stepped in without warning. Emmett and I both jumped up to attention.
"At ease boys. I just wanted to let you know you'll be getting a new roommate today. He'll be here in a few minutes. Also please come see me in my office after dinner. I have some new assignments for you." He gave us a hard stare and turned around, leaving us alone in our room again.
"A new roommate?" Emmett said, his nose turning up in disgust.
"Yeah I guess that means you'll have to control your gas Em," I laughed.
"Oh shit, I told them not to stick me with you too…" Someone called from the doorway. My head shot around towards the familiar voice and smiled when I saw Jasper standing there with a wide grin on his face.
"Jazz?" Emmett called. He jumped up from his cot and bounded across the floor, tackling Jasper to the ground. I quickly followed and ended up pinning Jasper to the floor while Emmett gave him a wet willie.
We finally let him go after he screamed "uncle" a few times. I swear that he was like the brother we never had.
Jasper unpacked all of his things and told us all about his basic training. Sounded like he had it a lot rougher than we did the first time through. He seemed a little reluctant to talk about Alice, I knew it was hard for him to be away from her and I didn't want to press it.
We all decided to head to the gym to workout for a little bit before dinner. That's the thing about being on base, there isn't much to do when you aren't doing something. I know that makes no sense but its true. When you aren't sleeping or eating or on duty for something there is absolutely nothing. Video games and movies get old after the first hundred times, so working out is pretty much the only thing you can do to keep yourself occupied. I knew once we actually got sent out I'd be begging to come back here, but for right now I was itching to do something except stare at the wall. I'd prefer to be back home with the beautiful brunette who owned me completely, but since we were halfway around the world from one another I had to make due with the small picture I had of her.
Dinner was fine. Most people would be surprised to find that the food here isn't actually that bad, but again it was the monotony of it all. It made me hunger for Bella and her amazing cooking.
Jasper left Emmett and I at Captain Yorkie's office after dinner and went back to the room. We knocked lightly on his door and waited.
"Come on in.," he called.
We stepped inside and saluted him as he stood. And then he said the words that we'd been expecting since we got here.
"We're sending you out tomorrow." He was so calm, so nonchalant about it. Like it was no big deal. "Pack up your things, I don't know when you'll be back here. Shouldn't be more than a month. And uh…feel free to use the phone later if you would like to call your family." He nodded, a sign of dismissal. We headed out of the office and went straight back to the room to tell Jasper the news.
"Damnit I just got here and you guys are already leaving," he sighed.
"We'll be back. Captain said we shouldn't be gone for more than a month. Hell, who knows maybe they'll end up sending you out with us in a few weeks. We hear you were quite the superstar of your unit." Emmett laughed and elbowed him in the ribs.
We went to bed relatively early so we could get up extra early to use the phone. The time difference was about 12 hours or so. The alarm went off at about 5:30 and Emmett hopped up. Jasper sat up and looked around.
"I'm going to go call Rose and mom." He headed out the door, leaving Jasper and I alone.
I fidgeted nervously with my fingers in the dark, wondering if I should even bring up the girls. I didn't want to make him sad, but I needed to know.
"Um Jasper," I cleared my throat. "Is…is Bella as okay as she seems in her letters? I mean I know you didn't get to see her much before you left, but I just…you know." I shrugged.
"I mean she misses you Edward. You can see it in her eyes. There's this kind of sadness in them and I know its because you aren't there. But the way she talks about you…" He laughed under his breath. "She's so proud of you man. And she's really doing great from what I can tell."
I let out the breath I'd been holding and closed my eyes. I didn't open them again until I heard the door open again.
"You're up Edward." He nodded and I felt the butterflies start to pop up in my stomach. I was going to actually hear her voice for the first time since I'd been gone and for some reason I was a little nervous. "Apparently they're having a slumber party with Esme at the house. Be forewarned."
I laughed a little under my breath and headed towards the main office. I gave the guy at the desk my name and he led me back into a smaller room. The phone sat in the middle of the table. It looked like such a simple little thing, but it was so much more than that. It was my connection. It was everything.
My hands shook as I picked it up. I could barely dial the numbers I was so anxious. I sighed as it started ringing. Once. Twice. Three times. I was almost scared it was going to go to voicemail, but then I heard the most beautiful sound in my world.
"Hello?"
Bella
I stood at the window tapping my foot anxiously as I waited for the mailman to drive up. He was usually here at 3:04 and it was almost 3:20. He must be running late.
"Bella you standing there staring at the road will not make him come faster," Charlie scolded.
"I know I just…I can't just sit in my room. I'll go crazy."
"How long has it been?"
"Two weeks." My heart stopped when I saw something coming up the road.
"Honey you know how long it takes letters to get back and forth from over there."
"I know." I kept my eyes trained on the small little car coming towards us. I smiled when I could finally read "U.S. Postal Service" in big navy letters. I bolted towards the door and started down the driveway. I just made it to the end as he was pulling away. I gripped onto the lid of the mailbox and held my breath as I yanked it open. I grabbed the hunk of mail and started back towards the house. As soon as I got inside I threw it down on the floor of the foyer and sat down to rummage through them. I was like a kid in a candy store looking for my favorite kind.
Bills. Ads. Crap. Crap. Crap. My heart sank as I realized there was nothing from Edward. I guess I was hoping that since it was Valentine's Day Cupid would grant me a little favor and bring me a little something from him. Charlie must have noticed my change in attitude.
"I'm sorry honey." He bent down and kissed my head. "Do you want me to stay home with you tonight?"
"No, Dad. Don't be ridiculous." I shook my head. "You go have a good time with Sue. I think I'm going to Alice's anyway." I was only telling part of the truth. I was planning on going to Alice's with Rose, but we were also planning on getting drunk. And Alice wasn't quite aware of our plans yet. She'd been pretty down since Jasper left a few days ago so Rose and I planned to kidnap her and force her to have some fun. If we had to be alone on Valentine's Day we wanted to be all warm and fuzzy with mounds of chocolate in front of us.
Charlie and Sue were going up to Seattle for the night. It was kind of weird that my dad actually had a steady girlfriend, but Sue was really nice. I'm glad they were going away to do whatever they were going to do. I liked Sue, but not enough to be okay with her having sex with my dad in my house. It made me want to vomit up that sandwich I'd just eaten.
"Call me if you need anything sweetheart…" Charlie offered a wave as he walked out the door.
"Will do." I picked up all the scattered mail off the floor and set it in a pile on the table. Rose was coming to get me before we went to Alice's place. We were going to take her with us to the store so she could help us pick out the merchandise.
I ran upstairs to get my bag and came back down just as Rose was pulling up. She honked a couple of times and I locked up the house as I went out to meet her.
"Hey," I said, opening my door and throwing my bag in the back.
"Hi." Rose smiled and started down the driveway. "You think she's going to come easily?" She raised her eyebrow.
"I don't know. Her mom says she hasn't really left her room since he left. Just to eat and use the bathroom. She needs an intervention." I nodded my head as we drove to Alice's place. I'm sure her mother wouldn't be too pleased that her intervention involved secretly drinking in her daughter's room. After a couple drinks it probably wouldn't be such a secret, but we probably wouldn't care by then.
We pulled into Alice's place and I walked right in. We weren't really knocking people. I've been best friends with her practically my entire life. My house was her house and her house was my house.
"Hey Mary!" I called to her mother as I started up the stairs.
"Hey Bella honey. How are you?"
"Good!" I stomped up the last couple of steps and walked into Alice's room. She was sprawled out across the bed, Kleenex littered all around her. Her hood was up over her head, completely shielding her face from view.
"Oh Al…" I sighed, plopping myself on her bed. I placed my hand on her back and lay down next to her. "We're surprising you," I whispered.
She sniffled and turned her face towards me. Her cheeks were tear stained and flushed.
"No more tears…" I wiped at her eyes. "Let's go have fun."
"I don't want to go out Bella…" She shook her head.
"Alice get off the bed right now," Rose said. "Now you're going to have fun whether you like it or not." Rose came up behind Alice and tickled her feet.
"Stop!" Alice whined.
"Nope. Not stopping until you get up and come with us." Rose continued her attack until Alice finally couldn't hold in her laughter.
"Okay fine. But I'm not promising anything." She held up her finger and scooted closer to the edge of the bed. Rose and I wrapped our arms around her for a short moment before pulling her up and towards the door.
We went right to the grocery store and started loading up our cart with candy and sweets. We saved the liquor for last. Rose was going to have to buy it for us. We perused along the aisle, careful not to let the employees see Alice and I with her. They knew us well enough to know we were underage.
We picked out some vodka and some whiskey for me. I was sure we were caught when someone cleared their throat beside us. I turned and was surprised to see Esme standing beside us.
"Hello girls…" She smiled.
"Mrs. Cullen," Alice squeaked.
Esme eyed the liquor in our hands and crossed her arms. "Hand it over."
We sighed and handed over what we had. I guess we'd have to go to another store. Even though Rose was old enough, Esme would probably tell the store clerks about us. I loved her but that woman was as straight as they come. Esme took the bottles in her arms, turned around and said the last thing I ever expected to come out of her mouth.
"I'll get these. Meet me back at my house. We'll have a girls night." She smiled slightly as all of our jaws hit the floor. "What? Did you really think I was that much of a prude? I was young once too." She started towards the register and left us all still in shock. We stood behind her with our stuff as she made her purchases, surprising us all when she asked for a pack of cigarettes as well.
Rosalie, Alice and I split the cost of everything we bought and piled into the car. I called my dad on the way and told him I was staying at the Cullen's instead of Alice's. It wasn't that unusual with how close I'd become with Esme. Apparently not enough to know that she was a complete badass underneath that exterior, but we were close.
Rose drove quickly over to the Cullen's place and we arrived just as it was starting to get dark. Dr. Cullen's car wasn't in the driveway. I guess I was surprised that they didn't have Valentine's Day plans. I thought she had mentioned something about going away for the weekend.
Esme was already grabbing glasses out of the kitchen. She set them, along with the liquor on a tray and started upstairs. I kinked a questioning eyebrow at her choice of venue.
"Carlisle will kill me if he smells smoke down here. We'll have to go in Edward or Emmett's room." My chest tightened a little at the mention of that. I'd been over here plenty of times since he's left, but I always avoid that room. Rosalie must have sensed my tension.
"Let's go to Em's room," she smiled.
I followed all of them up the stairs and towards Emmett's room. They all filed in before me and I was left standing alone out in the hallway, my eyes fixed on the door at the end.
"Bella?" Rosalie called as I took a few steps towards it.
"Just…give me a few minutes okay?" I took a few more deliberate steps towards his room. I knew this was a bad idea, but I couldn't stay away. His room was so…him in every way. It would be nice to have a little extra piece of him. I hesitantly pushed the door open and walked inside.
I smiled as I took in his things, sitting there waiting for him almost like he was just out at the store or something. I ran my finger along his desk and started towards his bed. As I lay down on it, I inhaled deeply, burying my face into his pillow. Thankfully Esme hadn't gone through and washed everything because it still smelled like him.
I thought I heard squeals come from down the hall and almost got up to see what the fuss was about, but I couldn't force myself away. Rose was mumbling something to someone out in the hallway. She must have been on the phone because she was the only one I could hear. I had no idea what she was saying but she sounded really happy.
I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Breathe Bella, I told myself. Just breathe. I brushed away a tear from my eye, surprised at the unfamiliar feeling. I'd refused to cry after that day that he left. I think I cried enough that day to last me this entire time. But here I was, lying on his bed crying silently to myself, basking in the feel of him all around me. The hallway went silent, but I didn't move. I just wanted to lay here for a little bit.
My phone started vibrating in my pocket and I cursed at whoever was calling me and interrupting my time with Edward. I didn't get a damn letter today can't I just lay with him in peace? To make matters worse the number came up as private. I never, ever answer those ones. And I almost didn't, but something told me to do it.
I sighed and hit the button as I held it up to my ear. "Hello?"
"Bella?"
My heart stopped. It was his voice. It was Edward. I shot up, completely unable to speak.
"Baby are you there?"
"Edward?" I finally choked out. The tears started flowing faster down my cheeks.
"Hi." I could almost hear the smile in his voice.
"Hi," I sniffled, grinning from ear to ear.
"So how's the weather?" He joked.
"I miss you so much," I cried.
"I miss you too sweetheart. Don't cry. Everything's okay. I just…they let me use the phone so I thought I'd give you a call."
"How are you? How's Emmett?"
"All three of us are good. Jasper just got here today."
I sighed in relief knowing that they were all together. "Good. Alice has been a mess. We're actually…drinking with your mother. I didn't know she smoked either."
He laughed. "I never thought I'd have to worry about my mom being a bad influence on you. She very rarely smokes, mostly when my dad's not around or she's really stressed." He cleared his throat. "So how are you? I got your letter yesterday."
"You did?" I smiled. "I'm okay." I bit down on my lip, almost nervous to ask him. "Do you have any idea when you'll be home?"
He didn't speak for a few moments. "I don't know. We could be given leave at any time between assignments, but we don't know when. It could be for a few days or a few weeks though, so I don't know if I'll be able to come all the way home."
"Oh."
"So why don't you want to go to prom?" He asked.
I shrugged, even though I knew he couldn't see me. "I just don't want to go without you."
"Well I appreciate that, but I don't want you to miss it on account of me. Ask Jake to go with you, I'm sure he will."
I tried not to laugh.
"What was that for?" He asked.
"It's weird to me how you and Jacob are like…friends now."
"He's an alright guy when he's not trying to corrupt you." There was a voice in the background and Edward sighed. "Hold on Emmett!" He yelled.
"Are you talking to Bella?" Emmett said. "I want to talk to her, give it to me!" I heard a scuffle on the other end of the phone. "Little Swan?"
"Hey Em."
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm taking good care of my little brother for you. And, because we love our girls so much, we don't even have a girly calendar in our room. It's totally tit and ass free."
"Well thanks Emmett, that's so nice of you."
"No problem. Here's Edward again." He handed the phone back to Edward and mumbled something about them having to go.
"I guess that's your cue huh?"
"Yeah," he said slowly. "Listen we're heading out on an assignment. I might not be able to be in contact with you for awhile."
"Is it dangerous?"
"No," he lied.
"Liar."
"I love you babe. Happy Valentine's Day."
"I love you."
He sighed and the line went dead. I hung up my phone and wiped my tears away. I walked over to his desk and grabbed a piece of paper from his desk.
I got to talk to you today and it was the best day since you left. I love you.
I folded up the note and stuck it between one of his books, knowing he'd find it eventually when he got back. I grabbed his pillow off his bed and finally headed back to the girls.
"Did you get a phone call too?" Rose smiled.
"Yeah." I sat down beside Alice. "They sounded good. Jazz is with them Al." I ran my fingers through her hair.
"Really?" She grinned.
"Yeah. They'll take good care of him."
Esme poured all of us a shot and raised her glass up. "To the boys."
"To the boys," we all echoed as we clinked out glass together. The liquor burned as it slid down my throat, but I was thankful I hadn't drank in awhile. It wouldn't take much to get me drunk.
Esme walked over to the window with Alice and they shared a cigarette while Rose and chomped on some candy. A couple of shots later, Rose was trying to catch some M & M's in her mouth and Esme and I were laughing hysterically about something. I had no idea what it was. Alice was dancing around the room to invisible music. She turned a little too quickly and fell into Rose, who in turn pushed her back with her pillow. Alice grabbed another pillow off Emmett's bed and the next thing I knew we were all at battle. I ducked a swing from Esme and got her right in the stomach with Edward's pillow. We were laughing and yelling so hard we didn't even hear Carlisle walk into the room.
"What the hell is going on here?" He said, putting his hands on his hips. His eyes scanned the room, now in complete disarray. Esme blew a piece of hair from her eyes and jumped over to him. "Hi hubby." She leaped up into his arms. "How was work?"
"Have you been drinking?"
She nodded as we all shook our heads. We were all relieved when he laughed at how drunk she was. "I'm taking you to bed," he smiled at Esme.
"Is that a promise?" She winked and waved as he carried her out of the room.
"Be careful girls." He gave us a fatherly but forgiving look as he closed the door behind them.
"They're so going to have sex," Rose said.
"She's so lucky…" Alice said, twirling a Twizzler around in her mouth.
"I wonder what he's like…" Rose mused.
"Ew!" I threw my arms out. "I do not want to talk about Carlisle like that."
"Oh come on Bella Daddy Cullen's a hottie," Rose joked.
"Totally hot," Alice said.
I got up and started roaming around Emmett's room. I'd never really been in here before. He had one of those "girly calendars" as he called them pinned above his desk and I laughed to myself.
"What?" Rose asked.
"Emmett said that they loved and missed us so much that they didn't even have a girly calendar in their room."
"Aw how sweet," Alice said.
Rose smiled a devious grin and started rummaging in her bag, pulling out a camera. "I have an idea…"
A/N: The girls needed a little fun huh? What do you think Rose has in mind? P.S. How awesome is drunk Esme?
Thanks for all your reviews, reccs, retweets and any other r's you throw in there.