The glass of whiskey was sitting in front of Liara as she sat at her makeshift desk and logged the day's activities in her netpad. This was her fifth trip back to Kur'deshia in the last three years and after the second trip, Liara was heading the expeditions. Dr. Titum Ronak had been an inspiration for Liara and he had taught her everything he knew before he passed away at the old age of forty-two. His death had hurt although not like Zazzy and Liara followed the asari custom of honoring him with pain, reflection, gratefulness, acceptance, peace.
This evening, Liara was finishing up her day's work as music of Akdhat floated softly through her tent and out into the cavern mixing with the sound of falling icicles and an occasional shift of the underground stream now partially made of ice. It was the season of winter on Kur'deshia and temperatures could drop below -23 celsius, but thankfully today it was -5 celsius. A fellow asari colleague had left that glass of human whiskey with her saying that it would cut the cold but she had to be careful to monitor the effects when drinking it because it was alcohol. One of the many secrets that asari did not share was that they could not get drunk, at least not on alcohol. They would appear to be drunk if it served their purpose but it was a secret that was kept for reasons of advantage against other species when needed.
There was only one thing that could get an asari truly intoxicated and that was a fruit grown solely on the cold and methane-ammonia atmospheric planet Zesmeni. The fruit was similar in appearance to Earth's pomegranates but with a purple skin and gold inside with seeds the color of silver like titanium. The asari needed to eat only four seeds on average to not only become intoxicated but to also increase their sexual desire. The fruit, called mayngo, grew in patches of bushes that were found in a small rock garden and with only an average of sixty bushes growing a year and each producing roughly thirty-three mayngo annually; this made them not only expensive but an exclusive item of the very wealthy and elite. The best four hundred of the crop per year was turned into a type of wine and sold at three asari-exclusive restaurants located on Thessia, Illium and the Citadel. Liara had seen both the fruit and wine at her home but never felt a desire to try it. There were rumors that an asari had slipped some of the wine to her salarian lover and that the salarian had died as a result. Liara did not know if the story was true but she knew that giving the fruit or wine to other species was strictly forbidden.
She looked at the amber color of the whiskey, scrunched her nose and after taking a whiff of the liquid, emptied the contents in one quick gulp. The liquid's warmth could be felt as it traveled to her stomach and Liara enjoyed the feeling but not the smoky medicine after-taste. She had been shown how to act drunk by Sibila once and on Illium she had seen many different species inebriated, but she had no time for play-acting. She finished her report and then started stretching in her seat as some of her colleagues who were sitting around the camp fire erupted in laughter. After a long slow day of carefully scooping up and sifting through dirt the team of asari and salarians were chatting about their families, historical finds on previous digs, sports and warmer weather. Another eruption of laughter was heard as Liara flipped her netpad's screen over to her e-mail and her heart stopped. There was a letter from her mother.
These past couple years she had sensed a distance growing between her and the Matriarch along with small changes in her mother. The Matriarch was always busy and her time limited, but Liara was allowed less and less access and only in the evenings would she sneak into her mother's room and sleep with her. The mornings would find her mother kissing her awake and then the Matriarch was gone for the day. The changes that she saw in the Matriarch were so small and indefinable that after the tenderness of her mother in the mornings she told herself that she was being silly. Silly until the last time that she and the Matriarch were both at the T'Soni estate just three months past.
Benezia had arrived home after being away for three weeks and as usual had denied Liara access to her presence during the day. But this time she had also started locking her bedroom in the evenings so that Liara could not sneak in. Her mother had never done that in her life and after the fourth night Liara had broken down in tears at the door crying to be let in. The only response was silence as she heard the rustle of her mother's movements inside. "Mother, please let me in. I am sorry if I did anything wrong. Please mother." Silence even when the tears began to fall.
Liara in desperation had even stood outside her mother's reading room two days later and begged again to be let in only to have one of her mother's acolyte inform her that the Matriarch could not be disturbed. She had asked everyone from Shiala to Alestia what was going on but they simply shook their heads and walked away. Liara's panic increased when Kyriake had packed her things and moved out of the house on the Matriarch's orders. Kyriake had gone to the Guildhall and saw Liara in her office just so she could say goodbye, despite the Matriarch's strict instruction to not see her daughter. Kyriake, in tears, told Liara that she cared about her and the Matriarch and that if Liara ever needed someone to talk to that she would always be there for her. Liara couldn't help but worry that she would be asked to leave as well.
When Liara reached out to her Theia to tell her what had just happened with Kyriake and her own treatment, Tatiaria had seemed distant and rushed Liara off the phone, "Liara, trust the Matriarch. I must go." It wasn't until the day that Liara was leaving on a trip to Illium that Benezia appeared at the window of her private reading room and watched Liara get into the skylimo for the port. Liara had looked up, caught her breath as she saw her mother and as she went to wave Benezia turned away.
Liara worried that she had somehow disappointed her mother but she was quickly reassured by her cousin Sibila on Illium that the Matriarch was just busy with all of the demands from her various businesses that she was responsible for. "Li-Li, according to mother, there are some political shifts that might negatively impact our financial wealth and standing. You know how with politics there is always secrecy … mother says that it is requiring the Matriarch to move about in absolute secrecy." Sibila had tried to explain and reassure her younger cousin. Despite her cousin's words, Liara feared that the truth was darker. That it had something to do with the turian Spectre that she had met at the Opik Dinner on Illium years prior. The same turian that had shown up at their home.
For the last year, she had tried on numerous occasions to get more information out of the acolytes that she was close to, as well as her Theia and Kyriake but no one would talk about the Matriarch's activities, no one. Liara would have confronted her mother earlier but between her mother's absences and her own busy schedule between the Guildhall, Eli Academy, time spent on Kur'deshia and visits to her cousin on Illium she rarely saw her mother anymore. Now after months of no communication an e-mail from the Matriarch was in her inbox. Normally Liara would read this last, but it had been too long.
LIARA,
I WILL NOT BE HOME WHEN YOU RETURN LATER THIS MONTH AND MUST REMIND YOU THAT MY ACTIVITIES ARE NOT YOUR CONCERN. THE ACOLYTES AND TATIARIA SAID THAT YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING THEM WHAT I AM DOING AND WHERE I AM GOING. THAT IS FORBIDDEN. NOT ONLY FORBIDDEN BUT DISHONORS ME.
IT DISTURBS ME GREATLY THAT I MUST REMIND MY OWN DAUGHTER OF HER PLACE. YOU, AS MY DAUGHTER, DO NOT HAVE SPECIAL RIGHTS OR EXTRA PRIVILEGES. YOU ARE BUT A MAIDEN AND I AM A MATRIARCH FIRST AND FOREMOST. YOU MUST LEARN TO KEEP YOUR PLACE. I MAY HAVE OVERLOOKED YOUR BREACH OF PROTOCOL IN THE PAST BUT NO MORE. YES, YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER BUT I CAN HAVE YOU REMOVED FROM MY HOME IF YOU CONTINUE TO FORGET YOUR PLACE.
YOU ARE NOT A MATRIARCH. YOU ARE NOT ME. I AM DISAPPOINTED THAT I HAVE TO REMIND YOU OF YOUR PLACE AND SO OFTEN.
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW OR UNDERSTAND IS THAT MY RESPONSIBILITIES ARE REQUIRING ME TO FOCUS ON MATTERS OF GALACTIC IMPORTANCE THAT MAKE YOUR WANTS AND NEEDS NO LONGER MY CONCERN. I AM EVEN NOW CONTEMPLATING HAVING YOU RETURN TO ILLIUM. IF IT WERE NOT FOR YOUR TRAINING AT THE ACADEMY I WOULD HAVE NO HESITATION.
KEEPING THAT IN MIND, MY SCHEDULE IS SUCH THAT I WILL MISS YOUR PASSAGE INTO ADULTHOOD ON YOUR 100th BIRTHDAY NEXT YEAR. TATIARIA HAS AGREED TO STAND IN MY PLACE AND I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE STARTED THINKING ABOUT WHO YOU WILL CHOOSE AS YOUR MONIUM. THE YEAR WILL PASS QUICKLY SO MAKE SURE THAT YOU START PREPARING WITHIN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS. I WILL NOT DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU. IT IS SAID AND SO IT WILL BE DONE.
BENEZIA
Liara could feel her stomach tighten up as she reread, 'I WILL MISS YOUR PASSAGE INTO ADULTHOOD.' The only reasons that a mother would miss her daughter's passage into adulthood was death or a mother's way of showing disapproval of her daughter. If Benezia did not stand by Liara it would say that the Matriarch was not proud of her and that she did not approve of the asari' life choices. As Liara re-read the line over and over she felt hot tears roll down her face and her stomach start to cramp up. After one more read through of the letter she placed her face in her hands and began to cry. "Why mother?" Liara choked out, "What have I done?"
What have I done? Benezia thought as she looked at the shuttle filled with a group of her followers. She had met with her acolytes and commando guards just two days prior in the great ballroom of her home and explained to them a portion of what she had been involved with for the last few years. She explained that the turian Spectre, Saren Arterius, had located an artifact from a time long past that could change everything that they knew. Believing that the discovery could be used for good or for the darker path that Saren was going, Benezia was trying to guide Saren down a less destructive path. She carefully explained the dangers and highlighted the chances that anyone who continued on following her might die. She wanted, no ... she needed to make sure that they understood all the risks so that they could make their own choices with full knowledge of the dangers awaiting them. After the meeting she saw over half of her acolytes and three of her commandos choose to not follow her into the dangerous mission. The acolytes and commandos that left were in tears and offering prayers for her and the others safety with hopes that this mission would be over soon and they could return to the Matriarch. Each and every asari present at that meeting was sworn to absolute secrecy and Benezia knew that the oaths would be honored even to her death.
Benezia had seen the data from Dr. Shu Qian's flash drive just that year as Saren was slowly giving her more and more access. He had on more than one occasion subtly hinted that her daughter, Dr. Liara T'Soni, might be beneficial since the relic looked as if might have some connection to the Protheans. "We might need her expertise to help decipher some of the findings aboard the warship." Saren had said. Benezia agreed that if there was a need she would reach out to her daughter but inside she knew that Liara would never step on that warship, never be brought into what she was doing and never be near Saren again.
Saren had also told her that Sovereign appeared to have some kind of field that somehow corrupted minds and he believed that between the two they could withstand it. Saren then requested that the Matriarch enter his mind to gauge him as he started to come in contact with the warship called Sovereign. As the Matriarch entered his mind she moved about pulling memories, patterns and most of all his truth. She found that underneath his anger and need for revenge there was still a spark of his light. There was still his drive to protect the turians and a sense of loyalty to them. She also touched the pain that was attached to the loss of his brother and was the driving force behind his desire to put the new species called humans under his foot. Once she was no longer in his mind he had asked if she had everything she needed. "Yes. I have everything I need." Benezia answered.
Benezia had been traveling to the base that had the research team set up by Edan Had'dah which was located near the Perseus Veil. She had started reviewing their findings and now Saren was ready to make contact with the warship. Benezia agreed to wait on the research base where she would enter his mind once again after he returned to see if there were any changes.
Now as she sat looking out at the stars she felt her stomach knot up. Not at what she was about to do but about what she had done. She knew that Liara had probably received the letter from her. The letter that had torn at her very soul to write and she knew that it would crush Liara. Benezia knew that not being at her daughter's birthday would dishonor her but if things did not go as planned she would do more dishonor being there.
She knew that her daughter would believe that her not being there was a sign that she disapproved of her but that was the farthest thing from the truth. Liara was becoming the person that Benezia had hoped for when she first held her in her arms ... This belief was further shown to be true when Benezia had flown with Liara to Sur'Kesh and attended the funeral of Dr. Ronak. Liara had been so mindful of those suffering around her, thoughtful in the speech she had given in honor of her friend and careful to not offend that Benezia fought back tears of pride. Liara was showing the maturity and social graces of a young matron while displaying the complete openness of a maiden. Benezia could see that her daughter was growing up into a strong, well-spoken and kind asari that learned from other species outside of her own ... and it made her proud. But she also hoped that her daughter would not miss out on the joys of being a maiden. She needed to laugh more and experience pleasures as well. She had told her daughter that on the flight back and Liara had promised that she was happy and enjoying new things. Benezia had smiled and then talked about how well the Serrice Delphinus were doing that year which was a topic that both T'Soni's could chat about for hours.
Benezia looked out at the stars and remembered her daughter's pleas and tears outside her bedroom. She knew that she was going deeper into the black hole with Saren and letting Liara near her might make her stop. Seeing her young daughter made her question the dangerous path that she was on and that was not acceptable. The Matriarch could not waver in her mission to stop Saren. Liara was a liability and therefore had to be removed from her life.
"Mother, please let me in. Please." Her daughter had cried at her bedroom door that awful night. She had stood just on the other side, tears running down her own face and wanting so much to let her Little Wing in. She had even reached out to the door handle in a moment of weakness and stopped … stopped and moved away as if from a snake. "Mother! What did I do? Do you not love me anymore?" she heard the one true love of her life cry out. Benezia's heart felt as if it was on fire and as she fought crying out in pain, she placed her hand over her mouth and ran to her washroom where she closed out her daughter's cries.
No, with the potential dangers and the risk of not surviving, she was trying to distance herself from her daughter so that it did not cause her to hesitate or question her own plans at this stage. She had watched her daughter the day that Liara left for Illium and hated the pane of glass between them. She wanted to call out to her daughter, tell her that she loved her, stroke her cheek, kiss her freckles on her cheeks … but that would have been weakness. She cursed herself, cursed Saren, cursed Sovereign as she turned away from the window and thought, you can't be weak, not now. You must stay focused!