I don't own NCIS Los Angeles! My native language is Dutch and I'm dyslectic so sorry for any mistakes. Thank you for all the reviews, alerts and favorites!

Chapter 38

The team was standing in front of the house, ready to arrest their suspect. It had taken a day of searching and questioning people but they were fairly certain that this was Ayson's murderer. Aaron Kinney was seen in a fight with Rick Ayson after a night at a bar and they found his fingerprints on the knife that they found dumped into a trash bin next door with Ayson's blood on it.

'Ready?' Callen asked and they all nodded. They were all ready to bring some justice to the Ayson family. Callen signaled for Deeks and Kensi to go around the back. They were almost at the back when they heard a door open. Carefully Deeks and Kensi looked into the garden and they saw Aaron Kinney move out of the house. With their guns drawn, Deeks and Kensi moved into the garden.

'NCIS!' Kensi shouted.

'LAPD!' Deeks shouted at the same time. 'Don't move!' Kinney looked shocked and immediately started to run.

'Kinney is on the move!' Deeks yelled over their earpieces as he and Kensi ran after Kinney. 'He went around back, moving west to the street!' Kensi was running in front of him and suddenly he didn't see her anymore. He heard some sounds from the left and he turned into the alley. There he just saw Kensi tackle Kinney onto the ground. Before she could cuff him, she received a couple of punches.

'Don't move!' Deeks yelled, pointing his gun at Kinney, who stopped moving. Kensi spit some blood on the ground. Deeks moved his eyes to Kensi for just a second and that opportunity Kinney took. He kicked Kensi off him and got up again, ready to run away. But there were Callen and Sam standing with their guns ready.

'NCIS, Aaron Kinney, you're under arrest for the murder of Rick Ayson!' Sam told the man and Callen cuffed him. Deeks helped Kensi up.

'Are you okay?' he asked worried and Kensi nodded. She walked over to Kinney.

'That's what you get for ripping a father away from her daughter,' she told him and she spit on the ground in front of him.

Kensi smiled as she watched Deeks putting Olivia in the crib, babbling to their daughter. She was glad that her little girl had a father who loved her so much. Deeks gave their daughter one last kiss and walked out of the room. He walked passed her without looking at her. Kensi followed him to the living room where he sat down on the couch.

'Is there something wrong?' she asked him. Deeks stared at Monty, who was laying next to the TV. Kensi stepped in front of him, forcing him to look up and she repeated her question.

'Are thinking about others?' he asked her, sounding angrily. Kensi looked surprised at him. 'Are you?'

'Deeks…' she started. Deeks stood up so he was facing her.

'You just tackled that guy, without me as backup,' he said. 'You just tackled the guy without thinking. What if I wasn't there in time? What if he has a knife or a gun? Did you look in the mirror and seen the big bruise on the side of your face? Do you feel your ribs?' Kensi's hand went to the side of her face, wincing as she touched the bruise.

'I couldn't let Kinney get away,' she told him.

'You should if the choice is going after him alone or wait for back-up! You are a mom now and it's not just you!'

'Damn it, Deeks! I know that! You don't have to remind me all the time! I just wanted to give Noa some peace of mind by catching the guy who murdered her dad. Is that so strange! I knew you were only seconds away. You always are! I have been a mom for a long time! Why do you act like this now?'

''Cause Olivia is also my daughter!' Deeks yelled and Kensi just looked in shock at him. The silence was broken by cries of Olivia and Deeks walked away. Kensi swallowed her tears away and she walked into Damian's room. Why was Deeks acting like Damian was less important than Olivia?

Deeks knocked on the door of Damian's room. There came no sound from the other side of the door. Deeks sighed and he leaned against the door.

'I shouldn't have said that about Olivia,' he said, hoping that Kensi could hear him. 'It came out wrong. It isn't that I don't care about Damian…' He took a deep breath and he wished Kensi would just open that door. That would make it a lot easier. Talking to a door wasn't how he wanted to talk with Kensi.

'I'm just scared,' he admitted. 'We already lost Damian; I don't want to lose you too. Olivia already has to miss so much. It wouldn't be fair to her. I don't want her to lose any more.' He stopped talking and listened at the door but he didn't hear a thing out of the room. Was Kensi even in the room? Was he talking to no one? He knocked again on the door but still nothing. He stared at the doorknob and then he walked away. As he walked away, the doorknob went down and Kensi watched him walk away.

Kensi surprised Deeks the next morning by giving him a kiss and stroking Olivia over her head. She grabbed a bowl and filled it with cornflakes.

'Good morning,' Deeks said surprised and he drank some of his coffee. He actually wanted to pinch himself to see if he was still sleeping or not. Kensi had looked so hurt after their talk and the fact that she didn't come to their bed last night, he didn't expect this.

'Everything okay?' she asked with a spoon full of cornflakes ready to go into her mouth. Deeks shook his head casually. Kensi gave him a smile and he smiled back. This was weird, Deeks thought. It was like yesterday didn't happen. Acting like normal Deeks started to pack Olivia's bag for her day at Nina and the kids. Kensi had to take Olivia to the doctor this afternoon so she would stay only for the morning at Nina.

'The appointment was for two o'clock, right?' Kensi asked and Deeks nodded.

'Paper is on the fridge,' he told her and Kensi grabbed the piece of paper, reading it. After the appointment she was meeting Megan to drink some coffee.

'Shall we go?' Kensi asked and Deeks nodded. He took Olivia in his arms and they walked to the car.

'So this is the final moment in Callen's undercover?' Deeks asked and Sam nodded. They were sitting in a tuck and looking at the screens, seeing Callen walk towards a building. 'And how long was Callen undercover already?'

'About three months,' Sam answered. 'You know how it goes, Deeks. Not everything is discussed with the team. This was something Callen did alone.'

'And now, at the end, we're involved,' Deeks said. Sam nodded and concentrated on the screen. Deeks looked at his watch. Kensi would be at the doctor with Olivia. And he was sitting here in this truck, waiting for the action to happen. He turned his attention back to the screens. It was time to get focused. And just when he did that, it all went wrong.

The screens were black and the audio disappeared. From the truck they could hear gunfire and in seconds Deeks, Sam and the SWAT team were on their way to the warehouse. Deeks and Sam went looking for Callen as SWAT dealt with the suspects. They found Callen hiding behind a wall, bleeding from his stomach, only half conscious.

'You had to get shot G., didn't you,' Sam said and Callen smiled weakly, putting his hand on Sam shoulder, who was crouched down.

'I couldn't disappoint you, right,' he smiled.

'EMTs are on their way,' Deeks informed them and he nodded at Callen. 'Hang in there.' Callen nodded before slipping into unconscious.

Deeks and Sam were sitting in the waiting room while Callen was being operated on. Deeks jumped from his seat when he saw Kensi walking towards him. What shocked him the most that she was alone.

'How is Callen?' she asked him.

'Where is Olivia?' he asked her immediately, ignoring her question about Callen.

'She's at the neighbor,' Kensi answered. 'How is Callen?'

'They're operating right now,' Sam answered, stepping into their conversation. 'He was shot in his stomach but the doctor said he had a chance. And it's G. He always pulls through.' Kensi took a deep breath.

'How could you leave Olivia at the neighbors?' Deeks asked shocked. 'We have only known them for three weeks! We can't even call it know! We don't know what kind of people they are! And you just left our month old baby with them? Are you crazy? Have you learned nothing at all over the last couple of years! We can't trust the people we know so how can you trust someone we just met?'

'I wanted to see Callen since he was shot,' Kensi told him. 'And it didn't seem like a wise idea to take a one-month-old baby to the hospital! That is why I brought her to the neighbor!' Sam stepped between them.

'Stop it,' he hissed. 'This is not the place to fight. At least not until we know how G. is. We're here for him!'

'You could have brought her to Nina, to Megan,' Deeks said angrily. 'You had so many choices but you chose our neighbor? That's just stupid. You learned nothing from the last four years. Absolutely nothing! You're an irresponsible mom!' With those words Deeks walked away angrily. Right now he didn't care about how Kensi felt or how Callen was. He needed to get his baby girl.

Kensi looked in shock as Deeks walked away. She was an irresponsible mom…she didn't think when she brought Olivia to the neighbor. She just wanted to go to the hospital to see Callen, to see her friend. Sam put his arm around her, rubbing her arm.

'It's okay,' he said softly. 'He's just mad and worried.' Kensi shook her head. She knew that Deeks meant this. He really thought that she was a bad mom.

'Agent Hanna,' the doctor asked and Sam nodded. Kensi wiped away her tears and she looked at the doctor.

'How is Callen?' Sam asked the man.

'He's doing okay,' the doctor. 'The surgery went well. We got the bullet out and it didn't do too much damage. No important organs were hit. Your partner was a lucky guy.' Sam smiled.

'He has always been,' he told the doctor.

'Can we see him?' Kensi asked.

'He's just waking up but yes, you can see him,' the doctor answered and he walked them to Callen's room. Sam walked in the room first. Kensi first tried to remove any evidence of her tears but she knew that Callen would notice immediately.

'Hello, you are coming for your little girl?' the old neighbor asked with a sweet smile on her face. It took all from Deeks not to charged inside with his gun ready. He was that desperate to get his girl. To make sure she was okay. The old lady opened the door further and let Deeks inside.

'Your wife seemed desperate,' she said to him.

'She is not my wife,' he told her firmly as he walked along with her to the living room where Olivia was in the arms of the husband.

'She's a real sweet girl,' he told Deeks as he handed Olivia to him. Deeks hugged his little girl and kissed her several times. He was just so glad that she was okay.

'Do you want a cup of tea before you go?' the woman asked.

'No, thank you,' Deeks smiled politely. 'And thank you for taking care of her.'

'Of course,' the old man said. 'We're here when you need us. Is everything okay?'

'Umm, our friend was rushed to the hospital,' Deeks told them.

'Oh my,' the old lady said. 'You're sure that you want to take her? We can watch her for some more time. That won't be a problem. Then you can see your friend.'

'It's fine,' Deeks answered and he looked at Olivia. 'I'm taking her home.'

Kensi had gone into the lady's room in the hospital. She needed some time alone. Progress it all. Deeks being angry at her and Callen being shot. She needed to get everything straight. It was all too much right now. Kensi sank down to the floor, resting her head against the cool wall of the bathroom. She needed to get away. Going to her aunt seemed like a good idea right now. To get away from it all. She splashed some water in her face and walked out of the bathroom. Back to Callen's room.

'You're alright, Kens?' Callen asked.

'Shouldn't I be the one asking you?' Kensi forced a smile on her face. 'Considering that you have been the one that was shot.' Then she looked at Sam. 'You told him, didn't you?' Sam smiled and then he nodded.

'Coming back to the question: are you alright?' Callen asked.

'No,' Kensi answered honestly and Sam wrapped his arm around her.

'Now you have a choice to make,' he told her. 'Should we do easy and quickly or slowly and painful? Shot in the head or stabbing him to death?' Kensi smiled as she leaned onto Sam's shoulder. It was good to have friends, brothers like them.

This was one of the hardest choices Deeks had ever made in his life. He had never thought that he would have to make this choice, and he rather didn't have to make it. But he had. He had made the choice, with pain in his heart. He zipped his bag closed and sighed.

His eyes went to the picture of Kensi, Olivia and him on the nightstand. Kensi was holding Olivia in her arms and she was leaning against Deeks, who was half behind her, both lovingly looking at their daughter. He loved that picture. A similar picture was packed in his bag but that one was the one he loved the most. He hauled the bag of the bed and walked downstairs. He hated to leave the house that had become his home. To leave the family that had become his. But he needed to leave. This couldn't go on. Their situation had to change but it wouldn't change until he did something. He had written a note for Kensi and left it on the table where she would definitely find it. Hopefully his decision forced Kensi to take action, to change.

Deeks walked one more time through the house. Then he picked up Olivia, hugging her firmly.

'Everything is going to be okay, sweetheart,' he told her softly and he placed her in the car. He had to take several deep breaths before he could drive off.

Oh my God, she was really doing this. She was abandoning her child, again.

She had to turn around. She couldn't leave her baby like this! What kind of mother would that make her? Just as she made the turn, Kensi changed her mind. Leaving was the best thing she could do right now.

Deeks said it himself: Olivia needed a real mom and if she wanted to be the mom that Olivia deserved, Kensi had to leave. To get everything straight. In order to do that, she had to take a step back.

Back to her safe zone.

TBC.

This is all happening for a reason...I'm working towards the end of this story (which makes me very sad because I don't want it to end!)

All that I'm doing right now is updating so the chapters will follow each other quickly. Only tomorrow no update because then I'm away with the family the entire day.
To visit my grandfather's grave because tomorrow he's dead for 30 years. Which means (if you know my age) that I never got to met him, and that makes me sad because of from the story my dad tells about him, my grandfather sounds like a great man. I wish I had met him...