A/N: I NEED to start this author's note off with a HUGE 'I'm Sorry' that it has taken me SO damn long to get this chapter out. I've had a lot going on since my last post. For starters, I moved, I've gotten a new boss and my job has changed quite significantly.

This chapter has been written and rewritten a few times because I wanted to make sure that it was absolutely perfect. I've also been super scared and nervous to post because I've been worried about whether anyone was still reading or not. I hope and pray that y'all are still reading and riding this crazy roller coaster with me. If you remember, and I really hope that you do, in the last chapter, Beca and Jesse's life began to spiral out of control like it never has before.

Corinne, my dear, sweet friend... thank you SO much for always being such an amazing and supportive beta. I love and appreciate that you kick in me the ass when I need it but also that you laugh, joke and toss ideas around with me for this story. I love ya chick! xx

o~O~o
Eight Weeks Later
o~O~o

Beca sat drumming her fingers against the countertop as she perched on one of the bar stools in her kitchen. She stared moodily out of the window, wishing the rain that had been falling since the day before would go away so she could take a long walk and stretch her legs. She'd never experienced cabin fever before but after a very long, arduous few months watching Jesse beat his internal struggles and working more hours from home than she ever had in her entire career, she was even excited about the prospect of a trip to the grocery store.

Sighing heartily, she rested her head on her hand and played with the spoon that she'd left lying on the granite counter, twirling it around before letting it drop with a clatter. She had very quickly figured out that she hated the constant silence that surrounded her these days and had taken to alternatively chatting to the dogs most of the day to singing to the bump that she protectively rubbed with a mixture of pleasure and anticipation.

By Christmas, Beca had hit the halfway point of her pregnancy. She just had to make it a few more weeks which would mean that if she went into labor early the baby would be viable and in a much stronger position to survive. It was both a happy time and sad time. If her body hadn't betrayed her, then Bodhi would be here, with her but if that were the case, then she wouldn't have this baby. It was a bittersweet time for her but there was no one to share her feelings with. She couldn't remember the last time she had spoken with anyone and had even taken to passing the time of day with the lady in line behind her at the grocery on Christmas Eve because it had been a full five days since she'd last uttered a word to anyone. She absentmindedly rubbed the spot on her ribcage where her tattoo was and prayed that this baby would make it to the end of the pregnancy. She wasn't sure she would live through losing another baby, she had barely made it through losing Bodhi. At least then, she had had Jesse by her side, well… for the most part, even as they struggled to come to terms with it in their own ways.

Now she just felt very alone.

It was towards the middle of November when Jesse finally began to show signs of getting better and started acting more like his old self. Despite everything that he had put himself and his new wife through, Beca had made a silent promise to stand by him. She believed in the vows that they had taken and wasn't about to neglect her duties as a wife, no matter how difficult Jesse made it.

Standing up, she collected her mug and spoon and rinsed them in the sink before placing them in dishwasher. She easily recalled the conversation she'd had with Jesse before Luke had turned up unannounced, carrying a box full of cookies, three magazines for Jesse and something very heavy on his mind.

Luke issued an ultimatum... it was time to choose between Jesse and the rest of her family and friends.

Beca couldn't believe what she had heard.

Perhaps if Luke had asked at a different time or in a different way, Beca could have seen what he was trying to do rather than feel threatened and pushed into a corner. She appreciated what he was trying to do but she didn't have a callous bone in her body and wasn't about to walk away from a marriage that had only just begun… even if the road had been ridiculously hard.

Banging the door of the dishwasher shut, she pulled her hoodie tighter around her shoulders, shivering slightly from a weird sense of loss, rather than the cool air in the kitchen. She hated her incredible memory and her attention to detail. It made forgetting everything that happened all that more difficult.

o~O~o
Flashback
o~O~o

In the weeks since Jesse's relapse and subsequent hospitalization, Beca found that she had a lot of time to think and stew about the direction her life had taken since she had met him. In some ways, she could easily admit that a lot of it had been exciting but she also had a lot of time to get angrier about the things that had gone so wrong. On one hand, it had certainly been an exhausting few months, a lot had happened, on the other, it had also an extremely complex year.

Jesse's collapse was one drama too many for Beca to handle and she had taken to writing her feelings down in the day planner in her purse. She hadn't intended for anyone to read it so she was horrified to find Jesse with it in his hands after she'd returned to his room following a trip to the cafeteria for a banana and a cup of yogurt in the middle of the night. She wasn't exactly hungry but knew she had to have something for the sake of the baby she was carrying.

She stood motionless. Waiting for Jesse to say something, anything.

"So, you really hate me huh?" Jesse had croaked, his voice raspy and weak from the tube that had been buried in his throat for nearly three weeks.

"Jesse, I..." Beca had begun to try to explain.

"No, I get it." Jesse said, throwing Beca's journal down onto the covers next to him. "The funny thing is, I'm not even mad because you're right. I am useless."

"Jess… I needed someone to talk to. I had to have an outlet for my thoughts and feelings. I needed to keep my stress to a minimum for the baby's sake. I can't go through another February." She sighed. "It became so blatantly obvious that I couldn't talk to you about any of this. You used to be the one I turned to for everything. You understood me… or at least I thought you did. You put up with…" She paused to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I mean, we shared the best and worst of life together, every spare thought I had was about you and now... now, I'm on my own."

"But you aren't, are you?" Jesse said, the glint in his eye apparent.

"What do you mean?"

"You aren't 'on your own'."

"Well, you're in here and even you should be able to admit that things haven't been right between us for a while. You've been distant since..."

"... since Bodhi?"

"Well, yeah. We seemed all right before then. We went out, did things, enjoyed life, met up with friends and enjoyed nights in. But it was always us, together."

"It's always been hard competing with another man for your affections. It was easier to play the game and go along with what you wanted us to do. It-"

"-Wait, hold up. What are you talking about? What other man? What game? Jesse, what are you talking about?"

"I've always been compared to another man."

"I've never-"

"-He's always been the one you turn to first. Call, text, run to."

"Jesse, you're my husband."

"Physically and on paper I'm your husband but emotionally, Luke is-"

"-Luke?!" Beca said, walking towards the bed and pulling up a chair next to Jesse. "Is this what this is all about? Luke is my best friend and has been since we were 8 years old. I have no feelings for him in that way. Do I love him? Yes, of course I do. I love him with all of my heart and I always will, but not in the same way that I love you. You wouldn't be thinking like this if Luke was a girl."

Jesse thought about what Beca said for a moment before answering. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing sensible was coming to him. Deep down, she'd made a very valid point.

"Jesse, do you love me?" Beca asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you want to be married to me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, don't get too enthusiastic about it." Beca said, the sarcasm clearly evident in her voice.

"Can it just be us for a while?"

"What do you mean?"

"Can we shut everyone else out and just work on us?"

"Well, yeah. Of course we can but this works both ways Jesse. If you want me to shut everyone out to give you all the time you need to work through whatever is going on with you and so that we can sort out this marriage, then you have to put some work in yourself."

"So, this is all on me now?" Jesse bit back.

"Please don't heap all of the blame back onto me Jesse. You need to take responsibility for your actions. The only thing I am guilty of is giving you a lot of second chances. I have given you all that I had and more. I didn't put the drink in your hands. I didn't tell you to try and kill yourself. And I didn't crawl on top of myself and get pregnant on my own. This baby is the fresh start you need… we need, and you need to accept it. Be the guy that I fell in love with. I can't do that for you."

"Well, you need to..." Jesse began angrily, before shaking his head as if he had changed his mind about speaking.

"What Jess? What do I need to do that I don't do already?"

"Let me be a man."

"Then start by treating me like a woman, your wife and the mother of your children. Treat me like I'm priority… not an option."

"This is why I need it to just be us for a while. No Luke. No Amy. No Mom and Dad. Just you and me."

"You need me to spend more time with you… fine, you got it. I can do that. But don't you dare make me choose between you and the people I love Jesse. That is one thing I don't appreciate and I won't do."

o~O~o

As the memory flickered across her mind, Beca shuddered at the words she had uttered moments before Luke had entered the room. With Jesse's eyes boring into her soul, she had swallowed her annoyance and fear as she told Luke that she promised Jesse she would see him through his journey. It had broken her heart to ask Luke to leave Jesse's hospital room. Her best friend, in the entire world, had not taken his eyes off of hers as he walked backwards through the door. He never stopped staring as she closed the door in his face. She never moved as she heard him sigh heavily before the soft footfalls on the squeaky linoleum signaled he had walked away after ten minutes.

She dropped to the floor and cried. She didn't care that Jesse could hear and see her. She tried to explain it to him; she felt that she was mourning Luke's friendship. Jesse had just scoffed and turned over in his bed, pulling his phone out from underneath his pillow and spending the evening texting on it.

Beca wasn't quite sure what to make of the whole thing but she dutifully sat by her husband's side until he fell asleep. She had no idea where their relationship was heading. She gathered up her day planner, collected her purse and headed out of the hospital to her car. She sat hugging the wheel as the tears poured down her face. It was then that she felt it for the first time.

The baby kicked.

Hard.

"Wow." Beca said, sitting upright in the chair. "You ok in there little one?" She rubbed her tummy while she pulled her day planner from her purse on the passenger seat. She wanted to make a note of the date, recording the event because, unlike Jesse, she welcomed the pregnancy with an open heart. As she circled the words 'baby's first kick' a couple of times, she saw the diary entry for her eighteen week ultrasound the following week. She cried as she thought that she really didn't want to have to go to the appointment alone.

o~O~o

In time, Jesse finally came home but it wasn't quite the happy homecoming it should have been. Weeks of therapy and support group meetings had left Jesse bitter and feeling as if he had no control over his life. Beca attended as many of his appointments as she could in between looking after the house and maintaining a presence in the office. She was at the hospital every day until Jesse came home.

Walking through the front door, Jesse had ignored the puppies and gone straight out to the pool area, taking a seat on the morning porch and not moving, except to light cigarette after cigarette for six hours. It set the tone for the next two weeks. Jesse would wake up, shower and sit outside. Beca would leave for work in the dark and return home in time to make dinner. Except for the notes that they had traded on the fridge, Beca and Jesse hadn't really spoken in weeks. It was the same thing, over and over again. Grocery lists would mysteriously disappear and the groceries would appear in the pantry or the fridge. The laundry was always done and the bills were always paid. No questions asked. It was all just taken care of.

They coexisted, lived under the same roof and even shared a bed but they were living like ships passing in the night. What Jesse didn't know was that the only reason Beca allowed him to sleep in their bed was because she was terrified that he would have another relapse. Every night, once she was sure that he was in a deep sleep, she would tie their ankles together with the belt from her robe so that she would know if he was getting up to drink in the middle of the night. Despite her exhaustion, she even managed to wake up before him to remove the belt.

Because of their current living situation, the last thing Beca expected was for Jesse to pay any attention at all to the twenty six week ultrasound appointment card she'd left on the fridge. It was more of a reminder for herself, not an invitation for Jesse. The last thing she needed was the stress of him showing up where he wasn't wanted… or needed.

When she left the house on the morning of her appointment, she left without saying a word. She grumbled when she saw Jesse sitting on the couch in the family room binge watching 'That 70's Show' on Netflix and laughing like nothing was wrong. She couldn't believe that this is what their life had become. Where had she gone so wrong? What had she done to deserve this?

Beca shook her head as walked through the family room and the kitchen toward the garage. She needed to get out of the house but more importantly, she needed to get to her appointment. As she placed her phone into her purse, she tossed around the idea of calling Luke. She hadn't spoken to him in weeks and missed everything that being his best friend provided her with. She missed him and she missed his company. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she jammed her phone into the side pocket and hurried out of the door. Calling Luke wasn't going to solve her problems.

o~O~o

The waiting room at the doctor's office, while warm and inviting, did nothing to improve Beca's mood. As much and as hard as she tried to leave her piss poor attitude at the door, it seemed to follow her everywhere she went these days. She signed in and exchanged forced pleasantries with Alice, the front desk receptionist, before taking a seat.

She noted that the beige carpet was spotless and that the walls had been freshly painted a warm Earthy tone since her last visit. The wall that was once filled with leaflets, pharmaceutical advertising posters and directions had been replaced with an aquarium, filled with tropical fish and a sunken submarine.

She wasn't quite sure what the point of the aquarium was but found that she couldn't pull her attention away from it. Watching the fish was actually quite relaxing and she soon found herself giggling when she spotted a couple of fish that looked like Nemo and Dory. She even wondered what Sawyer would say if she told him that she was going to put an aquarium in her office.

Beca shook her head bringing herself back to the present. She couldn't think about work or Jesse or anything else at that moment. She needed to be selfish for a while and just think about herself and her baby.

Beca sat comfortably on one of the overstuffed sofas, reading a magazine while she waited to be called. The doctor was running a few minutes late and all was fine as she checked her watch until she got that feeling… the one in the pit of her stomach that told her that he was close by. Looking towards the door, she immediately saw him as he walked in and approached the reception desk. Beca felt the chilly January air blow into the waiting room and sunk into the soft cushions of the couch, hoping that she could make herself small enough that he wouldn't see her.

No such luck. Jesse's eyes found hers as soon as the door closed behind him, the loud clunk turning a few heads in his direction.

Beca glared at him as she thought, "Why is he here?".

Up to that point, he had missed every single appointment, which was probably for the best. But it was obvious, by his sudden appearance, that he had seen the appointment card and made the decision to attend this appointment on his own merit. Beca wasn't quite sure whether to be pleased or upset.

"What are you doing here?" Beca asked as Jesse stood in front of her, saying more to her husband in that moment than she had in the last several weeks.

Jesse shrugged. "I couldn't let you do this alone."

"Well, so far, I've been doing just fine on my own. I've been alone for all of the other appointments. So, why are you here now?"

"But you don't have to-"

"-And you didn't have to come."

"I wanted to." Jesse said quietly.

"Why Jesse? Why now?" Beca asked with more than a tinge of exasperation in her voice.

Jesse sat down next to Beca, reaching out his quivering fingers and trying to hold her hand. She immediately recoiled, her eyes darting around the room to see if anyone else was watching their exchange before locking eyes with Jesse. She stared at him defiantly until he looked away. He couldn't say that he was surprised. "We have a lot to be thankful for."

"Do we?" The pain and anger evident in her response. "I seem to recall being accused of having an affair and trying to pass this baby off as yours."

Jesse dropped his head. "Beca… I-"

"-Believe me, you don't know how much I wish this baby was someone else's." She said as she put a protective arm around her bump and turned her back on Jesse. She didn't even care that a polite cough on the other side of the room signaled that she had been a little shrill in her biting remark to Jesse. She felt Jesse blanche as she picked up the magazine she'd been enjoying just a few minutes earlier and furiously swiped at the pages, ripping the corners off of two sheets in her haste to swallow her anger before her appointment.

Jesse sat quietly, trying to decide whether he should get up and leave or try and fix the mess he'd created. Seeing the note on the fridge had stirred something in him, a feeling he'd suppressed and ignored. He'd pulled a juice box from the fridge and collected a bag of chips from the pantry before kicking the door shut with his foot. He was in his own world as he retraced his steps out of the kitchen, pausing at the door as something caught his eye.

It was a small container by the kitchen sink that contained pregnancy vitamins and pamphlets on healthy eating during pregnancy. How had he not noticed that before? Wondering what else he'd missed, he carried his drink and snack up the stairs and wandered into their shared bathroom. Beca's things were stacked neatly in a basket on the left side of the vanity while his were shrewn haphazardly everywhere on the right. Her towel was folded neatly and hung on the towel rack while his was thrown on the floor.

Without thinking, he dropped his juice box and chips in the sink and began to straighten up his shaving cream, razor and face wash. He collected his towel and folded it as best he could before hanging it next to Beca's. He glanced over at her basket and caught sight of her perfume. Reaching over, he pulled it from its place and took off the cap. Inhaling deeply, he instantly felt a calm wash over him, the scent acting like a warm blanket on a cold day as he knew this was what home felt like.

He was about to replace the bottle when he saw a tube of Mederma cream right at the front. Looking at it for a full minute, the fog began to lift from his brain. It hit him like a shit ton of bricks that Beca was carrying his child and that her body was changing shape to grow their baby. He hadn't even noticed any changes in her appearance since she'd become pregnant and felt ashamed that he simply hadn't cared enough to bother.

Walking back into their bedroom and munching on his chips, he saw one the closet doors was slightly ajar. Knowing Beca hated the door being left open at night, citing a childhood fear of the Closet Monster, he was surprised that it wasn't pushed shut. Using his foot to create enough space for him to walk through, he turned on the light and watched as it illuminated all of his belongings. Everything was neatly stacked as it always was but he noticed a couple of store bags that had yet to be unpacked and put away.

Thinking that was unusual for Beca to not keep everything in its place, he opened one of the bags and looked inside. He wasn't sure if he was surprised or not to see a couple of packets of onesies nestled under some tissue paper. A pack of baby bottles filled the other bag.

Tears began to prickle at his eyes, this baby was real and happening and Beca was quietly preparing for his or her arrival by herself and he was doing nothing to support either of them. He backed out of the closet and kicked the door shut, leaving their bedroom with just as much tenacity.

Walking across the hallway, he held his breath as his hand took hold of the door knob that would have been his son's bedroom. The click of the door sounded very loud as he slowly pushed it open and looked inside. To his sheer relief, he immediately saw the room was exactly as he remembered it. All of Bodhi's things had been boxed and either put away or given to goodwill. The half painted walls were left unfinished and only a small chair in the corner of the room remained.

Sighing again, he closed the door behind him but instinctively knew that the room opposite was earmarked for the new baby and he decided to go and have a look inside. Entering the room, he saw that he was right and Beca had indeed been busy. While the room remained undecorated, he caught sight of a changing table waiting to be built, the parts stacked neatly against the wall, partially covered with a thin plastic sheet. He saw a small basket filled with soft toys perched on top of a box with a picture of a rocking horse on the outside. A new light fixture and a rocking chair sat in the middle of the room, and new mini blinds leaning up against it.

'There's no crib.' He thought to himself then realized that she was probably waiting to find out the sex of the baby before purchasing any gender themed bedding or the rest of the furniture. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he realized that while Beca was quietly preparing to become a Mommy, he was completely unprepared for the baby's arrival.

Remembering the doctor's appointment card on the fridge, he dropped his juice and chips on the floor and ran to the top of the stairs. Jogging all the way down and to the fridge, he checked the time of the appointment before looking at his watch. Mentally calculating the distance in his mind, he reasoned he could just about make it if he hurried. Grabbing his coat, he locked the front door in a hurry and kicked over the tall plant on the front step, deciding to leave it where it was until he got home to clean it up rather than wasting precious time to find the broom.

Racing out of the driveway, he hurried down the hill and turned left onto the main road that would take him directly to the doctors office. Luck was on his side and the traffic was minimal as he pulled into the parking lot and took the stairs two at a time into the building.

Relief flooded his system as his eyes sought out Beca in the waiting room and it took him a few seconds to remember that just because he had had an epiphany about his unborn child, it didn't mean that Beca knew his every thought. As she sent her scathing remark in his direction, he visibly flinched as she turned her back on him, taking out her frustration on a Homes and Garden publication.

It stung. Her words stung. Did she really wish that the baby was someone else's? Is that really what she wanted? But as much as he wanted to be hurt and pissed off by what she had just admitted, he couldn't blame her for feeling the way she did. What the fuck had possessed him to say those things to her? Had he accused her simply to take the focus off of himself and his affair? He desperately wanted to tell her that he was sorry and that he'd gone too far but the words stuck in his throat as he watched her chest heave with the exertion of trying not to cry in public.

Before Jesse could respond, a nurse in pink scrubs walked into the waiting room. "Beca… you can come on back."

Without saying another word to Jesse, Beca swung her purse onto her shoulder, stood up and walked toward the nurse. Jesse decided to follow at a safe distance. He knew Beca well enough to know that he'd fucked up and she wasn't just going to forgive him just because he said that he was sorry. It was going to take time and simply showing up for an ultrasound appointment wasn't going to cut it. He had a lot to make up for and he made his mind up that he was going to set up the baby's room to show her that he was sorry. He didn't quite have the full plan sorted of what he was going to do but he knew Beca would appreciate the effort… or at least he hoped she would.

Jesse had been beyond horrible to Beca and he knew damn well that she didn't deserve it. As the memories of all of the things that she had done for him in the past filtered back into his memory, he felt more and more ashamed. There was no way he could make up for what he'd done to her. He had left her alone for Christmas and New Years, preferring to stay in hospital, even though he'd been given a day pass for both holidays, where he knew he could spend his days on his phone. In his defense, he thought that she had gone with her parents to Aspen for the holidays. He didn't know she'd cooked a full holiday meal of ham, turkey, baked macaroni, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce and more pies than was normal. He wasn't aware that she'd scrubbed everything from top to bottom to make the house look amazing and that afterward she spent two hours in the bath resting her aching back afterwards. He hadn't known that she'd lovingly wrapped a few gifts for him and placed them under a tree she'd decorated in a hurry to prepare for him coming home.

It was only after the New Year, when Luke visited Jesse in the hospital while Beca was out running errands, that he found out that Beca spent the holidays at home alone with the dogs. The news didn't seem to bother Jesse at all, which only served to piss Luke off even more. Without saying another word, Luke responded by punching him in the face. As Jesse nursed his swollen lip, it occurred to him that either Luke had been in contact with Beca the entire time, against his wishes and despite her saying that she'd cut all ties with her friends and family or Luke had been watching from afar.

When he questioned Luke about it, he received a stern and well thought out answer. Jesse knew beyond any shadow of a doubt, that Beca had done everything she said she would. He was about to mock Luke for not being able to leave Beca alone when he saw Luke shut and lock his door.

Luke explained how he would drive by to check on the house a few times a week, despite Beca's pleas for him to stay away. He saw Beca through the large kitchen window and could imagine the most amazing smells as he stood on the street side of the gates. Luke told Jesse that he'd let himself into the house to 'check the roof' after a particularly bad thunderstorm and found all of the evidence of her hard work. As he described in detail how she had decorated the house for his homecoming, Jesse felt a familiar pull in his heart. He hated to think about her being alone at the most important time of the year… and then he remembered where he was, what he was doing and all that he had done.

Jesse was brought back to the present when he heard Beca's voice.

"Hi Jen." Beca said sweetly as they entered the examination room. "How's Brad and the kids?"

"They're great! We signed Rowen up for spring t-ball and Stella just started walking. Time goes so fast but I love watching them grow and change." She said excitedly.

"They can start sports that young?" Beca asked as she kicked off her shoes and stood on the scale.

Jen grinned as she began to write some details on Beca's chart. "They call it t-ball but in all actually it's a bunch of toddlers running around in batting helmets while looking like bobbleheads."

Beca laughed, stepping off of the scale and made a show of ignoring Jesse as he hung out nervously in the door frame. "Oh please take videos! This I have to see!"

"Sure thing!" Jen said as she jotted Beca's weight in her chart and handed her a little cup to pee in. "You know what you have to do with this."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Beca mumbled as she excused herself to the restroom.

Jesse noticed that Beca was overly warm and friendly with Jen. She was able to change her emotions with a flip of a switch it seemed. As much as he thought he knew her, he had to admit, maybe he really didn't know her at all. It never occurred to him that she was hiding her emotions and holding it together as desperately as a cracked egg shell. Jen smiled in his direction and offered him the chair in the corner of the room. He shook his head and said he was fine where he was as Beca emerged from the bathroom clutching her cup of pee. She rolled her eyes at Jesse and shared a knowing smile with Jen. Beca knew that hospitals made Jesse nervous but she wouldn't admit that she enjoyed watching him squirm. As Jen left the room, Beca cleared her throat and pointed to the chair that Jesse had declined to sit in. He took his lumps and sat nervously on the hard back chair as Beca sat in a comfier one next to the exam table.

They sat in awkward silence as they waited for Dr. Kaiser to come into the exam room. Beca checked through some emails while Jesse busied himself reading all of the medical information that hung on the walls. Occasionally, he would wince or make a other noises as he realized all of what went into birthing a baby. Beca suppressed a giggle as Jesse's leg began to twitch when he looked at a picture of a set of forceps.

Jesse immediately took his seat when he heard Dr. Kaiser remove Beca's chart from the door. The door gently swung open and Dr. Kaiser's eyes landed on Jesse. He instantly felt like he wasn't welcome judging by the look on the doctor's face. He reasoned that she was surprised to see him which is something he could understand seeing as he hadn't been to any of the other appointments and Beca had probably told the truth of his whereabouts.

"Hey Beca. How are you and the little one feeling today?" Dr. Kaiser said, closing the door behind her. She nodded a greeting in Jesse's direction.

"We're good." Beca responded, rubbing her bump lovingly.

Dr. Kaiser flipped through the chart in her hand. "Everything looks great. Your glucose test came back negative, which is just what we want to see. Your weight is pretty much on point and your vitals are good."

Beca smiled. Some of her worries and concerns had been alleviated with those few sentences.

Dr. Kaiser could see the Beca's face relax a little, though she still wondered why Jesse was there given the things Beca had confided in her. She brushed it off, making a mental note to call or text Beca later to make sure everything was really ok. "I'm going to take a few fundal growth measurements before we proceed with the ultrasound. Ready?"

Beca nodded, stood up and moved over to the examination table. She climbed up, wishing she were a foot taller, then laid back and lifted her blouse so that Dr. Kaiser's measurements would be as accurate as possible. "Right at twenty two and a half centimeters… that's just a tad bit small but I'm not surprised since you're quite petite to begin with. Just to be sure, we'll double check everything during the ultrasound."

"Are you sure?" Beca asked. Her voice was immediately laced with concern.

Dr. Kaiser took Beca's hand to reassure her. "I'm positive."

When it came time for the ultrasound, Jesse watched as Beca raised her shirt a little higher, exposing the tattoo she'd gotten months before. He knew she wouldn't let him hold her hand, though in that very moment, he really wanted to. He missed her soft, pale skin. Placing his hand on the bed next to Beca, he found his fingers being drawn to her tattoo. As he gently stroked her side and her ribs, he felt her entire body stiffen, but as he continued, she seemed to relax.

"So… are we ready to see this little munchkin on the big screen?" Dr. Kaiser asked.

Beca smiled. She had been waiting for this all day. She was both excited and apprehensive about it. She had been feeling the baby move so she knew that at least that much was ok. It was everything else that worried her. "Yes please." She said in a voice so small, it almost couldn't be heard.

Dr. Kaiser took her time, checking anything and everything she could see, measure and double check. She wanted to make absolutely sure that the baby was healthy and developing normally. She smiled as she moved the wand over Beca's perfect alabaster skin. "Beca… did you know that your mom called me?"

"She did?" Beca asked, puzzled. "Why?"

Dr. Kaiser grinned. "She wanted me to tell her the sex of the baby and said that the two of you weren't speaking very much at the moment. When I told her that so far the baby was being very stubborn about showing us the goods, she didn't believe me. Is everything all right with the two of you?"

Beca rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, I've just been busy with work and..." Beca looked over towards Jesse, "... some personal matters but even if I told her the baby wasn't cooperating, she wouldn't have believed me either. I should have warned you that she might call. The last time I spoke to her, she said she wanted to throw a gender reveal party when the time was right."

"You don't want a party?" Dr. Kaiser asked as she watched the screen and jotted a few things in Beca's chart.

"No, not really." Beca told her. "Boy or girl… it really doesn't matter. I just want a healthy baby."

Dr. Kaiser stopped moving to wand, placing it on the tray next to the bed. Taking Beca's hand in her own she asked. "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?"

Without even asking what Jesse thought, Beca nodded her head.

Dr. Kaiser picked up the ultrasound wand and began moving it around on Beca's bump. "Let's see if this little one will cooperate with us today." Dr. Kaiser continued to look around, jotting things in Beca's chart as she went and explained that she was taking measurements to make sure that the baby was growing appropriately.

A few minutes later, Dr. Kaiser made Beca jump when she suddenly said, "Ah ha! There it is! Gotcha little one. Couldn't hide the goods from me forever."

Beca giggled. She thought it was hilarious that Dr. Kaiser was having an "ah ha" moment with the baby.

"You ready Beca?"

"As ready as I've ever been." She said excitedly.

"Well, you have a beautiful… healthy… perfect… little... princess!" Dr. Kaiser announced. "Would you look at her?! She's sitting up and has her little ankles crossed like a perfect little lady."

When Beca looked at the screen, the baby was sucking on her hand but Dr. Kaiser was right, she was sitting with her ankles crossed like a little princess.

"Well Beca… looks like you need to go eat some lunch."

"Huh?" Beca asked, unable to take her eyes off of the screen. She was drinking in the image of the baby growing inside her. It had suddenly all become very real for her.

"Honey, your daughter is going to town on her fist. It's clearly time to eat, well… at least by her time clock it is." Dr. Kaiser chuckled as she printed out a bunch of ultrasound pictures for Beca.

"Oh… right." Beca said as she sat up and rubbed the gel off her belly with the sheet. "I guess I am getting a little hungry." Pulling her shirt down over her belly.

"Well… you go feed this little princess and I'll see you both back in two weeks. Try and up those calories with some healthy snacks and try to get as much rest as possible. You look exhausted." Dr. Kaiser patted Beca's leg. "And congratulations! She's perfect."

Finding out that their daughter was healthy was a blessing that Beca felt came from Bodhi. Dr. Kaiser promised to continue to keep a very close eye on Beca and monitor the baby very closely. She vowed that she wasn't taking anymore chances with Beca or the baby, especially after what happened with Bodhi.

When Dr. Kaiser left the room, Jesse's eyes met Beca's and without saying anything, she took his hand and placed it on the swell of her belly allowing Jesse to feel the baby move. For the first time, Jesse felt the baby kicking, something he'd only experienced a few times before Bodhi passed. Just as quickly, Beca dropped his hand, slid off of the examination table, collected her purse and without saying a word, she walked out of the exam room. She hoped that feeling the baby move would give him the kick in the ass that he needed to get his life in order before it was too late.

Jesse was thankful that Beca allowed him a few seconds to feel the baby, their daughter, moving around blissfully unaware of all the pain that her mommy was feeling in her heart. He also found himself growing more and more excited about the baby and the promises that came along with bringing a new life into the world. He hoped that this little girl would be a fresh new start for their family but he also worried. He worried that he'd never be good enough. He worried that he'd never measure up to Will. Beca had a relationship with her dad that was unshakable; nothing could ever come between them. He had seen that with his own eyes and he wasn't sure that he could learn everything before the baby arrived.

The memory of seeing his little girl on the screen was burned into his brain and he closed his eyes and raised them to the ceiling. He knew he had to step up. He had to make this right. He was suddenly afraid of losing everything that he had. He began to form a plan in his mind.

But he needed some help first.

A/N: So... now that you've read the chapter... do you think Beca and Jesse can survive the damage? Or is what's happened too much for them recover from? Can the baby bring them together at the most momentous time of their life?