They stood holding each other, neither willing nor able to let go again so soon after so many years apart. The crowd of Zelandonii watched, most with tears in their eyes. Even the ones who had no idea what was going on were touched by the obvious emotion of the scene, for the time being forgetting all about the awesome spectacle they had witnessed only moments before. Jondalar's cheeks were just as wet as Ayla's as he watched the dream closest to her heart finally come true. His own heart ached with happiness at the joy he knew she must be feeling at this moment.
Latie stood on the other side of the camp, also watching the other half of her heart being granted his fondest wish. She too cried tears of joy for him. It had taken them a full turning of the seasons to get here, even with the horses, but the sight before her made all the tedious travel more than worth it. She was feeling her own joy at seeing Ayla again as well. She had missed the woman who had made such a tremendous impact on her life for the too short time she had graced the Mamutoi with her presence.
She too had watched in awe as the connection between mother
and son became, for a short time, visible in the physical world. Durc
had told her about it in whispered words as they lay in their furs
night after night, but she had never expected to witness it, nor had
she expected it to be so incredibly powerful, not to mention
beautiful. Her face had registered the same shock as the rest of the
witnesses but not for the same reasons. She had come to expect the
unusual, first from Ayla, then again from her mate. It was not the
connection that was so awe inspiring for her, but the unconditional
love which had created it and the tremendous power that love had
given it in the end.
Finally the mother and son separated and the
two groups sighed as one. Compassion was written even in the
staunchest of faces. It did not take long for reality to set in for
both groups though, as they watched them quietly conversing. Soon
both groups of people began to squirm in the intense silence and it
was slowly filled with whispered questions and hushed replies. When
the tension in the groups began to rise subtly, it was with one mind
that both Jondalar and Latie decided to interrupt.
Each began a slow path toward the two still so enraptured with each other. Jondalar, having given the babies to family for the moment, approached hesitantly while Latie came bouncing forward with a smile on her face. It took a moment for Jondalar to recognize the dark haired woman coming towards him as he approached Ayla and Durc, but when he did, he grinned in stunned disbelief.
"Latie?" he called, still shocked but pleased. She nodded happily but pointed insistently at the two still so engrossed with each other. He instantly understood and wisely decided greetings could be saved for later. Right now, something must be done to forestall what he knew could quickly become a dangerous situation. What these people had witnessed could not go ignored or unexplained for long.
"Ayla?" he called gently.
Ayla started and then turned to Jondalar. She had been so wrapped up in her son that she had forgotten all about everyone else. Seeing Jondalar's hesitant face she grinned.
"Jondalar! I would like you to meet my son. Durc of the Clan of the Cave Bear; friend of the Great Cave Lion and chosen of the Mother, meet Jondalar of the Zelandonii; son of Marthona, the former leader of the Ninth Cave, brother of Joharran, current leader of the Ninth Cave and soon, hopefully, to be my mate," she said stepping back slightly from between the two men.
Jondalar smiled at the young man and held out his hands, palms up, in greeting. It seemed like he had been waiting almost as long as Ayla for this moment. He was as grateful as she that her first born and dearly missed son had arrived at last. He looked closely at the young man, seeing the obvious signs of his Clan heritage, but more, seeing his Ayla in his face as well. His eyes were all Clan but that high forehead was hers, and it was now crinkled in thought just as Ayla's did when she was worried. His high wide cheek bones were Ayla's too and his chin. The stubborn tilt of it reminded him so much of the woman he loved that he immediately stopped seeing Durc as a mixed man and saw him instead as Ayla's son; a son she loved very much and one he could now love as well, through his love for her.
"Welcome home, Durc," he said gently when the young man reached to grasp his hands. Startled brown eyes met bright vivid blue and then Durc visibly relaxed.
Durc had heard so much about him he felt he almost knew him already, but it was his eyes that made the tension leave his body. Looking into Jondalar's eyes, was much like looking into Brun's. They looked nothing alike of course, but the feeling was the same. Durc had seen a vast array of emotion in the eyes of the men he had met in his life. Fear, anger, disgust, revulsion, hatred, and more recently, wisdom, respect, caring, friendship and even awe. But only one man had ever looked at him with genuine love before and that was Brun. The man who had practically raised him, the man who had taught him, mentored him, and then set him free. Brun was like the mate of one's mother to Durc and looking at Jondalar now and then back to Ayla, he suddenly felt like he had come home. Gripping the other man's hands a little tighter, he smiled.
"Thank you," he said simply, because he knew it was true. He suddenly felt a hand on his arm and turned to look behind him. Latie grinned up at him and pranced excitedly on her toes. Instantly he felt terrible. She had been waiting impatiently to greet Ayla and Jondalar, trying to give him time with his mother and he had totally forgotten about her. He gave her an apologetic smile and pulled her out from behind him.
As soon as he saw her again Jondalar was grinning, but Ayla squealed. "Latie! It is so good to see you again! Look at you, all grown up and such a beautiful woman too!" she said wrapping her arms around her son's mate. Latie hugged her tightly back and then turned to Jondalar.
He wrapped his long arms around the slight woman and squeezed tight. "It's good to see you again, Latie," he said.
"You too Jondalar and I hate to cut this short, but we need to do something," she said turning to Durc. "Everyone is talking about what happened. I don't think the calm is going to hold much longer," she explained.
Durc nodded and looked at his mother once more before taking Latie's hand and moving back up the hill towards his people and the waiting horses. It was time.
As he mounted his horse he prayed silently to his totem and the Mother to give him the strength to face down the Zelandonii. Everything that had happened before now was in preparation for this moment. His travels, the people he had met along the way and the experience and wisdom he had gained were all to help him gain understanding. It was this group of people that was important. He didn't know why, but they were. He only hoped that he could live up to the Mother's expectations.
At his signal, the horses and his band of travelers moved the last few steps of their journey to come to stand before the Zelandonii. He waited quietly as the Council members grouped in the front of the crowd to see to the purpose of his unexpected appearance here. He addressed them before they had a chance to ask. It was more than a little shocking for them when he addressed them in their own language.
"My name is Durc. I am Ayla's son and like the Durc of Clan legend I was named for, I have left my home to follow the sun west, to a new place and a new life. I grew up with a Clan, the ones you call flatheads, just as Ayla did. I, too, am one you would all consider an abomination, an unholy mixture of spirits. A half-human, half-animal man unworthy of the Mother's love. But I am here to tell you that it was the Mother Herself that sent me here. It is Her message that I was born to deliver. It was She who guided me, with some help from my animal brothers and kept me safe when many times over I should have died.
"My mother was forced out of the Clan and out into the world on her own. In a supremely unselfish act, she left me behind. Not because she did not love me or because she was ashamed of me, but simply to allow me the chance at life. As much as I missed her as I grew up, I am truly grateful that she did so. By leaving me there, she gave me the chance to be a part of a family, a loving community and the opportunity to learn from some of the wisest people I have ever known.
"The skills and knowledge they have imparted to me have been invaluable on this long and treacherous journey. Their culture is different from yours, but still just as rich and complex. Their traditions are long standing, guiding their future as it created their past, but still they are as sacred as yours. Yes, they look different from you, but if you take the time to look you can see they are still recognizably human. It is your fear that keeps you ignorant of their ways, just as their fear of you keeps them ignorant of yours." He stopped and signaled the leader of the clan that was last to join them, beckoning him closer.
As he had spoken, he had signed, so the members of the Clan that traveled with him would understand as well. This message was not just for the Zelandonii. As the Clan man stood next to him, his shoulders squared with pride, Durc looked into the eyes of the Council and then moved his gaze over the crowd.
"How many of you have lived in hatred and fear of this man without ever having met him? How many of you have ever really known a person of the Clan? How can you stand in judgment of their humanity with out ever truly knowing the ones you stand in judgment of? I want you to look closely. Do you really see an animal here? He walks as upright as you, he has no fang or claw to hunt with, no fur to keep him warm. What exactly makes him an animal? His language? The fact that he speaks with his hands? Well, let me tell you something. On this journey, I met a man. One of the people that live not far on the other side of the glacier. He was born unable to speak. No one knows why, or what was wrong with him. He was one of your kind, but he used his hands to speak. Does that make him an animal? Is this your criterion for judgment against him? Or is it the fact that he looks different from you?
"What is so different? Does he not have two arms, two legs, five fingers, and five toes just as you do? Does he not have two eyes, two ears, a nose and mouth just as you have? Sure they may look different, but since when do even your people cast someone out because he doesn't look like everyone else?" he pointed to two different people in the crowd.
"You and you, step forward please." Out of the crowd two people stepped forward slowly. One was a woman, short, with dark hair and deep brown eyes. The other was a tall, blond haired, blue eyed man.
"These two look totally opposite of each other, can you tell me which one is human and which one is not?" he asked the crowd in general. He heard gasps of outrage and nodded his head.
"Yes, your anger at my statement is understandable. What I am trying to get you to understand is that the differences that you all point out and use against the Clan are just as insignificant as the ones between the two of your own that are standing here. The Clan are the Mother's children, just as you are. Her first children, and She loves them, just as she loves you. She cares for them and protects them, just as She does you. She has gifted them with sacred knowledge, just as She has you.
"They do not know Her as you do, revere Her as you do. Their totems guide their lives, but that is as the Mother wanted it. She has left the care and guidance of the Clan to the powerful spirit of Ursus, and the Great Cave Bear has followed Her instructions as bidden, for the animal spirits are Her children too. It always come back to the Mother doesn't it? How can you look another child of Hers in the eye and deny him the right to exist as She created him too? It is not for you to decide who is human and who is not. You all saw earlier what happens to those who presume to know the mind of the Mother.
"Make no mistake, what happened with Mikolan was the Mother's doing, not mine and not my mother's. In Her generosity, She granted Ayla and I a precious gift, a connection. A way to feel the love for each other that we could not express with such distance between us. It was that love that you saw. It was that love that killed Mikolan. The purest form of love is that that exists between a Mother and her child. The same love that Ayla feels for me and for her other son and daughter is the same love the Great Earth Mother feels for Her children, for all Her children. For your people and for the Clan. It was Her choice that She use this love to take the life of the man that would question Her right to love them fully, that would question their right to be loved by Her. She used love to refute the evil in his soul, to damn him to the Great Underworld and so you could see Her desire for the hatred and prejudice to be banished from your people and from the Clan.
"No longer does she want you to live in ignorance and fear, but to work together to become brothers in this life, before you return to Her and become brothers at Her breast once more. When I began my journey, I thought I was only seeking the mother I had lost as a child. Along the way the Mother of All set me on the path of my destiny." he slid off his horse as he spoke the last few words and held his arms out to indicate the group of people that had accompanied him.
"We are the example. We are what She expects of Her children. In the beginning, I was as confused as the ones that had been given visions and told to join me as I made my way across the vast steppes to join my mother here. I was nothing special. I was no legend to be in awe of. I was just a man, sometimes still just a boy. Scared and insecure. Afraid of what I felt was this great destiny that I could not understand.
"As we moved farther west, and more people joined my camp to travel with me, people of the Clan, people of the Others and then more mixed people like myself, I began to see. It was not me but more specifically what I was doing, what She was having her children do when they joined with me. By spreading the visions, by compelling these people to join with me and travel to your lands She was teaching them that it could be done. That it was possible to learn to live together, to work together, to become one people, one family.
"We are the proof that it is possible. That the Clan and the Others can leave the pain of hatred and prejudice behind if we choose to. If we care to take the time to learn about each other. They will never be the same, there will always be differences, but you can learn tolerance and respect. You can learn to live side by side and be friends." he said, by now speaking so softly that the gathering had to strain to hear him.
It was obvious he felt the truth of these words in his very soul, because thick emotion choked his words as he practically pleaded with them to understand. Many behind him, that had traveled with him and come to love him, had tears in their eyes, knowing as well as he did the truth he spoke. The Clan members nodded in agreement, lending their silent support of his supplications. Ayla and Jondalar looked on him in awe, watching as he finally found the words Ayla had searched for in vain. Tears were coursing down his mother's face as she watched the faces of the Zelandonii, her heart finally finding a glimmer of hope as she looked in their eyes. Her gaze returned to the face of her son as he sighed loudly and dropped his hands to his sides.
"That's it. It is that simple. She wants Her children to respect each other, to live in peace. To banish the hatred and the prejudice and accept each other for what you really are. For what you all really are. You are Her children. The Clan are Her children. And She loves you both."
When he finished speaking his voice was barely above a whisper. Even the Council members standing directly in front of him had to strain to hear him, but hear him they did. They looked silently around at each other, their eyes wide as his word sunk home. It was Adaila who let out a shaky sigh before speaking and her words were so quiet that had anyone even dared to breathe, they would have been lost in the sound.
"So be it." she whispered.
Ayla sat staring at Durc as he and Latie played with Thonolan and Kaliza. It was as if she could not quite convince her eyes that he was really here and therefore they refused to leave his face. For so many years she had ached for the sight of him, ached to feel him in her arms again and now here he was, sitting in front of her, playing with the babies. It almost seemed like a dream; one she was willing to never, ever wake from.
Now though, instead of the tiny son she had left behind, here sat a man. He was young yet, but still he was a man. It reflected in the way he interacted with the people around him, the way he held his body, the way he looked at his mate, and more, in the respect he was given by those that knew him. Her son was grown now, but as Jondalar had assured her, he did still need her. She could feel it in every look he gave her, every tentative touch from him. He needed her, maybe in a way that most his age would not still need their mothers. But she was glad for it. Too much time had been lost for them and she was grateful to now have a chance to be the mother he had missed for so long.
He had had Uba of course and as her sister had promised her spirit, she had taken him as her own and raised him with all the love Ayla could not give him herself. Durc would live with the loving memories of his adoptive mother just as Ayla lived with her own loving memories of Iza. She was more grateful than she could say to the sister she had left behind. In her heart, she thanked her silently for what she had done for her son. For their son.
She and Durc had stayed up long into the night, with him telling her stories about the Clan they had both known and loved. He told her about Uba and her life after Ayla had left. He told her of Brun and his determination to fulfill the promise he too had made to Ayla's spirit, despite Broud's best attempts to thwart him. He regaled her with stories of his life as he grew up, his manhood hunt, Broud's refusal of his pre-arranged mate, and about the dreams he had that told him the time was coming for him to leave his family behind. He told her of Brun's encouragement, of the man's certainty that Ayla still lived, and about his helping him to prepare for the long journey he somehow knew Durc would be facing.
"I found this in your old cave. Brun showed me where it was." Durc said as he pressed a soft scrap of leather into her hand. Ayla looked down and her eyes widened in amazement at what she was now holding. The small sling was old and still twisted from repeated use, but she would recognize it anywhere.
"You carried this with you the whole way here? she asked and he nodded. "But why?"
"Because it was the only thing of yours I had. It made me feel closer to you somehow. I wanted to be able to return it to you when I saw you again, so...so you would know who I was." he said, dropping his eyes. "I didn't know about the connection then." he finished his face slightly red.
She knew she was eventually going to have to get over this penchant for holding him, he was a grown man after all, but she could not help but put her arms around him and pull him close when she heard his quiet words. Latie watched in silence. Durc had never mentioned the sling to her and now she knew why. His fears were heartbreaking and achingly personal. How would she have expressed to him the fear that her own mother might not even know her?
"Durc, my heart would know you anywhere. You are my son," she told him, knowing then the pain he must have felt at her abandonment of him. She would be eternally grateful that he now truly understood why she had done so.
He nodded silently, taking a few moments to get his emotions under control before speaking again, "Brun told me as much. He told me when I found you, to tell you that he wishes you a happy life. That he did his best to fulfill the promise he made to your spirit," he told her quietly. Ayla felt tears burn the back of her eyes.
She smiled. "I never once doubted that he would," she said softly, her memories of the proud man flooding her mind. "I always knew you would be safe with Brun. That was the reason I asked him in the first place. I knew he was the only one that could protect you."
He had smiled a little at that, knowing she was right. Broud had never dared to truly cross Brun. The arrogant man had known in his heart that the Leader-before-him could and would take back control of the Clan if he had to and that the Clan would let him. Sure, he had made Durc's life as difficult as possible but had never deliberately, or at least openly, tried to harm him. Durc had understood then, as he did now, that it was Brun that had stood between him and the same fate Broud had dealt to his mother. Durc wondered absently if Brun still lead the Clan, now that Broud was gone, or if Brac had taken control.
The thought reminded him that he had yet to tell his mother that Broud now walked the spirit-world, or how Baby had been the one responsible for it. He proceeded to tell her, in quiet tones, how Broud's death came about.
She was certainly shocked, but other than that she felt nothing. Not remorse or sadness at his passing, nor vengeful joy at his grisly death. The man had lost the power to terrorize her long before now and his death stirred absolutely no emotion in her what-so-ever. She was not quite sure how to feel about that, but she shrugged it off for now.
They had spent the rest of the night catching up on each other's lives. He told her about the meeting the Mamutoi and here Latie joined in, laughing as she told Ayla about Durc's arrival.
"He scared my poor mother so badly she fainted," she said, still giggling, though the reason behind Nezzie's initial fear was not funny at all. The fact that Durc had reminded her so strongly of Rydag was actually heart wrenching. Still, the dramatic entrance Durc had made into the lives of the Mammoth Hunters was amusing to tell.
They all chatted long after Jondalar had given up waiting for Ayla to come to bed. He had smiled indulgently and promised to keep the furs warm. Ayla, however, put off going to bed as long as possible, knowing that Durc would leave here and to go to his own camp. The thought of her son walking out of that flap terrified her. She knew her fears were irrational, but she could not help but think that if she let him out of her sight, she might never see him again. Durc seemed more than willing to stay as well. It took Latie pulling him to a standing position by his arm and demanding her furs with a loud yawn to get him moving. Ayla had laughed and told him to go, stubbornly refusing to let her fears get the best of her.
Now she watched as he and Latie sat playing with the twins and talking quietly with Jondalar. She could join in any time, but she was content to just stare at her son. He was so incredible and she was so proud. Listening to him yesterday, she had felt so much maternal pride her heart had nearly burst. His words had been so true, so moving and to finally hear Adaila and the Council concede to what she had been trying to tell them since her arrival, was almost more than she could take. The old woman's quiet concession had taken her breath and she had thrown herself into Jondalar's arms in unrestrained joy. Finally they had listened. Finally they understood.
While it was still new to most of them, the rest of the Zelandonii people seemed to accept the decision gracefully as well. Most were actually glad the animosity was now over. There were still a few that bitterly refused to accept the "animals" as humans, let alone friends, but Durc's heartfelt words had swayed more than Ayla could ever have hoped to reach. His soulful preaching seemed to have convinced many that had never bothered to listen to Ayla. She didn't know why, but she was grateful.
The gathering had scattered quickly after that and the Summer Meeting grounds were abnormally quiet for the rest of the day. After hastily removing Mikolan's body, Adaila had offered Durc and his camp reasonable lodging near the rest of the caves, trying hard to stand by her word, but everyone seemed lost as to what to do after that. Durc and his Cave had settled in, ignoring the curious stares and the occasional sarcastic, hurtful remarks. He knew the adjustment would take time and he had made more than enough headway for one day. He would let it be for now. His Cave worked tirelessly to make a temporary home, doing their best to pay no attention to the Zelandonii that walked by with slow deliberate steps, trying to unobtrusively get a glimpse of the Clan men and women that worked side-by-side with the rest of Durc's people.
For the most part, the men and women of the Clan took it well in stride. They understood from traveling with Durc that these Others were not trying to be rude with their stares, but more that they had never seen their people close-up. That's not to say that it didn't make them a bit nervous, especially the women, but they remembered too their first time seeing a man or woman of the Others and forgave easily enough. While they had known of them for generations, many of the Clan members first encounter with a person of the Others was when they had joined Durc's journey. With the last clan that had joined him being the exception.
Their previous experiences with the Others had not been pleasant, thanks to Mikolan, but Ayla's visit had done more than she knew to calm them. Meeting her was the main reason that Grun had given into his Mog-ur's demands that they heed the visions he had received. Grun had almost refused to join Durc's Clan for the final leg of the journey. He was now very glad that he had not.
Friendship between his people and the Others was still a new concept for him, but it was one he could immediately see the benefits of. He knew their traditions were different and while he didn't exactly approve of their lifestyle, he remembered Ayla's assurance that they had good reasons for doing things the way they did them. Maybe it was not asking to much to listen and learn what he could from them. As long as the women of his Clan did not let these women's freedom go to their heads, he thought all might just work out. He would at least try.
Others in his Clan were more reticent, if only because they had never encountered this many people together in one place. They understood that this was a gathering like their Clan Gatherings, but they could not help but be intimidated by all the noise. They were now accustomed to hearing verbal speech, thanks to Durc and his companions, but never had it reached this volume. And this was a quiet day.
Once the work was done, many of them sat in camp, terrified to move outside the boundaries that had been claimed as their own. Darvalo did a final check of things, giving Durc the time with his Mother he so desperately needed. He had not even gotten a chance to see or greet Jondalar yet, he didn't think the Zelandonii man even knew he was here. That was fine with Darvalo, he knew he would have plenty of time for that later. Durc needed this time with the mother he had lost so long ago. Now though, he wanted to get out of the camp and meet some people. They had been traveling for what seemed like forever now and those long, cold nights got lonely.
He tried coaxing some of the other members of their group to join him, but most refused. The Clan members were too scared of the noise and stares they were receiving, some just short of hostile, Crun and his friends seemed to feel the same, and most of the others of his own kind just wanted to rest. He did manage to convince a few of the men that had joined the journey recently to come with him though and he excitedly headed out of the camp to explore.
It didn't take long for the strangers to attract the Zelandonii's attention and while some of the them were rather rude, most seemed interested in finding out how he had come to be with Durc and the Clan. He told them willingly enough and answered whatever questions they had. Many seemed impressed that he had come so far, especially the women. Needless to say, Darvalo enjoyed his evening immensely but the two other men from his camp found the outing a little more difficult because of the language barriers. Darvalo had learned to speak Zelandonii from what he remembered Jondalar teaching him when the blond man had lived with he and his mother, Serenio, and then again from Durc, who had learned from Latie and the Lion Camp, who had been taught by both Ayla and Jondalar.
Durc had easily managed to communicate with all the different people that had joined his journey, but his incredible aptitude for languages helped a great deal with that. It had gotten a little confusing for the others in the camp towards the end, with all the different languages being spoken, but they had managed. There were a total of twelve different languages in their camp so far, counting the Clan's sign language, and Durc could speak fluently in almost all of them. And while he had learned everyone else's language, none of the new comers had had time to learn Zelandonii just yet.
S'Adrabon and Rumen both eventually gave up and went back to camp, leaving Darvalo to the group of women that surrounded him. Neither of them could speak much Zelandonii, they couldn't even speak with each other fluently. Adrabon spoke only S'Armunai and Rumen only Hadumai. They had made fast friends with each other on the journey using a combination of vocal language, clan signs and basic gestures to communicate, but the Zelandonii ways were strange to them and their language too complex to learn quickly. They grinned indulgently at Darvalo as they waved their goodbyes and he waved back distractedly while carrying on a conversation with a small blond woman who just happened to be stunning as well.
Darvalo hadn't had this much fun in a long time. His people never had meetings like this, well at least not any that his cave had been to. He had never seen so many people in one place, especially so many women. It had been a long time for Durc's second and the absence of a willing woman had been hard on him. Other than Latie, Darvalo had not been around many women since he had joined them on their journey. While he held no prejudice against the Clan women, he didn't find them attractive and even if he had, he doubted that the Clan men would have been willing to share. As it was, the few Clan women that had come along were serving two or three Clan men apiece. No matter how lonely he was, that thought just didn't appeal to him.
Now however, with Durc and his followers being the sole focus of attention, he had found himself in the midst of a Summer Meeting full of curious Zelandonii women. Women more that willing to explore the differences between this exotic man and all the too-familiar Zelandonii men they had grown up with. There was no way that Darvalo would find himself alone tonight, well, barring any interruptions that is.
Even as this thought crossed his mind, just such an interruption came walking by. The big blond man that almost became his mother's mate strolled through the center of the meeting grounds, being followed by the normal gaggle of girls. Only this time they were more interested in his connection to the strange group of new-comers that had just arrived, than in he himself. The two groups of girls, the one surrounding Jondalar and the one around Darvalo, spotted each other just about the same time and keeping the men in the middle, each quickly made their way towards the other.
"Oh Jondalar! This is Darvalo...." one of the girls started,
"Darvalo?" Jondalar asked looking up from his conversation. He spied the young man just as Darvalo heard his name.
"Jondalar! It's so good to see you again!" Darvalo said, fighting his way through the girls to reach the other man. Jondalar grinned.
"I didn't know you had come too! It is so good to see you!" Jondalar said, as Darvalo came up to him. The men grabbed each other in a bear hug, with Jondalar thumping Darvalo's back fondly.
Jondalar was ecstatic to see him. If things had been different, this man probably would have been the very first child of his hearth. In his heart, he was. If Thonolan hadn't lost Jetamio, he might never have met Ayla, choosing instead to stay with his brother and the Sharamudoi and mate Serenio. He had been sure he would never see him again when he and Ayla had left the Sharamudoi's Cave on their journey back to the Zelandonii. To see him here was a pleasant surprise to say the least. Why had no one told him he had traveled here with Durc?
"Well, Durc and Latie showed up at our Cave just in time to save our people a whole lot of trouble. By the time they were ready to leave, he had cleared up a few misunderstandings between our people and the Clan and our cave was well on its way to starting solid, friendly trade relations with them. I decided to join them when they told us where they were heading." Darvalo explained.
"Dolando started trade with the Clan?" Jondalar asked, incredulous.
Darvalo laughed at the look on his face, knowing which aspect of Dolando's personality he was remembering. "Well, it was a near thing, but thanks to Durc, we came out of it with new friends instead of mortal enemies," he said cryptically.
Jondalar raised his brow at the man but figured he would get the details later. "Yeah, he seems to be doing a lot of that lately." he said in good humor. Darvalo laughed again. The women around them had fallen silent for a moment, completely forgotten by both of the handsome men.
"Well, have you seen your mother since the last time I saw you?" Jondalar asked, his curiosity about her condition when he left the first time still alive and burning. Darvalo nodded,
"Yeah, she came for a visit. She and her new mate were so excited. She had just found out she had been blessed again, for the first time since I was born." he said casually, completely missing the look on Jondalar's face.
"Really?" he asked in a slightly strangled voice. Had Serenio been wrong about that when he left? Darvalo answered the question for him, though he was sure he hadn't spoken it aloud.
"Yeah, you know she thought she might be pregnant when you left the first time, but it turned out she wasn't. She was really disappointed then, but this time she is sure. She was so happy the last time I saw her. I imagine she has had the baby by now. I wonder what she had? I doubt I will ever see my mother again or ever see my new brother or sister," he said, the last bit added a little wistfully. But Darvalo had known when he left that he would likely never return. His mother had made a new life for herself, he knew she was happy and safe. He was content to remember her that way forever.
Jondalar lost himself in his memories, staring at the young man who, as a child, had been so close to him. He was fighting his own inner struggle at Darvalo's words. He couldn't be sure if he was happy or saddened that Serenio had not been pregnant, possibly with a child of his spirit, when he had left. In a way he was happy. It was good to know that there was not a child whose life he might be missing. He had found no greater pleasure in this world than to watch Kaliza and Thonolan as they grew. Being there as they learned each new thing, being able to see himself in their beautiful little faces. He was grateful he would not be missing that with another child that may or may not be "his" as Ayla put it.
Yet he was slightly disappointed as well. He had almost found it comforting to think he may have left a piece of his spirit with the woman he had tried so hard to love, and who had loved him regardless of the fact that he was unable to completely return her feelings. Serenio had deserved so much more than he had been able to give her. He had hoped that a child of his spirit would give her something of himself that could love her whole-heartedly and unconditionally, where he had not been able to.
"...is Ayla? I know she had twins, Durc told me. How are they? Are you glad to be home?" Darvalo was saying and Jondalar realized he had been paying no attention to him. He laughed though, as he continued to question him, never giving him a chance to answer.
He put his hand on the younger man's shoulder, guiding him through the crowd as he attempted to answer the list of questions and catch Darvalo up on what had been happening in his life. They walked away, completely wrapped up in their conversation and in getting to know each other once again. Neither man saw the looks of shock and disappointment on the faces of the women they had left standing there without so much as a word of goodbye.