A/N: A long time ago, somewhere near the beginning of the Black Rider Chronicles I researched a fighting style for Anayah that would suite her stature – that is, something that a smaller fighter could own … an equalizer, so-to-speak. I chose the Philippine art of Kali, a martial art, used by both males and females with deadly results, that was ancient before Magellan made his fateful stop in the Philippines and was killed by a native hero named Lapu Lapu.
It bears mentioning here because I have recently found reference to Kali being used in several Hollywood movies and while most Kali Masters, don't particularly respect the Hollywood version of the art, it does deserve some merit for its fluid style, speed and effectiveness under most circumstances.
To validate this fighting style as a serious martial art, I might mention that in its true form it is used by Force-Recon Marines in the Philippines, by the Philippine National Police and also by the Army Special Forces and the Navy Seals.
Many of the weapons that Anayah uses are based on actual Kali weapons.
Movies using Kali: The Bourne Supremacy; The Bourne Identity; Chronicles of Riddick; Matrix: Reloaded; Blade II; Scorpion King; Under Siege and Rambo III (To name a few.)
It's been said by those who ponder
That it surely is a sign
That a life touched by the stars
Is now running out of time.
Overture
Beethoven's Last Night.
Chapter 38
A Bad Day – Part 2
She was loathe to open her eyes and leave behind the world of the garden and the stars, but refusing to step back into Arda's light only postponed the inevitable and such an act of avoidance wouldn't get the living done. And so, with a final sigh she opened her eyes, pushed herself away from the dragon's great head then continued in that direction until the backs of her knees came in contact with a flat rock. Seating herself, she then spent several moments quietly contemplating her hands and thinking about what she had just experienced.
"Anayah? You are well?" Asgorath said after a few moments when it appeared she wasn't going to start the conversation.
When he gently nudged her with his muzzle, she finally looked up and smiled.
"I am better than just 'well,' my Lord." She said. "What I have just seen and experienced on my short journey will take much thinking about to understand if understanding comes at all, but I am an immortal, and have all the time I need to do exactly that."
The two dragons and Anayah turned as Sauros returned to the infirmary nest he had been occupying since Asgorath and the rescuers had returned from Carn-Dûm.
"Lord Sauros." Both Asgorath and Anayah greeted the dragon then Anayah settled him in his nest, fussing over him and making sure that he had taken no additional injury on his little walk. Sauros just looked at her and smiled indulgently.
Anayah faced the three dragons.
"I must leave you now for my duties require me to go to the horse pasture and start picking out horses for the journey to Annúminas. Be well … and Lord Asgorath?"
Asgorath looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Yes, my Lady?"
"I will be back later to give you your medicine."
Asgorath rolled his eyes even as he nodded his head, acknowledging that he would accept his fate in whatever foul tasting form it was presented to him in and regardless of whether the particular form fate chose for him made him gag or not. With a final smile and after kissing all three dragons on their muzzles, Anayah turned and walked away. Sauros sighed as he gazed at the retreating she-elf.
"I may never wash my muzzle again."
"Sauros!" Lady Ederyn chided, with a smile, which quickly faded to a look of dragon-worry and it was a moment before she spoke again. "I wish to address my concerns regarding the state of affairs between Anayah and Prince Ereb."
She laid her head on her front feet and looked away from the other two dragons.
"To be so tormented as is our Anayah by the middle Avari princeling is truly a shame, especially considering that under any other circumstances our young she-elf would have given his bad attitude right back to him on the toe of one of her boots. I wish that the standards of conduct for a champion were otherwise so she could resolve this particular situation to her own satisfaction. Unfortunately, reality dictates that we have what we have, as Anayah would put it, and to have regrets for what cannot be, would be counterproductive and a waste of time and energies better spent elsewhere.
I will tell you both this one thing, though." She looked seriously at the other two dragons. "If Anayah were to find an opportunity to bring that arrogant young elf down, right here at my feet, I would find something interesting to look at in the opposite direction of the conflict."
"My Lady!" Both males said in unison, their eyes wide in mock-amazement.
Asgorath looked at Ederyn, sensing a deeper concern in his mate's heart on another matter entirely.
"Something else troubles you, Ederyn?"
Ederyn sighed … again.
"Yes, my Lord, it indeed troubles me greatly that Anayah is having nightmares – and both you and Sauros know of what the dream speaks. We could truly giver her wise counsel and even comfort or encouragement if she only had enough confidence in us to talk about the dream, this portent. Her distress was so great last night that it woke me from my slumbers and if her Captain had not gone to her when he did then I would have woken her Grandmother." She looked at her mate sadly. "Asgorath, this thing will haunt her to the very end – you know that it will. It will slowly and methodically eat away at her spirit until there is nothing left inside that child's heart to give to herself, or others."
The dragon/Lord nodded.
"She is tormented by many things and it is only her strength of character that sustains her from the hurt and sorrow of it. Perhaps we should bring this situation to the attention of her father?"
"No!" Was Ederyn's short reply. "We cannot let Lord Elrond know of this situation any more than we can go to Anayah and let her know that we are aware she is having this nightmare. You do understand this, do you not?"
"Aye, my love, I understand. She must willingly come to us for counsel, we cannot offer our aid. My heart is heavy, Ederyn, but that is the way of things – she must come to us."
Ederyn sighed.
"If we only had more time."
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As she ran by the healing tent, Anayah waved to Brennus who smiled and waved back. She was fast gaining a great respect for the youngest Avari prince for she had yet to catch him playing the entitled regal being as his brother, Prince Ereb was doing. Prince Brennus had spent the majority of his time since arriving in Imladris in the healing tent, seeing to the needs and comforts of those wounded in the battle with Orcs and Uruk Hai of some days before. It was her opinion that Prince Brennus would truly have made a great king and leader of his people if times had been different and there had been a kingdom for the youngest Avari Prince to rule. And even considering the present circumstances, if he never got to do nothing other than act as aid to Banion if he became king, he would truly be his brother's righteous right hand.
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Anayah knew she was passed her own deadline for arriving at the horse pasture, and even before reaching the area, had prepared an appropriate apology to those who should have been waiting there. When she arrived, she stopped still.
"Oh." Was all she said as she looked around her … at nothing.
Taking into consideration that she, herself, had been tardy in arriving at the pasture, she decided to wait a bit before getting upset at everyone's no-show. Sitting on a rock with her chin in her hand, she watched the horses, looked at the clouds, mentally began separating the horses that looked fit from the others who looked a little grass fat, and after a suitable amount of time … sighed. Some time was spent again counting the horses in the pasture in front of her … followed by another long sigh. She looked in the direction of the house, hoping to hear the approach of horses or the voices of the Guards – Rahan's deep bass or Súrion's musical laughter and was sorely disappointed when she saw nothing and heard only silence … she sighed again.
She was once more studying the horses in front of her, again mentally separating the horses she liked from the ones she felt would be incapable of keeping the demanding pace the journey would require when she felt a warm exhalation of breath on the back of her neck. Jumping to her feet and spinning left, she came face to face with Shadowfax, with Elias standing behind him with the same twinkle in his eyes, as was in the eyes of his Lord. With one hand over her wildly beating heart, she backed up two steps while in front of her, she could swear both stallions were doing their very best not to laugh outright.
You have work that needs to be done? Shadowfax looked at her with his ears flicking back and forth. The others are not here, but we would be willing to help where we can. I believe that the Lord of all Horses and his brother, the Prince, would be good judges of the qualities of these brothers and sisters we see before us.
She kissed the two stallions on their noses then once more looked at the pasture with all the Imladris horses in it, eating, sleeping flat out on the ground or just standing slip-shod, dreaming whatever horses of leisure dream about.
"It disturbs me that the others have not come as they were requested to do, for this task would have been so much more simple if there were ten beings doing it instead of just the three of us."
Opening the gate, Anayah motioned the stallions inside and after he had entered the pasture, Shadowfax paused and turned to her once more.
Before you think too badly of the others for what you consider to be insubordinate behavior, make sure you fairly weigh all the facts.
"You have sensed something, my Lord?"
All I sense is that a great misunderstanding has occurred. Don't let your anger and hurt blind you to what is really happening.
She looked fondly at Shadowfax and Elias.
"I am truly wounded that the others would not come to help as I asked them to especially considering this day has been planned for since we came back from Carn-Dûm, but I could not have received more able companions and workmates than the two of you nor wiser counsel. Hannon-le, my Lords." She smiled when Shadowfax seemed to nod in acknowledgement of the courtesy.
Elias nuzzled her neck as he walked past her and through the gate into the pasture.
My heart is always yours, my Lady.
Her breath hitched as she tried to speak and she spent a moment looking at the pasture, gathering her composure, before turning back to the stallions and the work that needed to be done.
"We need horses with steady nerves, and absolutely no mares in season or about to come in season – that requirement is not up for debate, no matter how good the horse is, because we don't want our stallions to be distracted or to become quarrelsome. The horses we do choose must be sure on their feet and able to cut to either side quickly and without thought with only slight cues from the riders. While I am sure that some of these horses are already skilled in these matters, either naturally or through training from their riders, some are not and will need to be schooled. I don't want horses that have been too long in the pasture because we only have a short time to get them fit so if their conditioning is already good then that is one less task we will have to contend with.
Let's start by moving them around a bit then have them cut right, then left, then after that we will cut out any heavy breathers. We will ignore these horses for the moment but won't rule them out entirely because if we can't get what we want from the second cut, we will go to the herd for more. Does that sound fine to the two of you?"
The two stallions nodded their heads up and down then turned and ran for the herd. The next two hours were physically taxing – for Anayah. She would later say that both Shadowfax and Elias probably did themselves an injury laughing at her because she spent so much time on her hind end and on her back from slipping in the "doo" of the pasture. It wasn't bad enough that she had horse manure in more places than she thought she had places, but to add grief to misery, the ankle she had sprained while coming down the stairs the day before was getting more and more unstable and when she fell the final time, she just lay there on her back, looking up at the sky while trying to catch her breath.
She heard footsteps and when she moved her head slightly, saw that the Avari Guards as well as her own had finally arrived. When Rahan moved to her side to help her up, she just brushed his hands away then got up by herself, wincing as she inadvertently put too much weight on her bad ankle. Without speaking to anyone, she gave two short whistles to let the stallions know that the work was done for the day and after they had come to her and she had kissed them both on their muzzles as a thank you, she opened the gate then sent them to the stables to be groomed and fed. As Shadowfax passed the others, he turned his head slightly and the others were a bit unnerved to see his eyes flash a faint red – or so it seemed – sometimes guilty minds played tricks on guilty-feeling elves. Either way, it was truly disturbing to think that the Lord of all horses, was annoyed with them.
None of the Guards nor Banion had spoken since arriving at the horse pasture but as she limped out the gate, Anayah paused to speak to Rahan.
"If I had any sense at all, Captain, I would make the four of you walk to Annúminas. Make no mistake … there will be consequences for your no-show, but not until I am less angry and have a little less horse crap on my favorite boots. You are relieved of duty for the remainder of this day."
Saying nothing further and not waiting for an answer from the elf, she limped away. Banion finally called out to her but she ignored him and continued walking toward the house.
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After the dejected Guards had left, Banion was leaning against the gate, watching the horses in the second pasture. Erenol joined him and spent an equal amount of time admiring the horses.
"She and those two stallions picked out some good horses."
Banion turned to Erenol.
"They did, indeed, Erenol." He motioned towards the second pasture. "I particularly like that bay mare with the white blaze – she moves well."
Erenol looked at his Charge, frowning.
"You are troubled by all this?"
Banion nodded without looking at his Captain.
"Yes, I am. Anayah is showing a complete lack of caring for what her Guards went through in her name and in fact, seems to be punishing them for it – why else would she have worked the horses by herself? Yes, I am troubled." He paused. "Yet there seems to be more to all this, an underlying reason, almost like neither Rahan and his elves nor Anayah quite understands what is motivating the actions of each other – like they are out of step. Do you think I am seeing this situation wrongly?"
"No, Banion, I don't think you are, although to that end I would like to know what you think we should do?"
The Avari Prince sighed then finally turned to face his Captain.
"I think I know what is going on. More than likely, Rahan is guilty of omission – he has never taught Anayah what happens when a Thurin Tirith commits themselves to the rage so when she saw it, it frightened her and she didn't know what she was supposed to do – during or after."
"I agree with you, Banion. And since Rahan rarely makes a mistake, this one has got to hurt. So again … what do you think we should do?"
Banion looked at Erenol and after a moment smiled.
"I know that tone, my Captain. You want to meddle and while under most circumstances that might help, this is a Thurin Tirith matter so I will go with my instincts and say that we should leave things alone and let Anayah and her Guards work things out among themselves. That girl is a sweet lady but since I first met her, I've found that when she's hurting emotionally she tends to push everyone away and in that regard, our assistance might not be welcomed. Just leave it alone … I'll watch things closely and make sure things don't go too far."
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Anayah managed to make it to the house without running in to anybody that would inquire about how she came to have such an alluring odor about her or why she was limping although more than one elf on the opposite side of the Common Room began searching the area around them for something that had died. Blushing with embarrassment, she continued on towards her room wanting nothing more than to take a hot bath, change into clean clothes then sit on her balcony with her feet up, a soothing cup of tea in her hands and think about what had happened to her since she had gotten up this morning. Her uninterrupted trip to her bedroom … and bath … was not going to remain uninterrupted … such was what happened to someone who was having a very bad day.
"Anayah?"
She cringed then slowly turned to face her father.
"Ada!" She did her best to sound cheerful but the look on her father's face told her that he was one father who could not be fooled by a smile that was not really meant.
"Anayah, please join me in the healing wing." He turned and walked away with Anayah following him as best she could.
When the two reached their destination, Elrond motioned to the nearest bed and Anayah seated herself while her father assembled the disinfectant wash, ointments and bandages that he would need to treat her ankle.
"I must ask you if this unique bouquet I detect wafting about you is perhaps a new bath fragrance? I must say that it is certainly interesting – perhaps you might share the recipe with me?"
Red-faced, Anayah looked at her father and was about to reply when she saw the twinkle in his eye and the smile he was not very successful at hiding.
"Sorry, Ada. I was hoping to bathe before I saw anybody."
Elrond patted her knee.
"Lady Ederyn spoke to me and told me what had occurred and also mentioned that your sprained ankle needed to be tended."
He interrupted Anayah as she was about to speak.
"The Lady was just concerned, daughter. She is quite fond of you and it disturbs her to see you so distraught. Would you like to tell me what happened?"
With a look of distaste Elrond removed Anayah's boot and after using two fingers to set the soiled thing to the side of the bed, began to gently clean and rewrap her ankle.
"None of the Guards showed up to help even though I told them to be there in one hour. They missed the appointed time, and did not even bother to send a message explaining why they weren't there, so Shadowfax, Elias and I made the first cut of the horses – without any help from the Guards. As far as my delightful odor and the abused ankle … it was used and abused in the act of separating and working the horses."
He nodded but remained silent as he gathered his thoughts. Finally, he spoke. "I see – you couldn't find another horse to ride – even at the horse pasture? Daughter, I must point out that there was no need for you to work the horses by yourself or on foot, as Imladris is at this time, full of able-bodied elves who would have been more than willing to assist you and may have even enjoyed a little non-orc related exercise. Perhaps you did this thing, suffering hurt and more than a little … dirtying … to punish your Guards? Maybe you thought that if they saw what you had suffered, they would feel extra remorse for not being there as you had asked them to be?"
"But they could have at least sent word that they were going to be late – they know we are on a timetable."
"Yes, they do, Anayah. However, you seem to forget what they had gone through earlier – the blood rage that they had committed themselves to, and in your name I might remind you. I cannot educate you about what they go through emotionally, but as a healer, I can tell you about the physical part and I believe that this is something you need to know and understand.
Adrenaline floods into the blood, the heart thunders forcefully at more than twice its normal rate, pigmentation changes in the eyes, all five senses become heightened and muscle tissue stretches suddenly and painfully as it is pumped full of oxygen and adrenaline. When it is over, all these changes reverse themselves – all at once. The whole procedure is quite painful, and emotionally traumatic so it was indeed fortunate that Prince Banion's Thurin Tirith were there to ease their return."
Elrond knew the instant the words were out of his mouth that he could have said things differently – could have sounded less harsh and less like Anayah's Guards would have suffered irreparable damage because of her neglect if Prince Banion's Guards had not been there. He had not had such a wonderful day himself although as Lord of Imladris, or as a father, having a bad day did not excuse his lack of tact – he was the elder elf, after all.
"Anayah … I'm …"
Anayah didn't let him continue. With tear-filled eyes, she got down off the bed and without another word, picked up her boot and without taking the time to put it on, turned and limped out of the room. Behind her, Elrond sat on the bed and began kneading his temples.
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By the time Bansil reached Anayah's room he still had no idea of what he was going to say, only that he was going to try to heal a breach that should have never happened in the first place. He knocked lightly, almost tentatively, with part of him hoping that there would be no answer and when he heard the soft invitation to come in his heart skipped a beat.
He chided himself for his timidity and knew that he would probably receive a reprimand from his Charge as well as his Captain for what he was about to do. But in the past 30 minutes, every time he had almost talked himself out of doing what he felt was right, a vision would appear in his mind of a certain young she-elf standing on a rock in a cave so she would be tall enough to look him in the eyes while she tried to talk to him and soothe the guilt and turmoil he was suffering at having got his Captain as well as her injured. It was of no import that it had not been his fault. What was important was that she had not given up on him … just as he would not give up on her.
He marveled at the change in himself since he and the others had met her. That he should no longer think of her as an undisciplined elfling was a mindset he never thought he would change. An undisciplined elfling she was not – definitely was not. What she was, was a young elf who wore her emotions and heart on her sleeve, something that often resulted in hurt feelings.
He almost felt like a brother who was going to his little sister to encourage her through a trying time, a time when she needed someone to talk to who understood her emotional turmoil and who wouldn't judge her but would help her figure things out. He shook his head. Bonding with the Charge of another Unit was an inconceivable concept … although he couldn't think of a compelling argument for why he couldn't be her friend.
He was so deep inside his own thoughts that it took a moment for him to realize that the door was open and Anayah was standing there looking at him.
"Your thoughts are almost loud enough for me to hear, my friend." She smiled as she took his arm and led him into the room then sat him in a chair at the table serving him a cup of tea from the teapot sitting in the center.
"How did you know that I needed someone to talk to?"
"I got this overpowering sense of sadness from you, Anayah, which has apparently grown stronger since I last saw you at the horse pasture. It is my sincerest hope that there might be something I can do to help you feel better."
"You make me feel better just by knocking on my door, Bansil."
"You and I both have to follow protocol as far as explanations and apologies, but what I can do is listen to your thoughts on what started all this and maybe between the two of us we can find a way to make all this more understandable – at least that."
When he saw her eyes fill with tears, he moved his chair closer and took her hand in silent support.
"My father suggested that in my ire at all of you not showing up at the horse pasture that I hadn't considered what my Guards had gone through physically and he hinted at a lack of understanding on an emotional level as well. He also asked me if my working the horse herd alone might have been done to punish my Guards by making them feel more guilty. His words were harsh and hurtful although I have to admit that they probably hit pretty close to the mark and unfortunately, as much as I hate to admit it, were probably pretty much deserved."
Bansil was silent a moment as he gathered his thoughts.
"Anayah, it is not my right nor would I be so presumptuous to nay-say your father, but I can ask what you thought and what you felt when you first saw your Guards after they committed themselves to the blood rage?"
When she looked at him, the tragedy in her eyes almost broke his heart.
"I can't remember ever being that frightened before, Bansil. For the first time since we have been together, I was afraid of them … and for them … and all I could think of at the time was that I was going to lose them when another Avari came to Ereb's aid and shot my Guards dead."
Bansil shook his head.
"Not to worry on that one, Anayah, the Avaris, like the elves of the other three realms, know better than to interfere with Thurin Tirith that have committed themselves to the blood rage – remember that it has always been stressed that the Thurin Tirith can not be judged by either the laws of elves or men at this time. While Rahan and his elves may have dealt harshly with anyone who tried to interfere with what they were doing, your Guards would never have harmed you and I'm sure that your heart knew this even if your instincts did not."
He looked into her eyes to make sure she could see his sincerity.
"You did something that has never been done before – at least that I know of – you stopped them from carrying out their Right of Retribution. That act alone proves the depth of your love for them – that you would attempt such a thing – as well as the depth of their love for you – that they would abandon their task because you wanted them to."
He took a sip of tea before he continued.
"Banion and the four of us were talking about this situation and are of the opinion that you have never been taught what happens during and after so when it happened, you didn't know what to do. Am I correct in this assumption?"
A tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away almost angrily.
"It is embarrassing to admit, but no, I didn't know what to do, and yes, it was a good thing that Banion and the four of you were there, Bansil, because if you had not been I could have hurt them severely. How can I beg their forgiveness for being both cruel and childish – how can I make this up to them?"
He smiled softly at her.
"Why don't you start by talking to your Captain?"
He nodded toward the open door and when Anayah turned to look, saw Rahan standing there with such a look of sadness on his face that she could barely stand it. Erenol stood behind him with a hand on his shoulder in support.
Anayah dropped her eyes.
"No. No. No. You never have to drop your eyes around me, Anayah. Nothing is so bad that we cannot look at each other when we talk." Rahan said as he entered the room.
Bansil quickly rose and allowed Rahan to take his place at the table. The Avari Guard then quietly left the room, closing the door softly behind him. He and Erenol turned to go back to their own quarters but stopped suddenly when they almost collided with Banion who was leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed and an unreadable expression on his face. The two Guards blushed and shifted their feet nervously, feeling like elflings caught doing something they weren't supposed to.
"Ada thinks his elflings have been very, very naughty. I thought I told you to leave things be for the moment?"
He let both Erenol and Bansil try to speak but when it appeared that neither of them could get a complete sentence out of their mouths, he held up his hand. Regarding them silently for a few moments, he then sighed deeply, and just about the time his own Captain was going to ask him why he was outside Anayah's room, the Prince spoke.
"Well, did it work?"
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Her uncertainties and hurt feelings – indeed, the entire bad day – caught up with her and she began to cry, at which time Rahan wrapped his arms around her and just held her until she had cried herself out and there was nothing left but hiccups. Then after she had taken a few sips of tea, even they were gone.
"Rahan, I am sorry for being so neglectful of you and your elves after the incident earlier. Truthfully, for a time I was afraid of you as well as for you and when it was over, I didn't have a clue as to what I was supposed to do and I am doubly ashamed that my actions since then have not honored your sacrifice. My father pointed out to me just what you go through physically and he suggested that I had worked the horse herd by myself just to punish the four of you and also said that it was a good thing Banion and his Guards had been there to take care of you."
"Your father said this to you?" There was a bit of a spark in Rahan's eyes.
Anayah looked sharply at her Captain.
"He was just pointing out my mistakes, Rahan, and you know I cannot improve myself if I don't know that I am doing something wrong! Besides, I think you have to admit that there was just cause for his assumptions."
Rahan leaned over and kissed her temple.
"Anayah, you are just having a bad day and I think it was keeping you from seeing things as clearly as you normally would. You are a naturally compassionate elf and wouldn't have hurt us on purpose."
He served them both another cup of tea.
"Erenol told me that I had made a mistake by not teaching you about the blood rage long ago and since I take great pride in always being perfect …"
Anayah lightly slapped his arm and he chuckled.
"Erenol was right when he said the fact I had made such a grievous error must be eating at my heart. He was right – I had never taught you anything about that part of our lives and that is what started this thing off – you didn't know what to expect or do, and you can't be faulted for that. However, this is a good indication that I must include lore and traditions in my teachings – the unspoken things that can't be found in any book of lore.
As far as working the horse herd by yourself … well … we should have at least sent word that we would be late in arriving. To that end, we will gladly accept any disciplinary action you wish to mete out … and by the way, I don't think you worked the herd just to punish us but because you were angry and forgot that you could have asked anyone here for help. This is a skill you may want to work on and my elves and I will help any way we can for you to accomplish this.
I don't think any of this would have happened if you had just understood what was happening, and for that I apologize to you.
"Then you forgive me for being cruel and childish?"
Rahan sighed.
"Sometimes we forget just how young you really are, Anayah. You were lacking information necessary to help you handle this situation appropriately – not your fault. Pulling my hair … now that was childish!"
"I couldn't think of any other way to stop you – you are very large and I am very small."
For a few moments they both laughed at the memory of Anayah trying to stop her Captain's forward progress, then Rahan once more grew serious.
"Anayah, you never have to be afraid of us. We would gladly kneel at your feet and pull a dagger across our own throats before we would hurt you – on that you have my most solemn vow."
Looking deeply into her Captain's eyes Anayah saw only truth in their depths, then nodded her head in satisfaction.
"May that vow never be tested, my Captain. I do have one question for you though. Why does it seem easier for one Guard to abandon the blood rage but when all of you are involved it is an extremely difficult and painful task?"
"One is just one but when all four of us are involved, we are a unit and the rage is four times as powerful and lethal. To abandon our task is also four times as hard – for each of us. Did I confuse you further?"
She shook her head.
"Actually, you did not – I understand. However, I will look forward to learning more about some of these customs of yours. The Thurin Tirith Order is fascinating and I am just beginning to realize that there is quite a bit I don't know about them. Please teach me what you can so that I don't make this same mistake again when something else comes up that I don't know about.
Now as far as disciplinary action goes … I have something particularly devious in mind … a challenge really. The next cut we make on the herd, I challenge you and the others to work the herd on foot." She grinned impishly. "We'll see just how good you really are. You say any terrain under any condition? Let's see if those conditions include horse poop!"
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The message from the border guard had been decidedly odd. The hunting party was returning, they were all foot and they only had three horses for the four of them. None of the four appeared to have sustained an injury although from their posture and rate of speed, appeared somewhat distraught.
Being quite familiar with the sons of Elrond and the Mirkwood Prince, the border guards would have expected animated conversation, joking with each other and at the very least a wave of greeting as the four passed by. The Guards could tell that something had happened – something bad – because not one of the four even looked in their direction. They did their duty and notified Imladris that the four were coming in while hoping that whatever had befallen the four was something the healing powers of Imladris could mend.
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Elrond called loudly for Glorfindel as he hurried towards the front door. His heart was beating madly in anticipation of the arrival of his sons and Legolas. Something was wrong – he had sensed it even before the message bird had arrived from the border guards and he was hoping that whatever was wrong was something he could do something about either as a father or as a healer.
He and Glorfindel were standing at the bottom of the steps when Elladan walked through the entranceway followed soon after by the other three. Elladan had almost walked by when Elrond caught up with him and laid a staying hand on his arm.
"Elladan?"
Elladan spoke quietly and without ever meeting his father's eyes.
"Not now, Ada. Please."
Elrond removed his hand from his son's arm and watched his oldest as he slowly continued down the path to the stable. He turned back to the others who were busy talking to Glorfindel.
"Where is Elladan's horse? Where is Aranel?"
Elrohir turned to his father.
"Aranel was wounded by a feline predator then received another wound – this one fatal – when she placed herself between Elladan and a wild boar that had attacked. She lived only long enough for Elladan to say goodbye."
The youngest twin's voice broke and his eyes filled with tears at the memory. Elrond hugged his son then gently pushed him away, looking him over carefully for any sign of injury. Elrohir managed a small smile.
"None of us were injured, Ada, although Elladan took a hard blow to his back when the boar charged."
Elrond nodded.
"I want the three of you to go bathe, eat and rest then I want all of you to come to my study so I may learn the details of this tragedy – you will all feel better for the telling."
After turning their horses over to the stable hands, the three bowed to Lord Elrond and Lord Glorfindel then slowly walked up the steps of the house.
Elrond turned to Glorfindel. "Though my father's heart bids me go to my eldest, my instincts tell me to leave him alone for the moment."
Glorfindel nodded. "I agree, Elrond. Elladan needs some time alone to grieve and come to terms with Aranel's death. Those two were very close and her death is going to leave a hole in his heart. He just needs some time alone."
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When Elladan reached the stables, he went directly to Aranel's stall, stopping in the doorway and looking around. Memories flooded his mind as he walked into the stall, picking her hoof pick off the floor and putting it back in the tack box, smiling sadly as he remembered how he would pat the leg he wanted to work on and she would pick up the opposite leg.
He picked up her rag doll, remembering the game she would play with it, shaking it then throwing it up in the air. He held the doll to his nose, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply of her scent. Though the toy would disintegrate with age, the memories he held in his heart of his time with his precious friend would never fade and disappear.
It was when he gently caressed her winter blanket as it hung from a hook just inside the door of the stall, that the finality of it hit him – hard. Pulling the blanket off its hook, he seated himself with his back to the far wall and began to rock himself as the tears threatened to fall. Finally, he could deny his grief no longer and after burying his face in Aranel's blanket, he began to sob.
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My Lady?
Anayah's head jerked up and turned toward the stable.
"What is it?" Rahan asked.
She just held up her hand, asking for silence. Rahan was not offended, for he instantly knew she was communicating silently and needed to concentrate. He sat back in his chair and waited patiently for the communication to be concluded.
Yes, Elias, I am here.
The oldest of your brothers came home without his friend.
Oh, no. She sighed. What happened?
She gave the greatest gift she could – her life for that of her Lord.
Where is my brother now?
He sits in the shadows of her stall and grieves.
I can't help but feel that if he would accept company at all that he would prefer that of our father, one of my brothers or even Legolas.
Under other circumstances perhaps this would be so, but I sense that in this case the softer touch of a sister might be more welcomed.
I'm on my way. Watch him carefully – and tactfully – until I get there.
The mental contact was broken, after which Anayah jumped to her feet.
"I am needed at the stable – Elladan lost Aranel on the hunting trip. If you have to follow, be discrete."
"As you wish."
She had forgotten about her injured ankle for the moment but the second she put her full weight on it, it gave out on her and it was only Rahan's quick hands that kept her from falling.
"Well … that will pretty much take the twinkle out of my eye!" She grimaced.
She patted her Captain on the arm and after taking a few test steps, decided it would be fine for the moment, then giving Rahan a quick kiss on the cheek, limped out the door. Behind her, Rahan sighed before he followed. Once more, he found himself amazed at his young Charge's uncanny and oftentimes unnerving ability to change "speeds," so-to-speak, almost in the middle of a thought. She had just recently suffered a major blow to her self-confidence then justified or not, her feelings had been walked all over by her father. She had been crying like most young ones would have done but when she was called upon – when it mattered the most – she immediately switched from one mind set to another and without effort … but such was Anayah.
He walked down the stairs from the family's living quarters to the common room and when Súrion caught his eye, he gave the Silvan Guard the hand signal to follow discretely. Súrion knew what that meant – he was not to be seen – one of his Thurin Tirith specialties.
Then he saw Lord Elrond looking in his direction and while he really had no desire to speak to the elf Lord, he also knew that such a mindset would get neither of them anywhere. Besides, even elf Lords had bad days where they could put one or both of their feet in their mouths. Perhaps a little diplomacy was needed – perhaps an encouraging word might serve the situation better. He decided to test the waters and walked to where Lord Elrond was standing.
"You are looking quite pale, my Lord. Are you not well?"
Elrond smiled wanly.
"I am exhausted and a bit overwhelmed by my own lack of tact, Captain, but I cannot – will not – rest until I put right what I have injured with my poorly worded counsel." He glanced at the door. "Anayah is well? I just saw her leaving – limping all the way."
"She will be fine, my Lord, although some productive personal time between the two of you might make her heart feel better. As to where she was going … I believe Elias bespoke her and told her that Lord Elladan might benefit from her presence. Súrion follows and will let us know if additional assistance is needed.
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Anayah hurried as fast as her ankle would permit until she reached the stable. Even before she arrived in front of Aranel's stall, she could hear the soft sound of her brother giving voice to his grief.
She remarked to herself just how odd it was to hear him crying. Knowing that he had inherited his father's skill as an empath helped her understand just how much more vivid his sorrow was at this moment for the loss of his four-legged companion. Elladan was a passionate and sensitive elf under any circumstances – loyal to a fault and loving to those he knew and had accepted as friends and extended family. He celebrated life every day and in every way that he could. But now, a breach had been created between his values of passion and sorrow. He had lost his balance and it would take the concerted effort of all those who held him close to their hearts to help him find his way once more.
Seeing him sitting in the shadows at the back of the stall with his face buried in Aranel's blanket made him look so very young, almost like an elfling of less than a millennium. But young he was not, while worthy of dignity he was and while under most circumstances she would have let him have his solitude, this time she would go to him. If Elias thought this was important, for some reason, then she would respect that. There was something to be done here.
She entered the stall and quietly walked to where her brother was sitting and when she knelt in front of him, he raised his head and looked at her with red-rimmed and puffy eyes. Neither of them spoke for some moments, but when she finally reached for her brother, he did not object. He let her hold him then as he once more sobbed brokenly, and in turn, Anayah just rocked him and caressed his head, much as his mother would have done if she had been there. Elias had been right – Elladan needed the feminine touch for he would not have gotten the relief that his tears were giving him if it had been his father, brothers, or Legolas that had gone to him. Tears would not wash away the memories of the tragedy or his grief, but they would cleanse away the darkness in his heart that would prevent him from dealing with Aranel's death in a healthier manner.
"How did you know?" He said after a bit when the tears had stopped.
"Elias is honoring Aranel's sacrifice by grieving with you but like me, believes that there are times when loss is not as hurtful when it is shared with somebody who understands. I do, Elladan. I understand what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest then handed back to you in tiny pieces. I know what it feels like to miss someone so bad that it hurts to breathe and I think you know that we are kindred spirits in our sorrow – and know also that you will survive." She laid her temple against that of her oldest brother. "But if ever you feel overwhelmed by all this, Elladan, you know you have somebody to go to. I had Haldir when I had nobody else just as you will have me when your sorrow gets to be too much."
She settled herself beside her brother then took his hand.
"I have encountered various cultures over the years that had a very interesting custom regarding death. When someone they know dies, they sit together, remember that person's accomplishments, laugh, and maybe share a few tears over things they had done together, serious, funny and otherwise. Though there is a hole in your heart right now, Elladan, but perhaps you and I can begin to fill that hole with memories."
Elladan smiled softly and clasped Anayah's hand with both of his.
"Aye, little sister, perhaps we can."
The two of them sat and talked for some time, alternating between laughter and tears until Elladan's heart was much calmer. Anayah suggested that a hot bath, a cup of wine and a hot meal might help as well. Elladan kissed her cheek then rose from the stall's soft floor and began walking slowly toward the house. His heart would not be well for some time but at least he had taken the first step in the healing process.
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Anayah watched her brother walk away and even after he had passed from sight, she continued to stare as the beginnings of a certain thought began to take form in her mind. After a moment, she turned and walked to her stallion's stall.
"Elias, I need your advice."
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Before she carried out her new plan, Anayah had to go and administer the dragon Lord's medication because he was still having problems with falling asleep, most of the time at inopportune moments and without warning. Her father had told the two of them that this condition would persist until the anesthetic worked its way completely out of his bloodstream. The vile creatures had no idea what they were doing when they tried to keep him sedated and were very lucky that their clumsy efforts had not kill him.
When she had run out of the house earlier, she had taken two of the leaves coated with the antidote with her because she knew she would eventually have to pay the dragon Lord a medical call. Now she was on her way to the little stream where he had gone to get a drink of water and to stretch his legs.
Ederyn just shook her head. She wouldn't tell the young she-elf that Asgorath was actually trying to hide from her, for she knew her mate needed the medicine. It was just that he had recently taken a strong dislike to the taste of the medicine for it had changed since he had arrived at Imladris. He had said something about it tasting like "nasty orcs" before he had ambled away, leaving her to stare at his retreating figure while shaking her head. This was going to be an interesting afternoon.
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"Lord Asgorath? Where aaaaare you?" She playfully sang while pretending that a dragon the size of a house was not trying to hide in the forest in front of her.
Finally, exasperated with the dragon Lord, and knowing that she had another appointment after this one, she stomped to the forest where she grabbed a large bush and pulled it aside to reveal a very large head resting on very large front feet. Only the eyes moved – then he tried, only somewhat successfully to charm her with his dragon/smile.
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The elder elves had gone to the dragon's nest to speak to Asgorath. It had been their intention to discuss what the next step of their plans would be or at the very least discuss a time when they could meet to plan the series of council meetings they would need to have before they began their journey to Annúminas. The dragon Lord had not been there but like Anayah before them, Ederyn had given them the general location of where the dragon/Lord was. The only information she hadn't given them was that Anayah had gone in the same direction not that long before. She smiled.
Who says I don't have a sense of humor?
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Elrond, Galadriel, Celeborn, Thranduil and Círdan arrived at the little clearing by the stream where Lady Ederyn had told them the Lord had gone to get a drink of water. While they expected to see Asgorath relaxing in the sun beside the stream, they were totally unprepared for the sight that did greet them.
What they saw when they arrived was neither the dragon/Lord relaxing nor the picture of a contented dragon. What they saw was Anayah about ten feet in the air, upside down, long ebony braid pointing to the ground, her arms wrapped around a dragon incisor, her legs around his muzzle and the leaves coated with the antidote tucked in her belt. The five elves froze, not quite believing what they were looking at – or hearing which was the equivalent of a dragon conversation without said dragon moving his lips.
"I refuse to eat one more leaf of that foul tasting concoction – your leaves were minty fresh … these are not!" He said slowly and indistinctly.
His voice was strained and while it would have been within his power to open his mouth, twitch his hide, shake his head and rid himself of an annoying little gnat, he did none of the above. He was too fond of Anayah and did not want to cause her to injure herself.
When the two finally noticed the elder elves standing at the edge of the clearing, staring at them and at Anayah in particular with disapproval, he tried to smile – without dropping Anayah. When he finally spoke it was in a somewhat quiet, strained and distorted voice.
"Young one, you WILL remove your foot from my nostril."
Anayah complied – and immediately plummeted to the ground. When she rose to her feet, brushing herself off, she immediately saw the disapproving expression on the faces of her Grandmother and father and dropped her eyes guiltily. The other elves wisely remained silent although if she had looked closely, she would have seen the tears in her Grandfather and King Thranduil's eyes and wouldn't have had to wonder just why Lord Círdan had to turn away at that moment.
"Anayah, I can't but wonder if a little more respect might be shown to our guest."
Her Grandmother's voice was quiet but in the few words she did speak she expressed her disapproval of her granddaughter's conduct which was the worst punishment Anayah could have ever received. She was suitably crushed.
"Lord Asgorath, I can see that this is not a good time to visit. We will leave you now but will visit you in your nest later this afternoon. Perhaps then you will be more rested."
"That would be acceptable." His tone was formal but polite and after he had finished speaking, the elves bowed then turned around and walked away.
Asgorath immediately turned his head to Anayah.
"Anayah …" He began.
"My most sincere apologies for humiliating you in front of the elder elves, my Lord."
Asgorath just shook his head.
"You did not humiliate me, my young friend. You have fought for me, protected me and I can't remember the last time I have laughed so much. If the others seem to have lost their sense of humor for the moment, then that is their loss. You have not offended me – and in the long run, that is what counts."
Not yet out of hearing range, a fact not lost on the dragon/Lord, the elder elves looked at each other then almost as one guiltily hung their heads.
"Perhaps we were a bit harsh on the young one." Celeborn diplomatically suggested, even though he had not been one of the harsh-sounding elves.
"He did have a point." A wise Galadriel added.
Elrond sighed.
"I think I lost my sense of humor about the time the twins learned to walk."
Thranduil took that moment to lose his composure, bending double as he began to roar with laughter and the others, taking their cue, began to laugh as well.
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It was an hour and a half later when Elrohir knocked on his twin's bedroom door. Elladan opened it and invited his brother in.
"Brother, I just got a message for you from Anayah asking that you meet her at the bottom of the steps as soon as you can."
"Did she say what she wanted?"
Elrohir shrugged.
"Actually, the messenger said he was unsure what she wanted but said that it was important that you meet her at the bottom of the steps in front of the house."
"Hm." Was Elladan's only reply as he and his twin left the room and headed toward the front doors.
The two were standing at the bottom of the steps when Aragorn and Legolas joined them. They had heard the messenger deliver his message and got the sense that something was going to happen and were curious as to what it might be. The elder elves were just returning from a stroll in the gardens and were talking to the young ones when they all heard the sound of approaching horses.
They turned to the sound and saw Elias and Anayah coming around the bend in the path from the stables. Anayah was walking at the side of her stallion but it was the second horse, the one she was leading that caused mouths to drop open and more mature eyebrows to raise.
Of all the horses sired by Elias, the three-year-old white mare dancing at her side had been Anayah's favorite. Her confirmation was perfect, long, strong legs, a proportionate body with a broad chest that spoke of a greater than average lung capacity and endurance. The large, dark, expressive eyes spoke of intelligence and alertness as she intently looked at everything around her. Knowing that this was a matter between Elladan and their sister and friend, the others stepped back. Elladan's eyes filled with tears, and Anayah reached up and wiped a tear off his cheek then placed a kiss there, and the roped attached to the mare's halter into his hands.
"No tears, brother, not for the start of another journey. She will never be Aranel, Elladan, but she is willing to accept you as her friend and Lord if you will but give her a name. Perhaps she can help you begin to heal?"
"But you love this mare, Anayah. Why would you do this for me?" He asked quietly.
She looked at him then winked.
"Because you are my brother and because you never laughed at me when I grieved for Chubby."
The eldest twin looked at her silently, for a moment, then gently kissed her forehead before turning to the mare who nuzzled his neck and nickered softly.
"She will be called Lalaith."
He laid his forehead against that of the mare for a moment then without another word, began to lead her toward the stable.
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The sunset was magnificent – shades of red, orange, yellow and the dark indigo of far off shadows, indeed, all the colors from the palette of the greatest artist of them all and the perfect balm for one tired in both body and spirit. Elrond shifted his weight as he tried to make himself more comfortable in the place where he had been standing for the past few hours. In theory, being an elf, he should have been more than capable of standing in the same place and position for days, but the bones he had broken when he had been buried in the slide still ached unmercifully and the concussion he had received in the same incident had left him with a headache that never quite went away.
He was distracted by the sound of a small, soft thud followed almost simultaneously by a dwarvish curse and the rattling of teacups on a tray. He smiled.
"You are well, Estel?"
Not questioning how his father knew it was he, the blushing, young Ranger walked up beside him and after kissing his father's temple, set the tray down on the table and began pouring a cup of his favorite, evening blend.
"Aye, Ada, I am well." He settled his father's teacup before the elder elf before he continued. "I saw you standing here when I walked by earlier and when I passed by a short time ago and you were still in the same place, I thought that a cup of tea and pleasant company might help soothe your spirit."
Elrond took a sip of his tea, sighed deeply and for a moment closed his eyes as he tried to find his emotional balance.
"Ada? What troubles you?" Aragorn prompted softly.
After another moment, Elrond opened his eyes then without removing them from the beauty before him, spoke of what was in his heart.
"I contemplate death, my son."
Sensing his youngest son's rising disquiet, the elder elf put an arm around the young man's shoulders and drew him close, noticing not for the first time that his youngest was growing, fast approaching adulthood when there would be some serious choices to be made regarding his future and the role he would be willing to play in it. He sighed then resigned himself to the fact that Aragorn was well old enough to hear what he had been recently thinking however dark it might be.
"No, Estel, I do not contemplate my own passing unless it is as part of the grand scheme of what must eventually come to pass. The elves, as you well know, are tied to the heartbeat of this place … of Arda … and until that grand lady passes into oblivion, we are doomed to walk her paths. Would that we could follow mortals to whatever ends they go when their time here is ended and experience pure peace and contentment, which is their gift from Ilúvatar. Alas, such is not to be, for the race of Eldar." He sighed deeply. "We must walk in memories and twilight until the final ending, but never again in the full light of the sun."
When he saw his son frown in confusion, he smiled and kissed his forehead.
"I do not refer to Valinor, Aragorn, but to the vagaries of what we have learned to hold dear since the Great Awakening. These things are precious to many of us … the hard work, the sweat and both sorrow and laughter. What we have amassed over the life ages in lore and crafts and the interactions with other races is more precious to our spirits than is mithril."
Aragorn nodded.
"But you have always known that this is the way of things, father, so why does this contemplation cause you such turmoil now?"
Elrond took a sip of his tea before he continued.
"As you know, it has been foretold that the final battle between the fallen Vala and the son of Manwë will take place in Valinor. But even in this Melkor is attempting to force his will – is attempting to rewrite the grand masterpiece sung by the choir that brought this beautiful world into being."
Elrond gazed at the panorama before him but for once felt only a sense of urgency instead of the peace he usually felt.
"This may very well be the end of days, and if we are not successful and cannot get Lord Asgorath and Lady Ederyn to Annúminas and through the gate so they can sing it closed, then Melkor will come through. The final battle will be fought here, for the Valar will do what they must, at whatever cost, to prevent his return. They will not allow Melkor's dark malice to once more bespoil what they have cherished for so long – they would rather see it back in the hands of Ilúvatar.
But regardless of where the battle is fought, on Arda or in Valinor, life as we know it will be changed forever – no race will ever be the same again, if Arda survives at all. Arda may be the prize, but she may also be the silent victim. It saddens me greatly that the old ones, indeed the oldest of the old ones, will be the pawns used by Melkor to further his goal of returning to this place and to power."
He looked at his son with all the love he had in his heart.
"I want to know that there will be something left – for you and your people – for all of humanity. I have often thought back to my time of confinement in that mudslide where I was so injured." He rotated his shoulder to ease the ache brought on by his memory. "It was a very humbling experience, believe me. I may have been the Lord of the Realm of Imladris and may have been Second in Command to the High King of the Elves, but when it came down to it, the soil, dirt, rocks and other debris gave not a whit for any of it. If circumstances had been different, that slide would have taken my immortal grace just as quickly and as violently as it would have taken the life grace of the lowliest of the race of Man, Orc or Troll. In death we are all equals, my son."
Aragorn once more filled his father's teacup, letting him talk and hoping that by doing so he could find some comfort.
"When the race of man sees the race of Eldar, they see a race of beauty, intellect, skill and sometimes even magic. Our deeds will live on in myth and legend and we will be remembered for all of these things … and for our arrogance as well." He took a deep breath. "Be that as it may, if the race of man knew of my thoughts as I lay half-buried in that slide, such myths and legends might disappear altogether. And if they knew and understood the import of Melkor's return …"
He shuddered, and this time it was Aragorn who held him close.
"The final music sung by Ilúvatar's great choir has already been written, Ada, and whether we are successful in our task or not, the end result was always meant to be and nothing we do or say can change that fact. Yes, we must look deep into our own hearts to find every portion of courage that we can and we must call forth every skill and talent we have to make sure that we do not fail – and we will be successful at that – I have faith that this will be so, just as I have faith that you will lead us all to where we need to go with all the skills that made you the worthy successor of the great Gil-galad. There is no doubt in anybody's heart."
He smiled lovingly at his father.
"Have a little faith in yourself."
Elrond gave a great sigh as he felt his heart lighten at his son's words and he hugged his son to himself once more.
"You may be considered the hope of man, my Estel, but you are my hope as well. Hannon-le."
TBC