Bonnie Sveen Fan, I really miss Lofty - he's such a great character and a genuinely nice person and so many people would have benefited from his support, though he would have needed support too. Cal isn't that into Alicia, but his pride will definitely be hurt! My Ethan would never want to hurt Cal. Thank you for your review.

totti10, thank you for your review. I'm so glad you were happy with the scene, I was worried it might be disappointing as it was so short. Rita will be in every chapter from now on, except possibly if a chapter ends up being too long and I have to cut it in half. Rita and Iain belong together, but my stories don't always turn out how I want!

Tanith Panic, I'm glad you liked the twist to Kai's story. I wasn't going to include him so much, but then he got involved in Robyn's story and then he was everywhere! I'm glad you like the Zax conversation - I'm keeping the fans guessing! There are a few things I could do with Cal and Matilda. Thank you for your review.

X-Sammii-X, thank you for your reviews. It should be possible to review old chapters, but maybe it depends on the device you're using. But the important thing is I know you enjoyed both chapters, so thank you! I hate Alicia, but I've tried to make her nice again in this. Iain's a very lucky guy if you and Rita both love him! I'm really happy you like the way I write Dylan and Lofty's bromance. They were so good together. Lily and Louise aren't obviously maternal, but Matilda's a special little girl.

InfinityAndOne, thank you for your review. I think Cal is really glad of Lily and Louise's support - and I don't think he's flirted either of them once! Alicia's situation is complicated, but she's nice in this story, so she won't want to hurt either of them. You might find out Rita's decision in this chapter or maybe she's wavering...

Cal rocked Matilda in his arms. He couldn't stop smiling. He knew the nightmare wasn't over yet. He could lose Matilda all over again and he didn't know how he would cope with that. And if Matilda's diagnosis was confirmed, even though he knew it was more than likely, it would devastate him all over again.

But for now, Matilda was back in his life and he wanted to savour every moment. To give her all the love in his heart. To let her know she was a special, precious little girl and it wasn't her fault everyone kept leaving her.

"She actually looks a bit like you," said Louise.

"She's not my blood relation," said Cal. "And don't you think she looks a bit like a toad?"

Louise looked shocked, but then, to Cal's surprise, she laughed. "No more than you do. She's not green, her eyes don't bulge and she's only slimy when I change her nappy."

"Toads are not slimy," said Lily.

Cal had to laugh. It was so typical of Lily to point out something like that, but he wasn't annoyed. He actually wanted to hug her. Lily had cared for his little girl. She'd saved her life. She could say anything she liked as far as Cal was concerned.

"Why don't we take her to see Ethan?" suggested Louise. "What do you think, Matilda? Would you like to go and see Uncle Ethan?"

Cal didn't think he'd ever forget how Ethan had cried when he'd said goodbye to Matilda. That had been the worst thing of all: that he was hurting Ethan. He just hadn't believed there was another way. Taylor had deceived him again. He'd felt he had to let Matilda go.

He'd been wrong, of course. It was top of a very long list of The Most Stupid Things Caleb Knight Has Ever Done.

"I think he would like to see her," said Cal, standing up. Even though Matilda had grown, standing up with her in his arms was easy. As though she was meant to be there. Then he hesitated. "But what if we lose her and Ethan has to say goodbye again?"

"What are you suggesting?" said Lily. "That you hide your baby in your room and hope Ethan doesn't notice?"

"Um… well…"

"How many times have you succeeded in hiding anything from Ethan?" asked Louise.

Again, Cal found himself laughing. He could do a whole lot worse than spend the next few days with Matilda, Louise and Lily. "Really not that many times."

"My suggestion is that you do not even attempt it," said Lily. "What do you think, Matilda?"

"Dadadadadadada!" babbled Matilda.

Cal gasped. "Did you hear that?" He knew she was babbling and it probably meant nothing, but hearing the sound from his baby girl was still special.

"She is…" Lily stopped. "She is learning very quickly."

Cal lifted Matilda so her nose brushed against his. "That's my girl. That's my precious baby girl."

Dylan wanted to deny it. He hadn't ever wanted anyone to know how he felt. Then they would pity him and try to help him and he knew there was nothing they could do. Lofty would still be gone from the ED because he'd made a stupid mistake.

Lofty's eyes were still on him. Dylan found himself unable to look away.

And unable to lie to him. "Yes," he said.

Lofty held out his hand. It hung there for a moment, the movement clearly an effort for him. Dylan took it in his own.

"It's not your fault," said Lofty clearly.

"But I was the one who told her to come with us!"

"It was an emergency," said Lofty. "You needed two nurses. We were the only two. We didn't see anyone else on the way. You had no other choice, Dylan."

Dylan had tried telling himself this before, but it had never worked. It was different when Lofty said it. "Really?"

Lofty nodded. "Really. The nurses aren't your responsibility. They were the responsibility of the senior nurse – and I was the nurse taking charge that day. My job was to send Diane home; I didn't do it. So it's my fault."

"But if I hadn't pushed you to take control that day; if I'd let Jacob carry on; let you ease into the job gently-"

Lofty said nothing for a moment, but Dylan could see several emotions passing through eyes. "Do you know something, Dylan?"

Dylan waited. Lofty could be about to say that it was all Dylan's fault; that he was the only person to blame. But he didn't think so.

"I think we've both been blaming ourselves for far too long," said Lofty. "We need to move on. It was a terrible tragedy, but we can't do anything more for Diane. But every day, there are more patients who need us. We need to make sure we do what's right for them."

Dylan stared at him. "We?"

Lofty nodded, an almost shy smile coming to his face. "I'd like to go back to nursing, Dylan. You were right. Becoming a bereavement counsellor was a way of atoning for what I'd done. Nursing is what I want to do – and I don't think I'm a bad nurse."

"You're an excellent nurse!" said Dylan. "Ben, I'm so… you won't regret this. I'm sure you won't. Will you come back here?"

"If Rita… well, I suppose I mean Jacob will let me."

Dylan looked around, certain Rita had been with them moments before, but she was gone. He believed Lofty wasn't the only person who should be returning to the ED, and Jacob had enough to consider at the moment, when he'd nearly lost Connie and Grace and could still lose them both. "I'll speak to Jacob. I'm sure he'll want you back."

But Lofty was shaking his head. He was lying on a hospital bed, hooked up to monitors and probably wasn't feeling nearly as well as he was pretending, but there was a strength about him. A determination. "Thank you, Dylan, but I'll speak to him. And I'll be happy to go back to being a staff nurse if that's all that's on offer. Jacob needs to know he can trust me and I'll do whatever it takes to persuade him he can."

Rita skidded to a halt in cubicles and looked around. "Robyn! David! Have you seen Iain?"

"He went outside," said Robyn, who was being helped into a wheelchair by David. "Amira might have seen him. She went outside with Kai and his parents."

"What did you let him go outside for?" almost shrieked Rita.

Robyn flinched. "I'm sorry. I did tell him not to, but he ignored me and I was told to stay in bed…"

David turned silently and looked at Rita. There was no censure in his gaze, only understanding. But it calmed Rita instantly.

"No. You did the right thing, Robyn. I'm sorry." Despite her hurry, Rita went to Robyn's side and patted her shoulder. "I didn't mean to shout. I'm just concerned about Iain. His scan came back fine, but he's been through a terrible experience."

"Of course you are," said Robyn. "You love him. And if you love someone… you shouldn't ever let them go. Every minute is precious, Rita. Every minute could be the minute you lose them."

"But so much has gone wrong between us," said Rita.

"That doesn't mean you can't put it right," said Robyn. "Glen lied to me, you know. He told me his wife had died of cancer. But there was no wife. I thought it was a line he used to pick up vulnerable women and he'd come to the mortality café expecting to find someone like me. But it was his way of talking about illness and mortality; his way of getting himself closer to facing the truth. I don't know exactly why you lied, Rita. But sometimes lies aren't about hiding the truth but helping you towards it."

Rita looked at her for a moment, processing her words. "I wanted to tell him that maybe we could be friends and see how it goes."

"And I'm sure he'll take that," said Robyn. "And if that's what you really want, that's what you should do. But don't forget what happened today, Rita. You think you and Iain have time, but all it takes is one moment like today; one accident and your chance could be gone."

Ethan's mouth was dry. Perhaps he simply hadn't drunk anything for a long time. He tried to speak, but his voice was raspy. "A mistake?"

Alicia's eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I…" Ethan turned away from her and cleared his throat. "I'm fine." He actually felt rather shaky, but at least he could speak now. "What mistake, Alicia? I'm sure you haven't made any mistakes."

"No, I have," said Alicia, looking up at him. "I thought Cal would be the right man for me because… well, because he's the kind of man I've been… spending time with recently. I tried to be careful. I tried to choose men who would give me what I thought I wanted but not hurt me."

"Alicia!" exclaimed Ethan in sudden, desperate concern. "None of those men did hurt you, did they?"

Alicia shook her head. "They didn't. I was lucky. And I knew Cal wouldn't hurt me either. I know he'd be a gentleman in his way." She looked up at Ethan. "But he's not the kind of gentleman I want. I don't want to be that person anymore!"

"And you're not," said Ethan soothingly, stroking her hand. "You're not that person, Alicia. You never were. It's okay. And Cal… he hasn't really been like that for a while. Not since Taylor, really. There have been some women, but not many. After caring for Matilda and then Emilie – she's our biological mother: oh gosh, Cal will have so much to tell you – I think he's matured. Even before that, he was thinking of something more permanent with Taylor. I really do think he'll be a very good boyfriend to you, Alicia. And if he isn't, he'll have me to answer to! But I do think that might be what he wants now."

"But what about I want?" asked Alicia, her eyes filling with tears.

Ethan held her hand more tightly. "Alicia, what you want is very important. It's the most important thing of all. Don't cry, sweetheart. It's okay. I'm here and whatever you want, all you need to do is tell me and I'll do everything I can to sort it out. If you don't want Cal, that's fine. I'm not going to force you to go out with him. I couldn't if I tried! But I would never try to force you into anything. I want you to be happy, Alicia." He leaned closer. "So please. Won't you tell me what you do want?"

"I want you, Ethan," whispered Alicia.