AN: So glad Missblueeyes63 and Elise Deschat were able to come out and play ;)
Chapter 38 – What A Nightmare
St. Joseph's Hospital - ICU - 2 Days After Accident
Jules caught movement at the door in her peripheral vision. Turning, she spied Matt and Suzie. "Matt!" Crossing the room, Jules carefully pulled Matt into a light hug. "How are you?"
"I'm alright. I wanted to see if you would mind a visitor for a bit."
"Of course! Come on in and have a seat." Jules was well aware Matt would still be in pain from the accident. She graciously gave up her seat to provide him more comfort.
"I'll be in the waiting room. Let me know if you need anything." Suzie placed a kiss on Matt's cheek before hugging Jules and heading out.
Matt entered the room and stood at the foot of Sam's bed. His heart ached at the sight of his best friend again hooked up to so many monitors, tubes, and relying on a ventilator to breathe for him. If only I had done more...
"Matthew Taylor, you stop that right now."
Jules stern voice drew his attention. Looking at her his brows furrowed.
"I know what you're thinking and stop it. You did everything you could. Some things are just out of our control. Stop berating yourself over his condition." Jules placed a hand on his back and encouraged him to take a seat. "He's going to be worried about you when he wakes up."
"Why? It's not like I'm the one who fought a target with a hole in my arm, while the one supposed to be covering my six, and my wife, slept." Matt grated out as he sank carefully to the chair, his body reminding him of all it endured.
"Matt!" Jules' face reflected the shock his words engendered, "Sam would never think any such thing. Your driving kept us alive. He is aware you were pinned in the car and the man who ran us off the road planned to kill you too." Jules' gaze met Matt's. "You wouldn't want him to feel guilty for any of it, and there is no reason you should carry that burden either. You kept us on the road longer than anyone else I know could have. Your skills kept an innocent family safe. So thank you."
Matt swallowed the lump in his throat. He shouldn't be surprised Jules guessed what he was thinking. He nodded slowly. "Okay, I'll try."
"So, how are you feeling?"
"Well, I'm sure Suzie told you my condition." Matt smiled slightly at the thought of his wife.
"Yes."
"Head still has a man working a jackhammer in it. Doc says I hit my head hard on the window when we rolled. Gave me quite a concussion. I think it's the worst I've had yet." Matt's right hand rose to rub his temple a moment. "Might have been worse though, thank Heavens for the invention of safety glass."
Jules eyed his cast which went from his elbow to the base of his fingers, encompassed his pinky and ring finger too. Suzie told her Matt's arm would heal without issue since it was a clean break of his ulna. "And your ribs? How are they feeling?"
"Actually, they protest with every breath, but don't tell Suzie … she wouldn't have let me come."
Jules lightly rubbed his shoulder. "Your secret is safe with me as long as you promise to take it easy. I see you're gonna have a new scar. It'll make you quite dashing and dangerous looking." Jules pointed to the stitched up gash along Matt's hairline. She winced a little as Matt's bruised face formed into a weird smile given the left side of his lips remained swollen. All damage from the airbag according to Suzie.
Grateful to Matt for all he had done, Jules smiled back at him. "Hey, I promised Sadie she could sign your cast. Hope you don't mind."
"She already did." Matt raised his left arm to show her Sadie' signature, and artwork … flowers, stars, and hearts in multiple colors around her name.
"Leave it to her to decorate it for you. Suzie didn't tell me about your fingers. Why are they in the cast?"
"Airbag slammed my arm into the window, broke them. Suzie wasn't too happy. Guess she's still upset if she didn't say anything about this." Matt's eyes saddened at the recollection. He hated making Suzie distraught. "When I came to, the doctor explained the necessity..." Susie made the decision, didn't make him feel any better though… "They had to cut my wedding ring off because of the swelling and bruising surrounding the fracture of the fourth and fifth metacarpals …" Glancing at Jules and her confused expression, he offered a visual explanation, with his good hand and his non-encased thumb…"the bones here…" pointing to the palm of his hand."
"No!" Jules' hand went to her mouth as her eyes widened in surprise.
"Yeah. We'll try to repair it, but if a jeweler can't fix my band, Suzie will buy me a new one." His gaze returned to his friends bruised and battered face. "How is he really doing, Jules?"
"Well, they've started weaning him off the sedation. They want him to wake up and breathe on his own before taking him off the ventilator." Jules drew in a deep breath as her face softened and she carefully carded her fingers through Sam's hair. "If he can maintain his oxygen levels on room air, they will move him out of ICU. Then Sadie can come visit him."
"That's great news, Jules." Matt shifted in his chair, his bruised ribs making themselves known.
Jules noted Matt's adjustment in the chair and realized he would be uncomfortable in the hard plastic. Glancing around the room, she spied a small pillow. Matt offered a whispered thanks as she tucked it behind him before turning back to Sam and taking his hand in hers.
"How are the rest of the guys?"
"Good, tired. They are taking shifts resting. They don't want to go too far for too long until he wakes up."
"I understand. It's how Team One is anytime one of us gets hurt." Jules stared at Sam's hand in hers. She could have sworn his fingers just moved.
"Your team is taking great care of everyone. Ed's wife, Sophie, man, she's a good cook." Matt noted Jules no longer appeared to be listening to him, but staring intently at Sam's face. He became concerned. "Jules?"
"I think he's waking up," Jules whispered, afraid to jinx things.
Matt immediately stood, coming closer to Sam's bed. Glancing at the monitors, he noted a slight change. All of a sudden the ventilator's alarms came on. He pressed the call button to alert the nurses. "Sam, need you to calm down and open your eyes."
Jules' gaze fixed on her husband's face. His eyes moved under his eyelids. "Come on, Sam. Show me those amazing baby blues."
As if obeying a direct order Sam's eyes blinked open. Once, twice, then Jules noted the panic in his eyes.
"Sam, you're on a ventilator. It's helping you breathe. Relax and let it do its job. Everyone is safe, just relax."
Matt noted the fear in his brother's eyes and moved directly into Sam's line of sight. "I'm fine, Sam. Alive, well, and right here. Now stop fighting, relax, allow it breathe for you."
"I need you to step out of the room. Now." A doctor and two nurses shooed them out. "Sam, my name is Dr. Brenden Wilder..."
Jules stood outside Sam's room as the doctor spoke to Sam and checked him over. One arm wrapped around her waist as the other came to rest over her mouth. Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited.
Matt slid his right arm around Jules and pulled her close, ignoring the ache in his ribs at the gesture. "He's going to be okay, Jules. Waking up to a ventilator is never easy."
"I wish I could be in there."
"Trust his doctors. They know what they're doing." Matt encouraged.
Jules watched with bated breath as the doctor adjusted the ventilator settings, allowing Sam full control. Her heart raced as she prayed Sam would be able to breathe on his own. Relief flooded through her when several minutes later Sam's doctor came out to speak with them.
"Jules, he is doing well." Dr. Wilder offered a reassuring smile. "We were able to extubate him since he appears to be able to breathe on his own. We've put him on oxygen for the time being, but we expect to gradually wean his use and as long as his O2 sats go no lower than ninety-four percent we'll evaluate taking him completely to room air. His gunshot wounds are healing nicely, and there is no sign of infection. I want to keep him in ICU for a bit longer to monitor his air exchange. If he continues to do well, we will move him down to a surgical ward."
Relief flooded through Jules at the news. Sam was pulling through. Her husband would be okay. "Can I see him again?"
"He is resting at the moment. We are also about to do shift change so the nurses will need full access. Give them about thirty minutes to get him resettled. I'll have them come get you, if they finish sooner."
"Thank you, doctor."
Brenden smiled, nodded once, and left to continue his rounds. He was happy the soldier would pull through. When Braddock first landed in his care he wasn't sure the man would survive the surgery to repair the damage from the gunshot wound to his chest. Now, though, he had faith the man would make a complete recovery.
St. Joseph's - Surgical Floor - Sam's Room
"You guys should go home." Jules peered at Matt and Suzie who sat on the other side of Sam.
Her husband moved to a telemetry room on a general surgical ward about an hour ago. Sam had been sleeping ever since he first woke up six hours ago and Jules was more than ready for him to wake once again. Knowing his body needed the rest, though, she tried to be patient. Thankfully she was not left alone. At least one JTF2 and one SRU member remained with her at all times. Until now.
"I've been home. Now I want to be here." Matt stated as he glanced at Sam's monitors for the hundredth time.
"You need rest though."
"And you don't?" Suzie eyed her friend and her brows rose.
"I don't want to leave him." Jules rubbed the back of Sam's hand as she gazed thoughtfully at her husband.
"He's going to be okay, Jules." Matt leaned forward and rubbed his casted arm.
"You sound like a broken record, Taylor." Smirking Jules eyed him. "Are you hurting?"
Not waiting for a response give her husband's ability to downplay his pain…hell the entire unit shares the annoying trait… Suzie stood, went to her purse, and withdrew a bottle of water along with Matt's pain meds. Shaking out the proper dosage, she returned the medicine bottle before rejoining her husband.
Matt took the offered pills and chased them down with water. Offering his wife a grin of thanks in return.
"How is our patient doing?" Nurse Rosalie Baker opened Sam's chart and began making notes.
"Still sleeping. His vitals have been stable." Matt watched closely, noting Sam's vitals as the nurse recorded them on his chart.
"Ah, you're the medic friend then. I heard you had quite a time of it yourself." Rosalie eyed the man and smiled.
When she received her update at the start of shift the other nurses shared the story of the two soldiers and one SRU constable involved in a car accident, one of which was shot. Rosalie smiled to herself, the nurses still kept an eye on Mrs. Braddock and Mr. Taylor even though they were discharged from the hospital.
"Just a concussion and a broken arm. Nothing major." Matt recognized the intent of her gaze. He realized with their shortened stint under observation, the nurses would have been instructed to continue assessments of both him and Jules each time they entered.
"Well, everything appears to be in order. Inform me as soon as he wakes so I can ensure his medication is at the proper level to control his pain. He may have ice chips for now, but nothing more until the doctor gives the all clear." Stopping at the door, Rosalie turned her gaze back on the handsome medic behind the bruised face. Too bad he's married. "Please call me if you need anything."
"Thank you for your offer." Jules returning the smile as she addressed the couple "She appears to be compassionate about her work."
"Concerned about patients my foot, she was checking out my husband! I told you breaking your ring finger was a bad idea. Now no one knows you're married to me!" Suzie complained with a mock pout to her lip once the nurse was out of earshot.
Matt chuckled as he drew his beautiful wife close. "Hey, it isn't like I made the choice." Realizing that was the wrong thing to say as Suzie arched her brows… she had and I just made it harder… he reached out his right hand to caress her cheek. "No one could ever even hold a candle to you, my dear. I am yours now and forevermore."
Suzie gazed into Matt's eyes, love shining in her own. Their lips met in a soft kiss.
Jules turned back to gaze at Sam's sleeping form, giving their friends a moment. She wanted to kiss her own husband.
Sound drifted in. A constant beep, the rustling of someone shifting in a chair, the soft words from voices he recognized. He desperately wished to rise from the darkness consuming him.
A dull ache radiated throughout his entire body and Sam struggled to remember why he hurt from head to toe. Images drifted in and out of focus as he fought his way to consciousness. His eyes opened only to slam shut again as light blinded him.
"Sam?"
The soft, caring voice to his right called to him.
"I'm here, Sam. You can wake up now."
A hand squeezed his, the warmth radiating from where they touched throughout his entire body. He braved the light and opened his eyes again.
"Hey there, handsome."
Jules' beautiful features filled his vision. Blinking again she came more into focus and Sam smiled at his wife. "Jules."
"Hey." Jules whisper oozed relief.
"I had... the weirdest dream." Sam's voice raspy from disuse.
Jules reached to the bedside table and grabbed the cup of ice chips. "Ice?"
Sam grinned in response. A sigh escaped as the cool water melted and wet his sore throat.
"Better?"
Sam nodded his head slowly as the last ice chip melted in his mouth.
"How are you feeling, Sam?" Matt slid forward in his chair.
"Sore." Sam glanced at his best friend and noted the bruising on his face.
"Manageable? Or do you need more?" Matt would call the nurse in a heartbeat if Sam needed additional pain relief.
"Fine."
His head rolled back to gaze at Jules. "I dreamt Sadie was taken. That Ed and I were abducted."
Tears welled in Jules' eyes. She wished it all had been a dream.
Pausing a moment he drew in a slow breath. "Someone took you. Dad shot. Our car rolled." Another slow breath. "What a nightmare."
"Oh, Sam." Unable to stop them, tears streamed down her cheeks. "It wasn't a dream."
Sam's gaze remained locked on her as the room descended into silence. Replaying the images he first believed to be his imagination, the haze of sleep ebbed away and he recognized they were memories. It's all real. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
Jules remained silent as Sam processed her words. When his eyes began a careful scan of her for injuries, she reassured him. "I'm fine, Sam. Only a bit bruised from the accident, and slight abrasions on my wrists from the restraints. The headache from whiplash is almost gone now." Reaching out Jules caressed his face. "Truly, I'm alright."
"Sadie?" Concern for his daughter became almost overwhelming.
"She is home safe and sound with the Wordsworths. They've been taking care of her while I've been up here with you. Sadie can come visit you probably tomorrow."
"No harm?" Sam needed confirmation.
"None at all. Team One and Suzie made sure of it."
Sam closed his eyes for a moment as relief flooded through him. "Team One?"
"All safe. No injuries from the bomb call." Jules offered a smile in the hopes of putting Sam's mind at ease.
"Matt!" Sam's eyes shot open again as the memory of the accident flooded in.
"Safe," Matt answered as he stood. He placed a hand on Sam's leg so his friend could be sure of his presence.
Sam turned his head to the left where Matt's voice originated. His brows furrowed as he took in the sight of his best friend.
"Concussion, bruised ribs, cut on my head, broken arm." Matt kept the list simple.
Sam's gaze traveled to Matt's cast-covered arm.
"Clean break. It will heal and not impede me from returning to active duty. I'll be around to make your life miserable for a long time yet." Matt allowed a grin when Sam relax somewhat. "The guys are all safe too. No injuries. They are here when you want to see them. No rush."
Swallowing a lump in his throat he asked the one question he dreaded the answer to. His eyes searching out Jules he knew he had to ask. "Dad?"
Jules bit her bottom lip as the flow of tears started up again. She forced herself to hold in a sob as she shook her head.
Sam's eyes closed as pain lanced through him with the force of a .50 caliber round, shattering his heart. "Dad," Sam breathed out soft and low as grief enveloped him.
"I'm so sorry, Sam." Jules squeezed Sam's hand as a myriad of emotions played across his face.
"The sniper used an armor piercing round. Nothing I could do. I'm sorry, brother." Matt wiped at his own tears.
Suzie put her arm around Matt's waist, offering comfort. Matt carried the weight of being unable to help his best friend's dying father. He confided to her that although Sam would not blame him, he blamed himself. He should have been able to remove him from harm's way sooner. Suzie had to remind him with an active shooter in play, he could not have done any differently.
"Samuel?" A soft, feminine voice came from the door, and Sam's eyes opened halfway.
A sob escaped. "I'm sorry, Mom."
Victoria Braddock crossed the room in long strides and Jules stepped back to allow mother and son space.
"Come on, let's give them privacy." Matt wrapped his good arm around Suzie as they stepped out of the room. Sluggishly, they made their way to the waiting room.
Moving to Sam's side, Victoria took in her son's condition. The stark white bandages on his arm and upper left chest concerned her. However, his tears worried her more.
"Samuel." Ever so carefully she bent down and hugged her son. The tears kept in check, now flowed freely as she witnessed her son's despair.
"It's all my fault, Mom. I'm so sorry." Sam leaned into his mother as they cried. He wished she could hold him as she did when he was a boy and scared of thunderstorms.
"Hush, my boy. This is not your fault!"
"He died... saving me." Sam argued, the images replaying in full technicolor.
Pulling back slightly, Victoria took Sam's face in her hands and turned him to her. She waited until his eyes met hers.
"Samuel Braddock, you listen to me. What happened to your father isn't your fault. He went with you willingly. He wanted to be there to help you, to protect you. It's all he ever wanted." Victoria thumbed away his tears. "Your father loved you more than you will ever know. Think about the effect your death would have had on him, it would have eaten him up from the inside out. What would you be feeling now if Sadie died in front of you?"
Sam's eyes remained fixed on his mother's as she spoke and he accepted the truth in them. The mere thought of Sadie dying and he not being able to do anything about it, made him want to shoot something. He never thought he would understand his father, but Sam came to the realization he understood his dad better than anyone might imagine.
Both men watched as their loved ones were put in danger, both went through moments of pure terror wondering if their child would live. Most importantly, both he and his father would willingly give anything to keep their family safe. His father proved that when he sacrificed himself for his son.
Comprehending his father's motives and actions didn't make losing him hurt any less. In the relative privacy of this room, with only his mom and Jules present, Sam broke down and expressed his intense grief in heart-wrenching sobs as his mother held and rocked him.
AN: I think I'm just going to sneak back to my bunker for a little bit longer... We are nearing the end of this story though, so maybe I can come out to see the light of day soon.