i guess that ayushi's 'goodbye and have fun' chapter gave me bad luck as my plans for a 4 days trip were cancelled so here it is the next chapter. I am sorry if I made you wait a lot but my hand is in pain and I can't write as fast and as much as before. It is not an intense chapter but I can assure you that a storm is coming. I hope you enjoy the new chapter.
" Nikita is your sister Alex and you are both my daughters, this is why I am obsessed with you." Amanda said defeated but firmly.
" I am your birth mother, Alex." Amanda repeated.
Alex stood in complete shock. She wanted to run out of Amanda's room and shout out her complicated feelings. She knew Amanda well enough to know that this wasn't a prank, wasn't a game but Amanda's truth. It explained a lot of things, too, and most importantly why Amanda was unable to pull the trigger when Alex or Nikita were on her gunpoint. But, Alex was still in denial. She didn't want to believe that the woman who raised her wasn't her mother and that her real mother was the woman that she had hated and despised with all her heart, the woman who had betrayed uncountable times, the woman who had tortured her uncountable times. Their relationship was complicated enough, they didn't need a mother/ daughter thing to make it more complex.
And it wasn't only her relationship with Amanda that had changed in one minute. It was her relationship with Nikita, too. Alex always thought of Nikita as a sister but Nikita actually being her sister was something completely different. Alex knew how much Nikita wanted to know her parents and how much that meant to her. How she was supposed to tell her that Amanda was her mother? Did she know about all of that? Did she keep this secret, too? And who was their father? It was the same man or someone else? So many questions were passing through Alex's mind.
It had passed 3 minutes and Alex was still standing motionless, staring at Amanda with empty gaze, her mouth unable to form any kind of question. Her world had come crushing down on her. Her whole life had turned upside down, everything that she thought to be true, were lies. Amanda's reveal was something that she didn't know how to handle.
" Alex..?" Amanda asked hesitantly afraid that she had gone too far to save her relationship with Alex and had managed to put Alex in a complete state of shock. Alex had gone through enough those weeks without learning that I am her mother, I should have kept my mouth is just a child, she can't handle everything at the same time. None can handle what Alex had gone through and she is just a child. I should have known better than to push her so much. Her emotional state was already unstable after Katya and Nikita, she didn't need me to be added to her problems. What the hell was I thinking? Amanda thought sadly.
Alex blinked her eyes hearing Amanda's voice. She couldn't lose it now, not when she was so close to the end, not in front of Amanda.
" We are done here" Alex stated firmly and before Amanda could react she was out of the door.
" Damn it!" Amanda yelled defeated when Alex slammed the door behind her.
She could understand Alex's reaction, it was normal but Amanda felt a little hurt. Her own daughter had just turned her back on her after knowing the truth about their relationship, her own daughter had rejected her. Her heart ached as she collapsed on the couch burying her head in her hands thinking. It couldn't end there, she wasn't ready to end it there, she couldn't let Alex walk out on her just like Nikita, especially now that Alex knew the truth. Amanda was determined to fight for Alex. She had lost Alex enough times in her life to let the history repeat itself. She was done letting the others make the choices for her, she wanted her daughter back. Katya's video had shaken her world. Alex could die in the field every single day and Amanda, now knew, that she couldn't stand the fear of the loss of her daughters. The day that they found Alex almost dead from the merciless questioning in Katya's hands, she had made up her mind. She wasn't going to lose one more day with her daughters because of the past. She wanted to live with them for the now.
She didn't know how to fix her relationship with them but she had to try. She couldn't approach Nikita, she didn't even know where she was, but she could start with Alex. She knew that she had caused Alex much more pain that she had caused to Nikita and gain her forgiveness would be a more difficult task. Nikita would blame her for manipulating and destroying her life, but Alex had much more things to blame Amanda for, for example sex slavery, torture, manipulation, slaughter of her family in front of her and the list can go on and on and on. Amanda knew that her relationship with Alex was even worse because, for god sake, she had never hurt Nikita knowing that she was her daughter but with Alex, she knew! She knew that Alexandra Udinov was her daughter but she didn't care. She was too blind to care. When Alex told her that she was Alexandra Udinov, she had almost a heart attack. She wanted revenge for Alex turning her back on her and joining Nikita, she wanted revenge from Alex for keeping the truth and the daughter away from her, she wanted to reassure Alex's loyalty to her, she couldn't lose her, so she hurt her again and again trying to establish a relationship in the only way that she knew, through fear. If she could fix her relationship with Alex then Nikita was an easy case. But how the hell was she going to fix her relationship with Alex?
" I have created a super mess with my own daughter. Good luck fixing it" Amanda thought sarcastically.
Slowly she stood up and took the keys of her car in her hands.
" I am not going down without a fight, Alexandra. I will fight for you." Amanda said to herself and left her room. She entered her car and drived to Alex's place.
Meanwhile...
Alex had driven to her house. She was an emotional mess. She couldn't take in what Amanda had told her. She couldn't believe it. She threw her keys on the table and she had a cold shower trying to clear her mind and force her mind to start working again. When she was out of the shower, she changed into a shorts and a red tank and she collapsed on the couch thinking of how she was supposed to react. She had so many questions... a headache had already formed. She wanted so badly to cry and break down but she had cried enough the last months to do so one more time. She wanted to remain strong. She needed to know the truth but she wasn't ready to know the truth. Nikita is her sister and Amanda is their mother.. how the hell did this happen?
She was brought out of her thoughts when her cell phone rang. She accepted the call.
" Hi Alex!" Birkoff greeted from the other end of the line.
" Hi" Alex said emotionless. She didn't want to take it out on Birkoff but she didn't have any hold on her feelings anymore.
" How did the meeting with Amanda go? Everything is okay? You sound a little distract." Birkoff replied worried. He had talked to Alex million times and he knew that when Alex was sounded emotionless something was seriously wrong.
" Is Nikita there?" Alex asked ignoring Birkoff's questions.
" No. I don't know where she is. She said that she had to do something." Birkoff replied.
" Tell her to be safe. When she returns, I need to speak with her." Alex retorted seriously.
" Sure. Do you want me and Michael to come by your house. Is everything fine? Princess, do I need to get worried?" Birkoff asked confused.
" Everything is fine. I am just a little tired. Don't worry." Alex lied.
" Okay. How did the meeting with Amanda go?" Birkoff insisted.
" I don't want to talk about it." Alex replied sadly.
" Come on, princess. Talk to me." Birkoff said anxiously as he got more and more worried with Alex's denial to talk about the meeting.
Alex was about to reply to Birkoff's plea when someone knocked the door.
" Don't hung up." Alex ordered and went to open the door.
She opened the door and froze when she saw Amanda standing patiently before her. She didn't expect that. She didn't expect Amanda to come after her. And now there she was. Her mother, Amanda, was standing before her with a soft smile on her face.
" Amanda" Alex breathed unable to think anything else.
" Alexandra" Amanda greeted firmly.
Alex brought the phone back on her ear when she heard Birkoff shouting " Is Amanda there? Are you in trouble?"
" We will talk tomorrow. Goodnight." Alex said to Birkoff and ended the call. The last thing that she wanted was Amanda to understand that she was going to be betrayed by Alex again.
She sighed and turned her attention to Amanda.
" Leave" Alex ordered simply and started closing the door slowly on Amanda's face.
She was stopped when Amanda put a hand on the door stopping it.
" Let me answer your questions, Alex. I am not asking you to forget the past. Just let me explain and then I will respect your choice. I won't bother you again if this is what you want. But please let me explain." Amanda pleaded staring at Alex's eyes.
Alex stared back at Amanda. She could see honesty and concern in them. They weren't empty and cold as usual. Amanda was changing. She didn't want to let Amanda in her heart but she needed to know the truth. She needed to know what have happened in the past and how did they get to that present. She needed to know the facts of her life. She needed answers, answers for herslef and answers for Nikita. And to do so she needed to let Amanda in her house.
Alex took a deep breathe and nodded.
" Come inside." Alex requested and opened the door for Amanda.
Amanda's smile grew bigger and she took an unsure step closer to Alex.
It was time. It was time for her to fight for her daughter, it was time to tell her the truth, it was time to drop her mask. It ws time to live for the present and not for the past. Was it a step towards the future or towards the destruction? Towards the love and acceptance or towards the hate and rejection? Did Amanda have a chance with her daughters or her relationship with them was damaged beyond repair?
please review and let me know what you want to read next. I will try to fulfil your wishes. I really hope that you liked the chapter!