Okay, so I'm late… but I have been watching AVPM and AVPS for the first time, and then I read the fic Dalton, and then I got grounded, but bribery always helps, so that should count for something! And because of Starkid I'm in a Harry Potter mood, so there are some jokes that only Starkids will understand… I also found out that I have the same b-day as Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy). I'm also slowly losing my mind waiting for AVPSY to come to YouTube. If it takes any longer I might have to die. And give some credit to my beta kaylastargirl! And I also changed my pen name. Like it? Please vote on the poll on my page! And this is May 18th 2014.
Disclaimer: You caught me, I do own Glee, I also live in a rainbow castle on cloud 9 with my husband Darren Criss and my siblings Chris Colfer, Lea Michele, Dianna Agron, Heather Morris, and Naya Rivera. We also own pet unicorns that poop jelly beans. Come on be real guys! I do not and never will own Glee. EVER! Only in my dreams… BTW I am so proud of Chris and Lea for winning a PCA last Wednesday!
Kurt
Kurt woke up to Pavarotti chirping. His head hurt, but not that bad as he only had about 3 drinks. After Blaine passed out the night before, (or was it that morning?) Kurt had Finn carry him in and put him in the bed. Kurt then promptly told everyone that the party was over. He got the mattress for Britt and Santana to sleep on with some sheets and pillows, and then made up the futon for Mike and Tina. He then told the rest to go home and get out.
He groaned and sat up. He looked over at Blaine who was still out cold, snoring soundly, and he knew he wouldn't wake him up as he got out of bed, because Blaine was a heavy sleeper. Kurt went into the bathroom and took an Advil and some water. Kurt saw the monstrosity that was his living room, beer bottles, glasses, and trash everywhere.
Kurt had to look away to keep from hurling. He went back into his room with the glass of water and Advil that he had grabbed for when Blaine woke up and set it on the nightstand next to his side of the bed. He lay down and started thinking. He wanted them all out of his house if they didn't live there, but he knew it wasn't going to happen, seeing as he had to make breakfast for the people in the house. Plus he invited Cooper and Anna to breakfast last night, and they had accepted.
Kurt rolled over to look at Blaine. He was so cute when he was sleeping, he could see why Blaine liked to watch him while he slept. Blaine's curls were all loose and tousled. Kurt scooted closer to him and started playing with his curls to get him to wake up. When that didn't work he started saying his name softly and kept getting louder, when that didn't work Kurt tried something else.
"HARRY FREAKING POTTER!" he yelled.
Blaine shot up and winced "Geez, could you yell any louder?" he asked holding his head.
"Yes, and I tried to wake you up while calling your name, but you didn't respond, so I called you Harry freaking Potter, and you responded," Kurt said.
"It could have been because you yelled it" Blaine said rubbing his temples. Kurt reached over to the nightstand besides the bed and picked up the Advil and water and gave them to Blaine.
"Thank you" Blaine said and took the Advil with the water "What happened last night?" he asked.
"You don't remember?"
Blaine shook his head. "Last thing I remember was singing a duet with my brother and then it's fuzzy, what happened?"
"Well, Puck came out that he was gay, then that he was dating Chris Colfer, then you got drunk and Santana said she wanted to have your kids, then you and Artie cheered up Brittany-while turning me on, by singing a mash up of Justin Biebers 'Boyfriend' and Britney Spears' 'Boys' and then you kissed me, yelled "Best Party Ever! Woo!" then passed out" Kurt explained.
Blaine blinked "Puck's gay? And dating your twin? And Santana wanted to have my kids? I guess I owe you and San money, and then she needs to be reminded that she's lesbian."
Kurt laughed "You already paid us, and to be fair, Santana was really drunk, and sometimes she's a straight drunk."
"Oh, can I just sleep the rest of the day?" Blaine asked lying back down into the pillows.
"No, its 10 and we need to make breakfast and then kick everybody out." Kurt said getting out of bed.
Blaine groaned "Pwease?" he asked giving Kurt those puppy eyes that Kurt can't resist and sticking out his lip.
Kurt gave in "Fine, but just until I get breakfast done," he said and climbed on the bed and gave Blaine a kiss on the lips and then left the room.
Kurt went and knocked on Lily's door "Lily, up! Now!" he said and moved into the living room.
He stuck his fingers in his mouth and whistled, loudly. "Up up up! Everybody up, now! Put your sheets in the laundry and clean up this room!"
Kurt heard Santana mumble something in Spanish as she sat up and Puck cussed when he was forced to get up. Mike and Tina got up without any complaints, but they didn't look very happy.
"Why are you getting us up?" Lily asked yawning while coming out of her room followed by Mercedes.
"'Cause it's 10, and why were you in Lily's room Mercedes?" Kurt asked Mercedes.
"I went into my room to go to bed and she was in my bed asleep, so instead of kicking her out I just crawled in with her," Lily said scratching her head.
"Okay… well, clean this up and then go clean yourselves up, I want you all to be dressed and hair brushed by the time breakfast is done." Kurt ordered and then turned around and went into his room to go get dressed, Blaine was fast asleep. Kurt pulled on a pair of faded blue skinny jeans and a black button up shirt. He decided to skip his moisturizing routine, and he stuck some product in his hair and he was good to go.
He went into the living room and the couch was folded up and the mattress was nowhere to be found, but there was still some trash on the floor and they were cleaning. Puck was once again, asleep. Kurt picked up a magazine and hit Puck with it.
"Get up you idiot! I told you to get up like 20 minutes ago!" he yelled as he hit him, not very hard, but he still hit him. It didn't wake him up.
"We already tried that Princess, it won't work," Santana said as she picked up a bottle off the ground.
"Shut up Satan! I have half a mind to start yelling at you for telling my boyfriend that you wanted to have his kids! But I understand you were drunk, so I will look past it, so just… shut up." Kurt said giving her a glare.
Santana put her hands up in surrender "Sorry, I didn't realize you were PMS-ing," she said.
Kurt just glared at her more until she just resumed to picking up trash like everybody else but Tina, who was in the bathroom because it was her turn. Mike, Britt, and Santana were already dressed and stuff.
Kurt decided to try a new tactic in getting Puck to wake up. He knelt down to near Puck's head.
"Noah, Noah, wake up Noah" Kurt whisper talked to Puck.
Puck stirred "Mm, Chris, let me sleep" he said.
Kurt smirked. "Puck, if you do not get up right now I will cut off your balls and feed them to Lord Tubbington. So get up. NOW."
Everybody just stared at Kurt with open mouths as Puck opened his eyes in terror.
"K-Kurt? I thought you were Ch-..."
"Chris? Yes, another thing, if you ever call me Chris again, I will end you. I am much better looking and I have way better taste in clothes than he does." Kurt said standing up "Now, get up and help clean up, then go get cleaned up yourself while I go start breakfast, understand?"
Puck nodded his head vigorously.
"Good" Kurt said and walked into the kitchen and pulled out a pan and some eggs when there was a knock on the door. He went to answer it when Brittany stopped him.
"Kurtie? You're not really going to feed Puck's balls to Lord Tubbington are you?" she asked seriously, "Because I don't think he would like them very much."
"No Brittany, I'm not, I just wanted Puck to get up, so I had to threaten him with something," Kurt said.
"Oh, okay… good," Brittany said.
Kurt then went and opened the door and Cooper and Anna walked in.
"We're here, and we also picked these guys up as we came in," Cooper said and Wes, David, Nick, Jeff, Sebastian, and Hunter walked in.
Kurt rolled his eyes "What is this? Hogwarts?" he asked.
"No, you only wish your apartment was that cool, this is more like Pigfarts," Jeff said.
"Well that must mean its super cool, because Pigfarts has a lion headmaster named Rumbleroar… that talks, and is located on Mars," Kurt said as he closed the door.
Cooper and Anna looked very confused but didn't say anything.
"Why are you here then?" Kurt asked.
"Because you are a good cook," David said.
"So you just wanted a free meal?" Kurt asked.
"Yep," Nick replied and then they went into the living room. Anna followed Kurt into the kitchen.
About 5 minutes later just as they were going to start cooking Kurt heard the door open and close and Finn, Rachel, and Artie entered.
"Hello!" Rachel said as Kurt peeked out of the kitchen.
"Go home terrorists!" he yelled, now annoyed that there was even more people were in his house.
Rachel smiled and played along "Konichiwa Cho Chang!"
"Bitch! I ain't Cho Chang!" Kurt said.
Finn joined in too "Racist sister!" he said to Rachel.
Rachel laughed and then rolled her eyes. Then Quinn and Sam entered and Quinn had dyed her hair… ginger red.
"Ah! Ginger!" Kurt yelled when he saw Quinn "What happened to Quinn's hair and why are you all here?" he demanded.
"Well we dyed Quinn's hair, and I started to make breakfast, but it… caught on fire, so we thought we would come over and eat," Rachel said.
"You know what, I don't even care anymore, breakfast will be done soon, on about 20 minutes, so… just… don't set anything on fire," Kurt said and he went back into the kitchen and he and Anna cooked breakfast.
"Breakfast is ready!" Kurt called 20 minutes later and he set the eggs, bacon, and pancakes out.
"Finn, will you please go wake up the sleeping Gryffindor in the bedroom for me? Do anything you have to, just wake him up," Kurt said.
"Sure," Finn said and he disappeared and about 5 minutes later he came back out carrying Blaine over his shoulder.
"Finn! Put me down!" Blaine yelled. Finn put him down.
Kurt shook his head and went into the kitchen from where they were in the dining room. Since the dining room was connected to the kitchen he didn't have to go far. He heard Blaine say, "I'm surprised you're up Puck."
"Well you're boyfriend kind of threatened to cut off my balls and feed them to Lord Tubbington, so yes, I got up." Puck said. Blaine laughed.
Kurt opened the cupboards looking for syrup, and it was on the top shelf, so he had to stand up on his tiptoes. Out of the corners of his eyes he saw Blaine, and Puck staring at his ass.
"Enjoying the view?" Kurt asked, he saw Puck look down. Blaine just smiled.
Kurt grabbed the syrup and set it down and sat down at the table where everyone was squished around because Kurt refused to let them eat syrup in the living room.
"Maybe we should have put the scarf of sexual preference on you earlier Puck," Kurt said.
"What the hell is the scarf of sexual preference?" Santana asked.
Blaine, Kurt, Lily, Jeff, Rachel, Finn and Wes gasped.
"You don't know what the scarf of sexual preference is? Have you never seen A Very Potter Musical, A Very Potter Sequel, or A Very Potter Senior Year?" Lily asked.
"What's that?" Quinn asked.
They gasped again "Only the greatest musical's ever, that's it, no one leaves this house until we watch AVPM," Lily said.
"Okay…"
40 minutes later breakfast was done and cleaned up, and Kurt was groaning internally because he had to live with these people in his house for another 3 hours. They settled into the living room and put AVPM on, and everybody was actually watching it. Blaine, Kurt, and Lily sang along to all the songs. Jeff, Wes, Rachel, and Finn didn't know it all that well. Rachel and Finn only knew it through when Kurt watched it nonstop for 2 years, and Jeff and Wes only knew it through when Lily showed it to them.
Everybody seemed to enjoy it, they laughed at all the right times. At the end Kurt asked them what they all thought.
"Well, Harry-" Quinn started.
"Darren Criss," Kurt corrected.
"-Right, Darren Criss, looks and sings exactly like Blaine," Quinn finished.
"Yes, I thought that was weird, they have the same birthday and middle name too," Kurt said.
Mercedes looked like she had an epiphany. She looked at Lily "So, that's who is in your room, I thought you blew up a picture's of Blaine and us poster size. But it's Darren Criss and the cast of 'Sing' isn't it?" she asked Lily.
"Yes, it is, same with the tattoo I have, it's Darren, and I got it before I met Blaine," Lily said.
"Oh, that makes sense," Mercedes said.
"Now, you have to watch AVPS and AVPSY at home, you all have plane's and train's to catch, so, out you go!" Kurt said prompting everybody out.
"Okay, by the way, best Hudmel birthday party so far," Puck said.
Kurt raised an eyebrow "Hudmel? Birthday party? You didn't even say "Happy Birthday" to Finn or I."
"Yes, Hummel and Hudson, you and Finn are the Hudmel brothers. And Happy Birthday Dolphin!" Brittany said.
"Well there's another word we can add. And thank you Britt," Kurt said.
"Add to what?" Santana asked.
"Blaine and my language, Klainese," Kurt said.
"Okay Dolphin," Britt said and then they all left.
"Finally! I'm going back to bed." Kurt said and saw that Blaine was already asleep on the couch.
Kurt sighed and said, "Good night Harry freaking Potter." as he kissed Blaine on the forehead and went to bed.