"Baby's comin' any day now." Lori said, smiling happily down at her balloon shaped belly.
The corners of my lips tugged upwards into a small smile. "I can't wait to meet baby Grimes. Do you think it's gonna be a boy or girl?" I asked, watching as she absentmindedly rubbed her stomach.
"I think girl. I have a feeling, a pretty good one." She beamed at me. There was no talk of what we do when the time came to have the baby. Just normal, happy baby talk although I knew Lori was afraid of what would happen once she went into labor.
"Is this right, Charlie?" Carl asked, pushing an eraser smudged piece of paper towards me.
I pulled it towards me, my eyes quickly skimming over his cramped lettering. I finally nodded, giving him a grin. "A+. Pretty soon you're gonna be teaching me." I joked, reaching across the table to ruffle his hair.
A caught a moving figure out of the corner of my eye and glanced up to see Daryl briskly making his way through the common area and towards the outside door. I watched him go, my eyes linger after his retreating back. He didn't even spare me one single glance. I felt a sinking feeling return to the pit of my stomach. At this point, I didn't think he'd ever look at me again.
I quickly glanced away, hoping no one had yet noticed the pitiful way I had been looking at him and had been for the past week. It had felt more like a month, though. The way Daryl had started avoiding me was like a slap in the face. Especially when I remembered the heat of his mouth on mine. I don't know why he was trying so hard to avoid me. Maybe he was punishing himself for something. He was punishing me too, though. It felt like we were back to square one, only worse because now the hunter wouldn't even talk to me, let alone look at me. It had been hard to ignore the way he averted his eyes when I walked into a room, or how he just left the room altogether. Any attempt I had made at talking to him, he brushed off with some easy excuse, walking away and leaving me in his dust.
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. "I think I'll go see how Herschel is. You did a good job today, bud." I smiled at Carl. I said good-bye to Lori as well before standing up from the table and heading towards the cells. I veered off into the first one and felt a swell of happiness to see Herschel sitting up in bed, looking better than he had in days. The color had returned to his cheeks and there was even the faintest hint of a smile on his lips.
"You look good. How do you feel?" I asked, leaning against the doorway.
He shrugged his shoulders while Maggie adjusted the bandage on his leg. "Pretty good for a guy who just got his leg hacked off." He answered lightly. "Beth and Maggie were thinking I could even make it outside today. Carl found me these crutches in that medical wing." He said, nodding towards the crutches that leant against the wall.
"That's amazing, Herschel. I think I speak for everyone when I say we're incredibly glad you're still here." I said, receiving an appreciative smile from the older man, as well as one from Maggie.
"Ready to try and walk?" Beth asked happily, bounding into the room. Her spirits had been higher than ever since Herschel's miraculous recovery. It was almost contagious. I backed out of the room, giving them space to maneuver him off the bed and onto the crutches.
I hadn't realized I had just barely missed hitting Daryl as I left the room. Our shoulders brushed as he filed past me, completely unfazed by this. I felt a sudden stab of annoyance. "Daryl!" I called after him before jogging to catch up with him.
He seemed to quicken his pace. "Not now, Charlie." He said over his shoulder. Once again, the harshness of his tone stopped me dead in my tracks. I wondered why I was even trying.
"Everything okay with you two?" Carol asked, coming up behind me.
I shook my head. "Has it really ever been okay?" I turned and headed back the way I came, suddenly feeling eager to put as much distance as I could between us.
"Honey, what happened?" The older woman asked gently. When I shook my head again she took me by the elbow, steering me into the cell she had been staying in. I didn't argue, instead dropping down onto the tiny metal cot and burying my face in my hands.
"He won't even look at me." I mumbled quietly.
The bed creaked as Carol sat down next to me, rubbing my back. "Did you get into some kind of fight?"
I finally uncovered my face, staring at the blank wall in front of me. "I guess. I don't know. I took your advice and tried talking to him. For just a second he opened up, but right away shut back down. It was awful. I don't think I ever wanna try again." I admitted. I left out the part about how he kissed me, wanting to keep that little piece to myself. No one else needed to know. It was perfect, untarnished memory and I wanted to keep it safe.
"Oh, Charlie. I'm so sorry." She sighed. "Maybe he'll come around. It probably just scared him, letting himself feel that vulnerable for even just a few seconds."
"I don't know. I just feel horrible. Worse than I did before when I first got to the farm. I'd rather go back to the bickering and arguing than not talk at all." I admitted.
"He has to come around. You both are stuck here together. I doubt he really wants to ignore you forever." Carol began quietly. "He cares about you and has proved that time and time again. Just give him some space. You'll see."
I had no idea if she was right or not, but her kind words gave me a little bit of comfort at least for the moment. "Thanks, Carol." I finally said, giving her a small smile.
She nodded, giving me a tiny squeeze before standing up and pulling me to my feet. "Come on, let's go watch Herschel walk."
We made our way through the empty cellblock to join the others outside. Sure enough, Herschel was out hobbling around on his crutches. The others looked on happily, clearly glad to see him out and about instead of clinging to life in a prison cell bed.
"We'll get you a fake leg and pretty soon you'll be runnin' marathons!" Maggie grinned, watching her father blink in the bright sunlight, Beth at his side.
My smile suddenly faded. I heard the familiar horrible sounds before I saw them. Before I could cry out any sort of warning, walkers were streaming into the yard. They must have torn a hole through the fence somehow.
"Go! Get back inside!" I shouted, pushing Maggie towards Lori and Carl. I watched them disappear inside the prison, noticing Beth and Herschel had locked themselves in one of the fenced in entryways. I quickly turned, rushing to join the fight.
Daryl was suddenly blocking my path. "Get inside the prison. Now!" He yelled over the chaos.
I was momentarily surprised at the fact that he was even speaking to me, but my anger quickly overshadowed that. "What? Hell no! You can't ignore me for a week and then suddenly give me orders!" I said coldly.
I tried to side step around him to where Rick was firing off rounds but he shoved me back. "Charlie, god damn it, for just once do what I fuckin' say! Go inside and help Lori! I don't want you out here!" His said forcefully, his eyes pleading with me.
"Someone cut the fence!" Glenn was yelling over the noise.
Suddenly, the shrill sound of an alarm sounded over the prison speakers. I covered my ears, realizing with horror two things; that the sound would draw in walkers for miles and that someone else was in the prison with us.
"We ain't alone here! Whoever it is must have started the back-up generators!" Rick hollered, voicing my exact thoughts.
I looked back at Daryl and gave him a nod, knowing that now wasn't the time to argue. It didn't stop me, though, from wondering what the hell his deal was. If he kept pushing and pulling me in different directions like this, my head would be spinning so fast I wouldn't be able to see straight. I pushed the thoughts aside as I rushed inside the prison. The cellblock was empty and I realized they must have disappeared into the corridors in an attempt to hide. I swallowed back my fear of what was back there and rushed in after them.
"Lori! Carl!" I called, blindly running through the shadowy halls. I stumbled over the remains of a decaying corpse, spilling onto the concrete floor. A hand grasped my arm and I let out a terrified scream expecting to look up into the face of a walker. Instead, I saw Maggie and breathed a giant sigh of relief. "Thank Jesus!" I cried as she helped me to my feet.
"Walkers are everywhere! There's nowhere to go!" She said, sounding panicky. "We've been hiding in the boiler room." She pulled my inside a doorway and slammed the metal door shut behind us. Her eyes swept my face and couldn't ignore the horrified expression in her eyes. "Lori is in labor. I don't know what to do!" She whispered, her voice shaking.
I felt my eyes widen and pushed past her. I walked further into the room to find Lori sprawled on her back, Carl hovering over her. They both glanced up as I approached, looking relieved to see me. This made me feel both better and worse at the same time because even though I was there, I still had no idea what to do.
"She tried pushing, but she's hemorrhaging too badly. She wants me to cut her open." Maggie said as I knelt down at Lori's side and grasped her hand.
"You've got to, Maggie. I'll lose the baby." She said tearfully. "Please. Save my baby." She looked between us, her eyes pleading desperately. I could hear Carl sniffling and avoided looking at him, knowing seeing his face would just break me down completely.
"Okay, okay. I'll do it." I said hurriedly.
"Thank you, Charlie. Thank you." Lori said, her voice thick with tears. I let go of her hand as Carl fell to her side. I looked away for a moment, allowing them to have a chance to say good-bye. I glanced behind me at Maggie to see tears were full on streaming down her face as well. God, was this really happening? Was I really about to deliver a baby?
"Okay, Charlie. I'm ready now." Lori's voice drew me back in.
I looked back at her, feeling the familiar tightening in my throat as I fought the urge to cry. I smoothed back her hair and nodded. There were a thousand things I wanted to say to her right now, but I knew there wasn't enough time. Mostly, I wanted to thank her for showing me so much kindness. She was growing fainter with every passing second, though. I unsheathed my knife, cleaning off as best I could on my shirt. I swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before placing the tip of the blade to her ripe belly. Her screams of pain almost made me stop, but I knew I couldn't now. I needed to get the baby out. The horrible sounds subsided almost as quickly as they began as she began to bleed out. The next second, I was pulling a crying, writhing baby out and cradling it in my arms. I cut the cord as Maggie handed me her jacket to wrap the baby in. I held its tiny, warm body close to my chest as its small cries filled the room. I looked down to see it was a girl, with a perfect mop of untidy dark hair, its pink face scrunched up as it continued to wails.
"It's a girl." I said, a smile flitting across my lips. I exchanged the happy look with Maggie, but it quickly vanished as I looked back at Lori, bleeding out on the concrete floor. Carl stood over here, his gun in his hand. He looked up at me. The tears had stopped, but the hardened expression in their place set me on edge.
"I have to. If we leave her here, she'll turned." He said quietly.
I nodded, turning my back on him to give him some privacy. Maggie and I stood near the door, waiting. I cringed as a gunshot echoed loudly through the room. A second later, Carl was brushing past us on his way out of the room. He led the way back to the cellblock, taking out half a dozen walkers on his way. I watched him, feeling as if I was in a dream. I didn't know what this would do to him, but I knew it couldn't be good. No child should have to watch their own mother die like that. No child should have to pull the trigger to make sure their mother stayed dead. My heart broke as I thought about Lori lying there, never even having the chance to hold her baby or hear her daughter's cries.
The sounds of the alarm had stopped, which I knew meant the others had found whoever was responsible and taken care of it. It gave me only a small feeling of relief, dreading the moment when the others would have to be told about Lori's passing. We finally made it to our cellblock and emerged from the prison and into the bright sunlight of the afternoon. It didn't seem right, for it to be such a beautiful day while such horrible things were happening.
The baby girl was still crying in my arms as I held her close, carefully making my way back out into the yard. I saw Beth and Herschel first. Maggie let out a cry of happiness, running to them. I watched the three of them embrace before my eyes continued to search the yard. Fallen walkers were strewn everywhere, but it seemed quiet aside from the crying coming from the bundle in my arms. I saw Rick before he saw me and took a few steps towards him. He finally met my gaze, a look of awe dawning on his face as he realized what I was holding. He made a move to meet me, but froze. He began to look around wildly and I bit my bottom lip, trying desperately to hold back the tears because I knew he wouldn't find what he was looking for. When he finally looked back at me, I wished more than anything I could remedy the desperation in his eyes. Instead, all I could do was shake my head as the tears finally broke through and streamed freely down my cheeks.
"No." The word was a broken whisper as it left his lips. "No!" He cried louder. He ran his hands through his hair, pacing the yard. I could see the sobs wracking his body as he came to terms with what had happened to his wife. It was unbearable, watching the man I knew as a strong leader break down so completely right in front of me. He fell to his knees and I forced my eyes away, unable to watch any longer as he self-destructed. I could have sworn I felt his pain. It radiated off of every inch of him, latching on to everyone who stood too close. He had lost his other half. He had lost a piece of himself.
"Here, let me." I heard Beth's quiet voice at my side. I mechanically handed off the baby to her, realizing I was shaking, my hands and entire front caked with the redness of blood. Lori's blood. I felt a pair of eyes on me and looked up to see Daryl watching me. His eyes bore into mine, the message behind them unreadable but there all the same. I averted my gaze to my dirty, tattered sneakers. "Why don't you go get cleaned up, Charlie?" The younger girl said again. I nodded numbly, meeting Daryl's eyes one last time before my feet led me back into the prison that I was slowly beginning to see as less and less of safe house with each passing day.