Chapter 38 - Careful

Kirk sat in the window seat of his dorm room, feet propped up on the desk. He was still loose from a long, easy run. The door chimed and Spock stepped inside. His posture and expression were casually neutral.

"How was the Lexington?"

"Fascinating."

Spock stopped beside the desk. The inside edges of his brows were pulled together. "Captain Sulu requested that I inform you that you must learn to fence."

"What kind?"

"It was not specified."

Kirk scratched his ear. "Okay. Anything else?"

Spock stared thoughtfully out through the dimmed glass. "He apparently utilizes a psychic plant to judge the moral standing of beings."

Kirk pushed his shoulders back and held in a smile. "Spock, I think you got taken for a ride."

"I assume that is a turn of speech, since you are aware the Lexington remained in orbit."

"Yes." Kirk looked him over. "Why don't you have a seat?"

Spock declined to sit. "You will be pleased to learn that Captain Sulu did state that he would drop further inquiry into your actions. But I may have made a miscalcuation otherwise."

Kirk put his padd aside and sat forward. "You did really well in that case. What miscalculation was that?"

"I informed him about the events at Starfleet Intelligence regarding my application approval for Starfleet Academy. And I expect he is going to pursue that."

"Hm. Not a bad tactic, giving him someone else to go after."

"It was not intentional. And I feel it puts you additionally at risk."

Kirk stretched his upper back. "I'll be out of reach before anything comes of it. Have a seat. We need to talk."

Spock complied this time, took the chair beside the desk, rested his long hands in his lap. Kirk looked him over, memorized him there with the lines of his uniform accenting the triangular shape of his shoulders, his narrow hips.

"I'm requesting duty in the Lohanna Sector," Kirk said. "You know where or what that is?"

"No."

"It is the last colony area that is actively in dispute. About ten marginal class-M colony worlds in four relatively close systems. Given the vagaries of space, no assignment is safe, but this one is probably less safe than average. But I feel it's what I need to do."

Spock's head twitched to the side. "You were concerned that I would object?"

"I didn't know what you were going to do."

"Is this what you would have chosen if we did not know each other?"

Kirk's throat felt full. "Yes."

Spock nodded. "Then it seems the logical assignment for you to request."

Kirk smiled painfully. "It's almost harder with you understanding so well."

"I wish you to be pleased with your position."

"In terms of us." Kirk pointed his thumb back and forth between them. "It lets me move up faster. I need to make it to full commander in two years. I think I can comfortably do that, especially with this assignment. That gives me three years and some to make it to captain. Which is going to be tough, but I'm going to try."

Spock didn't move. Kirk almost asked for feedback.

Kirk said, "If you are really going to Vulcan for a year at the end of this term, that almost lines up with a standard 8 month assignment plus two extensions, which are usually granted automatically. I can be back here on earth for a month or so before getting another assignment. Hopefully command of a vessel. Or maybe, if I think I can bear it, first officer on something large.

"I'm going to have to be Starfleet's darling at the moment you graduate. So I can personally request you. Otherwise it could be three years before you can request a move to the same ship as me."

Spock said, "And you need to learn fencing."

Kirk tipped his head to the side. "I do?"

"Captain Sulu intends to duel for me."

Kirk laughed, rubbed his shoulder. "I didn't have a good read on that man, at all."

Spock's brow furrowed. "I wonder now why he did not do the logical thing and invite you to the Lexington and introduce you to Gladys."

Kirk worried he was being trolled indirectly through Spock's earnest naïveté. "And Gladys is?"

"Hypermongus Kitarius. She must be the only known specimen as there is only one entry in the Federation databanks with no known planetary origin." Spock flinched as if in memory. "When she screeches, it is quite painful."

Kirk tried not to smile. "Did you enjoy the tour otherwise?"

"Yes. It was highly informative. The bridge crew remembered me, with mixed emotion."

"Yeah, I bet. You are a stark reminder of poor decisions that led to a hull breach. No one wants to be reminded of that. They'd have had the same reaction to me. Don't take it personally."

"I did not."

Kirk memorized him again. Felt warmth for his earnest innocence. "Think you'd like being assigned to a ship like that?"

Spock hesitated, nodded.

Kirk smiled. "We'll see what we can do."

Spock raised his brows almost to his bangs. "Captain Sulu at thirty nine was young to be given such a command."

" . . . during wartime, when it's easier to get pushed up rapidly." Kirk lifted his chin. "Never know until you try, Spock."

Spock stood, pushed in his chair. "I have project meetings I must depart for."

"I was about to ask about that."

"I will return around twenty-two hundred if you wish."

"I do wish. What's tomorrow look like?"

"My father requests that I dine with him at noon. And Zienn is willing to attempt a tutoring session with me in the afternoon. Lunch with my father will be alone. I believe he wants to make this a regular activity."

Kirk smiled. "Good to hear."

Spock stepped toward the door, stopped and turned. "When will you be issued official orders?"

"Within the week. And transport arrangements will likely be within two weeks of that."

Spock nodded. Looked ready to say more, but nodded again and departed.

Kirk was dozing when the door chimed, despite his determination to stay awake. He refused to believe one late night was enough to do this to him. He could not be that old yet. The padd slid off his lap and flickered on, the only light in the room, showing the sector reports he'd been reading when he'd nodded off. He called for the door to unseal and Spock stepped inside.

Kirk rubbed his eyes. The lights came up to low dim at the movement.

"Studying?" Spock asked with what Kirk was certain was a hint of a tease.

"Yeah. Can't learn too much. Never know what obscure knowledge you can put to use in the field." He grunted, pushed off the window seat. "I hope you're ready to sleep because I am."

Kirk stripped off his shirt and crawled into his bed in his workout shorts. Spock stripped completely and joined him. The lights dimmed gradually.

Kirk rubbed Spock's smooth, bare back. He pulled the covers up better. "Don't want a robe for warmth?"

Spock's leg shifted over Kirk's, his body pressed closer so their chests were in contact. "I expected that we would be intimate."

Kirk opened his mouth, closed it again.

Spock lifted his head. Kirk imagined his right brow was up.

"James?"

Kirk made a sound of annoyance, shook his head. "Something your father said is bothering me."

There was a pause in the darkness. "Do you mean when he stated that he would not replace you with anyone else in my life?"

Kirk lifted his head. "How'd you hear that?"

Spock put his head down again, harder than necessary. "Captain Sulu."

"That man is downright dangerous. How'd I not see that?" Kirk rolled his eyes. "He tell you what Sarek said before that?"

"No."

"Good thing your father wasn't on the truthteller, that's all I can say. He stated that he believed you were an adult, but it was an obvious lie."

"It is true that I am very young relative to my lifespan."

Kirk stared at the ceiling. His eyes had adapted enough to see the light sifting through the dimmed window. "Maybe." Kirk touched Spock on the shoulder, stroked lightly. "He told me once that you deserved to have your status changed with Starfleet, but I wonder if that was just his way of making sure his family was none of 'Fleet's concern. Spock . . . Look, I feel more conflicted than I should and I have to sort that out or I'm acting irresponsibly. It's not that I haven't had the opportunity to, but nevertheless. And maybe it's just silly to need to rethink things after how close we've been for this long-"

Spock's mouth took hold of Kirk's. Kirk kissed him back, let his shoulders fall lax, let Spock's rough hot tongue trace the inside of his teeth. Kirk huffed when he was released. Spock rested his head beside his again. Kirk shifted his shoulders to get comfortable.

"I'm sorry," Kirk said. "If it seems like I'm punishing you."

"I revoke my implied objection, and apologize for making it."

Kirk sniffled into the darkness, pulled in the scent of Spock's neck. "You do?"

"Yes. I understand better what you are trying not to be."

Kirk frowned. Almost growled. "Captain Sulu again?"

"Yes."

Kirk shook his head faintly. He put together more coherent words. "Your father's opinion is now far more important to me. Because your father is more important to me." Kirk ran his fingertips down the soft flesh on the back of Spock's upper arm. "I'm glad you're going to get some time away from me. You need some room to grow."

"I am not pleased by this prospect," Spock said into Kirk's ear.

"You were an amazing being when we met. I don't want to influence you too much." He kept stroking Spock's arm. "We'll talk often until the end of the term when I'm off duty. Then you'll be wrapped up in all things high priest. It won't be that long."

Silence fell for a time.

"You promise?" Spock asked.

"Yes. I promise."

Spock stepped into the embassy tea room. The table was set with the usual mixture of woven glass mats in pale greens and rough stoneware in ochre and tan, but no one was present. He was eight minutes early, a habit he had gained at the Academy to ensure he could find a seat that was not beside or in front of someone who physically reacted to him.

Spock stood before the heavily framed windows and looked out the diamond shaped panes into the light well. The light felt stingy today, a dull silver. He heard his father approach and enter, but did not turn until Sarek had reached the table.

Spock clasped his hands before him. "Thank you for everything, Father. I know you considered it your duty, but I still have need of speaking."

Sarek nodded with enough formality Spock knew he was expected to move on from expressing more gratitude.

Sarek took a seat and Spock followed his lead. Sarek paged the staff and soup was brought in, ioreek soup today.

"Your mother finds the scent foul, so it is logical to have it in her absence."

The oily, sharply bitter, vaguely tomatoey scent of it being ladled made Spock feel famished.

"I am curious about the content of your courses since we last spoke," Sarek said.

Spock tasted the soup, put his spoon down again with discipline. "I completed a rather difficult but illuminating assignment in the advanced course. To design a ship in four days."

"Have you managed to gain enough background knowledge to progress adequately?"

"That remains undetermined. I do not believe I am the weakest student and that was my primary concern."

"Your other classes? Were you challenged this week?"

Spock sat back. "Too much so in Galactic Cultures."

Sarek's brow went up, then his face was forced neutral again. "Given your upbringing, exposed to travel off planet as you were, I am curious how this is difficult for you."

"This week's class, we covered Kolpra's Advancement of Belief and Rule-Making Metric." Spock picked up his spoon again, ate rather than further admit weakness.

"I have never heard of that," Sarek said.

"I was given sample contact reports and instructed to apply various assessments and metrics that we have learned, including that one. I am not skilled at this task and application of this most recent model was the most fraught with error of the set, according to the autograder."

"I see. I admit the course title led me to expect exposure to cultures, not quantification of them. But lack of skill at this stage is no matter if you can improve."

Spock put his spoon down again. "The course does include cultural overviews, an attempt to communicate the vast range of cultural adaptations one might encounter. I have no difficulty comprehending those materials. But I have no idea how to improve my ability to assess and quantify based on the provided metrics. My attempts to rethink the process have resulted in worse scores. And the assistance built into the learning system to further illuminate the cultural measures are rather humanly biased."

Sarek seemed to relax, reached for the salted herbs and sprinkled them on his soup. "That further supports my theory that Starfleet's measures of culture are dismayingly human centric." He lifted his spoon. "Would you accept some assistance?"

"I would."

"T'Gowen, who uses an office here at the embassy part of the year, is what humans would label an anthropologist. She may be able cast these metrics into a Vulcan mentality for you. At least enough to let you improve on your current performance."

"I do not wish to misuse her time," Spock said.

Sarek's brows came down in dismay for the first time during the meal. His face grew hard. "You truly are concerned thusly?"

Spock put his hands in his lap. "I seem to have misspoken, Father."

"Not if that is your logical conclusion. You have not misspoken."

Sarek looked Spock over, then his gaze faded inward. "It is not a misuse of an expert's time to teach. Knowledge is the backbone of our people and it must be passed on." Sarek turned his head as if hoping for Spock to illuminate his logic.

Spock did not want to explain himself and diverge their discussion into his own limitations.

"I stand corrected, Father. I will consult her."

Sarek stiffened. It was a subtle reaction, but unmistakable. He was leaving himself vulnerable and open again, as he had last time. Spock was not entirely comfortable with his father in this mode.

Spock said, "Captain Sulu followed up yesterday, ordered me to the Lexington."

"You are changing the topic." This wasn't a criticism. It was a gentle chide.

Spock stared at his half eaten bowl.

Sarek said, "I am going to risk guessing with insufficient data. You are pleased to be at Starfleet Academy in large part because you are highly curious and eager to learn and no one there is impatient with you. Likely the opposite."

Spock thought it unnecessary to nod, but did so anyway.

Sarek began eating again. "T'Gowen may be impatient with you. I do not know. Her interactions with me are no precedent. Impatient or not, you will certainly not be wasting her time." The last was spoken forcefully.

Spock nodded again, picked up his spoon.

The empty soup bowls were taken away and baked lyceep sticks came out, neatly parallel on the plate, stuck in place with dabs of mashed potatoes. They were typically snacks for Vulcan children, but on earth they became refined, were acceptable to serve to adults, who were pleased with the reminder of home.

Spock had never really liked them on Vulcan. They tasted too much of the sandy stone used to grind the grain. These were made with earth semolina flour and were much better.

"And regarding Captain Sulu?" Sarek finally asked.

"Everything is settled," Spock said.

"You must have handled the interview well."

"Too well."

"Is that possible?"

"He wants to assign me to his ship when I have completed my studies." Spock couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice.

Sarek's dubious left brow twitched. "Such an assignment would not please you?"

"I have conflicting thoughts. I would be pleased with that class of ship. It affords the greatest opportunities for equipment and exploration. But there is the remote chance I can serve under James, and Captain Sulu is a rather unusual human."

"All starship captains are, in my experience."

"I see. I suppose that is reassuring," Spock said.

"A combination of highly driven, charismatic, and organized with a few carefully guarded personal quirks. Probably harmless quirks, but one is never quite convinced of this and said captain knows that."

"That is an accurate description of Captain Sulu."

The baked sticks were gone. Sarek did not signal for the tea. He clasped his hands before himself.

"Zuram had a message relayed to me through a mutual acquaintance."

Spock looked up. His father sounded unexpectedly relaxed and factual for such a topic.

Sarek said, "He wanted to know if Sybok was really dead."

"Did you reply?"

"I used my diplomatic authority to speak to him over subspace. I told him what transpired. He was inordinately pleased that it was the human commander he had faced in battle that had ended Sybok. He praised Kirk for being logical and fair, despite forces encouraging otherwise, and was pleased to learn he was deadly and strong in this manner. Those were his words."

"If I may observe, Father. You seem unperturbed by this topic."

"I rendered your brother dead in my mind a long time ago."

Spock nodded, kept his head down.

"I have put in a request to the Vulcan Council to have Zuram and his crew removed from Tantalus Colony. I had a disturbing sense speaking with Zuram that they were not being treated well."

"Did he complain about his treatment?"

"No, it was in fact the way he seemed frightened of complaining that concerned me." Sarek shook his head. "Even I am becoming contaminated with the actionable validity of theories generated from insufficient information." He wore a soft expression as he said this.

Spock raised a brow. "James uses that very successfully."

"I prefer you not learn that from him. If you would."

"It is against my nature."

"I am pleased to hear that."

Sarek signaled for the tea and berries.