Five Years Later
Chapter 38
Hannah and Polly had had an equally productive day. She helped Polly clean house, or as much as she could. Hannah occupied Gabby too, and eventually got her to go to sleep, but also managed to rock herself to sleep. When Mike walked in, Polly shushed him and pointed towards the living room. Hannah was laid back in the recliner with Gabby sleeping on her chest. Gabby had a firm grasp on Hannah's t-shirt and wouldn't let go for dear life. It was a sweet picture. They sit down in the kitchen and started talking quietly so not to disturb the two sleeping girls.
"Sorry it took so long. Did a little more at Grace's apartment then I planned, then talked to Ryan for a bit. I ended up taking Grace some lunch and ate with her."
"Hannah didn't cause me any problems. She helped clean and occupied Gabby. I do think she was missing you a bit."
"I love getting to spend so much time with her. I hate that she got hurt but I think we both needed this. She was nine, barely, when I left. She's a completely different person. I love her, but I think I was still loving the nine year old Hannah, and I have to learn to love the fourteen year old Hannah. I'm not sure that makes any sense."
"It does. As long as she knows that you love her regardless, you're fine. She also has to get to know you too. Her memories are a bit dimmed I'm afraid."
"Yeah. She was so angry when I showed up. It hurt."
"She feels horribly about it too. I think that is your block with her. She feels horribly for how she treated you, how she acted and isn't sure how you could ever love her or forgive her. And you're still a bit hurt by her actions."
"I do love her."
"Mike, I have no doubt that you love her, but you are still caught up in the nine year old version. Not that one in there. You need this time with her. I think you've already figured out, she's pretty amazing. And maybe you have forgiven her, but you're still hurt. Maybe not so much by her as the fact that you aren't their hero anymore."
"Her and Grace's? Yeah. They were both daddy's girls. And I'm no one's hero."
"Well you are to a lot of people and even to them still to a point."
"I have a daughter who has lost a huge part of her childhood and honestly can survive just fine without me. She doesn't need me. Another daughter who I barely even know anymore and a son who barely knows me."
"Yeah, all of the above is true, but you also have three kids that absolutely adore you. Plus mine think a lot of you. As far as Grace not needing you? Who did she ask to fix her apartment? Technically it is Maggie and Alec's responsibility. She asked you. If she didn't need you or want you, she would have simply asked them. You are making positive strides with Hannah too. You have no idea how much she is looking forward to you and her going to that event Saturday. And Matty? He's six. It isn't rocket science. Coaching his ball team, taking him fishing, tucking him in every night all that is important. Because as you're figuring him out, he's doing the same with you."
"I hadn't really thought why she asked me to fix that drywall. She asked and I did it. As far as the event is concerned, I'm going to be way out of my depth on that one, but I am looking forward to it too."
"I do have one thing to ask."
"What's that?"
"Please shave."
"You don't like this look?"
"Not particularly. And I think it's freaking Gabby out."
"Yeah, she drew back when I kissed her this morning."
"She might decide she doesn't like you anymore."
"As long as her mom doesn't decide that, I'm good."
"Many more days without a razor and I might change my mind. Hannah did have me looking at wedding dresses this morning. That one in there is going to cost you a fortune when she gets married."
"That doesn't surprise me. What'd you pick out? I don't have to wear a tux do I?"
"Nah. What I have in mind is very informal. Probably just a pair of khakis and a shirt. Maybe a suit coat. Not even a tie."
"What about you?"
"You're not getting that out of me. I promise you, you'll like it. I'm not doing the fancy veil and high heels though. And it isn't white. After two kids, I think white is out. More of a cream color."
"I wouldn't care if you wore polka dots, as long as you're next to me. And I don't know how you feel about writing vows, but it's a no go for me. I would foul that up for sure, and would ruin our wedding night I'm sure."
"I wouldn't want that."
"Yeah, me either. We really need to set a date in stone."
"Monday we have an appointment with Pastor John at eleven am. He is truly condensing things because he said we could come back Friday for the second appointment. After that it's just a matter of getting the marriage license and having all the right people in the right place at the right time."
"So, two weeks then?"
"Two weeks from this Saturday?"
"Sounds like a good day to me. Nothing huge or formal. Very low key. The kids, Maggie, Alec and Ryan. Whoever you want to invite. You mentioned a best friend?"
"Yeah, I'll make him plan on coming. Need a best man. I think the world of Alec and Ryan but…"
"Oh, I get it. Don't worry. Maggie was my matron of honor when Paul and I got married. I love Grace but I'm thinking of asking Hannah. I just don't want to hurt Grace in the process."
"I can talk to her."
"No. It needs to come from me. I think if Hannah feels truly involved with everything, she will be okay. I do think you need to give Grace your wedding band though. From Christine.
"For Ryan?"
"Yeah. Do you have any jewelry of Christine's?"
"I have a box of her stuff from Norfolk. I think her jewelry box is in there. I haven't gone through it. No idea what happened to her wedding band and engagement ring. She might have been cremated with them."
"Have you asked Grace?"
"I hadn't thought of it honestly. It would seem weird to ask her now."
"I was thinking if she had them, it might not hurt to save them for Matty. Was there any other special piece of jewelry that might be significant to Hannah?"
"Christine never wore much jewelry. Just her engagement ring and wedding band and earrings. She had three pairs that she alternated between. When the kids were born, I got her a pair of earrings each time. Their birthstone. I think they call them 'push gifts?' I'm not sure if they would be in the jewelry box. I guess I could give Hannah the pair I got Christine when she was born."
"First of all, that's a very sweet gesture and I think both girls would like to get them. If they are in that box, go ahead and give Hannah's to her and wait for a while where Grace is concerned."
"Makes sense. There might be some other stuff in there. Christine just wasn't wild about stuff for herself. Aside from the perfume, she only wanted me to get stuff for the kids or the house. Never for her."
"You think Hannah is so much like her but I actually see you more in Hannah. Grace sounds like her mom."
"Hannah has my more negative attributes. Temper, impatience, stubbornness."
"Well I also see a lot of compassion, understanding, and loyalty. All attributes you have. Christine may have had them too but I see them with you."
"She did. I think we can both agree that Hannah is a spectacular person. Her mom and Grace did a great job with her."
"Oh, I think you played a part in it."
"I was barely ever around. I plan on making up for that now if I can. So back to the wedding planning. We have the when but we need the where?"
"The dock at your house? It's peaceful."
"Works for me. What about the reception? Just at my house?"
"Simple food and a small cake? Your house sounds good."
"Works for me. Wedding night? I think we both can agree we don't want to be away from the kids that long or go that far away."
"There's a nice hotel in Springfield. I can get reservations for us. And no, I don't want to be gone that long. I know it's stupid but I've never left Gabby overnight. Not sure how she'll handle it or how I'll cope."
"I wondered about that. It's not stupid."
"It doesn't bother you to not have a honeymoon?"
"Honeymoons are great when you're in your twenties but in your thirties and forties? When you have kids who have needs? I would be worried sick the entire time."
"It's just one night though."
"One night is enough. It's just so we can have some privacy. If you don't want to go, it's perfectly fine. I do understand."
"It's our wedding night. It's a night that's supposed to just be you and me. We can schedule the wedding for like two. They never take long. An hour or so for a reception. Maybe leave here by five, putting us there about six. Check out will be at eleven am. We'll be gone less than twenty four hours. I'll see if Maggie will keep Gabby that night. Maybe see if Grace can stay at your place and watch Max and Matty? Hannah doesn't need a babysitter but I wouldn't want her to be alone either."
"Or see if Hannah can go with Gabby? I know she loves Maggie but it might help if Hannah is there since they seem to love one another. Also might make me feel better where Hannah is concerned, not that Grace isn't capable of handling her, she will just be a couple weeks out of a major surgery."
"Yeah, makes sense. I'm sure they won't mind. I have already told the church board that I would be moving out of the parsonage. We hadn't discussed it but it makes sense."
"That's what I had planned. They don't question how fast we're moving?"
"Surprisingly, no. It does help that Alec is on the board though. He has a lot of sway."
"That makes me feel better. I was worried about it. You and I have been kind of unorthodox but I love it."
"Me too. I think the girls are waking up."
"Well, Gabby is. Hannah is still sleeping but as soon as Gabby is picked up, she will be too."
Mike walked over and very gently picked Gabby up. As he suspected, Hannah woke up and looked disoriented. He handed Gabby over to Polly and knelt down next to Hannah while she got her bearings. She seemed to be in a bit of pain.
"You okay, sweetie?"
"Yeah, just…ouch!" She had tried to sit up and moved wrong. Mike moved in front of her and grabbed a throw pillow from the couch to put some pressure on her abdomen. Waking up was sometimes rough on both her and Mike. Her pain level would be through the roof and it hurt Mike to see her like that. It only lasted a couple minutes, thankfully. Otherwise, Hannah had a high pain threshold.
"It's alright. I'm going to sit this chair up okay? It might help." She nodded at him and he put the foot stool down, but left the pillow on her abdomen. She leaned forward and he started rubbing her back gently. Within about three minutes, she was perking up and Mike helped her stand up. As soon as she was in a full standing position, she pulled Mike into a huge hug. It was unexpected but always welcome.
"I really love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, baby."
Mike wasn't sure what the sudden display of affection was about but he didn't mind standing there and holding her for a couple minutes. He might still be struggling a bit with Hannah, but he did absolutely adore her. She was an amazing person. He finally pulled away but kissed her on the forehead. She immediately started laughing at him.
"Daddy, you have got to shave. That's horrible."
"I will tonight. I was thinking about growing a beard but everyone keeps telling me not to. I'm not in the Navy anymore so I don't have to keep up regulations. What are we doing tomorrow?
"Doctor, ring, maybe lunch? Please?"
"Well, yeah, I am kind of obligated to feed you! I meant for fun?"
"Bowling is out. Maybe you can just pick something you think that I'll like to do?"
"Uh oh. I have no idea."
"Think about it! I can't hardly wait to get to spend some time with you. Every time we've planned something, there's an accident or attack. Can we just wrap everyone in bubble wrap until Saturday night?"
Mike nodded at her and she headed for the bathroom. He was beginning to get nervous about their time together and was half tempted to ask Polly to come along. But Hannah wanted one on one time, desperately. He had no idea what he was going to do for fun with her. Had he really spent that little time with her before the Red Flu that he would have no idea what she liked? Bowling had always been what he and Christine had done with her and was mostly instigated by Christine and Hannah. Grace and he frequently went horseback riding together, and Lucas and him would go fishing and camping. But Hannah? He was at a total loss. It made him feel like a horrible father. He remembered grumbling to Christine about even going bowling with Hannah. He had to find something to do with her that would be something uniquely just theirs. Hannah, Polly and Gabby came out and Mike knew it was past time to leave. He hugged and kissed both of them, which made Gabby slap his face away. She definitely didn't like the almost beard he had going and Polly even made a funny face. He would be shaving that night for sure.