AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Thanks to the wonderful reviewers of ch. 37: Lazy Leggy Poo, flamingmarsh, xCubicZirconia, theshadowcat, plenoptic, BluebirdSoaring, GBscientist, TransFlashbacks, CuteKittten, Xerios, Violetlight, Saya Moonshadow, Lecidre, Flameshield, Prime Revolver, Dragowolf, Hearts of Eternity, and Kesera.

All review responses for chapter 37 have been moved to 'RESPONSES TO REVIEWS' on my biopage. I cannot thank you all enough!

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Disclaimer: See ch. 37

Huge thanks goes to Karategal, Lady Tecuma, Hearts of Eternity, grlwdgrntrk, Violetlight, and Phoenix13 for letting me use their ideas and/or terminology. The name, Nightfire, belongs to Lady Tecuma. The characters are different in each of our stories, but the name is hers.

This chapter is back in the present. Regular print is present time. Italics are a flashback.

Enjoy!

Night Fire

Chapter 38

Wishful Thinking

by Litahatchee

Ratchet shook himself to clear his CPU of the waking memory recalls. Not only did his CPU interface with Chromia trigger recalls within her CPU, but in his as well. The memories were vivid, saddening, but he couldn't let that distract him right now. Thinking of Nightfire was one thing. He had come to terms with what he couldn't change, with what he couldn't prevent. However, thinking of Elita was distracting. He would need to attend to Optimus soon...

Ratchet prepared the weld alloy with what he had available to him. He and Nightfire had been able to come up with a stronger alloy that had allowed for less replacements. The stronger alloy was much better for Chromia, and less replacements were easier on her frame. However, he didn't have any on hand now, and the resources that he did have were going to make a weld that was even weaker than what he was initially using for her in the first place, before his and Nightfire's stronger alloy.

If he was going to have to continue with this weaker alloy, he was going to have to replace the weld twice as much as he had had to after her initial recovery. That meant that this weld was going to cause her frame twice as many problems as she'd ever had with this injury. It was better than nothing, but Ratchet sighed to himself in frustration as he scrapped the new weld mix he'd just made to see if he could make something a little stronger, at least.

Chromia was locked in her recharge state and now lay with her chestplating open, recharging somewhat soundly. Ratchet checked through each of her systems, now that he could examine her properly without her being uncomfortable. He was not able to examine her as thoroughly as he wanted when Ironhide's human, William Lennox, was present.

Several systems in her frame were not performing to optimal standards. Unfortunately, that was normal for her ever since her injury at Floatilla. Joining with Ironhide would help her feel better, of course, but getting her frame systems to one hundred percent optimal performance was no longer possible, even on her best orns.

Ratchet scanned her carry chamber. It was useless, but he checked it anyway. A carry hold was formed from condensed metal that came off the main frame of the bot when programmed during mating. This was the reason it was permanent once it was forged. As such, it was stronger than a bot's frame. It protected a sparkling very well. A carrier could be completely crushed, and the carry hold would still hold up, the sparkling inside remaining safe. Usually a carry hold would be hard for someone to force open, but with a mech as strong as Megatron, Chromia didn't stand a chance in keeping it closed off.

When the spear pierced through Chromia's abdomen, the stronger metal of the carry hold was pushed to the side. It had been damaged, but all the pieces were still there and mostly intact, so Ratchet repaired it.

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"If you think she can't produce another sparkling, why did you repair the carry hold?" Nightfire asked Ratchet.

"Because it was fixable," Ratchet replied gruffly.

Part of him wanted her to leave him alone and another part of him was curious at whatever harassment she might throw out next. In the case of her question, if something was fixable, he had a tendency to fix it, whether it was usable or not.

Ratchet paused, "Why? You think she can have another?"

Nightfire shrugged, "Not with her frame in the condition that it is. But, her spark is going to heal, given time."

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Unlike Nightfire, Chromia's sparkshock was not going to kill her. Ironhide and Chromia would always suffer from their sparkshock, but it was nowhere as severe as the sparkshock caused from losing a sparkmate. Over time, their sparkshock would subside, their sparks normalizing within the parameters of a healthy spark. Their sparks would be on the low end of the spectrum for a healthy spark, but they'd still be healthy.

Thinking about sparkshock and the sudden memory of Nightfire, Ratchet paused sadly. There was nothing he could have done for Nightfire. Wheeljack had proposed some ideas on how to try and block the dead part of her bond, but Nightfire did not want that added stress, especially since they weren't sure it would work anyway. She was adamant about not being experimented on, nor did she want to dishonor Deluge's memory. Ratchet understood that and the proposals were dropped.

Ratchet sighed heavily and then busied himself with trying to mix a stronger alloy for the weld. He had already tried several mixtures, none of which were satisfactory. He initially thought that he could have Chromia's weld replaced by the time Ironhide got there, Ironhide assumingly having been alerted from the little scare Ratchet gave her earlier. Now he was going to have to ask Ironhide to wait, assuming Ironhide was coming. The mech hadn't shown up yet...

Ratchet glanced suspiciously at Chromia. He was fairly certain she had reached out to Ironhide when he threatened her with terminal lock, but he couldn't be sure with her. Chromia could be very sneaky. When it came to Ironhide, she could be amazingly stubborn.

He did not want to try terminal lock again, though. He would never tell Ironhide and Chromia that, of course. He wanted them both to believe that he was willing and ready to enact it any time he deemed it necessary. However, while it did end in a joining, giving the desired affect of helping them physically, it didn't help them mentally at all. They still managed to continue to avoid their issues the last, and only, time he did it.

Initially, they needed the physical joinings in order for Chromia to survive, but now that she was surviving just fine, they needed to address their mental issues. Terminal lock may bring Ironhide running, but it could be another several thousand vorns before they were back to square one...like now. They had to address their problems, not avoid them.

He didn't know what they experienced when they were joined, but they had finally started joining on their own. Ratchet had thought that they had come to some sort of terms with their loss, but since they were still having issues with each other over it now, then they certainly didn't go about something right.

Shaking his head, Ratchet got back to the weld alloy. This would be his fifth attempt at something stronger. He didn't feel very positive about this one either, but it was going to be the best he could do for the time being. He wondered where First Aid was.

First Aid had been Chromia's primary medic while the AllSpark mission was underway. He would have the alloy Ratchet needed. However, he was nowhere to be seen, and Chromia hadn't said anything at all about any of the others since she arrived. She had spent most of the time she'd been on Earth in recharge. As many questions as Optimus was sure to have, neither he nor Ratchet was going to disturb that which she obviously needed. Ratchet thought of Elita again, unsure of whether to be hoping for the best, or fearing the worst.

Grumbling to himself about the sub-standard alloy, he loaded his welder with it anyway and moved on with his task. He carefully removed the old weld, removing the bottom panel of her spark casing that First Aid had used to repair it with all that time ago. Ratchet quickly shored up the hole with a temporary panel so that her spark wouldn't be damaged from prolonged exposure. As he cleaned the bottom panel of any residual welding, he examined her spark.

As far as he could tell, Chromia's spark had healed quite well over the amount of time that had passed since Floatilla, at least, physically. She was still suffering from sparkshock, of course, but it wasn't nearly as severe as it used to be, and he knew that both she and Ironhide would have that condition for the rest of their lives anyway. However, the pulse was normal, the color was normal, everything seemed to be within normal parameters for a healthy spark. The main issue she was having was deprivation, but that would be easily overcome through joining with her mate.

Ratchet tried contacting Ironhide again, grumbling to himself when all he got was the message saying that Ironhide's com wasn't functioning.

"Not functioning, my aft," Ratchet muttered.

Ratchet looked at her spark again, running several scans over it. Chromia's spark certainly bore witness to its struggles, but it was vibrant and alive with intensity. Perhaps Nightfire was right. The spark was still capable of conception. It was the frame that wasn't.

Ratchet looked over the place where Chromia's interfacing port used to be and couldn't help but hang his head in sadness again. When he removed it all that time ago, he had no idea that one orn they'd be looking at her as one of the very last femmes in existence. The port wasn't fixable at all, but he was still full of regret that he could not save that part of her that could very well save them all.

The sad irony was not lost on him. Here they were, possibly the last Cybertronians in the multi-verse, facing total extinction with the loss of the AllSpark. Then, a bonded femme with a healthy spark shows up, but there would be no way for her mate to get it the information it needed to run the programs to split. All connections had to be made. Without that interfacing port, it wouldn't matter if she had the healthiest spark anyone had ever seen. That port was the main reason that they couldn't conceive.

Ratchet could replace a CPU port. He could replace a CPU interfacing cable. He could replace any small data port. He could even replace an interfacing cable. However, he could not replace an interfacing port. The entire interfacing system on a frame consisted of a cable and a port, but fitting Chromia with a cable would be useless if he couldn't fit her with a port as well. That specific port was just too complicated. It was intricately connected to every single system, function, and sensory ending a bot possessed, to include the CPU, regardless of the fact that the CPU had its own port...

Ratchet paused in his thinking...to include the CPU... There was something about that...He was missing something. It had to be something so obvious that it was staring him in the face, or something so complicated that he'd never figure it out. He couldn't pinpoint what it was. He searched through Nightfire's and his own files on replacement parts, replacing parts, and replacing ports. She had a little more on energy and information exchange during spark mating than he had, but he didn't think that was what he needed. Ratchet stared intently at Chromia's frame. He felt like he was right on the edge of discovering something, but he couldn't grasp what it was.

Snorting in frustration, he let it go. It was just wishful thinking and he knew it. Even if Ironhide and Chromia could concieve, her spark casing wouldn't be able to handle it. Not only that, but there would be no guarantee that the sparkling would develop properly. Even if Chromia weren't having health problems, Ratchet wasn't sure that they would want another one anyway, not after all they'd been through with losing the one they had. To make things even more complicated, the two weren't exactly reveling in their reunion.

Ratchet thought about Elita again, and hoped to Primus that she was alright. She had her own issues, but she had been perfectly, one hundred percent, healthy in every way when Optimus had to leave her for the AllSpark mission. Not only that, but she and Optimus were always close, no matter what...

Completely dropping his current line of thinking, Ratchet went back to thinking of ways to make Chromia more comfortable. He needed to get his thoughts back to reality anyway. Wishful thinking was not a luxury they had.

Chromia was always in pain, a fact that she hid from Ironhide quite well. If Ratchet could just replace her spark casing entirely, her quality of life would improve immeasurably. He hadn't wanted to perform the procedure in the past. It was a fairly normal procedure, but with someone with injuries as extensive as hers, there were too many risks involved.

Ratchet's main concern with replacing her entire spark casing was possible shrapnel. He removed every shard of the spear and spark casing that had entered her spark, but he couldn't be sure if he got it all. If there was any left, a piece could become dislodged during the transfer of her spark and prove to be fatal, killing one of the last bonded pairs in existence. He felt that her spark would be strong enough to handle the procedure after several joinings with Ironhide, but he still couldn't be sure about that shrapnel.

He had been thinking about ways to counter the shrapnel possibility ever since she arrived to Earth. Perhaps a continuous magnetic pulse, directed the right way, could stabilize any possible shards and keep them from moving and damaging her spark during transfer. It was still very risky, but it would be worth it for both her and Ironhide if it worked.

When Chromia first arrived in the med bay, right before she revealed that Bumblebee knew the Decepticon femme CMO of Floatilla...

...Ratchet's mind, once again, drifted to memories of Nightfire. Several things about Nightfire always puzzled him. Her spark declined drastically, taking her systems with it, as she succombed to the sparkshock from losing her mate. She fought it and her sense of purpose kept her going longer than many of the other sparkshocked patients that he'd had at the time. He was able to help her with what he could of her failing systems, once she'd finally allowed it, but there was nothing he could do for her actual spark's decline. Then, almost suddenly, it stabilized.

Ratchet had initially thought that the stabilization was because of him. He realized, later, that that wasn't the case. He could only help sooth her systems. He couldn't do anything for her spark. He just knew that her spark had stabilized. It was still declining, but not at the alarming rate that it had been. He didn't know how or why, but Nightfire had survived a lot longer than anyone knew she would. She had survived a lot longer than anyone knew she even could.

All femmes had a spark bond to all younglings. A spark bond with a sparkling, the femme-sparkling bond, would certainly stabilize a femme's spark suffering from losing her sparkmate. The femme-sparkling bond would not have made her spark better, but that type of bond would slow the deterioration considerably.

She did not have a sparkling, though. Ratchet knew that for a fact, but he scanned through the memories she gave him anyway. There was nothing about a sparkling anywhere in her memories...

Ratchet looked at Chromia in puzzlement. Chromia was so sure that Bumblebee knew Nightfire, but none of them even knew Bumblebee existed until Nightfire was gone. Besides that, he had estimated that Bumblebee was about two vorns old when Optimus found him. Nightfire's spark had stabilized well before that. Even if she had been care-taking a sparkling, it wouldn't have been Bumblebee...unless Bumblebee was older than he originally thought. Even so, Bumblebee had been nourished and carried in a carry hold, which would mean his creaters were caring for him. Nightfire did not have a carry hold and, even if she did, Bumblebee would not have been able to be nourished from it. Such a function would only be possible if Bumblebee were hers. Ratchet knew she didn't have a carry hold; he knew it on a personal level.

If Nightfire knew Bumblebee, that would mean that the creators had carried the sparkling for longer than two vorns. It would also mean that Nightfire knew who Bumblebee's creators were. Ratchet searched through her memories again...

Nothing...There was nothing about a sparkling anywhere. It was conceivable that she left that part of her memory out, like Chromia suggested, but he didn't want to think of that. It made him sad to think that she'd keep secrets like that from him.

Optimus was the one that brought them the sparkling. Ratchet made a mental note to specifically ask Optimus where he found Bumblebee.

For now, Ratchet brought his attention back to Chromia. Bumblebee could help Chromia, and that made him happy. Also, if Bumblebee really was suffering from sparkshock, as Chromia suggested, whether it was from the loss of Nightfire or not, then Chromia could help Bumblebee too.

As Ratchet worked to weld the metal plate back into place, he checked the structural integrity of the damaged spark casing. When she had first come in the med bay, before any mention of Nightfire, Ratchet had tried to tell her that he thought he had figured out a way to replace her spark casing. However, she needed to be close to 90 percent for the procedure and she may have to join with Ironhide several times before she would even be 75 percent.

He hadn't realized how bad things were between her and Ironhide. He might not resort to terminal lock again, but he wasn't beyond locking the two up in their room. Time was something they all had, now that the war seemed to be over, and he'd keep them locked up together for as long as it took. Of course, Chromia had promised him that she'd go to Ironhide. He'd give her that choice, but if she didn't do it, then there would be Pit to pay from Ratchet.

Ratchet remembered the time he told First Aid that it was going to be a long road to recovery. He never would have imagined just how long it was truly going to be.

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