Disclaimer: This story is so ridiculous it's not funny. I have come up with another random bout of drivel in my head and.. whelp... here it comes! This is AU, but will kind of stick to the current story line in ways. The character are pretty much OOC, because really, what do I know about the real Colby, Joseph, or Jonathan other than what is put on their TV characters. Yes, my character is pretty much the definition of Mary-Sue. If that bothers you, find another damn story! =D This is a Seth/Roman/Dean/OC story and they all intermingle. Polyamory and pansexuality involved!
!This is very important! This chapter can be a very strong trigger for anyone who's ever lost a baby. Please read with caution, please! Having an angel baby of my own this chapter was hard to write, and yet it has been in my plot the entire time so I wrote it as planned.
A/N: Okay guys, shit gets serious here. I mean, tear jerking serious. I hope you all are able to enjoy and feel along with the characters involved, and I promise there will be brighter times ahead before it gets dark again. I have had two children, and miscarried early on, but nothing to this extent so there may be medical inaccuracies.
KairiAnneYukari ^.^
We had practiced so much that nothing could go wrong. It just couldn't. It was my first ever involvement in a match, in a PPV, in front of thousands.
"Shit," I muttered, scrubbing my face in despair.
Who was I kidding? I was terrified something was going to go wrong. It was just my luck. That's how the rest of my life went, why wouldn't it happen now? With kisses from my guys before we went out, I steeled my nerves. Thing were going well for the first ten minutes. Seth and Dean sold their wounds perfectly to the point I got really nervous that they were actually hurt. It finally got to the point I was to intervene and I dropped the headset from my ears.
"Where are you going Amara?" Jerry called.
"To put a stop to this!" I yelled over the crowd.
There was so many chants and jeers as Brock knocked Dean out of the ring. He seemed to be down and out for the count. Seth was heavily injured in the ring from a failed attempt at a pedigree getting him slammed into the mat by Brock. I ascended the steel steps as quick as I could in heels and slid between the ropes, looking up at Brock who eyed me curiously.
"Stay away. This is overkill!" I shouted.
A toothy smirk crossed his face.
"Do not try to protect the weaklings Amara," Brock warned.
I could hear the crowd chanting my name and the commentators yelling about my sudden involvement.
"I know you're a beast Brock, but please try to use your head," I snapped, "There is no sport in this!"
"It is not my fault they are push overs."
I balled my fist as he jeered and taunted. Tossing a look at the two men, seeing them worse off than I ever had, I glared at him.
"You heartless ape!" I screamed.
As I swung my arm to slap him, it was caught just as planned. The look on his face was murderous and I didn't even have to pretend to be scared. He was not a guy to fuck with and I'd piss my pants if he was ever actually angry with me. All to quickly I was snagged up and put in position.
"No! No!" I screamed, clinging to him, "Put me down!"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone rush the ring.
"Hey Samara! Run bitch! Nick's coming for you next!"
The blonde woman was promptly tackled before she made it completely over the barricade but in the amount of time, I lost my focus and upon impact, pain blossomed rapidly in my back and hips. I could only manage a strangled cry as he stood. While his face held no emotion, his eyes were cloudy and dark. Something had gone wrong and it hurt so fucking bad.
"Amara!"
Unable to continue exactly as planned, I just laid there, eyes shut and trying to will the pain away. The noises of the match went on around me while I gathered up the courage to move. The crowd went wild before I heard and felt a huge impact. They must have done the team powerbomb. As I went to roll over, excruciating pain zapped through my back and belly.
"Fuck!"
Yeah, I wasn't supposed to cuss in a WWE show, but this was more pain than I had felt in a long. Not even anything asshat had done to me had rivaled this. The bell was rang and Seth was pronounced the winned, and then I heard voices saying my name but it was too much to try to focus on replying. I had to keep my attention on not screaming. My body was rolled and all of a sudden there was a gush of fluid from my legs. Warm fluid. Fuck, did I just pee myself on TV?! Could this night get any fucking worse?!
…
Turns out I hadn't peed. Instead it was blood, which was terrifying to think about. The back pain was gone for the most part. Now it was just a dull aching pain, but the stomach pain kept coming back sporadically. They had given me some tylenol after drawing blood but refused anything else until they knew what was going on. It had been about an hour since they left with promises of knowing something soon. Colby and Joe were on my right, Jon was sitting at my feet, lying on them and just rubbing my legs gently. All four of us looked up suddenly when the door opened.
"Miss Evans, I apologize for the lack of tack here, but due to time constraints, did you know you were pregnant?" Dr. Field asked as he came in, pulling a cart with an ultrasound machine.
Wait, what did he just say? The room was deadly quiet as I stared at him in disbelief.
"I'll take that as a no, okay, please lie back and lift your shirt, we need to check on the fetus," he said.
I could only blink at him.
"I-I'm sorry, what?" I whispered.
He sighed and offered an apologetic smile as he rolled his chair over.
"You are pregnant and with the impact along with the pain and blood, we need to see if the fetus is still living."
He flicked out the light and came back with only the screen showing my stats illuminating the room. A hand took mine as he pushed the button to lower my bed. Panic took over and I clutched onto the hand in mine.
"Should be warm," he said as he pulled out a bottle and squirted some gel on my belly.
It wasn't possible. Something had to be wrong with their tests.
"There it is Samara, now I'll look for a heart beat," he said quietly.
Looking at the screen, I had to whimper. There was no doubt a baby there.
"Oh my god," Colby whispered.
Tears clouded my vision as the wand moved over my belly and we all watched and waited tensely. What felt like hours later, but was probably only about twenty minutes, he let out a sigh and took the wand away.
"No."
"I'm so-"
"No! Look again!" I snapped.
"Samara, I'm so sorry, but the fetus has no heart beat."
That sentence broke my resolve. I had to cover my face as I felt it crumple. How?! Why?! That was more important. Why? Why was I pregnant without knowing? Why did the impact kill.. fuck I killed my baby.
"The fetus is measuring just about 24 weeks and is large enough that you will have to give birth."
Swallowing thickly I glared at him.
"He or she is a baby, not a fetus! And of course I will! I wouldn't allow a D&C anyway."
Then I thought about the fact I was still having pains.
"Am I having contractions?" I asked, quieter.
"It would seem so, but they are very mild. Now I want to inform, and stress to you, the reason that your baby is no longer living is related to the impact, but there were other factors. During the ultrasound, it was prominently clear there was a large tear in the placenta, this made oxygen transfer to the baby slow down to the point of being damaging. The impact made the placenta become fully abrupt and between the time of the fall and now, the baby was not able to make it through."
"How was it not obvious?" Colby asked suddenly.
"How was the pregnancy not obvious?" Dr. Field asked for clarification.
"Yes," Colby replied.
"Some women have no sign of pregnancy. There can be minimal to no weight gain, no abdominal swelling, and some can even still bleed so that the woman thinks she is having her period as well," he explained.
As he talked more, I thought back on to the past months. Rapid weight gain once off the pills, no period even though I (stupidly) had forgotten to get my Depo shot, some swelling. I looked down to my belly as another small contraction hit and watched the muscles tense up. My abdomen became blurry as tears fell.
"Baby girl," Joe murmured.
I was pulled into a bone crushing hug as the other two pairs of hands rubbed at my legs and feet.
"I killed her," I whispered.
"No, no you didn't baby," Joe replied gently, "Nobody knew. It's not your fault."
"You'll be moved and they're going to go get the medication to start your induction and we'll measure your cervix to see if there's any dilation and thinning."
Unable to reply I simply nodded. When he left, I heard a chair slamming into the wall. I jumped and looked up to see Jon pacing.
"Calm down Jon," Colby warned.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Calm down?!" Jon snapped.
"Yes, calm down before you get your ass thrown out," Joe demanded, pulling away, "This is not the time or the place if you want to stay here with Samara. Because they will cart your ass out and you won't be able to come back in if you pose a threat."
Jon made a frustrated noise and tugged at his hair, but slowed his feet. I watched him mumble to himself and tap his fingers on his collar bone, staring at the floor. Then it hit me. One of them, no way to really know, had lost their baby as well.
"I'm sorry."
"What? Why are you sorry?" Colby asked, moving closer.
"Not only did I kill my baby, but she or he was one of yours," I whispered.
Pain flooded my chest and I just wish I could make it physical. Never had the urge to harm myself been so strong. A sharp sting brought my from my thoughts and I licked at my lip, grimacing at the taste of blood. The door opened again and a nurse came in.
"We're going to move you up to Labor and Delivery, then you'll get started."
The trip was quiet and I wasn't sure if there was anything I could say to fill the silence. I was at a loss for words on everything. There was a knock about five minutes after we got in.
"Hi Samara, I need to get an IV started and then I'll check your cervix," a nurse said.
As she got the fluids and everything sat up, I noticed her glancing over.
"Which one is daddy?" she asked gently.
When there was silence as her only replied, she cleared her throat and got busy again. Colby pressed a kiss to my hand as she came over. She hooked monitors up to my belly before pulling out an IV kit.
"Alright, let's find a good vein then dear."
After everything was set up, they started the pitocin and checked my cervix before another doctor came in.
"Hello there. I'm Dr. Moore, I'll be with you since you do not have a chosen OB. You're two centimeters dilated, which is good as it is more favorable than if you weren't at all. Your cervix is slightly thinned but not much which is to be expected as the baby isn't far enough along to be pressing on it. We have the pitocin on its lowest setting to get started because you're already contracting and we'll turn it up about every thirty minutes. Now, you can get an epidural if you'd like and-"
"No."
He nodded but his face looked curious.
"May I ask why? Pitocin contractions are more severe on the body than natural. It is going to be very painful," he warned.
I winced as a contraction hit, just in time to prove his words because it was already hurting more.
"I want it to hurt. I can't just sit here and birth the baby I killed without hurting. It's not right."
"Samara honey, you don't have to be in pain," Colby said.
"Yeah, I do," I replied in a clipped tone, "The least I can do is physically feel a fraction of the emotional pain I'm having."
"Cupcake, just get it," Jon said.
"I said no!" I snapped, glaring at every male in the room, "Leave it at that! Mom's give birth to ten pound babies every day without an epidural, I can- I can do this."
"Okay baby, no epidural, but if you need it, say so," Joe murmured, pressing a kiss to my hair.
I nodded and brought my gaze to my belly, which was still it's normal not flat but not pregnant-round size.
"H-How big will she be?" I asked quietly.
"A baby around 24 weeks still has a lot of developing to be done. You can expect a little over a pound and close to a foot long probably. The skin will be nearly translucent but red and wrinkly, and the baby might have hair but it's hit or miss. Even full term babies can be born nearly bald. Of course, you do not have to see the baby if you'd rather not," he assured me.
He was trying to make me feel better but I really just wanted to smack him for it.
"I want to see her."
"You keep saying her, how do you know?" Colby asked softly.
"I don't. I just feel like she is a girl," I replied, "Plus I don't like calling baby an 'it'."
He nodded and the doctor spoke back up.
"I'll be back when it's time for the baby to come, until then the nurses will be with you and checking on you. You cannot have any food in case of the small chance that surgery in necessary but you can have ice chips and sips of water."
I nodded that I understood and let out a breath as he and the nurse left. As soon as the door closed, Colby moved to the other side of the bed and he and Joe both sat. Jon stood awkwardly at my feet and I lifted my eyes to meet his.
"What happened anyway?" Joe asked softly, "I was in the shower when they came to get me."
"I fucked up my landing cause of some woman," I muttered, thinking back to just a couple hours ago, then anger hit me hard.
Fucking Nick! That woman was screaming he was coming for me, and it caused this. He had yet caused more pain in my life without even being there physically. I was startled from my thoughts when Jon sat on the bed.
"What was that lady yelling anyway?" Colby asked.
"She was telling me to run because Nick is coming for me next. He must have sent her as a messenger. That fucking prick just can't back the fuck off. He's fucked my life over and now he's taken something so precious and- and I hope he fucking dies!"
"Let it out honey," Colby whispered.
Another wave of pain hit me and I hissed. They were already a lot stronger and I was only on number three. The computer showing my contractions said they were growing closer. The first two were eight minutes apart, then six, now five. When the pain waned away, I leaned into Joe's arm and was promptly scooted over towards Colby so Joe could sit on the bed and I snugged into his side while holding Colby's hand. Looking towards my feet, I saw Jon move with a loud shaky breath and he climbed up to lie next to my legs. I think Joe and Colby were just as shocked as I was when he laid his hand and face on my belly.
"I love you Samara," he said quietly.
"I love you too," I murmured, then gave Joe and Colby a weak smile, "I love you two too."
"Love you baby girl," Joe rumbled, tightening his grip on me as Colby kissed my cheek.
"Love you."
…
Seven hours of nearly unbearable pain and I was at the point of pushing. It didn't hurt as much as I expected, nor as much as it should have. I should have been dying from pain for this, for unintentionally harming my own child. Hands clutched both of mine as I heard the doctor say the baby was crowning quickly. Two pushes and baby was there.
"Oh my god," Jon whispered.
His face was shocked when I looked up, and he was staring at the tiny, doll sized baby now being wiped off and put in a white blanket while I was able to sit back up in a normal position.
"Do you want to hold the baby?" the doctor asked.
"Please," I whimpered.
"It's a girl," he added gently and a sob escaped my lips.
I was right. The nurse went to bring her, but Jon reached out. She handed baby over and I watched with a mixture of absolute adoration and heart breaking devastation as he carried her to me. He paused when he got to the bed and ran a finger down her face with pain on his own. When I took her, I saw the light hair dusting her head and it was like a dark brown color. Only one of us had that color. Jon's was a light auburn, mine was a ginger red, and Roman's was black. I swallowed thickly and steadied my hands as I took in her still body. It didn't look right, seeing a baby this tiny, chest not moving to breathe. Her hand was no bigger than half of my thumb.
"Hi beautiful baby girl," I whispered before breaking into tears.
A hand rubbed my back as I rubbed the back of my hand across my eyes to clear them. I wanted to see her as clearly as I could.
"Mommy loves you so much."
"I- Is-"
I looked over through my tears and saw Colby looking on with his face white and fearful. Trying to push away my own pain, I reached out and grabbed his hand.
"She has your hair," I finally forced myself to say.
His eyes flicked to mine as tears finally fell down his cheeks. It hurt me almost as much just to see him crying. His hand was shaking as much as mine when he lifted to brush the minuscule strands.
"We have a photographer if you would like pictures of her," a nurse said as she came over.
"Yes, please," I replied emphatically.
Even though I wasn't able to save my baby, I at least wanted a way to see her every day. While incompletely grown, she was still perfect. Her eyes were closed but they were built wide like mine were as a child, and her nose was definitely forming like Colby's. I had to blink back the tears again when Colby leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Suddenly he butted his forehead against mine and I shut my eyes, reveling in the comforting touch as I tried to quiet my sobs.
"She's so beautiful," he murmured, voice cracking, "Like you."
I shook my head and forced my eyes open to look into his.
"She looks a lot like you."
"She's beautiful either way," Joe said with a coarse chuckle.
"What's her name?" Jon asked suddenly.
Caught off guard, I gave him a confused look.
He blushed slightly and shrugged.
"She still needs a name."