Chapter 38.
Cloud of Fire.
Grace wandered the corridors, finding herself constantly aware of where her companions were. It was the tension. The Doctor was upset about the loss of his ship, and Rose was acutely afraid – of this place? Of the future? It was impossible to know. Grace only felt her like a warm breeze moving around, and the Doctor more like a cloud of fire. With the others, there was nothing until they were very close to her. It seemed they were used to this eerie setting. How long had they been here, to feel as empty as they did inside?
She was drawn time and time again to the room with the text on the walls, but the Doctor was there, and she didn't want him to know why she was so interested. She didn't even know. The longer she wandered, the more the presence stirred.
Grace got the awful feeling that there was something below them, like Ida and Toby had said. Some kind of monster. While she had felt like she was drifting when they first arrived, now it was more like they were sitting on top of something, and it was shifting. Like sand. Like dust.
She opened a doorway into another room – like the one with the lettering, but smaller – and the intercom announced it. But when the announcement should have ended, static came through the speakers, and it spoke again.
"He is awake."
Grace stopped. She stopped breathing. She stopped blinking. She stared at the little speaker box and frowned. "What did you say?"
It was silent.
And then came the fear.
One of the crew was terribly, impossibly afraid.
Grace could not pinpoint who it was. She felt it permeate the whole place, so loud in her head that it seemed everyone would be able to sense it.
She looked for him. It was hard navigating the hallways, but the urgency grew.
He was so afraid. He was petrified.
Grace started running. She slammed through doorways until she found the dorms. As she grew closer she saw flashes of red, like pain streaking over her vision. Something rumbled inside. The presence coiled itself up and her veins began to flash bright green.
She pushed through the last door, into a room, and found Toby looking at her.
He was panting. He jumped so hard that he fell out of his chair.
"W-W-What are you?" he demanded. "What do you want?"
Grace saw a reflection of herself in the mirror, and staggered back into the hallway. The Doctor had told her when they first met that her eyes had glowed, but suddenly she was seeing it – green rings encircling her pupils. The large veins in her face flashed the same color, like an emergency beacon. She looked afraid – afraid of herself.
Not human. Clearly not human.
"Sorry!" She slammed his door shut again, deciding that he was not in danger, or if he was, it was no longer worth it to be in there. She fled down the hall, looking for sanctuary.
She turned a corner and crashed into the Doctor.
He took one look at her and wrapped her in a tight hug.
Grace tried to squirm away, but he held on, and the contact ate away at her panic. He was a little startled, a little concerned, but the brightest parts of him were calm. That fiery cloud had faded. Grace let it wash over her.
Slowly, surely, she relaxed.
"It's okay." He stroked her hair, appearing bewildered, and drew one of her hands up. "Look at that. Look at that."
What was he seeing? Something he recognized?
Grace shrunk under his scrutiny.
"No, no. It's alright." He ran one finger down her arm, to the crook of her elbow, smiling so big his cheeks crinkled up. "That is… beautiful. Some kind of fear reaction. Like a little homing beacon." He grew more serious, moving one hand to her face and cupping her cheek. She could see the bright green rings reflected in his eyes. "Look at you. Sometimes I forget. No, I don't forget. But sometimes I stop thinking about it… what you might be. But look at that. Look at you. You are… stunning."
Grace could not have understood his response if he was not so close. But this close, with his hand on her face, and the other touched her arm, she could not only feel what he felt, but experience it. She could understand it. She could read it.
He was enamored. He saw the veins, the color in particular, and what popped in his head was beauty. He loved it. It fascinated him.
And she didn't need to know any of that to read his face. He looked at her like she was the only person in the world. Just for a brief second, it was the two of them – perhaps the last of their respective species – and he was just gazing.
He tried to kiss her.
Grace broke the contact.
She stepped away, finding the veins relenting. Whatever had stirred in her was settling down.
It was not a fear response, as the Doctor said. She got a different impression from it. It, and the presence, were there for attack. So she didn't want to touch him. The thought of him bursting away into dust made her sick.
He looked a little burned by the rejection. He scratched his head, cleared his throat, and looked up and down the hall. "Right. We should get back to the common area."
Grace nodded. She followed him back, saying nothing, and wished she was anywhere but trapped on a planet with him. When the Curator begged at her feet, the only thing she could think was that she couldn't let the Doctor find out what she was, because she needed to stay with him. But now that priority changed. She saw it in him. She saw it budding, felt it pouring out. Whatever he felt, it seemed, he felt very severely. Joy. Anger. Pain. Love. He felt it more powerfully than any person. And she was lying to him.
She was dangerous. She could hurt him.
All the way to the door, it seemed his mind lingered on the sting she had given him. But there was something else – something shrouded.
He turned just before he opened it, appearing serious.
"I know you can feel emotions, but I'm asking you not to."
Grace swallowed, horrified. Did he know she was poking around?
"I can feel it." He touched his forehead. "I can feel it every time. Humans may not be able to, but I can. What I want to know is how much can you see? How much do you pick up?"
Grace stuttered. "Um, what you feel. I'm getting better at it. Today it's just getting… easier."
"No… It's more than that. More than feelings."
"Sometimes I can… I get glimpses. Through people's eyes."
"Through mine?"
"Yes."
He seemed disturbed by that. He put a hand on the door and repeated his request. "As your friend, I'm asking you to stay out of my head."
"I'll try."
Grace went to sit with Rose in the common area. The Doctor sat across from them, eyeing her until Rose frowned at him. She was curious. Grace suddenly wondered if Rose felt her listening in as well, or if it was just something unique to the Doctor.
Ida walked past them, talking into the radio on her wrist. "Zack, we got a problem?"
Zack came back immediately. "No more than usual. Got the Scarlet System burning up. Might be worth a look."
"You might want to see this," Ida said to them. "Moment in history."
She pulled a lever on the other side of the room, and the ceiling opened up. The black hole was there again, with ribbons of red flowing into it.
"There, on the edge." Ida pointed up. "That red cloud. That used to be the Scarlet System. Home to the Pallushi. A mighty civilization spanning a billion years, disappearing forever. Their planets and suns consumed."
A moment after those words hit her, the candles appeared inside.
Snuffing out.
One breath at a time.
Billions of them.
Before it could overwhelm her, the presence grew and quelled them. It went silent. Grace dropped an elbow to the table, so relieved that she gasped. The Doctor cocked a curious eyebrow at her, but was soon distracted by the moment in history.
And a moment it was.
The scarlet cloud was sucked into the black hole, and the lives that were being extinguished filled her up, but they were quieted by the presence. It was protecting her.
When it was gone, and the black hole rested again, Ida went on.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have witnessed its passing." She reached for the lever.
The Doctor sat up. "No, could you leave it open? Just for a bit. I won't go mad, I promise."
"How would you know?" Ida challenged.
He gave an adorable half-smirk at that.
Ida looked away. "Scooti, check the lockdown. Jefferson, sign off the airlock seals for me."
Rose leaned in, lowering her voice. "I've seen films and things, yeah? They say black holes are like gateways to another universe."
"Not that one." The Doctor had his arms folded on the table, and he gazed upward at the monstrous thing. "It just eats."
"A long way from home."
The Doctor leaned in, noting her sadness. "Go that way, turn right, keep going for, erm… about 500 years and you'll reach Earth."
Rose pulled her phone out – an archaic device – and sighed, "No signal. That's the first time we've gone out of range. Mind you, even if I could… What would I tell her?" She leaned in, setting her phone down. "Can you build another TARDIS?"
The Doctor sounded a little dreamy now. "They were grown, not built. And with my home planet gone, we're kind of stuck."
Grown, not built. Grace wondered about that. She really wondered about it. If she could touch his skin at that moment, she imagined she would get a glimpse of exactly what he meant. But she kept her hands to herself, and was left to wonder. He said the oddest things sometimes.
"Well, it could be worse." Rose looked around them. "This lot said they'd give us a lift."
"And then what?" the Doctor asked.
"I don't know. Find a planet. Get a job. You live a life, same as the rest of the universe."
What a terrible fate. Grace only just escaped that sort of life. This was only her third real trip with the Doctor, and giving up the whole rest of the universe just seemed… impossible. She knew now how much was out there. She wanted to see everything. She wanted to discover new forms of life, and watch them blossom.
The Doctor seemed equally upset by the idea. "I'd have to settle down. Get a house or something. A proper house with… doors and things. Carpets. Me, living in a house! Now, that… That… That is terrifying."
"You'd have to get a mortgage," Rose teased.
"No."
"Yes."
"I'm dying. That's it, I am dying. It is all over."
"What about me?" Rose laughed. "I'd have to get one, too. I don't know, could be the same one. We could both… I don't know, share. Or not. Whatever. I don't know. All sorts of…"
He was watching her very seriously. He cut in, "Anyway."
Rose looked up again, avoiding his eyes. "We'll see."
Grace saw what was happening here. Rose was looking at the Doctor, but not just looking. She was admiring. She had love blossoming in her heart. Love. Real love. And though she was avoiding anything to do with his mind, Grace could tell by his reaction the Doctor was wondering about it. She would be so good for him. Rose was kind. She was smart. She was human. Everything the Doctor loved. He could have her, and forget about their encounter in the hallway, and the three of them could continue exploring the universe together.
His thoughts seemed to have taken a different path.
"I promised Jackie I would always take you back home."
"Everyone leaves home in the end," Rose murmured.
"Not to end up stuck here."
"Yeah, but stuck with you, that's not so bad."
He looked at her, a little caution, a little possibility, in his eyes. "Yeah?"
She smiled back at him. "Yes."
Grace loved the little smile on his face. He was beautiful, even when he was sad, even when he was feeling guilty. Rose was the same way. Sweet and kind, and so alive inside. She was glad to have them as friends, glad they had stumbled into her corrupted reality, and glad she had set it all right in the end.
The phone on the table rang.
Rose answered it, listened a moment, and then chucked it on the floor.
She swallowed, looking at the Doctor, and then Grace. "Uh, we have a problem."