Chapter 35

The sound of the door slamming, and a stream of profanities flowing from Edward's lips, rouse me from sleep. I have a bobby pin sticking painfully into the side of my head, and as I sit up I realize the wired corset in my dress has been digging into my flesh.

A light comes on and I swipe self-consciously at the black smudges I know must be beneath my eyes, as I squint across the room.

Edward is pacing, his hand tugging at his hair, until he finally sinks onto the edge of the bed. He clasps both hands at the back of his neck as he leans forward and begins to rock. His mouth has stilled, the cursing stopped, but the silence is momentary as a sudden strangled sob claws it's way painfully out of his throat, bouncing off the walls and shattering my heart.

There are probably close to fifty things I could say - phrases to soothe, offers to listen - but only five words come to me, circling round inside my head until I feel like it might explode.

This is all my fault.

I rise to my knees and attempt to make my way across the bed to comfort the man breaking apart in front of me, but my dress catches around my knees and I go nowhere. I stand instead, tugging at the zipper under my arm, until the fabric loosens and falls away to the ground. Stepping out of it I try again; crossing the bed on my knees in just my underwear and stockings until I reach him. The sobs that wrack Edward's body are silent now. I slide up his shaking back and drape myself over his shoulders, hoping that maybe the body contact will calm him.

He still cries.

It's minutes before he even realizes I'm there, right behind him.

"Bella." His voice is hoarse and his grip firm, as he wraps the fingers on his right hand around my left arm and slides it up, the friction leaving a trail on my skin that burns in a way that goes some distance, in my head, toward the retribution I deserve for throwing his family into turmoil..

Edward loosens his hold on me and turns, pulling me to the edge of the bed and kneeling on the floor between my thighs. His face makes me ache, his lower lip quivering like a child's and his eyes lost and pleading.

"I don't even know…" His voice cracks and I place a finger on his lips.

"Shhh," I urge him, softly. He tilts his head, tucking it into his shoulder as his face crumples for a moment before he manages to compose himself.

"All this time I thought my dad was the one..."

He stops talking, slides his arms around me and leans his head in, resting it against my breasts. I reach up and cup his cheek, shocked at the current that runs through me when he turns his head and kisses my palm, his lips lingering there while his mouth opens and the tip of his tongue emerges to taste me, The sensation makes me gasp, and the sound draws his attention. He brings his head up and fixes his eyes on mine, a flame flickering where moments ago there was nothing but desolation.

"Let me have you," he says, his voice stronger and laced with gravelly determination, as his fingers reach around and unhook my bra.

Seeing him burn for me like this turns my guilt to ash, and the first touch of his mouth on my naked skin sends it flying up into the air and away, as lust rushes in to take its place.

Edward's hands move to my sides, his thumbs on my ribs as he lowers me gently back onto the bed. I feel his fingers sliding down, tracing the line of my garter belt across my stomach, and then lower, before hooking into the waist of my underwear. I expect him to slide them down, but he stops. I lift my hips impatiently, unable to stop the frustrated whimper that floats from my mouth. If I'd hoped it would urge him on, I'm wrong.

Strong hands grasp my hips again, pinning me down to the bed as the deliberate warmth of his breath heats my skin through my panties. I groan loudly when I finally feel the pressure of his tongue running quickly and firmly up, and when his teeth graze my clit as he pulls at the fabric that covers me, I literally see stars behind my closed lids.

I'm not sure what it is about my reaction, whether it's the sound I make, or the way I wrap my thighs around him, but suddenly he's pulling back. My eyes spring open as I worry I've done something wrong, but as he reaches for my underwear and tugs it roughly down my legs, I realize he's just as impatient for this as I am.

I lift my head to watch as he unfastens his pants, pulling them down below his hips with his boxers, just enough to free himself before he leans over me. I fumble with his shirt buttons, desperate for access to all of him, as the tip of his cock nudges against me. I quickly forget what I'm doing when the pressure increases, my hands abandoning his shirt as they fall back and grip the sheets either side of my head, as I'm overcome by the mixture of intense sensation and the emotion that cocoons us here, together in this room.

On this bed.

Edward pushes steadily inside of me, and at the point we begin to move together, I cling on to him desperately, afraid that I'll lose myself if I let go. We're the closest we can possibly be, but the need for him to be closer still consumes me. It drives the movement of my hips as I meet him, skin on skin, and the only solution to this craving I have would be for us to melt perfectly together.

I force my eyes open, though the waves of pleasure that rise up through my body make it difficult to keep them that way. As I look up at his face, a stunning portrait of bliss and effort, painted by the creases around his hooded eyes and the flushed tones of arousal that coat his cheeks, I'm overcome with feelings - some I can't even name - but all part and parcel of the same thing.

Love.

As he drops his head down into my neck and wraps his arm around me, we move faster, chasing the same outcome.

"Fuck, I love you," he gasps.

"I love you too," I reply, saying the words quickly as I recognize that any second now, he's going to tip me over the edge, removing my power of speech completely.

Then he does, and it's everything.