Scratch the Surface Chapter 36: Something is Not Right with Me, a naruto fanfic

Star - I HAS NEW J-ROCK BAND! COLDRAIN! Also I loved their song "8AM" before I even knew it was used for Hajime no Ippon. And sadly I am utterly disappointed such a smexy great romantic song was put to such an average ending theme. No offense peoples, but I would have expected more from you and your... selection or whatever. lololol... production. (joking sigh) Also read Fujoshi Rumi on Mangafox two days ago so it inspired some things here, hooray. And I can finally call Moe a fujoshi, instead of just saying yaoi otaku or whatever, eheheh.

Also, hey! Slightly longer chapter, omg! Everyone clap for Momo! (this chapter actually kinda sucks)

Scratch the Surface

Ch. 36 - Something is Not Right With Me

It was cold and hollow inside. Inside herself was the torture of confusion, ambivalence, and dread.

Inside herself she sank. She sank further and further by an anchor of compassion and disappointment. Disappointment for herself, for her behavior, for her weakness, for her efforts, for her heart's mind. And disappointment for the compassion she had so readily given to Naruto. Disappointment for the obvious betrayals and the indirect betrayals.

The further these memories attacked her, the further she cried for her lack of foresight, for her lack of discipline and practicality.

But the further she laid in her bed, wallowing in her battered self-perception, she soon acknowledged the passing time.

Today was the first day back.

She couldn't miss this because she knew it would be hard for her to make friends with her new classmates.

She remembered she was in a class with Kiba and Shino, and that the rest in their class was not the same from their First Year.

It would be a little easier to endure school with a completely different class. But she could still never avoid her former classmates, the ones that had been witnesses to her improper behavior with Naruto. The ones that had seen the video.

But she would just have to do her best. Whether the video was Naruto's fault or not, it was too late. It already happened and it was one of the social scars she had to let breathe. She couldn't try to disguise it, try to ignore it and say it didn't exist. She had to let it heal and whether it remained a prominent scar or not was yet to be seen.

You don't pick at your acne if you don't want scars.

Why nitpick at an old wound if you don't want it to fester?

Kiba waited for Hinata outside. Neji told she just got up and that she would be out soon. The quiet concern on his face was apparent. The passing look of concern on Hanabi's face as she had passed him twenty minutes ago was not a positive sign either.

It took her ten minutes to emerge, dressed in her spring uniform, her eyes glued to the ground.

She wore the hairclip, but not to pull back her bangs. She let them cover her eyes. She felt rather ashamed to face Kiba now, she had to hide behind the curtain until she was sure it was safe to come out.

They started their walk to school.

The pace was slow, somber and patient, like Kiba were leading a ninety-year old around the city. He tried to treat her as delicately as possible. He hadn't meant to shout at her the other day. He hadn't meant to let those two ruin the mood so easily. He just can't believe Hinata had been so vehement in defending Naruto.

She had been so naive, and that's what made those two laugh.

She let herself get mocked. He couldn't let that happen. He was trying to protect her.

Kiba watched her pale fingers fiddle with the black strap of her randoseru bag. He got the briefest sensation this was what she was like as a child, back when her mother died, her aunt and uncle died, her cousin hated her and her father took his frustrations out on her. He thought this had to be her when she was small and alone.

She couldn't be left with this idea that no one gave a damn about her. She could not be left with the idea that she was useless and unloved.

He would show her how much she mattered. She couldn't let the failure of her first love destroy any opportunity of future happiness. And he wouldn't let it.

Kiba reached out for her nervous hands and pulled them away from her bag strap. He took one clammy hand into his and kept it warm.

He held her hand the whole way to school.

She nearly combusted into tears at this kindness.

She couldn't believe she was still aching like this when Kiba was trying so hard for her all the time.

She felt like she wasn't trying hard enough. She felt like she wasn't appreciating him enough.

"Kiba-kun... I-I'm sorry..."

"It's okay..." He paused somberly. Then he turned to her with a small smile, "For now... You've got me and Shino."

Hinata swayed as they got closer to the school, its hard, rectangular facade looming over her like a prison guard or a haunted building. It seemed like the life had been sucked out of the place, and she feared it would take hers as well. The full green trees that crowded behind the brick walling were ominous as well. Just being the place made her claustrophobic.

They were an hour late. The black gate was closed and too high for them to jump over, and their second class was just beginning.

"Crap..." Kiba muttered before getting an idea. "C'mon, we'll enter through the field then." He took her hand and lead them towards the back of the school. Hinata glanced back at the schools' solemn face. It spoke to her as if saying 'I'm watching you, you know?' and it knew what they were doing. It expected her and would never let her go.

This place would never let her go.

They got to the net fencing surrounding the field. Irritation shot across Kiba's mind like an impatient mosquito as he remembered the encounter he had with Naruto here. But he moved on and bent down, his hands on his knees.

"Climb on my back."

Hinata didn't bother with hesitating though the need to consider had itched in her mind. She carefully climbed atop Kiba and grabbed the top of the fence, where she worked to the hoist herself up. Kiba lifted himself slowly, allowing her better grip. As soon as one foot swung over the fence and the other was lifted off his back, Kiba stood back up and helped her over the fence. She landed with a muffled thud, the dewy grass clinging to her shoes and she turned around to find Kiba grinning at her from their swift reunion.

Hinata couldn't help but smile at this.

She felt a little embarassed to be sneaking into school like this, but part of her enjoyed it too.

She was exuberated by the rebelliousness of their actions, and warmed that someone else was here to help her through it.

It was like that one day when she had ditched with Naruto. But there was a difference here that Hinata found pleasantly comforting.

With Naruto it had been nerve-racking. He had sort of leapt off without her as soon as she had grabbed his stuff and she had to push herself to keep up with him.

With Kiba, she could feel the trust of their friendship. Kiba was in no hurry to get to class. He wasn't worried whether he looked foolish or not. He stayed close with her, kept pace with her and helped her when she needed it.

They arrived at their classroom, willing away the appearance of extrenuous activity that had been their sneaking in. Kiba opened the door and entered, taking the wave of stares first before stepping out of the way and allowing Hinata entrance.

He did so like a butler did for a princess.

Their teacher was Kurenai-sensei, and she tried to glare at them for being late, but the utter relief she felt when she saw Hinata could not be wiped from her eyes, nor her crimson-colored lips.

Kurenai had been worrying over Hinata for the six weeks.

She still looked worse for wear, but at least she still existed.

Kurenai was still assigned as her supervisor. How easy it would be now to watch her and care for her as her homeroom teacher, and not just her Physical Education teacher.

"Alright, you two, take a seat." Kurenai forcibly grumbled out, her lips hopelessly trapped in a smirk as she thumbed through papers on the podium.

"Kurenai-sensei, it's not your class right now." Commented a male student.

"Huh?"

"Harada-sensei is teaching now." He answered, pointing to the open doorway where the motherly Harada stood, awkwardly waiting as she didn't expect Kurenai to be here.

Kurenai had been too caught up with Hinata's return she thought it was first period all over again.

Lunchtime.

Hinata sat by the window. Kiba sat next to her. Shino sat in front of Hinata.

Kiba pulled his desk up to Hinata's. Then he grabbed Shino's desk and attached it to theirs, earning a dubious stare from his otherwise poker-faced friend.

Kiba seemed pretty excited by all of this: being in the same class as his best friend and the girl he cared deeply for. He couldn't help but announce, "Picnic!"

"What?" Shino twitched beneath his sunglasses.

Hinata let out the slightest giggle behind her hand.

"Come on, asshole. Just enjoy it," Kiba smirked. "Hey, whatcha got, hm?"

Shino sat down and opened up his black soup container, releasing a very light broth smell.

"Chinese winter melon soup."

Hinata took out her red bento and opened up to see what Neji put together for her.

"Cinnamon roll cake..." She breathed. She didn't know whether to be elated or embarassed. On the one hand, it was the king of sweets for her, and since she had been feeling shitty, cake was the best answer. On the other hand, it was cake. And who except Ryugasaki Momoko eats cake and sweets for lunch? "I think Neji-nii is trying to get me fat..." She mumbled, trying to play it off.

Kiba just laughed.

"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh, come on! I spoiled you with sweets for weeks and you never complained!"

"It's still odd to eat only cake for lunch." Shino loosely commented, making no judgement as he ate his soup.

Hinata smiled a little at this and scooped out a glaze-laden piece with her spoon. Shino's hand halted halfway to his mouth, her timid smile like a flash of amnesia. Kiba came back from digging through his bag to pull out his bento, and Shino returned to eating his soup without looking obvious to either his comrades.

Even though Shino wore sunglasses all the time, he didn't wear them to ogle, much to the chagrin of Kiba's many theories. But Hinata's smile, no matter how small and brief, was something he hadn't expected to see. It'd been a long time since they last saw eachother, and even though they had talked before, for some reason all previous contact felt impersonal. And now felt like he had enhanced senses. He felt like he could really see her, feel her, even through black lens sunglasses.

Kiba enjoyed himself some leftover beef and sticky rice, while trying to entertain his perpetually quiet friends.

He had a feeling that once alone, Hinata would fall into her depression.

He couldn't be there all the time for her. He wished he could be, but he knew he couldn't. He also knew that she had find her own reasons to be happy again.

So until she had healed herself, he would just do all he could to make the journey forward more bearable.

Kiba wondered if gym was going to be the same for Hinata.

The class filed out for the gymnasium, but Hinata stayed behind at her desk. She felt Kiba's eyes on her, she felt the question forming in his mind.

She got up, her movements slow and unsure. Her eyes searched all around the room like she had forgotten where she was, and she finally turned to Kiba. She fiddled with her bag strap on the hook of her desk as she searched for the words she wanted to say.

She took her bag off the hook and hung her head slightly.

"I think I'll go to the nurse..." She mumbled low.

Guilt came over Kiba like an overcast of clouds as he thought back to the other day.

"... Fooling around in the gymnasium equipment room? That was true, wasn't it? You guys were fucking around during school!"

"Hinata-chan... n-not everyone... knows..." He mumbled weakly, his heart heavy. He grimaced knowing that wasn't a very positive response to her self-consciousness.

In fact it only solidified her burdening humiliation.

She sighed and went for the door, swaying slightly in the fog of her sorrow swollen brain.

Kiba followed her out, their eyes wanting to meet but never doing so.

"It's... This is a completely different class... None of our current classmates know-"

"But you know... and you were right, Kiba-kun... m-minus the... other part..." Hinata shrugged tiredly. The more she stood around like this, the more her claustrophobia increased. She needed to lay down. "I-I'm s-still a virgin, you know..."

"Uh- uhm... Okay." Kiba tried to give her a reassuring smile, but she had begun to drift already, the conversation completed.

And so he drifted towards the gymnasium, her bad memories of the place becoming his own.

Shizune fumbled a delayed greeting with Hinata, taken by surprise that someone was sick so soon.

"The RN isn't here right now, but..." Shizune paused from the desk to get a better assessment of the girl. She was dolorous. Her eyes winced in pain as if from light or a migraine, and her shoulders hung heavily as if suffering from body aches. "Here, lay down." Shizune amended, quickly getting into action. She gently grasped Hinata's hand and lead her to a bed behind white curtains. She pulled the blanket aside and helped Hinata onto the bed. Shizune took her bag and laid it on a chair next to the bed. She pulled the covers up to Hinata's chin and told her to rest. Hinata gave her a weak nod and closed her eyes, her mind filling with pain. Shizune turned away, ready to close the curtain but she turned back and glanced at Hinata. She turned away again but decided to check Hinata's temperature, so she turned back and swiped her hand under Hinata's bangs. It was hot and clammy. "Would you like me to get you some water?" Shizune proposed, but Hinata shook her head. "Are you on your period?"

"N-No..."

"Is your period soon?"

Hinata wasn't sure. She couldn't remember when her last period had been either.

"Do you have any pain in your right or left abdomen?"

Hinata shook her head.

"Pain radiating to your thighs or lower back? Do you feel nausea or the need to vomit? How about diarrhea or constipation? Headaches, dizziness, disorientation?"

"I-I'm a little dizzy, ma'am..."

"Do you have sensitivity to light, sound, touch or smell? Do you feel like you were close to fainting?"

"Just really tired ma'am..."

"How have you been eating lately? Have you done any excercising?"

"I'm not really athletic..." Hinata sleepily suspired. "I've been eating well though..." Hinata fully relaxed, practically collasped as she gave in to the heaviness in her body.

Shizune got to her feet and let the girl rest. She pulled the curtains all around her and walked carefully back to the desk.

Shizune kept Dysmenorrhea into consideration, though Hinata stated she had no abdomenal pain.

She would give Tsunade her assessment when she returned.

Hinata got fourty minutes of rest before Tsunade returned and came at her bedside.

Hinata laid on her back, her hands resting atop her stomach. Tsunade pressed her hands against Hinata's forehead, then her cheeks, then under her chin, then her neck. She felt fine now, no fever nor clamminess. Tsunade pulled aside the blanket and pressed her fingers against Hinata's abandon while checking her face for signs of distress.

"Does it hurt here?"

Hinata shook her head, "No."

Tsunade turned her gaze to nothing and furrowed her brows, a secret trouble stewing in her thoughts. She appeared as if she'd been carrying a burden for quite some time. Tsunade worked the facts of Hinata's previous and current condition in her head and nodded at her conclusion, however she was far too distracted to articulate to Hinata her conclusion and cut to the chase.

"You can think you can make it back to class then?"

"Mm." Hinata nodded.

"That's good." Tsunade sighed as she pushed herself up to her feet and walked out from Hinata's bedside.

As soon as Tsunade got to her desk, she hit the sauce.

"Tsu-Tsu-Tsunade-hime? N-No, you can't consume alcohol during school-!"

Hinata's eyes shot open incredulously at what she was hearing but not seeing.

"It's the first day of the trimester! And I still haven't seen that blonde-headed sonnavubastard! How long has it been, huh? January! January! IT'S APRIL NOW! IT'S APRIL!"

"But Tsunade-hime, it was April when you left Matsue, and you hadn't spoken to him or seen him since in all the two and a half years you were gone. You can't expect him to want to see you now, just because you two are finally in the same city again."

BAN!

"Tsu-Tsunade-hime?"

Tsunade had thrown her head forward onto her desk, not out of a drunken stupor for she had only splash of sake, but out a sudden onslaught of emotions. Irritation, frustration, loss, but most of remorse. Remorse because Shizune had been painfully correct.

And Shizune hadn't even meant to hurt Tsunade's feeling like that, nor send her forward onto her desk in frustrated tears.

"Noooo! I was mad at him, he knows thaaat! He should have been here by now with an apologyyyy!"

"Tsunade-hime, that's not fair on him..." Shizune muttered uselessly, feeling that the conversation had gone one-sided.

"I WANT THAT IDIOT BAAAACK! HE WAS SO RUDE, SHIZUNE! BUT I WANT HIM BAAAACK!"

"Tsunade-hime, please lower your voice..."

Tsunade was a reduced to a huddled, blubbering mess. Naruto always knew how to get Tsunade into a temper tantrum, even when he wasn't around to start it.

Sometimes Shizune thought it was a skill.

But then again skills are supposed to be useful, not just impressive.

Hakushon!

Naruto caught his sneeze in his hand, saving the grilled fish from certain danger. Naruto leaned back and watched Sato fan the fish over the tiny charcoal grill. Several of Sato's old friends huddled around the smell, appreciating it with pleasant wrinkled smiles and shining reverence in their dark eyes. These men were homeless like Sato, some not having been homeless as long though.

Kikuchi had managed to salvage many things before he lost his home, like small furniture and chairs he fitted inside his shack, his bike, and the little charcoal grill. He had gotten enough from his welfare pension to purchase a few bluegill fish for his friends.

Naruto was practically grinning with excitement. He hadn't had shioyaki since he was a kid.

"Is it done yet?" He whined laughingly as he rolled back and forth on his crossed ankles like an overeager child.

Kikuchi lightly smacked the back of his head for his remark.

"Ha-ha-ha. Ya might wanna be watchin' yer mouth there boy, or there won't be any food goin' in it." Chuckled the sixty-nine year old Sawaguchi, his jaw as sturdy as his laugh.

Hakushon!

Naruto caught his sneeze again only to have a palm full of spray and snot.

He had no where to put it but the sides of his pants.

"Yeah, sorry." Naruto smirked as he returned to rocking on his ankles, wondering if he was getting allergic.

Hinata spent the final half of the day staring out the window, mulling over Tsunade's distress and the secrets surrounding Naruto. She didn't know whether to tell Tsunade or not that Naruto had left Tokyo, that -for all reasons unknown- he had gone to Osaka. But if Tsunade were to ask her anything else, Hinata wouldn't be able to answer her.

Hinata didn't know if Naruto was continuing school in Osaka. Hinata didn't know if he was staying there momentarily or permanently. She didn't know what his plans were or what he was thinking.

He had just upped and left so suddenly. Didn't even stop to pack or lock his home. A knife tip in his arm, with a gash as long as it was deep...

Her heart sank at the knowledge. Knowledge she feared would devastate Tsunade. Perhaps because Tsunade's intuition would be stronger than hers when given the facts. Tsunade would have more to ache about than an undelivered apology.

Hinata closed her eyes, and the school bell rang. Kiba tapped her shoulder and smiled carefully at her. She grabbed her bag and followed him and Shino out the classroom, leaving her worries behind in the classroom.

She couldn't think too much on Naruto like this. She couldn't allow herself to. Whether he did something or not, whether he would come back or not, it couldn't be her concern.

Naruto wanted her to have a life independent of him, because he knew that's what her friends wanted as well... then she would.

Hinata kicked her shoes off at the door. The Hyuuga household was darkened and still, bereft of its other residents. She wobbled over to the kotatsu and plopped down on floor pillow, a wistful sigh escaping her nose.

Even with her family out, the home was just as quiet and dull as when they were around.

Hinata immediately headed for the fridge, her stomach instinctively crawling for food. She glanced at the electric burners, a far away memory surfacing to her eyes like a burning photo in reverse.

"I was supposed to cook! Father will know that I slacked off my duties!" She spoke in a angry bitter tone, pushing him aside from the hot food.

"The food is already done, Hinata-chan. How is he supposed to know the difference?" He looked at her incredulously, his usual cool temperament turning hot.

This wasn't the reaction from her he was expecting. A little gratitude would've been nice for a change. He wondered what it was that had her so wound up all of a sudden.

"He just will. Neji, He'll know there's something different about it." Her voice came out even yet anxious, as she looked dejectedly at the food. He was right, it was ready to be eaten. What woud she do now?

"You're just being paranoid. Look, if he knows you didn't cook it, what should it matter? At least dinner is done on time."

She had actually made Neji throw out his efforts. She got hot oil on herself, and all over the stove. But now when she thought back to that time, she realized she hadn't made dinner in the household nearly since then.

Hiashi had been on more and more out-of-country business trips, and Hanabi had been discovering her own independence within the city's nightlife.

Hinata had been spending more time with friends or with Naruto during those times that she had barely lived at home anymore. The family drifted and the expectation of a family dinner - no matter how unnecessarily robotic - had been forgetten.

In the midst of this divergence, Neji had been left behind. He was left to guard the home, left to make dinner and eat it by himself, left to his own devices while having no social life to take advantage of.

Yet he had all the time to simply abandon, much as Hanabi had, much as she had.

Her eyes lowered to the floor. Lead filled her head. The notion weighed on her, the guilt of it. She had abandoned, no... nearly abandoned her family. Though her friends had dumped her, she nearly gave up on them completely. She nearly threw everything given to her away.

"No wonder he got so annoyed with me sometimes..." Hinata mumbled with despondance.

"Because I lied. What the hell do I know about your cousin? I only met him once. You said you guys got better, you said that scar on your head wasn't a big deal. I can't imagine how he could still hate you. I bet he loves you to death. And your sister too. You're a very lucky person, Hinata. And your friends: maybe you do just hang with them every once in a while, but that doesn't mean they're not real friends. They hate me enough, so I'm sure that means you're very precious to them. I was so upset when you ditched me New Years Eve. I thought you didn't have any friends, but when they showed up, you left with them. I thought I hated people like you, I mean...You act like a fuckin' emo when it comes to your dad, but... in Nagoya... I took advantage of that... That way you couldn't leave me for anyone else again."

"...Do you hate me still?"

"I don't hate you. I realize that I'm always going to feel like shit because I have no family, and because all my friends are gone. But I'm going to feel so much worse if you don't go back to Tokyo."

"You asked me to stay."

"I don't want to ruin your life further..."

"He thinks I'm lucky... Super lucky... and I suppose I am..." Hinata swept her eyes throughout the dull and darkened house, the emptiness screaming out to her something obvious. The silence felt like a force field of pins aimed all around her. She couldn't wander too far or too quickly or she would pay for it. This was the sensation she had been given, a kismetic ultimatum set on a trigger of morality. Her experiences with Naruto, his breaking up with her over a vague internal moral dilemma, his putting her on the train as if it was the only way to set things right again - it all gave her this force field of pins. It told her where the line was, told her how free she was allowed to be, how imperfect she was allowed to be.

She wasn't allowed to stray like before or she would pay for it.

This was safety.

This was her designated comfort zone.

Home.

And having a home made her offically the luckiest person in Naruto's book.

Being Hyuuga Hinata made her the luckiest person on Earth in Naruto's book, because she had everything precious that he lacked.

These things conflicted in her brain like errant chatter on subway platforms. Her brain argued with her heart, and her heart argued with her brain, and her gut pushed her heart away to argue with her brain, and her brain had to juggle two arguments without cussing them both.

Her brain told her she had to stay home, finish school, find a healthy relationship and pick a University.

Her crack, poorly taped-together heart told her to be happy whatever it took, as it assumed it would die.

Her gut told her brain couldn't be trusted and that her heart was stupid. Her gut told her that to accept this safety her brain believed in was disservicing herself. Her gut told her that Naruto didn't know what was best for her, that he was being lulled into society's self-impeding views, and that he was forcing her onto a tight rope wire.

The pole was in her hands.

The pins fell away and implanted themselves in the ground, growing tall into razor-sharp spines.

Around her floated her desires.

She stared longingly into a film reel of her mother at the local zoo. Three year old Hinata jumped into her mother's arms and cuddled her mother's elegant face.

Tears fell from Hinata's eyes and she had to tear herself away from the image to continue walking.

Lolita dresses, frilly accessories, and pearls swam tantalizingly in her midst, promising her a glorious experience of an otherworldly culture and indulgence.

She shut her eyes and willed herself forward.

Hot wind rushed through her like a luxurious wave. It tingled her skin, made her heart race and ache with love, and her thighs to clamped down on an overwhelming sensation.

This cloud of lust was filled with many images, some were memories, some were daydreams, and others were incognizant manifestations.

She could feel his smile bearing into her. She nearly walked towards the comforting sensation, only to swivel and swerve on the tight rope wire.

One image came to embrace her from behind, saving her from falling, but with its advance purely sexual. She kept her eyes shut eyes. She refused to see. She refused to feel. But his hands were all over her, staking his claim of her skin and ultimately her heart.

At one moment she relived the wildly exciting experience they had in the restroom stall of his work, the taste of pudding filling her mouth like his tongue.

The next moment she was clutching to him desperate not to cry out as he forced her crotch over the bulge in his pants. Slithering sensuality filled her, leaving behind traces of shame that made her feel dirty and used.

Then unimaginable sweetness soared through her like birds to the moon. She'd been hugged a thousand times and kissed a thousand more in a fraction of a second.

Her breath caught in her throat.

The cloud of lust turned into a cloud of nothingness in her mind.

She blinked, and she never closed her eyes again.

Hinata found herself crumpled on the kitchen floor, fists pressed against her forehead, and a flood of tears streaming down her face. Her dry gasps were like screams in her ears.

Noiseless screams flew out of her mouth, the tears streaming down faster in her panic.

She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't remember how to start.

The whiteness of her mind encompassed her sight and turned into pain. Tingling, numbing, cold.

She fell out of her body and watched herself collapse on the kitchen floor.

"Hey, anybody here?" Hanabi whistled for a response from within, as she kicked off her shoes.

"She must be out." Neji replied, asserting that his assumptions had been right.

He had gone out to pick Hanabi up and treat her to an early dinner since Hiashi was in Kyoto and there wasn't any groceries at home. He had assumed Hinata would be studying with Kiba or hanging with friends, as that had become her typical habits.

Hanabi hopped her way into the living room and plopped down by the kotatsu. The silence was already beginning to gnaw at her sanity. After her adventuring in Tokyo with Kanasato, she'd grown a distaste for their dull home. Hanabi leaned back on her hands only to jolt back up when she felt something familiar.

Hinata's school bag was here.

"Hey, Aneki is here."

"Huh?"

"Aneki is here. Her bag is here." Hanabi said lifting the dark bag up to her cousin's eyes.

"Maybe she's asleep. Although she could have still gone out."

"That could be." Hanabi sighed, putting her chin on the low wooden table, releasing a resignation of boredom.

Neji walked around the living room, straightening up things here and there, including taking Hinata's bag to drop it off at her bedroom. Hanabi couldn't help but peal with laughter at this.

"Neji-nii would be a good husband. He cleans like a mother! Aha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

"And you would know?" He shot back smirking wryly, a glimmer of warning in his eyes. But Hanabi couldn't take offense to this as Neji barely had a mother himself, and so she placed her hands on her hips, screwed her eyes together and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Beeeeeeh! Maybe I would know, since Aneki used to clean like this."

"So I'm taking over for her. She's got too much on her plate. I've got too much time."

"You really should get out there, Onii-san. Hinata's been saying so herself." Hanabi regarded her cousin with quiet, concerned eyes. The respect she emanated towards him turned into pity inside his mind as he slowly worked around the perimeter. She slouched back down onto the kotatsu, feeling slightly miserable at her cousin's silence. That was the end of the conversation and she knew it. She knew it because it was clear he had nothing to say. No thoughts, no ideas, no plans.

Hanabi rested her head on her arms, and decided to take a nap. She could hear Neji continue to walk around the house, his steps light but deliberate. It wasn't until a couple minutes later that she heard him yell.

"HINATA?"

Hazy shapes floated across Hinata's vision. She was almost shocked to see the shapes had color. She thought she had been blinded by the whiteness.

Warm, moist mass pressed against her forehead, she soon realized it was a washcloth.

The shapes grew more definitive in seconds. She could see her sister hovering over her through her peripherals, but it was this other face, this elegant by strong face that had all her attention.

Hinata blinked slowly, once, twice, before recognizing his name and who he meant to her.

Then she saw the cieling, the screen doors, the drawers with her clothes in them. She felt the floor against her back and the futon she rested on and the comforter that rested on top of her.

She felt the whole room in an instant and she realized where she was.

But he wasn't supposed to be in here. He had never been in here before.

"You're in my room." Hinata muttered matter-of-factly. But Neji didn't find this amusing and only narrowed his eyes at her.

"What the hell were you doing on the kitchen floor?" He demanded.

"I didn't... Y- You didn't find me in a compromising position, did you 'Nii-san?"

Hanabi burst out laughing at Neji's increasingly shrinking face. If he kept grimacing like that, his features would melt away.

Hinata tried to forget about the sudden onset she had a couple days ago. She busied herself with studying in the park, as it relaxed her, and spent a lot of time with her friends. She balked at the thought of being home alone again. She wasn't sure if it was the lonely atmosphere of the house that caused her attack or that she had been remembering him so acutely that caused it.

Either way she didn't trust herself to daydream anymore. She needed intense distraction. She needed involvement. Anything that wouldn't give her the chance to marinate in old woes again.

Hinata wandered through the aisles of the HMV music store, glancing through titles until something caught her eye.

Kiba was in the heavy rock section diagonal from where she was. Hinata glanced up at him and he shot her a flitatious smile. Somewhere in the back of Hinata's subconscious she rolled her eyes, but a soft smirk quirked up her lips. She hovered around the classic rock aisle, not intentionally looking for anything of that genre. She kept her eyes lowered, pretending she hadn't seen his innocent teasing.

His eyes and his smile... he just didn't have the same effect on her as Naruto.

"Embrace of Tentacles no Jutsu! GLOMP!"

"EEK!"

Hinata found herself under attack by an epic Moe glomp, her greedy hands openly fondling her in public.

"Opah! This is true oppai!"

"Eek! Moe, stop!"

Kiba's face turned bright red. Moe's breast juggling had implanted an evil seed inside his brain. 'Dammit, mental picture, mental picture, mental picture. Aaaaugh...' He walked away and headed towards the live DVD section against the furthest wall.

As usual, Moe's antics got everyone's attention and she didn't care what they were thinking. The grey jersey-knit cotton dress Hinata wore made fondling her even more fun. The fabric slid nicely over her satin balconette bra.

"But your boobies give me tera moesu!"

"I-I don't even know what that means!"

"That means your tits are over 9000!"

"Moe, you're a dirty old man!"

"I've discovered Victoria's Secret!"

"Moe-!" Hinata laughed weakly bending over, hoping she'd release her soon. "Moe, stop, your puns are terrible." Hinata collasped onto her knees, hiding her face behind her bangs. Moe wrapped her arms around her waist and snuggled her face into her back.

The customers returned to their business as the show ended, leaving the two teens to an awkward but warm moment.

"Say, how come you're always wearing half cups?" Moe asked, noticing this.

"Uhm... E-Emilie recommends it."

"Why are you wearing what she likes?"

"B-Because she's an expert?"

Moe sighed.

"Sometimes I think her dark side takes the shape of a dirty old man... or maybe a S&M mistress who puts guys in torture cells, and locks up princesses in high towers, whom she later has her way with."

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I really don't..."

Moe sneaked her hands up and gave Hinata's chest two more squeezes.

"Munyu munyu."

Moe burst out the door of the HMV store, paper bags of MDs and band posters in each hand. She inhaled the city air in an overdramatic manner, a triumphant smile stretched across her face.

"Well, time to go." She stated as she found herself instantly being dragged away from the store by Keisuke. "Buh-bye 'Wakapai'!" Moe waved her arm energetically in the air, referring directly to Hinata who stood blankly watching her go. She flushed instantly at the nickname though she wasn't entirely sure what she was referring to, she got the gist of it when she said 'pai'.

Hinata instinctively covered her chest, and gave a sigh.

She wondered why Moe was the only one who had to grope her breasts. She was still so embarassed by their size. It wasn't normal for her age, even Emilie knew that when she measured her a few months ago.

Kiba gently touched her hand and pulled it away.

"Don't so be so self-conscious." He smirked, his cheeks a tiny bit pink. That mental image was going to haunt him when he got home, he just knew it. A thought then tickled his brain, his expression growing sheepish by it. "Did she really call you 'Wakapai'?"

"Do you know who that is?" Hinata muttered, trying to shrug off her self-conscious curse.

"She's... A Dumb Idol. She got famous off her bustline, 88 centimeters. That's why they call her 'Wakapai'. But there's other models that are G too, like Risa and Ai."

"Eighty-eight... oh no, I'm bigger..." Hinata mumbled to herself in a far away voice, her mind floating in a haze of indiscernable worries.

As for Kiba, who had heard her distracted directed aside remark, felt a fist of adrenaline punch him in the heart.

'SHE'S BIGGER?'

Hinata glanced up at Kiba, causing a hot blush to rise up like mercury in a thermometer.

He couldn't make eye contact with her for the rest of the afternoon.

When the weekend passed and everyone returend to school, Kiba still couldn't look at Hinata without that mental image and newly acquired fact haunting his hormones.

"What's with you?" Shino remarked with scrutiny as the day ended.

Kiba was still flustered, and his function dial had officially been turned to 'awkward robot'.

"She's bigger than Wakapai."

And thus Kiba passed the evil seed onto Shino.

A blonde young man on a bicycle had passed by Hinata in her neighborhood. He'd been wearing red plaid pants with rips in the knees, studded belt and a white crew neck shirt that rode up slightly against his navel and flapped in the wind.

The red and the white of his outfit made her think of Naruto in his school uniform.

Hinata didn't trust herself not to dwell anymore once she got home. The mental image was too strong.

She kicked off her shoes in the entrance way and quickly got into action.

She tied her hair back, put on an apron and got out the cleaning supplies.

Twenty minutes later Neji and Hanabi walked in on a hurricane that, instead of leaving a path of destruction, left a sparkly path of cleanliness.

"Don't go in my room, Aneki." Hanabi threw out matter-of-factly to the hurricane.

"Okay!" And Hinata proceeded to clean the hallways.

"I have a feeling I won't be able to watch the news." Neji muttered putting his shoes back on.

"I have a feeling I won't be able to sit down." Hanabi sighed.

As they left the house, they wondered what had gotten into their beloved family member.

Hours later when the sun had set and the street lights lit up the block in a cozy glow, Neji and Hanabi had returned to a home that sparkled and smelled fresher than the tops of Mt. Fuji. They were almost afraid to enter and ruin the cleanliness.

They were also afraid because Hiashi was home early for once, and eating a large meal Hinata had put together. He was scowling more than usual, yet he didn't seem unhappy. It was like the look of a king who refused to believe his lowliest serf had surpassed his best cook.

He stirred his final slice of ankimo around in the ponzu sauce and ate it whole, still scowling, still stubbornly ignoring his daughter who ate quietly beside him.

Hiashi knew she had cleaned the house to the point it could be put up for sale without refurbishing.

He knew she put together this special meal in time for his arrival.

And he knew the meal was as perfect as his late wife's cuisine.

Hiashi stood up from the table and headed straight for bed, where he would find fresh bedding and dry-cleaned suits in the closet.

Neji carefully approached the table, taking in the prepared meals with awe and curiosity.

"Horumonyaki? And Ankimo?"

There was tonjiru and seaweed tsukudani as well, and fresh shredded daikon garnished atop the rice.

"I headed out to the market a couple hours ago. They acquire so much offal at the end of the day that they sell it separately. Of course the later it gets the cheaper it gets because it's been sitting and would have to be discarded by the end of the night. I think father appreciated having a stamina building meal."

"Eww, fish liver." Hanabi chirped from the side as she recognized the ankimo plate.

"I didn't even know Hiashi would be home today. Did you know?" Neji questioned his cousin, who blithely shook her head.

"Guess I got lucky, huh?"

On very few times Naruto was able to afford a night in one of the doya hotels after pulling together enough funds from day laboring and collecting cans. And on those times he called it 'Bath Day'.

Naruto today stood over a public restroom sink after strolling around through the shopping arcades, silently envying the children who ate the wagashi their parents bought them.

He didn't feel too gross nor smell as bad now that he got used to doing laundry the old fashion way. He figured out wearing an outfit for three consecutive days was the limit before the grossness set in. And he continued to wear his clothes for three days, wash them, hang them, and wear fresher clothes in the time being. He was actually very pleased with this new regimate as he could now enter stores and restaurants again without giving his lifestyle away, including 100 Yen stores that had cologne samples on display.

That had been one if his biggest shames, to be seen as poor, misfortunate, and dirty... He was glad to manage himself in a way now that he could blend in with the rest of society again.

He squirted some soap into his hands and placed his hand beneath the faucet. Rush of water splashed onto his skin and he proceeded scrubbing, especially getting under his dulled nails. He was never this clean before because he didn't have to be, but now he had to be absolutely sure.

However a part of him felt a little odd being this sensitive about people's opinions. Sure, he still had that strong desire to belong, but never like this, never so much about his appearance. Only with girls did he question his appearance, but those were passing insecurities, just the usual stuff that bubble up unwanted but with justified prescence.

'Kind of paranoid, aren't you?' A voice spoke in the back of his mind.

He scrutinized his reflection, ran a hand through his shaggy blonde hair, the oil built-up not calling for a rinse. Then he wondered about his teeth. He flashed a smile, with almost immediate regret.

"Well... Sato-san still has all his teeth..." Naruto muttered, taking hopeful satisfaction out of that fact. He hoped he wouldn't end up like Kikuchi-san or that skinny dementia-ridden old man who lived at the station. Naruto saw him once. The old man smiled at him and there was nothing but gum. It made him shudder.

He pulled out a couple sheets of paper towel and wet them under the faucet with a bit of soap to wash his face.

A rustling noise came to Naruto's attention. There was a curt squeak of a sneaker and then a sigh. Then more rustling.

Naruto's eyes immediately swept down to the side and he found something he never expected he would. Within the toilet stall he saw a bare female leg and a hairy male leg, his pants bunched down at his ankles, his sneakered feet vainly trying to give him leverage without squeaking.

They knew he was there, but they were still going at it anyways.

Naruto could see the female's pleated denim-grey skirt pooled out beneath her as they moved slowly back and forth.

Naruto wasn't sure he should applaud them or be disgusted. They were actually doing it ON THE FLOOR! A PUBLIC RESTROOM FLOOR! IN THE MENS' ROOM!

Aside from a million shoes having tracked all throughout the goddamn place, who's to say other people didn't have sex there too, or guys used the stall and didn't aim?

And in that moment Naruto felt unbelievably confident about his hygeine, even though he hadn't had a real bath in weeks.

These two were probably going to be itching tomorrow or worse.

Compared to these two brave souls, Naruto felt like a complete gentleman, because he had the decency to carry Hinata during their public adventure.

Naruto left them to it and walked out of the restroom.

"Now that I think about it..." He muttered realizing. "Both our first and last time together were in public restrooms."

Hinata overlooked the busy streets from a walkway bridge, the world and all its voices buzzing in her ears. She got out of school a couple hours ago before enjoying some fastfood beef bowls with Kiba and Shino around the corner.

She hadn't had a panic attack since her first one a couple weeks ago. She had been successful and she felt relief over this.

But she was far from home, even with the surprise success she had made with her father a couple nights ago. Even with her life seemingly returned to her, she still felt as she were a flower plucked from the ground and discarded.

She still felt like a drifter.

She could not replant her roots so easily. She lied on her side in vain, hoping one day the ground would welcome her again.

She was so close, yet not close enough.

She still felt like a stranger here.

Confidence had not caught up to her.

She was here physically, but mentally and emotionally elsewhere.

But perhaps she had finally gotten one root inserted into the ground.

The other day LaBelle had given her cut of the pay from the photoshoot.

The spring issue of Gothic&Lolita Bible was about to come out in another week. Emilie had called her over to Yoyogi Park to talk to her about it.

"Here." Smiled the blonde, her new complacency becoming a highly suspicious thing. Hinata looked down at the bundle that had entered her hand, at first not registering the object. Then suddenly her eyes burst open.

"This can't be-!"

"60,000Y? Of course, I get a third of your earnings for being your agent and photographer, so I already took the liberty of taking my 30,000Y."

"Wait- Wait, Emilie-san, you should get half for all you've done-!"

"Who's the veritably jobless middle class citizen here, hm? Hina-chan, I've been well taken care of my whole life. What do I need extra money for?"

Hinata glanced down sheepishly understanding her mistake.

"I-I see..."

"Of course, I'm going to have to find you other engagements, as G&LB is only quarterly." Emilie was grinning to herself.

The mechanisms in her brain were already at work, Hinata couldn't only imagine what sort of photo shoots she'd be subjected to if it wasn't all Lolita fashion.

"Sounds... kind of scary, Emilie-san..." Hinata smirked nervously.

"Maybe some lingerie pictures?" Emilie smirked with a mischevious gleam Hinata had never seen before.

In fact it seemed that any positive expression the high-maintanence female wore was brand new... and a bit daunting.

Hinata nearly fell forward at her bold suggestion.

"WHY?" She burst out with sheer embarassment. She couldn't believe her friends would support her to do such things.

And she thought Moe was the only mischevious one to be aware of, after all she was a pervert. But... LaBelle too?

"It's not erotica or GRAVURE, silly. What makes you think I'd force you into that stuff?"

"But... lingerie..."

"It's just underwear."

"But even if... I don't think I could..."

"Let's try it anyways." Emilie smiled holding her fist parallel to her shoulder, wordlessly saying 'Ganbatte. Let's have fun and give it our all.'

Hinata was still slightly mortified by the idea, but at the same time reluctantly interested.

"Actually... I may need to go out shopping for bras again anyways..."

"Why's that?"

"93 centimeters. I'm not a G cup anymore, am I?"

"No, you're actually an H, honey."

Hinata nearly cried at this.

"Oh no, you didn't buy all G's that day, did you?"

"I was in denial."

The suggestion of extra modelling had been implanted in her mind and set to fertilize, and fertilize it did.

She hated her morbid curiosity at this point. They say curiosity killed the cat. Well her curiosity certainly has gotten her run over more than once. She wasn't sure if she could trust herself to fall for such interesting ideas again.

She was set upon a tight rope.

She could only go one way and that was straight.

The straight and narrow.

Hinata was attending her first rock show that night.

Moe had bought tickets for the sunday night venue at Shinjuku Loft, to see this blossoming band she had been supporting from the beginning. But Kiba had managed to buy the same tickets with the intention of inviting Hinata and dragging along Shino.

Moe had jokingly demanded Kiba to a duel for who got the right to give their extra ticket to Hinata. She had even whipped out her Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, something that perplexed Keisuke who didn't know she'd been collecting or why she was even had them on her.

In the end Moe declared she won the right since Kiba didn't even have any cards to battle with. Even though everyone knew not to take Moe too seriously, Kiba actually got annoyed at her for making that declaration.

"You've already been Hinata's friend the longest! I don't get many opportunities to do this kind of thing with Hinata-chan!

If you get to grope her chest in public, then I get to take her out to a show!"

"... Are you jealous of us?" Moe asked blankly, the annoyed Kiba growing flustered at the implications.

"I think he's trying to say you could be more considerate. " Keisuke explained with his usual exasperation, quietly adding under his breath, "As if we all haven't been saying that."

And as if Moe couldn't get any worse, she did.

"Alright, we can split her in half then."

The boys blanched, turned bright red, and began shouting at her but she talked right over them.

"I get sole claim of Hina-pai's boobies and cute face. Oh, and I'm also the lessor of her secret garden. No man can lay seed unless he has successfully paid rent on time for a year.

If the tenant shirks these responsibilities, he will surrender the keys and his penis."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

Hinata scoured her room for something that would fit where she was going. But all she had were comfortable clothes, girly clothes and those womanly outfits Hana-ao lent her from an old spring fashion show. She still had some of Moe's clothes from months ago when they had been trying to help her win her, at the time, nameless mystery crush. But none of Moe's garments fit her. Moe was too slender, her body that of a tomboy, and Hinata was too... full-bodied, in her overwhelming opinion.

She decided to wear the same side-shirred, body-hugging, black Dizzy Darling dress she wore for Hanabi's birthday, and paired it with a bright violet leggings that were Moe's. She put her black mary janes on at the entrance way and hopped out into the night.

She had never been to Kabukicho before.

She wondered how she would like the bands.

The only modern taste she had was Shiina Ringo.

The train stopped.

She hopped onto the platform and went straight into a run, only to be stopped.

They'd been waiting for her the whole time, Moe, Kiba, and Shino. Keisuke didn't come as he wasn't interested, which secretly irritated Moe. She never realized how used she was to having him around, she always dragged him along and he had always been too wishy-washy to really complain. But he'd been complaining a lot more lately and he'd been winning those arguments as well.

Moe had her black hair pulled up in a messy ponytail, side-swept bangs pulled across her forehead to cover her left brow. She wore all SEXPOT ReVeNGe clothing: A black SKULL DOLL camisole with red trim, a TRANCE cardigan sweater with the hood, sleeves and right half of the garment red and black stripes, the left front of the sweater a solid black with a grungey skull print on the upper chest, and lastly classic punk red plaid BURST ROCK pants that came with leather studded patches, chains and a black bandana worn at the hip. Her eyes were smokey black, with a tinge of teal smudged in.

The third year fujoshi beamed excitedly at Hinata's arrival, but she seemed so out of place next to Kiba and his tag along. Hinata could see the lonely Moe beneath the smile. She must've been waiting for Hinata because Keisuke wasn't around. And true to Hinata's intuition, she had felt out place alongside Kiba and his childhood friend.

She hadn't even tried to talk to them for fear of an awkward audience.

Without Keisuke, she was a one-man manzai show.

"Hina-pai, my love!" Moe launched herself onto Hinata and hugged her. The nickname she threw out unfortunately reminded the two boys about Hinata's 'attributes'. "You look so classy! Hold on, lemme tease your roots, you look too neat. Aw, but I'm so glad you curled your hair, this makes it easier."

As Hinata got her hair tousled, she got a good look at Kiba and Shino.

Kiba wore faded black denims with deconstructed patches, a black hoody and a faded red muffler wrapped loosely around his neck. Shino wore his uniform slacks, and a greyish-forest green hoodie with a high collar that covered his mouth.

Kiba elbowed Shino in the side, and shot him a suspicious look.

"You sure you don't dress the way you do so you can ogle girls?" Kiba asked as he pointed out the advantages Shino had with his hood to shadow his face, his glassed to cover his eyes and the damned high collar that covered the remaining half of his face.

"I don't. And if you choose to replicate me for your own gains, I will kick your ass."

"But this whole thing is genius!"

"Kiba, don't be a creeper!" Moe remarked from the sidelines, promptly sticking her tongue out at him. "I told you Hinata-chan's body is mine!"

"You said her breasts and her face!"

Hinata hung her head to cover her face. She doubted she'd ever be used to this sort of open conversation. Geez, everyone could talk so easily about sex but her.

'Aaah! It's not sex, it's not sex! Aaaah, why did I think of it like that?'

"Is that all you can think about, you pervert?" Moe fake-complained, as she pulled Hinata away with her, arm in arm. She tittered evilly to herself once the boys couldn't see her face.

As for Shino, he was feeling embarassed that Kiba was arguing with Hinata's friend right in front of her.

"Well, when we get to that door, I'm giving her her ticket."

Moe disagreed with this.

"I'm taking Hina-pai."

"What am I going to do with an extra ticket?"

"Tape it to your wall or something, keep it as a memento."

"I told you I don't get to do this sort of thing with Hinata-chan often!"

"I thought you said you spoiled her." Shino incredulously muttered, remembering his words all too well. Not to mention last year's evidence. Even then, Shino knew the guy had been trying to buy Hinata's heart.

"I deserve to be Hinata's date, alright? I'm not going to the concert alone!" Moe threw back.

"You're not going to be 'alone'! Hinata's still going to be there!"

"Hypocritical of you to say that! It's the philosophy of the thing, and you know that. Well, what am I going to do with two extra tickets, huh? You got your concert buddy already, so I get mine. Anyways, you can't go on a date with a girl when you're hanging out with your best friend at the same time, selfish idiot!"

"Kiba, if you wanted this to be a date with Hyuuga-san, why did you buy a ticket for me?" Shino asked with almost accusational disbelief.

Kiba used to have a reason but now he couldn't remember it as the imaginary boulder of 'Epic Fail' fell upon his head.

But most of all he couldn't believe Moe was such a worthy opponent. He didn't even think he had to go through her or any of Hinata's friends to get to Hinata, but Moe was serious: She was the lessor and any possible suitor or tenant could not fully be with Hinata without signing a contract of agreements.

"Am I already not good enough?" Kiba whined hopelessly to himself. "Did I not rank better than the previous tenant?"

"Tenant?" Shino echoed with confusion. What did he mean by tenant?

Hinata was scared as they snuck their way in through the mass of jumping bodies. The floor boomed and practically shook beneath her as everyone jumped in rocking unison. But the high energy was infectious. The wild drum beats wriggled through her like earthquakes, and the melodic riffs lifted her up to shivering sensations of exhiliration. She felt bad she didn't even know what the singer was saying.

Moe lead them to the 'Naked Loft', which was like a lounge area. She knew Hinata would need to ease into the atmosphere before she would get swept up into it. She wanted to sit down anyways. She couldn't understand the singer either and her band wouldn't be the seventh venue anyways.

They slid into their seats, playfully bumped into eachother, poked and tickled eachother's sides. They gazed excitedly into the crowds, beaming with so much pleasure that youth shot out their teeth.

Kiba and Shino found them and made their way over to the table. But just as Kiba was about to sit down next to Hinata, Moe slung her leg over Hinata's lap and blocked the empty space with her foot.

"It's 'Girls Night' now. Go find another table."

"What? No way, I came here to hang out with Hinata-chan!"

Shino rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and turned around to find another table, respecting Moe's wishes.

"Three things! One: You come to a rock show for the rock show. You know, like support the band? Actually watch them play and cheer them on? Two: I may have been her friend the longest, but you're her classmate. Also you're in the same year as her! So don't whine about not having enough time to spend with her! Three: Your concert buddy is over there." Moe pointed to Shino who sat in the back most table, his back against the corner as he attentively watched the band.

Kiba anxoiusly towards Hinata in hopes that she'd sway Moe's bitchy attitude, but the moon-pale angel with tousled curls had her head tucked against Moe's shoulder, her eyes attentively locked onto the energetic band with the power to derive cheers from the lake.

She wasn't looking his way, she hadn't even been paying attention to the dispute. Or maybe she was, but she didn't care who won. She didn't even defend either one of them or tried to get them to settle down and drop their pettiness if it was petty, that is.

Did this mean she really wanted to be with Moe tonight?

But why split up the group?

No, this wasn't the group, at least not the original group. It was just Hinata and Moe, everyone else from their group was not here.

But then Moe was the one splitting up the team, him, Shino, and Hinata. She was just as much of a selfish asshole as he was.

However, he still didn't understand why Hinata was ignoring all this, him tonight especially.

She'd been playing it cool with him. Everytime he tried to be cute with her, she would give a light smile, but never did she seem interested or willing to be involved.

Was she still depressed?

Had she become jaded?

Or was she playing hard to get?

"Shoo, already! I actually bought my tickets to have a good time and enjoy the bands."

"Fine."

Kiba sulked off, irritated and tired. But a part of him was hopeful.

Maybe Hinata was playing hard to get.

His feelings had to be obvious to her by now.

As soon as he sat down in the adjacent seat by Shino, he began mulling over what to do about Hinata.

'She has to be playing hard to get. Moe declared 'Girls Night' and Hinata went along with it. Maybe they're scheming about re-igniting her love life. Maybe the whole 'girls night' was decoy so they could gossip about her love interests. Maybe Moe's asking Hinata if she likes me. Maybe Hinata already wants to be with me but she wants me to ask in a certain way. Shit, how will I know what that certain way is? Can I get Shino to play spy for me? No, I'll just ask Moe. She knows I'm a good guy, she was probably acting like a bitch to jerk me around. Wait, maybe she'll tell me after the show!'

Kiba grinned with expectant excitement at the giggling girls. He couldn't wait for the show to be over.

Shino sighed irritably to himself, knowing full well what that naive grin was about. At least for him to suddenly go from sulking to exuberant in a matter of two minutes was transparent enough.

It would be his own fault when he got disappointed come midnight.

Moe's band finally came one. They had gone through two songs and had three more left. She had on this grin that would break her face, her eyes pinched back in a way that gave the impression she was crying.

"Alright, so who here watches Hajime no Ippo?" The lead singer addressed with a breathy grin. "Maybe you already know this song."

"MASATO-KUUUN, I LOVE YOUUU!"

The crowd had been thrashing alongside the five-man band, Moe included, and men were howling their enjoyment in the air.

The first line of lights breathed to life and slid their beams across the stage and out into the crowd like sunlight as the song started up. The second and third line of lights followed the same, illuminating the band in an almost heavenly light.

Masato held the mic to his mouth, his elbow aimed at the sky.

"Somehow...
I can't remember why,
We stayed up till 4AM,
We talked about
Nothing important and then made love,
No persons can be close as us,
No persons can be close as us,"

"Why is it that they chose an English-speaking singer?" Hinata looked up at Moe, witnessing bliss on another's face for the first time. She almost felt embarassed, like witnessing something intimate and special.

"Masato is half-American, half-Japanese. I wouldn't even care if he was half-American and half-Namek, he's so beautifuuuuul..."

The chorus came and the band started thrashing like heavy-metalists, despite the pop-sensibility of the particular song. Hinata wondered if this one could be considered a ballad. The rest of their songs had been definite screamo, but this song had more potential for commercial exploitation.

"And now as she calls my name,
Inside her dream,
Kisses me still half asleep,
Don't I wish that we could stay like this,

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!"

Moe was jumping and singing and hollering her heart out, swimming in bliss and desperation. She needed to achieve a higher state with Masato, she needed to melt into the crowd and feel what they were feeling. She wasn't sure what to do with herself anymore.

Moe walked back to the table and collasped by Hinata, frustration tugging at her heart strings. She was almost crying, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't let herself loose.

"Maybe it's a good thing Keisuke isn't here with me! If he was, he'd just be a third wheel! He would be too embarassed of me if I let myself go! Maybe it's good we're not hanging out anymore! We're graduating this year! We're pobably going to separate colleges, we'll have separate majors! ... I should get used to being without him! You know I'm nothing but a bully to him! I'm a shitty friend, it's alright if he dumps us! Why should my feelings get hurt when it's totally justified of him to hate me?"

"Time flies,
And I can't remember the
First time that we met,
Now I need her,
Like I know she needs me too,
It can't get much better than this,
It can't get much better than this..."

"Why do you think he would hate you?"

"I know he does! He complains about me all the time! Sometimes I'm afraid it's that bitch's fault! She's always putting me down in front of everyone, I think that's made him braver about criticizing me!"

"You shouldn't let LaBelle get to you..."

"And why not? She's your friend, Hina-chan! I couldn't tell her off no matter how many times I told her I had you first! No matter how annoying I got, she still stuck around! I think... I think I got so used to trying to scare her off that... that I've become this loud, bratty bitch... I was never like this! I was never this bad! FUCK! Why did I let it take me over?"

Tears were streaming down her face.

"And now as she calls my name,
Inside her dream,
Kisses me still half asleep,
Don't I wish that we could stay like this,
yeah yeah yeah!
I stop the alarm to watch her sleep and think I'd do anything,
If I could make this time rewind forever,
Till 7:59..."

"You've yet to put me off, Moe."

"Which is exactly why I can't be without you! Keisuke will leave me someday, I know he has no problem with it! But you're the sweetest person I've ever met! Losing you would be failing at life!"

"I'm sorry I ridiculed you for loving that guy... I'm sorry I was so hateful about you spending more time with him..."

"But I shouldn't have abandoned you... You were right to detest me... I became self-centered, I ignored school, my family, and you guys... I thought he was the most important thing in my life... I thought if I lost him, I'd lose everything..."

"If I could make this time,
If I could make this time,
If I could make this time,
If I could make this time rewind."

The building boomed with cheers and whistles and applause before the band ripped into another song.

Moe had quieted down, succumbed to the emptiness she feared would cling to her upon the end of her wonder years.

"We're graduating this year..." She echoed amidst the roar of the band. "If Keisuke leaves me for University, and I leave for University, and LaBitch moves away for University... You'll be without us for a year. You'll have Kiba and your siblings for the next year, and then you'll move away for University... Neither of us will see eachother for four or six years... And then what happens after we have careers, and then families?"

"We can always keep in contact, Moe."

She shook her head pessimisstically.

"We can always try, sure... but... I know you'll have earned your own life. And Keisuke won't try to keep contact with me... Hopefully I'll be married or have a boyfriend... hopefully I won't end up like my parents... But I'm alone... how often is it that I'll be able to see you? I'm just saying... we won't be as free as we'd imagine we'd be living outside our parents' homes..."

"..." Hinata wasn't sure what to else to say... She understood what Moe meant. Her fears of mandatory but trivial responsibilities, the hand-me-down responsibilities of society, were fears she always had since junior high. That's why she so easily got sucked into role-playing, to stave off having to dwell on those fears.

"So..." Moe began flatly. "Kiba likes you."

"I know..." Hinata nodded flatly, too timid to show her true feelings to Moe who was socially down on her luck.

"Do you care? Doesn't sound like you care, heh-heh-heh..."

"I-I care! But... he should know I'm not ready yet..."

"You're considering him, then? Don't feel forced into something you don't want just because it seems to make sense."

"Then... what about when I wanted something that didn't make sense?" Hinata inquired, sadly thinking of how it felt to love him.

"I hated him, I'm sorry. He never asked you out. You were trying so hard, and he just treated your feelings like they were a joke. You lose confidence in a person who reciprocates too late. There's no point in waiting on them, it just uses you. But you know that, don't you?"

"Yeah... I know that now..."

The girls walked onto the sidewalk, Moe leaning on Hinata like a sappy drunk.

"Come on, I wanna go home..." Moe muttered dully.

"Shouldn't we wait to say goodbye to the guys?"

"Nope, let's go!"

But the galloping slap of shoes against concrete reached their ears before a familiar face reached their eyes.

"Hey, were you guys just going to leave?" Kiba asked, huffing for breath and feeling somewhat offended.

"Moe enjoyed the concert too much," Hinata joked mildly with a sorry smile. "I'm going to sleep over at her apartment."

"Oh wait, can I talk to Moe for a moment?"

"Can you what?" Moe screwed her eyes together, almost shooting him an accusing look. "I don't wanna talk to you, I wanna get home."

"But-! Don-Don't you have something important to tell me?"

Moe was still blinking at him, her state of confusion growing more and more irritating. And why the hell did he look so hopeful?

"Forget it, Kiba. She has nothing to tell you." Shino sighed as he appeared from the stairwell.

"But... but..."

"Night, Kiba." Moe waved him off, and gestured Hinata to start walking to the station. Never did they see the boulder of 'Epic Fail' fall twice on his head.

"You really haven't been too nice to him, though." Hinata commented, reflecting on Moe's earlier self-criticism.

"I know, but I really can't help it anymore." She sighed lazily. "Hopefully someday I'll figure out how to stop being a tsundere bitch."

"I thought you told me tsundere means they become nicer by the end of the story."

"Then I hope I'll get nicer by the end of the story."

Moe's mom was staying at a boyfriend's apartment for a couple weeks, giving Moe the whole apartment to herself.

Hinata felt the bed give way as someone crawled atop it. She felt an arm slip around her shoulders, and soft head tuck itself against hers.

Hinata grasped her hand and held it in her cooler ones. It calmed Moe slightly.

"He was supposed to come over with me after the show... He knows he wasn't supposed to leave me alone tonight... But he had to go, or we would've just been fighting more... I just don't know why he has such thin skin..." Moe turned her face in and leaned her forehead against Hinata's ear, her lilac perfume a soothing scent for the recently black-haired Moe. "You can stay, right..? I... I don't want to be left alone..."

"I'll stay."

Moe nodded into her shoulder and closed her eyes. Her sinuses were loose from crying earlier, she was resisting the urge to sniffle.

"I don't know who's more emo right now, me or him. He's seriously got thin skin I think, but... he just can't stand me anymoe... that could mean he's got thicker skin, at least enough to stick up for himself now... Say... what happened to you in March?"

"What do you mean?"

"Kiba said something happened at school and you stopped going. I know we stopped talking for a good while before then, but he said... you were gone that whole time."

Hinata closed her eyes, knowing she couldn't tell the truth. It didn't seem to matter anymore anyways, so it was best to pretend she had ended it long before Osaka. It was easiest to go with what Kiba believed, that she had been hiding in her room for a week.

"I don't know... I guess I just feel like hibernating..."

Moe giggled at this and sniffled slightly.

"I feel like hibernating too. And I don't want to come out until it's safe again. ...Maybe I should pick a college in the south, huh? Have tropical fun in Okinawa every day, play volleyball and shit... Not a lot of homo hotties in Okinawa I bet though..."

Hinata's lips curled into a sleepy smile, adoring how Moe's mind worked. She was a straight arrow for curved boys, a downright outrageous pervert of a girl and it didn't seem like she would ever change.

"BL doesn't actually exist in real-life, does it?"

"What? Then what the hell was Atsuko and Yuki? They were the loveliest, punkiest gay couple I've ever seen! Sure Miku and Bou-kun's on-stage kissing were fan service, and Bou-kun actually is a lovely little gay crossdresser, but... Actually, yeah, see? Even Bou-kun! Long as gay asians exist, there's pretty Boy Love for my shameless fujoshi enjoyment!"

"You really are like a dirty old man, Moe!"

"Ew, imagine a dirty old man making dreamy eyes at beautiful boys! That's a fujoshi nightmare!"

They playfully poked eachother with their elbows, giggling and lightly laughing in the darkened room.

"So you like that Masato is half-American?"

"I don't know, honestly that's a dumb thing for anyone to care about. But then again, I guess that's where he gets his good looks from. I just love his pale skin and the curve of his brow. Even the way he screams is attractive to me, also when his eyes goes wide... it's so much better than the other bands and their excessive screaming. I mean, if I wanted to hear that kind of screaming I'd head to the business district and listen to the cubicle slaves doing their team screaming thing, ya know?"

"I think I understand..."

"I'm sorry... my emo moment ruined Coldrain for us. You didn't get a chance to look into Masato's cute face, and neither did I much. Do you think that guy you liked was a half baby?"

"Half baby?"

"He was blonde and had blue eyes. That's still a rare occurence amongst halfies, but then again Eiji Wentz has a rather light color for a halfy. And his hair has always been light too."

"If it's a rare occurence... maybe he's..." Hinata trailed off unsure if she wanted to say it.

"Well he speaks perfect, althought rude, Japanese. I guess he's a native, but... definitely not native looking."

Hinata stared up at the cieling, unsure what to think, not that it mattered in the end though. But she had never thought about his blonde hair and blue eyes, or what they implied about him. Now there was a new secret about him she would never have explained.

"Hina-chan... Kiba likes you." Her eyes opened, glancing at Moe once before darting up to the cieling, to the computer screen, to the table where her studies lay in the lava lamp light. "You're not ready though." Moe mumbled softly, a tinge of concern in her words.

"I-I'm not..."

"It's alright, I'm sure he knows." Moe snuggled in closer to Hinata, a content yet shaky sigh released from her nose. A blonde-headed boy with a detached and unfriendly expression appeared in her mind, the words 'Is that what she tells you guys?' echoing in the back of her brain like the struggling flap of broken wings. Moe couldn't believe Hinata had fallen for such a loser. "That boy messed you up pretty bad..." She commented before fully resting her mind at ease. Yet her words only cut through Hinata and pulled her apart like someone pulling meat.

"That boy messed you up pretty bad...'"

Her eyes stung. They welled up so quick she couldn't stop the flow. Tears rolled into her ears, she had to turn away so she wouldn't get Moe wet. Her chest shook as if she had hiccups. She tried to repress her cries but it only made it more painful, it only made her want to cry out harder, louder... made her want to cry until the pain in her heart had been scratched out by the screams... cry until it was possible to taste a bit of blood - then she would know to stop. After tasting blood she would stop mourning for what she lost, for what she never had, and for what she'd never have.

But she could remember him so clearly now. She felt like shattered glass, yet the liquid that was he never left her, never trickled away, never slipped into the ground. Her shards were drowning in his liquid. She could not hold onto him, could not bottle him up and keep him forever, but he could continue to consume her, stick to her, and stain her.

And yet she had no idea why he was so important to her.

"... He said you were nothing special! ..."

Why was he so special to her when she wasn't special to him?

Naruto hung out in Sankaku Koen again, enjoying the colors and the cozy, youthful atmosphere. Two Country Lolitas sat on the cement stairs, blithely eating custard and basking in the romance of the park lights. One girl had long black braids, the other had shoulder-length brown hair, curled at the ends. They nearly seemed like twins in their cherry patterned dresses, but their outfits were quite different. They talked with heavy accents, their giggles thick in his head like warm wine.

He could imagine Hinata sitting alongside them, her dark hair pulled into doll curled pigtails, teeth flashing behind an eager, saccharine smile. He could see her wearing a tea cup sized straw hat with flowers, ribbons straps under her chin, and her dress pastel pink gingham with a heart bodice, and white ribbons criss-crossed down the sides. He could imagine her eyes glinting blissfully, the park lights dancing on her pale skin.

The two lolitas began tapping their heels against the steps in time to an identical beat they had in their heads. The words came out in a melodic hum he could hear beyond the buzz of the so-called American Town. The tune was so bright and catchy, but the lyrics painted a lonely picture.

"I remember the season we met first and your grace smile. Bringing up old issues, we hurt each other as badly as possible. Our minds are full of thorns."

"With this continuous dull relationship. Grievously I can't change my mind. I still love you, I don't wanna be apart from you, but I have to tell you."

The country lolitas stood up and took their leave, giggling as they purposefully bumped and leaned onto eachother, they song floating to his ears.

"It's raining heavily in my mind, I'm stunned, I'm standing dead, my vision is blurry. Despite my determination, the pain is still penetrating. The bond between us has come apart and is dying away in everyday."

"Goodbye, my sweetheart, it's over. We have to leave without turning back."

"Just once, just once, if I could have my wish to come true..! I'd be born again and again and go see you on thooose daaaaaays!" The exaggerated high-pitch of the bridge was immediately smothered by hysterical laughter.

He watched them go, his eyes fixed on Hinata's back, her dark hair flowing from a white bonnet, and her imaginary giggles floating on the air.

Naruto wringed his hands nervously. He'd never had that vivid of a daydream before.

"I need to find something else to do." He sighed with his head hung and fingers laced behind his neck.

In real life Hinata was nothing but trouble. Anyone that cared about her hated him. She was dependent and frail-hearted. She was too much responsibility, and a part of Naruto agreed he wasn't good enough to take care of her.

Especially now.

But what if he had gone back to Tsunami's with her, instead of without her? Would Inari still have kicked him out? Would Tsunami have ignored Inari's wishes knowing that Hinata couldn't be made homeless alongside Naruto? Would Tsunami have forced Hinata to return home? Would she have asked both he and Hinata to return home?

If so, Naruto would have broken up with Hinata anyways, and he would have sent her home while he stayed behind. He couldn't return to Tokyo. They could catch him. And Hinata would know everything then. She would witness him being tackled to the ground, forcefully lifted up and shoved into the back of a police car. Even if Naruto could get Mizuno to believe he was set up, that he didn't kill the taxi driver, they still had him for The Shinjuku Incident.

He helped carry their drugs.

He helped them smuggle guns.

He was a witness to extortion and blackmail.

He had been a witness and participant of The Water Trade.

He was a witness to a murder of a prostitute.

Aomori made him do so much illegal shit that it would it give Danzo a hard-on to see him get hanged for it all, if the belligerent bastard were alive that is.

And then there was the one murder he actually committed - Reishi's.

No, Naruto had to stay in Osaka. Hiding out here and forsaking civilization was so much better than having everything taken away.

It was better to dump than be dumped.

Hinata rode the train out of Chiba to Metro-Tokyo, her head slightly hung and shoulder slackened with exhaustion. It wasn't so much the sleeping arrangement last night that drained her this early morning but the horrendous heartache that wouldn't leave her the damn alone.

She thought she had been doing so well.

It's been nearly two months.

Yet barely into her first month of school, she was still sick and frought with remorse.

How long was she meant to withstand this burden? How long was she going to hold onto this memory?

It was ridiculous. Everything about this was ridiculous. Yet there was nothing she could do about it. Her heart could not change, it refused to.

But to love him like this was wrong, illogical. She told herself she had to hate him for all the things he'd done, for all the ways he took advantage of her, for all the ways he made her trust him again and again when she knew there was no point in it. She had been so mad seven weeks ago.

Why wasn't she mad at him now?

"And now as she calls my name,
Inside her dream,
Kisses me still half asleep,
Don't I wish that we could stay like this,
yeah yeah yeah
I stop the alarm to watch her sleep and think I'd do anything,
If I could make this time rewind forever,
Till 7:59..."

Had Naruto felt like Coldrain's song? That night in the hotel, when they had hugged eachother so tight, unable to sleep for fear of nightmares and speeding up time... Had he wished he could keep her forever then? Had he wished he could stop the alarm and stop them from ever waking up and departing?

Had he accepted that it would all end at 8AM?

Hinata wondered if the break up had been as tough on him as it had been on her. She wondered if he had just as difficult a time breaking it off with her as the boy had in Megurine Luka's song.

But she never saw him cry the day he put her on the train, never saw his heart break in his eyes while hers had been breaking itself into irreconcilable pieces.

But he'd been having nightmares the night before. He'd been crying and shaking then, burdened by past mistakes, frightened to death of himself.

What would Tsunade think if she knew all this? There seemed to be an unimaginable horror stored within Naruto's scarred heart. Would they understand if they knew - if they could just see it? Would Tsunade understand if she saw it?

Did Naruto think she wouldn't understand it?

"... I can't fail anymore..."

Hinata hung her head as it seemed a veil had overcome her sight. She couldn't stand feeling so useless, so lost and aimless. What the hell was she supposed to do? Sit through the suffering?

Hinata clung her bag to her chest, the tears rolling off her cheeks in tandems. Her breath hitched in her throat. She swiftly inhaled, but nearly choked as the air did not pass easily. She forced herself to regulate breathing, but she couldn't remember how. Tears fell faster and she breathed with her mouth, her intake short and uneven.

She never noticed the young man across from her. He sighed a familiar phrase under his breath and began fishing out a hankerchief in his blazer pocket. He got up and sat down next to her, her immediate reaction was to shrink away despite that she didn't know who he was.

"Here," He gruffly offered. But she turned him down with a grimace and a pathetic shake of her head. "Hyuuga-san..." He breathed solemnly, handing the cloth closer towards her. "Please take it."

Pale fingers clumsily darted out for the cloth, then curled desperately around it and swiped it off his hand. But Hinata was too overwrought now to use it, as womanly cries echoed from her mouth. He knew her name. Hinata began to feel like shit knowing she was having a veritable break down in front of someone that knew her, though she wasn't sure who he was. But if he knew her name, he must be a former classmate. That sent alarms in Hinata's brain like electroshock and she shrunk further into herself, willing herself away into nothingness, anything she could do to be forgotten by this person.

"Troublesome..." He sighed shaking his head in bewilderment. He had been hoping for a nice ride to school. He had never seen Hyuuga on his route before. He grimaced when Hinata began to try to stifle her voice. She almost appeared to be convulsing, the sobs having no where to go - her shoulders shook like crazy. "God..." He sighed as he leaned forward, laying his face in his hands. He didn't know what to do for her. He didn't know her well enough.

He knew about the video.

He knew about Kiba's feelings for her.

He knew about her relationship with the loud-mouth troublemaker.

He knew all this through Kiba.

He knew this much through obversation and the change of chemistry in the classroom over the past few months.

Last trimester had ended on a fever pitch.

The video had spurred so much trash talk that the school felt like a war zone. Harada-sensei couldn't handle the antagonism and pejorative of her students. Sakio-sensei was on a vendetta more than ever against Naruto, who hadn't been seen since the incident. The parents of the first years were demandng to hold a vote against the principal. They found him to be a very slack man for allowing these things to happen at the school and they wanted him out.

In six weeks, the ruckus had been reduced to an uncomfortable memory, occasionally brought up between former classmates of 1-B. Currently the board have been holding frequent meetings concerning the welfare of their students, and not without investigation. Sakio would often be found smirking the next day after these meetings. He was controlling the arguments, especially participating in the board's investigation towards the conduct of their M.I.A. student Naruto.

He was the reason for the fights.

He was the reason for the two Yakuza appearing on school grounds.

He was the reason for the four-fingered chinpira stalking their female students.

And now he was the reason for Hinata's public humiliation.

He turned to check up on her. She sat hunched forward, face in her hands, the hankerchief clutched in her slender fingers. She was quieter now, but the hurt was not gone.

Shikamaru didn't think it was a good idea for her to go to school today.

They arrived fifteen minutes late. Everyone was already in their classrooms.

Shikamaru escorted Hinata to the Infirmary. She was weak, her walking clumsy and aimless. She seemed to be in confusion, far too distracted by the war inside her heart that she couldn't make herself function normally.

Shizune was taken aback by their appearance as they entered.

Hinata was wide-eyed, ashen. Sweat filmed over her colorless face, and she moaned like a mute, seemingly pleading for help or crying to escape.

Hinata was seeing spots. Shadows covered her peripheral vision, and a fear struck her that god was stealing her breath to punish her. Her fingers tingled, went cold, then suddenly she couldn't feel her arms nor her face. Everything felt so far away, she couldn't touch anything anymore.

Shizune gingerly and nervously moved to take Hinata from Shikamaru, while Tsunade watched them from her desk, utterly dumbfounded.

"What is this now? What happened?" Tsunade barked unnecessarily at the exasperated Shikamaru.

"She's under a lot of stress." He sighed, muttering a casual 'troublesome' at the end. He tried to will the trembling in his hands to stop. He wiped the sweat off his palms on his pants, and shoved his hands in his pockets, but still they continued to tremble.

As soon as Shizune had sat Hinata down on the bed, the frail girl collasped backwards onto the mattress. A solemn, almost angry expression feel upon Tsunade as she walked out from her desk and marched over to the bed. Shikamaru swore he could feel flames radiating off of Tsunade. She had become intense.

Shizune worked off Hinata's indoor shoes and removed her school bag from her person and place her things on a chair by the bed. As Tsunade moved Hinata into a comfortable position she noticed that the young girl had passed out.

Her face was ruddy and stained with tear tracks. The pain within her heart shown upon her sleeping face.

Tsunade didn't understand this at all.

Terse, hushed voices spoke animatedly beyond her consciousness, their aura tense. Her eyes felt sore, but she knew where she was. She turned her head towards the voices, very lazily lifting her eyelids. Tsunade's silhouette stood closely by the curtain. She often moved around the Infirmary, but always strayed back to Hinata's bed. Shizune stayed a little ways from the bed, trying to reasonably confront Tsunade's irritation.

"Tsunade-hime, do you really think that'll be necessary? He could have just dropped out..."

"Dammit! Why the fuck isn't Jiraiya taking care of him? Why the hell did he let him come to Tokyo? He's supposed to be his guardian! He's supposed to be watching him, not letting him run loose!"

"Run loose?"

"He's his godfather! ... Dammit! You know what? I know where he is! I know where he is and I'm placing a Missing Persons Report to get him back here! Because I know Naruto! If he's not at school, he's SOMEWHERE ELSE! He's probably in Osaka again!"

"Naruto..." The name had bubbled up and oozed out of her mouth like the tears that begun to spill over into her ears and onto her hair. A tremor shook in her chest. She hiccupped quietly, fighting the involuntary sobs from bringing attention to herself. She inhaled and swallowed, inhaled and swallowed, inhaled and swallowed, trying to take deep breaths, trying to dissipate the sobs, trying to silence herself.

But the conversation beyond her sight ended abruptly, and the curtain was pulled aside. Hinata tossed her face away from Tsunade's and screamed at herself to get a grip and stop crying.

"Hyuuga-san." Tsunade addressed her gently, yet firmly as well as she hoped Hinata would turn to face her. "Does the light hurt your eyes?" Tsunade then asked, assuming she was photo-sensitive. She closed the curtain behind her, casting both of them shadow. Tsunade could see the girl's chest convulsing just barely beneath the sheets. Muffled cries escaped from her every now and then. Tsunade bent down to her level to speak more intimately to her. "Hyuuga-san, I believe you had a panic attack. Nara-san escorted you here, do you remember?"

"... y... yes."

"Do you remember what caused your attack?"

Hinata weakly shook her head. "I was... just trying n-not to cry... I hyperventilated..."

"..." Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the despondant young girl. She was trying to hold a strong front, but she had no reason to. "That's why you passed out. What was it that set off your attack?"

"..."

"Why were you crying then?"

It was that word, that place.

Osaka.

It had been a punch to the head, and two punches to her heart. What she suppressed to remember rushed up to the surface. It built up, burst open, broke her apart, shattered her to pieces. She found herself drowning in his liquid again. The world was drowning too, blurry, watery, and indistinct.

It weighed down on her knowing she couldn't stop the flow.

It pissed her off knowing she couldn't get dry.

"..." Hinata closed her eyes and continued to choose silence. Tsunade sighed and got up.

"Hyuuga-san, you must at least find a healthy way to deal with your stress. You can't expect to keep it all in and remain fine. It's going to find a way out, just like it did this morning."

The curtain closed, cutting Hinata off from everyone again. Shizune wordlessly asked Tsunade about Hinata's condition, recieving muttered concerns as they took their conversation away from Hinata's prescence.

Warmth left her as their prescences had, leaving Hinata to deal with the needles in her head.

She didn't know what to do with herself.

She glanced down at her right hand, fingers clutched tightly around a moist cloth.

She still had Nara-san's hankerchief.

Shikamaru returned to the Infirmary during lunch hour, with Kiba and Shino following behind. Kiba resisted the urge to look foolish by running.

Shikamaru told him she had a break down. He'd been wracking his brain earlier wondering why she never showed up to class. He wondered what the hell could have sparked this for her.

As soon as they had entered the office, Tsunade looked up, a wry and humorous smirk playing on her lips.

"Suitors?" She proposed jokefully at the three boys come to see Hinata.

"N-No!" Sputtered a blushing, huffing, wide-eyed Kiba, who was the only one gullible enough to reply.

"Alright, who wants to see her first?" Tsunade asked coolly as she leaned back in her little office chair. Shino and Shikamaru both silently pointed at Kiba. Tsunade laughed at this slightly and ushered him closer. She stood from her desk and walked over to the sterile white curtain protecting the cursed princess. Kiba looked into her quiet face, the barest of grimaces revealing to him the discomfort of her earlier confusion.

Tsunade closed the curtain and allowed them to talk.

The air between them felt light and heavy at the same time, the fluorescent lighting muted behind the curtains. They could hear one another's breathing, steady and comfortable, like the soft breathing of a sleeping baby.

Hinata could feel the heaviness surrounding Kiba. He worried so much over her, it wasn't fair for him to suffer like this, in a turmoil created by her own. Yet like the touch of hands, it endeared her and she couldn't help but smile a little in her state of calm.

Hinata turned her face towards Kiba, and threw her hand out towards him. He hesitated for a few seconds at first, before gingerly cradling her hand between his own. The warmth of his blood radiating through her muscles, his pulsed seeped into hers.

It was then Hinata began to witness the responsibility of a heart.

"What happened?"

"I tried not to cry in front of Nara-san, s-so... I-I ended up hyperventilating and... I passed out." Hinata downplayed it. She didn't think she could handle retelling her experiences.

"Why were you crying?"

"..." Hinata knew what to say, but she disliked to say it. She wondered if she could bear the responsibility of Kiba's heart. "... I'm just stressed out."

"Shino-kun." Hinata smiled, causing him to instinctively take a step backwards, but his conscious brain reminded him to step forward, and he did this short awkward dance before finally sitting down.

"Hyuuga-san." He curtly nodded, eliciting a tiny laugh from his classmate.

Shino found he had nothing to say, not that he ever said much to begin with.

"You seem better now." Shikamaru flatly commented, slouching with his hands in his pockets. Yet despite his aloof exterior, he felt relief to see Hinata calm again. Also he was thankful he hands stopped shaking a couple hours ago. That panic attack of hers was one of the scariest things he'd ever seen. Even scarier than his mother's temper.

Hinata still felt rather embarassed in his prescence, but also grateful. She forced a smile in hopes the whole thing would be forgotten.

Hinata glanced down at her hand and found the hankerchief he had lent her to be all crumpled and stained with tears and palm sweat (and -what she feared- probably a bit of snot too).

"A- Anou... I'm sorry to have ruined your hankerchief, Nara-san."

"It's alright, don't worry about it."

"I-I'll wash it as soon I get home and I'll return it to you tomorrow-!" She blurted out sheepishly, her face burning warm.

He smiled and shook his head with a lazy laugh. "It's fine, really." Shikamaru touched the back of his neck and glanced up at the ceiling, a thought passing through his head. He sighed, always the exasperated one. "...Actually... maybe that would be a good idea. I don't think Temari would appreciate knowing I lent her hankerchief to a classmate." Now it was his turn to feel embarassed.

"O-Oh... I-I see..."

"Yeah..."

Hinata felt the loneliness drape over her second by second.

The boys had left a little over an hour ago. She remembered hearing Kiba muttering to Shino that she couldn't be left alone. Tsunade gave her a dubious look at his words, and asked her if he was reasonable.

He might have been.

As an introvert she spent far too much time dwelling on errant thoughts, and naturally she didn't share her troubles.

"Find a healthy way to deal with your stress. You can't expect to keep it all in and remain fine. It's going to find a way out, just like it did this morning."

But with role-playing on the bridge every sunday gone, she was left with no back-up plan, no hobbies.

A couple months ago, her time spent with Naruto had been like seven sundays put in one afternoon. She never felt so splendid so easily before. She readily replaced role-playing for him, mistakenly replaced her friends for him.

Now he was the cause of her stress.

Now... if she didn't figure something out soon... he would be the cause of many more panic attacks.

Star - Next chapter will be more exciting! The next arc begins alas, whoo-hoo! PM me if you want to leave a review. T.T

REVIEWS ARE STILL APPRECIATED! (don't make the puppies cry okay? XP)

Liner Notes:

- "Tera Moesu" : Moesu is an amount of 'moe', and Tera is a unit for 'moe' meaning Trillion. So 'Tera moesu' is to have 'one trillion moesu' or having an immense feeling of 'moe', as in a trillion. (learned for Fujoshi Rumi. Hooray for that cute manga and it's occasional lesbianism! Laaa!)

- Coldrain : J-Rock screamo band that I don't know nearly enough about. (damn you wikipedia! someone learn about these people for me, please!) (the one dialogue from Masato is completely fictional and derived out of artistic liscence. I did my best with what I had, and all I has is youtube)