So you might be wondering why I am posting this today, on a Friday. Well I kind of, accidentally, unexpectedly finished this on Monday night. There I was ploughing my way through chapter thirty –six expecting to have at least four more chapters to write only to find that by half way through I realised that this was the end chapter. I don't think I could have written any more than that and made it feasible and actually good. And I have to say it is my favourite chapter of the whole story that I have wrote.
You're probably going, 'well why did it take you until today to post again if you've finished it all?' or probably not but anyway, I had one last idea in my mind that I'd had from the very beginning, I had a scene in my head that I'd had that fuelled the whole story, or at least the beginning. I've written it. It's short and very smutty and I'll add it on as a kind of...closing piece? I don't know, but never mind, I'm now rambling.
I'll explain everything in the last chapter, why I've missed bits out and such and what I'm going to do next. Any questions that you want to ask, ask them now and in chapter 36. I'll answer them in the short smutty end part. I'll post the next chapter, probably Sunday, chapter 36 on Monday and the last on Wednesday.
Just one last thing, went to see the last HP today. Cried all the way through and that's all I've got to say on the matter just now, I'm still a little fragile about the whole thing.
Enjoy and thank you, as always for sticking around.
Part 34
"Harry? Harry, wake up," Draco whispered close to Harry's ear as he rubbed at his left eye with his free hand, rubbing the sleep out of it enough so that he could see his watch and what time it was. Harry mumbled something incoherent into Draco's shoulder and snuggled closer.
"No really, dinner started five minutes ago," Draco said. He'd never seen Harry move so fast, when he wasn't on a broom. He sat up quickly and looked around him, his eyes and hair wild as if he was missing an important test. Draco chuckled and slowly sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed.
"Ugh, I don't know why I'm so sleepy," Harry said, rubbing the bridge of his nose where his glasses had dug in while he had been sleeping. He followed Draco up and over to the urn to collect their now dry and warm jumpers.
"Hmm, me too, probably all the snowball throwing we did," Draco said with a smirk and sly look over at Harry.
Harry raised his eyebrows at him. "You mean that I did, you let your wand do all the work," Harry said and noticed the colour tint Draco's cheeks even though he was scowling at him.
"Whatever," Draco said pulling his jumper over his head and slipping a new pair of shoes on, other than the ones he had been wearing earlier that were still damp on the inside. "Come on I want to be able to get something to eat, I'm starved," Draco said. He ran his hand through his hair a few times so that it didn't look quite so dishevelled, and then did the same to Harry's since he made no attempt himself. Harry let him, knowing the attempt was futile anyway.
Draco's frustration started to show on his face as he couldn't get Harry's hair to sit like he wanted it to and eventually Harry had to bat his hands away and remind him they wanted to get down to dinner at some point that night. Draco sighed and was persuaded into agreeing by the rumbling noise that came from his stomach.
As soon as they walked into the great hall together, all eyes turned to them. Harry was used to having the majority of the attention on him so he was able to ignore it and sit down without a fuss. Draco wasn't quite as accustomed to the staring and so repaid it with a fierce scowl, that seemed to do the trick.
"Are you sure you wanted to go through with all of this?" Draco asked gently as they took their seats next to each other.
"They all already know that we are friends now. Whatever that Slytherin girl spreads isn't going to make a difference," Harry said quietly to stop from being over heard. He helped himself to potatoes and sausages.
Draco nodded and piled his plate with food, also, clearly very hungry like he had said. They ate in silence, the whole room felt very quiet compared to normal, most students eating on their own, having no friends out of their own house, or whispering between one another, in fear of being over heard in the unusual quiet atmosphere.
Eventually they were the last ones at the table, having been the last ones to arrive at dinner and start eating. McGonagall and Flitwick were the only teachers that had stayed during the holiday's, clearly having the obligation to do so being the heads of the school and were in a deep conversation at the top of the table a substantial distance away from Harry and Draco.
"Are we going to meet tonight in the bathroom?" Harry asked as he dropped his spoon into his bowl having polished off his rhubarb pie and custard at a lightening speed.
"Yeah, how about a little earlier though, at about seven instead?" Draco asked. Harry paused for a just a second, going through his mental diary to make sure that would be okay before he realised he had no plans for the next two weeks apart from spending as much of it with Draco as he could and he agreed.
"Sure,"
"Then we can go back to my dorm and spend some time there. Make sure you have your cloak with you though, I suspect my housemates won't be quite so naive about you sneaking in at that time of night," Draco said.
"Of course," Harry said with a smirk. He had turned to face Draco and watch as he finished off his chocolate cake. He wanted to pull him closer and kiss the top of his head but he knew it was inappropriate, and would have been even if McGonagall and Flitwick knew about them. It didn't stop him from wanting to do it and it kind of concerned him about how close he wanted to be to Draco, all the time.
Draco heaved a content sigh and smiled across at Harry. "I'll see you in a few hours then?"
"Yeah. Until then," Harry said. He squeezed Draco's leg under the table and they rose together. Draco straightened his clothes and slowly walked a step or two behind Harry.
Harry squeezed Draco's shoulder and Draco's hand lingered around Harry's lower back and that was all they were prepared to share around in public. They separated, Harry going up the stairs and Draco going back down towards the dungeons.
Harry relaxed back against the side of the bath and let a sigh out as his eyes started to go together. Even though he'd had that nap with Draco earlier that day he still felt rather sleepy, especially when surrounded by hot soapy water. He had spent the remainder of the evening in the Gryffindor common room, reading a Quidditch book Hermione had left for him by the fire and playing chess with a fourth year that was trying to play on his own, because he had no friends staying with him over the holidays.
He was bored and so that resulted in him becoming sleepy. He had also been unable to think about Draco since he left him on the staircase and he found it difficult to think about anything else, hence why he lost the chess games to the fourth year that wasn't even that good, if he was being quite honest. He thought it was pretty much clear, to himself at least, that he was falling in love with Draco Malfoy, no matter how scary that concept seemed, he couldn't deny it.
He must have blocked out all noise while pondering over that fact as the next thing he knew cold fingertips skipped across his shoulders and a warm kiss was placed on the top of his head. He smiled and tilted his head back to see Draco grinning at him and to receive an upside down kiss.
"Have you been here long?" Draco asked as he started to shed his clothes and Harry turned to face him, finally finding enough energy to keep his eyes open now that Draco was here.
"Not too long," Harry said, even though he actually had no idea how long he had been there, all perception of time out the window.
Draco nodded and shed the rest of his clothes and left them in a neat pile next to Harry's messy one. He slipped into the water next to Harry and then did a couple of laps of the bath, Harry watching with an amused smile.
"What do you suggest we do tonight then?" Draco asked once he had returned to Harry and propped himself up on his elbows on the side of the bath.
"Hmm, I don't know. We're going to be in your dorm so I think it should be up to you to decide," Harry said.
"You might regret letting me decide," Draco said with a smirk.
"Doubt it. I think I'm ready for just about anything you might throw at me," Harry said, without missing a beat in responding.
"You're definitely going to regret telling me that," Draco smirked.
"I really don't think I will," Harry said. Draco frowned and took extra care in studying Harry's expression and eyes. His cheeks blossomed with colour and he shifted his glance down to the bubbles around them.
"I think I've ever wanted to finish bathing with you so quickly before," Draco said simply, anticipation lacing his voice.
"Well, I suggest we hurry up and get clean then," Harry said. They looked at each other and Harry took the decision upon himself to fill his hand with shampoo and start to wash his hair. They stayed silent as they washed quicker than they ever had thought possible. Harry's heart was hammering in his chest as his anxiety and excitement built within him.
They'd barely even reached Draco's dorm before Harry was pulling off his cloak and Draco was pushing him up against the wall. The force of Draco's push and weight against his chest knocked all of the air out of him and he found it even more difficult to breath through their kiss. Their hands were clawing at each others clothes, trying to get them off as quickly as possible, as if their lives depended on it.
"I thought the whole point of being in here was to use a bed for once," Harry whispered when they finally emerged for breath. Draco smirked, pushing Harry's hair back and grasping his hand with his other one, pulling him towards the bed they had napped in earlier.
"Good point," Draco said, turning them and pushing Harry onto the bed first and quickly pulling his shirt over his head. Harry shed his own shirt and was working on his belt buckle when Draco took it into his own hands, himself in just his underwear and nudging his nose against Harry's chin and kissing along his jaw.
Somewhere along the way they repositioned themselves and Draco settled between Harry's thighs, hands and fingertips brushing across every piece of skin that was accessible. Even though it was the middle of winter and they were in the dungeons almost completely naked, it felt stiflingly warm. Their breaths were mingled and there was a thin sheen of sweat covering each of them.
"Was this what you had in mind?" Harry asked, his eyelids heavy as he peered up at Draco, hovering above him. He'd never seen so much expression in someone else's eyes, never mind in Draco's before, he could almost feel himself melting into the bed.
"Something like it," Draco said and caught Harry's bottom lip in his teeth and sucked on it, his hand palmed Harry through his boxers and had him whimpering and arching into his touch. Harry was quite happy to let Draco take control, considering he didn't have a wide range of experience to know exactly what he was doing, it was pretty much the only time in their relationship so far that he was willing to give up the control without a fight.
Draco's fingernails scraped across Harry's hipbones as he pulled down his underwear, following it with kisses, wet sloppy messy kisses but kisses none the less. He disregarded Harry's boxers, dropping them down the side of the bed and moved his kisses to the inside of Harry's thighs. Harry's breathing was catching in his throat as he tried to keep himself from too carried away too soon.
"Do you- Do you want to?" Draco asked, looking up at Harry from between his thighs, his breath brushing over the sensitive skin there, almost giving Harry goose bumps.
All Harry needed to and could do was nod and Draco smiled gently before reaching up and over to his bedside cabinet. Harry's hands travelled down Draco's back as he waited and looked up at the canopy above him, wondering if this was really what he was ready for yet.
Draco kissed him again, bringing his attention back and making him forget about what exactly he had even been thinking and worrying about. Harry felt Draco's long fingers wrap around his cock and arched his back again, his lips separating from Draco's because of the new angle, Draco taking advantage to kiss his neck instead. It wasn't until he felt a cold wet sensation follow the warmth of Draco's hand before he frowned in slight confusion and looked down upon them.
"Wh-what are you doing?" Harry asked as he saw Draco's hand glide over him.
"Even I know you're not that niave Harry," Draco smirked.
"But I thought...?" Harry started, his frown deepening as he tried to think through what was happening.
"I know, and I thought this way would be a bit easier on you. I've done this before, you haven't. I don't want the first time for you to be marred by the pain," Draco explained simply, his hand gliding up and down Harry's cock while he was watching him, but Harry couldn't really spend much of his time enjoying it as his thoughts had gone ahead on a different path.
"Am I going to 'cause you pain?" Harry asked, biting down on his bottom lip, not to hold back moans like Draco presumed but because he was a mixture of nervous and extremely unsure.
"Probably a little but it's okay, it goes away," Draco said. He was frowning at Harry now, wondering why he was asking all the questions and not getting carried away like Draco would have preferred him to be doing. "Look, just let me take the lead here and we'll go as slowly as you like, okay?" Draco said. He let go of Harry and moved back up to his face to kiss him again. Harry kissed back and tried to ignore the insistent niggling in the back of his mind.
Draco flipped them so that Harry was hovering above him, and spread his legs. Harry broke the kiss to look down upon the both of them, his breathing shaky and his cock betraying his strong lack of confidence. Draco meanwhile took his right hand and started to coat his fingers with the same cold liquid that was spread over Harry. Harry tasted blood as he managed to bite through his lip, he was chewing on it that hard.
"Just-Just do it Harry, please," Draco said, cupping the side of Harry's face so that they could look at each other. Harry nodded once and moved his fingers down the Draco's pulsing arsehole. He slowly pushed his first finger forwards, stopping as soon as he felt resistance and Draco had to reassure him again that it was okay and he just had to keep going.
Draco was still smiling when he had pushed his first two fingers in and it gave Harry a bit more confidence in not hurting him, only when he had pushed his third finger forward and Draco closed his eyes and gritted his teeth that Harry went to remove them all at once. Draco grabbed his wrist to keep it where it was.
"Don't-I-I'll be okay in a- ah- minute," Draco said, his eyes screwed even tighter and small whimpering noises coming from him. When Harry saw the moisture building up in Draco's eyes when he squinted at Harry, he decided he couldn't go on any further. He shook his head and slowly withdrew his fingers.
"I-I can't Draco. I don't want to hurt you," Harry said sitting back on his heels. Draco looked a mixture between disappointed and annoyed as he propped himself up on his elbows, and it unsettled Harry even more.
"You're not, or at least you wouldn't be if you'd just let me get used to it. Look I'm ready now anyway- just let me do it," Draco said, pushing Harry back onto his back and straddling him. When Draco reached behind him to find Harry's cock to position it he frowned when he found Harry had lost all sense of arousal.
"You-? That made you-?" Draco stuttered and his shoulders sagged and he now looked more hurt than anything else.
"I'm sorry Draco I just- I couldn't hurt you," Harry said. Draco continued to stare at him for a moment longer before he silently nodded and clambered off of Harry's hips and the bed. Harry immediately sat up to apologise again but Draco cut in before him.
"It's okay. I understand," Draco said. He picked up his boxers from the floor and clambered over the rest of their clothes and into the bathroom, shutting the door with a snap behind him.
Harry collapsed back onto the bed, his hands over his face and groaned into them. He was such an idiot. He should have known Draco would react that way. He really couldn't help it though, the thought of hurting Draco like that, made his chest tighten, and even though he knew sex would be good for them eventually, he obviously just wasn't quite ready for that yet.
He pulled on his boxers after about five minute of Draco still not emerging from the bathroom and decided he would probably be best going back to his dorm for the night. He was half way through buttoning up his shirt and thinking about how he could word what he would say to Draco when the man himself finally came out of the bathroom, a lot less flushed and smiling softly.
"What are you doing?" Draco asked, frowning, with hurt creeping back into his eyes.
"I thought I would probably be best to go back to my dorm," Harry said, pausing in pulling his shoes towards him because of the look on Draco's face as he said this.
"Why?" he whispered and Harry noticed him swallow thickly.
"I-I thought you wouldn't want me to stick around after that," Harry said quietly back.
"I don't want you to leave tonight," Draco said, whispering still and his eyes fluttered a little as he came to sit down next to Harry.
"But you must hate me for-"
"I don't hate you. I understand. You're not ready and that's fine. We'll take all time you need," Draco said and let his hand slither to the back of Harry's neck and pecked him on the forehead, just to the left of his scar. "Now take off your clothes and get into bed with me," Harry opened his mouth to respond but Draco took that moment to place a kiss upon it instead. "If you dare ask if I'm sure I will hex you in your sleep," he warned after their kiss.
Harry smiled softly, stayed silent and got undressed again like he had been asked. Draco had settled under the covers in the meantime and opened his arms for Harry when he was ready. Draco's head settled on Harry's shoulder and he flicked his wand to turn off the lights, bathing them in darkness instead. They lay silent for a long time, not sleeping but not speaking either, Harry unsure what to say in a situation like this and unsure if Draco really understood what was going on in his head that night, as he didn't have much of a good idea himself.
"I don't resent you for that you know Harry. I was hurt to begin with. Hurt and frustrated but I don't blame you. This whole relationship has been rushed and I took for granted that you'd be ready to have sex, purely because you had been so ready to do everything else. I should have realised that you needed more time and practice, for that I'm sorry," Draco said slowly, quietly, not completely sure if Harry was even still awake, unable to look at him out of embarrassment to check.
"I didn't even realise that I wasn't ready so I didn't expect you to either. I'm sorry for leading you on that far only to let you down. Trust me though, as soon as I am ready, you'll be the first one to know," Harry said, gently running his fingers through the silky golden locks of hair on Draco's head.
"Of course," Draco said gently, his voice starting to sound a little sleepy.
They sat in silence a little longer and Harry thought Draco had fallen asleep as he stared up at the canopy finding it difficult to keep his own eyes open, but his mind still buzzing with what happened that night. It was for the best, he decided in the end. If they had gone ahead then he would have felt guilty the whole time and forever after also.
"Harry?" Draco whispered and Harry's eyes sprang open again in time for him to 'Mmm' in response to Draco. He cuddled closer, pressing his fingers in to Harry's side and squeezing tighter for just a second. "I'm glad you stayed,"
"Me too," Harry muttered and shuffled further down the bed, under the covers and let his eyes fall shut, falling asleep to Draco's breath ghosting over his chest and his heart beat pounding on the wrong side of his ribcage.