Now that I am in very good spirits I would like to thank each and every one of you for continuing to read this boring story through every chapter! I doff my cap to all of you and I can't even tell you how much I am grateful!

And a very, very big thanks to xoloveJBox who is the most darling person I have ever known (she has some pretty legit stories. no lie. totally worth reading!) as well as sweetkiwi6 04 who has taken her time to give me advice (you should totally read her stories too! It'll make you laugh so hard!)!

I sat in the back seat in silence, the hood of my sweatshirt pulled deep over my eyes. Dean had turned on the radio as soon as he had had the engine rolling and the familiar music droned on and on and on…AC/DC, Blue Oyster Cult, Bon Jovi, Zeppelin, Metallica, Black Sabbath—this is what I grew up with. And even though that music wasn't necessarily my cup of vodka, it still sent a warm sense of security down my being. It was still weird implication of want—an odd feeling one gets when they love something so much that they could die filled with the ecstasy of the greatness of such a thing. That was what I felt about the music that Dean had on…that was what I felt about the family that I was losing so quickly.

"You really think we should do this to her?" Sam asked from the front seat when the purr of the Impala's engine had ceased. I heard Dean sigh, pulling out the keys from the ignition with a zinging sound. "Dean. I don't think that this is a good idea."

"Sam," My brother groaned. "she's not eating, she barely sleeps and she drinks more than what's good for her. Trust me, she'll thank us when this is over."

"That's just my point, Dean. She said it was over—she said she had nothing to say."

"Yeah, she says that all the time, Sam. You would know that if you had to take her crap for four extra months. She's not okay. She needs to talk to someone and if she won't talk to us then she's talking to him."

"I still don't like this." Sam growled, harshly putting all his weight against the door to the Impala before stepping out.

"Monkee?" Dean mumbled, gently shaking me awake.

"Uhm?" I genuinely yawned, slipping my hood off over my face and looking up at his face which held a subtle sympathy. "Where are we?"

"Trust me," Dean said, stepping out of the car himself. "you'll thank me when this is over." I looked out of the window and saw the large sign to the Roadhouse.

"You have got to be kidding me, Dean!" I shouted, stumbling out to my feet and trying to look as vicious as I could manage. "Why don't you ever listen to me?" My older brother tried pulling me into an embrace but I snapped away, glaring at his meaningful face.

"I just wanted you to be happy, Max."

"I am happy Dean!" I hissed. "Are you?"

"Just get in there, monkee," He said gently, pleading for me just to listen to him this once.

"I have nothing to say to him, Dean. Just remember that."

I hadn't seen Ash a good five years. And now, with Adam dead and my whole world crashing down I figured that I could lie down on the cold ground and hope that he would pick me up in his warm arms and tell me that everything would be okay.

The Roadhouse was fairly busy when I entered. I'm sure I looked terrible—all tired and dewy eyed. My eyes jumped to every face trying to find the eyes that I truly wanted to meet. And there he was, standing up right at the end of the room with a pool cue in his hand and a knowing smile on his mouth. He walked forward, meeting me halfway up the length of the room.

"Winchester," He said coolly, sending a shiver run down my back as if the bus driver had just turned the air conditioning on an all-time high.

"Can we talk in the back?" I refused to meet his eyes as we walked to a secluded corner of the kitchen, away from the eyes of Jo or Ellen.

"Anything else you wanna do in that back?" Trying to hide a smile that played at my face, I stood against the wall, looking up and laughing, unable to keep a serious face any longer which reaching up and rubbing my fingers against the small braid that ran down his hair.

"What happened to your hair?" Ash smiled at my touch, brushing his own fingers against my cheekbone. My head cocked to the side, biting the inside of my lip as I slightly inched up on my toes.

"Did you just come here to say hi, pudding?" He asked, his eyes sparkling with a wonderful intensity that made an eruption of fire churn in the pit of my stomach that sent a sensitive twinge of lust go down my body.

"Ash," I began, trying my hardest to resist this temptation.

"Yes?"

"Ash," My breathing slowed as I sank against the wall. "Ash, I came here to say goodbye."

"What are you talking about, Max?" I licked my lips, trying to find the right words to say.

"It goes like this: you and I…we've had our good times…we can't be what we were in college, Ash." He knit his eyebrows together, his face twisted as if he was in pain. "I never wanted this for you, Miles." That was his real name…Miles. And when Ash heard me say that he took a step back, looking me over and nodding in acceptation.

"I wouldn't want to hurt you, Max."

"Ash, I loved you but there's someone else."

…

"So, how'd it go?" Dean asked, leaning against the hood of the Impala with his hands stuffed in the pocket of his leather jacket. I shrugged, looking up at the darkening sky and hoping that Cas would come around soon. Sam was asleep in the back seat so I walked around the long, black car and slid into the passenger's seat, Dean following close behind me.

"That bad, huh?" He started the engine and slowly pulled out onto the dirt road.

"Nope," I shrugged again, looking out of the windshield and into the thicket of trees ahead. "I told him the truth and he understood. I did what you told me to do Dean…just like I always do." Just like a toy soldier. "Hey, Dean?"

"Yeah, monkee?"

"Thank you."