Counselor
"...And this is more or less the fucking problem."
Schuldig wasn't in a good mood. That was pretty obvious to Yohji. The telepath struck the nearest wall with his fist and Yohji repressed a flinch at the gratuitous violence, unable to do much more, efficiently tied down to the chair as he was.
"So, if I've understood correctly," the white hunter started, after nervously clearing his throat, "he doesn't give in because he's afraid that once you've gotten – and I quote your words here – his 'icy ass' and taken down his barriers, you'll lose interest and stop wanting him, since you're only in love wi--"
"In lust," Schuldig sternly corrected.
"--In whatever with the damned challenge and not with him, right?"
Schuldig nodded.
Yohji sighed and wriggled a bit, trying to alleviate the tension that the forced position loaded his shoulders with.
"And you don't give in because you're afraid that he'll discover that, behind all your willfulness and defiance there's just a person, and once he thinks he's tamed you, he won't want your ass anymore, since he's in lo--I mean, in whatever--with the conquering and domineering and not with you. Am I right?"
Schuldig was frowning.
"More or less. You sound a bit more like me and a bit less like yourself... am I projecting again?"
Yohji ignored him and spoke on.
"So you've decided to kidnap me and tie me to a fucking chair only to ask me what you should do about your and Crawford's blue balls..."
"Okay, now I'm sure. I'm projecting."
Maybe Schuldig was right, because he was feeling less scared and more furious by the second. Yohji didn't let that knowledge deter him. If anything, the bits of Schuldig's personality that he was receiving only made him bolder.
"Did you want my advice? I'll give you my advice: You and Crawford, get a damned room and get over it already. You're not five, for God's sake. If after that, you're still in whatever--"
"I don't like your ironic tone there, Balinese."
"--then it's fine, you've won the jackpot and achieved your eternal, true whatever. If not, it's fine, too, since you've gotten it out of your systems and can continue with your plans of world domination. So, now that the problem is solved and I've enlightened your marital life, could you please untie me and let me go?"
With narrowed eyes, Schuldig pondered what to do next. Overlooking Yohji's insolence (it was his own, after all), he decided to let the kitten live. He liked Yohji far better than half his patrons, after all.
"Nah," the telepath refused as he walked towards the exit, "an assassin whose weapon of choice is a long wire is not worth his salt if he cannot undo some easy knots."
Finally reaching the door, Schuldig turned to smirk at him one last time.
"See you around, Balinese."
Walking away, Schuldig's grin got wider as he heard Yohji desperately butcher his name with his horrible Japanese accent.
Yes, Yohji was far more amusing alive.