The boy was barely alive anymore but he still enjoyed the touch, each moment he was held he grew more and more comfortable. He smiled, a last smile. A deathly smile. It was content, yet still somehow sad.
"Ciel.. please don't go." He whispered sadly as he stumbled along through the forest back on the world above, searching for the hounds.
The dogs smelt the demons dying lord before they sore him, readying themselves for whatever came. The Alfa moved forward, ready to greet Sebastian one way or anouther.
Sebastian laid Ciel down carefully and bowed to the alpha male hound quickly, to show his respect. "The creature... is dead."
"so is this boy, it seems." the demon huffed, pulling back slightly at the sent. "he reeks of death... And demon blood..."
"You owe me." Sebastian grunted, laying slightly over the boy protectively and with a growl. "I killed the creature who drove you away and killed your forest.. it was a fallen angel.. you didn't realize it because the blasted thing used its illusions and pretended to be one of you, wounded, to lure you off from the pack and kill you each. It's dead.. your forest is yours again.. and you owe me."
The demon bowed it's head slowly, carefully. "we owe you a debt, that is true, but do not disrestpect me by shielding the boy as though we would shred him! I would not!"
"It is not you I am worried about." He apologized. "The other demons nearby will smell his blood." He said. "I don't want to leave him even for a second." he murmured. "You can pay your debt to me by helping him live.. your medicine is the strongest there is."
The demon nodded slowly and turned to the huge white female who nodded and changed form, moving towards the boy but stopping before touching him, waiting for the demon to move off of the little earls body.
"my life mate is a better healer then I. Let her see him."
Sebastian drew back slowly, revealing Ciel's tiny body. "Please." He murmured, giving the other demon plenty of room. "I also have a bit of advice.." He said to the male. "Your pack should come up with a sort of.. code.. to tell one another apart from any false creatures, in case another ever shows up. They are weak. They use illusions to torture you and trick you to be weaker, without them, they're a regular, weak demon."
The Alfa flicked its tail. "it is an idea... If we can find a way... Our noses wont be fooled... We will use that, instaid of our eyes." the demon looked carefully over his bride. The female demon looked back to her mate, there eyes talking for a moment before she reached over, stripping the boy slowly and inspecting his wounds, pressing her delicate clawed hands over the wound heavily then looking back over to her mate.
"she says he is gone. His heart is in the process of stopping as we speak. He needs medicine we can get, but he is human, it will kill him."
"You can't just give up on him! I once kept him breathing, his heart beating, for over six hours! I know this looks bad, but he's not ready to go yet.. it's not his time, it's not.. please, try anything.. he's had demon medicine already, maybe it won't kill him."
The Alfa looked back at the remaining two adults who disappeared quickly. "they will get it, if you promise not to retaliate if he passes." the hound offered, "humans are fragile things... They aren't meant to last..."
The female looked up at Sebastian shyly, trying her best to be submissive though as an alfa it was not in her nature, it was only that the boy was something that did not belong other that she was respectful, yet at the same time she was also not as affective in treating him as she could be if she was more rough. Looking down at the boy she gently blew air over his nose, making him gasp lightly, taking a useful, deep breath.
"I won't retaliate." Sebastian promised, sighing out. "Just try your best, that's all I want.. He deserves every bit of effort that is possible. I can't just let him die without trying everything there is."
The female nodded and blew over his nose again. "hmpf. She feels for the boy... She held the young as they died... Young we could not saved... My dear sister... Only fifty of your human years of age... Dead... A demon... Stronger then this boy... He rejected the medicine, far to young to take it... She had shakes... Great shakes... Then passed... It was a quiet death... But a good death..."
"I appreciate it.. i'm sure he does as well. His mother is dead, this child's been without family for quite some time. If he does die, it is better with someone softer then a blood covered demon." He shrugged, frowning. "Thank you."
The boy shuddered, his hand flinching. He wanted to swat her away, but the annoying action was causing him to breath. The female demon gave a little whine, seeing what he was trying to do and moving back, looking at Sebastian as if asking permission. Her unspoken language was almost certainly lost on the raven, but She was trying regardless.
"What is it?" he asked, confused, the look just confusing him. He looked to Ciel, and his small hand swatting or attempting to, rather. "Do you want me to hold him down?"
The female didn't want that, only wanting permission to continue. She looked up at the Alfa, wanting him to talk for her. She was not accustom to even the demon old language, English and the rough and broken half hound, half old language was to much for her.
"she wants to know if she can continue." he explained patiently, "he is resisting. But he needs to be still, he is draining his strength."
Sebastian nodded, deciding then he would ask Pluto to teach him to speak their language, or he'd find out how himself. "Yes, she has my permission to help him in any way that she can."
The girl moved forward pressing down on the wound and trying to stop the bleeding and blowing on his nose. "calm him, tension will leach him faster, he only has moments as it is."
He scrambled to the boy's side and took his hand, squeezing his fingers and raising them to his lips, kissing his fingers. "Ciel.. shh.. it's okay." He cooed, running his other fingers through his hair. "I'm here."
As the boy calmed the hunters returned, one with a pile of leaves and bark the other with a lump of flesh and organs. They dropped them in a heap and set them on fire. The female demon looked to Sebastian, trying to explain briefly before giving up and taking his hand, putting it over the boys wound and making him press heavily.
The raven followed her 'instructions', pressing hard on Ciel's chest where the alpha female had placed his hand. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, hoping that whatever they were doing was going to work. He didn't know if he was honestly ready to say good bye to the boy yet.
The female took a deep breath of the smoke, moving back to the boy and waiting for him to start to breath the quickly pinched his nose and opened his mouth pushing the smoke into the boys lungs in a very slow breath. She pulled away, waited for a moment then went back to the fire once more.
Sebastian didn't understand what was going on, and under his knowledge knew smoke was bad for human lungs, but he was unfamiliar with how this kind of healing went. So he remained quiet, and watched the other inhuman creature work. It was a one time very personal way to learn about them after all.
The demon gave a few more breaths of smoke then she moved Sebastian's hand to see how it was working. Sure enough the bleeding had stopped, yet his heart was still beating. She looked up at the older demon, then back to the Alfa. "she asks if this boy is your life mate." he stated simply, "this next part, can only be done with the permission of a life mate or the Alfa... As it brings death as often as life... But humans have no such thing... We die when our life mate dies... Humans have nothing like that... "
"My life mate?" He mumbled, looking away from the demon to survey Ciel and his innocent, sleep-like look. "I.. yes.. he is my life mate.. what do you- what does she, have to do to him?"
"she will push the ashes into the wound. It burns. It causes shakes. But if they survive it closes the wound. There will not even be a scar..."
He squeezed Ciel's hand tightly. That would hurt the Earl, quite a bit. It could kill him even. But at the same time, it could heal him. "Do it." He said finally, kissing the boy's cheek. "I'm always right here, Ciel. and I love you."
"say your goodbyes then." the alfa sat down, giving a nod to his mate to rushed back to the pile. Sebastian could tell she was getting shaky, the smoke was effecting her to, as she was healing the boy she was getting a heavy dose of the medicine, clouding her vision slightly with its pain dulling effects. She took the burning flesh and bark from the top where it had turned into a prouder, scooping it up flames and or and crushing it further before carrying it over to the boy and starting to push it into the wound.
Sebastian gave her room, but he stayed close, keeping Ciel's fingers in his grip and lowering his head, eyes closed. "Stay here with me, Ciel.. please."
The boy at first made some effort to get away, but then his strength failed him and he fell still. Breaths becomeing weaker and weaker. The human form of the white demon hound turned blue eyes up to sebastian. Then moved his other hand to hold the wound again. "it is tradition." the demon hound explained. "for the mate to hold ash in place as the shakes begun... To hold them to there body until death or life... She cannot do it... It is not her place... She will push more smoke into his lungs until it begins. It dulls the pain, the senses."
"You do this for all of your injured?" He asked, keeping his hand firmly in place, holding the warm ashes against Ciel's fragile chest. He felt so ignorant but also grateful to be included in the long standing traditions. He could only hope they would help bring the Earl back. "Life mate.. has a nice ring to it doesn't it, Ciel?" He said quietly, not even sure Ciel could hear.
"only to those so far gone they cannot injest medicine. It is for those who have no other option." the earl shudered slightly, starting to shake. "hold him. He will need your warmpth." the female pushed anouther breath but pulled away panting. "she is done, she cannot continue any longer. If her body is tired of the smoke his will not take anymore."
"Thank you." He said, moving to where the alpha female was, so he could hold Ciel better. "Is this all I do for him now? Just hold him and hope for the best?" He asked, wanting to follow their traditions to every detail. He cradled the boy and sighed softly. "I'll do whatever it is you request me to."
"that's it... He will start shaking soon, then he will wake up, or go quietly. It is painless." the female stumbled back and fell to the ground. Dizzy and disoriented. The alfa quickly moved to her side, touching his nose to hers affectionately. It was unmistakably like a kiss.
"That's all I ask for." He said, watching the two nuzzle fondly. "I will always be willing to help you from this point on.. with anything you need. Even if he dies, you helped him pass easier then I could have. I owe you so very much."
The female looked back for a moment before curling up, taking her canine form again to discourage attacks while she slept. "she tells me it is important to remember the sakes look painful, but he will feel nothing... They may last hours or if he is unlucky only moments... But he will not feel anything. He is already asleep, the smoke has dulled him, even if he wakes he will not suffer any pain, he will be awake, yet asleep for many days."
Sebastian nodded and shifted to get comfortable himself while he held the young human boy in his arms, keeping his palm firm against his chest. "Thank you.. really. I hope you return home soon.. the forest is so dead and barren without your tending to it."
The Alfa nodded and layed by his mate, putting his arm over her protectively so she could sleep easily.
It took half an hour before the boy begun to have a very violent seizure in the demons arms, and suddenly the 'shakes made sense'
Sebastian found it hard to watch the boy shake so, and wanted to let him lay on the ground, but he stayed firm, holding him tightly while he had the harsh fits. He had to trust that the demons were right, and he felt no pain despite how horrible they looked.
The boy vomited before he stopped, only a few moments of gasping came after before anouther fit started. Each one stopped his breathing for several minets and exhausted the boy.
Sebastian used his coat and wiped the mess from Ciel's mouth. It was getting increasingly more difficult to resist his instinct to start pumping his chest and breathing for him. But there were no other answers to this problem. He laid his head against Ciel's and sighed. "If you want to let go.. it's ok."
The boy was sleeping but as he came out of his fit again he heard Sebastian's words and smiles softly. 'thank you sebastain...'
He smiled faintly himself and held him to his chest, rubbing his back with the hand not against his wounds. "I love you. Whatever choice you make, i'll be by your side."
The peace lasted but a moment before his seizures begun again, vomiting once more. Each one lasted three or four minets and came one after anouther for hours. Each break was short lived, but there was no pain. Only numbness.
The raven sat against the tree with the boy, dutifully wiping his lips clean, or the sweat from his brow. He wasn't sure what he wanted for him, whether he wanted to be selfish and want him to suffer through and wake up and be alive, or finally have his peace and die with no pain.
The boy gurgled on for hours. Death drew close but seemed to stay away. The boy was entirely bare to the world, his wound almost disappearing slowly bur surely, fitting slowling down, longer and longer gaps in between. After one long fit however his breathing did not start again his already relaxed body stilling.
Sebastian's breath stopped in his throat, waiting, eyes transfixed on the young boy's limp body in his arms. He gulped and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Ciel.." He whispered, shaking him lightly. "You're..." He lowered his head and rested it against the crook of his neck. "Goodbye, Bocchan."
The little earl still heard the goodbye, forceing him to push himself harder in the darkness. Harder and harder until he took a deep breath. It would have been painful had he not been so numb from the medicine.
"I don't want a goodbye." He murmured, rocking his small frame back and forth. "I want to be selfish for once and make you stay with me.. Can't I be selfish just once? Why should I have to say goodbye to you? You can't just make a demon feel love and then go.. you can't do that. Come back to me." he cried against his skin, crying large tears as his body shuddered hard.
As the boy took in a deep breath, he straightened, tearful eyes widening. "Ciel? Are you really here?"
The boy gurgled. Shuddering. Death was upon him, thick in the smell of his body, but he continued to breath gentile, soft breaths, the seizures finally over and his body twitching as life came back to it. His eyes opened, slowly, dull orbs unfocused. He was asleep, awake but still not himself. Just as the hound said, he was pain free, more relaxed then any awake human should be.
"Ciel?" He half sobbed out his name, moving to cup his face. "Are you here? Really here?" He gripped him even tighter. "Oh God, come on, come back to me.. come back."
The boy didnt respond right away, his mind not processing what was being said quickly enough. Soon he gave a small smile, the ony thing he could manage to do.
The raven smiled tearfully and kissed his lips very briefly, brushing leaves, twigs and his hair away from his face. "There you are.. that perfect beautiful smile." He buried his face in his messy tangled raven hair and gently rocked the boy.
The boy gripped his demons shirt giving a gentile huff and closing his eyes. The wound on his cheat was gone, as though Sebastian's claws never tore into him. The little earl couldent feel much of anything, but the happy little sparks slowly came back, a buzz of energy between them.
Sebastian drew him up against his chest and wrapped both arms around him, crying affectionately against his shoulder. "You're the only thing I love, Ciel.. it scares me, more and more every day, but I want this. I don't ever want you to choose to leave."
The boy didnt quite understand and even when the words finally sunk in he could not speak, or move much at all his whole body feeling like dead weight in the demons arms.
"do not fear, he will be unable to speak or move for days..." the Alfa stated bluntly, "try and drip water into his mouth, and put sweet food into him, pass it through your mouth if you have to. Let him rest, the medicine needs to leave his system completely. Now take him away. It is to cold for him now, he cannot control his temperature on his own now. He will freeze to death even if it feels like a pleasent day to you." the hound closed its eyes and gave a little nod. "but the worst is over. You did well... My mate... So well... She will sleep for days too now..."
"Thank you.." Sebastian said as he shakily got to his feet, Ciel still firmly in his arms. He didn't know what else he could say to the two alpha hounds. There didn't seem to be any good choice of words in the circumstance. He nodded his head, a small bow of respect, and began the trek home to the mansion. Having Ciel alive and in his arms, and feeling the sparks again that disappeared altogether when he went dull and lifeless, was a feeling he'd never had before, a great relief. An incredible amount of horror and weight had dissipated from him. He was surprised at how many times the word Love had left his lips, but he was ready to say it all the time to Ciel. As long as he was okay. "We're going home now, Bocchan."
The boy rested his head on the demons shoulder. He had fraught off death and was completely exhausted. Even now he was so relaxed, so limp, he did not move at all when sebastain readjusted him, flopping around like a rag doll. It was scary exactly how lose his whole body was, it had not been that way, even when asleep, ever before.
"Just rest." Sebastian said, letting him rest his head on his shoulder. The manor was a familiar sight for sore eyes, and he could have kissed the carpet out of joy to see it again. He carried the boy inside and up to his room, pausing on the way there to bring with them a cup of cold water to drip into his mouth every little bit. "We're home." He cooed in the Earl's ear as he laid him against his soft blankets.
The small boy griped his butlers bloody shirt, not wanting to be let go. His frail hands where so week he barely held on and as he was put down he lost the strength to hold them there and they fell back to the little earls side uselessly.
Sebastian dropped his coat on the floor, and discarded his shoes, climbing onto the bed beside him. "I'm still here." He said to him, putting his arm around him, keeping him against his side for a bit. But he missed the full contact, and soon pulled Ciel back against his chest and into his arms, laying them both comfortably that way.
The boy was so quiet, even his breathing was quiet. It was hard to tell he was even alive in the state he was in. No human should ever lay that still. The medicine was beyond relaxing, relieving every bit of tension. Even his heart beat was slow, unnaturally slow, had a human doctor checked him they would say he was comatose and likely to die.
Sebastian didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say anyways. He just listened to the sound of his own soft breathing easily covering Ciel's quiet breaths, and kept his arms wrapped firmly round him.
The little earl couldent hold his own bladder or his temperature or anything for that matter. He wet himself yet again after almost a full hour and he felt chilled to touch. The hounds medicine had a high mortality rate for good reason. He was a target now, and an easy one. Left alone he would die of dehydration and hypothermia quickly, not to mention the smell of death that lingered would attract demons.
Sebastian knew what he had to do. By now he had learned a few things from Ciel's constant illness. He stripped the boy down and laid him on the sheets, leaving him only momentarily to get a basin of warm water and a cloth. He wiped the boy clean and redressed him in just a light nightshirt. Given the opportunity, the raven undressed himself down to his trousers, and resumed holding Ciel in close. "You probably need more water now, hm?" He muttered most to himself, grabbing the cup of water. He dripped just a little mouthful or two down the Earl's throat. "There. Rest again."
The boy frowned, his eyes soft and sad. He felt horribly disgraced by the whole thing, yet unable to even move now to fix it.
"Don't be upset." He cooed, brushing his hair from his face. "You are a strong person, Ciel.. you've survived demon alcohol, demon medicines, attacks from an elder demon, and demon hound's strongest medicine.. you also survived the physical strain of being alive in Hell, and the mental anguish of a Fallen Angel attacking you. You are.. incredible. Please don't be sad. Smile. Your eyes sparkle when you do."
The boys eyes seemed to dull as he thought though slowly they came alive again when the boy gave a little smile, understanding at last what sebastain was telling him. He moved his hand up to catch the demons hand only for a second before all his strength faded away again.
Sebastian caught Ciel's fingers in his hand and squeezed very gently, smiling himself when he saw one on the Earl's lips. He wanted so desperately to rest himself, but the worry would never let him. Or at least he figured that much when he shut his eyes and fell asleep.
In the demons mind the forest formed again, the angle switching itself out for the boy who was torn open before he could stop the blow. Again the little earl hit the ground hard, the attack far to powerful for his little body.
Sebastian let out a small noise and stared at the boy, bloodied and torn apart because of himself. "No.. No, Bocchan!" He cried, running to him. "No i'm so sorry.. i'll fix this!"
The boy was gurgling, blood in his mouth and nose already. The demon could see the boys organs, his heart and lungs moving in his chest that was torn compleatly open, ribs shattered from the force of his butlers claws. It was an injury that had it been sebastain, would have still been fatal, and he was a demon, ciel was a small, frail, human boy.
"Bocchan.. no bocchan i'm sorry! I didn't mean this! I didn't! Hold on." He gasped, shaking hands trying to flatten torn and shredded skin back onto his chest. "Ciel, hangon ,i'll fix this!"
The boy nodded slowly, letting his head flop back trustingly. He couldn't see the extent of the damage, so was calm despite being in clear pain. His body tensed, released then tensed again as wave after wave of agony struck him. With his hand over the Boys heart the demon could feel the horrible damage being done as his broken ribs stabbed and tore into his organs whenever he breathed in.
Sebastian was quickly coated in Ciel's blood. It stained his clothes, it stained his skin. It was warm, pouring over his hands, making it hard for him to get proper grip on him. He kept slipping, and several times his fingers slid and hit other organs, and he resisted the urge to cry out. "Just s-stay still.. you'll be ok."
The boy was ever trusting. Confident sebastain could save him even as he lost far to much of his blood. He wouldent be comeing back from the damage being done every second. Suddenly there was a soft his and the blood bubbled as ciels lung was finally punctured, the air escapeing. It was cruel to ask for life at this point, when such pain was being caused. "lo...ve..." he breathed, feeling it was his last chance to do so.
"I love you!" He gasped, cupping his face with bloodied hands. "I love you, I love you.. don't die! You can't! You can't go. Don't leave me."
The boy frowned, his eyes sad but already glazed over. His brain wasent getting enough blood to it anymore and he was already suffering damage. Every second that went by he was less and less himself. "lo...v..." he repeated, unable to remember if he told sebastain yet or not.
"No.. please." Sebastian hiccuped, watching the Earl's eyes glaze over as his body failed and shut down. "No.. Ciel." He felt tears fall freely down his face. He knew then there was nothing he could do. Even as he held him he grew cold and lifeless. "I love you."
The boy gave a little smile when he was held a little tighter. It was the last thing he would ever feel as the darkness crept over. The boy felt the warmpth of his demon there even ashes body grew cold. His heart continued to beat for a short time though soon fell into an unsteady rhythm , useless for keeping the boy going. He was breathing, which was harder still for the demon to accept as more and more blood filled the boys mouth. His mind was gone now, but his body took longer to die.
The raven howled out, voice ricocheting off of the dead trees around them. He pulled him up into a sitting position and cradled him in a loose hug, chest to chest, so he could hold him tight. "Bocchan.. just.. go. be in peace."
The boys death was slow despite the horrible wounds. It was hard to remember the pain was over when his mind stopped when his body gasped so heavily. It took a full ten minuets for it to be truely over. His breathing went first then his heart stopped throbbing. It was far from the peaceful death Sebastian wanted. Ciels body fought hard, right until the last moments.
Sebastian shut his eyes tightly, gulping. "I'm so sorry!" He whispered, rocking back and forth with the boy in his arms. "I'm sorry, now come back!"
The boy just grew colder, ofcoarse unable to return from death. The angle that did it however had other ideas, lopping off Sebastian's arm at the shoulder so he was forced to drop the boy. It grabbed the boys body and before the demon could do anything about it breathed life into his dead form, causing screams of agony to ring out. It was torture, ment to make him taste all the better when he was alive and wriggling. His brain function was mostly gone, very little of what was ciel remained but his voice was still his own, and his pain was very real. With so few memories to hang on to he cried out for Sebastian to save him.
Sebastian screamed and fell back continuing to do so as blood shot out of the socket where his arm once was. The demon was in shock, overwhelmed by everything that was going on. His mind spun, but everything focused at once when the boy screamed. He staggered to his feet and used the little strength he had left to cut across the angel's chest, shoving him back. "No! Leave him to pass on, you twisted being!"
The boy was dropped to the ground but as soon as he hit his body started to contort into violent seizures the way it had done in reality as his dream melted with his memories. These seizures where clearly painful however, he screamed in agony, vomitted and choked all at once as he was forced back to life in the most violent way possible.
"you wanted him to live!" the wounded angel mocked, "I heard you! You said it yourself! You wanted him to come back. Well here he is, back just for you!"
"No.. No! Not like this! Not like this..!" He shouted, as the drew began to fade away and reality took its place. "Oh god.. i'm sorry, Ciel!" He screamed, only able to watch him scream in pain as he was surrounded by a mixture of their blood, large thick pools.
The boy laid heavily on the ground after a moment, eyes shut as he faced his second death. Was that it or was it the real ciel as he woke to the boy laying relaxed and asleep in the bed at his side. Was this the dream? It all felt far to real. The boy laying in the bed next to him looked lifeless, maybe he really had died a second death. Maybe he cleaned and dressed him and tucked him into bed so he looked peaceful? The boys breathing was so faint and so quiet it was undetectable, his heart so slow there was no sound even to the demons sensitive ears. He didn't have a pulse, or at least not one that could be easily felt. His body was completely relaxed, not even contorted or tense in his usual nightmares.
Sebastian's voice struggled to kick in as he sat up from his slouched position nestled in the large cushiony pillows. "Ciel?" He whispered hoarsely, trembling fingers moving to cup his face, then moving down to his neck and pressing to his pulse, searching to feel the thumping heart in his chest, finding nothing in his rushed movement. "What have I done to you?" He moved his palm to his chest, still unable to feel his heart, only the coolness of his skin. "I killed you.. it's my fault you're gone. I'm sorry."
The boy took a sharp breath, the little lightning bolts that pulsed through the demons skin and into his made him want to lean in, but he couldn't.
The raven tried to suck in a breath of air, but it just wouldn't come. He choked, coughing hard, and felt tears in his eyes from the pain of near suffocation. "I killed you. The only person I have loved.. I killed."
The boy slowly opened his eyes to the sound. It took a long time for him to process what was going on, but when he did, when he woke to see sebastain in tears he frowned, reaching out and running delicate fingers along his butlers hand.
Sebastian stirred from his choking sobs, his whole body shuddering and aching, deep in his veins. Even down into the roots of his mind. At the small touch he looked up, a whine leaving him as he stared in disbelief. "Ciel?" he whispered, sure he was seeing things, or that it was a ghost.
The boys frown deepened as he looked up at Sebastian with concern. Why would his butler be crying? There was no good reason for that. Slowly, with every bit of energy he had he forced his hand up to tangle in the demons hair, pulling him down gently then locking there lips. His hand fell down onto the bed again, unable to hold it, but he let his lips work numbly for a few seconds before he lost comptroller of them to, only able to break away with a light panting.
Sebastian blinked and cried just a little more then he already was, against Ciel's lips. He kissed him back before he let go to breathe. He hiccuped and cupped his face. "You're alive!" he whispered, hiding his face as he held back a harsh sob. "You're here."
The it brought tears to the little earls eyes and he tried to reach up to wipe away the demons tears. 'why are you crying?' he thought to himself sadly, 'are you okay sebastain.' he tried to pull his butler down into anouther kiss, but this time just gently blew a faint breath into his mouth. It was the only way he could think of to get his message across to the choked up demon, he needed to relax and breath.
"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.." he breathed out, looking tired and worn thin, but relieved and happy too. "I never meant to hurt you.. I didn't mean for it to happen, I promise!"
The little earl couldent help but close his eyes, he was to exhausted to continue his attempts to cheer his butler up anymore. He sighed softly and dozed off almost as soon as his eyes closed.
Sebastian laid back again, arms around the boy once more. He still felt like all the things he'd just done were mirages, and he was just thinking it was happening, and that any minute he'd wake up fully, and Ciel would be unresponsive, dead. "I love you."
The boy nuzzled into his butler slightly. The demon hounds medicine allowing very little movement before it relaxed him once more. just as he was stilling finny came running in, clears distressed. "'ave you got medicine for Pluto yet? He is all cold... I don think he is goin to last much longer... And bard... He is stiff... I... What do I do?"
Sebastian sat himself up and looked over at Finny, swallowing. "Does he still have a pulse?" He asked quietly, tucking Ciel in comfortably. "I didn't get what he needs.. not yet."
"e dose... But it's getting faint..." the boy backed up a little, wanting to run back to the wounded pairs side. "bard... His pulse... Is gone... But he is breathin' so he ain't dead right?"
"If he's still breathing he is still alive, yes." He muttered. "I will see what I can do for him at this moment.. I cannot promise anything though Finny. I will try my best however."
"he woke up... An hour ago he woke... He was in pain... I... I tried to stop his thrashing but..." the boy started sobbing, "he's arms are all bruised now... I tried... To be gentile... I tried..."
"Finny." Sebastian's voice was soft. He couldn't scold him for doing anything he could for someone he loved. He'd done just the same. "I know you tried to be gentle. I know you wouldn't hurt him on purpose. Don't blame yourself."
"elp im please! Don't let him go..." the boy pleaded, stopping dead in the hallway, flooded with tears.
"I'll help him.. come on, i'll need you to help too." He said, pausing when Finny stopped as well. "What is it?"
"es gonna die... Ain't he..." the boy whispered, "I... I can't find a pulse... He is... Hes gone isn't he?"
Sebastian checked Bard all over for a pulse, and laid his head on his chest, listening for both breathing and heart beat. "He is alive.. barely."
"es dying though..." the boy moved back to his friends side, laying down and huddling into his chest. "bard... Go quick okay? Don't... Don't hold on... For me... It's... It's not fair... I'll... I'll be here..."
"If he wants to fight for you, he will even if you tell him to stop." Sebastian said, wondering again if he was selfish for demanding Ciel to come back and stay. "What he needs is for you to be okay with whatever he chooses."
"es in so much pain... Bard... Just... Just be okay..." he whispered, trying to hold him close without crushing him. The cooks arms where already bruised to be sure, but not nearly as much as sebastain had expected. Finny was gentile, the marks could have been made by ceil they where so small when the gardener could crush the life out of him without meaning to. What the blond didnt understand is that holding him still, no matter how gently, when he thrashed about like a dying animal was going to leave bruises.
Sebastian patting the blonde's back and slowly moved to clean the bandages around his companion. "Finny, go get me some water, yes? We need to keep him hydrated.. and remember to change his bandages a lot so he doesn't get infected.. he'll get better."
The boy cried softly for a moment before lifting his head, almost stumbling to the bathroom before comeing back with water. "poor... Thing..."
"As long as you're here for him he will be okay." He said, smiling at the blonde. "You're doing really well." He added, helping the sickly chef get a few mouthfull of water.
"I'm not... He's gonna be dead soon... I... I want him to live!" the boy laid down on his friends chest again and continued his endless sobbing. "but I don't want... Him to be in... So much pain... I 'ert him... When I try to help I do... "
"Look though, Finny." He tried to reason, pointing out the small bruises. "He will bruise easily being so ill.. and your strength could have easily broken his arms or bruised him way more, but all there is are these small bruises.. You were so very gentle. You didn't hurt him as bad as you think."
"es all covered in em though... They must h-hurt do terribly..." he whispered sadly.
"I'm sure they don't hurt as much as what he felt before.. you have to stay strong for him Finny."
The boy was so shaken and so crushed it was clear there wasent much more anyone could do to calm him at this point. And now Sebastian knew exactly how he felt, with the little earl in the next room still hovering between life and death. Even if the worst was over, even if ciel was stable, awake, breathing on his own unaided, he was still frail and a simple cold breeze would be all it took to cause death.
"You know what'll help him? If you hold him.. it'll keep him warm, he can listen to your heat beat... he'll feel really safe and comfortable. and it'll help him to rest."
The boy looked up at sebastain skeptically. "r-really? But... But what if I ert Im again?"
"You won't hurt him. You're able to be gentle with him, because you care so much about him. You can take care of him, I know you can." He encouraged, patting his shoulder. "Just let him lean against you, you don't even have to hold him that tightly to keep him with you."
The smaller blond nodded slowly and shifted in the bed so his back was up against the head bored then carefully lifted the chef up into his arms cradling his head gently and letting it rest against his shoulder with his back to the guardaners chest. It had an unexpected effect, sitting up cleared the elders air ways and the gasping all but stopped for a somewhat normal breathing rhythm.
Sebastian noticed the change and leant over him again, checking his airways and other vitals. "Strange.. it's almost like he improved a whole twenty percent just from you holding him like that."
"is e okay?" the boy almost panicked, starting to shake visibly and it somehow brought tears to the chefs eyes, as though he could feel his friends distress.
"He's okay!" He said, taking his shoulder again. "You need to relax as much as him.. he's fine.. he's getting better actually."
The boy shook, resting his cheek to the elders head. "are you... Comfy? You feel okay?" he asked the other gently, trying his hardest to stop his tears. Slowly the body that was stiff with waves of pain and tiny seizures relaxed, acctually starting to look like a living breathing human rather then a dead body.
Bard's eyes opened and closed a few times, before he kept them open, blinking up at his young friend and smiling weakly. It took a few minutes to get his voice working again, or at least loud enough to hear. "M.. okay, Fin."
"bard!" the boy yelped, trying his hardest to resist the urge to tighten his grip and crush the life out of the chef in a bear hug.
"M.. so glad t'see y-you, Fin." The weak chef murmured out, raising a trembling hand to his face. "S-Sure is a real.. welcome sight a-after bein' so sick."
"shh..." the blond forced out, putting a finger to the others lips. He wanted to listen to his voice all day, just to know he was still in there. "don' try n talk... Okay? Just... Save your energy... Please... "
The elder blonde muffled the gardener's name against the fingers at his lips, and then was quiet per request. He smiled faintly and gladly leaned on him to rest.
"I want... Ta listen to ya talk all day bard... I do... But... But I want ya to heal now... Okay?" the boy gave a shuddering sob, even with bard awake he couldn't stop crying. "I'd never... Never get over it... If ya died on me... I'd rather... Go back to that lab... And never... Never go outside again..."
Bard's brows furrowed, he frowned at the gardener, shaking his head. he tried to keep from speaking but he couldn't help it. "I.. I would rather die then see you cooped up again." He said softly, giving him a small smile. "You're always s..so happy out there. You being happy.. matters most to me."
"no... No... I'd... Do anythin' it took... I..." the boy was clearly heart broken, bard was always one of his heros. Strong, reliable, untouchable, and now he was laying in his arms and all the gardener could think was that he was dead. That his heart would stop any second and he would have to say goodbye. Could he do that? Would he ever let go of the chef? He would kill anyone who tied to take his body away, that he knew. And finny wasent the violent type, not at all, but he would Tare anyone limb from limb if he had to, to protect what he loved. "you gotta... Gotta rest... Kay?" the boys shaking became more violent. His still wounded chest aching from the force of his sobs.
"D-Don't be sad.." He hiccuped, coughing hard then, a wheeze escaping him. "I'll r-rest if you promise to rest and be happy t-too.. okay, Fin? s-smile for me pleae.."
"I can't..." the boy shook, holding the cook closer. "I'm d-dead inside... I..."
"n..No.. ya.. c-can't be.." he choked out, nuzzling into him.
The boy went silent, strokeing his friends hair. "I'm... I'm only breathin so... So I can make you comfy bard... I... I want you to feel good... That's all" it was true, he had no urge to do anything else anymore, not even talk to his beloved birds outside.
"Oh.." The chef said, tears starting to roll down his cheeks."I'm.. i'm sorry." He cried. "I..it's my fault.. this is all my fault!" He gurgled, thrashing around slightly. "I'm so sorry f-fin!"
"nn!" the boy quickly controlled his friends movements, useing as little of his strength as he could. "stop bard! D-don't hurt yourself please! It's... It's killing me!"
Bard immediately went still, but he continued to cry, hiccuping and choking on his own tears. "l-look what i've done.. i-i don't deserve you, Fin.. I don't!"
"no... No... You... You protected me... You... You saved me... Your my hero bard..." he admitted softly, nuzzling his neck, "I just want you comfy... And breathin... That's all... Please... Just keep fighting... I'll... I'll do anything... Please..."
"I-I am comfy." He whispered. "an breathin'.. I-I just want you t'be happy." he cried, his cheeks soaked with tears. "I w-want you t-to go outside.. an' smile.. c-cause I love you."
"if ya get better... Then..." the boy promised the war veteran quietly, "I'll get better to..."
"We can get better t-together." He mumbled, his body laxing and going limp for the most part. "As long as i've got you t'take care of, an' take care o' me, Fin.. i-i'll get better."
The boy sobbed softly and pulled him in so he could kiss his cheek fondly, not dareing to risk cutting off the blonds breathing by taking to his lips. "I love you bard... Kay? No matter what happens..."
Bard closed his eyes and nodded, a small smile on his lips. He looked peaceful and calm, and much more alive then he'd looked lately. "I love you too."