Night Remembrance

"K-Kensei…" Hisagi mumbled in his sleep before rolling over and pulling Renji closer towards him.

The red head was awake and let himself be dragged in. He knew that Kensei, Hisagi's idol, meant a lot to the scarred man. This wasn't the only night that Hisagi called out for his former master.

No, it happened a little too often as of late, making Renji worry. Hisagi only began calling out for Kensei when he was frightened of something… but, why wouldn't Hisagi go to Renji for comfort? Isn't that what lovers did?

The tattooed man felt his heart clench some at that thought.

Lovers.

Kensei and Hisagi…

Biting his lip, Renji ran his hand through Hisagi's soft black hair then down the raised scars decorating his face. In doing so, Hisagi tightened his grip on Renji's form, nuzzling his hair and sighing. "M'sorry…"

Sorry? Sorry for what? Renji didn't know the answer to that one. Maybe he could question Hisagi in his sleep and he would answer. The red head knew it was low but… he wanted to know. Was it bad of him to wonder what it was that Hisagi was sorry about? "Hisagi… what is it that you're sorry for?"

Renji thought he wasn't going to receive an answer but then his older lover mumbled out quietly, "I let you die…"

He knew this story all too well… Hisagi didn't let him die, it was Aizen who had manipulated the entire fiasco. Kensei and the others fell victim to hollowfication and became vizards, just like Ichigo.

Renji wasn't sure when, or if, Hisagi ever heard about the other captain ever again but the constant reminder of Kensei himself was forever tattooed on Hisagi's right cheek. The noticeable 69 black marking on his face showed everyone how devoted Hisagi was to the man that saved his life … even… even now.

Was he, Renji, ever able to amount up to Kensei? Would Hisagi ever open up to him like he had with Kensei? Is Kensei the reason why Hisagi was sad now?

Renji didn't know what to do; he wanted to help Hisagi but… but how? How is he to help someone who didn't ask for it? Hisagi was a proud man who never asked for assistance with anything and Renji admired his lovers' strong will.

What would happen if Kensei ever did come back and re-claimed Hisagi? Would Renji just be kicked to the side like he usually was? Left and forgotten just like the trash in the Rukongai district; never able to amount to anything since they were nothing to begin with.

But now… Renji wasn't sure anymore. He loved Hisagi; he loved him with all his heart. Wasn't that enough?

Placing his head on Hisagi's bare chest, Renji listened to the others' heart beat. He wanted Hisagi all for himself goddamnit!

Renji jerked slightly when he felt a hand run through his red mane. "Renji? What's wrong? Your reiatsu is flaring."

Shit, had he really been that upset to not notice his own reiatsu increasing? "Nothin' Hisagi, just go back to sleep."

Blinking to clear his eyes from sleep, Hisagi shook his head. "No, not until you're alright. What's bugging you Ren?"

Looking into his lovers' dark eyes, Renji sighed and placed his hand on Hisagi's chest. "I… I love you Hisagi."

Hisagi's eyes narrowed. "Renji, what's wrong." It wasn't a question but a statement that Renji needed to answer.

"Kensei… You were calling out for him in your sleep…" Renji couldn't look Hisagi in the eyes so instead he turned his gaze away and stared at the wall.

When he heard Hisagi sigh, Renji's heart plummeted. Fuck, he knew Hisagi still had feelings for Kensei. Renji was just the replacement as usual. Maybe he should just leave now so that things would get awkw-

Renji felt his face turn by Hisagi's hand then his lips being pressed against Hisagi's own. After that quick kiss, Hisagi caressed Renji's face. "Renji, Kensei and I… we… well, there's no point in lying to you. We were lovers once but that changed when he… when he became a hollow."

"But Hisagi he isn't one! He's a vizard now just like Ichigo. Shouldn't you-"

"I don't want to."

That shut Renji up and it allowed for Hisagi to continue. "I don't want to go back to him because I have you Renji. It was so long ago that we were together anyways. When I heard that he went through the hollowfication, I… I felt that it was my fault for that. I know now that there was absolutely nothing I could've done to stop it but back then, when I was younger, I felt that I could've done something to stop it from happening. Kensei had saved my life so why couldn't I save his? That's what kept eating away at me for so long." Hisagi cupped Renji's face with his palm. "But that was the past Renji. I hope you can see that."

A huge weight was lifted off of Renji's chest and the red head smiled. "I'm just glad that you won't ditch me."

Hisagi actually looked hurt by that statement. "Renji, do you really think that I'd abandon you like that?"

"I… I wasn't sure Hisagi. Whenever you're worried 'bout something, at night when your asleep, you call out his name. I wasn't sure… I'm sorry."

Smirking, the tattooed man kissed Renji's lips. "Forgiven; but there is one name that I only want to call out and that is yours when I ram into you."

Hisagi licked Renji's upper lip before flipping their positions. Looking down at Renji's red hair splayed across the white linen bed sheets and pillows, Hisagi growled and bit down on his lovers' right shoulder, leaving behind a noticeable mark. "Mine."

Renji gasped, feeling his skin being abused. "H-Hisagi…"

"Oh Renji…" Nuzzling Renji's neck, the elder male kissed his way down the exotic tattooed chest, loving the way the body beneath him reacted to his touches. True, he did think about Kensei Muguruma from time to time but Renji was the one that he held most dear to him now. The rebellious red head had captured his attention and Hisagi wasn't planning on letting him go.

TBC

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~ChaosGarden