Thank you for all your reviews. Very kind.
Come so far, over 100,000 words (which shocked me when I realised because I've never written anything this long), and there is still so so far to go...
Section wise I've decided Ireland was a section of it's own so this is now section 5 and as a warning it's going to be almost a story of it's own, it's going to be that bloody long.
He spent most of the first day in bed, essentially feeling sorry for himself until he got a bit sick of himself, sick of his own company. When Laura came around to check on him later in the evening he had told her what happened, all of it. She's been her usual self, listening and letting him tell her in his own time, at his own pace and she hadn't said anything except that she was proud of him.
The next day he had rang Tony and asked if he could come back in two days earlier than planned which worked out well as Tony wanted to be at the Bistro with structural engineer and architect to talk through all the changes and make sure that there were no major problems with what they wanted to do.
He relished being back at work, changing his specials almost every day and creating new recipes with Harry. Harry had asked for a few lessons to help him get his sauces balanced since he always seemed to be too heavy, too sweet or too sour, his seasoning was always right though. He could see that he was desperate to get it right and he was trying too hard but Harry explained that he college course hadn't required as many variation in sauces as the menu of Ill Nosh did so he had stuck to what he knew he could do well and now he was struggling a bit. A couple of sessions and he had improved no end which wasn't a surprise given his talent.
He had a meeting with Tony and Callum about the tapas bar and what they were going to do. It was decided to leave the interior as it was but decorate and get it up and running first because the bistro was going to take so much more work to get the way they wanted.
He was dragged along to a wine tasting by Callum who insisted that he needed to know more about wine. He spent the entire evening bored out of his mind and started drinking what he was offered instead of just tasting it, although it hadn't been a complete waste of time, he had found an extremely nice white to make mushroom risotto with although given the price he had used it for one of his one night only specials.
They decided that it was too expensive to hire decorators for the tapas bar so agreed a colour scheme and he volunteered himself to do the majority of the painting. He wanted to be busy. He wanted to be pushing forward. He had a future, he couldn't dwell on the past, not now it had been resolved.
He knew now, the cloud of uncertainty had gone. He knew what had happened to Brendan, knew he was out of prison, knew that he hadn't come for him as soon as he was out and he knew that Brendan had moved on. He knew it was over for them. Finally over. Not the way he wanted it to end but at least he knew.
"I honestly can't believe you did that!" Laura exclaimed while ducking from another load of paint he launches at her.
"You started it."
"I didn't mean to, I bloody apologised." She replies trying to wipe the paint on her face off but is only successful in smearing it and making it worse. "Thanks now I'm have to get a shower before we go."
"You and me both." He looks at his stained t-shirt although most of the paint seems to be on his hands and on his forearms. "You sure you don't mind?"
"I didn't mind yesterday, I don't mind today. In fact I'm looking forward to it. I've always wanted to see Lucas play in a match anyway it's a nice distraction."
"How is the office hunt going?" He asks because she seems to have seen about twenty and hated every single one of them.
"Crap. I don't even know if I should bother getting one. Karl's asked for me to up my hours at the clinic and I've got lecture offers all over the shop." She shrugs and returns to the wall, they had both insisted they were going to finish before they made their way to Manchester.
"What about the clients who came with you from the other place?" He asked because almost all of her clients had wanted to keep her.
"I know." She sighs. "I'm just going to have to make up my mind where I want to be. If I set up in Hollyoaks I'm direct competition but it's close to home. If I start out in Chester then I have to travel but the majority of my clients are in Chester area anyway so… I need an office really." She rolled her eyes. "I'll find somewhere."
He checks his watch and attacks the wall with new vigour. He had promised he would be early and he wants to be earlier than early so he can spend a bit of time with Leah. He knows from the various phone calls he's had in the previous week that Lucas is going to be no conversation because of nerves.
Amy had told him that there were going to be three scouts there, two of which had been watching Lucas' team in the previous match and Lucas was stressing about everything. Apparently he was being a nightmare because he was so nervous 'just like his Dad' Amy had insisted.
He hadn't told Amy about Ireland, he had lied and said he had had an alright time. He hadn't lied about the castle or how impressive the set up was but when it came to details he had changed the subject to Leah's latest Art project. He really didn't need Amy's opinion.
"Come on then." He checked to make sure that they had evenly covered the wall and Laura's filling in was up to scratch.
He checked to make sure everything was off, the window were shut, the alarm was on and the door was locked before daring to have a look inside the bombsight next door. If it was a shell before it was worse now that there were exposed brick work and wires hanging everywhere.
"Did Callum talk to you about Greg?" She asked as she pulled out from the parking space and started driving her rental BMW back to Hollyoaks so they could get showered and changed.
"I'm still not sure." He had to be honest. Greg Thompson was a contact of Callum's from Cobra and he had agreed to meet with them to discuss the apparently excellent wines that he could get them. For him it was that Thompson was a contact of Callum's which was the problem. Callum wanted out and had done everything in his power to get out even though he was still working at Cobra until the bar was ready to keep himself ticking over. He didn't want Callum bringing in people that he knew from that world. Although he was realistic enough to realise that all of Callum's friends and contacts would be from that world until he was able to find others. "But Tony knows of him so we may as well see what he can offer."
Laura's phone rang and she frowned before putting clicking the parrot and motioning to him to keep quiet.
"Dad." Her tone was devoid of warmth.
"Laura." He frowned he didn't expect her Dad's voice to be like that although he hadn't really thought about it much. Deep with a roughness.
"You rang?"
"I did. How are you?"
"The point Dad if you don't mind." He felt slightly uncomfortable. The hostility between them, Laura's aggression was very different to what he expected from her.
"Shane's replacement has secured his place." He was a very polite and formal man from what he heard.
"And?"
"And I would like you to come to the party which he is hosting as an introduction to everyone. Given your involvement in Shane's demise it would be… beneficial if you could make it." It wasn't as much of a request as he was making it out to be from the way he said it.
"For who?"
"Both of us. You do of course remember that it was your own fault that happened. No daughter of mine should bring that amount of trouble to my door."
"I am so very sorry." Her reply was draped in sarcasm.
"Don't you take that tone with me, Laura." She rolled her eyes.
"I am not going to what essentially a dick swinging competition."
"Laura you will come and you will bring that Taylor." There was real disgust in his tone. It seemed there was still a lot of hostility which was unsurprising. "Everyone will be there and if you're not there it will have to be explained."
"Well you should start with the excuses starting with I'm out and I don't want to be back in."
"Laura I've told…"
"Bye Dad." She pressed the button.
He looked at her in surprise. Her father, he knew was not a man to be putting the phone down on although as his daughter he was sure that made her exempt. He hoped that made her exempt.
She shook her head and sighed heavily.
"He only wants me there because he had to bust his balls to set the whole Shane thing straightened out before his boys got topped. Not me. His boys. Especially Rory." She sighed again. "He wants to show off in front of this replacement who must have moved pretty damn fast to take over and secure the position."
She pulled up to his flat and promised to be back within half an hour.
He rushed inside and took a quick but very thorough shower, scrubbing his hands until they were paint free. He got changed and made himself a sandwich and a cup of tea before Laura was back, parked up just down the road.
He dropped into the passenger seat.
"There been a crash on the M6 so the traffic might be bad." She stated as she pulled away.
He leaned his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes.
"Nightmares getting any better?" She asked as she pulled off the slip road onto the motorway.
"Not really." He sighed. Every night since the night after he had returned from Ireland he had been plagued with nightmares. Various circumstances but all ending in either himself or Brendan dying and it was really starting to piss him off. It was like his mind rebelled when he slept, like it wanted to cause him more pain since he was being resolute in moving on when he was awake.
"They'll settle down." She reassured him. "You've made a massive decision so it's natural for you mind to be rebelling for a bit on the change."
He snorted a bit and looked across at her.
"You practicing for getting locked in the white room with your new weirdo's?"
"Clients. I've told you before they are clients." She smiled.
"Well since I used to be one I know how bad your clients are."
"Considering one of my former clients ate the tips of his fingers and toes off because his guardian angel told him to…"
"What?" He pulls a face.
"Oh that's not even the worst bit." There's a gleam in her eyes and he knows from that alone there's something more gruesome to the tale.
"Do I want to know?"
"Nah. You've got your own nightmares you don't want to know the rest. Although you watch some horrendously gory films so it might not affect you." She leaves it open, his choice.
He wonders if this is a lingering effect. Being so hyperaware of control, his control and the control of other on his life. It has to be because it's almost every conversation he has with anyone that has him thinking about whether they're trying to control him or not.
"I don't think I want to know… But go on then."
"He lifted off his toe and finger nails with pliers," his fingers and toes twitch and he flexes them "put them in a music box and handed them to the doctor saying that they were treasures and a new land would grow from them."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It was pretty sad in the end because we worked really hard with him, therapy, meds and he stopped hearing voices but then he missed them so much he came off his meds and the guardian angel told him he could fly. He jumped off a motorway bridge, killed himself and a scared the shit out of a business man whose car he landed on."
"Wow."
"Yeah." She shook her head. "Anyway that was years ago. Bet you watch every motorway bridge from here to Manchester."
"Why would I do that?"
"Because that's what happens. You get told something and your mind gets stuck on it and it's not until it keeps not happening that your brain files it as an unlikely occurrence again."
He found himself checking the next bridge despite himself and he laughed at himself.
They made good progress until the traffic really built up and although they were moving they weren't making good time. It slowed right down and he started to check the clock on the dash, they still had loads of time but the longer they were travelling at 20mph the more worried he got. He needed to be there. He had to be there.
"We'll be early." Laura reassured him.
"There's something I need to tell you."
"What's that?"
"Amy doesn't know about Brendan." He stated. "And I don't want you to tell her."
"So what's the party line?" She asked and he frowned at her. "What story did you give her?"
"We went, we had an alright time. Cheryl and I got a lot sorted out but it wasn't exactly plain sailing." She looked at him. "She wouldn't believe it if I said that it was all sorted and me and Cheryl were friends again. So if she asks…"
"Okay."
"Really?" He frowned. He expected her to want him to tell Amy everything.
"You've always told me that she hated Brendan and I don't think you really need to be dragging it up again but I think that she'd like to know and I think she'd be very proud of you for holding your ground and putting him straight."
"I just don't want the 'I told you so' or her slagging Brendan off because I really don't need to hear it."
"Fine by me."
They were early enough that he was able to talk to Lucas as he sat trembling in the back seat of Amy's car outside the sport centre, tell him how proud he was and that it didn't matter if they won or lost as long as he put his all in. That if he put everything in win, lose or draw, he could walk away knowing he couldn't do anymore.
He could barely watch the match by the end, tears filled his eyes and he had to brush them away. Lucas was playing so well. The pride he felt was unmatchable. To see his son playing a game he loved with so much commitment and passion, running and tackling and putting everything out there was one of the best hour and a half's of his life.
When Lucas' team won by a solitary scrambled scruffy goal he had hugged Amy so hard he was sure she couldn't breathe.
Lucas was delighted and his smile was dazzling.
"You'll be at the final won't you Dad?" He'd asked.
"Wouldn't miss it for anything." He'd kissed him on the head and received a push of embarrassment but he knew that Lucas was happy.
They went out for a celebratory meal. Amy, Leah and Laura talking art, politics and almost everything in between. Simon and himself been given a full match report from Lucas and a critique of his own performance as well as a beaming smile when he said one of the scouts had spoken to him.
"Good day." Laura stated as they were on the way back.
"Yeah, not bad." He smiled.
"It's going to take a week to get that smile off your face isn't it?" She laughed.
He knew he was grinning like an idiot but he was just so proud of Lucas, of both his kids.
He'd take every day like this as it came because he knew there was always something just around the corner to knock him flat on his arse again.