What am I going to do with myself once this epic ends?

…

Chapter Thirty-seven. Pear.

"Dad. Dad!" Eli said with growing urgency, shaking him awake.

Daryl's eyes slowly pried open and for a dazed moment, it was as if he forgot where he was, but then his sleep-addled brain began to slowly wake itself up and he focused on his son, standing next to the bed, shaking his arm.

"Wha' is it?" He mumbled, his voice rough and his throat dry. He tried clearing it.

"Mama's throwing up."

Daryl was instantly awake and tossing the quilt back, he hurried from the bed. Sure enough, across the tree house in their little curtained-off section where they had their tub for washing and bucket for peeing, Beth was on her knees, holding the sides of the bucket between her hands as she gagged into it. Daryl lowered himself next to her and with a hand on her back, he looked back to Eli.

"Get her some water, Eli," Daryl said and Eli hurried off and Daryl looked to Beth. He gathered her hair back for her and held it away from her face for her. "How long you been here?" He asked her.

Beth shook her head and kept her face in the bucket. "A few minutes. I told Eli not to wake you, but I think he got scared."

Daryl frowned to himself as he rubbed her back as she let loose another small amount of vomit into the bucket. Why the hell hadn't he heard her get up in the first place? This was the second time in recent memory that he had slept and hadn't woken up when he found out that there was a noise that he should have heard.

"This is the first mornin' you've been throwin' up, right?" He asked her as she slowly, finally, lifted her head and moved so she sat on her butt instead of her legs. "I haven't been sleepin' through any more mornin' sickness?" He reached up onto the counter next to him and took down a towel, handing it to her.

She smiled and wiped at her mouth. "You have arrived for the first one," she said.

Eli came hurrying back, a cup of water in his hand from the bucket they kept in the kitchen. Each night before they came up to bed, Daryl brought a bucket filled with water from one of the large barrels they had set up around the yard and set it on the stovetop, boiling it so it was sterilized.

"Here, mama," Eli said, holding the cup out to her.

"Thank you, baby," Beth smiled and took it, gulping down a grateful mouthful.

"Are you sick?" Eli asked. "Should I go get some herbs and tea?" He asked.

Beth smiled around the rim of her cup as she took another mouthful. Daryl grabbed him and gently pulled him down so he was sitting on the floor between them.

"Your mama's not sick," Daryl told him. "There's jus' somethin' in her stomach that's not makin' her feel too good at the moment."

"Oh," Eli said at the explanation, which really wasn't that much of an explanation, and was still looking at Beth with a furrowed brow, concern evident on his face.

When Beth found out she was pregnant with Ruby, she and Daryl had decided that they wouldn't tell Eli until she was a bit further along and was physically showing. The first trimester was always the most fragile and they knew that Eli wouldn't be able to keep the secret of Beth's pregnancy from the others until Daryl and Beth were ready to tell the others.

Without even having to discuss it, they had come to the same agreement this time with this pregnancy as well. Ruby had made it to her sixth month. Maybe this baby wouldn't even make it through the first trimester. They just didn't know and they didn't want to tell the others about the baby if there was no reason to tell them.

Daryl wanted to talk with Beth about the baby, but knew he couldn't do it right now. And he had something else on his mind at the moment – which was amazing that he could think about anything else right now after finding out Beth was pregnant again.

"Eli, do me a favor," Daryl said. "'m gonna close my eyes and I want you to clap. But don't tell me when you're goin' to. I wanna check my hearin'. Okay?"

"Okay!" Eli smiled, thinking it was some new game his dad had invented to play.

Beth, though, slowly pulled the cup down from her lips and was frowning slightly. Daryl looked at her and shook his head slightly. It'd be another thing they would talk about when no one else was around.

"Ready?" Eli asked as Daryl closed his eyes.

"Ready. And don't tell me when you're gonna do it," Daryl reminded him.

For a moment, Daryl didn't hear anything and a knot began to form in the bottom of his chest, tightening, beginning to make breathing difficult. Maybe he really was going deaf. But then, just like he told him to, Eli didn't tell him. He just clapped as loud as he could and the sharp smack echoed around the room and in Daryl's ears.

Oh, thank Christ, Daryl nearly breathed in relief. He didn't think he was that old.

He opened his eyes and Eli was grinning and Beth was still frowning.

"Thanks, buddy," Daryl said, ruffling his hair. "Wanna get yourself dressed and then we'll head down for breakfast?"

"You okay now, mama?" Eli asked, looking at her as he stood up.

Beth gave him a smile. "Much better. Thank you for your help." Eli leaned down and gave her a quick hug and Beth kissed the side of his head before he hurried away towards his nook in the tree-house to get himself ready for the day – as Beth called it.

The instant their son was away, Beth's eyes instantly fell onto him.

"What the hell was that?" She asked without mincing words.

Daryl shrugged. "Sleepin' through things I shouldn't be sleepin' through," he explained as casually and simply as he could. The last thing he needed or wanted was Beth worrying about anything that had to do with him. She was pregnant now. They both had much bigger things to think about. "Think I'm just gettin' to be a heavy sleeper," he then shrugged and the explanation sounded good enough for him because he could still hear. And even if that was actually fading, it didn't seem to be completely gone. Yet.

Beth studied him for a moment. "What do I always tell you? Your body knows how much sleep it needs and considering how hard you work every day, it's no surprise that when you fall asleep, you sleep hard." She paused. "Is that really all there is? You're worried because you slept through me getting up this morning?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Daryl replied honestly. "I wanna talk about you."

Beth still looked worried and slightly troubled, but then Daryl leaned in and his hand slid across her still-flat abdomen. She felt herself smiling faintly as her hand came to a rest over his, but then she exhaled a soft breath and looked at him.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

Daryl nodded. "Me, too." He moved closer, sitting right next to her with his hand still on her stomach and his other arm circled around her shoulders, bringing her into his side. "We're jus' gonna take it one day at a time. Can't do anything more than that. And you're gonna take it easy," he said as he always did.

But this time, Beth didn't argue. Instead, she nodded her head in agreement.

It wasn't as if she blamed herself for Ruby's death, but she often wondered if maybe, there had been something that she had done that had inadvertently caused harm to her delicate baby girl. When she was pregnant with Eli, she didn't stop working until her water broke and then, just a few days later, she was back on her feet no matter how many times Daryl told her to take it easy and everything had been fine then.

With Ruby, she had done the same even though she had known she had to slow down. Being pregnant nowadays was one of the most dangerous things a person could be. A million things could go wrong and they didn't have a doctor they could just take her to. Because now, if she did have a miscarriage, they still had to get the baby out of her somehow and kill it even further before it could turn and kill her.

When Beth had given birth to the still-born Ruby, Anna had taken her away for a moment and they all knew that she had plunged a tiny blade into the back of the baby's head so Ruby wouldn't be able to come back in any form. They hadn't asked her to do that even though both Beth and Daryl knew that it had to be done and they would never be able to do it themselves.

They had never talked with Anna about it and it couldn't be blamed by any of them that Anna just wanted to forget that she had ever had to do such a thing.

Beth couldn't let any of the same things happen with this baby.

She would take it easy. They were all capable of taking care of this place without needing Beth to constantly be on her feet, doing twelve jobs at the same time. This time, she would take it easy and rest more and keep herself calm and everything would be okay and she and Daryl would have a healthy, live baby.

Please God, Beth prayed silently to herself. Let this baby be born, healthy and alive.

"But are you happy?" Beth asked him in a whisper; almost as if she was afraid to both ask the question and to hear what his possible answer might be.

Daryl didn't even hesitate. His arm tightened around her shoulders and he pressed his lips to her temple. "Hell, yeah, I'm happy," he said and he said it so firmly and emphatically, Beth felt her own tears of happiness starting to brim in her eyes.

They all got themselves ready – dressing and brushing their teeth with baking soda and Beth brushed her hair and then did the same for Eli, commenting that it was time she cut his hair. Of course, he instantly refused because he wanted to have hair like dad's, and Beth gave Daryl a look for not having his hair cut often either.

Daryl took the bucket with their pee and Beth's morning sickness down with him as they all left the tree-house and he went to go empty it out as Beth and Eli went into the cabin's kitchen for breakfast. As expected, everyone else was awake as well, ready to start their own days.

Aiden was sitting at the table, playing with his collection of Lincoln Logs as he did most mornings now before breakfast, and Eli hurried over to join him. Rosita was sitting in another chair with Bee standing in front of her between her legs, Rosita gently working a comb through Bee's curly hair, trying to get some snarls out before pulling it back into a French braid for the day. Spencer was kneeling in front of the stove, tossing logs into it to get it nice and hot so breakfast could be made, and Aaron was sitting on the couch, sharpening his knives since he and Daryl would probably go out that day for hunting and scavenging.

The only two missing were Anna and Matt, but Beth knew that they were in the barn, milking the goats for the day and collecting eggs from the chickens. Matt didn't know how to do much – except what Anna had already taught him in their months together before returning here – but the good thing with Matt was that he was willing to do absolutely anything and learn how to do it.

Daryl had laid the rules down for Anna when they had come back and she had practically thrown herself into Matt's arms, hugging him tightly and not wanting to let him go, and Beth had been so relieved that Daryl had changed his mind about the situation because she knew that Daryl thought Matt was too old for Anna and maybe he was – back when such laws were in effect – but Anna cared for him and it was obvious feelings were returned. In Georgia, sixteen had been the age of consent so if the world hadn't ended, Matt and Anna would have been allowed to be together.

This was one of the reasons why Beth had fallen in love with Daryl. He was a good man. When he cared about someone, they became the most important person to him in the world. And when he loved someone, he loved them with his entire heart and he loved them forever.

Beth could tell that Matt was uncomfortable with his feelings towards Anna – he being in his twenties and Anna being only sixteen for the time being – and when Daryl had laid down the rules, Matt had completely agreed and Anna had reluctantly done so as well if that meant that Matt could stay and live with them.

And so far, so good. Matt had acclimated in well with their family and most times, it almost felt as if he had been with them all along.

As Beth took out the iron-cast frying pans and a mixing bowl and one of the containers of Quaker Oats that had been found in the diner, Matt and Anna entered the kitchen with a bucket of milk and a basket of eggs and Anna was laughing at something that Matt had been saying and Matt was smiling a little.

"Good morning," Anna greeted happily to everyone, smiling broadly at Beth as she set the eggs down. But then a moment later, after looking at her, she took a step closer towards her. "Are you alright?" She asked quietly.

Beth wondered what she looked like for Anna to ask her that.

She gave Anna smile. "Of course I am," she said and reached out, rubbing Anna's arm and she could tell that Anna wasn't convinced, but thankfully, the girl didn't press.

For breakfast, Beth fried eggs and made enough oatmeal for everyone to have a couple of spoonfuls. She also cut a few tomatoes into slices and then fried those up in the pans with the little bit of grease leftover from frying the eggs.

As the food was laid out, Daryl came in from putting the pee bucket back up in the tree-house and they all sat down at the table to eat before starting the day's work.

"I've got a job for everyone today," Daryl spoke up and the chatter amongst them all immediately ceased as they looked at him. "Beth and Rosita, I figure, you can keep on cannin' and I'm thinkin' lessons can hold off for the day so Eli and Aiden can start on pickin' the corn, shellin' it and grindin' it up. Anna and Bee, I'm gonna want you on acorn pickin' duty and Spencer, go out and chop us wood. Take Matt with you and show him how you do it."

"Got it," Spencer said, bringing his fork to his forehead and saluting Daryl.

"And if you get done, you can help the boys with the corn. Aaron and me are headin' north today," Daryl continued. "See what we can find. You guys put a list together of anythin' you might need and we'll see what there is."

"Are you going to be gone overnight?" Beth asked.

"Wasn' plannin' on it," Daryl shook his head. He looked to Aaron. "You good with that?" He asked him.

Aaron paused to swallow down his bite of tomato slice. "Of course. Are we looking for anything special?"

"Nah. Just figured it'd be good to head out there one more time 'fore winter comes."

And the answer was true enough. He wasn't planning on some big, long run, but there were plenty of pockets of houses and stores in these mountains that they hadn't gotten to yet and Daryl couldn't imagine anyone else getting to them already. For some reason he still didn't get – but something he was grateful for – people didn't think that the Appalachian Mountains had anything of use to them so they all went other directions, trying to find other communities and places to live. Meanwhile, Daryl and his family had been up here for near ten years and they were doing pretty damn well for themselves – to put it mildly.

Maybe because the mountains had been poor before the end, the people left in this world just assumed that scavenging up here would be a waste of time. Most of them were like Rick – obsessed with the idea of modern medicine and food, having no idea that they were surrounded by nature that could provide them with both.

Whatever, Daryl always thought. More for him and his own.

After they all ate their full and their plates were scrapped clean, they began helping to clean up. Anna stood up, taking Bee's plate with her own.

"I'm going to bring the sheep with me and Bee when we go out to pick acorns," she told Daryl. "It'll be good to let them roam for a bit."

He nodded. "Sounds good. Wanna take Blackie with you, too?" He asked.

They all knew Blackie wasn't going to make it much longer. The horse had had a good, long life, but horses didn't live forever and every day, they saw him slowing down more and more. They didn't even think about hitching the wagon to him anymore. Daryl knew the horses left had returned to their wild roots, but he entertained the idea in the back of his mind that after Blackie left, maybe they'd be able to get themselves one of the wild horses running around and try to break it in.

Anna smiled faintly. "I think he'd like that."

"You are in for a treat today," Spencer was telling Matt. "Getting wood is one of the most important jobs we have and it's usually my responsibility."

"Why?" Matt couldn't help but ask.

"Because I look damn handsome swinging an ax around," Spencer grinned.

"Don't listen to him," Rosita said with a roll of her eyes towards Spencer before looking to Matt. "We told him it was one of the most important jobs so he would go out and leave us alone every day."

"Just for that, you can't have any of my wood," Spencer frowned.

"That's fine with me." Rosita let out a laugh. "Two is more than enough."

Matt smiled as Spencer threw his arm around Rosita's neck and she shrieked and laughed as he pulled her down into a headlock.

At the sink, Beth was pumping the handle to allow water to spurt into the sink and she then took a bar of soap to start washing the dishes. Daryl came up to her and slid a hand onto the back of her neck. She turned her head and smiled up at him and he leaned down, pressing his lips to her temple.

"You'll be fine with jus' cannin' today?" He asked her in a low voice so no one else could overhear their conversation.

Beth smiled. "There's nothing just about canning and you know it, Mr. Dixon," she said and he smiled a little. "If it was so easy, you'd help."

"Want me to stay and help today?" He asked, his smile gone, now serious.

"No," Beth shook her head, still smiling. "I love you, so don't be offended, but you'd probably just be in my way all day."

Daryl thought that over for a moment. "I'm a lil' offended," he said and she laughed.

His own lips quirked into a smile and he leaned down, pressing his lips to hers. Very quickly, Beth knew that this wasn't their usual peck when they parted ways in the morning to see about their individual jobs. This was a kiss that shouldn't have been in front of the rest of their family. Daryl kissed her hard and deep and Beth lifted her soapy hands to wrap her arms around his neck and his hands were tight and warm, grasping onto her hips as his mouth explored hers.

It only ended when both Eli and Aiden let out a loud "Ew!" at the display and when Daryl pulled his mouth away to tell them to shut it, Beth felt out of breath and her body seemed to be tingling everywhere.

"Why do you pick acorns?" Matt asked as he and Anna left the cabin to walk back towards the barn.

"We grind them down for flour," she answered. "We use acorn flour a lot more than we used to. We grow plenty of corn, but we don't grind it all down for flour. We have to make sure we have plenty for the animals and Beth uses so much flour, she doesn't want to go through all of our white flour all at once."

"Can you taste the difference?" Matt looked to her.

Her lips looked very pink to him that morning for some reason and he hated himself a bit for picturing himself kissing them and finding out what she tasted like. Probably eggs and tomatoes, but maybe she tasted like the blueberries from the juice she had drank instead.

Anna smiled. "It depends on what Beth makes with it. Pasta, yes. Bread, a little bit, but depends on the bread. You'll get used to the taste of everything soon enough," she said and turned the smile on him and Matt felt himself smiling as well because it all sounded great to him. Not just acorn flour, but the realization that he was getting the opportunity to try everything made with it and get used to it.

"Matt!"

Both turned just as they reached the barn and saw Bee running towards them, the little girl almost tripping over her feet as she ran as quick as she could. She snatched Matt's hand and bounced on her feet, beaming up at him.

"Will you help me and Anna pick acorns later?" She asked.

Matt smiled down at the four-year-old. "Definitely," he agreed without pausing.

With that, Bee's smile seemed to grow even larger and she hugged his leg before turning and running back towards the cabin.

"Someone's got a crush on you," Anna teased him with a smile.

Matt smiled back. "She's not the only one with a crush on me," he joked back and let out a laugh as she shoved him in the shoulder.

…

Beth and Rosita canned for hours – jar of tomato after jar of tomato went down into the root cellar and it seemed as if there were always more tomatoes waiting for them. They stopped for a bit to help Aiden and Eli with the corn and then stopped when Matt and Spencer returned with their wagon and armfuls of wood to help them unload it. The kitchen was hot and they were both sweating, and finally, when the last lid was screwed on tight, Beth felt absolutely exhausted.

"I'll be right back," Beth said to Rosita after they had cleaned up the kitchen.

She didn't say where she was going or what she was going to be doing and Rosita didn't question her. All day, Beth had been waiting for Rosita to say something to her; to look at her and know that something wasn't quite right, but even if Rosita did know something was "off", Rosita wasn't the sort to press on the matter until Beth opened up to her about whatever was going on.

Climbing the steps to the tree-house and coming onto the landing, Beth looked at the hammock they had tied out there between two of the steady branches that had split from the trunk, swaying invitingly in the gentle breeze blowing that late afternoon. It had been something silly Daryl had found during a random run – a long time ago now – and Beth looked at it now, so grateful that they had a hammock.

She took off her boots and gently climbed into the sturdy netting before laying down on her back, her knees drawn slightly up, her arms protectively holding her stomach. She heard Aiden and Eli, laughing as they took a break from corn picking so they could run around the yard, firing the Nerf gun at one another and then making sure they got to the ball before one of the goats could.

The breeze blew the hammock back and forth like a baby in a cradle and it lulled Beth's eyes to slowly shut. She was so tired. She had just found out about the baby that morning and already, the baby was kicking her ass. She didn't mind though. How could she possibly mind? She and Daryl were having a baby and she would do anything to keep this baby safe. If the baby needed her to lie down right now, that was exactly what Beth would do.

"Please stay safe," she whispered, the breeze carrying her words away, and she realized that her words were both for Daryl and their baby.

Beth drifted off, but she didn't realize it until she heard a plank of wood creak in her ear and her eyes fluttered open to see Daryl crouch down next to the hammock, his hand going to the top of her head.

"You're back," she smiled tiredly at him – having not even heard the fanfare that usually occurred from the others when he returned from a rare run – and Daryl leaned in, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah. Jus' got back. We did pretty good," he said and she kept smiling. "And I found you somethin' that I think you'll like. Brought a whole bunch back with us and figured you could do somethin' great with 'em."

Beth noticed for the first time that he had something in his hand and when he opened up his fingers so she could see it clearly, she felt instantly awake. She reached a hand out slowly, almost too afraid to touch it; her eyes and brain both still not too sure if it was actually real.

"Someone had a tree in their front yard and thing's still just growin' wild. Kind of amazin'," Daryl explained as her fingers finally touched the pear as lightly as if it was a piece of delicate glass, threatening to break into a thousand pieces.

She hadn't seen a pear in so long and she hadn't thought of them for just as long.

"You're gonna need plenty of fresh fruit," Daryl added.

And between this morning with the realization that she was pregnant again and now this, with an actual pear in her husband's hand, Beth burst into tears before she could stop herself. This was the best day.

…

Thank you very much for reading and please take a moment to review!