Author's notes:
This is completely AU at this point; canon through "On My Way".
As always, I don't own Glee or any of the songs/movies/television shows/websites/ real things referenced.
Rating is for language and some sexual content.
Approximate words this chapter: 12,000
Jumpcut
Thursday, August 2
Kurt and David walked from the serving-window of the ice cream shop back to Kurt's Navigator. Kurt always kept a stash of napkins in the compartment between the front seats for situations such as this, and David was aware; but David made sure to take a small pile of napkins with him to Kurt's car: waffle-cone ice-cream sundaes were potentially messy.
The two climbed into the front seats of Kurt's car, making themselves comfortable after slamming the doors. The early-August weather was perfect: mild, sunny, and not excessively hot; and the oncoming evening as the sun made its way toward the western horizon was cooled by a welcome breeze.
"I think this is why you normally subsist on salads and other kinds of rabbit-and-bird food," David opined as he considered Kurt's sundae, "You can still eat stuff like this and not have to worry about disrupting your body's perfect metabolism."
Kurt grinned at David. "You're onto me," he replied.
"I probably know you better than anyone else," David spoke confidently with a hint of friendly smugness. "What did you get?"
"It's a hot fudge sundae with White Turtle ice cream," Kurt replied, angling a plastic spoon into the dessert, trying to find the least-disruptive approach.
"White Castle?" David asked jokingly while similarly sizing-up his sundae.
"White Turtle," Kurt replied with a cross between a smile and a sneer. "It's vanilla with pecans and caramel rippled through it."
David grinned. "I thought maybe it was White Castle. Vanilla with chunks of hamburger and onions."
Kurt stifled a giggle. "You're being intentionally silly."
David's face affected a serious expression. "You like it when I'm silly, and you know it."
Kurt smirked defeat and spoke just before hoisting a spoonful of ice cream, fudge, and whipped cream into his mouth. "You're right. You know everything about me."
David smirked to himself, personally satisfied, as he scooped a similar spoonful from his sundae.
"So," Kurt began, "What did you end up getting?"
David swallowed before answering. "It's fresh black raspberry. A hot fudge sundae like yours otherwise. It's awesome. Want some?" David dug his spoon into the sundae and retrieved a chunk of the vanilla ice cream rippled with dark-purple black raspberry and topped with warm fudge and a smear of the whipped cream, reaching his arm over and offering it to Kurt. Kurt smiled and craned his neck toward the spoon, gently taking it into his open mouth.
"That is really good," Kurt spoke after swallowing.
"Can I try some of yours?" David asked.
"Of course," Kurt obliged by holding his sundae toward David. David poked his spoon into the sundae and pulled a chunky spoonful upward, waiting for the gooey strands of caramel to settle before pulling away and eating it.
"That's awesome," he spoke, nodding and smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth reflexively as he swallowed.
"So, what's up for the rest of the evening after this?" Kurt asked between spoonfuls of his sundae.
"Mmm," David swallowed and blotted a smear of melted ice cream from the corner of his mouth with a napkin before answering. "Nothing in mind. Hang out at my place before you go home maybe? Or go somewhere? I'm open to suggestion."
"We can go to your place," Kurt answered. "With all of the packing and Dad and Carole hanging around, I think I just want to have some quiet-time with you."
David nodded, smacking his tongue again, licking his lips before he spoke. "Yeah, it's been a while since we've done that. My parents are out. Mom and Dad are at some awards banquet for his office. It'll just be you and me, at least until they get back."
Kurt grinned, observing David as he spoke. David had that odd habit, maybe a nervous tic, of licking his lips. Kurt was careful never to mention it for fear that David's awareness of it would cause him to stop. It was one of an infinitely growing number of things which Kurt found to be incredibly endearing about David.
The two finished their sundaes, disposed of their sticky napkins, and cleaned-up with moist towelettes (Kurt always kept a handy dispenser in the Navigator at arm's reach). Kurt drove to David's house, and, upon climbing from Kurt's car, the two found themselves on the back porch.
"We can talk out here and watch the sunset," David offered as he and Kurt considered the redwood porch furniture: a couple of cushioned chairs, a long bench, and a large cushioned chaise lounge.
They both eyed the chaise lounge for a moment when Kurt said, "You think we could both fit onto that?"
"I think so," David offered, "Let me get situated, and we'll figure out the logistics." David seated himself onto the chaise lounge, working himself toward one side, leaving a space for Kurt on the other. Kurt smiled, giggled actually, and lowered himself into the space. "Oh, uh... wait a second," David spoke as he adjusted himself, "I got a wooden armrest poking me in the back, hang on."
Finally, David finally found a comfortable position, and Kurt settled himself to David's side, partially resting on David's chest, head reclined onto the cushion, his forehead resting to the side of David's head.
"This is snug, but it works for me," David spoke quietly.
"Mm-hm," Kurt hummed agreement as he took in the closeness of David's face in the golden light. "I had an incredible summer with you, David."
"Me too," David mumbled quietly, almost under his breath while gathering his thoughts to expand. "I don't think I have trouble expressing myself in words, but sometimes I don't do that because I think I'm going to sound sappy or cheesy or something. I'm not going to hold back right now, though. Everything we did together this summer from the coolest stuff to the most mundane activities became, like, amazing experiences for me because you were here with me." David's voice was low, maybe nervous, but his delivery was determined.
"David, I can say the same, and it doesn't sound sappy to me at all." Kurt's voice was quiet but sincere. "And we had the most incredibly fun times."
This brought forth a smile from David as Kurt continued. "Getting up early almost every morning to meet you at the park, the graduation parties, the crazy midnight movies out at OSU, every dinner, every trip to get dessert or ice cream, the couple of roadtrips: it was all amazing. Even those reckless parties with Chris and those guys."
"Mm-hmm," David laughed. "You thought that was reckless? You should have seen Strando last year, before he, uh, cut back his beer consumption."
Kurt closed his eyes and shook his head in dismay before adding, "We went shopping for clothes, more than once, even."
"That was painless, actually," David admitted. "No, I take that back. It was actually kinda fun. Granted, we were shopping for mostly casual stuff, but it went far smoother than I thought it would."
"I look forward to dressing you up a little in the future," Kurt added.
"I'm actually looking forward to that too," David said with a smile, nearly an air of pride.
"We changed the brake pads on your truck," Kurt offered.
"Yeah," David's eyes brightened in reaction. "First time I ever did anything mechanical on a car. I felt like I was superhuman, not being at the mercy of some mechanic."
"Hey," Kurt jokingly protested, "what's wrong with being at the mercy of a mechanic?"
David snickered. "Nothing, I guess. But it was pretty amazing to get my hands dirty with my boyfriend in the process."
Kurt blushed and smiled. The two were silent for a moment until Kurt asked, "Which was your favorite graduation party we attended?"
"Yours," David answered without hesitation.
"Mine?" Kurt sounded surprised. "Mine and Finn's?"
"Yeah," David turned and addressed Kurt directly, nodding his head. "Definitely yours and Finn's."
"David, mine felt more like a wake than a graduation party. I was all out-of-sorts about not knowing what I was doing in the fall having not gotten into NYADA. Finn was a couple of weeks away from leaving for the army. It was just kinda sad."
"You seemed to be having a good time," David noted.
"Only because you were there with me," Kurt interjected quickly. "If you hadn't been there, it probably would have been pretty sad for me."
"Well," David remarked, "that's exactly why it was my favorite." Kurt closed his eyes and smiled as David continued. "If just me being there was enough to make you feel better at your own potentially depressing graduation party, well, then, that's reason enough for it to have been the best grad party of the summer, for me at least."
"Oh, c'mon, David," Kurt sounded almost scolding, "you had to be having more fun at, say Chris's or Howie's parties."
"More silly fun, maybe, yeah," David answered defensively. "But, I mean, that really can't compare to the closeness I feel with you. If this was the most amazing summer of my life, which it definitely was, it's what I have with you that made it that way." David paused for a moment before expanding his thoughts. "Plus, I mean, Finn and I had gotten pretty close. It wasn't the last time I saw him before he left, but it was good to give him, like, a formal send-off." David paused for a moment before asking hesitantly, "Wha-which was your favorite grad party we went to?"
Kurt sighed. "You won't be bothered if I say one other than yours, will you?"
David snickered. "Not at all. Mine was boring, and I know it. Although, all my mom's annoying friends became enamored with one Kurt Hummel that night."
Kurt laughed. "That's probably why it doesn't rate so highly with me as a party. I mean, networking myself as a fashion consultant to affluent local women turned into the best summer job I ever had, along with the French and English tutoring jobs which your friend Rupert helped me get. Otherwise, though, I didn't get to spend much time with you at your graduation party, and you were busy greeting all of the guests."
"Yeah" David sighed wistfully.
"My favorites were Gretchen's little post-commencement get-together and Howie's party," Kurt offered.
"Really?" David reacted, surprised somewhat. "I'd have thought it would have been Rachel's or Mercedes' or one of your other friends from McKinley."
Kurt shook his head subtly, jerkily. "No, I mean, those were nice, but there was always the Blaine elephant in the room. He was polite enough to both of us, but we were all keeping our distance. That made everything very awkward for me, especially that almost-obligatory around-the-piano singalong that ended Rachel's party."
"That was just totally weird," David confessed. "I have never been at a party like that before."
"When you go to the Berrys' for any reason at all, you can expect her dads to sit at the piano while Rachel and whoever else happens to be around sing," Kurt concluded, "It's part of the deal."
"Actually, Blaine did talk to me a little at Rachel's party," David admitted. "Mostly small talk, like 'groovy weather we've been having, huh?'"
"'Groovy'?" Kurt's face twisted at the word.
"Yeah," David nodded, "he seems to be channeling some weird, uh, wannabe bohemian vibe or something."
"Yes, I did notice that his manner of dress was a little less than impeccable, and he was wearing his hair longer and more relaxed," Kurt observed.
"Did you think it was working for him?"
"No," Kurt muttered quietly, almost regretfully, "he went from a fake something to a fake something else."
"Maybe not," David opined. "You never know. Maybe this is more his real self." David's voice became quieter when he asked, "Did you two ever get to talking again this summer?"
"No," Kurt responded, a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Other than congenial greetings st the parties, we both kept our distance."
After a span of silence, David asked, "So, then, why were Howie's and Gretchen's parties your favorite ones?"
Kurt was slow and thoughtful in answering. "Well, it was at Gretchen's party that I realized that the feelings I was having for you were stronger than friendship and admiration. It was at that party that I knew that I wanted to be closer to you in every respect." David smiled as Kurt reached for David's hand and, holding it in his own, pulled it upward and held it close to his chest. "And then, by the time of Howie's party, you and I were together, and Howie's party was such a fun, crazy time with such a mix of wild people, like I'd never been to a party with such a mix of eclectic types." Kurt giggled softly for a moment. "And you and I were able to sneak off and have some undisturbed time together and return to the party, and I'd never done anything like that before."
At that David smiled fully, almost a laugh, biting his lower lip in his wide grin. "And I think back to Gretchen's party," David recollected, "there was Howie, probably the geekiest guy I've ever known, and he ends up getting laid well before I ever did."
Kurt's face creased though he was still smiling. "Oh, come on, David. You're just more discriminating than Howie was. You weren't just going to give it away to first interested party."
"That's true," David said with a nod and an affected expression of confidence, "and that was another amazing thing that happened this summer."
Kurt continued, caressing David's hand as he held it to his chest. "Waiting until it felt right, but we didn't have to wait too long," Kurt paused before gently speaking, "and losing our virginity to each other?"
"Nnngh." David's face soured slightly with a disapproving sound.
"What?" Kurt asked innocently.
"That word, 'losing'," David explained. "To me, 'lost' always sounds like something unintentional. What we did was definitely intentional."
"Okay, maybe, then, we took each other's virginity?" Kurt offered.
"That sounds worse," David's face retained an irked expression. "To me 'took' sounds almost like theft or something. That wasn't the case at all."
"Okay, smarty," Kurt whispered, playfully challenging David, "how would you say it?"
David thought for a moment, collecting his words. "I might say that we gave ourselves to each other that way, and... that... we accepted that from each other. Both ways, really."
"Both ways," Kurt's expression became more serious.
"Yeah," David expanded, "as gay men, we can kinda, um, give ourselves twice."
Kurt smiled thoughtfully. "We can lose our vir...oops, I mean give our virginity twice. You mean, like, once as top and once as bottom?"
"Mm-hm," David hummed quietly, shyly, almost hesitant.
"Y'know that's amazing," Kurt observed, still quiet but slightly louder. "You drop the f-bomb regularly, and it sounds so second-nature that everyone who knows you is completely desensitized to it, but you can't bring yourself to use terms like that, or even, like 'top' and 'bottom' when it comes to talking about us." David chuckled quietly as Kurt asked, "Now, why is that?"
David shook his head and looked at Kurt with an almost embarrassed smile. "I don't know. I guess it's because those terms, even, like, the fairly innocuous ones, sound a little vulgar or something, and, in my mind, there's nothing vulgar about what you and I have together."
David's explanation left Kurt silent for a moment, thoughtful, face blank before he spoke again, quietly exasperated. "Dammit, David. The way your mind works, the things you say, you get right to me."
"It's a good thing, I hope," David said, a pleading hint to his voice.
Kurt exhaled loudly, before speaking again, quietly. "It's perfect, David. It's almost too perfect. You have a way of putting things that almost, like, stings, but it's perfect."
David smiled to himself as Kurt clung their hands tighter into his chest, knowing his logic had won Kurt over, but Kurt wasn't ready to let his facial expression admit it yet. David lifted Kurt's chin to the level of his own. Kurt fought back a smile but eventually succumbed. David tilted and stretched his neck allowing his lips to meet Kurt's briefly. As they unlocked, Kurt's eyes were closed, but his face bore a contented smile as rested his head on David's shoulder.
The light from the setting sun continued to warm the back porch as the remainder of the sky streaked with mauve. The silence felt perfect, but it didn't last for more than a minute.
"Our road trip to the school at Oberlin was pretty awesome," Kurt commented.
"Yeah," David answered, almost reluctant, but added, "They treated you like royalty there."
"You know that was all your doing, David."
David laughed. "It wasn't all my doing. I just gave you the initial idea, and everything fell into place."
"Take some credit, David," Kurt scolded with a smile. "You told me to see if Carmen Tibideaux would recommend me to a performing arts school. Not only did she recommend me, but her recommendation pretty-much had the people at the Oberlin school come to me to offer me an enrollment; and, Ms. Tibideaux all but guaranteed my acceptance to NYADA next fall as long as I do well at the Oberlin school."
"Well, I'm glad that I could help you to get what you wanted," David spoke, a serious expression. "I mean, I know that Oberlin isn't exactly a bustling metropolis like New York is."
"No, but, I mean, we made that roadtrip together," Kurt countered, enthusiastic. "It's a charming little college town, and it's less than an hour from Cleveland. And, it's better than me wasting time in Lima until this time next year."
David nodded silently.
"You are going to drive me out there next week, right?" Kurt asked. "Help me take my last few things out there and stay with me at my apartment Sunday into Monday, right?"
"Yeah," David voiced quietly, even moreso the second time, "yeah."
Kurt sensed a shift in David's mood; he collected his thoughts before speaking. "David, you're going away to college, and I'm going away to college, but I don't want this to be the end. We have to at least give this our best shot, to make this work. I hope you agree with me about that."
"Yeah, I do." David replied, nervous. "I'm glad you said it. I wasn't sure what you were going to say."
They were both silent for a moment before Kurt spoke, an uneasiness in his voice. "How can you say that, David?"
David inhaled and spoke. "I'm kinda scared, Kurt."
"Don't you trust me, David?"
"Kurt, I trust you completely," David's response was immediate and direct. "I trust you more than I think I trust my dad, and you know how close I feel with my dad. The thing is, Kurt, I don't do so well when I feel alone, and I'm going into a situation where I'm going to be alone, at least for a while. I can't say what that's going to feel like or anything. I mean, I'm going to miss my friends, and I'm really gonna miss my mom and dad, but I'm gonna miss you so much, Kurt. It's different when I know I can see you almost every day. I'm almost scared when I think about how it's going to feel to get up in a strange place every morning and know that you're three hours away from me as opposed to a ten-minute drive."
"David, you can be an absolutely charming person," Kurt began, "and I'm sure it's going to be a lot easier for you to make friends than you think it is." Kurt paused for a moment before continuing. "Until something proves me wrong, I'm not going to lose faith in what you and I have. If you're lonely or sad or troubled, I want you to call me. If I can't answer or talk right at that time, I will call you as soon as I can. All of this goes without saying, David."
"I know, I know," David whispered, sounding almost anxious.
"And, of course I want to know when good things happen too," Kurt added. "Even though we won't be a short drive away, I want to be as big a part of your life as I can."
David's face betrayed a hinted smile.
"And we're going to be three hours away," Kurt continued. "We can visit each other sometimes. "And we'll both be back home for Thanksgiving break and the break between semesters." Kurt paused for a moment before sounding playfully threatening. "And you are my date for Mr. Schue's wedding, right?"
David chuckled. "Yeah, absolutely. I am actually looking forward to that."
"You'll be able to fulfill that goal of dancing with me where people can see us," Kurt reminded, smiling. "It's only six weeks away."
"Mmm-hmm, but it's going to feel like forever." At this, David tipped his head to rest on Kurt's; and Kurt turned, Kissing David's cheek briefly before squirming himself snugger against David. "Thanks for the dance lessons, Kurt."
"I think people are going to be impressed," Kurt added. "Oh, you know that Finn's going to be there?"
"No, I didn't know that," David became animated.
"Yes, he's Mr. Schue's best man," Kurt explained.
"I did not know that," David proclaimed more loudly. "That's very cool. I'll get to see him at the wedding then."
"Are you and Finn keeping in touch with each other like you planned," Kurt asked.
"Yes," David answered. "Not really much when he was in basic training, but now that he's done, yeah, we'll email each other a couple of times a week. Do you hear from him much?"
"About the same," Kurt answered with a snicker. "He asked me for a picture of me and you together."
"Oh, yeah?" David chuckled. "That's cool. Which one did you send him?"
"I sent him a zip file of about twenty," David burst into a belly-laugh as Kurt continued unfazed. "I liked them all too much to pick a favorite, so I thought I'd let him decide which ones he liked."
"I'm laughing, but that would be me too," David said. "I'd definitely have trouble picking out a favorite picture of you and me. Hey, is Rachel going to be at Mr. Schue's wedding?"
"Yes, Rachel is planning to come," Kurt answered.
"How's she settling in up in NYC?" David asked.
Kurt shook his head. "Her dads are so extravagant. They actually contacted some of their friends in New York and got a sweet deal on a house in the village and bought it for her."
"They bought her a house?" David was dumbfounded. "In New York?"
"Yes, her dads are loaded, and she emailed me pictures of it," Kurt informed. "It's a cute little thing. Two floors, a terrace on the upper level, and an efficiency apartment on the basement level." Kurt paused for a moment. "Unless it's being used, that efficiency would be a perfect place for me to live if I decide to go to NYADA next year."
"Do you think you could share a living space with Rachel? I mean, don't you think she'd drive you nuts eventually?"
"Well, that's the thing," Kurt answered, "It would be my own space so I wouldn't need to deal with her if I didn't want to."
"Ah," David nodded before lowering the volume of his voice and asking, "I know it's years off, but, when the time comes, do you think you'll be able to live with me?"
Kurt smiled, but it was tempered with thought. After a moment, he spoke. "David, I can't say I know how our feelings about each other might change in the next few years. All I can say is that, what feels right now is that we give this our best try. If we make it to the semester break, I think we'll be good. If we make it to the end of the second semester, I'll be convinced that this is totally solid. The thing is, we're not the same people we were even a year ago. A lot can change, but I can say this: if you're still the same person inside as you are now, I think that I'm going to want to be with that man. He's won me over completely. He has an internal beauty about the way he thinks and things he does that consistently amazes me, and I'm in love with him."
David's face went blank. He was staring almost into space, mouth slightly agape; he spoke. "I'm just going to be quiet for a little while, I think. You just pretty-much said everything." David's voice quivered slightly and he made a quite gulping sound before he said, "I'm in love with you too, Kurt."
David breathed loudly, and his eyes watered slightly. "Um, Kurt, could you sit up for a second? My arm is falling asleep." Kurt sat up as David released his left arm from beneath him, stretched it outward, and shook it. Kurt settled himself back to David's side, more comfortable this time for both of them, as David wrapped his arm around Kurt and faced him. David addressed Kurt with soft, watery eyes for a moment before softly pulling him close. Their lips met softly as well. As they pulled apart, Kurt rested his head on David's shoulder once again, and David leaned his head onto Kurt's. David let his fingers settle in Kurt's hair, softly tangling.
"Besides, David," Kurt spoke, "I think we tested it out by spending enough time with each other this summer to come to the conclusion that we're not going to drive each other nuts when that time comes, when we're living together."
David smiled at the certainty implied by Kurt's statement as Kurt let out a yawn that made both chuckle briefly. The remaining sun was an orange glow on the horizon as the rest of the sky streaked with violet and dark blue of the oncoming twilight. It was brief minutes before Kurt nodded to sleep on David's shoulder.
Though it was hardly something new or unique at this this point in time, the feeling of having Kurt asleep in his arms never failed to make David sublimely, quietly happy. The same held true for the times when David would wake in Kurt's embrace. Though the ideas of the summer coming to its end and Kurt and David being separated by over a hundred miles and a state line still troubled David, he was troubled far less by the prospect than he was an hour ago. That Kurt found it worthwhile, essential even, to keep themselves together through being physically apart calmed David's anxieties; and David himself drifted to sleep in the cooling night air.
"Okay, kids, that's very sweet, but if I don't wake you up now, you're gonna be asleep out here all night." Paul's voice was quiet, but loud enough to rouse Kurt and David into a confusing half-wakened state. "And if you're asleep out here all night, I'd have to wake you up by singing 'Wake Up Little Susie' tomorrow morning, and that's something neither of you want to hear, trust me on that."
David and Kurt both shook their heads in unison to see Paul standing before them with a smirk on his face. "Your mother and I just got in, David. I saw Kurt's car in the driveway and assumed you might be out here since the house seemed deserted."
"Mmm," David rubbed his eyes as stretched out an arm and shook his head again. "What time is it, Dad?" David spoke with a sleepy, slightly embarrassed smile on his face.
"It's still early," Paul answered, "Ten-after-nine."
"Hi, Mr. Karofsky."
"Nice seeing you, Kurt," Paul smiled and nodded politely.
"How was your banquet?" David voiced, scratchy-sounding.
"Boring," Paul answered. "Same as they are every year; but the food is good, and I think your mother likes them. I'm going back inside and leave you two alone."
"Thanks for waking us, Dad," David spoke as Paul returned to the inside of the house through the French doors.
Kurt sat upright on the edge of the piece of furniture, legs over the side and feet resting on the concrete foundation; David sat up as well, pulling his left leg up under himself and swinging the other around to Kurt's right side, his chest close to Kurt's back, arms around Kurt's trunk, hands meeting with Kurt's hands on the other side. Kurt stretched his arms forward, taking David's hands with his, still trying to work the drowsiness out of himself before softly leaning against David and wrapping both their arms close to him. Kurt turned his head in David's direction. David turned toward Kurt, his lips unintentionally brushing against Kurt's ear as they met unexpectedly.
Kurt chuckled lightly before speaking. "I could stay like this all night."
"Me too," David answered, and the two enjoyed the quiet sound of the other's breathing before David spoke again, quietly. "I was a little worried before, Kurt. About us. You cleared all of that up. I know it might not be easy, but at least I know that we're both committed to this. And that's what I wanted to hear."
Kurt smiled and craned his head further so his eyes could meet David's, giving him a reassuring smile as David continued to speak. "It's hard because I know we both want to go to school, and we can't be in the same place for that. I can't say I'm happy because we're going to be apart, but you at least made me feel like I shouldn't worry." As their eyes remained locked, David's face surrendered to a smile, small but genuine. "I think part of Dad's purpose in leaving us out here by ourselves was so that we could kiss each other goodnight."
"Your father is very thoughtful," Kurt whispered through a grin, "and accommodating.".
"My dad gets it," David spoke quietly with an affected smug grin as he moved closer to press his lips to Kurt's.
Sunday August 12
Kurt's move-in day
Kurt had already made one trip to his apartment in Oberlin to deliver the majority of his necessary belongings: most of his clothes (nearly all of them were uncharacteristically casual, realizing for practical reasons that he would not need to be wowing anyone with his formal high-fashion prowess in the immediate future; and, if he did, he was an absolute wizard at accessorizing and embellishing the most humdrum of outfits into dynamic points of interest). This trip merely required the moving of his last few personal items: his skin-care products, personal grooming items, some final pieces of apparel, his laptop, and a mattress and box-spring set (the apartment was furnished and provided a twin bed frame, but it required the rest).
David was driving. The mattress and box-spring, both still in their factory wrappings, fit perfectly into the bed of his pickup truck, and David strapped a few bungee cables across the truck bed to keep them in place. The few other small items Kurt was bringing fit into the space behind the seats in the extended cab. The weather was perhaps hotter than ideal, but, with the AC running, the cab of David's truck cooled quickly. David had offered to listen to Kurt's selection of music for the two-and-a-half-hour drive, but Kurt said that he wanted David to make the choice of music. It had occurred to Kurt that, for as much as they'd have gotten to know each other over the summer, he really had no idea of the kind of music David liked.
Their mood began as bright and optimistic: small talk, conversational, sight-seeing; but as the time passed, they became less talkative. By the time they reached site of Kurt's apartment, their mood seemed almost somber.
David parked his truck on the street in front of the old house which had been divided into six small apartments: Kurt's was one of four on the ground-floor.
"This is actually a pretty amazing-looking old house," David observed while delivering his comment with an indifferent tone, almost as if feeling that some conversation needed to be made, as he busied himself with unhooking the restraining cables from the bed of the truck, thereby releasing the mattress and box-spring.
"Yes, I like it aesthetically," Kurt remarked honestly but with an equal amount of emotion.
David hoisted one end of the mattress out of the bed, and Kurt took over from him, pulling it backward from the truck bed. David picked up the unattended end of the mattress as it neared the edge of the bed, and both young men walked the mattress to the front door of the old house, resting it briefly on the landing at the threshold. Kurt retrieved his key and opened the front doors. The hallway was wide, which made moving the large item fairly simple. As they approached the door to Kurt's apartment, they lowered the mattress again as Kurt unlocked the door, turned the knob, and pushed the door open. The two lifted the mattress again and moved it into the apartment.
The inside of the apartment was somewhat stuffy, and, once resting the mattress on the floor, Kurt set about opening some of the windows. David looked around noting that the white walls were almost too-white, probably indicating a fresh coat of paint in the last couple of months. There were some spare furnishings around the studio-apartment layout: a built-in shelving unit; the aforementioned twin-bed frame with a nightstand; a small utilitarian dresser, chest of drawers, and mirror; a desk and chair next to a waist-high, stand-alone shelving unit; a small dining table and two chairs placed in close proximity to a small kitchen area which held an efficiency-size electric range, a full-size refrigerator, single-basin sink with two small cupboards above and below; the bathroom area was located just to the side of the bed and nightstand. The closet was half-filled with Kurt's clothing, and several unopened boxes of Kurt's unpacked belongings were stacked in the corner near the desk.
"This looks pretty-much like the apartment I'm moving into," David offered. "Do you wanna go out and get the box-spring?"
"Sure," Kurt answered, "I can get that set-up and out of the way."
The two returned to the truck-bed and lifted the box-spring and carried it into the apartment in much the same manner as they had with the mattress, though unlocking doors was not necessary this time. After placing the box-spring in the room, David returned to the truck to pull the remainder of Kurt's items from the cab, collecting and stashing the bungee cables there in the process. He returned to the apartment with Kurt's remaining items to find that Kurt had removed the plastic covering from both the mattress and box spring. David placed the last of Kurt's items, two medium-sized boxes, Kurt's laptop, a suit case, and messenger bag, near the stack of boxes.
"Ready to help me with the box spring and mattress?" Kurt asked.
David nodded a nonverbal response, immediately jumping to assist Kurt, first with the box-spring, then the mattress. "I'm going to miss my full-size bed," Kurt commented.
"I'd say the same, but you know I don't have any trouble sleeping anywhere," David offered, deadpan.
The bed was set-up and Kurt searched his boxes for sheets, pillows, and blankets while David walked around the apartment and silently observed for a moment, finally asking, "Is there some unpacking or something I can help you with?"
"No, I found what I'm looking for," Kurt said, pulling sheets and pillowcases from a cardboard box. "You can help me pull this fitted mattress pad and sheet onto the bed, though, if you like."
David, who was standing with his hands in his pockets, appearing somewhat nervous, sprung into action, appearing now almost too eager to assist. The two made short work of stretching first the mattress pad then the fitted sheet over the mattress. Kurt then attended to unfolding a top sheet and tossing his pillows onto the bed. David, once again, found himself standing in the center of the room, hands in pockets, looking around, nervously.
"I'm probably going to look around for a small couch or maybe a large chair to put in the center of the room in front of where I'll put my TV," Kurt commented, unfurling a blanket. "Eventually maybe a small entertainment center. I don't want to get too much furniture because I'll probably only be here a year."
"You could improvise a TV stand out of some cheap shelving," David offered quietly, "You could even leave that behind when you moved."
Kurt had finished dressing the bed and proceeded to close the windows. A breeze had aired the stuffiness out of the space, but it remained warm, and Kurt wanted to turn on the small air conditioner. "Ready to go get dinner?" Kurt asked brightly.
"Sure," David replied, forcing a smile. "What's around?"
"Well, there are a couple of bar-type-restaurant national-chain-type things around," Kurt explained, "but there's this cute diner within walking distance from here I'd like to check out."
David smiled, more convincingly this time, "Lead the way."
Kurt locked his apartment, and the two walked a block-and-a-half, turned a corner, and walked another half-block to arrive at a well-kept old building marked by a sign which read simply, 'DINER'. The two entered and took a booth toward the rear of the room; they were met by a server, a friendly middle-aged woman delivering glasses of ice water and menus to them, almost immediately. Kurt ordered a turkey club sandwich while David ordered a bacon-double cheeseburger and a side of fries. The two spoke very little through their dinner, though David did make the observation that the diner had short hours, being open only until six o'clock in the evening on Sundays and eight o'clock on weekdays though they opened every morning at five o'clock. Kurt thought this normal for small diners in a college town where they probably attracted a healthy clientele for mealtimes but little in the evenings.
As they finished dinner, Kurt observed the dessert menu touting homemade pies, and he and David decided to take a couple of slices of blackberry pie back to Kurt's apartment to eat later in the evening.
Arriving back at Kurt's apartment, the two commenced to opening boxes and sorting through Kurt's belongings: putting things into drawers and onto shelves. After about ninety minutes of time had elapsed and the sky was beginning to darken, the two sat at the small dining table and opened the clamshell box holding the pie from the diner.
Once again, they ate in near-silence with Kurt contributing compliments to the pie and David merely nodding agreement. Kurt sensed that David was troubled, and his concern was becoming more apparent.
After they finished the dessert, Kurt cleared the dishes and forks from the table, placing them into the sink. He returned to the table, pulling his chair closer to David's. David's hands were resting on the tabletop, and Kurt placed one of his hands atop David's.
"David, is everything alright?"
David shook his head and looked from their hands on the table to downward to their hands again and finally downward, coming to a rest there. "I'm sorry, Kurt. I'm sorry." David's voice was high-pitched and scratchy, the words forced out around a heavy throat. "I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I wanted this night to be happy and romantic or something. This is the last time I'm going to see you for a while, and I'm fucking this up because I'm going to miss you so much." By this point, David was no longer trying to hide the fact that he was crying.
"David, you're not messing anything up," Kurt reassured as he placed a hand upon David's back, working it up to his shoulder. "I had no expectations for tonight except that I wanted to spend this night with you. Your feelings matter to me, probably more than my own. It doesn't matter much to me what we actually do tonight as long as we're together."
At this, David turned himself to face Kurt and gently wrapped his arms around him, slowly draining his eyes into Kurt's shoulder. Kurt pulled David in snuggly and rubbed his hands on David's back until David calmed.
They sat for a while at the table, eventually standing and changing into their sleep clothes. David wore a plain white T-shirt and running shorts; Kurt wore a T-shirt also but with flannel lounge pants. The room was comfortable enough to not require Kurt's blanket. Kurt lay on his back while David rested on his side, facing Kurt, their hands entwined and resting over Kurt's heart, David's head tipped close to Kurt's ear. For a long time, they lay awake, silent, and moving very little save for David gently caressing the back of Kurt's hand.
"So," David finally spoke, quietly, "you've got the Navigator parked for the semester?"
Kurt answered just as quietly. "Yes. Everything I need is within walking distance here. If I need to go to Cleveland, I can take a bus or call a cab if need be. Dad will be picking me up for the times when I want to come home to Lima." Kurt paused for a moment. "I'm pretty sure we'll be taking the Navigator to Mr. Schue's wedding."
This drew a smile out of David. "You mean you don't wanna get all dressed up and arrive in my truck?"
Kurt giggled. "I really don't much care whose car we take as long as we're together." Kurt reached his free arm around David, though the maneuver wasn't entirely easy for him, and pulled David closer. "Like right now. I really don't much care what we're doing as long as we're together."
"Yeah, well, my dad will be driving me out to Pittsburgh next weekend for my move," David began. "He's taking my truck back to Lima for the same reasons. We'll see how that works out, though. Two-and-a-half hours one-way from Lima to Oberlin is a lot easier on a driver than five hours one-way from Lima to Pittsburgh. If it seems like too much of a hassle when Mr. Schuester's wedding happens, then I'll just be returning to Pittsburgh with my truck when the weekend's over. I gotta see what my parking options are going to be also."
Kurt raised his hand, letting it rest on David's neck, softly rubbing and caressing him there. "Are you getting tired, David?" Kurt asked softly.
"Yeah," David answered, "getting there."
"A good cry will do that," Kurt softly intoned.
"I'm sorry about that."
"Don't be sorry, David," Kurt corrected.
"Okay, I'm not sorry," David spoke, sounding calm, after a moment.
Kurt turned his head to face David's and kissed David's forehead. David's eyes remained closed though he smiled. "Goodnight, David," Kurt whispered.
"Goodnight, Kurt," David answered as he raised his head, eyes still closed , but instinctively finding Kurt's lips with his and meeting them with a lingering kiss before dropping his head again.
Monday, August 13
When Kurt awoke, he was not altogether comfortable. He was on his back, body primarily straight. David was lying on his side in a fetal position, his head half-resting on Kurt's ribcage and legs curled upward, entangling Kurt's. The way they were situated reminded Kurt of the famous Annie Leibovitz photo of John Lennon and Yoko Ono, betraying the fetal-postured John as a needy man-child; and this disturbed Kurt slightly. The fact that bright sunlight was streaming in the windows, illuminating the living tableau made the sight more uncomfortable until Kurt looked closely at David. He'd been sweating in his sleep, which he often did: the neckband of his T-shirt was visibly moist. David's hair was in disarray: once again, a specific David sleeping-trait. Kurt couldn't see David's face from their positions, but he wished that he could: he loved the way David's face appeared as he slept.
Before long, though, David's body stirred, and a groggy hum came from deep in his throat. He straightened his body and looked up at Kurt's face. David's face appeared altogether content. Kurt reached downward to place his hands on David's shoulders while David hoisted himself slightly. "Sorry if last night was a little heavy, but I feel much better now."
Kurt smiled. "I guess a good night's sleep makes a big difference."
"Yeah," David admitted. "I feel kinda stupid for acting like I did."
"Those were honest feelings. Nothing to feel stupid about."
"Thanks," David said quietly, looking away.
"How long do you plan to stay today, David?" Kurt asked.
"Well, I don't want to be making a long drive back to Lima at night, but then, if I leave by five in the afternoon, I'll have daylight the whole way home."
"And almost all of the day here with me," Kurt grinned.
David smiled, crooked, almost cocky. "Can we eat breakfast at that diner we had dinner at yesterday?"
"Sure," Kurt answered, "Their breakfast menu looked great."
"Cool," David offered. "Are you hungry yet?"
"Not especially," Kurt answered. "You?"
"Yeah but not, like, dying or anything," David remarked as he climbed up and positioned himself on top of Kurt. Kurt's eyes bulged for a moment as he let out a quiet squeal with a smile. David smiled also, adding, "I am feeling kinda frisky right now, though."
Kurt nodded, casting his eyes up toward David. "I can see that. And I can feel that. Breakfast can wait."
Both moved toward the other, and their lips met: it was aggressive action on both their parts, a deep kiss, but it wasn't rough. When they parted, Kurt spoke. "Where did you leave my messenger bag?"
David's eyes wandered for a moment. "It's over by those boxes."
"We're going to need it. That's where I stashed the transmission fluid."
David chuckled at Kurt's euphemism. "That's cute, but maybe 'penetrating oil' is a better term?"
"I thought of that," Kurt grinned, "but I thought it sounded too obvious."
"We don't need to go the whole, like, distance," David offered, "We could just, like fool around a little."
Kurt shook his head, continuing to smile. "The next time I see you is weeks away, David. If we're going to do this, we're going to do this, okay?"
David bounced his head, nodding, eyes resting on Kurt's. "Yeah." David stood from the bed and retrieved Kurt's bag.
"Just open the bag," Kurt mentioned, "It should be pretty easy to find."
David lifted the flap and, among bottles of moisturizer and tubes of boutique shaving lotions, he found the small clear plastic bottle he was seeking.
David was typically forward and playful at the onset, he'd come a distance from the physically tentative and shy demeanor he'd displayed at the beginning of the summer, but he was always incredibly conscious of his partner, perhaps to a fault. Kurt, though, was never left wanting: David's soft-touch approach was yet another of those personality traits which Kurt found to be perfectly sublime and quintessential to the David which he, and only he, knew. Of course, there was no way of overlooking the physical attributes of either Kurt or David: both young men were certainly substantial: no amount of bedroom politeness could negate the specific tangible characteristics of their bodies.
This particular time found both lying on their left sides, Kurt's back to David's chest. Though the preparatory actions were slightly awkward from this bearing, David appreciated the intimacy this position afforded: their faces next to each other, his being able to read Kurt's expressions and kiss Kurt's face, the tactile rewards of holding hands and touching. The posture wasn't terribly acrobatic either, suiting itself to a first activity of the day. David comfortably built to a solid rhythm, ultimately mechanical with a seemingly metronomic accuracy, though he was ever-conscious of Kurt. Occasionally, Kurt, face flushed and lips red, would increase his own movement's tempo and strength, consciously deepening the penetration, giving David the unspoken invitation to increase the intensity of his actions. David pulled himself closer and increased his speed, resting his head, nearly pushing it down against Kurt's; reaching for and stroking Kurt with a slick, lubricated hand. Since even their earliest encounters together, David was always mindful of bringing Kurt to climax; this morning was no exception. Kurt's body stiffened, signalling his approach. David kept his rate steady, but turned his face to kiss Kurt, first his ear, then his cheek, then stretching his neck to reach Kurt's lips, agape without words or sounds. Kurt's body quaked. And again. Though his eyes were closed, David felt Kurt's repeating shudder and the warm liquid slickening his right hand further. It wasn't long, less than a minute, before David released as well, punctuating the extended moment by meeting Kurt's lips with his, long and deep.
The two lay embraced for some time, silent at first, moving subtly, caressing. soft kisses, shifting their bodies together.
"I'm glad we had that, David."
"Me too," David agreed, quietly. "I was a little disappointed that it didn't happen last night."
"Don't be," Kurt retorted softly. "If it didn't happen at all, it would have been okay. I understand the way you were feeling last night. It's the way that your mind works, the full sweep of what you're feeling that makes you so amazing to me." Kurt paused for a moment before adding, with a smirk, "That said, it was awesome."
David smiled wide, pulling Kurt closer and kissing his cheek. "I love you."
"I love you too, David," Kurt returned as he twisted himself to face David.
The two lingered on each other's faces before David spoke again. "So what's next on our agenda for the day?"
Kurt's face formed a thinking expression before he catalogued, "Shower together, go out for breakfast, walk around the campus to find the buildings and rooms for my schedule, stuff like that." Kurt paused. "Grab late lunch or dinner later on. Eventually get back here."
"You don't want me to help you unpack some more?" David questioned.
"No, I can do that myself," Kurt answered, "That's boring."
David smiled and looked away for a moment. "Can we get back here early enough so you can do that for me? You know, what we just did?"
Kurt smirked again, slightly wicked, nodding. "Sure."
The day followed Kurt's brief summary. The weather was perfect: dry and clear, warm without being hot; and the walk around the campus was rewarding. Though sprawling, nothing was an uncomfortable walking distance from Kurt's apartment; the buildings and classrooms themselves were old and interesting. Kurt seemed enthusiastic about a music composition course he'd be taking, having never delved into that aspect of his interests previously. Kurt also mentioned that he planned to continue his routine of running in the morning as the campus grounds were flat and conducive to such activity, though he did verbally lament the absence of his favorite running partner.
By two o'clock, Kurt and David had returned to the apartment. Though their afternoon encounter had been planned earlier, it felt organic and natural when it happened. At the onset, Kurt, much like David, was conscious of his partner's sensitivity. As the activity progressed, however, Kurt always channelled an energy and intensity that initially surprised both of them. Though Kurt was in the top position less frequently than David, he was adept: he was stronger than one would imagine, his form was lithe and agile, and his normally self-conscious public veneer succumbed to an almost primitive fervor. Kurt became an aggressive animalistic machine; the expressions David's face answered to the movement left Kurt with no doubt that David was built for this: he could take it, he was built to take it, and he wanted it that way from Kurt. The two lost time as their eyes locked: David's one of a person lost in the sweep of the moment, Kurt's one of intense determination. Ultimately Kurt climaxed first, but, still rigid, continued his actions through aftershocks and spasms until, assisted by Kurt's wet hand, David followed with an expression of near pain and a squeal.
As they cooled, Kurt rested on his side, head on David's chest. David's arm wrapped around Kurt, pulling their sweaty bodies softly together. They were motionless for some time, save for the rise and fall of their breathing, nearly synchronized.
"It's not three-thirty yet," David spoke quietly. "We can grab a shower and go get dinner."
Kurt remained silent for the immediate until David shifted his arm, coaxing Kurt to face him. David smiled, small but perfectly content, and pulled Kurt close, meeting Kurt's lips with his.
"That was incredible, Kurt," David whispered.
"You like that?" Kurt remarked, a hint of uncertainty.
"It's you," David answered. "What's not to like? What's not to love?"
David sat upright, pulling Kurt with him, addressing Kurt's eyes with his. "I'm going to miss you, and that's a little sad," David began. "But, I know that's how it needs to be right now, and I'll deal with it."
Kurt nodded, face spreading into a smile. "I'm going to miss you too, David."
Kurt pulled himself close, leaning his head into David's chest as David wrapped his arms snuggly around Kurt and held him.
Friday, August 17
David's move-in day
Paul and David were up and moving early. Paul had taken the day off of work to ride with David and help move him into his apartment in Pittsburgh, afterwhich Paul would drive David's truck back to Lima. The truck was packed with David's boxed belongings, and the two were on the road at nine o'clock. Lorraine packed a small cooler for their lunch; they would eat sometime after arriving at their destination, nearly five hours away. David drove the entire way as Paul would be tasked with the return drive.
They arrived at David's apartment and were able to find a convenient parking space on the street nearby. Rather than transporting a mattress and box-spring as Kurt had done, David had opted to have them delivered; and they were waiting for him, boxed and in the hallway, when they arrived.
Like Kurt's apartment, David's was part of an old, converted house. The structure wasn't quite as quaint-looking as Kurt's, but it was very clean and the layout of David's apartment was much the same as Kurt's, excepting that David's refrigerator was a small dorm-style model. Paul and Lorraine had bought David a small microwave oven, toaster, and coffee maker. Paul and David had just finished setting up the bed when Paul decided to remove the small appliances from their boxes as David busied himself unpacking other items.
"Kinda hilly around here," Paul observed.
"Yeah, there are a lot more hills around here than there are anywhere in Ohio," David answered with a smirk. "What did Mom pack for lunch?"
"I don't know, probably some sandwiches or something," Paul offered. "I'm hungry, though. I could eat right now."
David approached the cooler which they had placed onto the dining table and opened it while Paul observed from a short distance away in the kitchen area. David nearly began to laugh at what the contents revealed. "Cold pizza! She packed us the leftover cold pizza from last night!"
Paul smirked cynically as he approached. "She's onto us."
David unwrapped two large, foil-wrapped packages, handing one to Paul. "You need a plate?" David offered. "Might take me a few to track down the paper plates I brought."
Paul grinned and shook his head. "This is fine. We've got foil. What do we need a plate for?"
David snickered agreement as he wrestled a slice free and bit into it.
As the two finished eating, David noted, "It's almost three o'clock."
"Hmm?" Paul hummed.
"You should probably be getting back on the road soon," David opined. "Don't want to be making a long drive after dark. I don't want you nodding off behind the wheel or something."
"I'll be okay," Paul spoke softly. "I'll stop and get coffee if I have to. I can stay a while and help you unpack."
David smiled at the offer. "Dad, I have days to do that. You're probably going to be tired when you get back on the road after helping me move all this stuff; plus driving can be tiring unto itself."
Paul nodded, his expression betraying melancholy.
"What's wrong, Dad?"
Paul shook his head. "Nothing."
"Dad?" David pressed.
"David, I'm sad. I'm going to miss you. We used to be so close. You were my little buddy, and then that teenage-rebellion thing happened and we grew apart, but now we're close again. Your mother and I are going to miss having you around."
David slid his chair closer to Paul and sat beside him, resting his arm on Paul's back. "Dad, you're not losing me. You're always going to have me. So, I'm going to school, and we're living five hours apart. You're still the most incredible person I've ever had in my life."
Paul smiled for a moment. "Thank you. And I know that this is necessary. It doesn't mean I can't miss you, David."
"Dad, you made a promise to me when I was in the hospital back in February. You promised that I wouldn't lose you. You kept good on that, and I'm telling you now that you're not going to lose me."
"I know all that, David." Paul's words were shaky, marked with a quiet rasp.
David reached around his father's shoulders and drew him close. "Dad, if you start crying, I'm gonna lose it too."
The two held each other in silence for a time, no words, barely audible breathing, an occasional moist-sounding breath. David could feel the chill of Paul's tears on his shoulder, seeping through his T-shirt. Paul finally composed himself and pulled away from David who reached to his eyes to wipe away tears of his own.
Paul's gaze was cast downward as David spoke, looking at him. Paul's eyes rose to meet David's.
"Dad, I'm going to have a big favor to ask of you sometime in the future. It's years away, and it might not even happen for that matter, but remember this: if I should ask you for a big favor sometime some years from now, I'm going to remind you of this moment. I can't tell you more than that until then; but it's gonna be... hugely important to me."
Paul nodded at David with watery eyes and a hinted smile. "Okay," Paul spoke quietly, scratchy, "I'll remember."
"You can stay for a while, but I think you should get back on the road soon," David remarked.
"I think you're probably right," Paul said as he stood from his seat; David followed, standing as well.
"Take it easy. Stop at rest stops if you need to. Stop for coffee often, Call me if you need to. Call me if you want to." David paused for a moment. "I love you, Dad."
Paul smiled and slowly pulled David toward him into an embrace. "I love you too. And your mom love you."
"Send Mom my love as well, Dad."
Wednesday, September 5
Voicemail message from David, Wednesday September 5, 11:13 AM
Hey, Kurt. Sorry to bother you so early in the day. I'm all outta sorts today. Call me back when you can. I just want to hear your voice. Call me when you can. Please.
Voicemail message from Kurt, Wednesday September 5, 1:10 PM
Hello, David. It's me, Kurt. It sounds like you're really down; and I hope it's not anything really bad, but you have me worried. You called while I was in class, and I'm guessing that you're in class now. I'll call back tonight when I normally do unless you get back to me first or I get back to you first. I do have kind-of a great story to tell you about some people I met today, but I'll save that for later. For now, bye, and I miss you.
David was back in his apartment by seven-thirty, still waiting to hear from Kurt. He was at his desk, working through a Physics assignment when his phone sounded an incoming call.
"Hello, Kurt," David voiced, low-pitched but trying to sound more upbeat than he felt.
"Hi, David," Kurt answered. "Are you okay? Your message had me concerned."
"Oh, I dunno," David muttered.
"What's wrong?"
"I feel like a mess," David answered bluntly. "I feel so alone. I don't know anybody. I don't feel like I have a connection to the people around me. I miss my parents and my friends something terrible." David paused for a moment before adding, "And I miss you, Kurt, it's like I have a hole in me or something."
Kurt remained silent, not knowing how to react.
David continued. "I know that's how it is right now, and I know I gotta deal with it. That doesn't make it any better."
"David," Kurt finally spoke, "I miss you too, and I wish we weren't so far apart; but, like you said, we just have to deal with it for now." Kurt exhaled audibly. "It's not like it's going to be like this forever."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," David answered. "I don't know why I feel like this today. I mean, you and I talked last night, and everything felt alright. I just woke up today, though, feeling like everything just terrible, like this is my life right now."
"David, have you tried making friends with people in your classes or something?"
"Like I said, I don't feel like I have any connection to them. I mean, I'm as smart as they are and I'm keeping up with the work, but they all seem, like, so different than me. They're all these really intense sciencey-kinda people. I don't know what I'd even strike up a conversation about."
"Have you tried, maybe," Kurt hesitated for a moment, "is there, like, an athletic club or something?"
"Yeah," David began again. "Yeah, I've been using the weight room and running and stuff, but I don't really talk to anyone beyond, like, 'hello'. The thing is that I'm still afraid. I'm afraid of what people might feel about me if they really knew me."
"David, you're not giving yourself enough credit; and you're maybe not giving other people enough credit either. Remember how you made friends with unlikely people at Thurston? And remember how accepting they were of you? Maybe you could look outside the people in that immediate circle. Maybe there's something you could become involved with outside the school. I mean, you've only been there a few weeks. Have you even tried to do anything like that?"
"No," David answered, somewhat quiet. "There is a really great library connected with the school, so I've been reading a lot. They've got a really nice art museum and natural history museum, but there's only so many times I can do that."
"Is the workload getting you down?" Kurt asked.
"No, actually, that's been the best thing for me," David answered, sounding slightly more positive. "When I get down, I just bury myself in my work. I'm actually ahead in several of my classes."
"Have you tried calling your dad or some of your other friends?" Kurt asked.
"No," David responded, sounding almost guilty. "When I get like this, the only person I want to talk to is you, it's like I don't want them to see that part of me."
Silence hung on the phone for a time until David said, "In that message you left before, you said that there was something you wanted to tell me?" He sounded almost hesitant, as if the story, whatever it was, might cause him additional anxiety.
Kurt cleared his throat, sounding somewhat enthusiastic suddenly. "Well, remember the shirt you gave me? The one from the PFLAG meeting? The one that says 'CHOKE ON IT, HATERS'?"
David chuckled. "Yeah, of course."
"Well, I was wearing it today, and two guys in my interpretive dance class asked me where I got it. I told them that I got it at a PFLAG meeting in Lima, and that I am originally from Lima. They got all excited and said, 'Oh my god, have you met Dave Karofsky?' They started going on about that commencement video and how they wanted to go to that meeting in Lima; and I said, 'David Karofsky is my boyfriend.' Then I pulled out my phone and showed them pictures of us."
David smiled, eventually succumbing to a laugh. "Wow. Just... wow."
"I told them a little more about how you are going to school in Pittsburgh, and they went on about how they were familiar with your history project. They also said, after seeing you picture on my phone, that you're really cute. They couldn't see much in that commencement video."
David chuckled again in response.
"They said we look great together."
"We do," David replied quietly but with certainty.
The two hung in silence on the phone for a while, a changed silence, a silence marked this time with a warmth rather than an unease.
"Sing to me?" David asked, quietly, politely.
"What do you want me to sing?" Kurt asked, sounding as if caught off-guard.
'I don't care," David replied through a crooked smile. "Sing anything you want to."
Kurt was silent for a moment until he began, quietly but in strong, audible voice.
There were bells on a hill
But I never heard them ringing
No, I never heard them at all
Till there was you
There were birds in the sky
But I never saw them winging
No, I never saw them at all
Till there was you
Then there was music and wonderful roses
They tell me in sweet fragrant meadows
Of dawn and dew
There was love all around
But I never heard it singing
No, I never heard it at all
Till there was you
"Thanks," David spoke so quietly as to almost be imperceptible. "Beatles."
"Actually," Kurt began, "It's from The Music Man."
"Mmm?" David muttered.
Kurt explained. "Yes, the Beatles recorded a hit version, but it's from the musical, The Music Man. It was written by Meredith Wilson."
David grinned, shaking his head. "Here all along I assumed it was a Lennon-McCartney song."
"Learn something new every day," Kurt said through an audible smile. "Are you going to sing something for me now?"
"Uhhhh," David muttered. "I don't sing."
"You can make an exception for me, though, can't you?"
"Uhhmmm..."
"Come on," Kurt sounded pleading but good-natured. "Please?"
"Okay, but if this isn't good, don't laugh at me or something," David added, conditionally.
"David I would never do that."
"I know, I... just... don't sing, but I'm going to right now," David conceded. "Feel privileged, maybe."
David drew a long breath and began. His voice wasn't trained, at least not like Kurt's, but he carried the simple melody at a low conversational volume.
How can I go forward when I don't know which way I'm facing?
How can I go forward when I don't know which way to turn?
How can I go forward into something I'm not sure of?
Oh no
How can I have feeling if I don't know if it's a feeling?
How can I have feel something if I just don't know how to feel?
How can I have feelings when my feelings have always been denied?
Oh no
You know life can be long
And you've got to be so strong
And the world is so tough
Sometimes I feel I've had enough
How can I give love when I don't know what it is I'm giving?
How can I give love when I just don't know how to give?
How can I give love when love is something I ain't never had?
Oh no
Neither spoke until Kurt, in a small, almost trembling voice said, "That was beautiful, David."
David smiled. "Cool. Gretchen turned me onto John Lennon, sorta. I used to think about that song a lot. Like last fall and winter."
David could hear Kurt sniff from the other end before Kurt said, "I can see that, I can see how that song would have meant something to you at that time."
"Well, yeah, the lyrics really hit me at the time," David said. "They're really direct. Maybe it doesn't apply to me any longer, but I still think it's a great song."
"Thank you, David." Kurt's voice was small and trembling; David puzzled at the possibility that Kurt was possibly crying. "You made my day. I love you."
"I love you too, Kurt," David replied, "And you made my day also."
"I should probably get going, but don't hesitate to call me for any reason," Kurt offered.
"Well, hopefully, days like today won't be too common," David offered, "and we talk every night anyway."
"And I look forward to hearing your voice every night," Kurt expanded. "Goodnight, David."
"Goodbye, Kurt. Goodnight."
Referenced songs:
"Till There Was You" from The Music Man written by Meredith Wilson and famously recorded by the Beatles, among others
"How" by John Lennon