TSUKI
So now I knew why there was that strangeness between us. I loved him. I wanted him. But the question was – did he want me too?
Some things I was better off not knowing. Perhaps I could just pretend that yes, we were lovers, while in actuality we were just friends. As long as I had no answer, I could hope. I could believe. But once the answer was there, there were no two ways about it. It was either a yes or a no, no middle ground, no sitting on the fence. And if the answer were negative, I would be dealt another excruciating blow from the cruel hands of fate.
Should I tell him? But how? A direct confession seemed too demeaning, too desperate, too much like begging. And I would never beg, not even from him. I still had my pride. An indirect, roundabout way was more my style, how does one confess in an indirect manner? All in all, telling him would be difficult.
But if I didn't tell him, I had a strong feeling that he wouldn't tell me either. He had his pride, too. Sometimes similarities were not good. If either of us had the humility to toughen our skin and submit ourselves to the mercy of the other, this would not be happening. Yet, somehow, this made it all the more interesting.
FUJI
I smiled at Eiji. "You two are just too good."
"Hoi hoi, of course! We are Seigaku's Golden Pair, after all!" Eiji bounced towards the net, dragging Oishi along. "Nya, who do you want to play next, Oishi?"
"Eiji, don't you think we ought to rest first? You especially!" worried Oishi, motherly as always.
"Mou, but I want to –" protested Eiji.
Leaving the pair of them to argue, I looked at Tsuki-chan. "Tsuki-chan, you seem preoccupied."
"Hm?" She looked slightly confused, then her poker face slid back into place. "Well, we just lost, didn't we? It's normal to be a bit out of it after losing. I'm thirsty; let me go get some water."
As she walked towards the bench where our things were, I frowned slightly after her. She'd been out of it for the whole match, not just after we lost. Oddly, during this match, we weren't as synced as we had been before, when we'd played against Hyotei. It was the reason we'd lost in the first place – we'd lost to the Golden Pair four games to six.
Not to mention the fact that she seemed to be trying to avoid me… but why would she? I hadn't said a word at all. Unless she suspected, there shouldn't be any reason to do that.
A very impractically dressed girl, who I had noticed earlier flirting for all she was worth with Oshitari, made her way over to Tsuki-chan, clinging to Oshitari's arm and effectively dragging him along. "Tsuuukiiiiiiiiiii-chaaan!! Why didn't you come and say hi to your dear beloved cousin?!" she sang.
Now that, I thought, amused, was someone I'd never imagine would be related to Tsuki-chan. A more perfect model of a bimbo I had never seen.
Tsuki-chan glared at the girl. "I am not related to you. Get that into your head."
"Mou, Tsuki-chan, how can you have forgotten your favorite cousin Miri?" pouted the girl.
"Favorite cousin, my eye," retorted Tsuki-chan. Standing up, she strode over to me. "Come on, Fuji. We're leaving."
"Maa, Tsuki-chan, you didn't even introduce me to your cousin and now you want to leave? Shame on you!" I teased her. "Maybe you're jealous…"
She glared at me. "Why in the name of Kami-sama would I be jealous of the new girlfriend of one of my castoffs?"
Her cousin, Miri-chan I had guessed, turned to me and gave me a once-over. Then she fluttered her eyelashes, leaning over towards Tsuki-chan. "Ne ne, Tsuki-chan, who's he? Ohmigawd he's so kawaiiiiii!!" she said in a stage whisper that all of us heard.
Elbowing her cousin hard, Tsuki-chan grabbed my arm. "We're leaving. Now." With that, she just about yanked me out of the courts.
MIRI
"Mou, Yuushi-kun, who was that?" I pouted. Tsuki-chan was, like, so mean for just brushing me off like that! But that boy was totally cute. Not hot like Yuushi-kun, but definitely cute.
"Fuji Syuusuke," he replied. "Tennis tensai of Seigaku – the male one, anyway. Tsuki-chan dumped me for him."
I stared at him in surprise. "You don't seem to mind!"
"I don't; I knew it was coming anyway," he said, shrugging. "And plus, I much prefer what I have now."
Coyly, I looked away. "You're too nice, Yuushi-kun…"
I felt a hand slip beneath my blouse, and saw him smirk. "Of course. Don't you like it when I'm nice?"
FUJI
"Why were you in such a rush to get out of there?" I inquired.
"Good Kami-sama, to be recognized as her cousin is bad enough, don't you think?" she demanded.
I had to agree. "I'd never have thought she was related to you."
She nodded vigorously. "My point exactly. Ne, Fuji…"
I cocked my head on one side. "Yes?"
"… where are we?" Looking around, she frowned in confusion.
"Saa… I wish I knew, too…" I said on purpose, just to tease her, scanning the area. "You got us lost again, didn't you?"
"Shut it. You know very well that I have no head for directions and yet you choose to follow me," she retorted.
"Maa, I didn't get to choose. You dragged me," I pointed out.
"You could have resisted!" she defended herself.
I grinned. "I wanted to see how lost you could get this time."
Scowling, she reached over poked me, hard. "Baka. You already know how directionally challenged I am."
"Let's go back," I suggested, smiling.
A short while later, we were on the road outside her house. Although I had pretended to be lost, I had known the way back and had simply wanted to pull her leg.
"Today was fun, ne?" I commented.
"No, it most certainly was not. I broke up with Yuushi; my bimbotic cousin came over; you discovered that I have no head for directions. In what way is any of that fun?" she complained.
"It was fun because it was you who went through all that while I observed," I replied, ducking the punch she swung at me.
"Stop teasing, or I shall avoid you for the rest of my life," Tsuki-chan threateningly poked me in the chest, leaning in to make her point; her face inches away from my own.
Sudden adrenaline flooded my veins; thoughts raced through my mind. She'd broken up with Oshitari. I could perhaps pass this off as an accident, and I definitely couldn't pass up this opportunity to find out, once and for all, whether she could return my feelings.
"Tsuki-chan…"
YUKI
"Koori-sama, by the rites of propriety, the funeral for your esteemed parents should be held within the week," the master of protocol informed me. "I would strongly advise you to begin sending out invitations to their important business partners, colleagues and acquaintances, not forgetting your own family members."
I groaned inwardly. Why did everything have to be so rushed? Outwardly though, I held my head high as I replied, "I shall proceed to do so immediately when I receive the appropriate lists of required guests from you. Please cause them to be brought to me before the end of the day."
He bowed. "It shall be done as you say, Koori-sama. With your leave, I shall hereby remove myself to carry out your orders."
"You may take your leave," I said imperiously. "I shall now retire to my rooms. Nobody is to disturb me there unless the matter is of exceeding importance."
Bowing again, he left. I walked through one of the side doors of the receiving room – obviously, it was the room where I received people – and locked it behind me, collapsing onto the sofa of my new room, which had been my parents' private suite.
The master of protocol had insisted that the master, or in my case mistress, of the house stay in the master suite – to quote him, "This is what is required of your status, Koori-sama, and it is much more befitting. The mistress of the house should not sleep in the room of a child." I'd wanted to tell him that I was still a child and had every right to sleep in my own room, but when the head butler and matron-in-chief (the man who takes care of all the male servants and the lady who takes care of all the female servants in my household respectively) had both agreed that I should stay in the master suite, I had given in.
Truly, the master of protocol wielded more power in my house than I did. He dictated where each servant stood, sat, and slept according to their ranks; he practically told me what to do, all in the name of etiquette and manners. A more finicky, meticulous person I have never met, yet at the same time I admit that it is due to him that no member of my family has ever been able to be criticized on protocol in public.
It was hard, being the young mistress of a household. I had to keep up the façade of cool professionalism, as if I knew exactly what was going on, even when my master of protocol was giving whispered instructions just behind me to do this, do that, not do this, not do that. Everything had to look polished and practiced, including talking to my parents' business associates who had come to offer their condolences and to give the new mistress of the Koori businesses a sizing up.
If only I had some people at the funeral with whom I could be me – just Yuki-chan, not Koori-sama.
TSUKI
Staring at the ceiling, I beat myself over the head for the nth time. Why hadn't I responded?
(Flashback)
"Tsuki-chan…"
I watched, half afraid, half hypnotized, as his eyes flickered open. Surely I hadn't originally drawn in so close. Whether I had or not, though, the thought vanished along with all others as I drowned in the brilliant cerulean blue of his eyes.
There was a warm pressure as his lips brushed against mine. Just lips on lips, nothing more, yet at the same time, so much… I smelled the faintly remembered scent of vanilla – where did that memory come from? – along with the reassuringly human hints of sweat from the earlier tennis. A hand slid around my waist; another, up to my head, burying itself in my hair, holding us both absolutely still, as if this connection was the only thing that existed in the universe…
If I hadn't known before, I knew now. I never wanted him to let go. I melted against him, feeling the warmth against my whole body, sharply contrasting with the cold around us. Every part that touched him directly burned.
It was broken all too soon. Pulling away, he stared at me, his eyes searching for answers. All I could do was stare back, my mind drawing a blank. Unfortunately, he took my silence and shock as a refusal.
"I'm sorry, Tsuki-chan. Forget that this ever happened."
(End Flashback)
I couldn't even blame Kami-sama. It was my fault, and my fault entirely. I knew it, even though I hated it.
He'd walked away. Walked away. And he hadn't even looked back, not once. All I'd needed to do was to catch him before he was gone, to call his name – but no, I'd been too astounded, too shocked, too… scared?
Scared of what? Scared of the way these powerful feelings had blown our friendship away? Scared of how he might change towards me? I didn't know.
Turning over on the bed, I touched a hand to my lips. I had never imagined that another's could feel so soft; he had been so gentle. Others who had tried had always been rushing, rough – this feeling that I was something precious was a welcome change.
He'd said to forget it, but that was one thing I could never do. I wondered at the slow drops that fell from my eyes.
FUJI
I shouldn't have done that, I thought for the millionth time. The friendship that we'd both treasured was torn asunder by that reckless action on my part. It was completely my fault, and I couldn't even blame Kami-sama or any other deity.
She'd most likely start avoiding me. I couldn't blame her… but the shock I had seen in her soft grey eyes had truly cut me to the quick.
So, in the end, she didn't feel that way. I had forced her into that kiss… I stared at the ceiling, dry-eyed – tears were too superficial to express this terrible feeling of rejection.
A/N: I just died after reading this chapter… Review anyway please…