A/N: Feel free to review, my muffins. It's a little choppy and I couldn't resolve it in three parts like I wanted too. (Angry face.)

Brawl

Alec and Magnus shuffled into Dr. P's office two days later. Magnus was wearing a sparkling neon veil over his left eye, which had a brutal bruise surrounding it. Alec was limping. The Doctor put his hand over his mouth as they sat down, both obviously ignoring each other. Alec raised his chin, showing off a perfectly round abrasion, deep purple in colour.

The Doctor took a moment to compose himself, trying not to look completely disturbed. "Uh..." he mumbled. "So, how did... How did the paintballing work out?"

Alec cleared his throat and Magnus sighed heavily. "It started out fine," he said through clenched teeth.

"What... uh, what went wrong?"

Both men turned to glare at each other. Alec made a noise with his teeth and then began, "Some kid got paint in his eye and we were put on the same team. It was all downhill from there..."

Magnus and Alec were hiding behind boxes with their guns pointed at the ground, talking strategy.

"You take the little kids, and I'll get the teenagers," Alec instructed.

Magnus, who had been picking at the corners of his clear coated nails, abruptly looked up. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, didn't you?" he asked, seriously.

He crossed his arms and jutted out his chin dramatically. "I don't know, did I hear you tell me to handle the children? I didn't know you could tell jokes."

Not wanting to fight, Alec shook it off. Shadowhunters didn't fight with each other when they were working. "Okay, fine. You take the teenagers and I'll - " And then it dawned on him. "Wait, did you just say I'm not funny?"

A slow grin twitched his lips up. "Darling, you have a lot of talents - humour isn't one of them."

Two paintball's hurtled towards them and they both stepped out of the way easily, letting them splatter against one of their team mates. "People say I'm funny all the time!"

"Who? Your mommy?"

Crap, Alec thought. His defense was gone."Jace thinks I'm funny."

"Jace thinks a lot of stupid things are funny - like videos of cats falling off of furniture."

Alec hissed in a breath, like he'd been slapped. "Oh, so now I'm a stupid cat that falls off of things! Nice to know you think so highly of me, Magnus. Really."

Before Magnus could say more, he stormed off and fell back into the shadows.

"So you bickered? How did that lead to this? And what's a Sha-" The Doctor's expression turned vague and then he blinked it away. "Huh. Where were we?"

Magnus shook his blindingly sparkly hair. "One, he's not telling it right. Two, he's not done. And three, who tells a story in the third person?"

"It's called being unbiased, Magnus. You should try it some time. And how am I not telling it right?" Alec scoffed. "That's what happened!"

Rolling his eyes, Magnus leaned in. "Ignore him, honey. Let me tell you how it happened."

So Alec and I were discussing how to haul ass when he started in with his usual, "Meep meep meep meep Shadowhunter meep meep meep meep magic meep meep meep meep bad," spiel. He said, "Magnus, you can't use magic or it won't be fair!" ("My voice isn't that nasally!")

And because I'm ever so kind, I agreed. "Sure, Alec my love. I won't use my natural advantage over the opponents!" is word for word what I said. But because Alec is such an Alec, he started in with his "Blah blah blah I'll take the hard targets blah blah blah you fight the little kids blah."

All I said was, "Alec, that isn't very fair. They're just little children, for godsake! I'm way older than them." And I repeated, "That's not fair."

And he said, "Well, without your magic you'll be about even."

So I said, "Without your Shadowhunter gear, you'd be an even match, too."

I don't remember exactly how it happened, but he tricked me into insulting him - most likely because he's secretly the DEVIL and he eats food off the floor!

"Okay, not only is he getting things mixed up, he's just downright insulting me," Alec accused. "And if anyone's the devil, it's you! At least I needed an umbilical cord."

Magnus gasped and scowled. "Well, I never! You said you'd never bring that up, Alexander Lightwood!"

Alec stood up and lifted his shirt. "LOOK, MAGNUS! LOOK AT MY BELLY BUTTON!" His shout carried out into the waiting room, where several very confused people glanced at each other.

Magnus covered his eyes and made loud, "LA LA LA LA!" noises while the Doctor stared on in horror. They were clinically insane, he decided moments before Magnus wiped his mind again and forced Alec to sit down.

Alec cleared his throat and took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Magnus," he mumbled.

"It's okay, babe. I'm over it." He didn't sound completely over it. "Okay, Alec tells it better. I think he should finish."

Alec smiled icily. "Thank you. So I left and dispatched several opposing teammates, and then soon enough we were the only two left on our team..."

"Use first person."

Alec lifted his eyebrows. "Why? Why is that important?"

Magnus bobbed his head as if it was obvious. "Uh, third person is creepy?"

Stalemated, Alec continued with his story.

We argued about using our... age advantage on the last remaining member of the other team. He was only ten and he looked like he was afraid, so we came to an agreement that we would go easy on him and try not to freak him out.

I had him in the bag. All I had to do was shoot. And then Magnus came running out, screaming like a lunatic, shouting, "Say hello to my little friend!"

He hit the kid twice and then ran out of paintballs, so I ran over to help... which was when Magnus took my gun out of my hands and fired off all of my ammo. The kid shot me three times, then hit Magnus three times, and the game was over. It was all his fault. No debate.

But I didn't really care because it was just a stupid game. I lose stupid games to my brother all the time, so it was no big deal. We went out to the rental counter to give back our gear. The kid behind the counter was taking forever because he was loading several guns for a party or something.

Then Magnus said, "I had it handled, Alec."

And I said, "Oh did you? Because it looked like you were out of balls and standing out in the open."

Which was when he picked up the fully loaded paintball gun and shot me in the... uh... Yeah. Hence the limp. I suppose he didn't know it was loaded, but that didn't take away from the fact that he destroyed my chances of ever having children with a paintball gun.

So I grabbed another gun and aimed for his shoulder, but he tried to push the gun out of the way and it hit him in the eye. The guy tried to take back the weapons, but we ended up using them like fencing swords and insulting each other. They had a security guard drag us out, and we were banned from ever going back.

Then we fought on the train, in the subway, on the street, inside a deli, outside a deli, in his apartment, and on the phone while I walked home. Alone. In the dark. At midnight.

"Wow, way to make me sound like the worst person ever."

Alec sneered. "You are the worst person. Ever."

Magnus huffed. "Oh, so you're telling me you're afraid of the city at night. Somehow I don't buy it."

"It's not the fact that I was alone - it's the fact that you didn't want to even walk me to the front door of your flat!" stated Alec. He looked back to the Doctor for help. "All we do is fight. You said we don't need to take a break. What's your reasoning?"

The Doctor held up a hand and then put his pointer finger on his lips. Alec and Magnus both hushed up, avoiding seeing each other in even their peripheral vision. Finally, he said, "One week. I want you two to isolate each other for one week. No instant messaging, no texting, no letters sent by carrier pigeon, no phoning. Complete silence. And then I want you to go on a nice date. A restaurant or something. Somewhere where you have to talk. Then we'll schedule another appointment.

To Be Continued...