Chapter 38 – Before & After the Trial

Hey guys! The finale was great, I don't even know where to start.

Alex looked like he finally admitted his love for Norma. Dylan and Emma kissing jesus FINALLY. Oh and Norman as Norma killing Bradley. That was just amazing - the way it was filmed and the acting. I really enjoyed the finale. Especially the way it tied in with the film Psycho. Did you guys like it or were you disappointed?

Anyway this is the last chapter of season 3, so without further ado ~

The light coming through the window was bright, producing vibrant images on the walls. Alexa looked at the walls with a detached expression. She was very much aware of what happened last night, coming home and going straight to bed out of pure exhaustion.

Yes, she was quite aware of everything.

A knock on the door sounded, and Alexa barely lifted her eyes towards it. Alex came in and smiled.

"Hey. What happened last night?"

"What do you mean?"

Alex shut the door. "You told Valerie to walk home alone because you had to do something. Did Norman need you?"

"Something like that. Is she mad?"

"No. Are you okay?" Alex sat on her bed. "You look really tired."

Alexa shrugged. "I just woke up."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "It's 11:30 AM." But when Alexa's face didn't budge from its lack of emotion, his smile fell and he grabbed her leg, rubbing it. "Did something happen between you two?"

"I stopped by Bob's house."

Alex stopped rubbing her leg. "Why?"

"I'm going to be 18 tomorrow. I wanted to give him Donald's money."

"W-what why?!"

Alexa looked almost confused. "You're not the only one who's tired. I've had to deal with so many assholes just because of what he gave me. I'm done, dad. I don't want to be in charge. May as well give a criminal criminal money, right?"

"No. That's a lot of money. You could use it! You could use it to your benefit!"

"I don't want it."

Alex stood up, covering his face with his hands. "No … it isn't safe in his hands. It's not, not right!"

"It's mine, so I think I can determine where it should rightfully be."

He glared at her. "Could you sleep on this? At least just rethink it?"

"Why? Because you're planning on killing him?"

Alex stared at her. The silence dragged on for what felt like minutes, until he finally exhaled. "Please Alexa?"

"Are you going to kill him?"

"In all honesty?" Alexa nodded. "Probably."

She looked out the window. "Oh."

"So you'll have to rethink doing something so crazy."

"Oh right, so I don't have to worry about someone trying to kill me. I'm so safe with all this dirty money in my pocket. But you decide to hand in a USB that ruins someone's life and it's okay because you're enlightened."

Alex sneered. "You're acting like – you're just being rude."

"I'm acting like my mother. Elizabeth. Do you remember her?" Alexa stared at him. "Or is all your love for her gone now that you have Norma? Well, she's alive, and she's just like mom, so if the fucking shoe fits."

"What is this all about?" Alex shouted. "Randomly bringing her up – why are you doing that?"

Alexa shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"Yeah it does!"

"Forget it. Just go away. I'm really tired; I have a headache."

Alex's gaze lingered until he turned around, walking down the stairs.

But he should've stayed with her. He should've talked it out. All he did was give her time to think more on a particular idea. Alexa didn't need a secondary voice to know to do certain things. She didn't need a 'crazy' side anymore.

It was altogether by this point.

Around 1 PM, Alexa got a phone call. She was still in bed at this time, staring at the ceiling and mindlessly thinking about nothing. She was supposed to be in school, and since Valerie had woken up late, she didn't know that Alexa had never left.

It was better that way.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's Emma, are you busy?"

"No."

Emma coughed. "I uh, they found lungs for me."

"That's good," Alexa genuinely replied, though her voice was hoarse – like she had been screaming or puking.

"I'm scared."

Alexa bit her nail. "Who wouldn't be?"

"I don't want to die in that procedure. I don't want to spend my last moments in a hospital, on a bed, wide open!"

"Who would?"

Emma's voice quivered. "I'm just so scared that I'm going to go and go under and never come back up. If I don't do it, I have a few years guaranteed. This procedure, it might not even work. You know the chances! It's risky! And I'm scared, I'm so goddamn scared, Alexa!"

"Who wouldn't be?"

Emma hiccupped. "Are you okay? You seem off."

Of course now would've been a good time to mention it, but Alexa didn't want to. Actually, it wasn't that she didn't want to, but more that she felt she couldn't. She couldn't muster up enough selfishness to turn the tables on her. Emma had been thinking about this for the majority of her life. It was a scary obstacle for her, and it was coming up right at the moment, out of the blue.

To tell her that she had remembered, to go into her feelings right now – it was inhumane. It wasn't right. She couldn't burden her with it.

"I'm just really tired. Bad night. And I don't know what to say, because I understand how you feel. But you can't let it take control. If you stay afraid, you'll never get anything done."

Emma sniffed. "I know, I know, god, I know! But still I remain so … battered, honestly, with insecurities."

Emma really had a nice way of putting things.

"Sometimes you have to do and see things that scare you, because it's the only way to get things right. Sometimes you've got to fall into the abyss to get the – the right answer."

"Are you crying?"

Alexa chuckled. "No, I'm not," she lied. "Anyway, you've gotta go and get that procedure done. No ifs ands or buts."

"I know …"

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No. I mean, well yeah I'd like to see you, but there's this place I want to try sneaking off to first …"

And here they were, standing on the reserve where Dylan did his work. It really was a beautiful piece of land, and Alexa found herself finally seeing its beauty. Or maybe it was because Emma was standing right beside her. Either way, Alexa got it – she could see why Emma loved it here.

"This is where he does all his work?"

"Yeah."

"It's nice."

Emma nodded. She turned her head. "Are you mad at me?"

Alexa tugged at her green jumper. "About what?"

"Dylan."

"No. I was surprised, but I'm not mad."

Emma nodded. "Good. I'm glad." She smiled until she noticed Alexa's glossy eyes. "Have you been crying?"

"Off and on."

"Why?"

Alexa shrugged. She looked over her shoulder to see Dylan pull up and grinned. "I think you have a ride back."

"But wait, about you –"

Alexa grabbed her tightly and the two hugged. "Good luck. Please do it. I'll see you later, okay?"

"O-okay." Emma let go of the hug. "You'll tell me later?"

"Sure." Alexa walked past Dylan and gave a wink, before reaching her car and driving away.

She honestly was happy about the two.

Norma had called Alexa earlier that day, but Alexa really wasn't in the mood to hear about whatever drama she had brought up. She decided to just stay away from answering the phone, and waited a few hours later to check her voicemail.

"Hey honey, I uh, I wanted to check out some place with you. I'll tell you more about it in person – I don't want to leave it on your voice box. Mail box? Voice mail? Ugh, anyway, get back to me when you're available. Jeez, you're in school, I totally forgot. I'm such a dunce! Hahah! Anyway, call me when you get this, have lots to say, love you, bye!"

Alexa put the phone back into her pocket. Love … you? Really? It surprised her that their relationship had gone that far. Norma cared about Alexa intently – all the signs had been there, she just never thought about it.

But there it was – love. Norma had begun to see her as a daughter. The closeness with Norman probably added to it as well.

She had people who loved her.

Norma didn't know though. Norma didn't know she murdered Cheryl. Dylan didn't know she murdered Cheryl. Emma didn't know she murdered Cheryl.

But Norman and Alex did … and they loved her …

Yeah, but that didn't mean anything. Alexa was an extension of Norman; of course he'd love her. And Alex was her father, no shocker there.

Alexa biked to the Bates house, a thousand things running through her mind as per usual.

So what is the test? What is the way to know if I deserve to live? How do I discover if it's worth it or not?

How do I know anything? I guess it's by how I feel, since no one knows.

And I don't feel so good about myself.

When Alexa reached the Bates', Norma's car wasn't there. She walked up to the house and knocked. Norman answered the door, and the two glanced at each other awkwardly.

"Why are you holding a plate of food?" Alexa pointed to it. He smiled.

"I was hungry."

Alexa nodded. "Okay. Where's Norma?"

"Not home yet. Wanna wait inside?"

She shrugged. "So how's it been?"

Norman put the plate of food down on the coffee table. "It's been okay. I guess. How are you?"

"Good. I guess."

He sat across from her, staring at her. Alexa stared back.

"You're sad," he remarked.

Alexa cocked her head. "What?"

"You look really worn. What's going on?"

She shook her head. "What's going on with you?"

"I asked first."

Alexa rolled her eyes. "Are we playing that game? What, are we in the third grade again? May as well make a lot of things that have happened void. Or just really messed up in the context since we're uh, in third grade."

Norman raised his palms. "I've been seeing someone privately. I've been helping them."

"Cool, who?"

"It's uh, Bradley."

Alexa cocked her head. "What?"

"She's here. The suicide was a farce, she's come back because she needs help and she wants me to run away with her."

"Okay … so many reasons this is a bad idea."

Norman shook his head. "She's pretty messed up. I don't know what she's seen while she's was out there by herself, but she is not the same."

"Asking you to run away with her seems like she's the same."

Norman frowned. "What do you mean?"

"She's using you. Has she asked you for any other big favors despite breaking your heart and using your kindness?"

"Alexa …"

"Did she try and sleep with you?"

Norman didn't respond.

"Wow."

He leaned back. "Stop it, Alexa. If you'd see her and talk to her –"

"But it's true. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. You might not see it, but does she really think she'd be able to lure you away from your family and friends? From me, with a hot little sex kitten routine? She can't try and play me for a fool. I practically invented that routine. And your own mother, god, will she see right through it!" Alexa looked around the living room with irritation. "What a dumb bitch."

Norman eyed her carefully. "Alexa …"

"You were so adamant on us being together," Alexa bitterly replied. "I know what you meant by that now."

"Alexa!"

She glared at him. "You want me when you feel like it. But when I want us to stay together, you back away. I'm not even surprised."

Norman got up and sat beside her. "That's not true! I'm just getting so overwhelmed by mother as of late. I just feel like the only thing I can do is run away. Or that it's … the best option? I don't know!"

"You nearly killed me because I tried to see my sick father. It isn't fair. Do you understand me?" Alexa burned her wrath into his eyes. "It goes both ways. And even if you get in that car with her, you better not forget my words."

Norman flinched, as if she hit him. Their hands were tangled together tightly and their faces were far too close to one another. Alexa looked down.

"Women are so hard to be around. And you're such a nice boy – you have a good heart." She wasn't even sure where the words were coming from.

Maybe it was because he was the only one who loved her despite knowing all of her?

Like the trial had been going on all this time in her mind, but it had been over a long time ago for Norman.

And Norman was okay with it. He was okay with all her truths, blurred or not.

"I …" Norman put his hands on her face and stared at her, before kissing her cheek. "Thank you."

"Yeah," Alexa ran her fingers through his hair. "I gotta go. Don't go away."

Norman nodded.

Alexa made her way out of the house, on her way for a nice long walk to help clear her mind about all the things she had seen and committed.

Alex had stopped by the Bates house in the evening. Alexa had been there earlier to try and find him – there was something important she needed to say. But she missed him and left right before he came.

He needed to speak to Norma, and the moment he pulled into the motel's parking lot, she was standing there. It was like she was waiting for him.

Alex got out of his car and stared. She stared back just as fiercely, too tired to fight, but ready if need be.

"I … I'm not here to apologize. I did what I felt was the right thing – and it was the right thing. I stand by it."

Norma had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. "Kay … thanks for coming by to tell me that."

"I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you," Alex quickly added. "I wish I could change that … but it's done. I wish it was different."

"It's not your fault, Alex," she whispered. "It's bigger than this. It's my fault anyway, for trying to hide it." Norma shook her head. "Now its, it's coming out and there's too much to shove away."

She wasn't wrong. Alex could tell – she had admitted it. The raw truth about Norman.

"I'm not gonna lie," Norma sniffled. "I'm so scared. He's my son and he's broken."

Alex nodded. "I know. I understand. So is Alexa."

"I know. And he's the dearest boy that's ever lived – and she's the dearest girl. But she's safe at least, her secrets are hidden," Norma's voice shook. "What if Bob brings this up and then they put Norman away – just for defending me? It'll kill me if he's locked up." She was on the verge of sobbing, until suddenly she shook her head and the floodgates stopped.

"In some ways I don't care … what if it's just fate? We're all doomed anyway."

"I don't know. Probably," Alex shrugged. "But they're our children and we've got to try."

Norma nodded quickly. "Yeah … we've got too." She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and gave the saddest smile. "Anyway, I'm gonna go to the house. Thanks for stopping by."

He should've hugged her – consoled her in some way. Told her right then and there that he loved her and would kill anyone for her, as long as it made her happy.

But he didn't. His legs didn't move and his mouth made no effort to try.

Alexa decided to bike back to the Bates motel, thinking her father might be there. He had gotten in a fight with Norma recently, but perhaps they had made up.

Of course they'd make up, Alexa thought. He really cared about her – there was no way he'd let their relationship fail entirely.

When she got there he wasn't there, and Alexa realized she hadn't even considered him working. Maybe he was staying late to finish something? Either way, he'd probably answer his phone if she called.

"Dad?"

"Hey, what's up?"

"Where did you go?" Alexa bluntly asked, dropping her bike and going up the cement steps to the Bates' house.

"Bob's dead."

Alexa stopped walking. "What?"

"I killed him. For you and … for Norma."

Hmm. "I see. Well, as per usual, all our problems can be solved with a bit of murder."

"Alexa …"

"Dad, I'm thinking of taking some of Donald's money and going on a trip. Taking some time to breathe."

Alex stopped in his tracks. "Wait, what, why?"

"I called the school and I have more than enough credits to graduate early. I don't even know why I went." All while saying this she was walking up to the main house calmly, like it wasn't even a big deal.

"Why are you doing this? What the hell is going on with you?"

"Dad, I remember." Alexa could her Alex's breathing hitch. "I saw Donald do some horrible stuff to mom. And I … I need some time. I have it seared in my memory … I've gotta go."

Alex gulped. His worst fear was coming true. "Did he kill her?"

"Yes."

"I … how'd you get in the car?"

"He was going to take me somewhere," Alexa explained, "with mom in the trunk. I stopped him by putting the car out of reverse and into drive."

Alex let out a whimper, and she could tell he was crying. Alexa sat on the front porch stairs and sighed. "I just need some time alone. I just feel so sick. Every time I close my eyes, I see her. And he didn't just kill her."

"Alexa," Alex choked out.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be telling you this. But it's stuck in my brain and I can't handle it. I've got to go – I've gotta get out of here." Alexa wiped her tears with her thumb. "The money is yours. Do whatever you want. I'll be back. But I need time. Please understand."

Alex didn't respond at first, but then he coughed and she understood that he was trying not to cry. "Okay."

"I love you very much."

"I love you too."

"Thanks."

Alex couldn't help but scoff. "What, for loving you?"

"Yeah. Despite it all." He didn't reply to that. Alexa sighed. "Bye dad."

She suddenly saw a black figure running to the motel, into a car parked insidiously beside the motel. It wasn't visible when she biked into the parking lot, and it could barely be seen by the angle Alexa was at unless one looked very carefully.

Wait, it was Norman. What was he doing?

"I'll see you soon, I hope."

He got into the car, and she knew right away. It was Bradley.

"Yeah," Alexa replied. She stood up and made her way down the stairs, ready to bike and follow the car. "I'll see you soon."

"And you'll tell me your feelings and what happened and all that emotional crap?"

"Yes, dad," Alexa hurriedly replied, getting on her bike. "Don't worry, you'll see me."

"Okay. Goodbye."

Alexa began biking. "Goodbye."

She followed the car all the way, and watched as it suddenly began swerving. Something was wrong – Norman was losing control. And Bradley was right in the middle of it.

Finally the car stopped, and Alexa immediately braked. She was hoping for Bradley to get out so Alexa herself could stop Norman.

But it was Norman who got out of the car, running to the driver's door and attempting to open it violently.

"Dumb bitch!"

Weren't those the same words I used? Alexa thought. She felt a pit of despair enter her as she ran to the car, ready to pull Norman away. He was faster than her for sure, but strength was debatable. Norman had caught her by surprise the last time – she wasn't so surprised right now.

The moment she started running however, Bradley was pushing out of the car and running herself. It was absolutely stupid.

He was almost on the track and field team, why would you try and contend with him? Alexa thought, running behind Norman. She wasn't as fast, but she pushed herself forward to jump on him, trying to give Bradley the chance to run.

But the idiot was on the ground, totally startled, and now Norman was turning on her.

"Let me GO!" Norman screamed, rather high pitched. "She's a skanky bitch!"

Oh shit, it's Norma right now.

"She's not worth it, Norma!" Alexa went along with it. "Screw her!"

Norman pushed Alexa off, back handing her the moment he got the chance. Alexa fell back, her back against the tree trunk. Norman wrapped his hands around Bradley's neck and began violently smacking her head against a rock. He kept hitting over and over until finally –

Crack!

It was the sound of Bradley's skull breaking, and her brain leaking through.

"What have you done?" Norman murmured. "Mother … what have you done?!"

Alexa began backing away, using her hands to inch away from him. He turned his head and stared at her, then back to his hands.

"Alexa, please …"

She stared at him. "Clean your own mess, you psycho." Alexa stood up and started running to her bike.

This is all so wrong. What is the point of this? What's the point in being involved in all this death and despair? Even if I'm not doing the killing, I'm still involved.

It'll never go away.

I'm going to be like this, or be with someone like me, for the rest of my life.

Because the two of us are the same.

She was too caught up in her emotions. Dumb enough to forget that Norman could run faster than her, even after running beforehand. He grabbed her by her hair and pulled her back, making her drop on the concrete violently.

She looked up at him and he looked down at her.

OK before anyone says anything I just want to state - Alexa is 100% done. She's completely finished with having to deal with all the death and deceit and tragedy. She's pretty much decided that she's going to run away from all of it. When Alexa said she was going away for some time, she didn't actually mean going away - she meant killing herself. I hope I made that very obvious by the way Alexa acted in the beginning and middle, and how it seemed she was basically saying goodbye forever to Alex.

She sees Norman with Bradley and tries to stop him from making a mistake one last time and sees that there's no way to stop him from being who he is. And it just causes her to lose it. Alexa can't help but call him a psycho out of pure despair - that what she believed was completely true. That everything is wrong and it'll never be right and that death is the only way to fix it. Alexa has judged herself guilty and Norman is the jury confirming it.

As for the future of this fanfic, I have decided to continue with season 4. HOWEVER it's gonna be a little ... strange, to say the least.

Normally I'd say till next time, but since that's a little far off, I should say until 9 months have passed,

N.D.