"Like this?"
"No, like this,"
Rangiku swung her bokken in such a controlled, yet fierce and violent motion. Although she generally maintained a fun-loving and almost bubbly aura, when it came down to this stuff her seriousness couldn't be more real. We'd been going for almost two hours now and throughout the entire training session she'd taught me with such a strictness hard to imagine on her features.
We were wrapping up at this point it seemed like, and I was happy that I at least got to learn basic techniques like these since all I really knew how to work were my knives. She was having me practice my downward swing with my actual zanpakutou rather than my bokken, and I gotta say that the weight of it was something I most definitely wasn't expecting. While I had Musei no Koe strapped to me pretty much at all times, the difference between merely holding her versus swinging her was quite the difference.
I swung her down one more time—the motion as fluid, and firm as I could possibly make it compared to how shaky my first attempt was.
"Like this?" I asked.
"The execution was decent, but what's hindering you is your footwork," she positioned me with a gentle push and pull here and there, and then instructed me to do it again. "Much better," she smiled at me as she stood back and assessed me.
"Give me 30 more of those at that same speed, and we'll close with that for today." She shifted her weight as she placed her hands on her hips. "Besides, you wouldn't wanna keep loverboy waiting any longer would you?"
I flinched hard enough to lose my pace—my face was already severely heated with how much she pushed me today, and now she just had to add that little tidbit to the mix.
"Every break in formation will cost you 10 extra! You're at 40 total now," she sang.
Son of a bitch.
"Oh, Taichou—there you are!" she spun around in the corner of my eye.
Dear Kami I must look like such a hot-mess right now—couldn't he have just waited in the office like I thought the plan was? Thank Kami I wasn't fully facing him.
"How's the training going?" I heard him from behind.
It wasn't like I hadn't fought in front of him before, but something about training in front of him was just embarrassing. Maybe it was because I specifically was being watched rather than that attentiveness being directed to the situation entirety? More than likely, but one thing's for sure—if I was panicking about something as stupid as this, the battle with Zaraki-Taichou the day after next was going to be fun.
"It's going great! She seems to have caught on quickly, but still needs a bit of refinement,"
I didn't even have to look to know their eyes were on me—I could feel their eyes on me. A shiver ran through me at the thought, and I was immediately barked at.
"10 more!"
With an exasperated groan, I complied wordlessly—continuing my last 34 now. It took my insane drive to end this training to refrain me from an outburst at this point.
"Think she's ready for sparring?" I heard Toushirou.
"She's gonna have to be at this point, but if it weren't for her upcoming predicament—I'd say maybe one more lesson in zanjutsu and she'd be ready for a light sparring match." She responded with a light tone—it seemed slightly tinged with impression?
I decided to focus on counting rather than delving into the usual intensive deciphering habit I had. I looked back up in front of me—focusing through the opened shouji door where Toushirou hadn't entered. I looked past the older engawa and into the deserted, unpaved area of the outside training facility in almost complete concentration.
"I'll count for you, so you don't lose focus," Musei no Koe broke through when I had about 19 left. "In preparation for my battle with Zaraki Kenpachi, tomorrow I will not only require full reign over you, but additional time deep in the mountains of the Rukongai."
"Oh?" I answered with caution—I'd be damned if I had to do 10 more of these.
"Up until this point, I haven't tapped into The Shinwa for more than suspension, and partial distortion—it is capable of much more than that, and I need to regain the feel of it externally before the battle ahead. Inform your guardian, and have him make sure the proper accommodations are met."
"How many left?"
"Seven."
"I'll ask for you—I'm sure that he'll be able to make it work, but next time please try telling me stuff like this earlier that way we can avoid being problematic."
I was ashamed to say that I was out of breath at that point. While I wanted to power through my last four downward slashes, I kept the same pace as a form of mental restraint. There was a silence between the two of us, and I wasn't sure if it was because she was waiting for me to finish these last four, or if it was because I called her out on her punctual lack. Did the way I asked her come out harshly? I thought that I was pretty calm and collected about it.
"Understood." She replied on my last one.
I hunched forward with my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath.
"Take a minute, and make sure to keep moving," Rangiku told me—she was right, if I stood still I'd more than likely vomit.
I walked outside onto the engawa, pacing slowly back and forth as I thought about it. It wasn't like I was reprimanding her or anything like that—I was merely asking for different execution for the future. Maybe I—wait a minute.
That was the first time she'd ever willingly obliged to a request without some sort of deal. It wasn't me giving her an ultimatum as I had in the past—it was something small that was an actual request. Maybe she died a little inside that she gave into me? I didn't want her to feel that way, but I guess I didn't blame her. At the same time though…I felt pretty damn good that she cared enough about me to actually consider me. It was a win for me in the Master-servant scale from an outsider's perspective, but to me it wasn't like that at all—it was moreover winning a dear one's favor.
"You okay?"
"Great actually," I answered the male now leaning against the threshold behind me. "It's weird, I've already been in a few scraps, and I wasn't this tired in either of them. This is gonna be difficult getting used to," I took a deep breath.
"Adrenaline is a powerful thing—it's all you've been relying on at this point rather than technical skills." He commented back.
"True," I straightened up after a quick stretch. "About tomorrow," I began, sneaking a quick look at him and praying to Kami I didn't look like too much of a hot-mess.
"Musei no Koe just told me that she's going to need to be in command for the majority of the day to get a better handle on The Shinwa externally since she hasn't had too much of a chance since it's awakened—she's requested a day in the mountains for optimal training purposes. With the whole thing regarding Zaraki-Taichou, it's probably for the best we give her as much prep time as we can to give you guys the best show," I smirked and shook my head.
I was against the whole battle with him, but at the same time, it was a good thing to show everyone just what in the fuck they were dealing with. As much as it disgusted me to have this Kami-damned atrocity within me, if it was going to be our trump-card, I needed to master it and make damn sure that I could actually be useful for this upcoming storm.
He took a moment to assess my request, and answered as soon as Rangiku approached. "Not a problem—we'll have to get an early start, but I can arrange it nevertheless. Matsumoto, you're going to have to cover for me tomorrow."
Her jaw-dropping reaction was probably what he was aiming for as a bit of a light subject change—it worked.
"No fair, Taichou!" she whined—successfully making me smirk and chuckle at her reaction.
"I don't want to hear it," he told her as he motioned me to grab my things with a quick head movement. "These are the cards you've been dealt—make the best of them, and utilize this time to get all of your work done."
She huffed and puffed up at him with more whine, but I tuned her out as I quickly tied my waraji and fixed Musei no Koe back through my obi. I couldn't wait to get home—we had plans to go out somewhere tonight, and I was ecstatic at the change in routine. Not only that, but those butterflies that only became active when him and I were alone were fluttering around like crazy in excitement. Was this what the anticipation for a first date felt like? Kami that sounded so corny…
"Ready?" Toushirou asked beside me.
"Yep,"
I turned to the fuming Rangiku who was making faces at Toushirou behind his back, and refrained from the cackle threatening to surface. I bowed toward her, and out of my periphery I caught her straightening up.
"Thank you for training me, Rangiku—I appreciate it." I gave her a small smile when I rose back up, to which her entire expression changed.
"You're welcome, Akinoyo-chan—thank you for listening." She winked—I shook my head to refrain from a blush. "Where are the two of you off to? Home for the evening?"
"For the moment," Toushirou responded to her, causing her to give a sly look at him before her eyes shifted to me.
"Huh, if I didn't know any better I'd say you guys were planning something," she tried to pry. "Are you guys going out tonight? Where are you taking her, Taichou? Is this a public or secluded place? Where did you—"
"None of your business," he cut her off as he crossed his arms and turned away from her toward the door. "Be at the office tomorrow at 07:00." He ordered.
"What! Taichou that's too early! Don't try to escape my questions! Are you guys going out tonight or not? Maybe I wanted to take Akinoyo-chan out for a bit!" She pouted.
Toushirou was so close to an eye-roll it was ridiculous, but the fact that the two of them were able to bicker lightly like this made me happy—it was such a good breather for all of us.
"Yes, we have plans tonight—thank you for the offer though! I'll have to take you up on that soon—I definitely owe you some sake." I winked.
"You are? That's fantastic!" She gleamed.
"Let's go." Toushirou wasn't about to let himself be subjected to his Fukutaichou's wave of borderline motherly affection and squeals of pent-up teenage girl emotions—I hurried toward him out the door.
"Hey! Don't think this is over! We're still going to celebrate this when this is all over!" She shouted after us.
-x-x-
"What's wrong?"
I forced myself into a huge shiver in an effort to keep myself from squirming any more. I needed to get used to this whether I liked it or not, but damn, I felt like I was drowning in fabric.
"Just uh—not used to this type of attire," I tried leaning back against the seat.
He set his tea down and looked me over again before making his reply. "I see—compared to the standard shihakushou or the clothing from the World of the Living, I'm sure that must be on a completely different scale."
"Most definitely—I'm used to just a plain shirt and pants with maybe a sweater or a jacket, but to be in public wearing something with this much fabric just isn't sitting well with me. Damn Rangiku for dropping this off along with obligation,"
"I told you that you could have come out in your shihakushou," He smirked as our waitress came to take the last remaining plates.
"Yeah, and be the oddity between the two of us, Mr. Casual Garb? No thanks—I'd rather deal with being uncomfortable than draw any more awkwardness to myself." I shook my head.
"As uncomfortable as it might be," he began as the waitress bowed and filed out of the room with the payment, "that does look good on you,"
Kami, cue the blush.
"Damn your forwardness," I broke eye contact and peeked toward the doorway to make sure the waitress was out of earshot—my lips taut to hold back my panicked embarrassment as best as possible. "Good Kami—are you enjoying this, Romeo?" I harshly whispered.
"Seeing those shy tendencies in full effect? Never," He teased before taking another sip of his tea.
I rewarded him with a dead-panned facial expression.
"How reassuring," I sounded for added sarcastic emphasis. "You know, Romeo, I'm curious as to how you're so collected about all this—is it simply the difference between how males and females react to things, just your personality, or is this not your first rodeo? I guess since we've both more than likely lived longer than the regular human lifespan, the latter doesn't seem too farfetched."
"While the latter is true in the sense of not being so farfetched, it's primarily the first two you'd mentioned—probably more of my personality than anything else. Seeing you react to certain things I do or say helps me get to know you better—I can't say that the way you get flustered at an attempted tease isn't a reward though." He smirked.
"Well la-dee-da," I narrowed my eyes at him before taking a gulp of cold sake. "You know, I must have said it about a thousand times already, but I'll say it again: I'm a woman of equal exchange. I'll eventually find what makes you flustered, and come at you with zero remorse—your day's coming soon, Prince Charming." I smirked.
"I won't hold my breath,"
I had to give an eye-roll at that one. That damn nerve of his I'm in love with—he does it on purpose too. A heard a small chuckle from him, and decided to just let him have this one.
"Yeah, yeah, chuckle it up, wise-guy," I took another gulp. "So am I correct though? This isn't your first rodeo? You know, I only know vague things about you while you at this point know more about my life than I ever did—why don't you tell me a bit about Hitsugaya Toushirou? Here, let me start it off: 'You like long walks on the beach at sunset, like to throw a picnic on the sand with wine—or in your case tea—and enjoy looking up into the sky as the twilight fades into night.' Did I hit the nail on the head, or did I miss something?" I smirked.
Now was his turn for the eye-roll. He shook his head and tried to mask a laugh. "Have you been saving that in your arsenal?"
"Maybe—maybe not," I shrugged. "I'm waiting, Romeo,"
"Anything specific you're looking for?" He asked.
"Not at the moment—just whatever you feel like telling me at this point. Eventually I do want to know everything about you, but we can do this in increments if you'd like." I smiled.
He looked me over for a few moments, then leaned back and took his last gulp of tea. "How about we walk and talk?" he prompted.
"Sure, give me a second to chug this," I smirked. "Waste not, want not,"
-x-x-
That most definitely explained a good amount about this whole Hinamori Momo situation. They'd grown up together, and had shared so much with one another that this girl was like a sister if not more to him. It didn't explain the hurt in his eyes at her recent house-call, but it was an indicator that she was one of the few people he gave two-shits about in this crazy world we lived in. Toushirou to me didn't seem like the type to really be a huge social butterfly—which was great because I myself was reclusive—and so whatever it is that happened between them to cause that reaction in him must have really hit a nerve with the poor guy.
I felt like prying into that as we walked was a bit uncalled for, and so I stuck to commentary on other things. His grandmother in the Rukongai, his time in the academy, a few of his likes and dislikes, poking fun at him for silly things—the usual asshole tendency of mine I loved to sarcastically portray for my own humor in full utilization.
It got a few laughs and witty comebacks, and all-in-all made it seem as if this evening was proving to be the distraction that not only I needed, but he needed as well. On top of that, I felt that all this attraction between the two of us had flown off the handle—not that I minded—because of the situation. As if kicked into overdrive because of necessity on everything. It was nice and refreshing to see that we could do something somewhat normal for the very first time together. Granted, it wasn't like the two of us weren't on alert, but it was nice to just break custom in this fashion.
We made it back to his home, and after helping him turn on the lights and whatnot, I excused myself to his engawa for a smoke since it'd been a little while. After the first successful drag, I leaned back in such a lazy, un-ladylike fashion in full relaxation mode.
I was so happy I'd gotten to learn about him at least a little bit, that I felt accomplished for lack of a better word. It showed that he trusted me—another display of his actual care toward me and his feelings. He wasn't the type of guy that shared much with others—it proved my importance without him having to actually spell it out for me. Those flutters I was now starting to get used to caused me to smile up at the winter stars.
"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out for much longer," Toushirou commented from behind me.
"Pish-posh," I waved him off as I sat back up and took another drag—he sat down next to me and followed my gaze skyward. "I'll be fine—I don't plan on being out here too much longer anyway,"
He didn't respond to that, but changed the topic. "I hope tonight wasn't too boring for you—once everything settles, I'll take you somewhere nicer than that,"
"What? Of course tonight wasn't boring!" I turned to look at him—that serious facial expression of his meeting mine. "Tonight was great, and I can't get over how happy it makes me that we were able to do something like this—everything's always so chaotic that it feels great to take a break. It's like you said this morning—getting your mind off things sometimes is healthy. If this hasn't been the healthiest I've been in years, I'd be the biggest liar in existence." I paused to take a drag. "It's all thanks to you—don't forget that." I exhaled.
He didn't say anything, and when he didn't reply, I continued as I cleaned out my kiseru. "That place wasn't boring if that's just what you're worried about. I'm not the type that needs to be dazzled by everything—just something small like breaking the norm is enough for me. To me, that in itself is exciting," I smiled up at him. "I mean, I can get really gushy if you want me to, but I wouldn't want to gross you—or myself for that matter—out by plunging into feministic tendencies. You get enough of that as it is," I blushed as I set my accessories on the other side of me.
I turned back to look at him to see him looking out into the distance. The seriousness on his face told me that there was more to it than the first layer I'd picked up on. I was such a fool for not seeing it earlier.
Letting my heart more than my hyper-active mind call the shots, I placed my hand on his lap, and leaned closer to him. "What's got you so worried?" I cautiously questioned.
A few moments of silence passed—anxious seconds on my end—before he made any movement. He set his warm hand over my cold one as he spoke.
"Nothing—I'm glad that you had a good time after all,"
I scooted closer to him and flipped my hand over to warm my fingers in his palm. "Toushirou," I scolded as he would have done to me had I displayed the same behavior. "As I know I can trust you—know that you can trust me." I interlaced my fingers with his, and leaned into him.
"I'm here for you as you are for me—I won't force you to talk about it, but I'm here as your listening ear for anything and everything. Please don't forget that."
He took his hand back to take hold of my waist and pull me into an embrace against him. "I know I can, and I'm thankful to have you, Akinoyo. You've given me a reason to start caring about others and myself again rather than remaining as distant as I have been for years. I appreciate you," He took a deep inhale, and while he did, my curiosity got the better of me.
"I wonder—why would a guy like you grow so distant? While your personality mirrors mine to an extent with the same solitary behavior, you also have such an optimism that makes it hard for me to believe that you would want that distance from everyone. It make me feel like…" I paused in realization that I was probably prying too much. "Ah, I'm sorry," I sheepishly apologized as my spine stiffened against him.
"What does it make you feel like?" he questioned—damn, I felt bad.
I took a deep inhale, and answered quickly before I exhaled. "Like there was some catalyst event that caused it."
There was silence between us, and my thoughts became sporadic with guilt and regret. Just because I was normally on a mental overload and felt better voicing out my events did not mean that was how he dealt with things. I mean, he always said to address it and get it off my chest, but who knows just how he handled it—I went a bit overboard.
"I'm sorry—you don't have to—"
"You're right." He interrupted—I shut up and focused on what he was about to say. "There was an event that caused me to create that distance, and to not get close to anyone again. An event I don't like to think about, but catch myself constantly reprimanding myself over. It's something that I need to get over, but just can't seem to accomplish."
I pushed myself out of his embrace to look into his eyes—such a hurt emotion glazed over that icy stare of his. He looked out into the garden lost in thought, and I reacted with the only thing my heart allowed me to do.
I reached up my hand to take hold of his face, and kissed his cheek—his face turning to meet mine, and my forehead rested against him as the words flowed from me.
"I believe in you, Toushirou—in my world, you are the man that I know can, and will accomplish whatever it is his heart desires. The fact that I'm allowed to assist you in that way is not only an honor, but a privilege—I can't tell you how happy it makes me that you trust me enough to be the hand you hold. How happy it makes me that just as you have helped me, I get to help you."
I brought my lips to his, and after just a few quick motions, I pulled back to look at him. "I'm here for you—when you're ready, I will help you to the best of my ability to squash whatever it is that plagues you." I smiled.
He gave me a long look—my blush only amplifying more than it already was at my newfound behavior—and the corners of his lips turned up in a smile. He put his hand against the back of my neck—palm gravitating upward to have his fingers seep into my hairline to gently pull me forward. He took my lips with a soft, yet dominant thirst—as if the words that I'd said gave him a small taste of that salvation he yearned for, and he took my lips to take more of it.
After rattling my insides with such an intense, heart-thumping kiss, he pulled back to take in my features as he his thumb gently caressed my jawline. I looked away in a blush from the eye contact, making him lean into me again for a quick press.
"I appreciate you, Akinoyo—more than you realize," he told me softly. "If I could at the very least make you happy, then the efforts I've made to start healing wouldn't be in vain."
He pulled back to look at me, that damn small smile of his summoning those insects from Hell to respond ferociously within me. "Tonight, let's keep the mood light—I want both of us to relax, and enjoy each other rather than delving into topics like that."
I gave him a brief nod and returned his small smile with my own. "Sure thing. You just let me know when you're ready for that—I'll be here waiting for you," I moved some of his hair as a necessary distraction for my overwhelming emotional state. "You're making it seem like the night isn't over yet now that we're back—what else did you have in mind?"
He leaned down to the crook of my neck—his lips travelling down to my collarbone in light kisses that tingled my skin. The intake of air I took in reaction made me internally die of embarrassment from how badly it resounded my excitement, but it made him chuckle as his hands set on my hips.
"I'd like to see more of that blush tinting your cheeks—if you'd allow me that is," he teased.
With a huff, I took hold of each side of his head—fingers meshing into his hair as I leaned forward into him.
"You know you don't have to ask me twice."