Chapter 39

Louisa was staring out the window of Ruth's car while they took the road to Truro. She wasn't particularly paying attention to the lovely Cornish landscapes that flew by, just staring into nothingness while her thoughts were running wild and free.

Ruth wasn't much of a conversationalist either. After their initial greetings at Ruth's house, they haven't spoken a word, each just busy with their own thoughts.

Louisa had a tiny little grin on her face when she thought about her morning. James was up extremely early, and for once Martin was still sleeping like a log. Well, actually it wasn't that surprising, as he was out late last night on a call. Joe Penhale called after 23:00 requesting Martin to assist as there was a motor accident about 10 miles outside Portwenn. Martin only returned home after 02:00. When she asked him sleepily if everything was ok, he just said his usual "Fine", before he got into bed and fell asleep immediately.

So Louisa had to attend to a moaning James way before the sun was up. It was far too early for getting dressed and breakfast, so she picked him up, took out a book from the shelve and tried to calm him a bit with some good reading. He settled in her lap and cuddled his little body close to hers, taking a streak of her hair and twisted it around his small fingers. When the story was finished, she softly sang him a couple of nursery rhyme songs. His eyes grew heavy and before she knew it, he nodded off again, so she placed him carefully in his cot again. Just before she left the nursery, she looked back at the room. It was really tiny and cramped, but this was James' room since he was a new born baby…apart from the times she...uh... 'took a break' from Martin.

Soon, they'll move into the new house and this would never be James' room again. Their lives would really change when they move there. No more cramped closets and tiny spaces. No more morning intruders into their personal space. They will have a house, no a Home! Finally. Louisa believed that it was a very important step towards a better future for the Ellingham's.

After leaving James' room, Louisa went downstairs and started breakfast. She thought she'd surprise Martin with some breakfast in bed. He's done it countless times for her…and she can't recall her ever doing it for him. She took him breakfast once to his office…that didn't go very well. But that was a different time in their lives.

When she entered the kitchen she switched on Martin's fancy coffee machine. She placed some eggs in the boiler and a couple of sausages in a frying pan. She toasted some bread and sliced up a tomato. When everything was done, she placed a plate and one cup of coffee onto a serving tray. She stood back to take a good look at her work. Her teeth troubled her bottom lip as she pondered. A sudden smile filled her whole face as she thought how she promised herself to be more romantic with Martin. She went to her school bag, took out a note pad and wrote a small note. She took a scissor and cut out the note in the shape of a heart! She stared at the note, and thought how silly it was! Louisa Ellingham acting like a silly teenager! But, maybe that's what the two of them needed. Some silliness!

She took the heart shaped note and placed it underneath Martin's cup of coffee so that the bottom of the cup covered the words. Then she took the tray and headed upstairs. When she entered their room, it was still 15 minutes before Martin usually got up. She walked over to his side of the bed and softly called his name. "Martin…Martin, I made you breakfast"

Martin opened his eyes and was immediately startled when he saw Louisa standing in front of his bed. He lifted his tall figure to sit up straight. "What's wrong? Is James alright?"

Louisa just smiled while she placed the breakfast tray in front of Martin. "No, everything is fine Martin, sorry if I scared you. But I brought you breakfast"

"Hmm, Why?" Martin looked with big eyes at Louisa and then at the plate in front of him, which held a much larger breakfast than he normally had. Suddenly his mind flashed back to a previous breakfast his beautiful wife once brought him. He should have handled that situation better.

Louisa scrunched her eyes and tossed her head to the side. "Because…Mar-Tin, I wanted to do something nice for you…especially since you were out till the early morning hours. But clearly you don't want it, so just give it to me, I'll take it downstairs!" Her eyes were flashing fireballs at Martin. You failed again, Louisa, she thought to herself while she reached down to take the plate. He'll never appreciate gestures like those…you should have known better, you just wasted your time!

Martin grabbed Louisa's hands that was reaching for the tray and dragged her down next to him on the bed. "Sorry. It's just…uhm, I am not used to ... I don't think anyone's ever done it. For me. It looks…good. Thank you." Martin looked deep into Louisa's eyes. A very tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. It made Louisa soft inside. How does he do it? How does he Infuriate and melt her, all in 1 minute? She sighed heavily. Life with Martin Ellingham will never be predictable, that's for sure.

"OK, I will quickly go get my breakfast and I'll come and join you. Is that ok?" She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. He just nodded.

A couple of minutes later Louisa entered their bedroom again with her own plate on a tray. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Martin holding the "love-note" in his hands, while he had an odd look on his face.

"Martin?" She felt a little blush on her cheeks as she did not know if he'd think it was childish!

When he turned his head she saw that his eyes were red rimmed. He swallowed hard on a lump in his throat, cleared it and said "Thank you Louisa" He placed the note against his bed side lamp. When she looked at the note, she can hardly believe she wrote such a beautiful line.

"Martin. You are my soul mate and my forever, we will always be together. Love Louisa.

She gave him one of her magical smiles and said: "Pleasure, my extraordinary man!"

"Thankfully the road was fairly uneventful." Ruth's voice broke Louisa's reminisce.

"Uhm, yes it was." Louisa looked at her watch which showed that it was 11:10. "I am sorry Ruth; I've been a terrible passenger. It's just…I am sort of nervous about today. Both appointments. You know?"

"It's understandable. Even Predictable"

Ruth stopped in the parking lot of the Truro Hospital. Luckily for Louisa, the physiatrist's office was in the same building as Dr Tailor. Just before she got out of the car, Louisa turned to Ruth and said "Thank you so much Ruth, I really appreciate you driving me today."

"My pleasure dear. Now, are you sure you'll be fine? We could meet up for lunch between your appointments if you want?"

"Oh, no, it's fine Ruth. I know you have an appointment scheduled and you also mentioned you were to visit a friend as well. I'll grab a quick bite between the two appointments. I want to go visit a nearby baby store just around the corner. I saw it last time when we left Truro. So I'm sure I'll be just fine. I'm sure I'll be done by three latest."

"Right, I'll be off then. You'll give me a ring when you're ready to go?" Ruth gave Louisa a crooked grin.

Louisa smiled and nodded. "Yes, Thanks." She climbed out of the car and Ruth took off.

Louisa stood dead still for a moment, took a big breath and said: "You can do this, Louisa!" She walked to the hospital, entered through the glass doors and looked at the information board in the reception area to try and locate Dr Coralline Jones' office. Her consulting rooms were on the second floor.

When Louisa walked through the door of the office, it was 11:20. She was greeted by the receptionist with a smile and a "Good Morning"

"Good morning, I'm Louisa Ellingham. I have an 11:30 appointment." Louisa's voice sounded odd to herself, like someone else was speaking. She felt extremely nervous about the visit.

"Ah, Mrs Ellingham. May I please ask you to complete the form attached with all your details. Once you're done, you could give it to me so that I can capture everything on or system. After that, there is a little questionnaire that Dr Coralline asks all her first time patients to complete. If there is anything unclear, feel free to ask" She handed Louisa some papers and a pen.

Louisa quickly completed the personal details form and handed it to the receptionist. Then she started the questionnaire. It was 20 questions about how you rated your current stress levels, anxiety, happiness and life. She had to think really hard on some of the questions, but was done when a door opened on the right hand side of the receptionist. A couple walked out, about mid-thirties, if Louisa had to guess, closely followed by a grey haired woman, probably reaching 50. She had striking green eyes, an open friendly face and wasn't especially slender in build. She was wearing black pants and a light pink button through shirt with a decorative scarf and flat comfortable pumps.

"Mrs Jordan, could you please schedule an appointment for the Andersons here for next week?" She turned to them and gave them a big smile that revealed sparkling white teeth and warmth. "I'll see you real soon, alright. Drive safely."

The couple greeted the psychiatrist and were in discussion with the receptionist when Dr Coralline Jones turned towards Louisa.

"Good morning! I assume you're my 11:30." She reached out a hand and gave Louisa a warm welcoming smile, which did wonders for Louisa's anxiety about the appointment. She was surprised as this lady wasn't what she expected. In the back of her mind, she pictured a stiff uptight professional woman dressed in a tailored suit and glasses. Instead, she was greeted by someone who looked like your mom. She exuberated warmth and care.

Louisa took the Doctors hand and lightly shook it. It was warm and soft and Louisa thought of how much this lady reminded her of someone, she just wasn't sure who. "Yes, I'm Louisa…Ellingham."

"Well, let's go to my office and get to know each other." She gestured for Louisa to follow her.

When they walked through the office doors, Louisa was surprised for the second time in a very short period. The office looked very cosy. Like it was someone's living room. There were two very comfy couches with lots of cushions in different colours to the one side of the room. Above the one couch, which was positioned against the wall, was an enormous painting of a staircase that went up into some soft fluffy white clouds until it simply disappeared? The painting was so good that it looked like you could climb those stairs right there and then. On the other side of the room was a desk and chair, while the middle was filled with a bookcase stacked with books of all sorts. Against the wall above the desk, were a couple of framed certificates listing Dr Jones' qualifications. It wasn't a very big room.

"Louisa, is it ok if I call you that?" Louisa gave Dr Jones a nervous smile while she nodded. "Good, I prefer to be called Dr Coralline rather than Dr Jones. Dr Jones reminds me too much of that song by that pop group called Aqua. Many years ago my daughter loved their music. She played it over and over along with that silly Barbie girl song! Do you know the song?" Louisa shook her head. "Come and make yourself comfortable while I quickly read through your answers on my sheet, will that be ok?"

Louisa once again only nodded while she walked over to the couch against the wall. She sat on the tip on the couch, placing her handbag right next to her feet and folded her hands on her lap while biting her bottom lip. After about 30 seconds she found a little hem on one of the seams of her dress and started tucking and twisting it.

Dr Jones walked over and settled on the couch opposite Louisa. She had a big note book and pen in her hand.

"Right Louisa, as you can see over there, above my desk, I am a qualified physiatrist. I've been practicing for 26 years and have seen a lot of patients and as far as I know, I've helped almost all of them, with the exception of a few special cases. I know what I'm doing and I believe in what I'm doing. Yes, I am married and I have 2 children, all grown up unfortunately." She paused for a moment and smiled. "I prefer to get all the questions you might have for me, out in the open before we start working on you. Now, tell me who is Louisa Ellingham."

Louisa shifted a bit in her chair, straightened her skirt, and looked up at Dr Coralline.

"Ok, well…I am married. I have a one-and-a-half-year-old boy and I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant with my second baby. Oh, and I am almost 39. I am the head teacher of our Local school down in the small village of Portwenn. My husband is the village GP." Louisa thought that was quite enough details about her.

"The doctor and head teacher, quite the power couple of a small village, I presume. I've been to Portwenn a couple of years ago. Very enchanting little place. Beautiful views. You are truly privileged to be calling that place your home."

Louisa's face lit up and when she spoke, it was a far more relaxed tone. "Oh, I simply love the village and all of its people. We are like one big family. Although it can be tough to maintain a private life. Which is often the object of discussion between me and my husband. See, he came from London, so he seldom understand the ways of a small fishing village."

"Oh, I would think it must be difficult to adjust from a big city like London to such a small place. And vice versa. You've ever been to London?"

Louisa nodded. "I studied there after school. I enjoyed it, but after my studies was complete, I desperately wanted to return to my home town." She wondered if she should mention her second trip to London. She decided it's best to just get it all out. "Roughly 2 years ago, I went up to London again, you know, give it another shot, but…" she stopped and bit her bottom lip and the thought of London and all its complications and discoveries, flushed her brain.

Dr Coralline wasn't born yesterday…she knew they've hit a little sensitive issue, it was clear by Louisa's face – who housed a huge frown - and body language as she stiffened a bit.

"London wasn't good the second time around? What happened?" She probed.

Louisa shook her head.

"Love interest, or family?" Dr Coralline tried to ensure that the conversation kept moving forward.

"Well, it's sort of a long story... Louisa wasn't sure if she should tell what happened in London.

"Well this room happens to love wrong stories! She gave Louisa a reassuring smile while waving her arms around in a circle.

Louisa grinned at the truth of the statement. "Right. You see. Me and Martin – that's my husband – were having an on and off sort of relationship. It seemed like the universe tried with all its might the keep us from getting together as there were always interruptions and medical situations. But in the end, after an unfortunate accident with a friend of mine, I realized what an extraordinary man Martin was. I told him that much, and he proposed to me. We ended up…hhmmm…commemorating our love for each other that night. We then planned our wedding in 3 weeks, but on the day of the wedding we both realized it wasn't the right thing to do. After another week in the village, I decided to pack up and leave, for London. My friend found me a job at a posh all-girls school in the middle of London. After a couple of weeks I found out I was pregnant, with Martin's baby. I was shocked and horrified and didn't know what to do…all I knew was that I really wanted the baby, no matter what the situation with its father was. I did not inform Martin of the baby, as he is a very…difficult person. I was sure he'd want nothing to do with me or the baby. I planned to have the baby, stay in London and raise it on my own. But the school didn't appreciate having a single pregnant staff member, and I was asked to resign. So I had no choice but to return to my familiar and safe village, where I knew I could count on everyone's support."

Dr Coralline saw how emotion after emotion crossed Louisa's face. She was writing endlessly in her note book. "Are your parents still alive? Do they stay in the village?"

Louisa thought that Dr Coralline would have many questions about what she just told her…instead, she was bowled over with a question about her parents?

"No, they don't. My Mum…"she swallowed hard before she continued. "My mom left when I was 11, she went to Spain with Xavier. Left me and my dad. My dad was never …fond of keeping a job. He also liked gambling. He had a run in with the law and are currently in prison." Louisa played with the seam of her skirt.

After a little while, Dr Coralline spoke softly. "Louisa, what do you want or expect from our sessions?" She looked Louisa straight in the eyes, kept it captured.

"I …I actually don't know. Maybe to find answers as to why me and Martin are having difficulty to make our marriage work, although it's been going a lot better these days. You see, he started therapy a couple of weeks ago, and I promised to do the same. I know that I am part of the problems we encountered…I can be difficult to live with and I expect him to know things and do things without clearly communicating with him. If you knew Martin, you'd know how difficult and clueless he can be. I only recently heard his full life story, which made me realize why he is the way he is. I need to work on understanding him better and work on understanding myself. I need to be a better wife.

"Well, I'm glad. It seems you have clear views and goals and that it important in achieving results with therapy. In the end, it's all up to you though. I'm trained in ways to help you discover yourself and where your strength and weaknesses lie. I can help you unlock them. What you do after we've done that, is the most difficult part of it all. Some people learn, accept and embrace, others deny and refuse the help I offer. It will be up to you."

Louisa nodded in agreement.

"Ok, so let's go back…tell me how you and Martin met…and got to where you are today…as I assume there is a lot to be told"

So for the next 45 minutes Louisa told Dr Coralline all about Louisa Glasson and Martin Ellingham. Dr Coralline interrupted the "story" every now and again with some well-placed questions and made notes as she saw how enthusiastically Louisa talked about Martin. It was clear that she loved him very much, although she picked up on a lot of strain and pain and miscommunication and heart ship. It's clear, life between the teacher and the doctor where filled with rocks…and sometimes boulders!

When Dr Coralline signalled Louisa that the time was up, she just reached the point where they returned from the cottage weekend break away.

"I can see that you and your husband had a difficult road so far. But it's clear that you love him deeply, and that is always the most important thing. If you decide to continue our sessions, I would like to hear the rest of the Glasson/Ellingham tale. You are both intriguing characters and I would love the opportunity to try and help you to have a better marriage and better life. But I also want to discuss your parents and childhood a bit more. So think about that…if you need to, you can even make notes of distinctive memories you have from your childhood. That would help. Sometimes we remember something only on a spur of the moment and when you try to remember it later, it's just gone. So if you remember things, quickly write them down on a note pad." Dr Coralline got up from the couch and Louisa followed her lead. "So, Louisa, can I look forward to seeing you again?"

"Yes, Dr Coralline. I must be honest. This was nothing like I expected. I enjoyed just sitting back and talk. I've never just talked to anyone about Martin and me. I feel quite comfortable with you so I'll definitely schedule another appointment. I am due for my 20 week check up again in 6 weeks. Is that ok, or did you want an earlier session?"

"I would prefer to have an earlier session. When you visit next time, we can work on a time schedule that will work better. Let me go think on it for a bit, ok? I have one bit of advice for you though. I've listened to your story about the two of you. It is clear that you and your husband love each other, and that you're both willing to work hard for it. You need to relax a bit around him. Try different ways of dealing with him when he becomes difficult, ways that are totally different from how you would have reacted in the past. I know it sounds silly, but count to 10 before you respond to things he says. Maybe ask yourself why he say the things he do. Maybe he has valid reasons. Or since he's a doctor, maybe he's looking at things from a Doctor's point of view. Maybe you could guide him and help him to think more like a husband…and you more like a wife." Dr Coralline walked to the door with Louisa in tow.

"Please check your schedule and call my secretary for an appointment?"

Louisa stretched out her hand and smiled. "I will. Thank you Doctor."

Louisa scheduled an appointment at the receptionist and left just after 12:30.

When Louisa walked through the doors of the hospital, into the fresh air and sunlight, she felt a bit lighter. The appointment was nothing liked she imagined. Dr Coralline was easy to talk to, and made her feel very comfortable. Unlike Dr Timoney. But she's come to realize that Dr Timoney wasn't the problem then, it was her. She wasn't ready for a therapist…and she firmly believed that Martin was the one with the problems. He needed the help, not she. But she was wrong. She only fully realized it on their weekend away at the cottage. Yes, he desperately needed help, but so did she. She was still kicking against the idea until Ben came and rocked her already unsteady world. He made her see how important her husband actually was to her. And gave a clear picture of how it looked when those you love are taken from you.

She looked at her watch and realised that she had an hour and fifteen minutes before her scheduled antenatal appointment. She started a brisk walk in the direction where she saw the baby store. She thought that she would just quickly pop in at the store to check out what was available. Maybe when she and Martin return for the 20 week check, and if the gender can be determined, they can go shop for a little something together. That's something they've never done together before. She bought all of James' early baby clothes.

When she entered the baby store she felt overwhelmed. From the outside the store looked like a general small baby store, but when you enter, you are greeted with isles and isles of…well, EVERYTHING a baby could ever need. Strollers, cots, bedding, clothes, diapers, formula, toys, books. It was literally baby paradise. She started walking the isles and saw 101 things she wanted.

Louisa was never one to spend money on the spur of the moment. Years of struggling to keep head above water taught her well. She wasn't planning on buying anything from the store, she was "just looking" as she told the sales assistant who approached her. When she looked at her watch a while later it had just gone 13:30. She had only half an hour left to get herself something to eat and get back to the Hospital. Just as she left to go, her eyes caught a beautiful pure white fluffy baby suit. She reached out and touched it and it felt like cotton candy. She fell in love with it immediately. She checked the price. Ah, it was a bit pricy, but a new born baby would look super adorable in that outfit! The constant battle of when to buy or not to buy something played havoc in her head. She grabbed the item and headed for the cashier. 1 minute later she walked out of the baby store with the small parcel wrapped inside her handbag. She caressed her tummy and whispered softly to herself. "There you go baby Ellingham. At least you'd have one very pretty outfit to go home in." All of the sudden she felt very excited about the visit and walked back to the hospital very quickly. She felt that her energy levels were picking up and she felt great. She decided to grab a healthy sandwich and some juice at the hospital cafeteria as she was shaving it thin with time.

At exactly 13:58 she walked through the doors of Dr Tailor's office.

The attending nurse asked her to walk with her to a room, but handed her a cup for a urine sample first. After Louisa visited the bathroom and left the urine sample in the requested slot, she walked to the room again. The nurse told her that Dr Tailor would be with her real soon. She waited for about 5 minutes before Dr Tailor came to the room.

"Hello Louisa Ellingham!" She reached out her hand and greeted Louisa. "So how's it been going…especially after the little scare we had a while ago. I presume everything was ok as I didn't hear from you or my esteemed colleague again!" She grinned as she gestured for Louisa to go over to the bed next to the sonar machine.

"Yes, everything is fine. Martin forced me to bed rest. Taking it far too literal. So, I think everything is ok, well, I hope it is at least. There wasn't any more bleeding. Not even after…hhmmm…you know…hmmm… Martin and I…" She bit her lip and looked like a guilty teenager.

"Not even after intercourse?" asked Dr Tailor. Louisa nodded. "Well that is spectacular news. Now let's quickly check this baby out." She smeared the cold gel like substance all over Louisa's slightly bolting belly and then she took the instrument and ran it across her tummy. Louisa was anxiously looking at the monitor with big earnest eyes.

"Ah, there we go, baby Ellingham. Look, it's grown quite a bit!"

Louisa's face lit up and she smiled from ear to ear as she saw the image on the screen.

"Ok, so let's measure everything." She pushed buttons here and there and after a little while a printer printed some pictures. She looked at them carefully and added it to Louisa's file. Then she printed two more pictures. "These are yours to keep. One for you, mommy and one for Dr Ellingham, whom I assume will dissect every inch of it! Ok, so let me talk you through it. You baby is currently 4 inches! Or the size of your closed fist. Head size is perfect; organs seems functioning well. The baby is moving all the time, which is a good sign. I cannot trace any sign of distress. And something good to know at this stage is that your baby can now hear your voice and feel your mood…so talk to it often as you can! Let's quickly listen to the heart rate." She pressed another button on the machine and soon a fast dub-dub could be heard. It brought tears to Louisa's eyes. It's always so special to hear that sound!

"Heart rate is quite normal. Overall. I'm happy. It doesn't seem like the baby were affected at all by the fall. Off course we'll always be on the lookout for anything unusual with any future visits since we knew what happened, but I am not worried so far. Estimated date of birth is around 10-12 June. All looks good. Now, how about you?"

Louisa visibly relaxed. She didn't want to admit it, but she was worried about the visit.

"I'm so happy! I was really worried. And I am fine. My ankle healed up quickly, I got lots of bed rest and the schools are currently closed so I feel quite relaxed and energized. We are moving house, so there is quite a lot to do at home now. Plus, my one-and-a-half-year-old is keeping me and his daddy on our toes."

"Well the second trimester arrives with energy in abundance! Use it well" Said Dr Tailor laughingly. "But be really careful, ok. No heavy lifting and moving things, let someone help you. I don't want to hammer on it, but you are geriatric, therefore we can't be too careful, right? Use the opportunity to boss around Dr Ellingham for once. You might not get the chance again! But the second trimester is also the beautiful trimester, as a woman becomes more radiant every day!" Dr Tailor winked at Louisa as she used a tissue to wipe off the gel from her tummy.

"As you know, our next appointment is the big one at 20 weeks! So until then, just keep healthy and active!"

Dr Tailor and Louisa smiled at each other while Louisa stood up and corrected her clothes. With greetings from both parties, Louisa left the room. She stopped at the reception to make an appointment. Once outside she pulled out the pictures she received! She was completely amazed that at 14 weeks a clear little tiny baby can be seen of the photo! Complete with head, body, hands, feet, toes! The wonders of life!

She took a deep breath and tucked away the photos. When she checked her watch, it showed 14:36. She took out her phone and texted Ruth that she was done. After a very short time Ruth send a reply: Please give me 10 minutes, I'll be there shortly". Louisa found a bench under a tree where she was able to see when Ruth arrived and simply just sat! She felt like breathing for the first time! She worked herself up so much for this day…and now both appointments were over and both went fairly well, she thought!

It's a week before Christmas…maybe this one will be a good one.

A/N: I apologize for the Long delays between chapters these days...THANK You to everyone who still read my long awaited chapters! And thanks for ALL the reviews...you are TRULY kind!