Chapter 37: Here You Come Again

She looked through the window into his room, watching him as he ate the food that was in front of him. She smiled, a tear rolling down her left eye.

The driver of the stray car had been caught for the theft in record time. A DUI had been given, an arrest made. Jim Brass had been made very angry, the crime lab incredibly efficient and cooperative. But for the first time, she realized how the victims felt. How it almost seemed as if the system forgave the criminals. How Justice didn't do the damage done to Gil justice.

The wedding had been called off. She could never risk or brave a wedding to a man that wasn't him, without him. His presence would have been the last confirmation she needed to go ahead with it because for her, Gil had always been her moral ground. The hand of confidence and the voice of reason. And she still couldn't figure out if it was him that was meant to be with her at the altar. Now she may never know.

Everyone was surprised at how fast he slipped out of his coma and also how fast he was able to return to stable conditions despite the serious damage he took to his head and the internal bleeding. The surgery had gone too well. He had overcome all odds. Doctors had said he may not talk or walk again. But she didn't remember anyone telling her that he could do all those things.

Just not remember anything after his college graduation.

They didn't know if it was temporary or if it was permanent amnesia. Some of them said that cases like this were very rare, that only a part of his memory had been erased. They also said that maybe it was a psychological issue; that he was repressing those memories. But they just weren't certain and that's what scared her most. How long would he have to be this way? Would she possibly have to go back to her life again, leaving him alone? Would she have to move on?

Would he ever remember her?

There were so many questions that she wanted to ask him, that she needed him to answer. When she saw him on the Strip, the question was on her lips but lost into the Vegas night.

'Do you love me?'

Now she would never know.

When she told Ian of the news, she heard him sigh and promise her that he would be at the hospital right away. He didn't tell her anything as he held her tight, while she cried like there was no tomorrow.

When she told Ian that she definitely needed to call the wedding off, he had simply nodded. As if he had already known this would happen. As if he had had the power of foresight. She wondered if Ian knew anything, if something had happened between the two of them.

"He's going to be all right, Catherine. He has to be."

For the first time, she couldn't find confidence in Ian's words.

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"Mr. Grissom? There's someone here to see you."

Catherine heard the nurse make the introduction and when she stepped into the room, she looked into his eyes. She saw his eyes widen slightly and his jaw drop a little. She couldn't help but grin, as she thought back to the day that they were first introduced, twenty-something years ago.

"Hi, Gil."

"You know me?" He asked, droopy-eyed and wide-jawed. Although her heart shattered into little pieces and she felt tears in her eyes, she couldn't help but giggle. He was back to the way he was when she first met him, the playful Gil Grissom he had been in his youth. He had lost the wisdom of his years, the sorrow of his wisdom.

"I'm Catherine. Catherine Willows."

She saw him frown as he took her offered hand and gave it a tentative shake. His touch felt no different to her, still inciting butterflies in her stomach.

"Willows…Where do I know that name from?"

Her heart stopped.

"I can't quite come up with a name but…I think I knew a friend with that last name."

"You remember Eddie?" She asked, in disbelief.

"Eddie…that might have been the name, yes. Are you related to him?" She burst out giggling again.

"I'm his ex-wife, Gil."

"Oh. Ok." He replied, as he scratched his head. "So…how do I know you? That can't be why you would visit an old man without a memory if you only knew his friend."

"Do you remember working at a crime lab at all? Do you know where you are?"

"I've been told I'm in a hospital in Las Vegas and…I have a fleeting image of a lab but…that's about it. I don't really remember the people I supposedly worked with or knew or what the crime lab even looked like."

"Well, I was one of your co-workers." She replied, a tear finding its way down her cheek again. His eyes widened again.

"Oh, dear. I'm sorry. We must have been close?" He asked, his expression changing from one of playfulness to seriousness. "But hey, if it's any consolation, I hate the fact that I can't remember because I'm sure I would have absolutely loved it." He gave her a wink that made her melt into a puddle. She smiled her Cheshire grin.

"You've only been awake a couple of days and you're already flirting with me, Gil."

"I feel fine. Other than the fact that I can't remember anything between the years of twenty-two and the fifty-three I am now. And can I ask you a personal question that you might not want to answer?" He said, squinting one eye.

"Sure." She was still overwhelmed by this new experience. She felt like she was who she had been thirty years ago and meeting Gil Grissom for the first time. Again.

"Do you know if I … if I had feelings for you?"

Her heart stopped again but she sputtered.

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. When you walked into the room, I kind of…felt something…in here," he said, gesturing to his chest, "but I guess that could be something silly. Like…I don't know. I mean…if I'm attracted to you now, that means I was twenty years ago or even yesterday, doesn't it?"

She laughed, her left sleeve going up to wipe her eyes again.

"I guess so. Except you never told me."

"Yeah. I'm not sure if I would have been able to be this direct with someone if I hadn't lost my memory." His face fell again, as his eyes lost their focus. "You don't know how scary it is. How it just seems like I woke up from my nap but… twenty years passed by."

She simply listened, fighting the urge to break down once again.

"I don't know who I've been. I don't know any of the things I've done. I don't even know where my home is, where my family is. I've just been told that I have no next of kin and no family. I've been able to figure out as much that I was probably a workaholic, leaving no time for an actual personal life. I was probably a ghost living in the crime lab that I was working at, not being quite social."

"Well, I guess losing your memory didn't affect your judgment." She replied, and he nodded as he smiled a bittersweet smile. Then he surprised her as he stood up from his bed and walked over to her, offering her his arm.

"Want to help me retrace my steps, Catherine? My heart tells me that…you just might be the key to my past." He told her, sincerely.

Hearing her name from his lips again and seeing his innocent, unknowing look, she didn't know what to say or what to do. She felt completely lost. But she shook her head, knowing that she should do what she knew was right in her heart.

She took his arm.

"Of course."