A/N: I was busy, and ill, and I'm sorry for taking too long. Also, this is the first part of the penultimate chapter, I had to break it into two. Please, uh, enjoy.

December 6, 2014

The Sky

by Hic Iacet Mori

Chapter 34

He was exhausted.

Sasuke didn't know how much time had passed. If time had, at all. He was on his back with Naruto's arm above his chest, his companion beside him lying on his own stomach as silence swept around them. His eyes were open, yet there was nothing beyond his gaze but the dream he just dreamed. A dream they just dreamed.

The cruelest dream Sasuke had ever dreamed.

For years, his other self had tried to attain that dream. It was the dream that would show Sasuke who Naruto really was, who Naruto was to him that Sasuke would wake up after two months in a coma and call out his name. It was the dream that would make him remember.

For ten years, however, Sasuke's heart and soul dreamed of nothing but the sight he last glimpsed before he fell back into a coma—

The sky.

Dark eyes drifted shut.

But it wasn't. It never was the sky. All this time his subconscious had been telling him what he had been really seeing, what he had been looking into all along. Had been hinting why it mattered if the sky was a light blue with puffs of white cloud, or an expansive gray with hints of dark blue, or almost white with hesitant blue brushes, or even all gray. Why he felt a peace that transcended his soul when it was a clear, cloudless, impossible blue.

The only times he could feel were when he dreamed of the sky—the same sky that gave him contentment while leaving him empty at the same time. The sky that, even in his ignorance, spoke of a promise to him—unwavering, unconditional, utterly faithful, the promise of a lifetime.

Just like the promise he last saw in Naruto's eyes.

He took a deep breath and opened them once more. A shifting, above him, and he glanced to his left. Blue met his gaze and his chest tightened. No wonder the Kurama bunshin had hidden his own eyes. All this time, the answer he had sought had been there in those eyes. In the end, tearing a part of himself to put in stasis with this Naruto in hopes of catching that elusive dream was for nothing—it was only Naruto himself, awake, who could give that dream. That dream that would trigger memories about the name he woke up to on his lips.

A memory that began in reality, and ended as it really was—a dream.

The cruelest dream Sasuke had ever dreamed, that he would give ten years of his past and his future to make into a reality.

And Sasuke was exhausted with a soul-deep weariness from sleeping too long, dreaming too much. Awakened, finally, but to the feeling that even this moment felt like a dream, as if he was still sleeping ten years later and simply dreaming he was awake.

Naruto rolled on his back, dislodging his arm from its place over Sasuke's chest as they lay side by side. The sudden loss was palpable, adding to one of the many losses Sasuke had experienced in his life. Adding to one of the many steps Naruto took to leave him behind.

"I meant to destroy Konoha and everyone in it," came his inexorable declaration, the grim truth sliding out in the fraying silence. "I wanted revenge for Itachi's sacrifice, justice for my clan. It was never my intention to play along to destroy Madara but you... altered my memories. Made me believe so.

"I was so convinced it was true it became my truth—perhaps why even TI and Yamanaka believed. I would have been executed, otherwise." Sasuke turned his head to the side completely, "You knew that was my only chance but—that wasn't why you sealed my memories."

Naruto slowly nodded.

"You did it for a different reason, but it's when you're doing it that you realized you can plant false ones. Change some memories. Like—what my brother did." Sasuke lowered his eyes, darkly amused. "To protect me."

"Sasuke…"

"But if I hadn't asked you to, you wouldn't have done it... na?"

Sasuke looked up, his eyes caught in a dream.

(You don't have to do this, stop it…)

Ten years ago, Sasuke wanted to forget.

(You don't understand, I don't want this anymore—)

Ten years ago, Sasuke changed his mind a little too late.

(I'll live!)

His eyes delved into blue, an eerie calm settling upon him at his own words rising from their slumber. "A life for a life, my life for the life I had with you—it wasn't a deal with the council or the Hokage. It was with me." The weight he felt in that dream returned with a cold vengeance, crushing where it hurt, all too tangible he could feel his chest cave in. "I made you choose between two deaths—mine, or yours. To let me die or let you die… like you never existed in my life. Isn't that right?"

He didn't wait for Naruto to answer. Even if it was denied, Sasuke already knew. The sinking in his stomach, the twisting in his heart—these were all the confirmation he needed.

"You want to be free? You wouldn't even let go. So selfish. You don't know what you want but you tried to have both anway."

And this struggle to breathe, Sasuke had grown used to it. "You took away my choice—because I forced it on you."

"I can't forgive you for making him choose for you."

"I wanted to be free." He saw his sword once more, glinting like a diamond against the light of the sun, and he could taste peace, relief, lies, "and yet I was hoping—"

I was hoping you would come.

A lifetime ago, Sasuke chose the solitary path of an avenger.

And Naruto...

But at the end of his life—

You did.

—he didn't want to die alone.

(When he was with Naruto, Sasuke didn't feel so alone)

"You in your Kurama bunshin don't want me to remember that day." Sasuke pressed forward—breaking off his tangent, the loneliness they bring forth—and pushed for answers instead. "You don't want me to remember what I said or did to force you. To make you make me forget you. But it's not just you, isn't it? It's not just you I forgot, our memories. I remember you now, Uzumaki Naruto, but something stops me from seeing our memories completely. This is the effect, isn't it?"

"Kioku Fuuin," Naruto replied, an answer that wasn't, that was. His voice had taken a note of distance and the inches between them cleaved into miles. Sasuke drew closer, an unconscious act of defiance. "Up there."

He already knew what he would see—bars of gold from the ground all the way to the sky, akin to the cage that used to hide Naruto's demon.

Memory Sealing Method.

Back then, Sasuke wondered, had he considered his own memories the demons he needed caged?

He felt wind around him, suddenly, heard the leaves from the tree rustling as the grass danced to its tune. Sasuke recalled the first time he felt the wind in this world—it was after his Chidori punched a hole to the golden gate that descended in this same world, the first time the Kurama bunshin tried to reinforce the memory seal he hadn't known he had.

Sasuke caught a flash to his right. A swift glance when he caught another on his left. A glint above. Below. Swiveling his head to rows and rows of bars appearing right before his eyes, spanning from east to west and well beyond his sight.

There were three gates in all, and he immediately determined the first two as the reinforcements. The topmost was the most recent, hovering a few centimeters from the ground. Millimeters separated the gate behind it from the ground, and it was with mirthless satisfaction that he observed the bars destroyed by his jutsu. The last gate—

Dark eyes widened faintly. His Chidori hadn't just stopped the first reinforcing gate—it went beyond and into the gate it was supposed to strengthen.

His eyes then travelled up the length of the last gate before stopping. Where before floated the seal of Naruto Fuuin now glowed a small tattered seal with characters too small to read from his distance, a flimsy scrap of paper slapped over a massive gate—a gate now covered in rust, guarding the border of the world of skies.

The seal upon it fluttered, ensnaring his attention once again. It appeared to barely hold on, as if it had been yanked countless of times before. The seal that hid his memories, it looked ready to fly off at the faintest of gusts.

Naruto raised a hand, turning his eyes up to the gleaming bars of gold. "That old fox tried to reinforce Kioku Fuuin. Tried." Naruto let out a mild snort as he made air-quotes to stress the word. He sobered immediately, his hands clasping together over his torso. "In truth, he knew this would happen. My will and his were warring inside that clone—and he took advantage any chance his will was stronger than mine."

He turned to Sasuke with a forlorn half-smile, gathering the latter's focus from the strange statement. "Kurama doesn't hate you. He's just... really unhappy. He thinks we're idiots, and apparently went behind my—the real Naruto's—back with a plan of his own."

Naruto took a deep breath. There was an unspoken understanding that Sasuke wouldn't interrupt with any questions. For now. "The plan was to reinforce the seal and isolate you from—from this." Naruto waved his raised hand, sweeping over the entirety of this strange world. "A nice, clean break, from what I got. Catch you in your sleep, cast the reinforcing seal, check for any mistakes, mission done and sayonara-ttebayo. There's a chance of failure, no plan is ever perfect, but it's a really small chance, and using Kurama bunshin ensured a regular Kage bunshin would have enough staying power with my will and Kurama's chakra for guaranteed success. Failing might speed up the damage on the existing seal and I wasn't keen on testing that.

"Turns out the stupid fox was gunning on that."

Sasuke listened attentively, not an inkling of the confusion that settled in his mind appearing on his visage. With an almost lazy elegance, Naruto fluttered his fingers and the two reinforcing gates disappeared, leaving the rusting gate they strove to strengthen behind.

"He planted ideas in your head. Hell, he gave so much hints he should've just blurted it all out." Naruto shook his head, more of exasperation than the anger that should have been there. "Kurama in Kyuu-bun flaunted my closeness to the people around you, taking advantage of my desire to catch up with everyone we know. Talked about—stuff you knew differently so you'd wonder, maybe doubt yourself. Even showed you how familiar I was with your house, and some things about you no one else would have known. Not even Sakura-chan, or Kakashi-sensei, or even Taka. All that so you'd know—that something's going on. That something's... not right. Maybe kept from you. So you'd hold tighter to the one thing you're sure of when the time comes, and maybe fight back. Fight him.

"And you did," Naruto remarked, a haze of grey tingeing his eyes. "You fought back so hard. You stopped him. Both times, you kicked his ass both times." Naruto looked down, his voice lowered into a whisper that floated clear as bell to Sasuke's ears, words sighed out in a moment he realized he wasn't supposed to hear, "I wish... you've fought that hard…"

"Why did you stop my suicide, with that—method?" Sasuke asked, pretending that those words hadn't stabbed him with their regret. He was shinobi, they both were, and he could stand the sting that radiated from where it struck. He took a fortifying breath, determined to plow on with a veneer of calm. "There are other ways to incapacitate a ninja. Me. You could've fought me until I fall unconscious. Used seals, yes, but to restrain my chakra. Even cut off my hands so I can't use my sword to kill myself. I was—weakened, after Madara. Defeating me would be as easy as stealing kunai from a student."

There was no way he could be stopped without a fight, but Sasuke also knew he was not at his best, so—

"I'm sure you'd have won without resorting to what you did," Sasuke ended, a hint of accusation coloring his voice. There should've been another way, Naruto should've found another way...

"That's the thing, Sasuke." The softness in his name silenced the judgment in his head. "You didn't."

There was defeat carved in words, in the curl of broad shoulders. The burden of unwanted victory was a load in Naruto's eyes that stilled Sasuke when he saw it, "You didn't fight back. You wouldn't. You just… didn't care." Naruto shrugged, as careless as it was false as it was heartbreakingly resigned. "I can take your pain," he husked out, stones scratching inside his throat, "I can accept your hate. I can swallow your rage... Try to understand your revenge. But I—I can't bear—"

In the wavering space between conviction and doubt, Naruto lowered his eyes.

"You've never looked—so far—"

Naruto raised his forearm with a sigh that could have been a stunted sob, finally covering his eyes as his words came out halting, unsteady. "I kept screaming. At you. And you just—lay beneath me and I—I kept punching you, your face, and you just… You're beneath me but you've never looked so far and you didn't—see anymore. See me. I... couldn't reach you anymore. You stopped—giving a damn. Fight back, asshole! I kept yelling at you, just to fight back you scaredy-cat. I started crying, at some point, or maybe I've been doing it since I saw you, trying to off yourself stupid, but you... didn't care. I stopped and—rambled a lot of things until you finally snapped back... and said—said things and—an idea got into my head—"

"Things," Sasuke cut off brusquely, coldly, refusing the consideration of a softened blow after a barrage of unexpected hits, "What things?"

"Your usual bastardese," Naruto replied with an odd laugh, still considerate, dammit, hurt me with my words, "Useless blah pathetic blah weak blah loser blah—"

"Naruto," he cut off again, his gut churning, his blood of ice and fire, "What. Did. I. Say."

Naruto's shoulders began to shake as he wheezed with chuckles from inside jokes that were half-meant, all-true.

"Tell me what I said. The words that planted it in your head, tell me." Sasuke lifted himself up on his elbows, staring his companion down with impatience, anger simmering. Brittle skin on the bones of his rising anxiety. "Tell me what I did, to push you. It can't just be because of what I tried. My sword was sticking out your back, not mine."

And still Naruto wheezed, even as he shook his head. "Yeah, you're really mean, letting your lightning run through it. And just to shut me up! Such an ass, Assuke."

Sasuke rolled to his side and yanked Naruto's forearm. "Tell me!"

Glittering blue eyes calmly met roiling dark ones. "It's just your typical shit, nothing spectacular. Okay?"

"Then," his voice dropped, like his heart to his feet, "why are you crying?"

Hairline cracks of white crossed the mirrors of lonely blue.

"If it's typical, nothing spectacular… why are you crying?" Sasuke rubbed his thumb on the other's skin, a child's attempt at comfort that escaped his own notice. "Why did you cry back then?"

Naruto smiled, eyes twin arcs of rainbows that always come after the rain. "Well, y'see, when something hurts real bad, you can't help but cry," he said in an airy tone meant to mock that came as a revelation instead. "It's the only way to deal sometimes, in the face of some things. Things like—truth. Truth hurts. You hurt, you cry."

Sasuke grasped at air for his suddenly constricting lungs. "Was that it? I said the truth and—"

"Sasuke."

His breath caught in his throat at how Naruto said his name. Every thought stopped, all his attention focused on Naruto and his sad, smiling eyes. "When you said you hate me… you didn't even mean it."

"I hate you."

"You didn't… even try to mean it…"

"You—"

"Just looked at me… with nothing—"

"I hate you…"

"You hardly lie, teme, you've always been too proud to hide your truth." Emotions swam in depthless blue yet they remained steadfast on him, "but that's the worst you've ever told me. And that—was your truth."

"I don't hate you," Sasuke bit out through clenched teeth, hissed out in pain and a terror that struck him in its simple truth and pried out of a chest slowly smothering in panic. Naruto in obscene colors flipped to Naruto in red and black and forth and back and forth and back until he shut his eyes tight. "What do—"

"The first time we met again, in that hideout, after I failed to stop you from going to Orochimaru… That time, you were ready to kill me." There was nary a hint of judgment—just a statement of a heartless fact by an impossible friend who never took it against him. Sasuke swallowed his clawing words—Idiot! Loser! Get mad at me, you utter dobe, useless piece of trash!—his natural defensive letters—I never told you to come after me—! They would be false and they wouldn't hide the aching sting of unasked forgiveness.

"I still remember your eyes," Naruto went on, ignorant as always to the earthquake he had caused, "There was nothing in them for us. For me. But… it was okay." Causing another tremor with his shameless sincerity, blowing Sasuke's eyes open in its painful wake. "Because they're alive, even if it's for revenge. Cold, but alive. There wasn't even a shred of doubt in them, y'know—you'd kill me. And I—stood there, let you almost do it. And though it hurt at how weak I was, at how sure you were, at how you looked at us… it was—okay...

"But that day… That day, there was nothing in them. Nothing alive. Nothing in them to live for. You said you hate me... but it's a lie. It's in your eyes. You felt nothing. Nothing for me at all, not even that hate.

"I can take anything you throw at me, bastard. You can hate me all you want, curse me to death, hit me with the highest voltage you can create or throw me the hottest fireball in Uchiha history. You can torture me until I actually fucking die. Hell, you can do your worse right now and I'll be fine with it. It would fucking hurt but I'll be fine with it, teme. I'll be okay. Just—"

Shadows fell on sunlight as Naruto bowed his head. "I can't watch you like that. I can handle your shit but not—not your dead eyes while you—told me you hate me and my useless—"

"You—"

Sasuke's body seized as Naruto closed his eyes.

"—and your useless bonds—"

"But I did set you free, Sasuke." Pale lips twitched in a crescent smile. "I promised that everything would be okay—and I never got back on my word."

That word... That word from a voice unmistakably his—icy, flat, dead—reverberated in Sasuke's head, interlacing with Naruto's avowal of the faithfulness of his own word—along with the words Naruto's Kurama bunshin had uttered a fateful night ago beside him, on his bed, when Sasuke woke up with his Chidori through the other's chest, and asked why he tried to kill Naruto a long long time ago.

"Words are ties. And the ties that bind—can also be shackles that chain."

"It's not the freedom you wanted, but it did the job. You got out of the—the chains that's been holding you down, been driving you further into the dark. In pain, suffering." Sasuke listened to the secrets in his voice and heard the murmurs of that night. "The seal released you... from the shackles of your past."

"My truth can be different from yours. What is true to me can be a lie to you, y'know. What can bind me—may chain you. And what can chain me, it may bind you."

"One of which happens to be—"

"The words I treasure can be words you trash too…"

Blue turned to him, liquid and clear. "Me..."

"What I consider precious ties—they can be shackles you curse—"

Then they squinted as he smiled, an expression so familiar it registered to Sasuke like a blow. "I can't let you die like that, so I did the next best thing."

"And what I believe in—can be something you deny—"

"I reached into your mind—"

"—something you refuse to accept."

"—and let you forget."

A tide of emotions threatened to engulf Sasuke as Naruto's voice cracked at his last word.

Forget.

Naruto let Sasuke forget to set him free. From his shackles. His chains.

"And the ties that bind—can also be shackles that chain."

"With Kioku Fuuin, you'll never be chained again. Naruto Fuuin may be gone but you'll never be shackled like that anymore. I made that promise and it still holds." Naruto looked up to the fluttering seal, and for a second Sasuke saw himself gazing up to the skies, wistful and longing, always trying and failing to reach. "I'll make sure of that, even if it's the last thing I do."

"You—and your useless bonds—"

Naruto caught Sasuke's eyes and the latter felt his heart freeze.

"I hate you."

"And now, Sasuke—"

"I hate you!"

"You got to let me go."

High above the heavens, a tearing against the sky.

"It's because of these bonds that I suffered. You don't understand the depths I was brought to, the agony and despair these bonds gave me. This weakness—these useless ties—I was getting rid of them until you came along. You kept going after me, yapping on and on about beating me, getting my acknowledgment, a chance to fight me, be my equal—

"Pathetic.

"You—you kept reminding me of my family. The bonds I used to have before it was snatched away from me. I suffered all the more, from my memories of them. I had to kill Itachi but I kept remembering how close we were before everything went wrong, how loving he was, and gentle and kind and wise, making me lose sight of my goal because of the bond we used to have, I kept seeing what we had...

"But I needed to avenge my clan. I needed to and you kept standing in my way. My family deserved justice and only I could deliver it, only I could kill him but you kept trying to stop me from going after Itachi—yes, my brother was innocent in the end, a sacrifice for the peace he believed in... he even went against his own blood for the village he loved, for Konoha! My brother—they ordered, manipulated my 13 year-old brother to massacre our clan but you didn't understand, none of you ever did understand why I need to avenge them, him, me!

"And you dared—dared to tell me—being with me is how it feels like to have a brother? That I'm one of your first bonds? That you understand?

"Your so-called bonds are nothing but chains! Chains you wrapped around my neck to drag me down to your side, shackled on me because you're just an orphan and a loser and that's all you'll ever be, a coward who can't face the world alone and let go when you're not wanted, a coward who'll latch on to someone all alone like you, like me! You only come after me so you're not alone, you only come after me so we're alone together—

"As if I'd want you, hah! What a joke. Don't you see I'd rather die? Bonds did nothing but destroy me. It tied me to my clan and I died with them that night. It tied me to my parents and I died with them at Itachi's hands. It tied me to my brother and I died with him by my hand. And you—insists on tying me to you?

"Who would want to be tied to you? All you bring is grief! Your existence is poison and I'll be cured when I die. When I'm finally free from you—and your so-called bonds!

"You want to save me? Who said I need to be saved? You foolishly think you can even save anyone when your 'bonds' only cause pain? Heh, you'll find a way? Oh, you will. You never give up because that's your nindo, na? Hah! Here's an idea. What if that source of pain disappears? How about if bonds never existed, eh? It wouldn't have hurt so much had I never known them from you. If I never met you—ah, but that's impossible, I wished for the past back when I knew nothing and the only thing I learned is wishes meant nothing. If you were gone—but you're too worthless to kill, not even worth a finger. Maybe if you ki—"

"That's enough." Naruto dropped his head, yellow glow fading from hands he had raised to cover the pale ears of the man now standing across him. A futile attempt to shield, a naive turn of protection.

"—ll yours—"

Stricken dark eyes watched lips part in a low murmur. "That's enough," Naruto repeated.

"—elf—"

"Sasuke—" Naruto looked up with tranquil blue eyes, stealing his breath away with their quiet acceptance, "That's enough."

His knees shook with the effort of standing before such kindness.

"You were right, y'know. I didn't understand before." Naruto shook his head with a rueful smile, a touch of regret cast upon his countenance. He drew his hands back and Sasuke caught them blindly, afraid to lose the nearness to distance, to time.

Their hands stilled beneath his jaw and he ignored his that were trembling.

"The only thing I could see was you, leaving. My rival, my friend. My brother." A deep intake of breath. "You had a goal and so did I, who was I to stop you? I've been shouting to the world that I'll be Hokage and everyone would acknowledge me and no one could stop me and—out of everyone, I should've... should've understood your goal. Even if I didn't agree with it... I had no right to tell you to—forget your revenge and come home with me and—I'm sorry, Sasuke, so sorry—"

Vindication, unexpected, slid down his throat like ten year-old wine. The aftertaste was bittersweet but it was such a relief to drink—unwanted but needed, like salt behind his eyes, like the crushing grievous joy of being understood, being found, after crying out in the darkness for so long, so desperately.

"I should've reached out more." Naruto twisted his hands, enclosing the pale digits into his own and dropping their joined hands between them. "Talked a little less. Listened a little more. Maybe I could've helped you. Maybe understood you better. It hurt so much to see you alone... I should've been there for you but I felt so stupid, you're so cool and quiet, you're everything I'm not... And look at me, still assuming you left because you won and I lost that fight, at the falls." He gave quiet airy huffs of self-deprecation before turning somber once more, "You needed to leave. Needed to do it. Me... I just wanted you to stay and continue being rivals, friends. It was—such a childish want. But—we were still kids, remember? Ninja, but still kids. But then again—we were never really kids, weren't we?"

Sasuke first died when he was a child. In the deepest of his heart, he knew a part of him would never stop grieving for his loss.

"When Jiraiya was killed... I thought I understand. When I learned the truth about Itachi... I thought I understand. He entrusted you to me, y'know? He thought I'll understand you, do what's right for Konoha, for you. But that day—" Naruto smiled a gentle smile, a world of sadness in its slope, "—that day, I learned I didn't. I only got a little, after all. Who am I, huh? Who am I to—to claim to understand what you went through, what you're going through? I was too sure of myself. Maybe if I wasn't I'd have tried harder to understand you, and maybe found a way to make sure you didn't—didn't go too far into the darkness. I was so—presumptuous."

The humored little notes—bashful and pure—were staccato beats of kunai to Sasuke's heart. "Heh. Presumptuous. Yeah, I know a big word, and that word showed how little I am in the end but I—can't let you go like that. I have to do something." A deceptively casual shrug, as if Naruto wasn't balancing the burden of his world on a tired back. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I just—don't want to be alone, a pathetic orphan and loser who'd always latch on to you... But I wanted to understand you, I needed to understand you—" His voice fluctuated in pitch—rising in earnestness, falling in empathy, "And it's not possible, I know, there would always be things about you I'd never ever get but I'm okay with it as long as you are. Because you deserve it, teme. Out of everyone in the world, you deserve to be okay..."

Okay. Naruto said—he deserved to be okay—

Never had that word burned a line to Sasuke's eyes.

"And yeah, being alone can be sad," Naruto confessed, almost whispered, as if he was sharing a secret too vulnerable for human ears, "I've made ties with a lot of people but I... still feel alone sometimes. Because... because you're not there. It's—lonely. But... Sasuke, see... there's something worse than that. It's knowing you are and I—can't stand it. Just thinking about it... It hurts so much."

Naruto's fists tightened, before abruptly loosening his hold and looking away. Sasuke felt his heart stop in his chest, his own hands falling. "You're my closest friend. Because of you, I worked hard to become stronger. To be your equal. To be—to be enough to bring you home. I wanted to fight you but you—you didn't want to fight anymore..."

Unnaturally wide, dark eyes watched pale lips pull in a taut line, pursing as if to hold back more than words and sounds. Fierce blue eyes clashed into his and Sasuke felt more than heard himself gasp. "You've suffered enough. And I promised—I promised it would end."

"Listen, I promise, you'll be okay, okay? Everything will be okay, everything will be like new, and you'll get the life you deserve, what you're supposed to have, you'll forget everything that made it worse—your chains, your shackles, the ties that held you back and this bond—this bond I forced on you, you'll forget it and-and-and you'll be free, I'm finally setting you free like you've always wanted, I'm sorry it took me so long, I'm sorry, I'm sorry—"

"Even if I have to lose you."

"You'll forget me and—and live—"

"And I won't regret a damned thing, Sasuke. And I don't."

"—You can finally live for yourself, Sasuke..."

Sasuke's fist flew up and punched Naruto on the face.

"How could you," he uttered calmly as Naruto turned back to him, blue glazed with confusion, dashes of little hurts peeking through like sunlight through clouds, "believe that shit."

"... Sasuke?"

The same words in their dream came out smooth and clear, demanding in its quietude, its ringing certainty, "Since when do you listen to me."

Naruto froze, reminded of the same, before dropping his head as if to hide his response. Sasuke raised a hand, having none of it, lifting Naruto's chin and unconsciously wiping the blood from the busted mouth with his thumb. The downward tilt of Naruto's lips parted with a soft intake of breath, the action slowing his own breathing. Raising his own heart rate. "Since when, Naruto?" he repeated almost silently. "If you were really listening, you'd have heard me."

(Stop!)

He took a deep breath and it all made sense. And it all hurt more. "What you have sealed—is our bond, isn't it?" Sasuke's hand nearly trembled as it slid up to a scarred cheek, and a part of him inwardly reveled at being allowed to touch Naruto like this, tried to sift through his memories if he had done this before—his heart thrummed at the base of his throat as memories in his recent past surged within him instead, words from someone a little like him he shared a mutual dislike with—

"Naruto taught me about bonds, Uchiha. The bond we have is the reason I am alive."

At Ichiraku, listening about Naruto and most important treasures—

"If I value a painting of you that much, a person would certainly value the memory of his precious bond enough to even hide it somewhere in his heart."

By the training grounds, asking because sometimes, Sasuke needed to ask—

"What did you forget?"

"My brother, and the bond we used to have."

Naruto's own voice, unfurled from a recording scroll—

"I really don't care what they say, he's the bond I've been waiting for. Even if he acts like he doesn't care, even if it hurts more than thinking that he hates me. Even if he rams all the Chidori he could pop up inside my chest, or stick his stupid sword behind my back, or lord over all his cool new fucking jutsu. Even if tries to kill me, as long as he's nowhere near my heart, I know he doesn't mean a fuck of it. I know he still feels it."

And he remembered his first clear sight of his old sensei in ten years—"I bet he has big fat lips. Whatcha think, teme?"—why something within him strained, struggled against chains not known to him, remembered long-buried exasperation, grudging admiration while running all over the village looking for Naruto with Kakashi—

"I haven't been your sensei in years, that time's over. Regardless—Welcome back."

And he remembered his first clear sight of his old teammate—"Yarou! You're such a pri—Itai!—But Sakura-chan!"—why something within him forced another crack on a gate he knew not of, remembered long-hidden impatience, reluctant caring while standing by the bridge waiting for Naruto with Sakura—

"It's been years since you said that, and I never imagined I'd say this but—I missed you."

—and Sasuke finally, finally understood.

"And I... didn't just forget our bond, Naruto—I forgot every bond I ever had." His thumb lingered on a scarred cheek one last time before his hand dropped back to his side. He clenched his fists to stave off the tremor manifesting from inside him. It felt like lightning was close to shooting out of his skin. "Big or small, it didn't matter. Outside of my family, every connection I made, they existed with you. The bond I had with my family—became more precious to me as well with you. Even my bond with the village, it was because of you..."

Now Sasuke understood how Sai had known. Kakashi. Sakura.

Sealing memories of his bond had altered him that much after all.

"You weren't empty—suddenly you were nothing, never filled at all.

"You became who I was after my brother died. Who I was before Naruto-kun became a part of my life.

"You became who I was when I forgot."

"I destroyed these bonds to get stronger in the past, believing they make me weak." Sasuke stared at his hand that held the warmth of Naruto's skin. He was reminded of an afternoon of pure impulsive wants, of trailing his fingers up a silky broze cheek, of tucking unruly yellow locks behind a fragile shell of ear. It felt so distant, now, that beautiful golden day. Almost like a dream.

"But—"

His own past felt like a dream.

"I was wrong."

A long, bad dream he had willingly closed his eyes for.

"And this—" he gestured to the grass, the dock, the tree, the sky—the red eye floating in a nightmare's sun—with his hand betraying him like a fading heartbeat, "—happened."

Like last unconscious thoughts.

(If only Naruto had cared less)

Like final wishes.

(If only Sasuke had cared more)

Like the hand of a dead man that drove a sword through a faithful friend's back—

And laughed.