Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Just this storyline.
This is hilarious – absolutely hysterically funny. Search for A Very Potter Musical on and watch them all up to Act 2 part 9 I believe… there may be more. This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Enjoy!
"Hey Ginny! Come party with us in the ROR tonight, okay? Nine!" Pansy said as she practically ran past the redhead in the hallway outside of the Great Hall. Ginny shook her fist at Pansy's back.
"I'm not celebrating Slytherin's victory!"
"Then celebrate your amazing catch today!" said Blaise, also running past her; it was after dinner and apparently, they were off to get ready. She shook her head and laughed. Even though Slytherin beat her beloved team, many of them were her friends and she couldn't be angry. She trudged up to Gryffindor Tower and slipped inside.
Almost every Slytherin face was looking up at Pansy, Blaise, and Draco.
"We called you here to tell you something serious that you all should know about," Pansy started. "Not all of you are here; only the ones we know we can trust. I put up wards around Slytherin so that if someone needs to come back here, they suddenly remember another engagement. As you all know, Draco and I are to marry when we graduate. We have been working on befriending Potter and his lackeys so that we could get into their good graces and become spies for our lord. However, something came up and, well… we were thrown into a predicament. I am going to have a baby, and it is Draco's." There came a gasp from almost everyone in the common room. "But we will continue with our plan!" she said quickly. "We have spoken with the Dark Lord and he approves."
"Although the baby is Draco's and Pansy's," Blaise began, "since Pansy and I have been pretending to date and the rest of the school thinks we are a couple, we will let everyone else think that I am the father."
"Why not just say Malfoy is?" asked Lionel Bennet, a seventh year.
"Because Potter and his group trust me more than Draco," Blaise answered. "Well, all but Granger – she has a soft spot for Draco."
"Merlin only knows why," Draco sneered. "I hate having that stupid mudblood constantly hanging around me."
"I feel sorry for you," Blaise said with a grimmace. "Just glad it isn't me. Anyway, I have never been cruel to them as Draco has, and I have always kept to the background."
"So… you're pregnant? You're not lying?" Daphne Greengrass asked Pansy skeptically.
"Of course I'm not lying. Would you like to follow me to the hospital wing? I assure you, Madam Pomfrey can tell you the stats of my baby if I ask her to."
Daphne wisely shut her mouth but a wicked grin spread on her face and Pansy knew that this was the way to get the school to find out about her 'condition.'
"Anyway," said Draco, "that is all. Our orders were to tell the Slytherins who matter, and we have fulfilled that." He took Pansy's hand to reassure them of their 'relationship' and glanced at her for a second. "You are dismissed."
The large crowd dispersed and when they were gone, Pansy thought she was the only one left in the common room. Draco and Blaise had gone to Blaise's room but Pansy wanted to get out of Slytherin for a while. As she headed to the portrait hole, someone stopped her with a quiet voice.
"It isn't Draco's, really, is it?"
Pansy turned sadly to face Anne. "No," she whispered softly with remorse written in her eyes. She knew she could trust Anne with this information, as she was in the D.A. and definitely against Voldemort's reign. Anne smiled gently with a sad expression and turned to go.
"Just take care of him, yeah? He's one of a kind."
Pansy stared confused at Anne's back as the other girl disappeared down one of the corridors heading out of the circular common room. She sighed.
"I will," she whispered to no one.
When Ginny entered the Gryffindor common room from the stairs to the girls' dormitories, she was wearing casual jeans with black and white converses and a white tank top. Aurora followed her out, as she was going to the party, too.
"Still feelin' down?" the blonde asked. Her hair was pulled into low pigtails that fell over her shoulders and she was wearing denim shorts, black flip flops, and a red top with spaghetti straps. They both had their robes on, as it was cold in the castle, and cast warming charms on themselves.
"Eh… a little, but they deserve it."
Aurora smiled. "We're equally matched, now, you know. Slytherin and Gryffindor."
"Yeah, now, but up until this year, Slytherin wasn't as good."
"Oh believe me, I know. I heard all of Draco's frustrations throughout the years."
They chuckled and left the common room, bumping into Harry on the way. "Hi love," he said, kissing Aurora. Ginny smiled; she loved seeing Harry so happy.
"Hi," Aurora said breathlessly. No matter how many times Harry kissed her, she always felt the same after. She never got used to it, nor would she ever, which was how it should be.
"Where are you two off to?"
"We're going to the room of requirement," Ginny said. "The Slytherins are throwing a celebration…" She cut off her sentence at the look on Harry's face.
"You're going to their party?" he asked quietly.
"Harry, they invited me," she said calmly, "and Rora is their star player's sister. I know it's not 'just a game' but you can't let that get in the way of your friendships. Come with us."
"I don't really want to –"
"Come," Ginny said, more forceful this time. "You need to have fun after the loss we had." She took his hand and led him all the way to the room of requirement, which was laid out the same way it was for the Halloween party. They entered through the first room where they were checked, hung their robes, and let in. Through the second door was the party. Harry was quite surprised to find quite a few people from the other houses, including Hermione, Fred, and George. When asked what they were doing there, Fred and George responded with grins.
"So it's a Slytherin victory." – Fred.
"It's just another excuse for a party!" – George.
Harry shook his head and actually smiled. He had been feeling very badly about Gryffindor's loss, but took the twins' and Ginny's words to heart – he would have fun. He spotted Pansy about to sit at a table with Blaise and walked over; they had just finished dancing and were taking a break.
"Oh hi, Harry!" Pansy said happily. "Hey, look, I'm sorry about your loss… but I can't say I'm not happy!"
"It's alright," Harry said. "Ginny made a good point earlier – I shouldn't let quidditch get in the way of my friends."
"She's right," Blaise replied. "Smart girl, that GW."
"So… about that kiss?" Harry began. Pansy and Blaise glanced at each other, then back at Harry. "I thought it was going to be kept on the low. Not that I care."
"Well… it just kinda happened," said Blaise. "I was so happy. No offense, of course."
"Oh stop it. You're happy, I get it. I understand. Don't apologize every time you mention it," said Harry, grinning. "I know how it feels. Besides; we've beaten you many times."
Blaise and Pansy smirked at him.
"Don't let it get to your head, Potter. We'll start beating your lot, just you wait and see."
"Oh I'm not worried, Zabini. Not at all. Especially not with Ron and three of the best chasers in the history of Hogwarts on my team."
Blaise and Pansy scoffed, and Pansy playfully shoved Harry, who rubbed his shoulder and laughed. He felt very light-hearted; he was really glad that he could joke around with these two like this and not have anyone get angry or annoyed. It was all in good fun. He did notice a few other people at the table staring at the three like they were mad; Slytherins and a Gryffindor – the most famous one in the school, at that – conversing like friends and laughing together. But he didn't care. He loved it.
"Oh by the way, we told Slytherin," Blaise said as quietly as he could to Harry. "About you know what."
"So you passed it by Voldemort?" Blaise and Pansy nodded. "That's why he was so happy…" The two Slytherins looked confused. "Not too long ago, I was in the library with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione and my scar started searing – then I felt that he was really happy about something."
"Oh, yeah, that would've been it. We told him, and it was a success."
"That's great. You'll have to tell me later."
Blaise nodded and stood and turned to face Pansy. "Do you want anything? I'm going up to the bar. And you, Po - er, Harry?"
"No thanks," Harry said, smiling. Blaise was really trying. He knew how hard it was to call someone by a different name than what they had been using for a long time.
"Oh, sure, thank you, Blaise. I'd really like some margarita mix with crushed ice. But make sure Theo doesn't put alcohol in it!" Pansy said, pointing at him.
Blaise gave her a knowing look. "Do you really think I'd let him?"
She smiled at him and placed a protective hand on her stomach without realizing it. Harry smiled, too. He also noticed that the fifth year Ravenclaw girl sitting near Pansy was looking at her with a funny face.
Aurora came to pull Harry up to dance, so Pansy was left alone. The girl scooted over to her.
"Forgive me, but… is it true you're pregnant?" Pansy's eyes widened. "It's just that I overheard it from someone, and now I see you're not drinking alcohol when you always have at least one drink at every party…"
Well, that was one way to get it out. Pansy silently thanked Daphne Greengrass – the one and only time she would ever do so. She didn't want to have to tell people herself, and, little did Daphne know, the redhead was doing Pansy's and Blaise's dirty work.
"Yes, it's true."
"Havin' fun?" Ginny asked Harry when she walked up to him later that night. It was around eleven o'clock, and she needed a distraction. Draco had been giving her seductive looks for the past two hours, and it was driving her up a wall.
"Yes, actually."
"Oh good!"
"I'm glad you made me come," he said.
"Well hey, people always thank me for meddling," she said jokingly.
Harry smiled. "They should." Ginny looked surprised. "Especially Blaise and Pansy. Look at what happened for them because you meddled."
"Oh, yeah, they should really thank me for knocking them up."
"You know what I mean. Look at how happy they are."
Ginny looked over at them and her heart warmed. Blaise and Pansy were dancing to a slow song, holding each other tenderly and staring into the other's eyes. Both were smiling.
"That wasn't me. They just needed a little push."
"No, Ginny, it was. Without you, they would have gone through life never taking the chance to be with each other."
"Oh, Harry." She smiled. "Anyway, what's today's date?"
"March seventh."
"Oh! It's two days past Bill and Fleur's baby's due date! And a week before Pansy's birthday. Damn, we gotta plan something. I wonder if Draco and Blaise have anything planned already… I have to ask them."
"When's her birthday?"
"March fifteenth."
Ginny looked at Harry strangely; he looked funny – as if he was trying to stop himself from laughing. He covered his mouth with his hand, then; Draco was making funny faces behind her but as she turned around, he immediately stopped and looked serious.
"What?"
"You dunderhead! I saw that!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, Red."
Ginny lightly smacked his arm and he laughed as he scooted away from her. Harry couldn't help it; he smiled at them. They may or may not have realized it, but they were clearly in love with each other, and that thought scared Harry. Not because of their feelings, but because it didn't bother him at all.
"So, you heard me, then! What are we doing for Pansy's birthday?" Ginny finally asked.
"I was thinking a personal party, where only friends are invited as opposed to something like this or the Halloween one. You should ask Blaise what he's getting for her. I think you'd really like it." He smirked. "More like swoon until you toppled over like the hopeless romantic you are."
She hit him again and he jumped just out of her reach. "You're impossible! I do not do that! Get BACK here!"
"No hard feelings, yeah Potter?" he said as he danced out of Ginny's grabbing hands.
Harry knew he was talking about the quidditch match, and he found that he couldn't really be angry anymore. He shook his head as the blonde and Ginny dove out of sight into the crowd. He had been testing himself by thinking of the foul things the blonde used to do to him and his friends, but they no longer incensed him. Also, the fact that Malfoy said 'no hard feelings,' no matter how casually, meant a lot to Harry.
"OW!"
"Are you alright?"
Anne nodded while holding her finger in her mouth; she had just been pricked by the plant their herbology class was working on. Neville took her hand from her mouth and brought it towards him to look at it. He took out his wand and cast a minor healing charm on it and it healed right up.
"Does it still sting?" he asked.
She shrugged. "A little, yeah...but it's much better. Thank you, Neville."
Neville smiled. "It should sting a bit. Even the most powerful healing charm won't fully heal a sting from the thorns of the mirror rosebush. You'll have to wait it out."
"Oh, yes! Very good, Longbottom! Ten points for Gryffindor! And another ten for healing her finger, I suppose," said Professor Sprout. "Well I was going to tell you lot what these plants are, but Longbottom already has. They are mirror rosebushes. Can anyone tell me why they are called mirrors?" Neville raised his hand before Hermione's went up. "Yes, Longbottom?"
"They aren't really rosebushes," he responded. "They only look like roses because they needed to develop a way for them to catch food easily; they're carnivorous. They love bees. However, because they look like roses, animals that eat rosebushes will try to eat them so they developed stinging cells on their leaves and thorns. And, uh, Professor? Do you have the cream for Anne's finger?"
"Very good! Twenty points to Gryffindor and yes, I'll get it. I'll be back in a moment. Do not touch the plants, class, unless you have on your gloves." She then bustled over to the closet at the back of the main greenhouse.
"I feel like an idiot," Anne mumbled. "I shouldn't have touched it."
"You're not an idiot," Neville countered. "I was going to warn you but you touched it before I could. Anyway, I saw many of the others about to touch them when Professor Sprout walked in."
Anne smiled. She thought it was sweet of him to try to make her feel less stupid.
"They're getting along quite well, don't you think?" Pansy asked Blaise. They were sitting on the other side of the table.
"Huh? Who?"
"Anne and Neville. They always work together in the D.A., too."
"Oh, yeah. I'm glad. Maybe they'll get hitched, or something."
"Well I rather hitched than 'or something.' I really do hope he can gather up the courage he's supposed to have – being in Gryffindor, you'd think he'd have it – and ask her out," she said in a low voice.
"Do you think we should give it a push?" Blaise asked her.
"No… maybe I can say a word or two about how nice Neville is and how lonely he looks, but no, no pushes. I think they both need to do this slowly. Especially Anne."
"Yeah…" Blaise looked really down, so Pansy placed her hand on his.
"Hey," she said gently, "she looks happy."
This got the reaction Pansy was hoping for – a smile from him. "Thanks, Pans."
She squeezed his hand, then let go when Professor Sprout walked back up to the front of the room to give Anne the salve.
Sorry it took so long! I hope you enjoyed it!