Again With The Kitties
By: I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
We get it. You have cats. You also have a clear obsession with cats. Among other very loudly repeatedly announced things.

AGAIN WITH THE KITTIES

Batlampgirl wandered aimlessly, mindlessly, without purpose. She shrugged and decided to look around for thugs to fight. The only person who existed in Gotham besides herself was not too suspiciously, The Weeper.

"I hate that guy," she muttered. "But also for some sickening reason, I find myself violently attracted to him. I don't know why."

It's because you're a soulless fanfiction puppet, silly. Bound to the disgusting whims of an enraged Suethor who can't create inventive Mary Sues or write canon characters in character but loves to whine about these being a plague on fandom which consistently spawns from everyone else but them.

"Wow. Even I can see that is some massive lack of self-awareness, and I have no functional brain cells in this universe," said Batgirl.

Batgirl tripped on a kitty.

"ADORABLE KITTEH!" she screamed, grabbing the hissing, spitting animal by the tail. It struggled and attempted to claw her stupidly smiling face. She held it securely. "You'll be my new friend forever. FOR-EV-UR!"

On cue, the Weeper appeared in front of her in a puff of smoke.

"Damn, did you see that?" he asked. "I have teleportation powers."

"Look! I have a kitteh," Batgirl said in a childish voice. She shoved the kitten at him.

"It's ADORABLE!" He ran over to her. "Let me pet it?" the Weeper urged.

Batgirl held the kitten away from him, acting possessive and selfish, the only way of life she knew. "No! My kitteh. It only loves me!" The kitten continued to yowl and scratch at its harasser. "See how much it loves me?"

The Weeper burst into hysterical sobs. "I WANT TO PET THE KITTEH!"

"MY KITTEH!" Batgirl screamed.

They both bawled at each other for an hour before Batgirl kicked the Weeper, kicking being the only move she knew how to do. What is with spergs and kicking? Is it because they know they severely lack upper body musculature? Is it because all their weight is collected in the hindquarters and this gives them the only real balance while standing, meaning to risk a punch would mean to topple? Who knows.

"I love kittehs!" Batgirl declared.

Kittens began to rain from the sky.

The moral of this story is...kitties.

That's it.

"What about underwear?" Weeper asked woozily as he raised up his head.

"NO!" Batgirl screamed, and threw an enraged kitten at his face.

He shrieked and screamed and sobbed as the kitty began to shred his face meat, eventually dropping his pants and stumbling around in his underwear. Ha ha, public underwear based humiliation as a source of comedy.

"Not so secretly, I get off to it," Batgirl laughed before she tilted her head back and orgasmed.

In reality, all she did was push out a fart. But since she had failed Sex Ed, she couldn't tell the difference.

"OOOOH MYYYY GOOOOOD," Batgirl screamed, vibrating with presumed orgasmic force, off into the moonlit night.

THE END