I decided to be exceptionally efficient and post a chapter a little earlier than intended. Just cause I can. Hope ya enjoy.
It was a strange moment. The moment Naruto stepped onto the crowded streets of Suna and saw Gaara standing there waiting for him, it felt unworldly. Seeing him there, in the reach of his hold, it turned the world on its head. He was happy, yet still feared it was but a dream, dreaded he'd wake up to find himself alone again. He looked like a dream. Everything did, from the orange sky to the dusty roads and alleys too dark to lead anywhere. If only a dream, he never wanted to wake up again.
Gaara watched him descend the few steps, slowly make his way over and then stop to gaze at him from a disappointing distance away. The gap between them signified disbelief, the observant stares told of hope. They stood there in silence, watching one another in midst of deadbeat life. Now that the initial shock of all things unlikely had faded, only confusion and questions remained. The dubiety wouldn't budge, but neither did it overwhelm. The urge to dismiss their surroundings and make the miserable six months apart count, that did. It was different second time around. Better, in a way. More secure.
"I missed you. I missed you so fuckin' much."
For a whisper dropped between soft and clumsy kisses, it was loud with its sincerity, and echoed just as strong.
"I missed you too."
Gaara smiled and let his forehead rest against the blonde's. A disbelieving huff fell from his parted lips. At times life still surprised him.
"Never thought I'd find home in this city again."
Whether or not the redhead had intended on letting the words slip, Naruto never asked. Fingers brushing against cold skin, he tilted his head to lean in and taste the ghost of a smile still on the man's lips. He felt as strange as he did happy. His hairs stood on end, fingertips tingled and heart skipped every other beat. Life felt unreal, the air too thin to fill his lungs. Even with his eyes closed he could see the redhead down to the smallest detail. The months of feeling especially lonely had overworked his imagination a breath away from perfection. If only to be sure, he inched away and opened his eyes. Gaara didn't question his keen gaze, didn't ask about the frown or the smirk, nor wondered aloud what the man thought of. He might've been told, hadn't the blonde's phone then rung and brought their while halted in time to an end.
"Fuck", Naruto grunted, took out his phone and answered. "What?"
Short silence replied. "What's with the tone, fuckface?"
He scowled, but kept the insults to himself. "Nothin'. What's up?"
Sasuke sighed, "You done yet?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Done. Meet me where I left your sorry ass. Now."
Biting the inside of his cheek, Naruto stifled his annoyance. "Hn. See you in five."
He then hung up, put the phone away and took a deep breath. Gaara gazed at him with eyes both curious and disgruntled. He didn't have to ask to know who'd called. Naruto hated to prove him right.
"C'mon. He's waitin' ", he grunted, as sorry as he was annoyed.
The redhead couldn't have looked less enthusiastic. And though he didn't voice his reluctance, the stiff nod was a comment on its own. As tempting as dragging out the inevitable sounded, they began making their way down the crowded street. Naruto noticed that despite the crowd growing denser, their path was clear. People stepped aside, masses parted to make way. He shouldn't have, but let it surprise. It was difficult not to turn and take a subtle look at the man clearing the road with his mere presence. Gaara never returned the look, but when Naruto tore his away, he felt the man's hand brush against his. Smothering a smirk too pleased for its own good, he took it into his own. Cold fingers entwined with warm ones. It felt good. It felt like home.
Their walk was silent. Comfortable, but silent. It wasn't that there was nothing to be said. There were many things left unsaid, so much to tell, but none for others to hear. A stone's throw away from their destination, Naruto spotted Sasuke exactly where he'd promised he'd be. Knowing the man was yet to see them, he let the hand in his go. Gaara stopped walking, he didn't. He was too ashamed to meet the stare he knew watched him go. By the time he'd reached his friend, Gaara had overcome his bitterness and followed. When Sasuke finally turned to look their way, mouth opening to spit out impatient insults, they were close enough to hear the words get stuck in his throat. Lips parted and dark eyes glued to the redhead, Sasuke stood still and rigid. Naruto did what his friend failed to and broke the silence.
"Look what I found."
The way he said it told far more than it'd intended. He'd aimed for devil-may-care but ended up at the border of relieved and pathetic, just an inch from cracking his voice. Sasuke said nothing, perhaps never even heard him. The shock in his eyes dulled, but stare didn't budge. The look was returned, but with undertones of anger and resentment. A silent dialogue took place between them. It was a promise on Gaara's end, acceptance on Sasuke's. The moment passed, Sasuke's surprise crumbled into relief and the universe restored its balance. A shaky breath falling from his open mouth, Sasuke dropped down to crouch, hands draping over his face. He chuckled, the sound dry and bitter, yet so at ease. He dropped his hands to lay an askance look at the redhead.
"Never, fuckin' never leave again."
Gaara frowned, but said nothing. He knew words rarely were expected of him.
Sasuke shook his head. "I don't know how much longer I could've put up with his shit. Don't you ever fuckin' leave again."
Whether his repetitive demands came across as stern or pitiful, he didn't know nor cared. He turned to see Naruto instead, making a silent note of the shame in his blue eyes. He hadn't naively assumed the man would have the decency to show humility, but was openly pleased to see it. It'd been a silent secret between them, the unfair status quo. Naruto had burdened his friend with his baggage, Sasuke had succumbed to his fate and carried it, never complaining. Naruto felt bad for it. He had, for all the miserable months. Like the coward he was, only now when his reasons to mistreat his friend were no more was he able to apologize. Wordlessly he extended his hand to pull the man up, paused to offer a sorry look and coerced him into a hug he hadn't asked for. A few rigid and reluctant seconds later, the hold was returned. Naruto shut his eyes and swallowed the knot stuck in his throat. He knew he didn't deserve Sasuke's forgiveness, yet was selfish enough to thank the heavens for the man's soft spot for him.
The moment was brief, but no less important. They pulled apart, exchanged stiff nods and allowed the respective shame and resentment go. The tension between them was gone. Eager to put the whole hell behind, Sasuke glanced at the redhead and studied him with curious eyes. His eventual notion served no real purpose.
"Russia, huh? Sure fucked up your face."
Gaara could've taken offense to it, but didn't find the man worth the effort.
"No shit."
Flashing a smirk too pleased for its own good, Sasuke's attention abandoned the redhead and fixated on the blonde instead. He scowled, disappointed in advance.
"You didn't kill the cunt, did ya."
Not a question, but a disenchanted assumption. Naruto sighed, "No. Ain't into startin' a war. Besides, shit got in the way."
Sasuke couldn't have looked less impressed. "What shit?"
"Variables", he sidetracked, sending an awkward glance the redhead's way who looked no happier than his casual rival.
"The waste of space?" he assumed, confident no corrective was necessary. "Told ya, should've shot him."
Naruto opposed, as expected. "Dude, the guy's your brother."
Gaara scowled. "So?"
Sasuke almost didn't say anything, but was too curious not to. "Brother?"
Naruto nodded, while Gaara looked like he wanted to aggressively protest against biological facts. Sasuke paused to gaze at the man with skepticism, wondering how the alleged brothers could've possibly been related. Though their personalities were equally as unlikable, they looked nothing alike. Not that he really cared beyond healthy fascination. It didn't include shock.
"Figures."
His spiteful comment went ignored. He didn't mind, and carried on.
"You got what you wanted?" he asked his blonde friend who by then had grown restless. The way he always did after the five minute mark of passive loitering.
"Yeah, an address. Can we fuckin' go now? I wanna get rid of this dead sack of shit."
All three glanced down at the dead body Gaara had thrown on the dirty ground. How they'd go about disposing of it, none of them knew yet, but did recognize it was the least of their worries, as Sasuke pointed out.
"And the guns? Shit's gon' get us arrested downtown."
Again, all three glanced at the small pile of arms on the ground. Not excessive, but too many to conceal on one's body and therefore too high profile. Frowning, Gaara glanced around looking for something to make use of. He wasn't short on options. Given the alarming rate of homelessness, many carried the little they had in bags, bins, baskets, even shopping carts. Whatever they could get their hands on. To his right he spotted a young man sitting on the filthy ground. The boy didn't interest him, but the wooden chest at his feet did. Wordlessly, he abandoned his spot, walked the distance and stopped to tower above the guy. It took the young man a few seconds to realize he was being watched from above, another two to glance up and one more to recognize the watcher. When he did, it showed from head to toes. Knowing the guy would attempt to make a run for it, Gaara didn't waste time to state his business.
"That. I need it", he grunted, nodding towards the chest.
The boy looked confused. He slowly turned to look at the chest, slowly turned back and went on to stare in silence. Whether dumb or scared beyond rational thought, he did nothing, said nothing. Quick to grow impatient, the redhead drew his gun, cocked it to show honest intention to harm and laid a cold look on the poor boy.
"There's two ways to do this", he stated, very matter of fact.
Unsurprisingly, the guy was quick to comply. Whispering quiet prayers, he rushed to empty the chest, kicked it closer to the man yet to lower his aim and backed away. Pleased enough, Gaara put the weapon away, hauled the heavy chest onto his shoulder and turned to leave. Two steps in, he caught the disapproving glare directed his way. Naruto shook his head, clearly demanding for something or other. Rolling his eyes, Gaara sighed and turned around, making his way back to the trembling boy. He cowered. Assuming his days were numbered, he was beyond shocked to see the redhead search his pockets for cash and offer scraps of it as compensation.
"Buy somethin' to put your sorry shit in. Or overdose. I don't give a fuck."
A hesitant, shaky hand came forward, withdrew when only inches away, but eventually took the money offered. A look as scared as it was grateful sent the redhead on his way. This time, Naruto was pleased enough to flash a smile. Gaara shook his head. He would never understand the blonde's love for good deeds every here and there, but supposed no harm could come from humoring him.
"Throw 'em in."
Nodding, they stacked the guns inside, unpacked both of their bags on top of them and closed the lid. Gaara took it upon himself to carry the heavy chest, Sasuke the dead body, and Naruto nothing but himself. He deemed it fair after dragging the corpse around the town for miles.
It wasn't much later when they'd disposed of the body and wandered their way to the city. It felt inexplicably refreshing to be back among civilization. Even the polluted air beat the smell of disease and death they'd left behind. After miles of walking, Naruto was tired and Sasuke hungry. Gaara, perfectly fine and dandy. When he finally did demand Sasuke to carry the chest in the name of fairness, it wasn't due to fatigue. He fell a few steps behind to walk with the exhausted blonde, leaving Sasuke in the lead. Naruto didn't mind the arm draping around his shoulders, pulling him close, though did fear Sasuke might notice and Gaara finally ask why he shouldn't. Neither happened, allowing him to relax. Both were discussions he didn't want to have in the middle of a busy street.
"You okay?" Gaara asked, glancing at the wound on the blonde's chest.
"Yeah", Naruto assured. "Hurts like a bitch, but I'm fine."
Scowling, the redhead grunted and briefly pressed his lips against the blonde's neck. It tickled, in a good way.
"Should've shot him", he claimed yet again.
Short silence followed. Naruto hesitated to voice his opinion. Though he was entitled to one, he wasn't sure how it'd be received.
"Y'know...You shouldn't say that", he muttered, gaze glued to the ground afraid to wander anywhere else. "At least you still got family. Makin' 'em extinct ain't gon' make it better."
Again, silence followed, but this time it terrified. The longer it continued, the more certain Naruto was he'd crossed a line he had no right to even be near. Gaara replied, eventually.
"Family ain't a blessin' to all, angel."
He was right, and Naruto felt ashamed to have argued. He could've allowed yet another silence to fall, but didn't want to idle their time on something as wasteful. Instead he chuckled.
"If it's any consolation, I nailed his hand to a table."
Gaara tried not to, but ended up smirking. "It does."
Happy to have heard the redhead reach towards amusement, Naruto let his attention wander elsewhere. They'd reached the train station, he noticed. Too curious not to, he glanced across the street. The cop still standing by the station, taking speed readings and rocking the mustache as advised, was a reason to flash a crooked smirk. Without a word, he left his spot beside the redhead and left two confused men behind. Sasuke was the only one to figure out his intentions.
"Fuck me", he grunted, stirring confusion, but no questions. "C'mon. We gotta stop his stupid from spreadin'."
Dubious but curious, Gaara followed the man across the street and towards a sight he declared terrible enough to give a little boost to his usually slow and heavy gait. By the time they made it there, the cop had already turned to greet the grinning blonde.
"Well, well. If it ain't badass blondie", huffed the officer, lifting his glasses to rest them on top of his head.
"Officer Mustache", acknowledged Naruto, yet to drop his self-assured grin. Sasuke saved the slap building up.
As before, the cop panned the blonde up and down.
"That don't look good, son", he commented, pointing at the nasty gash on Naruto's chest.
He glanced down and shrugged. "I'll live."
The officer hummed, looking curious. Nosy, even. "What's the story?"
Naruto narrowed his eyes pondering whether or not to come up with one. Before he could decide, Gaara answered in his behalf. His arm found its way around the blonde—a notorious promise of socially unacceptable remarks.
"I like to play rough."
If his plan had been to make Naruto drop his stupid smirk, it was a success. While Gaara grinned from ear to ear, Sasuke shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd come to assume the redhead's preferred pastime, second only to macabre massacres, was to stir widespread embarrassment through less than subtle double entendres. The officer looked every bit as uncomfortable as the rest of them.
"I regret asking", he mumbled, quick to change the subject. "How 'bout you tell your...friend to put down that chest. Let's have a look inside."
Still mortified and eager to move on, Naruto nudged the redhead to do as told. Though compliance wasn't the wisest move, none of them felt particularly worried. The officer had no legal right to rummage through its contents. Obedient, Gaara laid the chest on the ground and opened the lid. The old, rusty hinges creaked to reveal a mess of clothes and other clutter of no real interest. The officer joined Gaara on ground-level and exchanged quick looks with him before turning to gaze at the chest's contents. Judging by the frown, they disappointed. Nervous the man would take his chances and go through them without a court approval, Naruto pointed out his rights.
"Don't go touchin'. You need a warrant for that", he reminded, pulling a smirk. The officer huffed.
"And what makes you qualified to assume such?" he asked, openly condescending.
Naruto shrugged. "I'm a defense attorney. I know my shit."
The cop guffawed. "Ah, of course. And the planet's square."
Blue eyes narrowed, their owner adamant to one-up. "Constitutional law, article 35, section two; 'Each search or seizure shall be made upon a separate warrant issued by a competent judicial officer.' You ain't one, old man."
The officer stared at him for his while, scowled, grunted and slammed the chest shut. The man's obvious disappointment was a true treat.
"You ain't all right", he mumbled and stood up. "But you sure are a sneaky one, I'll give you that."
Apart from an arrogant smile, Naruto didn't push his luck over the edge it already dangled on. Sighing, the officer shook his head and acknowledged the ugly wound anew.
"Go take care of that, boy. It ain't pretty."
"I'll handle myself, Mustache. Have fun catchin' real criminals", the blonde chuckled. He was endowed yet another head shake, this time less judgmental and more amused.
"Get out of here before I find something to take you in for."
Perfectly happy to do as advised, Naruto endowed the man a sarcastic salute and left, two unimpressed men lagging behind. They exchanged looks, neither one bothering to point out the obvious—their blonde suffered from terminal stupidity.
Another fifteen minutes of walking later, they found themselves strolling down the main street, shops, bars and restaurants inviting them in from all sides, but none successfully. Sasuke was adamant to find one that wasn't packed full, if only to be served food before he'd starve, while the other two would've settled for any old place to sit down at. When they finally came by a place empty enough, Sasuke rushed in first, Naruto second and Gaara last, weighed down by the heavy load of weaponry resting on his shoulder. Frankly, he was beginning to grow tired, even if he was too proud to admit it.
Once inside, Sasuke was hasty to be served and Gaara quick to shove Naruto in the direction of the restroom. His questions went unheard and objections ignored. Finding himself inside and watching the redhead from the crack of the ajar door, he waited for an explanation.
"Take care of it. And put on a shirt", demanded Gaara, glancing down at the blonde's wound.
Naruto said nothing, only stared. The redhead arched a brow questioning what could possibly have been unclear about the instructions given. He wondered if the blue eyes narrowing was something to worry over. Naruto took a quick glance over Gaara's shoulder at the friend sitting by a table across the room before turning back with a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips.
"Wanna help me out?"
The look on Gaara's face was one worth seeing. It was a blend of surprise and confusion, contemplation over how to interpret the sudden invite. As the redhead seemed unable to decide, Naruto chose in his behalf, pulled him inside and locked the door. Finding himself stuck between the door and a grinning man full of suspicious ideas, Gaara wasn't sure what was expected of him. Nervous of choosing wrong, he made no decisions at all. The face intrusively close to his wasn't shy to gloat.
"Hm?"
Though only an utter, it held high expectations. Gaara wasn't sure why he felt nervous, or even what for, but took a stab in the dark and helped the blonde out of his jacket. The gaze on him wasn't one he could've refused, or wanted to at that, but it did make the situation a lot less about treating a wound and way more about wishful thinking. His dirty mind must've come through in his locked eyes, if the pleased smirk was anything to derive from. Once the man was only half as dressed as before, his fixed gaze turned into a wandering one. He felt stupid.
Fuck. I forgot how fuckin' fine you are.
Determined not to act as dumb as he felt, he coughed his throat clear and ignored the amused look its awkward tone earned. Given the limited options of medical supplies in public restrooms, and the lack of even supplies they should've had, he reached to his right and turned on the closest tap. With nothing but his hand and warm water, he did his best to wash away the dried blood covering the blonde's chest and stomach. He made a discovery—there were very few things as frustrating as watching water drip over abs he would've paid to lick, bloody or not, and regretted ever glancing down to have his imagination run haywire. While he liked to think of himself as a fairly composed man, he'd forgotten how many of his traits turned to shit when a spitting distance away from the blonde.
With a mindful of indecent ideas, he wiped clean the stubborn stains of blood, never realizing how his touch slowly lost its helpful intention and grew curious instead. The uninvited lips suddenly brushing against his woke him from one distracting dimension to another. From an inch away, just far enough for it to feel unfair, the blonde's parted lips flashed a smirk, perfectly aware of what they were capable of even when still. Without looking away, Gaara blindly reached out to turn off the water. It became quiet enough for them to hear each other breathe. The parted lips touched his again. Didn't quite brush, but neither press against his. Something frustrating in between.
Like an idiot, he only waited for them to return. They did, and as he lacked all initiative by and large, the fingertips yet to leave the unfairly, insufferably wet chest were advised to find their way around. They were eager, yet thorough, to remind themselves of all the little details they came across. He was happy to find familiar ones, curious about new ones. Desperate for all of them. The mouth that left his wasn't missed when it traveled down the length of his neck. The fingers in his hair spread shivers, the heavy breaths matching ones. The tease the blonde was from head to toes balanced between unreal and unfair. And the knees that hit the floor, those converted him into a man of faith for the while they stayed down.
Sasuke sat by the table, fingers tapping against an empty glass, eyes wandering around the room the way they had for twenty long minutes by then. In that while he'd had his dinner and drank two full steins of beer, still the two men were yet to return. Upon pushing the thirty minute mark, their absence went from strange to ridiculous. Just as he was beginning to fear he'd have to get up and check on them, the door he'd thrown daggers at finally opened. Only Naruto stepped out. It was worth a frown, but no words. The dumb look plastered across his tan face, on the other hand, was worth several.
"The fuck's with the grin?" he grunted as his friend claimed the opposite seat.
Naruto stretched his jaws, as subtly as one could. "What? Can't a guy be happy?"
Sasuke's dark eyes narrowed. "We ain't happy."
The blonde shrugged. "Play pretend never killed nobody."
Likely not true, but it would've been a pointless argument to have. "Whatever. Where's the lunatic?"
"Dunno. Stayed behind."
Naruto felt the long-lasting stare Sasuke laid on him and skillfully ignored it. The man was quick to grow bored of life as thin air.
"So what now?" he asked. The change of subject gave Naruto a reason to stop picking at his cuticles and face his friend.
"We got an address."
"That's where we'll find the guy?" Sasuke questioned, justly doubtful. Naruto shrugged and shook his head.
"Best we got."
Supposing the man right, Sasuke didn't argue. The sound of a door opening grabbed his interest. Both he and Naruto turned to witness the redhead drag himself back into public. While Sasuke raised a questioning brow, Naruto struggled to stifle an outrageous burst of laughter. Gaara looked a seizure away from brain-dead. His eyes stared blankly ahead, hair a mess and footing about as reliable as a blind driver. There might've been a train of thought on the move, but it certainly wasn't detectable on the outside. After a while of still staring into distant nothingness, the man shook his head and walked over. There he took a seat only for his brain to leave the room anew. Sasuke waved a hand in front of his face.
"Yo. Did you have a stroke?" he asked, pulling Gaara out of his faraway land somewhere over the rainbow.
"Huh?"
Sasuke frowned deeper. "I asked, did you have a stroke?"
Gaara smothered a snort. "That's one way to put it."
Though barely an incomprehensible mumble, it still earned him a subtle kick under the table. Smothering a smirk, he pushed his luck by laying a hand on the leg that'd likely bruised his. Naruto couldn't bother slapping it away.
"I tried", grunted Sasuke, not having heard the redhead's quiet mumble. "Can we go now? I'm fuckin' tired."
There was a thin line between Sasuke feeling tired and throwing a tantrum. To avoid one, Naruto nodded.
"Yeah. Let's go find a hotel."
Already on his feet, Sasuke rushed to grab their chest of illegalities and marched to the exit, taking his forthcoming tantrum along. Watching him go, Naruto sighed and pulled himself up. Gaara caught up with him by the door, grabbed his arm and trapped him in the corner to the left. With narrow eyes he gazed at the blonde from an intrusive distance away. Naruto raised a brow, but didn't ask. The redhead's tone of voice brushed against dissatisfaction, which surprised given the context.
"You swallowed."
Naruto snorted, "And that's bad because...?"
"Cause you don't." It was an indirect accusation, followed by an upfront one. "When the cat's away, somebody else's dick's down your throat, huh?"
Though a rude assumption, Naruto took no offense. He could've corrected him, but in the name of pettiness, didn't. He turned the intrusive distance into a nominal one and made sure to double the redhead's annoyance.
"If you say so."
Watching the man's face fall was hilarious even after he'd walked away and left Gaara to think up a list of rivals he'd name and hunt down. He hadn't realized how he'd missed taking the piss out of him.
Roughly twenty minutes of walking the streets later, Sasuke finally spotted a hotel starred high enough to fit his outrageous standards for a place to sleep at. For a middle-class working guy, he sure was dainty. While Naruto would've happily crashed on an overpriced bed as soon as possible, he still had to drop by a store. Nicotine being an essential entirely unnecessary for all three, it wasn't a trip he was willing to skip no matter how tired. Spotting a 24-hour corner store across the street, he advised the other two to follow his lead and pay a visit inside. When already one foot inside the store, Naruto noticed his companions stay behind. His question was answered before he had the chance to ask.
"You go ahead, we'll be right behind ya", Sasuke encouraged with a small smile on his lips. It didn't fit the rest of his face.
Seeing the blonde's doubt, Gaara chimed in with handpicked phrasing. "It's fine. We just got some...talkin' to do."
Though Sasuke's tense shoulders claimed otherwise, he backed the redhead up. "Go. We ain't got all night. Get me a pack too, eh?"
Naruto said nothing, only stared and pondered whether or not to trust their judgment. Realizing he was too tired to start an argument, he let his doubt go and entered the store. As soon as he disappeared from view, Sasuke felt his back hit the wall behind him, a tight grip clenching the front of his shirt. He'd forgotten what a persuasive reason for distress the redhead's angry eyes were, yet they still paled in comparison to the blade pressed against his throat.
"You got ten seconds. Waste 'em and I'll cut your throat open", Gaara growled from invasive inches away.
Sasuke could've and should've felt fear, but didn't. Anxiety, yes, but not fear, knowing the man wouldn't have the balls to hurt him. Not when Naruto was the involuntary boss of his violent nature.
"If you think I can fit months of hell into ten seconds, you're fuckin' delusional."
The redhead didn't seem to care for the valid points. The knife threatening his throat pushed down harder. It was unnerving enough for Sasuke to tone down his defiant attitude.
"Shit, just...Just hear me out", he requested.
Gaara narrowed his eyes at the man, looked reluctant, but eventually endowed the man a shred of counterfeit mercy and backed away. Sasuke took an hold of his own throat, as if to ensure it wasn't leaking out life. Only then did he seek words fit for the discussion he had no interest in partaking.
"You don't get it", he grunted. "You don't get what you leavin' did to him."
Gaara was immediate to disagree. "I do."
Sasuke frowned, questioning the man's confidence. "How'd you even find out?"
The redhead said nothing, leaving him to figure it out on his own. "You went to see the guy in Fuchu, huh?"
Again, Gaara spent no words, but the look of surprise in his eyes spoke for itself. Clearly he hadn't expected Sasuke to take a guess firmer than wild. The redhead's steadfast silence didn't discourage him, but did coerce him into a tired sigh.
"I never wanted it to turn out this way. I never wanted him to start doin' it for money."
A mocking laugh cut him off. "Don't fuck with me. I know you told him to take the job. And you know I left him in your hands. I didn't have to tell you, you fuckin' knew!"
In a flash, Sasuke's humility turned into anger comparable to the redhead's. "Don't you fuckin' blame it all on me. You're the one who left!"
Gaara took a step closer hoping it'd make the man flinch. It didn't, and fed his fury. "You know why I left."
The hostile attitude struck Sasuke as unfair. He was willing to take part of the blame but refused to carry the redhead's half as well. Hearing the man deny his actions had anything to do with the downfall of Naruto's health was well worth the hisses he spat out.
"Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuckin' easy for you to say!"
The sudden change in tone and demeanor threw the redhead off just long enough to solidify Sasuke's role as the angrier party.
"You weren't there! You weren't there to see him fall apart day after day, drinkin' himself to death and fightin' not to take the easy way out!"
Gaara flinched. Why, he wasn't sure. Perhaps it was the enraged words and their judgmental message, maybe the hostility unlike any other he'd ever seen in the man shouting them. Either way, he could only stand there and take the verbal abuse thrown at him.
"I tried everythin'. I gave my fuckin' everythin' to make it easier for him. I thought up distractions, tried to make him forget. But all he cared 'bout was you."
Gaara's tense shoulders had dropped halfway into the string of sad sentences. He wasn't sure whether to feel happy or miserable to hear how big of a role he'd played even when not there.
Sasuke's angry voice dulled. "We stopped talkin' 'bout you two months in. You were always a fight, never a discussion."
Miserable. He felt miserably, not happy.
"I told him to take the jobs, yeah. But only so he'd have less time to miss you. That would've killed him way quicker than hired hits."
A sigh dropped between the tired reminders. He no longer felt angry. Just regretful.
"I regret it now. It became an obsession. He's overworked himself to the point of no goin' back."
Gaara failed to speak, Sasuke failed to remain in the real world and instead faded into one where their woeful life wasn't happening. A strained chuckle fell from his lips.
"Did you know he takes their tags?" he asked, lifting his gaze to meet a conflicted one. "Forty, now. I count 'em after every job he takes. He don't know I do that."
Sasuke paused to wonder why he bothered explaining himself to a man who knew no rhyme nor reason. Maybe he wasn't doing it as much to the redhead as he was to himself. He was yet to make peace with his regrettable decisions.
"Y'know...Watchin' him spend all his time inside, talkin' to that damn dog and slowly drinkin' himself to death...After a month of not one day sober, killin' for money stopped soundin' so bad."
Silence fell. Sasuke seemed done with his story, Gaara unable to speak. Viewing the man as the bigger failure, it became easier said than done. He'd read the letters Naruto had sent Sai, but hadn't seen through the heavy layer of sugarcoating. It'd been worse than he'd ever imagined, and no matter how he tried to wriggle his way out, he was to blame every bit as much as Sasuke. For the first time in his life, he felt like a failure. He hated the cause more than he did the feeling itself. But most of all, he hated himself for not having realized not everyone's strong point was indifference towards life's rocky road.
He should've been there. He should've been there for him.
"I know I did the right thing", Sasuke muttered, even in spite of his regret. "After takin' the jobs, he no longer woke up screamin' as often."
The rest of tension on Gaara's shoulders fell in defeat. He'd run out of ways to blame the other man and found every reason to blame himself instead. They exchanged somber looks, allowed themselves to accept reality as it were, and together abandoned the idea of arguing over mistakes that couldn't be undone. Gaara put the knife away. He had no use for it anymore.
Naruto wandered between the narrow aisles of the small store, not looking for anything in particular. He was doing his best to distract himself from whatever it was going on outside. No matter how much time went by, no matter the place or occasion, he would never feel comfortable leaving the two alone, but tried his best to have a little faith in both. In the last naive corner of his mind, there was a chance they'd know how to behave. That fraction of gullibility was the only thing stopping him from storming back outside to check on them.
Unwittingly, he'd stopped by the liquor shelf. He must've stood there for five minutes by then just staring at the rows of bottled poison, feeling tempted to give in and do the unthinkable. The thought tangled into a knot of anxiety in his throat. He tried swallowing it away, but couldn't.
His attitude towards alcohol had taken a drastic change in the past months. His relatively stable relationship with it had gone from fun to detrimental. Fragile, in the lack of a better word. Not long after parting ways with Gaara, he'd discovered its medicating means and abused it until he'd hit a wall. He hadn't stopped drinking altogether. Absolution wasn't the solution to excess in his opinion, but he'd stopped drinking at home, stopped drinking alone and banned all alcohol from the house. He only drank in the company of others and never without Sasuke's supervision knowing that without his watchful eyes the number of drinks got out of hand. That was a lesson he'd learned through many a trial and error. Places where he had to pay himself sore to even get tipsy were a limiting environment he'd taken a liking to.
His tactic had proven itself functional, but every now and then the urge to cross the limit still tempted and always haunted at the back of his mind. Sometimes he just wanted to drown his problems in booze and forget everything that was bad and all that hurt, even if it was for just a while. Even if it made him regret it in the morning, even if it was slowly killing him. Self-detriment was an enemy no lesser than foes of real flesh and blood.
Naruto shut his eyes and sighed. He silently reminded himself that his reason to drink and drown his demons had lost its purpose now that Gaara was back. Finding fragile confidence in his own reasoning, he opened his eyes only to find a familiar figure standing beside him. Startled, he flinched and turned to face the man who'd appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Hadn't it been for the redhead's strange stare, he would've called him out on the scare.
There was an odd look in his eyes, a blend of disapproval and guilt. The former he understood, the latter he questioned, but only in silence. After a while of staring, the green eyes turned to see the shelf of self-hatred Naruto had been caught lusting after. Right away, he knew Sasuke had told him. Told him everything. As much as he wanted to feel angry about it, shame was the best he could do. His gaze fell to the floor, jaw clenched and embarrassment dragged down his posture. For a while, he feared the redhead would yell at him, be rude about it, perhaps even condescending, but surprised by picking none. Instead he took a gentle hold of his arm, and after one more glance at the shelf, pulled him away from it.
"C'mon. There ain't anythin' here we need."
He didn't sound harsh, not even judgmental. It was but a matter of fact. One Naruto agreed with. They made their way to the other side of the cramped store. On his way to the counter, Naruto passed the glass door he'd expected to see Sasuke through. The man wasn't there.
"Where's Sasuke?" he asked the man who'd gotten distracted by a magazine rack.
"Went ahead."
Naruto accepted the simple answer and continued his walk to the checkout. There he found a young woman leaning against the counter, posture slumped down by what he assumed to be overtime. She didn't seem happy about working at such a late hour, but put on a smile upon seeing him approach. It seemed forced till the moment she got a proper look at him.
"Hey", she chirped, suddenly perkier. He was too tired himself to question the sudden change.
"Hey. Four packs of red...somethin'. Don't matter", he mumbled. The girl flashed another smile, wider than the last.
While she rummaged through brands of cigarettes, Naruto took a glance over his shoulder. Gaara remained distracted by the wall of journalism not far off, to the point of having picked up a paper to read. Though he questioned the man's sudden interest in current events, he shrugged it off and turned back around leaving him to flick through the news. The cashier had stacked the packs on the counter and now watched him with yet another sweet smile on her face. The beaming kind, too wide to seem sane, especially that late into the evening.
"Anythin' else, honey?" she asked.
It was then his lonely light bulb turned on. She was flirting. He must've been off the market far too long to miss something as obvious. Though flattering, though she was pretty, he didn't feel particularly interested in her efforts of mating. Her low cut top was distracting, but so was her age. Eighteen summers old, at best. Half a decade too young for his interest and a whole one for her tits to be spilling out of her blouse. Granted, they were easy on the eye, but he far too polite to stare. Disregarding the existence of her fortunate attributes, he forced a smile.
"Maybe. Gotta wait till he makes up his mind 'bout the news", he told, nodding in the redhead's direction.
Her smile grew alluring. It was clear she'd only asked out of necessity.
"Long night ahead?" she wanted to know, dressing her lewd ideas as general curiosity.
He'd thought her breasts couldn't possibly push out any further, but found himself proven wrong. Sudden fatherly feelings took him by surprise, but he was smart enough to keep them strictly on the inside.
"Uh, don't know yet", he replied with stiff politeness. The girl's smile widened from ear to ear.
"You know, my shift ends in an hour. Any plans?"
Like an idiot, he stuttered, "I, uhm...Yeah, kinda."
It was obvious she was used to hitting on clients and undoubtedly was quite successful, yet he had troubles understanding that this young lady, barely of age, was likely picking up men like trash off the sidewalk. When he'd been eighteen, known as notorious or not, he'd had exactly one successful trip into a girl of equal age. Then again, he'd behaved as if he'd been left a step behind in evolution. It wasn't really something women looked for in a man.
"You seem a little nervous", the girl observed. "Are you married or something? Cause I don't mind."
Naruto huffed out tense chuckle and took a glance over his shoulder. "I...no. Ain't married."
His reply was like heroin to her. "Well, why not come with me then? I'll make you a happy man. For the night, anyway."
She was close. Too close. She obviously had no sense of personal space, was worse at reading social clues than Gaara and only one word away from pushing Naruto to the brink of rude rejection. He opened his mouth, prepared to be blunt, but was cut off by a strong arm wrapping around him from behind. He didn't have to look to know Gaara was pressed hard against his back. The lips on his neck were a solid giveaway.
"Didn't mean to make you wait, angel."
The lady lifted her gaze to see Gaara. The smile on her face fell as if someone had smacked her. Her forward leaning posture slumped, her cheeks flushed deep red and eyes dodged the cold ones staring her way. Gaara threw the newspaper he'd picked out on the counter, demanding to be served accordingly. With a raging blush on her face, she saw through her job. In midst of doing so, her gaze traveled back to the blonde. Gaara's attitude took a turn towards defensive, eyes narrowed and arm pulled the man harder against him. Naruto didn't mind, per se, but felt self-aware of the awkward look on his face. He and the girl shared the same expression while Gaara looked the most obnoxious anyone could've. The girl stuttered the total, he paid her. She was about to give the change but found it declined.
"Keep it. I got somethin' better than money."
The redhead's smirk and tone were as big of a gloat as every other action so far, but were the first to turn the girl's face green with either jealousy or envy. Jealousy over the blonde, or envy over the prince charming gone hellishly wrong. Uninterested in finding out and eager to leave, Naruto flashed an awkward smile, grabbed what was theirs and tried not to mind the hand down his back pocket. The woman struggled a semi-polite smile onto her half embarrassed, half resentful mess of a face.
"Thank you. Have a good night", her dry voice wished.
"That's the plan", the redhead assured, not sparing the sneer nor implication in his voice.
Hadn't the girl felt so defeated under Gaara's piercing glare she might've mumbled an insult under her breath, but in the name of survival, didn't. Naruto had to physically drag the man out of the store, and only when outside did the redhead's hostile glare turn as vapid as ever. Naruto could've called him out on the immature behavior but decided to find the humor in it instead.
"Subtle", he chuckled, shaking his head. Gaara's arm found a place to rest on the blonde's shoulders.
"Should've kept the tits on her side of the counter", he mumbled, unsealing one of the unopened packs with his teeth.
"Jealous much?" Naruto huffed, accepting the cigarette passed to him. The redhead was polite enough to light it.
"Hell yeah." He lit one for himself too. "World's cruel. A guy's gotta play dirty to keep his toys."
"Toys?" snorted Naruto. The choice of word didn't bother him. The grammatical case did. "There's more than one?"
"Petty fuck", Gaara accused, but decided to stand corrected. "Just you."
Curiosity lured Naruto's hand out of his pocket and under the man's shirt. "Yeah?"
His skepticism faced lousy humor. "Well, you're my favorite."
Naruto pulled a face but took the comment as payback for his earlier remark. Gaara was gracious enough to apologize with a kiss that tasted like an ashtray, but worked its wonders all the same. Even if it was less of an apology and more of a gloat to the girl he knew watched them through the window. Boys never grew to be men.
The hotel was only a road-crossing away. Sasuke had left them keys to paid rooms with the receptionist, as well as a note with his room number written on it. Naruto supposed the man assumed he'd drag his ass all the way there to deliver his pack of cigarettes. He succumbed to his fate. It beat relentless bitching in the morning. Upon reaching the elevator, Gaara and Naruto found themselves waiting for its arrival with an elderly couple. Naruto could feel the redhead's burning stare on him, but dismissed it. Knowing his questions weren't ones he wanted to answer in the presence of elders, he refused to give them an ear.
The elevator arrived, the doors sliding open. Politely Naruto allowed the old couple inside first and asked to know their destined floor. Learning they were headed to the top floor, he pushed the button for them as well.
The doors slid shut. Naruto went to lean against the back wall next to Gaara. The couple standing in the corner stayed as silent as they. It wasn't tense, but a tad uncomfortable, the way most silences between strangers tended to be. As Sasuke's room was on the 20th floor, he did his best to just stare at his own shoes, avoiding all possible contact with people he didn't know. Gaara didn't seem to mind the silence or the strangers. His total lack of social anxiety gave him the freedom to think of things other than discomfort. Glancing at the monitor above the doors, he tilted his head in a curious manner. They'd passed the tenth floor. He'd get off on the 17th. With a mindful of questionable ideas, he glanced at the blonde whose eyes drilled holes into the floor. There wasn't much thought between taking the glance and, without warning, shoving the man against the wall, lips not about to take no for an answer stifling any opinions surprise might've stirred.
Though Naruto froze in shock, he was embarrassingly quick to welcome the tongue looking for an invite into his mouth. The hand he'd put out to push the man away got pinned against the wall, the eyes he'd planned on keeping open fell shut and the urge to press closer won by accident. In a heartbeat he forgot about their whereabouts, the couple next to them and every act considered appropriate in public. The pairs of mortified eyes watching them went unnoticed for the next seven floors, each one less decent than the one before. The shameful moan Naruto let slip upon feeling a hand slide into the front pocket of his jeans was one he'd regret later on, but for now drowned in the disappointment of the touch leaving too soon to satisfy.
The elevator came to a stop. Gaara inched away, flashing an obnoxious smile. As busy as he was hiding the outcome trapped in his jeans, Naruto was aware enough to realize the man was holding up a key card. The key to his hotel room, to be specific.
"If you want it, come get it", Gaara dared, stealing another short moment against the blonde's parted lips.
Before he knew it, the redhead was gone, the doors sliding back shut. They were slow enough for him to still catch the defiant smirk plastered across the man's face. Hadn't his legs had trouble keeping him upright and dick been on the rise, he might've shouted an insult through the doors.
The elevator took off again leaving Naruto in the quietest, most embarrassing silence in living memory. Slowly he turned to see the elder couple still in his company. He met with two baffled stares. No words in the world could've expressed the humiliation of having to look them in the eye, flash a tense smile and withstand another three floors in the shared ride. Though he was mortified, a small smile eventually found its way to his lips. He chuckled, shaking his head. Gaara might've left him there to suffer in shame in behalf of both of them, but there was no denying it might've been worth the embarrassment. God knows he'd never been hit on as persuasively.
The elevator reached the 20th floor. Not glancing at the couple yet to stop staring, he walked out and went on to find Sasuke's room. Due to the late hour, the hallway was dead quiet and allowed the short exchange of words inside the elevator to follow him down the corridor.
"Why don't we do that anymore?" the old woman questioned with a hint of envy.
"We're married", the man replied. "Ancient and married."
That's some first class smoothness I'd say. Peace out till next week.