Well, I'm back with another part. Have decided to write T-at-most rated fics only from now on, no more smut fics and am scrapping the smutty WIPs I have. It's just not worth the bother. Non-M rated fics are much more redeeming besides the fact that the smut draws away from the plot.

Loved the reviews, keep them up!

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Still, the idea of having so much power over him wouldn't leave her mind even as she replied. "You're right, it might be a good idea to check it out after we're done here. I need some new clothes and as loathe as I am to admit it, I'm gonna get much bigger all too soon and I'm gonna need real maternity clothes. Most of what I have is already too tight, only the dresses are still somewhat comfortable."

Harm nodded affirmatively, eager to get out of the minefield. "Okay then. When we're done here, I'll take the stuff to the car and meet you there."

She nodded agreeing, and as Harm turned back to the shelves since the matter was decided upon, something caught her eye and she wondered off.

A minute later, Harm, who had been in the meantime trying to decide between several brands of spaghetti, turned around and was startled not to see her around.

Whipping around fully he surveyed the store with worried eyes, when he finally found her. She was in the sweets aisle, reaching, if he wasn't mistaking, for a big jar of Nutella.

Then, out of the corner of his eye he saw a man come down the main aisle, which separated the aisle in which Loren was from the one where Harm was, and did a sharp 90 degree turn when he caught sight of Loren.

Harm cocked his head, honestly intrigued. The man looked like he was about to come on to her and Harm definitely wanted to know how she'd react. Not that he was jealous or possessive (okay, so he was starting to become a little possessive - however not jealous -, but it was a job requirement being her life-partner), but he really wanted to know how Loren reacted to male attention. She was an attractive woman with an air of strong personality, which drew men like flies. Or should he say 'moths'. For that's how it ended for them.

The phrase 'crash and burn' came to mind, only revised. 'Burned and crashed' was a much better fitting term for what happened to the young man, seemingly 5 years younger than Loren, blond haired, medium build, with a suave smile, the one indicating the guy had no problem picking up women. Except for this time. When he made his move he didn't get batting eyebrows, smokey eyes, out-thrust breasts, purry voice or any kind of flirting.

The answer Loren gave him was a glare so icy it had the ice-cold-water-effect even on Harm, who had nothing to do with it, making his own particular parts of the anatomy shrivel up. No doubt it was much worse for the other guy. From the man's proximity to the glare and the sole fact he was it's target, Harm was sure the man had just been literally castrated by that single look. His recovery would probably take a while.

Burned and then crashed, splattering on the ground like a water melon.

The man literally stumbled over his feet as he hurried away and, even though it was plain the man was... er... HAD BEEN a womanizer (Harm doubted he still was one after the lesson he'd just been taught), Harm couldn't help but feel just a tiny, itty-bitty, miniscule shred of sympathy for him. Well, okay, that moment of sympathy left him immediately.

'Well, now this is interesting.' thought Harm when he recovered. He'd known immediately Loren would reject the man, knowing how seriously she held their commitment to each other and how she didn't want to get involved in another relationship, seeing as she and Harm were together now, but he had not expected such a vehement reaction.

Grabbing her prize she stalked over to him, mumbling under her breath. He distinctly heard something about pigs, womanizers, rusty knives and several methods of torture he hadn't even known she knew about.

Noticing his surprised look she snapped, hurt, thinking he'd believed she was going to take the guy up on his offer. "I wasn't going to sleep with him, some guy I just met!"

Harm's response was a soft, soothing voice. "I knew you wouldn't. Not before and not now that we're... I guess..." he hesitated not sure whether to say it, but then he remembered their agreement: no secrets. "I guess I was just surprised at the strength of your reaction."

Loren looked at him sharply, instinctively expecting ridicule or hostility, the attitude she received from everyone else, but was surprised to see genuine concern shining there. Harm thought she looked like she was going to say something, but then turned away, put her jar in the cart and moved off. Harm hurried to catch up with her and they spent the next few minutes in a silence, but not tense silence, browsing through food items. She completely surprised him with her answer, because from her silence he had thought the matter closed to her.

"I don't sleep around and especially not with his type, not after..." she broke off and was silent again, chastising herself for saying too much.

Spying Harm's gaze from the corner of her eye she didn't see the curious expression of someone dying for gossip, but a caring expression of someone who actually cared about her. It was a completely new feeling for her, knowing she was that important to someone.

Sure, she and Sergei had been working towards friendship, but Sergei was a cautious person, due to his experience in war, and didn't allow himself to get attached that soon. Harm, on the other hand, had not had any such prejudice towards establishing an emotional bond early on, knowing that in a way Loren was a sure thing, a safe bet, that she wouldn't leave him now that they'd decided to get together. It was much easier to entrust your heart to someone you were in a business-deal-like-relationship with, than in a all-emotions-only-relationship, because emotions can fade, they can burn away, disappear, while a business contract is a lasting thing, one a person will hold to forever. Well, unless they are a crook. And since their relationship was more like a business deal, because of which Harm knew Loren would never leave, never break the deal off, he found it much easier to entrust her with a piece of his heart, because she'd never break it, than to another woman in a normal relationship, let's say Mac.

His relationship with Mac had always been very volatile, they had "broken up" many times and part of the reason why Harm had never completely opened up to her, risked his heart...okay, next to the fact that Mac had never done the same, had never really risked anything, had always had a safety net either in the form of a relationship or by careful phrasing of her attempt that left him guessing what was it she actually wanted. And then she got pissed at him when he couldn't read her mind or when he misunderstood her. What he'd always desperately wanted from her was a user's manual, the one owners get when they buy a new car or a computer. He wasn't a mind reader and his ability to guess intentions had always spectacularly failed him when it came to Mac. She also never seemed receptive to a relationship with him when they were both free, just made hit-and-run charges when one of them was with someone else (when they'd been in Sydney, for example, Harm had already been involved with Renee) and thus knew there was no way for them to get together.

Which made Harm think Mac was, when conducting her probes, hiding behind her relationships with other men or his relationships with other women, and it'd made him wonder whether she had ever really wanted a relationship with him or just wanted to string him along, keep him interested to make herself feel better with the knowledge she was still attractive. Or was it something else, perhaps she was afraid of being happy or perhaps afraid of delving into an unknown territory by having a healthy, adult, equal relationship, something she didn't have any experience in, as her role models had been the lousiest possible and because all of her previous relationships had been the complete opposite of healthy, adult equal relationships, with her willingly giving the man the reigns to her life and letting him make all of her decisions? Lowne had been the type to want control, Brumby had been even more obvious in being a control freak.

But the main reason Harm had not trusted Mac with his heart was because there had always been a niggling doubt at the back of his mind whether she'd wouldn't leave him or even be unfaithful to him. Had they gotten together in Sydney, would she be happy with him or would she be unhappy, perhaps even cheat on him wth another man? The last time they'd met it had been pretty obvious Farrow still wanted her... Perhaps she would again go to Farrow, like she had done while she'd been married to Chris (ep What If).

In the relationships she'd had since he'd known her she'd never committed herself to the man fully, had kept her options open. Why should he believe she would be different with him? And with the relationships she'd had before they'd met, Mac had been cheating on her husband.

And this is the reason why he had never given his heart to her, he'd never be sure whether she wouldn't leave him by either dying, losing interest in him, losing love for him or wasn't completely faithful to him, not having forsaken all others for him, as she'd promised, by still keeping her options open for someone "better" to come along and then she'd leave Harm for that man. She'd done that to Brumby for Harm, what's to stop her from doing that to Harm?

What it all came down to were Harm's fears of Mac abandoning him, leaving him if they'd ever enter a relationship.

And he was truthful with himself that he had serious abandonment issues. With almost every person he'd ever truly loved in his life having either died or left him, who could blame him?

On the other hand he knew he didn't have to fear abandonment from Loren. Their relationship was a business deal, a contract, there were no such a messy and fragile thing as emotions being the tie between them. Loren was a true business woman and thus Harm knew she'd never renege their contract, go back on it. Which is why Harm had allowed himself to form an emotional attachment, to openly care for her (okay, so only when they were alone) without prejudice, wasn't afraid of letting her see what she now meant to him.

And because of this openly and honestly caring look Loren decided to break her wall down a little and let him in just a couple of feet. Completely unaware along the way that she'd just made a giant leap towards healing from her previous disastrous relationships and getting herself to be first time in decades capable of having a happy romantic relationship, capable of giving herself to a man fully, trusting him, trusting him with her heart, her soul, her mind and her body, knowing it went both ways.

Unaware, Loren had just taken the first step down the path towards she and Harm having a true relationship, real family, true marriage, trust and love.

Looking around, she checked there was no-one around, before whispering. "My first time was with that type. I was young and naive back then. He courted me at first and was so charming, but after he got what he was after he left and I never saw him again. He was also selfish and didn't even make sure I..." she shut up, realizing she'd said too much, especially when she saw Harm look uncomfortable.

She'd known for a time he was a private and even shy man when it came to sex and it frankly surprised her, considering how much praise had one of his former girlfriends had for his sexual prowess. Loren hadn't been at the HQ then yet, but she'd heard LCDR Imes and LTJG Sims talking.

"Anyway, that's when I swore I wasn't going to give in to this type of men anymore. I wasn't gonna let myself be used anymore."

She turned sad eyes to the floor and Harm tantatively reached out and put one hand on her shoulder. He didn't know what else to do.

This relationship was like no other he had ever known. It was so complex, had so many layers and contradictions he sometimes didn't know where the boundaries were. They'd been coworkers with a civil relationship before and slowly becoming friends, and now they were together to raise a child, yet they weren't involved in that way, they weren't lovers. They were still awkward and hesitant with giving and seeking comfort, even if it was just an innocent hug, not knowing what was acceptable in this relationship they had and what was out of bounds.

He wanted to give her a hug, a kind of comfort, but wasn't sure how it would be received in the middle of a store, when it would no doubt draw attention.

So he just gave her time and space, while making sure she knew he was there for her. Soon, she lifted stormy blue eyes at him and smiled tremulously, quickly wiping away a lonely tear. "I'm okay, it's just these hormones, they make everything worse."

This time he gave in to his urge and took her briefly into his arms. Rubbing her back once he released her in case she had any protests.

Loren parted from him, somewhat unwillingly it seemed, and looked around embarrassed.

Harm, wanting to avoid another tense moment, grabbed the cart again. "Ready to move on?"

She looked up and her eyes showed she'd caught on to the double meaning in his words. Slowly she smiled. "Yeah, I'm ready. Can't wait to see what's waiting for us out there."

With just a few steps they reached the area of the store Harm dreaded. When he'd still been in his 20's he'd liked it, but in his 30's, particularly the last few years, he'd come to dread it.

The produce section.

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